We're All Insane - Fatal Roadtrip - I lost my best friend and my hand

Episode Date: September 9, 2024

In this emotional video, we follow Kamryn, who was embarking on a life-changing road trip with her best friend. They were filled with excitement, ready to start a new chapter together by moving in and building their future. But just hours into the trip, their plans were shattered when they were involved in a tragic car accident. The crash took the life of her best friend and left her with the devastating loss of her hand. Through her story, she shares the pain of losing someone so dear, the challenges of coping with her own injuries, and how she’s finding the strength to move forward despite the overwhelming grief and loss. This video is a raw and honest look at resilience, healing, and the power of friendship, even in the face of unimaginable tragedy. Kamryn's Links: https://www.instagram.com/kamrynsetzer/?igsh=MWYyazVmNGwwMHRuOA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr https://emswrld.com/emswrld/shop/home If you have a unique story you'd like to share on the podcast, please fill out this form: https://forms.gle/ZiHgdoK4PLRAddiB9 or send an email to [e-mail] Business Inquiries please contact: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey guys, it's me Devorah. I just dropped an all new bonus episode inside my new subscription channel, We're All Insane Plus. This week's bonus episode is called My Brain was slipping into my spine. Listen now by subscribing to We're All Insane Plus inside your Spotify or Apple Podcasts app or go to we're all insane.com. My name is Cameron Setser. I'm 23 and this past December, first I was in a car accident with my best friend and she passed and I lost my hand because of it. But I don't know. Today I'm just going to explain what happened. Tell your story.

So basically we met like, I would say, I think it was like late 2021. We were with her actually at a car show and she knew her. my friend Logan sitting over there. But we just all started hanging out as a group and got to know each other and just came like closer over time. And we kind of bonded over like music and we decided to like go to like a bunch of concerts like coming up. And we ended up like over time over like literally a year going to like nine different concerts

together. And it was so crazy. But it was like it was fun. Was it the same kind of music or like all different kinds? I would say like it's all like the same kind of music. What kind of music did you guys like? It was very much like the TikTok people that got famous like Jaden Hossler and like Nessa. So we saw like him a bunch of times and then we became obsessed with like their opener.

Yeah. For the tour. And I feel like it's just we like traveled so much. We like went to Arizona for a show. We went to Arizona like a few times actually. And that's where her family's from. Okay. So we, from traveling there a bunch of times and like going to all these shows together,

we just like became inseparable. We hung out like every day. And we decided eventually we were like, let's move there. So Arizona? Yeah. Okay. You and Logan. No, me and my friend that passed.

Okay. Got it. So we decided to do that. We were like, let's just do it. it. Like whatever, her family lives there. We were like, we have people, like, we wouldn't be alone. It would be fun. And it happened to be like her lease on her apartment was ending in December. So we were like, let's just do it then. Like, whatever. So we decided the first day of December was the first. It was like started on a weekend. So we were like that Friday.

let's start driving and we'll just take the whole weekend to drive our stuff from PA where we live to Arizona. Okay. It's like, I think like a 30-hour drive, something crazy. Wow. And what was she in PA for? So her family, like, used to live here. Okay. They've lived, like, between PA and Arizona, like a few times in their life. So when they moved back to Arizona, I think, in, like, 2020.

she decided to stay here because she was in a relationship at the time in school. Okay. She didn't want to like leave her school and everything. So she stayed here, like went to college. And I'm kind of glad that she stayed honestly because else I would have never met her. But yeah, so she stayed and she just wanted to like be home with her family. And I was like, I'll go to Arizona. And were you nervous at all?

Just like pick up and leave? I was definitely very scared. Like I've only ever lived in Pennsylvania like my whole life. So it was very like scary for me. I was so nervous and like I've only ever lived with like my parents. So I was like, were they like good for you to do it? They were obviously like very sad. But at first they were like, do it like you have to.

Like they had me at a very young age. So they were like, okay, like you have to like at your age already. like we had you like me and my brother. Right, like go live your life. So they were like, if I had that opportunity, like, I would have definitely done it. So like, go do it. Oh, that's awesome. That's good.

We love supportive parents. Yeah, they were actually very like, go do it. Like, yes, we'll miss you, but we'll like be here. Like you can come visit. We'll come see you. So it was sweet. But I was still like shaking in my boots every day. I was like, oh my gosh.

It's literally like starting over. Yeah. And I was like never had to like pack things by myself. like it was just like so many things that I was like I'm going to have to do this all by myself. I was like scared. But I knew she already lived on her own at that point. And she was like a year younger than me. So I was like if you can do it like I got you like you'll help me.

Like we got this. So we packed all our things into both of our cars and we shipped a few things out. And we decided to move there. we were going to like, she went to school for kitchen and bath design. So she was going to do that. And we both used to like waitress at restaurants. So we were going to do that. I have my aesthetics license.

Okay. So I was going to try to work at like a spa somewhere down there. But her family has like their own business where they like make custom anything that you could think of. That's cool. So we were going to like make her own like cute little shirts and just like sell them. and stuff, and we thought that would be fun. Yeah, creative. Just like those cute little Target crop tops that are like five bucks, just like throw stupid

sayings on them and like sell them. We were like, that would be cute. So we had like plans definitely like and we like after once we got settled, definitely wanted to like get on our own feet and get our own place. So you guys were going to live with her parents when you first got down there. Yeah. Got it. They had like an extra bedroom.

Okay. So we were like, let's just do it. Yeah. Why not? And we left on the first and we made it probably, I think like, I think it's like six, seven hours in. We were, we got to Columbus, Ohio and that's where like the accident happened. Were you guys in the same car? You were driving separate?

Yeah. We were in my car, just us too. And her cats were behind us. in like a cat carrier and then in her car in front of us was her brother and his friend So they were just driving down They were like leading the way in her car

And we were kind of like following Got it and that was just basically so you guys could put Have your cars down there Yeah okay But Yeah we it was kind of like I would describe the day as like very gloomy It was a gloomy day

It was like raining all day It was so gross like foggy out, December, it's cold. I was like not feeling the best, obviously, because I didn't want to leave everybody, but I was like, it's just so gross out. Like, I don't want to sit in the car and, like, road trip in this. Like, I was starting to get, like, definitely scared and, like, nervous.

Right, it's like, it's very, you get a very different vibe when it's, like, sun is shining, you're going, and then when if it's just, like, raining or cold or dark, you're like, I wouldn't be in bed. Yeah. super like, I don't want to leave. Like, I'm so sad. Like, blah, blah, blah. And the weather was, like, not helping at all.

Did you feel anxious at all? Yeah. Okay. I was, like, super shaky all day long, like, oh, my gosh, I'm going to throw up. Like, this is so scary. And so we finally, like, we got on the road. We made, like, one pit stop for gas at this point. And it was, like, probably, I want to say we stopped for gas around, like, seven.

or eight and then in the morning or at night at night okay um because we were already like five hours in and then later in the night as we got closer and it got later we were like we should stop soon like we really shouldn't be driving all night long and at that point it was like 930-ish and I sent a text in our group chat to like her brother and I was like we should probably stop soon like I know I'm tired like I don't know like I know we just switched driving. Like we just did like a stop for gas and like she switched. So she was driving and I was the passenger at this point.

And then like literally 30 minutes later is when it happened. It happened at 10 at night. We were on the highway in Ohio and she honestly just like lost control of the car. Like all of a sudden we were driving and the next second we were like swerving all over the road. Like, I don't know. They really don't even know still what happened. So when you sent the text in the group chat, did you guys all kind of decide collectively, like, okay, we're going to stop soon? Like, did you have a set time or not really? We didn't really have, like, a set time, but we kind of just, like, decided, like, we'll, we'll think about it, like, and we'll stop, like, soonish. Okay. So, like, we'll go for a little longer. Yeah. Okay. So just kind of, like, planning by year.

We didn't really have, like, a plan. Like, we didn't have any, like, prepaid, like, hotels. Like, it wasn't, like, like, we had like stops along the way. We were kind of just going to like go until we felt like stopping. And then so you said that you were like driving and then the next minute you were kind of swerving all over. Did you, were you guys like mid-conversation or like, do you remember? So I want to say like the officer that like talked to me, he said like we probably hydroplained. And that's what happened.

But I do think like we were talking before like everything. I'm like I remember everything completely after the accident like when I like woke up and regained like consciousness but like before it. Okay. It's kind of like blurred. Yeah. Blurred. Just because I don't know like I don't really remember. I just remember it being like completely normal and then it wasn't.

It was just like complete chaos. And then did the car in front of you? That was her brother and his friend, right? Yeah. they were they didn't see us like they didn't see anything they were still ahead and they okay um but he said like he told me eventually like he knew immediately like the once he didn't see us in our in his rear view he like had like a bad feeling and he tried to call both of us and both calls like went to voicemail and he like he was like yeah like I knew something bad happened so they did like once we

both didn't answer like multiple times they did like a turnaround on the highway. And when they came back this way, he said, like, an ambulance was already there. So he was like, okay, like, if something bad happens, like, they're good. But I just remember, like, I woke up and I was, like, sitting in my seat like this because I was in the passenger seat and I woke up. And instantly, like, I had, like, a sweatshirt on and I looked down and I was, like, missing part of my sleeve. I'm Anna Garcia, host of True Crime News, the podcast. Every week, we bring you in-depth coverage on cases making headlines, as well as those that go under the radar. Tune in for murders that defy explanation, mystery seeking exploration, and shocking secrets that will leave you breathless.

Each week, we honor the victims by going beyond the salacious in our search for justice. Crime never stops, and neither do we. Listen to true crime news available now wherever you get your podcasts. And I, like, touched my arm, and I, like, felt my, like, bone. And I like in that moment I like knew immediately I was like I don't have like there's nothing there anymore and I like touch my face. I have like a scar on my face from it too. I like knew instantly like there's something bleeding from my face like Did you feel any pain? No, no pain at this point. And then I kind of like realized like okay like oh shit like we got into a car accident like let me get out of the car, like, figure out what's going on.

Did you look over at her at all at this point or not yet? I didn't. So what had happened was we lost control and eventually hit a guardrail. Okay. And instead of the guardrail, us, like, bouncing off of it or breaking away, it kind of came through. Like, if this is my car, it came through, like, the center part of it, like, all the way to the back. Like, the whole guardrail went through the, like, the whole guard rail went through the car. Yeah. Like, like a sword pretty much. Um, so that is like what took my hand. Like,

my arm was out like this and it just like instantly was gone. Wow. Like there was like nothing that could have been done about it. So it just completely like took your arm off basically. Okay. But the the guardrail wasn't still like in your arm. No. Okay. Like I was in the impact to it. Yeah. Yeah. So I got out of the car and I like was kind of like leaning up against it. And once I was like leaning up against the car, that's when I like kind of was like, I'm in like a lot of pain. Like I don't know what happened to me, but like I am like, I was like, I'm going to pass out. So I like laid down on the side of the highway and there were like obviously cars like passing by and like nobody was pulling over and like nobody was.

So at this point it's just it's still just like. Like you guys and you're just standing outside of the car by yourself. Yeah. So I'm like trying to like flag down other cars. Like somebody pull over like I have no idea where my phone is. Like I don't have my glasses on my face. Like I can't see. Yeah.

I'm probably so so much more out of it too than like it feels in that moment. I just remember feeling like so confused like in the moment like not thinking about anything. Right. But just like can someone help me? Like that was the only thing I was thinking. like literally not about anything else but just like someone needs to help me right now yeah and I remember I was just like laying on the side of the ground just like someone needs to come like pull over right now and like I would say like two minutes later like it was probably like five

minutes collectively that I was waiting until the ambulance got there but it felt like 30 like it felt like an eternity that I was like sitting there waiting like and it felt like an eternity that I was like sitting there waiting like. It doesn't help that it was dark out because I feel like if you're just driving, especially on a highway and you just see a car like stopped. If they like I can imagine how like if you're not really looking, you wouldn't see what was happening. Whereas it's light out, you can see that like obviously someone's outside of the car and like on the ground. So they kind of like pulled up and they like rushed out of the ambulance immediately and they were like. So I wonder who somebody had to have called that.

Yeah. I think it was her brother actually. Okay. I think he, like, called for help, like, once we weren't answering. I don't know, honestly, who called for help or got, I'm just glad that they got there as quick as they did. Like, thankfully where our accident happened, like, in Ohio, it was, like, five minutes from the... Exit? From their, like, trauma center.

Got it. So it was pretty close. So we were, like, very close to the hospital, which is, like, very wet, like... good. Like I'm glad, like, they said, like, if it would have been, like, any longer, like, I probably would have lost, like, so much more blood, like, all these other things. So, I'm very grateful for that, but... So at this point, you're laying down? So at this point, I'm laying down on the ground, and they come over to me, and they're just

more so, like, confused how I got out of the car and, like, I'm laying down on the ground. And I was just, like, please, like, get me up, like, get me up. Like, I don't want to be laying on the ground anymore. So they like put me on the stretcher, like get me up. They put me in the ambulance. And I kind of asked them, like, I looked at them immediately. Like, they're asking me all these questions. And I was just like, is my hand there?

Like, is my arm there? And they were like, no. And at that point, I just like, that's when I like fully like realize like, oh, right, like, it's never going to be there. It's never going to be a thing again. Like, I'm not. I only have one hand now. So I feel like it took me like not long to kind of like register in my brain.

Like, okay, this is how life is going to be now. But in that moment, I was honestly just focused on getting to the hospital. They were asking me like so many questions and I was just ignoring them honestly. Just like, can you call my mom? Can you get my mom? Can you? I just wanted like my mom or my dad. or something. And I have their numbers memorized. Thank God because I gave it to them like instantly.

I was like, please just call my mom. Just call somebody. And they brought me into the hospital, like into the emergency room. And you're still conscious? Like they're all this. Okay. They're asking me like all these questions like my name, my age birthday, like parents phone numbers, where I live, what was happening, like what we're doing, how the accident happened. And at the time, I'm like, I have no idea. Like, I don't know the answer to any of these questions. And thankfully, like, I could give them, like, my name and stuff like that.

But, like, at this point, I didn't remember. Like, nothing had, like, come back to me. Like, about the accident. Yeah, I just kind of was like, I literally just woke up. what do you mean? Like, I just woke up and this happened. Like, I don't know how I got here. And after that, I kind of, once I was, like, in the ER and they, like, got my name and everything,

I kind of don't remember anything until, like, I woke up in, like, my actual hospital bed. And at that point, I was, like, all bandaged up, like, in the bed, like. So up into this point, you still didn't know how your friend was doing, right? No. Okay. They, like, I kept asking them, like, in the ambulance ride, like, is my friend coming? Like, why is she not in here? Like, is she coming behind me? And they were like, yeah, she'll come behind you. She'll come behind you. Um, like, I didn't know until I woke up in my room and, like, her brother came to visit me. Like, nobody told me anything. They still were like, oh, yeah. She's in a room. Like, she's being taken care of. Like, nobody, like, kind of told me anything until I saw him. And, like, nobody, like, kind of told me anything until I saw him. And then he kind of told me, like, she passed away, like, instantly. Like, she didn't make it, like, and that was it.

Yeah. But, and at that time, obviously, like, I was very out of it and, like, on lots of medications and stuff. And I'd just woken up from, like, a surgery. Yeah. I'm like, what do you mean? Everyone said, like, she was coming. Like, what do you mean? and I was just like I think I was so out of it he said I asked him like 200 times like where is she

where is she where is she because I just like my brain would not register and I kept like forgetting it instantly but I was at the hospital until like when I got there that night on the December 1st I didn't leave until December 12th so I was there. They're like almost like a full two weeks. Just kind of like kind of becoming like a new normal, I guess. So did you just have surgery on your arm or did they have to do anything else? I had a surgery on my arm. I had like six broken ribs up here.

So they had to plate three of them because they were broken in like multiple spots. I had a chest tube at one point because there was like, They were worried about air in my lungs. I had to get like surgery on the scar on my face. So it was like at least like four different surgeries that I had while I was there. And then I recently in February had a surgery on my arm again. They kind of went in and like rerouted all the nerves to different muscles to kind of help with nerve pain that I've been having. since the accident because they keep all the nerves that are connected to your hands like

inside of you. Okay. So they've kind of been like irritated. Yeah. As a way to like describe it, they just don't have anything to do so they get angry and it it results in pain. Okay. So now he kind of like attached them to different muscles so they have something to do.

Okay. and I really don't experience any more. Well, good. Pain in my arm. So when you, you woke up and then her brother told you. Yeah. And in what point, like in those two weeks did you kind of start like realizing it? Like, I guess kind of like, because were you on like the medicines the whole time?

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In the whole two weeks, my surgeries were obviously like spread out on different days. I had like rehab people coming to my room every day like therapists like all sorts of people like getting me to do different stuff to like move like take my first steps again like it took me like a whole week to like fully get out of bed and step up and like stand for the first time so like that was weird honestly when I was in the hospital I really not that I thought about it every day but it never like registered. in my head, like, okay, she's actually gone until, like, I came home. Yeah. So I was in the hospital for two weeks, and then I came home to where I live in Pennsylvania, and I stayed in, like, an inpatient rehab there for a week. When I came home from there, that's when I was, like, like, she's gone. Like, she's not here anymore.

Like, that's when it, like, actually kind of. at me like I'll never like all these things that I'd never get to do with her again or never get to experience with her again when I was like in the hospital I feel like it was more so just like and still to this day like very much just like a guilt like I feel guilty that like I'm still here and she doesn't get to be or like I don't know it's just it's hard to explain but it's very much just like, I feel bad. Yeah. And there's, I think she.

Yeah, and there's so many different emotions around it too. You know, it's like, I mean, like, you guys like switch drivers. So it's like there's that in your head. And then it's like you knew that you guys were going to like you talked about stopping. But then you did like it's like all these things of like, but like what if? What if we stop sooner? What if we didn't change driver? And I feel like when you play all that in your head, it's like a form of torture almost.

And it gives you that feeling of guilt. but as much as like our brains like to do that, we can't do that. And I know that's so much easier said than done, but like it's what drives us insane. And it's like I think that it makes it almost impossible to move forward and fully accept like the way things happen, even though they're so screwed up. Like if we keep kind of self-blaming or like thinking about the what ifs because it's like, well, we can't do anything. And it's horrible and it's heartbreaking. You know, and it's honestly terrifying because it goes to show how you could have all these plans for things and how in just the matter of seconds it's gone. Yeah.

They taken from you. Life is just insanely short and like very unfair. Very fragile. Like, yeah, you don't even think about it. It can change at any second. Like she had so many plans for her future and all these dreams and goals. And it's like it's not fair that like now she doesn't get to do. any of that.

Right. But like there's nothing that anyone could do about it, but now everyone's just kind of trying to, I'm trying also to like think very positively about it and in a way that she would. And I know like she wouldn't want us all to be sad about it like dwelling all the time. Like she'd want us to be happy and move forward and. Yeah. Kind of like live our lives for like through her. That's kind of like what I've been doing.

Yeah. Did they tell you, um, in the accident, did they say what it was? Um, or so it was the impact from the guardrail. Okay. So she, it got both of you. Yeah. So we both, um, got it. Like, yeah.

Yeah, it was like the impact from that like coming through. Just yeah. Yeah. So. And the, like, Like, the worst part about it is if it was just installed correctly and the, like, state of Ohio, like, had someone properly put it together or install it correctly, it would have never done that. So it was definitely, like, a malfunction type of thing on that. Wow. Were you able to, like, is there anything that can be done about that, like, as far as, like.

Like, legally? Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying. Okay. I was going to say, I mean, not that that fixes anything or brings. anything back but I mean like it took someone's life yeah and both her family and mine are working okay good yeah um unfortunately it's a long process yeah right sure um but like it the thing is too

is like it's a prevention method like it goes to show why yeah it's so important accidents still to the stay keep happening in the same spot and people like still keep losing their lives and it's like it's it's not fair like right there's no reason why Right. Like that should happen ever. Right. Like what's it there for if it's not? Yeah. And then I think too it's it's it was so hard on you because it's like you are going through that. Like you just lost someone that was like your close friend. And then on top of it, you're adjusting to this new way of living without having both of your hands. It would definitely like she was the person that I came to with like any problems. So then it was like losing that. And then it's like I have this new thing that it's like. so weird and such a different adjustment. Like there's so many things like not that I can't do but like I do so differently. And like there are some things that I still like can't do like normal things like put my hair up in a ponytail. Like I have no idea how to do that.

And it's just like silly things that like you'd never think about. But like and that I definitely took for granted before. but now it's like I wish I could put my hair up in a ponytail like I miss it so much I'm like so over it so this happened what year was it on this past December oh so this is like yeah very fresh yeah and so like because I was going to ask you like as far as like your mental health has gone have you how have you been like since everything has happened like did you feel like you went through like waves and different periods of things I feel like it definitely goes through like waves Like I was in therapy after it and then I was kind of not really liking my therapist and I was like, I can do it without therapy.

Like he hasn't been helping. Yeah. And I got it. Right. And then it was just very like a dark time for me. So I got back into therapy recently and it's been helping a lot more. Did you find a new therapist? Yeah.

I found a new therapist. I really like her. And it definitely is helping. a lot, but it's definitely not something that, like, you can do on your own. Like, thankfully, my family is very, like, supportive. And I have a lot of friends that are very helpful and supportive because if I didn't have that, like, right. Yeah. There's no way, like, I could do half of the things that, like, I've done or have been doing. So, I mean, just from an outside perspective, looking in, like, you seem like a very strong person. Honestly, like, I feel like

you hold yourself together very well. especially with it being so recent. And obviously, like, that's not to say you don't have days that are harder than other days, you know? And I think everything in life is waves. And some people, you know, every human handles things differently. You know, everybody handles trauma differently and it affects us all different. But all we can do is, like, do our best to help ourselves, you know. And I'm sure there's going to be times where you're just, like, so frustrated and so angry.

And, like, you have those guilty feelings and you have those, like, what you said of the feelings of, like, well, like, why does it? and she gets to be here, but I do. And I feel like that those things might never fully go away. But it's almost like, like you said, it's like that's when you have to turn back to the other side of the brain and be like, but what can I, I am here? So what can I do to like make the best of it and kind of live in her honor? And like, and I think, you know, by you, in my opinion, it says so much that like this soon after you're ready to come on a platform.

Yeah. And like talk about it. Like, because you have. haven't had that much time to really process. It takes us a long time to like process trauma sometimes. I'm like still not even technically fully healed from everything. Yeah. So I do think but I just know like I don't want this to have to happen to anyone else. So like me telling this like gets that to not help into anyone else or it gets them to maybe live their lives a little bit more. Yeah. And like know that life is short, like making memories, like, with the people that you love, like, is worth it

100% all the time always because, like, even though she wasn't my best friend for 10 years, like the two years that we were best friends, like we did so much together because it was just we, why not? Yeah. We just had that, why not feeling like whatever, just do it. And we'll never be this young again once. So it's like just make those memories while you can. Like you never know. Right. When you like you'll not be able to or you'll not get to. So it's like don't try to like miss out on things. Yeah. It's like another big thing like I've like learned to. And I do definitely still have like really bad or hard days and stuff. But I try to very much like think positively about it and like it is like a good thing that like I'm still here and like it's a great thing and like

I could have had so much worse happen to me like yes it is horrible that like I lost my hand and I'll never have it back but like I'm able to walk I'm able to talk like I'm able to drive I can do like so many things that like so many other people that have been in like just as bad traumatic things like can't do. So like there are so many like positives and things and ways to like look at your life. Like I don't know. Like I just feel like when you take when you're so much more grateful for everything, it's life gets a little better. Better. Yeah. And you have a different perspective. And I think too like that being said, there's so many different parts of like what you've been through that I feel like people could resonate with like whether it's, you know, having something

happen to them that kind of changes their life and changes the way that, you know, they can or cannot do things any longer or if they've lost someone and they hold that feeling of guilt. It's like there's so many different parts of just this single experience in your life that I feel like just by sharing it. Like I always say like obviously it helps people not feel alone, but it's not just like one thing. It's not just because of like what happened. It's like the moving parts during and after that like I feel like you feel and you go through

and you have to kind of work through mentally that a lot of people could relate to in so many different ways, you know, and would appreciate you having such. Like, I feel like you do have such a strong, positive mindset around it, you know, and that's important. It's hard to have that. And I was going to ask you, too, are you still in contact with her family? Yeah. Okay. I do still talk to them. Yeah, pretty, I would say, like, definitely every other week. Yeah, that's good. Pretty often. They made, like, a clothing brand in honor of her since, like, we wanted to do that.

So, like, that's what I'm wearing today. Oh, I love that. Because, like, 4-4-4 was her thing. So this is, like, the 4-4 shirt. They have it on, like, a bunch of different things. There's so many different. Yeah, you have to. Do they have links and stuff?

Yeah. Because we could put that in the description. Yeah. I'll send you the link. Yes. Oh, that's amazing. So, yeah, this is, like, my favorite shirt. we made it like inspired by one of our favorite like bands t-shirts um they gave us like the approval

to make it they were like of course honestly do that um but so i talk to them often like about that and everything and stuff i don't like other than that i just like go to like a lot of like doctor's appointments now and like working on like getting like prosthetics and stuff um it's been like a whole new world with that because in like the amputee world like one out of every 10 amputees is like an arm okay the rest are like legs yeah so it's very rare like every doctor i see is like never seen this before or like i've only met like two other patients like this i'm like okay like i'm part of like an amputee support group of like 30 people i'm the only person with an arm Wow.

So it's sometimes hard. Like I feel like alone or lonely. I'm like who can I even talk to. But I've met like people through like social media and things like that. And thankfully my support group is like sending me to a convention in like two weeks. So I'm hoping to meet like a lot more people there. And that's important. I think they will be fun.

Right. And like having having the support and feeling like you're not alone, even if it's new people that you meet is one of the most important things that you can do. It's all about community, you know, and being able to have those outlets. Like if you're feeling a certain way, you know, you can have your best friends and your family, but sometimes it takes somebody that has directly experienced something similar to really make you feel heard and understood and like, you know, they get it. And then you said that you were, so you're having the nerve pain, right?

Yeah. So then they just recently did a surgery and that helped so far. So that helped and that's been doing well. Okay, good. Other than that, I don't really have any pain. Other than my ribs and stuff are still healing. So, like, they're still pretty sore when I like do stuff. And your scars, like, they look good to me. Like, on your face, like, I feel like, I mean, like, obviously, like, I see that you have scars, but they're like, I don't know.

Like, they're not bad at all, I feel like. Thank you. I think they look good. Pretty badass. Bad as me. Thank you. This one's kind of, like, in the shape of, like, a half a heart. Yeah.

If you like look at it. Yeah. So I like to say it's like a heart from her. Right. Yeah. So I think it's cute. I like it. And if like, you know, they have so many things now too that if like down there, if you

decided you, I think they can do like laser treatments and stuff like that to fade scars. You know what I mean? Or you keep it if you want to keep it. Whatever you want. You know what I mean? I've always had like a bunch of scars and like I had this scar on my forehead when I was like two. Yeah. So I'm like whatever I'm used to it.

Right. So. And yeah. And honestly, it's. It's all part of our story. And, you know, this is just like our outside shell. Yeah. Like, you know what I mean?

Like, in the most important thing is your health and that you're, you know, alive and well. And that's what's so important about everything. And then as far as the prosthetics go, have you had any luck with, like, finding? So I have one currently. Okay. And it's a hook. Okay. So it kind of goes on my arm.

And I have, like, a whole strap that goes over here. Okay. And when I move my shoulders forward, the hook opens like this and then closes. Has that been like a lot more helpful? Like do you, no, you don't care for it? I don't really care for it, honestly. Right. Like I almost feel like it would be more like to think about than if you just like.

I use it for sure and try to like do my activities and stuff like doing it because obviously I want to try it out and like see if it's helpful because I would. I want the extra like assistance when I'm doing things, but it just doesn't give the type of help that I'm looking for. Yeah. Are they like making anything kind of newer? So they have like robotic hands obviously that like move in a crazy way. They actually put electrodes on the inside that pick up your nerve signals. And that's how it moves. Yeah. That's crazy. So I want one of those. but it's like a whole thing.

Like I'm still new. Okay. I have to like get used to the hook prosthetic first and using it because a robotic hand is like 15 pounds. Ah. And my arm is very weak still. Okay. So it's kind of like steps that you have to go through. Okay.

So I just kind of have to like get used to it and practice using it and just like honestly work. go to the gym or just like that would be so cool though like if something like that could work out because then it's like you have that function back in a way um yeah because i feel like that that would definitely be better than the hook yeah because it's definitely more functional okay um i like the look of it more too because it like not that they look like an actual hand they're usually like like black yeah something but um and they look like like a whole like robotic like it's It looks like a robot thing. Like, I don't know.

It's cool. It looks like Iron Man kind of thing. But I'm excited, hopefully. Yeah. They said, like, maybe within like six months. Okay. That could be something. Yeah, that would be really, really cool.

Yeah. For sure. But no, I mean, like I said, I, you know, I, I just can't believe how recent it all is. And like, I just feel like, and like I said, I can't express enough because I've seen, you know, I've talked to a lot of people in the show that are, like, very new in their recovery. journey and then very, very deep in. And once again, people handle things in all different types of ways. But like I can't express it enough. I feel like the courage that it takes to come on here and just lay it all out there and be like, this is what I went through. And keep yourself kind of like

together, you know, is like it says a lot about you. And it says a lot. I think that you even right now you were wanting to talk about it. Because I think sometimes. too it's like something that comes over time and you're like oh I guess like I'll talk about this but like I feel like in my opinion in a way it could be like therapeutic for you yeah to be like okay like I like yeah I go to therapy and it's obviously it's kind of like it's obvious something happened to me because like you it's like a reminder your arms a reminder in a way and like but I don't think it's a bad thing like I think that it's like you turn these things into the most positive that you can and it reminds you constantly of like, like you said, like the things that you do have and the things that you

can be grateful for, which is like, I feel like it can be very easily lost in translation. When you're just like, you know, when we're going through the motions of life, life is quick, life is fast. Like we sometimes forget. And like you said, take little things for granted, like putting our hair up and things like that. And it's like for a moment when something happens to us that is very serious. We lose somebody or we lose some sort of ability on our own.

It's kind of like the world stops. Yeah. And you're like, wait a second, like, it's, the world is a lot different than if you're just like kind of going when your wheels are just like nonstop. Yeah. So it gives you a different perspective. But I think that it's important to have that perspective, obviously, not, not in that kind of, you know, situation. But it gives you a very different perspective on life. And I think helps you be, you know, helps you relate to all different types of people that have been through something.

I feel like I definitely am never. glad that something like this happened, but I'm glad, like, I don't take, like, anything for granted anymore. Like, I'm glad that I was not taught, like, a lesson, but I guess essentially is, like, taught a lesson and, like. Right. I know. It's, like, how do you really word it?

You can't, like, word it, right? I don't know how to word it in the best way possible, but, like, I don't know. I think it was, like, a good thing. And like definitely now like I spend a lot more time with people or I spend a lot more time with my family than I did or I don't know. I just I like to travel more. I like to do more things that actually make me happy or I think it just all comes down to that perspective. Like it changes it. It changes your life.

And like obviously it changes your life in negative ways. But it also can change your life going forward and a. positive way to make you like realize new things. And like I said, spread awareness about so many different parts of your story that I think could just help people. Because, you know, accidents and losing people that are close to us and everything in between, they're very common. You know, they're dark and they're negative and there's horrible and sad and heartbreaking. So I think that it's something that like we don't always want to talk about, but it happens and it's scary. And it's a good reminder for people to just like slow.

down a little and remember how precious and fragile and short life can be and that you just need to like like you said like just kind of like pause and take it in and like spend time with the people you care about because you really don't know she can change so fast and it's terrifying yeah it's really really scary it is unfortunately it happens every day yep to people like accidents happen literally every single day so just slow down enjoy life like you You'll get there when you get there. Like, it's never, it's never that big of a hurry or a rush or an emergency or, you know. Yeah.

It's always just, just calm down, slow down, and spend time with the people that you love. And do things that actually, like, make you happy and make yourself happy. Like, because that's all that matters at the end of the day, I feel like. I agree. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. You did amazing, seriously.

Yeah. And honestly, thank you so much for driving out here and coming. It means a lot to me. You did such a good job. Thank you. Really, you should be proud of yourself. How do you feel? Do you feel better?

Yeah. Okay, good.