We're All Insane - Hit and Run Over 3 Times

Episode Date: November 3, 2025

#foryou #podcast On May 21st, 2018, Naseem’s life changed forever when she was hit and then run over three times by a car. What could have been the end became the beginning of a remarkable journey of healing, transformation, and purpose. Now, Naseem celebrates that day each year as Unbreakable Day, a reminder of her decision to turn unimaginable pain into empowerment. Her book, “The Unexpected Benefits of Being Run Over,” and her work as a speaker help others find meaning, growth, and strength in their own experiences of trauma. Naseem's Links: Website: https://naseemrochette.com/ Book: https://www.amazon.com/Unexpected-Benefits-Being-Run-Over/dp/B0BW3LK86X/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1678558072&sr=8-1 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/naseemrochette?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app 00:00:00 What happens psychologically when you face death and survive? 00:01:03 Why do near-death experiences completely change how people view life? 00:02:14 What does it feel like to realize you might die — and make peace with it? 00:03:28 Why do people only appreciate life once they almost lose it? 00:04:40 How can trauma reveal what actually matters most in life? 00:06:07 Why is accepting help so hard for people who are usually independent? 00:07:21 How does vulnerability become a strength after tragedy? 00:08:36 What can the Japanese art of kintsugi teach us about healing from pain? 00:09:52 How do people rebuild confidence and identity after trauma? 00:11:03 Why do small acts of kindness feel so powerful during recovery? 00:12:19 How can sharing your story help others heal too? 00:13:42 Why is perfectionism often a mask for pain or control issues? 00:14:58 How does social media make it harder to show our real struggles? 00:16:15 What does it mean to “relearn yourself” after surviving the impossible? 00:18:07 How can letting others help become an act of strength? 00:19:43 Why does slowing down feel like weakness for high-achievers? 00:21:02 How can reframing pain as purpose transform your healing journey? 00:22:28 What does it mean to turn scars into gold, like kintsugi art? 00:23:44 How does openness and community speed up emotional recovery? 00:25:12 Why do some people disappear during your hardest moments? 00:26:30 How can understanding others’ limitations bring peace instead of anger? 00:28:10 What happens when the person who hurt you never apologizes? 00:30:02 How can therapy and medication support true emotional healing? 00:31:45 How does gratitude shift your mindset after trauma? 00:33:18 How can rewriting your story turn victimhood into empowerment? 00:35:01 What does it mean to forgive without closure? 00:37:10 How can giving grace to people who failed you set you free? 00:39:05 Why is vulnerability actually a form of strength? 00:41:27 How can self-awareness and reframing thoughts rebuild confidence? 00:44:02 What does it mean to live every day as a second chance? Topics: Car Accident, Survivor, Hit and Run, Near Death If you have a unique story you'd like to share on the podcast, please fill out this form: https://forms.gle/ZiHgdoK4PLRAddiB9 or send an email to [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey guys, it's me DeVora. I just dropped an all new bonus episode inside my new subscription channel, We're All Insane Plus. This week's bonus episode is called My Brain was slipping into my spine. Listen now by subscribing to We're All Insane Plus inside your Spotify or Apple Podcasts app or go to we're all insane.com. Hi everyone. My name is Nassim Rochette and on May 21st, 2018, I was hit and run over by a car three times. The car hit me, drove over me, reversed over me, and then drove over me again, and I was pinned underneath the car. All while my husband was watching, actually. I was in a pedestrian crosswalk crossing the street to him.

Crazy. Yeah. And incredible that you're here and well and alive. I have so many questions already, but I'll wait. I know there's so many places to go. Yes. And to start, yeah, literally. Why don't I, I start with the day.

Start with the day, yeah. You know, it was actually an amazing day, you know, and I still smile when I think about that day because, you know, I woke up. It was a Monday morning and, you know, I was feeling good about myself. I was feeling skinny, which, you know, always plays into my morning routine. I had a work meeting in New York City. I live in New Jersey. You know, my kids were all great. They were 9, 11, and 13.

Like, life was feeling good. I had just started a new job at Microsoft. I was a few months in. Life was aligning. And I went to New York, had a great day of meetings, took an early train home to go out to dinner with my kids and my husband and a babysitter who actually started that. day and it was such a beautiful day out that I decided to walk home halfway and you know ask my

husband to pick me up before we got to this hilly part of where I live because I'm short and I used to always wear like five inch heels. I love it. So I see my husband across the street and he's parked catty corner to me but it's in front of our kids middle school so I didn't want to be rude and just j-walk across the street. So I said, hold on. I went to a first crosswalk, got in the crosswalk, successfully crossed. And then I was in the middle of the second crosswalk. He was 10, 15 feet away from me when I saw a car turn and come towards me.

And I was in the middle of the crosswalk. You know, I yelled and the car stopped, but it hit me. But the car stopped. And, you know, I was having such a good day that I was actually standing in there with the car against me thinking, I can't believe she's hitting me today. I'm having this great day. And I was thinking, oh, no, I'm going to be black and blue and I'm going to be late for dinner. But really, you know, I wasn't worried because I was standing. I was fine. And I actually thought to myself, well, you know, got hit by a car. Great cocktail party story. Yeah. So when you were hit the first time, you didn't go down? I was standing. Okay. Do you know how fast they were going? It couldn't have been very fast.

Got it. Okay. Maybe 15, 20. It was a residential, you know, by the school. And I'm assuming you had the right away. Yes, I was a pedestrian crosswalk. Got it. So, you know, so she stopped.

Everything seemed okay. And then she accelerated. And that's when I hit the hood and then, you know, fell backwards onto the roadway. and my husband said it was like, you know, monster truck driving over me. And then she reversed over me. And, you know, during these moments, everything is in slow motion, right? You know, and I was actually fully conscious throughout this. So I remember, you know, every second of it.

And, you know, while this is happening, so the first time she ran me over, you know, I was wiggling trying to get out from under the car. And, you know, I was screaming. My husband was screaming. Other witnesses were screaming. And then the second time when she reversed over me, that's where my thoughts really changed. And I thought, something is wrong. You know, this is going on too long.

Something isn't right here. And I started to have those end of life thoughts, you know, of I'm going to die. And I say I wasn't 99% sure. I was 100% sure I was going to die. And I started reflecting on my life. And, you know, I mentioned that I was happy that day. I should also mention that for me to wake up and feel happy like that, that in itself was a victory in my life because I was such a shy, insecure, awkward teenager. You know, even young adult, you know, I say it probably took me about,

20, 25 years for me to be comfortable with who I was. Because I grew up in a town where we were one of the only Indian families. I didn't want to be different. I didn't want to look different and really struggled with who I was and was really, really insecure. And then, you know, so probably by my mid-20s, I was finally comfortable with who I was. But it took many, many more years before I liked who I was. And on this day, I was 47 years old, and I liked who I was. And I liked my life. And I didn't want it to end. And as I started reflecting, I thought, you know what, it's been a good life.

And I don't want it to end, but I've had fun. You know, my kids know I love them. And I travel a lot for work. And I always used to get on planes and think, oh, I should write the kid's letter. And I never wrote the kid's letter. And I was, you know, in that moment, I was thinking, why didn't I write them letters? But as I reflected on the vacations and the time we spent together, I've always been a working mom, but I've also always been present when I'm with them. So we've had so many great times.

And I thought, you know what, even if I'm not there when they graduate, when they get married, and all these future moments, they know, they know who I am, they know how much I love them. And, you know, that brought me a lot of comfort and a lot of peace. And I didn't want to leave them. Right. But, you know, I thought, okay, they know. Yeah. Then I realized they know, nobody else knows. You know, I wasn't telling everyone else in my life that made an impact how special they were.

You know, I wasn't, you know, acknowledging, you know, the small moments, the things that really just make relationships special. I didn't appreciate all the time. And I thought, you know, I didn't appreciate all the time. And I didn't tell people all of the wonderful. impacts they've had on my life. And now they'll never know. And that I felt a lot of regret for. You know, I didn't, I didn't say everything I needed to say to people outside of my kids. I'll tell you. And I, you know, I had no thoughts about my career or did I make an impact on the world. I just thought about the people in my, in my life. And, you know, I was having those thoughts

and then it's actually around then. And it was like 20 minutes of conversation. of my head in a matter of seconds. And then the car went forward and drove over me a third time. And I should say the car drove over my legs, over my chest, and over my head and neck. The car drove, you know, actually over my head and neck. And the third time it drove over me. I was, you know, I was kind of back in the moment, you know, seeing the underside of the feeling the gravel, hearing the screams. And I was done. I was ready to let go. I had my final thoughts and I was ready to let go and then the car stopped. So a quick question. Sure. That's first of all, that's like, that's heavy. And on top of it all, it's like,

I feel like it's one thing to be faced with those thoughts and basically accepting, okay, this is it, I'm going to die without my control at all. But then on top of it, it's happening in such a dramatic way, which is terrifying. And then I can't imagine your husband. I mean, that is something horrifying. And it was actually, you know, hearing his screams in some ways kept me grounded, but hearing his screams also told me I was dying. This is bad. Yeah. This is bad. During when this was happening, do you remember if you felt any pain? I didn't feel any pain until the car stopped. Okay. So once the car stopped, you know, I was laying under the car.

Luckily, when the car stopped, I wasn't under a tire. I was under the middle of the car. I mean, I was still pinned under the car, but, you know, not with the tire. When she, it was a woman driving? It was a woman. So when she went back over you, she didn't, she just stopped right over top of you, basically. Yes. That was the third time when she was going forward over me.

So I was pinned underneath the car and, you know, I actually actually. started, you know, that's when I started feeling pain. And to be honest, I was done. Like, I was trying to close my eyes and let go. But there were people around trying to talk to me. In fact, they were trying to talk to me and the driver was just screaming in this tantrum that they couldn't even talk to me. They had to move her away because, you know, she was just like a child having a tantrum with no regard for me. And, you know, so, so luckily this, you know, these biceps, standers were trying to keep me in the moment. And I think they, you know, maybe in some ways, they kind of kept me alive. You know, they were asking me. And I remember, I think I said to

them, you're giving me busy work, you know, asking me these questions. And that's when the pain started. And that's when I started to come back to reality. And I realized, you know, I was in this pool of blood that was just growing and growing. It was like this, this river flowing around me. And all I could feel was, you know, rough gravel. And I, you know, And I didn't know if my face was ripped off. And, you know, I couldn't move my body. I couldn't move my body at all. I could wringle my fingers and my toes.

So I thought, you know, it probably means I'm not paralyzed. But I had no idea the extent of the injuries. And then, you know, I mentioned earlier that I had woken up that morning, you know, gone into the city. So that pre-accident, that woman that woke up that morning, she was like a master multitasker. You know, always a working mom, you know, I got a second master's degree, you know, as a mom, working full time. Like, I juggled and I did it really well. You know, in fact, I juggled so well.

I almost made it look easy. Like, you know, and I'll tell you more about that in a little while. But, you know, I was used to being in control. Yeah. I was, you know, I was always, I worked very hard to be in control or look like I was in control. So when I was under the car, you know, and I started to. realized that I was alive, that control freak came back. And I was like, honey, do you have my purse? Do you have my iPhone? Do you have all my things? Yes, I know. I started worrying about that.

You know, once I knew I was, I was alive. I didn't want to lose, you know, I didn't want to lose my phone. I started worrying about my shoes. I had my favorite shoes on. I was like, oh no. Right. Like the things that like are life and death, that's what that's for the brain goes. I feel like, too, that might be in a way. I mean, I don't know. But. like a way for you to almost keep yourself calm. Like let me worry about like these little things, you know, and act like everything's kind of normal in a way. I think that is a great insight.

Okay. Yeah. I mean, you know, it was actually so ridiculous. I was even worried I was wearing a skirt that day. I was thinking, oh my God, is my ass showing to all of the firemen and policemen in South Orange? You know, I'm like wearing cute underwear today. You know, all these, like, ridiculous things that I didn't really need to worry about

while I'm pinned under a car and can't move. but that's where my thoughts were going. And I think it was probably comforting myself. So finally, they, you know, they took the car off me. They had to get airbags to lift it off because it was on a hill. And they put me on a long board. And actually the first thing I said to the, you know, the paramedics was, you know, I'm vain. Is my face ripped off?

You know, because I really felt like it was gone. And they said, no, it's not ripped off, you know, which. I was very thankful about, but, you know, still I couldn't move my body. And they put me on the long board and took me to the nearest trauma center, which, you know, of course, I was like, well, do I need to go to the trauma center? Can't I go to this other more luxurious hospital? And they were like, no, yeah, you need to go to the trauma center. So they took me to the trauma center.

You know, my husband had the very, very hard job of having to tell my kids, you know, calling my daughter. telling her I was in an accident, calling my parents, my brother, and not having any information. Right. You know, just that I watch her get run over. So, so my, you know, my kids and my husband came to the hospital, and they actually spent about 90 minutes having no idea what happened to me. I know it was some of the scariest moments for my, you know, my kids' lives. But while they were pacing around, you know, I was getting test after a time.

test at, you know, x-rays, you know, scans, and much to everyone's surprise, you know, and I was conscious, so they would ask me what happened. I was run over three times. The tires ran over me five times. So, you know, everyone was horrified and scared and in disbelief because I did not break a single bone. Wow. I had no, no skull fracture, no internal bleeding. I mean, I had lots of issues, like lots and lots of issues, but no broken bones. Crazy. I know. What kind of car was it?

It was an SUV. It was a white SUV, yeah. And that is wild. And like the amount of areas it ran over you, too. I know. There's actually a week after the accident, because, you know, after it happened, I thought, how could this really have happened? Right.

Yeah, it's such a freak. And, you know, I thought the car. went over my head and neck and, you know, here and there. And, you know, my husband saw it all and other people saw it. But how could it really happen? And I'm alive. I'm Anna Garcia, host of True Crime News, the podcast. Every week, we bring you in-depth coverage on cases making headlines, as well as those

that go under the radar. Tune in for murders that defy explanation, mystery seeking exploration, and shocking secrets that will leave you breathless. Each week, we honor the victims by going beyond the salacious in our search. for justice. Crime never stops, and neither do we. Listen to true crime news available now wherever you get your podcasts. I really just kept questioning, you know, my sanity. And I'm sure, too, at some degree you're thinking, why did it happen so many times? It's so scary. It is. And it's one of those things, too, where I feel like people will think this can't happen to me or, like, you know,

you're taking your safety measures, like, and it didn't matter. No. In that case. At all. And actually, I think, you know, just on that note, when it did happen, that first night, we were reading some posts of neighbors. Nobody knew that it was me. They just knew somebody that got run over, you know, because there were lots of police and helicopters and things like that. And there was all the skepticism putting the pedestrian at the wrong, oh, she must have been on her phone. She must have been distracted. You know, this. And, and that, you know, and I think, and, you know, I wasn't on my phone and I was in a pedestrian crosswalk, so there was none of that. But I think, you know, just as you noted, people want to feel like I must have done something wrong for that to happen. There has to be a reason. There has to be a reason. It can't just happen. Well, you're here to tell everybody, yes, it can. And that's life. Yeah. You know. Absolutely. Like, you can have a million eyes and unfortunately still horrible things can happen. Yeah. And, you know, and it's, it's up to us how we,

how we interpret it. Yeah. How we make it through. Absolutely. So, you know, I was saying before, like I went after the accident, I kept thinking, you know, I must be crazy. You know, I'm, that this happened and I survived. And I remember about seven days after you could see all these bruises on my neck. And I remember feeling so happy because I was like, they were the tire. marks. I was like it, you know, and I had a soft spot on my head and I, you know, but I thought like, who believes me if I can barely believe myself? So I always call that my favorite accident picture. Because it was like proof for yourself. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And why do you think that was within yourself that you just couldn't believe it? Well, I think a few things. So first when, you know,

When we found out nothing was broken, the hospital had no reason to admit me. You know, I think they, I think they had reasons, but they weren't going to admit me when nothing was broken. I had to stay in, you know, the ER for several hours because I needed eye surgery and I needed stitches all over my face and my body. But they were doing all of that from the ER. Okay. So, and actually, when it, when they, you know, we found out nothing was broken, I turned to my husband and I said, tell my boss I'll be back to work on Thursday. This was a Monday. Because I said, you know, if nothing's broken and they don't need to keep me in the hospital, you know, I have a strong mind and a positive attitude and I'll just get

back to work in a couple days. Meanwhile, you know, I couldn't walk. I couldn't see, you know, my brain didn't work. So, and I'll tell you more about some of those things in a minute. But when, you know, I was in the hospital and they didn't need me to stay and released me back home, I thought, if I'm not so broken as to need to be in the hospital, I don't deserve, you know, all the kindness that I was getting. So when I got home from the hospital, I have this wonderful community of people that wanted to help me. And they wanted to, and they brought me flowers, and they wanted to drive my kids, and they started a meal train. And oh my gosh, I was so mortified. I'm not somebody that accepted help.

I was a person that, you know, offered and gave the help. And I just felt like everyone looked at me as so weak and broken. And it really, every act of kindness was like a debt in my ledger. I really, I really had a hard time with it. And a couple of things happened early on that actually, I think, really helped change my trajectory of here. So, you know, I came home from the hospital. I couldn't see, you know, I had a very bad concussion. I have a traumatic brain injury.

And I couldn't think I couldn't do simple tasks. You know, I certainly couldn't walk. I couldn't move my arms. You know, I can go on. There's a long list of things that I couldn't do, as you can imagine. However, you know, I could still feel. And during this time, my brother, this first week, week, my brother lost his dog. My brother and I are very close and he really, really, really loved

his dog. And so when he lost his dog, all I could think is I have to cheer my brother up. Meanwhile, he's like, you know, sister, you just got run over three times. Like, don't worry about me. But I still worried about him. And I wanted to help him. And the light bulb, unfortunately, did not go off right away. But it, you know, that planted a seed that, you know, just like I need to help Pam, people probably need to help me. The accident didn't just happen to me. It happened to my husband and my kids and to everyone that loved me and depended on me. Yeah. And I needed to find a way to let them help me. And I think allow yourself to take that time and give yourself some grace to be like, this was just as traumatic for me mentally as it was physically. Like it seems like you said,

You're just somebody that I feel like it's go, go, go. And stopping makes you feel weak and lower than you are. And which is, it's, I think that that's something a lot of people struggle with. But because it's almost like an identity crisis. You're like, I don't want to, I don't want to slow down. I don't want to sit in my own thoughts. Like, I just want to keep going. But it's almost like it forces you to have to do that because you physically can't do anything else.

You're absolutely right. And actually, you know, I was fortunate that. My doctors, my husband, forced me to see a trauma therapist. And the trauma therapist said the same thing to me. She's like, you know, you have to slow down. You can't, you're not that person that you were. And she also taught me about the art of Kinsugi, where you take a broken piece of pottery. And it's like a Japanese philosophy and art where you take a broken piece of pottery

and you put it back together with a gold inlay. Okay. So it's about celebrating. the journey of the vase and the cracks in the vase make it more beautiful. Yes, I love that. Oh, my God, I loved it too. And it actually gave me a way to, and like I say all this like, you know, like I was enlightened.

This was all a journey. Yeah, right. And it doesn't happen overnight either. It did not happen overnight. But it did give me a way to start thinking about the accident and positioning myself not as a victim, but as, you know, someone who had this in their journey. This accident is part of my journey. And I can talk about it and I can share what's going on and I can let people help by letting them in, but I don't have to be the victim. This is just my journey. In fact, I loved it so

much that I would put glitter on my scars instead of trying to hide them with makeup. Yeah. That's beautiful. I love that. Really. It really helped me. I feel like it's empowering. It was empowering.

It was. And it's actually, you know, we call the anniversary of the accident Unbreakable Day. And it really, the whole idea of Kansugi really helped me acknowledge and celebrate, you know, that breaking, you know, doesn't mean I'm broken. Yeah. And I think having that framework of Kinsugi, recognizing people need to be let in, really enabled me to open up. You know, and not just with my, you know, my family, but with the people that wanted to help me

that I didn't know as well. Sort of like, you know, the moms I'd meet on the soccer field or, you know, people from drop off. And, you know, I lived in my town for several years, the neighbors, people that I would talk to, you know, maybe regularly, but never really know. Yeah. They would come over and bring, you know, flowers or dinner or want to check on me. And where in the beginning I would tell my kids or my husband to just, you know, tell them

I'm sleeping. I didn't want to see anybody. I didn't want them to see me, you know, all battered and bruised and broken. I would start letting them in and I would start telling them what was going on. And I would be telling them, but I wasn't complaining. You know, it was this is where I am. is where I'm, you know, I'm at now and, you know, my progress and where I hope to go. And they would start sharing what was going on in their lives, you know, their struggles,

you know, their maybe lost jobs or illnesses or things that they were navigating through that I had never known about. Right. It creates, like, this community for you. It really did. It really did. It just made the relationships so much more meaningful, you know, so much, so much stronger. And what was also really nice is that once I started to tell people where I am, you know, I could celebrate them when I made progress.

Like, you know, I often give this example. Like if I said to you, Devorah, I showered today. You know, you certainly wouldn't be impressed. Right. I'm glad you're clean. Yeah. But if you knew that I couldn't walk up the stairs or bare body on, you know, my, you know, battered body. their water on my battered body or lift my arm because of the nerve damage.

Like, if you didn't know all those things, you wouldn't be impressed at a shower. Right. But knowing all those things, you know what a huge first milestone that was. You know, like, zipping up my sweatshirt doesn't seem like a big deal. But when I couldn't even lift my arm, sipping up a sweatshirt, it's a really big deal. Right. And that was a really wonderful lesson that I learned about. just sharing the journey. And I found actually that not only, you know, was so rewarding personally,

it's really helped me professionally too. You know, it's helped me, you know, being more vulnerable with my colleagues at work, you know, talking about, you know, the tough stuff has, has given us the opportunity to know each other better and to celebrate more. Yeah, I think communication and Relatability, it's so important because I always say we live in this world where it's so easy to just keep going. And I think for a lot of people, it feels better for a while that way, because you don't have to face the negatives in life. You don't have to think about, well, what do I need to work on? What do I need to do? You know, you can just keep it going. And I think in a way that makes you feel strong and powerful and like, oh, I'm a, I grind it out. I'm a hard worker. And I think there's not enough

people that find the balance in both, you know, to give yourself that time and that grace and know that it's also healthy to take that downtime, you know, and allow yourself to slow down, mentally, physically, everything. You are 100% correct. In fact, I think there's even one more drawback. So I mentioned earlier that I was so good at juggling. I made it make easy. The reason I said that was because after the accident, so that pre-accident me, you know, was

you know, always juggling, never showing, you know, any kind of weakness or crack. And, you know, a woman I know said to me, you know, she said, you were a really unsympathetic character. I made it look so easy I didn't let people in. And I am so thankful that I, that has changed. You know, and I think right now, actually, in this age of social media, too, there are so many people that work so hard to show the perfect facade, not realizing that when they're not showing their cracks,

you know, they're less relatable. And also it's a ripple effect. Yeah. You know, I don't think people realize that. It is when you're watching people who appear so perfect, it makes you feel like, well, what's wrong with me? I have to be perfect. Or, you know, maybe I should perceive myself that way.

so that other people think that. And then it's just this ongoing loop, which isn't reality, you know, and we can have these really good days, but they come and they go. We can have good days and bad days. You know, they're both there. I think that it's pretty obvious that you had a huge change within yourself after the accident because I think you were forced to in a way. You know, I feel like if you didn't have to change, why would you want to, you know?

but I guess my question is overall do you feel like it made you a completely different person? I don't know if it made me a completely different person, but I definitely feel lucky for having the experience to grow in all the ways that I did. Okay, yeah. You know, I, so when I was in the hospital, you know, as I mentioned, I woke up feeling good and happy with my life. When I was in the hospital and all the nurses and doctors were getting the results, that I hadn't broken any bones.

They kept saying, you know, you were safe for a reason. You need to pay it forward. And I was like, well, you know, in my mind, I'm like, I can't open my eyes. I can't move. You know, like I don't want this burden of paying it forward. But I also thought, you know, I like my life the way it is. I don't want to drastically change it. And, you know, paying it forward always seems like it must be this big effort.

And, you know, as you said, like I, you know, I, you know, I, you know, I, you know, I, didn't, I didn't completely change, but I did start to think, how do I get incrementally better? Yeah. How do I use this to, you know, have a, you know, have an even, and I was positive before, but, you know, I was closed in many ways. How do I just be better? And I didn't know what that looked like. And, you know, again, like, let me say this, this didn't all happen as, you know,

as an epiphany the day after the accident, you know, for weeks after the accident, I was waking up every morning and crying. Absolutely. It's frustrating. It is. I was crying because, you know, physically I was in pain and mentally my mind didn't work. Like I could not do the simplest of tasks. And, you know, I thought, how am I ever going to go back to work?

I'm a problem solver. That's what I do for my job. How am I going to problem solve if I can't fill out a camp form if I can't do basic? Thanks, Kitty. She's like, let me skeach this for you. Right. No, that makes sense. And, you know, much to my surprise, I've gone back to work, and I can't juggle the chaos

and solve the problems that I used to in some ways. But there are new things that I can do. And there are deeper relationships I have. And actually, my career has been stronger, oddly enough, with the traumatic brain injury, much to my. surprise. But I think a lot of that has to do with, you know, what we talked about in Kinsugi and how we frame, you know, this is our stories, as, you know, and talk to so many people that have been through crazy things. You know, we determine how we tell our story, you know,

whether we're, you know, whether we accept the tough stuff as part of our journey or stay in a victim mentality. And not to say, you know, that the attitude can fix all those tough things, but each day we get a chance to be better than we were the day before if we believe that we own our story and want that outcome. Yeah, absolutely. And how was your husband through all of this? Oh my gosh, he's such a rock. He's very chill. He's always, He's been very chill. And, you know, he actually really turned off his trauma, I think, and just focused on my healing and helping the kids.

You know, and we, you know, we talk about it. He doesn't like to talk about it. But I think all of us, you know, the kids were all really proud that we navigated it. You know, I mentioned that we celebrate the anniversary as Unbreakable Day. Part of that celebration is, you know, thank you. ourselves and recognizing what we've been through. And, you know, and that, you know, tough things do provide growth. And that also, you know, recognizing the people that help us, you know, and then get us through

those moments. I think so often, you know, when we have these really traumatic moments, everyone thinks, oh, we shouldn't talk about it. You know, it was a bad time. Let's not bring it up. I don't want to trigger our memory. But when we don't talk about it and we don't think about it, we don't give ourselves the chance to have learned from it to, you know, recognize that, yes, it was a really tough moment.

But there are ways in which I've grown. There are people that have helped me that deserve, you know, my appreciation for how they showed up. Absolutely. Did he have to go into any therapy for himself or did he kind of just, work through it on his own. You know, he went to my trauma therapist with me a couple of times. Yeah.

And then he just, he's really chill. You know, because it's like, and that's, that even, I'm sure, can speak to people who have witnessed something that's traumatic as well because it can create this form of just PTSD and fear. And I feel like even that isn't always talked about enough. Like the people that witness something so scary happen, you know, and, I mean, that would be scary to see it happened to somebody random that you don't know. So I can only imagine, you know, it being someone he loves and has spent his life with. Well, I think, you know,

I think there are so many other, you know, he was so deeply in it. There were so many other things surrounding that he's able to remember the positive and he's very, he's, he's, he's very skilled at that. Right. You know, I think, candidly, for my kids, there is a lot more trauma around it. You know, I've, you know, said my daughter had to wash the blood out of my hair. You know, that's really traumatic for a 13-year-old. You know, when she sees me with crazy, messy hair, it's a little bit of a trigger. You know, my kids, my 11-year-old at the time, my son, he was 18 now, you know, he didn't want to go to school because he didn't want to leave my side. He was afraid of what would happen. You know, they, they all interpreted in different ways.

And when I asked them about it now, you know, they just focus on, you know, we're so proud of how we've, we've gotten through it. Because it was a really hard couple of years. Yeah. But we decided, you know, like actively decided this was going to be a happy story. Absolutely. We're not letting this ruin our life. No, you can't because, you know, with anything in life, it's going to do one of two things. that's going to build you up or destroy you. You know, and it's kind of both are hard, you know, whatever path. But it just depends on, I think, how you want to take the things that happened to you and either turn them for good or let them eat you up.

Yes. You know, what are your theories for the driver? Oh. I need to hear. So did she get in trouble at all? No. Yes. So I wrote a book.

about all of this. It's called the unexpected benefits of being run over where I talk a lot more about the driver, but I'll give you, I'll give you my couple theories. Please do, because it's just like, it makes no sense. I can't believe. Okay. It makes no sense. So I think that when she first, you know, after she first hit me, you know, she stopped and then accelerated, I think she was trying to flee the scene because she really didn't have car insurance. I think the second time she ran over me. I think she was trying to get back to the pedestrian crosswalk. And I'm guessing the third time she ran over me, she was just trying to get off me. But again, this is, this is what I think. You know, she's never acknowledged the accident or apologized or, um, which is a whole other trauma.

I mean, that is that is horrible. That actually, you know, really set me off. When I first saw the driver after the accident. Because after the accident, I actually felt no ill will to the driver. You know, I mean, yeah, she was throwing a tantrum and didn't seem to care what happened to me. But, you know, she didn't, it wasn't a hit. You know, she didn't mean to run over me three times. You know, she made a lot of bad decisions, but, you know, sometimes in life we panic, you know, so I didn't feel any ill will towards her. And then I saw her at the courthouse. You know, we had gotten a victim's notice to, you know, that she was going to be in the courthouse. So I was there with my husband and my daughter.

And, you know, I've got a cane and I'm bandaged and, you know, bruises all over my face and big sunglasses, you know, and, you know, and they're kind of carrying me, like, you know, helping me walk. And we see her. And there was no acknowledgement. Nothing. Nothing. You know, and I remember just really emotionally breaking that day.

You know, I went home. and lost it. Like started screaming at my kids and, you know, this happy household that we had had was nowhere to be found. I was completely, you know, erratic. You never know, you know, how I was going to react to something or, you know, what mom they were going to see. I mean, you know, the kids that I wanted to be this great mom for, you know, that I felt

in many ways kept me alive under that car was just gone. And there was this just horrible person, you know, reacting without like the love and compassion, you know, that I want to have as a mom. And that moment I was so distraught. It made me realize I can't. I used to think that I can have a strong mind, a good attitude. I can get through this. Realized, you know, I'm in trouble. And that's when I actually started on antidepressants in Nancy.

anxiety. Okay. You know, and that was also the beginning of my recognition, you know, or subconscious recognition that I can't just think my way out of everything. You know, there's an autonomical reaction and, you know, there's a physiological, physiological reaction that I, my good attitude is never alone going to fix. And that's another I think way of you accepting help, you know, just not from a person, but from a medicine. And I think it's absolutely necessary if you, especially going through something like that, but in general, if you find that you need help, take it. You know? A hundred percent. We do it. You know, if I have any pain, I'll take Advil and me. Yeah, exactly.

Right. It's just, it's no different. It's just your brain, you know, and your feelings and emotions. and those are sometimes even harder than physical pain to deal with. The mental changes have been the hardest for me to navigate through. And, you know, also some of those changes have been very rewarding. But the antidepressant, anti-anxiety, I actually will often talk about it because, you know, it helped me. It kept me sane. Yeah. It kept me predictable.

You know, I actually, I tried to go off it. And then went back on and I said, you know, why am I struggling for, you know, sort of a floor that is manageable? Like, why am I letting myself crash when I can have a much better, you know, floor and ceiling that I can handle? Right. And I think, too, you know, that people have a lot of mixed opinions on medicines. Understandably so with everything, you know, it makes sense. But I agree with you. if you find that something helps you, why fix something that's not broken? You know, if you're able to find this manageable place where it allows you to show up better

for yourself and for others, why not? You know? And that's just kind of how I look at it when it comes to things like that. But I, that is terrible that she never said anything. And I think in a way, you know, that's difficult because I think people, would kind of find that as a necessary form of closure. Oh my gosh, yes. Yeah.

Her not acknowledging has really been very painful. Yeah, and it's hard because it's almost like this little missing piece, but it's almost like you have to get to this place within your own healing where you don't need that from that person. And I actually have a theory or a way that I know have managed through it. So in addition to this woman, you know, not acknowledging or saying she's sorry, you know, in traumatic moments, at least I had some preconceived notions about how people, who and how people would show up for me. And, you know, when some people didn't show up for me, you know, the way I thought they would.

And what I have realized since is that we really, there's so much we don't know about the people in our lives. and we don't know what triggers them. You know, my accident was pretty traumatic. I was, you know, a mess physically, so I'm certainly emotionally. Like, I was a different person and a very hard to look at for a long time. And I think for some people, that may have been a trigger. And I've decided, just like with the driver, is that their own defenses kept them You know, their own self-preservation kept them from showing up, kept them from apologizing.

And that's what they needed to do to keep going. Right. And so for the people in my life that maybe didn't show up the way I hope they would, you know, by choosing that perspective, I've also allowed myself to still enjoy all the times and the good memories I've had with them. You know, and not let, they're not showing up at this one moment. moment, taint, you know, sometimes years of, of, you know, love and laughter I've had with them. Yeah, and I think, too, it's a very difficult thing because every human is so different.

And if we, it's very easy for us to think, well, I wouldn't have acted that way or I would have done this. And there might be a handful of other people, you know, that completely agree with you. But then there's these other handful of people that they don't know how. or they just, they can't. First of all, for whatever reason it may be, you know, and sometimes there's not even an exact reason. They just, they panic in situations like that. It makes them too uncomfortable, whatever it might be.

And I think it's very difficult as a human to get to a place where you can give every different type of person that grace. Because, of course, we want to be, I don't want to say selfish, but like when we have people in our lives, we want them to show up. in a way that we would show up for them or a way that we think we would show up for them. And when that doesn't happen, I think it's easy to be like, well, screw you, you know? But we are all on our own journeys. And one of the biggest lessons I think I've learned in the last year is, you know,

you can't expect the world to stop when something happens to you or when your world stops. You know, everyone else keeps going. And while that's no excuse to everybody, you know, everybody should check in. It's, I think in a way it kind of gives you this perspective of, well, just like I can be selfish sometimes, you know, they are too. And that's okay in their own way. It's like you kind of have to accept that everyone has their own life. And your life will never be as important to them as their own. And everyone's not like that. But I think a lot of people are. And I think that for me, that's been something that, you know, when I find myself thinking or getting upset of like,

oh, why didn't they do this or why did they do that? It's just a kind of a nice reminder to be like, okay, well, they're on their own path and their own journey and don't take everything so personally. And you're giving yourself grace when you do that. Because when you hold on to it, it doesn't do you any good. It doesn't. It'll just eat you up and make you upset. Yeah. And, you know, and I think when we reframe it like that, you know, we also, make ourselves feel stronger. Yep. You know, like I talk about letting, you know, also letting people help.

You know, that's something that I learned. I look at accepting help now as actually a dimension of strength. Yeah. Because it's about me and it's about them too. You know, and when you sometimes, for so many of us that are used to, you know, being that type A in control, always doing things, when we recognize that our own actions sometimes are, you know, helping other. and we can reframe it, you know, it's a win-win.

Yeah. And a lot of people don't realize that being vulnerable is so much stronger than not being vulnerable because you're opening yourself up to all these emotions and opening yourself up to being able to get hurt in a sense, you know? Like when we're closed off and we're strong, we're not letting anyone in. We're just like, me against the world. I can do everything, you know? So I think it leads us to more disappointment if we are vulnerable.

but I think it's a way of once again balancing it and figuring it out. How long did it take you to recover fully, would you say, physically? So physically I went back to work after a couple of months, which wasn't the best idea, but I really, you know, I wanted. At least it wasn't that Thursday. No, it wasn't that Thursday. Right. I did take a couple months, not as long as my doctors had wanted me to,

but I really was determined to get back to life. And, you know, I was actually determined to get back to life with this, you know, as this human that was going to be more vulnerable and share and, you know, let people in. And I'll be honest, I got back to work. And I forgot all of that. You know, I tried to be the person I was before. Yeah. But I wasn't that person. I wasn't that person mentally and I wasn't that person physically.

You know, in fact, I, you know, was working in New York. I couldn't cross the street. I was having panic attacks. And when I shared it, and honestly, I had no choice, but to share it, nobody thought of me as less than. I was worried that I wasn't good enough anymore. But nobody looked at me as less than. It was, okay, so you know, if you panic when you cross the street, I'll bring you lunch.

And I needed 18 hours of sleep then. my body was still healing. I couldn't stay awake through the day. Maybe no. Yeah. Actually, it was like 16 hours, not 18. You were like a cat. Yeah. Yes, I was like a cat. And so staying awake all day in the office was nearly impossible. Right. So, you know, my colleagues would sometimes book a conference room for me to go take a nap. No one looked at me as less than. Right. You know, they, they helped me and they also started sharing with me just like people did it personally. and my relationships grew stronger. And, you know, at work, as I had those strong relationships,

we were tackling tougher problems and different problems. And, you know, as I mentioned, it oddly enough helped my career. Absolutely. So what do the butterflies represent? Oh. You know, what I love about butterflies, you know, that saying, if you know, like kind of the ripple effect of a butterfly, I really, you know, I really love that and like to be reminded of that.

Yeah. You know, so one thing I've noticed, you know, talking about my story and just, you know, living with and offering more appreciation is that those little moments really are so impactful. You know, if you're lying getting a coffee, you know, and the person in front of you smiles or you smile, you'd be surprised at what an impact that can have on their day. Oh, yeah. You know, a compliment or holding the door, you know, just those small acts of kindness or appreciation have a really big effect.

They really do. And I started to, you know, one, certainly feel that from under the car, but I also started to notice those things more as I slowed down. So, you know, a lot of my tattoos are things that I don't want to forget, like lessons that I learned during this journey that I just don't want to forget. because, you know, again, I'll say, like, I'm not all of a sudden enlightened. You know, I still, there's so much I've learned. But I'm always healing.

I'm always learning. Yeah. And I don't want to, you know, I was really lucky to survive this and to learn all the things that I learned. I want to live the next, you know, however many, you know, years ahead, you know, with the insight of being that better person. Yeah, and continuing to grow up. No, I had to ask because I saw the shirt, the tattoo, the necklace.

I was like, the butterflies have to represent. something. I love it though. It's a very, you know, just peaceful vibe. And I have a butterfly of a tattoo. I remember my aunt, she's very religious and she told me that she had a word for me and she was like, I can't remember now. It's been years, but since when I got it, but she said, basically whenever you're having problems, just think of yourself as a butterfly, like soaring above all of it. And I just loved that analogy. I think it's so. freeing and peaceful to think of. So that's why I... Oh, no, I love that too. And I also actually love the metamorphosis.

Yeah. You know, just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a beautiful butterfly. Exactly. And then with your book, do you have one book or...? One book? One book. Are you done with books? Well, yes, for now. So I had no intention of writing a book, even though I have a bachelor's in English lit and masters in journalism. Yeah. You know, it's, it's not what I do, you know, as my day job. But,

you know, we, we, I did want to pay it forward. And in the beginning, you know, I would just share the insights and lessons I learned with, you know, my community of friends. We'd have an unbreakable day party. I love that. I love that. You know, that was, that helped us through. And then when COVID happened, we were all in lockdown, I started to feel that the things that I learned it might be helpful for other people as well. And so I actually wrote, there's a, the last section of my book is called The Sermon. And, you know, those are my life lessons, things that I don't want to forget. And, you know, I would have loved to have just sort of put that out in the world. Here, here are my lessons. But I realized that my lessons aren't really as meaningful if you don't know my

story. And so the book makes it more impactful. Yeah, it does. So the book actually talks about, you know, It's a memoir, self-help book, but it delves into my first, you know, transformation or life victory, which was navigating, you know, as a really insecure child. You know, I mean, and when I say really insecure, I mean, really insecure. You know, I tried to take my own life when I was 16. You know, I was really not happy with who I was. You know, I just wanted to look like everyone else being the only day. different looking person, you know, in my town really, you know, really was, was hard,

especially with comments. Like I had, you know, one of my first boyfriend said to me, he said, you know, every guy would think you were so beautiful if you were white. And, you know, like comments like that, which I knew that he didn't mean it quite as horribly as it sounds. It is horrible. It's horrible. You know, it just kept me from, but being comfortable in my own skin. Right. You know, so the memoir talks about, you know, that, you know, me becoming a person I liked. Right.

And then, you know, the second transformation after the accident. And look at you now, you know, to compare it, though, just so it's like you were in this little shell, you know? It's no shell. And now you're just this truly blossomed butterfly, you know? Because you're just so, your energy is just so light and positive. And you do come across as very confident and very competent with who you are. And that's an amazing energy to have. You know, you can feel those things when you walk into a room.

Well, thank you. That's very sweet of you to say. Actually, one of my girlfriend said to me before I went to college, you know, we were talking about, you know, go to college and you kind of reinvent yourself. And she said, you know, if you don't like your. yourself, you know, why should anyone else like you? Right. And I loved, you know, I think that's such an insightful phrase. You know, it took me a long time to like myself. Yeah. It's a good reminder. It's a good reminder. Yeah, because it's, it's so true. They even, you know, even with relationships,

somebody can't give you the love that you can't even give yourself. Yeah. And you deserve all of that love and you deserve all the grace. And we own our story. Yes. You know, and each day, I actually saw this on my Instagram. There was this little cartoon. It was like Snoopy and Charlie Brown. And Charlie Brown says, you only live once. And Snoopy says, you only die once. You live every day.

And I love that. And it's, again, a reminder, like, if you're not happy with the way the story is going, remember, we have the power to reframe it. We choose the words we use about how we talk about the things that happened. Is it part of our journey or are we a victim? You know, are we, you know, being kind to ourselves? You know, are we, you know, using positive language and, you know, building positive energy? That's all up to us, you know.

And I don't want to sound like I'm oversimplifying it. But, you know, in some ways it is, it is simple. I think it's very simple. It's just the fact that it takes time. time to get there. You know, it's a process. I think the first step always is being self-aware and knowing these things and acknowledging it. And then I think once you do, it always is in your head. Once you think of it, you can't really get it out of your head. So then it's just every day kind of reframing it. And I think, too, it's not really about that first initial

thought we have because of course that's going to be our old way of thinking or who we've been for years. But it's almost like having that thought and then correcting it within our own mind. And being like, wait a second, I don't want to be that way anymore. I don't have those thoughts anymore. How can I reframe this? It is so much of just reframing in our own minds. Our minds are so powerful. Oh, I'm so glad you said that because you reminded me.

So it's also having those people around you that help you reframe. Yeah. You know, when I talk about, you know, how I've changed at work. So I worked to Google for a few years. And at Google, you do this thing called a user guide. Okay. You talk about how you like to work with other people. And I remember building my user guide and, you know, thinking, okay, if you worked with me before 2018, this is what I was like.

And then I put this column next to it. And the first things I wrote on it were I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this. And my, you know, one of my best friends said to me, she's like, let's rephrase it. Yeah. And sometimes I need that help too. You know, and then I rephrased it. And, you know, I set it to myself differently. And I interpret it and I feel it and, you know, I am that positive column now.

Yeah. And that's with anything. Yes. I think it's in changing our words that's, I hear that all the time and it's so important. We don't realize that the words that we speak out, it really does have a direct effect on us and those around us. And I think, too, whether it's a person that's reminding us or a book or whatever it might be, those reminders are needed because at the end of the day, we're still human, we're still living

in this crazy world that's not stopping for anyone. It just keeps going. And it can be hard. You know, we have, like I was saying before, we are always going to have days where we might be more down or more sad or kind of fall back a little. But I think it's about just setting ourselves up to get right back up and not stay at that low place. And that's, I think, where the change happens. Yeah. And you know what? Also, letting people in on the journey. Yes. So when you have those tough moments, they can remind you of what you. You have your army around you. Yeah. And it's important. And thankfully, you had that. You know, with your family and then all the people that you let in. And I think that's such a

beautiful thing too, because relationships are so important. It teaches us so much about ourselves and about the ones around us. And I'm sure the people that you did let in and when they were able to open up to you. I'm sure that meant so much to them. And they got to see a different side of you too. You know, like being so closed off, it doesn't allow, I think, our true, authentic selves to shine. And people deserve to see that. You know, it's what's the fun if we keep it? It makes life more rewarding. Yeah, what's the fun if we keep it to ourselves, you know? So you'll have to send me all of your links to everything, your book, everything you want, so that I can put it in the description so people can find it and get it. Thank you. Of course. But I mean, you're, you're

incredible. And I'm so, seriously, and I'm so glad that you are sitting here. Oh, thank you. Beautiful. You would never know. Well, you know, and actually, maybe it's a final point, you never know. Like, no one looks and me and says, wow, she has run over three times. Don't read a book by its cover. Yeah. People have no idea. I have a traumatic, yes. Read a book, judge a book. Don't do either. Buy its cover. Yes. Yeah. You really would never know. No one looks at me and says, wow, she's got a traumatic brain injury. You know, right. She can't, she can't juggle things. So with the traumatic brain injury, do you still have like some aftermath things that you deal with with that? Yeah, I mean, there are, you know, there are, you know, things with how I operate at work and I guess just life in that I can't handle, I can't multitask or juggle like I used to or I can't, you know, this is going to sound crazy, but I can't handle unexpected paperwork.

Okay. You know, I actually don't listen to voicemails. anymore. You know, there's this, this, I have it almost like a panic attack when people put the burden of something that I'm not expecting. Okay. And as strange as it is, a voicemail, like, I worry about what I'm going to hear on the voicemail. I know it's so silly and I can't explain it, but right after the accident, I couldn't listen to voicemails for a couple of months. You know, I can't have music playing on more than one speaker. You know, I can't do lights, flashing lights and sounds. you know, certain exercise classes and certainly, you know, no clubs or concerts or, you know,

so they're all changes that, you know, don't keep me from having a happy life. Yeah. But there are changes because we used to have music playing on every room in our house. You know, my husband and I used to go to concerts regularly. So they're little, you know, they're, I call them little things. There's a new normal, but there's a new normal. Wow. Right.

And once again, it's things that you wouldn't even see or no on the outside. Yeah. Like, you know, I might be out with people from work and they'll say, oh, do you want to go to this, you know, this club or this bar or this, you know, concert? And I, you know, and I have to say no, you know, and also do it in a delicate way where nobody feels that, you know, they've left me out. Yeah. But I physically can't, you know, anymore.

And so I often talk about actually when I start meetings and things at work, I will say, you know, I will share, you know, I have a traumatic brain injury. You know, I can't, you know, where I used to be able to like barge in and ask my question, I'm not as comfortable doing that. Yeah. And I've recognized that people have different styles of communicating. You know, maybe you want to raise your hand. Maybe you don't know where to barge in.

You know, maybe you do want to just jump in. Maybe you need to send a note. Like, and I've started kind of recognizing and alerting people to we all have different ways of communicating. That doesn't mean I don't want your voice to be heard. Yeah, that's so true. Well, you did amazing. Oh, thank you. Seriously. Was there anything else that you wanted to add or include? Any other parts of your story? And I like to ask because I don't want people to feel like they didn't get to fit anything. You know, so sometimes I, so one of the things that I realized, so I mentioned, you know, I don't like voicemails and questions. And when I was recovering and people would ask, say, how are you?

Which sounds like such an innocuous question, it would actually send me spiraling because I wanted to be honest and, you know, vulnerable and share with them. But I don't want to be a downer. Right. And then I didn't want to just say things are fine and lie. They're not fine. Yeah. And so I would, you know, when they would ask me that question. how are you, I would start like spinning out like, how do I answer this?

And I've realized that when someone's in trauma now, when I'm trying to show that I care, I'll just say, I'm thinking about you, you know, sending good vibes here if you need me, but not ask a question. Yeah. Just sort of put the statement of, you know, goodwill out there. Right. Like show them like I'm here. Yes.

If you need a talk. Yes. Or if you need anything or even just company rather than, yeah, I think I've heard that before too of kind of just because people don't think about it they're probably like oh well like i ask how they are and yeah and you don't you don't really think about how somebody might react because the thing is too is i think that there's no set time on healing for anybody so it could also be that if somebody asks you that you know three months down the road you could feel like in your head well i should be fine by now but i'm not and then it's just yeah it is it so in spiral and

frustrating thing I feel like for someone, even within themselves. Yeah. And actually, you know, like three months down the road, people would say, are you 100% now? And, you know, I always wanted to say, well, it's, I'm different now. Yeah. You know, it's, that's, I've never heard that one. Oh my gosh. I got that question a lot. Really? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. You know, it's funny because it kind of goes back to what I was saying, if people are just so different, you know, it's like those people that will ask things like that and you're like, you know, I just would never ask that question. But yeah, you know, it's interesting. And I think, too, you know, just kind of piggybacking off of that kind of what we were saying

before, you just can't take things personally sometimes because some people, they could have like no ill intent with what they say and it can just come off so bizarre or like, why would you ask that or, you know, something like that. And it's just kind of like you kind of just have to brush it off and be like, you know, it is sort of everybody's going to say something in their own. own way that we're probably going to question and be like, why did they ask that? Why did they say it like that? I think, you know, probably just the last thing that I want to, you know, that I hope everyone takes away is just a reminder that we own our narrative. You know, we choose our words.

You know, we get to decide if we want to be kind to ourselves. And sometimes that kindness is, you know, is really hard to offer and accept. For sure. But as we decide to tell a happy story, believe that we can have a happy story, we also give ourselves the opportunity to see a brighter future and to get out of a stuck moment. People often ask, what do you do when you're stuck and you're right in the middle of the trauma? Sometimes it's a journey, but if you believe that the journey can have a happy ending, that in itself is a victory.

Yeah, and I think too, as traumatic as that part of your story is, I think the overall growth throughout your life is so beautiful. And I think that is the biggest thing that's worth sharing. I feel like the traumatic aspect is your story is kind of like, not even the starting point, but that's kind of the jab that it's like, all right, are you listening? You know? And then it's kind of like this whole beautiful story. of just growth. And there's so many aspects of your story that people can relate to in so many

different ways, you know, feeling like they're an outsider or they don't fit in because they're different, which is so, that's always been one of the craziest things to me because I've always been somebody that like, I'll look at people, you know, and I'll just be like, they're so different and unique. Like, I wish I looked like that, you know? Like, yeah, I'm just white. That's like, and it's so funny because I feel like everybody wants what they don't have in a way, you know? So, Well, I think everyone just wants to feel connected to. Yeah. But also I just, I don't think there's enough spoken out about, about, I almost feel like that all

of this is just a shell, you know, where we come from what we look like. None of that really matters. And I think that a lot of, like everybody's just, a lot of times people are just so vain and everybody wants to look perfect and understandably so, especially when you're a woman. It's like we want to look good, we want to feel good. And it makes us feel good when we look good. It makes us feel good. Yes, it makes you feel confident.

All those things are good and healthy. But at the same time, I think it's about once again that balance of finding that at the end of the day that's really not what's in here and it's not the most important. You know, we can connect to people from all different walks of life, all different backgrounds, all different everything, you know. And I think that that's the true reminder in that as well. but we can also acknowledge the beauty in everyone inside and out and you are so beautiful seriously you should know that of course and i like to say um you know like kinsugi breaking doesn't

mean you're broken yep i love i want to do that are there places that there are i've never done a kensugi class i've actually done my own like when something breaks at home i actually put gold dust I just feel like that would be, I just feel like that's such a peaceful therapeutic thing to do. And I love, it's such a beautiful metaphor. So beautiful. I love, I'm going to look into that. Seriously, thank you so much. You did amazing.