We're All Insane - Homeless Escort at 18 Years Old

Episode Date: June 24, 2024

In this powerful and moving video, we delve into the extraordinary story of a young girl who has faced unimaginable challenges. Izzy grew up in an abusive environment which ultimately led to her being kicked out and forced into the sex industry at a young age. Today, Izzy is still currently in the industry and wanted to voice her experience on how and why she got started and what she plans to do with her future after experiencing many medical issues and sexual abuse. If you have a unique story you'd like to share on the podcast, please fill out this form: https://forms.gle/ZiHgdoK4PLRAddiB9 or send an email to [e-mail] Business Inquiries please contact: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey guys, it's me Devorah. I just dropped an all new bonus episode inside my new subscription channel, We're All Insane Plus. This week's bonus episode is called My Brain was slipping into my spine. Listen now by subscribing to We're All Insane Plus inside your Spotify or Apple Podcasts app or go to we're all insane.com. My name is Izzy. I am 23 years old now as of March 1st. I'm a little Pisces. I grew up here in Carol County like I told you and I now live in Portland, Oregon. And I came over there like four years ago out of nowhere. So basically like kind of... There was no reason you moved.

You just decided there? It was just like I was homeless and I was like wherever the wind takes me. Wow. Okay. Yeah. So it was pretty intense. So from the start like growing up, I had a pretty. pretty normal life, like a good, like middle class life, pretty set up. And I started having a lot

of issues with my mother. I grew up in a very narcissistic, abusive household with her. And she, I love her to death. She really tried her best, but a lot of stuff got to her. And it got pretty abusive. And that's when we started to clash, especially like when I hit adolescence. Right. I was a pretty rough child to do with. Like I was a really rough teen. I would admit that. And I admit my faults and everything.

But a lot of people have told me, especially my amazing therapist, she was the adult. I was the child. So it was pretty rough. I've been in and out of like mental institutions, police. were always called at my house because me and my mom would get into these physical fights. And was it just you two growing up? It was my whole family. It was my little brother, my dad, me and her. And me and my dad, we always had a really good connection. He was kind of like the mediator. He was like, you guys stop fighting. Everybody get along. But that can always like help sometimes. But he really

tried. He really tried to like like mediate everything out. Um, but yeah, it just gradually got a lot worse throughout like middle school and high school. Uh, I started getting like really bad into like mental health issues, like self-harming, anorexia, bulimia, all of that. And my mom, she tried her best to kind of like guide me in the right direction with it. But it, it, but it, got very frustrating for her in a way that she couldn't really deal with it. So it got to the point where like if she saw me like cutting or whatever, she would smack my arms and tell me how disgusting I am. If I passed out on the floor, she would tell me like, hey, get up, get the fuck up and eat something. I'm not dealing with this. I hope that you have a daughter one

day to experience this same bullshit, all of that. And yeah, it was just, it was very abusive. And at one point when I hit like high school, I started fighting back because it was like little stuff over like, like either grades, any type of school stuff. Because I always struggled in school and it got pretty frustrating. I actually got put on Adderall at the age of like 10 or 11, which is wild. thinking about it now because no child should be put on Adderall at that young. It did help me in school a little bit, but getting into that mixed with like a bunch of

antidepressants. And another thing is my mom's a therapist, which is crazy. Wow. Yeah. But she's very clinical with it. Like do the homework and all of this and take your, take your antidepressants, get on medication. see a psychiatrist. Wow.

That's surprising because you, like obviously she knows how real mental health is. Yeah. So you would think that instead of kind of being like, oh, just get up and do it because I think people that don't experience it. And I will say, I've read this before and it's something that I've kind of realized on my own. I feel like our parents and even the older generations, they don't really understand the severity and the realness of mental health sometimes.

Yeah. It's not as easy as just saying it'll be fine. or you have no reason to feel that way because it's something in your mind that you can't really just fight it off. It's there for a reason and it sometimes takes a lot of work and therapy and self-help and all these other things and sometimes medication to really sort through these things. So it's surprising. Yeah, exactly.

And I think too, sorry, not to interrupt you. Oh, one more thought. I was going to say too, I think there's this mindset of because you had a fine. an upbringing and nothing bad happened to you, that there's no reason for you to feel this way. Exactly. And that's what I like it. I kind of got shunned on a lot from her is like there's nothing wrong with you. Nothing traumatic happened to you. It's just slowly developed. And part of it like in middle school, it was like attention seeking. Like I wanted some attention and all of that. But like it started to gradually get worse. And it turned into like just

be kind of closing off, but then I got really hypersexual. And I feel like you're a, how old are you? 26. 26. I feel like we like we both were like in that generation of like grooming on like kick and all of that, those apps. So like during like my high school age, I got really hypersexual because I got all of this attention from men online. And it wasn't like, I wasn't directed correctly with it. And it was just like, I loved it. Like I loved the attention and everything. But like now I look back on it and I'm like, oh my God, that's so disgusting. How could like a 20 something, 30 something year old man be talking to like a little 14 to 15 year old girl?

And I feel like that definitely had a toll on like where I am now in my life. So you were 13, 14-ish when you went on kick and stuff? Yeah, I think that's when like Kit came around. And I don't think I ever used that. Remind me what that is again? It's that like like little texting app. Okay. So how do people get your number on there?

Like it wasn't really a number. It was more like a username and like everybody used it. Like put it on Instagram, Snapchat. Were there pictures? Like how do people know, did people know what you look like from it? Yeah, you would have like a profile pick. But like there would also be like, um, like, um, like, group chats that you can join and like discover new people and then random men would just basically

find you yeah basically interesting okay and how long were you on that for oh god like probably from 13 14 up until like 16 I think it's when it's like the app kind of shut down or fell off the edge everybody got like tired of it okay um but yeah and uh so I was pretty hypersexual with that I was like oh my god, I love the attention. And then that's when it got into like, hey, like, let me see some pictures and all of that. And so I loved it. I was like, oh, okay, here you go, here you go. And then I realized how kind of disgusting it was, especially at this age now, looking back on it. But also when my mother eventually, like, she went through my phone and she found all that, she immediately took me completely off of the earth. Like,

deleted all of my social media, took away my phone. I probably didn't have a phone throughout my whole year of high school, probably one year of high school I did. And I like, I was sneaky with it. I would get like my friends to give me their old phones and stuff. Right. Um, but like, it's just, it got to the point where she would catch me masturbating and she would shame me so hard for it. Like, you're so fucking disgusting. forever touching yourself like that. That's not normal. And it was like nothing like intense or anything. And it just got really abusive. And I would sneak out. And her kind of motive would be make her look as ugly as possible. So nobody would want to hang around you. So she started,

if she caught me doing stuff like rebelling against her, she would start cutting my hair. She would take a chunk out of my hair and cut the middle of it out she would take away my makeup i wasn't allowed to shave at all so i was pretty hairy uh i wouldn't i couldn't use any hair products nothing so it's like nobody should be around this girl at all so she'll chill the fuck out wow it was pretty intense yeah i've that's that's something i've never even i would say i've never heard of somebody doing that which i haven't but in a way it makes sense what you said like it's that was her way of punishing you and making you. Yeah.

And like I definitely understand the frustration, like looking as like a mother's perspective. Like what do you do with this rebellious child? And she just kind of took it the wrong way. Yeah. That's where like I would talk to my. Here's the thing. And this show, honestly, I'm so young. But this show has really made me think about having kids.

and not want them. Only because it's so, not only is it so difficult, but I feel like children are so fragile. And anything you do is going to have an impact, both good and bad and it's scary. And I know you can't think that way, but that's the truth of it. But another thing, just who I am and what I've learned

and if I ever am a mother one day, the best thing you can do, even if it doesn't work, is support your child. Yeah. And even if it's not your child, support your friends, your family, whoever. Yeah. And it's in times like those that I think people are going to feel the safest. Yeah.

And I feel like, and obviously this was just who your mom was as a person. But I feel like if you had a different approach. Yeah. Shown to you, like, for example, when she caught you masturbating, if she was like, okay, like, obviously that is startling for her mother. But then if you sit down and you talk about it and you're like, okay, well, this is what it is. And if these are ways that you're feeling, like, you know, let's figure out why. Like you're pretty young. Like, you know what I mean?

Like I just feel like we need to be, and I've said this so many times, but whether you're a parent or a friend or a relative, whatever it is, I just think that we need to be more gentle with each other because it's so easy to make someone feel ashamed and wrong. When in reality, these are all very normal things. Granted, like you were young and I'm sure, like I said, it was startling for a mom to walk into their daughter, just like it would be startling for a kid to know about a sexual thing that their parent is doing. It's not necessarily a comfortable thing or a conversation that anybody wants to have,

but shaming someone is just, I mean, it's 100% abusive. Yeah. Even till this day, like, sometimes, like, I'll be doing my thing. And I'm like, oh, my God, I feel icky. Right. I can hear, like, my mom's voice in the back of my head. It sticks with you. Yeah.

And you should. And the thing is too is like people, a lot of people don't really, I think it's a taboo subject. But touching yourself and masturbating, it is human nature. It is very normal. Yeah. And it's actually better to be comfortable with that and comfortable with your body parts than to feel disgusted by them because that's how other issues build up like insecurities and not

knowing if something's wrong down there because you never look. And this could be going to a whole not. thing. But I'm so sorry that happened. I mean, that is, that's horrible. Yeah. And, uh, yeah, it really is. It's, uh, I usually like would be bawling my eyes out while I'm saying this, but I have an amazing therapist right now. Good. That's important. And she's helped me heal a lot of trauma. Like, I'm still healing, but like, I'm able to, like, openly, like, talk about this because of her. And, like, we had a session yesterday and, like, we went over, like, everything that I'm going to say and everything. And that was the other thing when I moved.

over to Portland, I found her and I love her so much. I've seen her for about almost four years now. And she's taken this completely different approach with me, which is like more spiritual and holistic, like more hypnotherapy. I've been doing, I love that too. It's so good. It's so beneficial. It feels like a very, I think, safe place rather than like transactional. Like tell you my, tell you my stuff, you tell me what to do. Like, you know what I mean? It's more. like just a safe place that you can just talk and get it out. Exactly. And like she helps to like really face it on too. Like when she puts me into hypno and like working with like EDMR and all of that like I face this shit head on and I will be bawling with my eyes closed.

And then she brings me back and she's like, you're safe. You faced it. You are safe here now. And the other thing that's crazy too is when I don't have a relationship with my mother anymore, where she's cut out of my life. But we tried to rebuild our relationship when I moved over to Portland. And it went okay for a week until she gave me this whole list of stuff that I needed to do in order to rebuild the relationship. And at first I was like, oh my God, yes, I know what I can do. And I look through it and slowly I was like, oh.

It's like, because I did OnlyFans. She was like, you need to get rid of only fans that is so demeaning and disgusting to women. She's like one of those feminists. She's like very old fashioned. She's like, women should support all women. But fuck sex workers. Fuck anybody that like shows their body or uses it like on that sort of platform. And that was very confusing for me too because a lot of women are happy like with doing it.

And like they make a good living too. And they're comfortable. we go through so many different phases in life, okay? When our parents are young, Only fans wasn't around. So I'm sorry, but like I'm sure they weren't being the classiest. Yeah. You know, there's a lot of parents that probably had a lot of sex and, you know, did a lot of shit and did whatever they wanted. And that was their rebellious party phase back in whatever 60s, 70s, 8,9s, whatever the fuck.

Okay. So that was that. Now we're living in a time where you can make money and post your body online and not have to have sex. Yeah. But that's wrong because the world can see it. It doesn't make sense to me. And I'm not saying either thing is right or wrong.

Whatever. I do only fans. I get it. I can see it from a different perspective. And I've gone through phases where when I started it, I've always been somebody that was like, oh, flashed my boobs before I even had tits. I didn't care. I've always been comfortable with doing that.

Mm-hmm. I would post more provocative. pictures online. Decide to start an only fan. Granted, they've gotten a little more provocative, whatever. But I make a living from it. And I wouldn't be able to have the show and help people if I didn't. So people can think whatever they want, and that's fine.

But everybody has their choice. And I feel like as I've gotten older, now, yeah, I do view it in a little bit of a different way than when I started. I do feel kind of gross when I take certain pictures. And I want to save myself for like just one person. But part of life is going through these different phases. of like wanting to do that and then on your own maturing and growing out of it. But like neither side of it is wrong.

You know, like I would never look back and say I regret it because I have what I have because of it. And it drives me nuts that people are so like, you know, like, because what is the, what really is the difference between somebody posting their body online and making a living off of it? But then somebody that works a nine to five but is a raging alcoholic and goes out Thursday through Sunday and kills their fucking liver and body. Exactly. It just, it doesn't make any sense. And I guess that's just that generation. You've got, you've gotten me heated over here.

I know. What gets me the most to is like some men too. And it's mostly like older men too. They're like, oh, you're not going to look like this in like 30 years and be able to make this money. I'm like, no, I'll probably be doing something else. But if I do, hell, I'm doing it. Because I know a lot of porn stars that are like in their 50s. and they're still thriving. Whatever floats people's boat. Exactly. And I think that the people that care so much and have an opinion, I don't understand that because if you were genuinely happy in your life

and focused on yourself, I don't think you'd really give a shit what somebody else was doing. No, exactly. Let them. Doesn't affect your life. Doesn't pay your bills. You know what I mean? Who cares? Anyway, I'm so sorry for interrupting.

Oh, no, you're fine. I had to pitch in. And like going along with that too, like especially growing up out, out here. Just like personally, I feel like a lot of people are so close-minded. Like, I grew up in like that sort of neighborhood. It's like keep your shit to yourself. Nobody should know your business. It's like when I came out as like a bisexual when I was like younger, my mom was like, okay, I support it. But like nobody needs to know this. That's not something anybody needs to know. I'm like, then how do I like find a girlfriend? Right. And it's like that Facebook mom group that's like

you can't have like these Facebook moms going on and rambling about your bullshit or whatever. And it's like, who the hell cares? Let them talk. They have nothing better to do. Right. And it's like a lot of a I know a lot of my family members would probably be like, oh, why would she ever like come out in here and talk about her life like this? I'm like, because I want to. This is a sort of like closure for me, honestly. And there's a lot of other people that listen and would feel heard and understand. And understood and enjoy it. So that's why. Exactly.

Okay. So you read this list. Yeah. And the other one, too, that was the funniest is I've seen. I was with my therapist for like a year by that point or whatever. And part of that list was like, you need to see a therapist that I want you to see. I don't like this therapist. And I'm like, I love her.

Yeah. She's working me amazing. If she helps you, that should be all that matters. I know, exactly. And then like getting on medications again and like I hated being on medications. That was just not something for me. Even like my Grammy, she was like, I saw you transition into like a totally different person. You were just more of a zombie. Like numb. Yeah, very numb. Like emotionless too. And like that was the other thing my mom said. She was like, you just are showing no emotions when you do this reckless shit. And I'm like, yeah, I'm numb to the fucking core. I'm on like four different. types of antidepressants and Adderall and birth control. Like I'm a walking zombie. So like getting off of all of that, it's been amazing because I'm actually able to feel stuff. But yeah, anyway, so about like, I want to say 19 or 18 actually. Let's start there. I tried going to college. And I was like, Yes, finally like get to have my own like independence piece. And I turned into that college kid

that immediately ran off and was like, I have all this freedom. I don't know what to do with it. So like college didn't work out for me. It was actually at Salisbury University. It didn't work out for me after three months. So then I went back home. And I got a job for a little bit. And my mom was like a, the most, like the worst thing I really ever did was like smoke weed. Like I really didn't do anything harsh or anything else. I just smoked weed. She was so against that. So she caught me smoking weed when I like came back or whatever.

And we ended up just getting into this huge fight, which was like kind of normal for us. But this was, this fight was different. This was like, I'm not putting up with this anymore. and I'm not going to be trapped in this house anymore because I was like her kind of like her whole thing like if you like if I keep you in this house and I constantly have my eyes on you and I know what you're doing like nothing is bad is ever going to happen like you're going to be secure. That was totally not the thing at all. So I was just I was really done with it and at the time I had a girlfriend and I like texted her on like this iPad that I had like secretly and I was like call

the cops now and the cops knew like who we were because they always were at our house because we would get in like some pretty bloody fights we we would put scratches and bruises and draw blood on each other it was pretty bad but it was mostly because I was fed up with her putting hands on me and I finally started like punching back. And so anyway, my girlfriend at the time, she called the cops. Cops arrived because my mom was like, you could either stay here and have everything taken away from you again, even though I was 18, or you can leave with nothing. And I was like, I want to leave, but I need my stuff. I need stuff that I've actually paid for and stuff to kind of survive. And she was like, no, no way, not

happening. And so that's when the cops came. And the cops were like, okay, pack her a bag. we'll get her out of here. So that's what they did. She packed me a bag and they took me to my girlfriend's house at the time. And it was just a really weird situation. She was going through a lot. She was trans and she was on a lot of hormones and her parents were not really acceptable of it.

So they didn't really like me being around there either. So I was basically homeless. She snuck me in here and there. few nights just so I could sleep. But other than that, for a while, I slept in a Denny's. I slept in a kid's parking, or kids playground, anywhere that I really could. And you were 18? Yeah, I was about 18 at that time. And what else was not going to say. Oh, yeah. So, and then I started like, I wanted a bed to sleep at night. So I started hitting people up on Tinder randomly. ugly fat i don't give a fuck i would literally just sleep with somebody just to have a bed to sleep at

night and that was a really rough one to go back on because it does feel shameful to say that but i needed to do what i had to do um especially because then at that point i moved over to boulder like in the city and it was pretty dangerous like obviously young female in baltimore at night so i I would just sleep out wherever I could. Were any of these long term or it was just like? Very short term. Like usually let me sleep in the bed for a few hours or a night. And then it was like, eh, hit the road.

And so I just, I bounced all over. I just kind of did what I could. I'm Anna Garcia, host of True Crime News, the podcast. Every week we bring you in-depth coverage on cases making headlines, as well as those that go under the radar. Tune in for murders that defy explanation, mystery seeking exploration, and shocking secrets that will leave you breathless. Each week, we honor the victims by going beyond the salacious in our search for justice. Crime never stops, and neither do we.

Listen to true crime news available now wherever you get your podcast. And eventually, I found this website. It was called, like, sexy jobs.com. It was like an indeed, but for sex work. And I was like, okay, I'm, I'm into sex work. I've always kind of wanted to do it and everything. So, uh, I just, like, posted an ad or something for random people to, like, reach out to me. And this guy hit me up and I thought it was for, like, a porn shoot. I thought it was, like, to, like, kind of get me into porn and everything. And he ubered me to his place. And it was a hotel. When I got there, things just felt really off. But I just went through it. I was like, okay, do what I got to do.

And I remember at one point, we went out to smoke some weed, and I was like, oh, thank you. I needed a joint, whatever. And I started telling him that, like, such a long week or a long month I had. And he's like, nah, I don't want to hear about it. I don't get the fuck about that. I'm like, oh, okay, no problem. So we get up to the hotel room and there's another man in there. I didn't know that there was going to be two men.

And there's a camera sitting in front of the bed. And all I remember is they just said, we need to test you out before you start. And they did. They went multiple rounds with me, came inside B, everything. And it was all filmed. And I just remember them just like putting me in this hotel room. And they're like, there's other girls here too, but you can't see them yet. And I'm like, okay, weird.

And I remember in the middle of the night I was sleeping and they tried to have sex with me again. And that's when I kind of pushed them off and they're like, oh, we don't want to deal with a fighter this time. So they just kind of left me alone. And in the morning, they went to go get me food or something. and I remember calling my friend. It was like the closest person that I could find nearby. And I was like, please get me out of here. And luckily I was right by a mall.

So I went into the mall and I waited for her to pick me up. And I told her what happened and she's like, you were just about to be sex trafficked. And I was like, wow, I did not see it like that. But now I see it. I'm like, wow. I really was about to be sex trafficked. And it sucks because, like, after I finally got to her, they started blackmailing me.

They started sending me messages, threatening messages and everything. And I was like, I just, I think I just turned my phone off or I got a new phone at that point. But. So did they ever tell you what it was for or, like, they just messaged you on that website? I guess I never, like, asked specifically. Did they pay you? No. They said that I was going to get paid, but never did. I thought it was for porn, but I guess I never, like, clarified with them. Yeah. So then, like, yeah, kind of adding all the details together and, like, looking over it, I was like, I couldn't see the other girls in the room. I heard them, but we weren't allowed to be around each other. I was like, yeah.

Because you're still so young. It's like, how do you know what questions to ask? Exactly. Yeah. And that was like the other thing of, like, getting into the industry at such a. young age and like just needing help you get taken advantage of very easily by these men because men love to prey on young amateur girls wanting to be in the sex work industry and that's what I experienced a lot getting into it which sucks did you have any contact with your parents at this point or you were just like it was it was kind of done okay by then they were just kind of done I was done and I was just trying to find my way, basically, trying to get myself off of the street. But yeah, so, and then, so this girl that came and helped me out, she let me stay at her place for a night.

And then she connected me with this program that's actually local out here. It's called the Sex Workers Outreach Program. She took me to their house, and they, like, kind of just had a meeting go on. And, like, I got introduced to everybody. And they're like, okay, we're so. sorry that you had this experience happen. What can we do? What can we do to help? Where can we lead you? Everything like that. So they just gave me a nice place to stay for the night. And eventually on the same like sexy jobs.com, I got another message from this guy in Las Vegas. Young me, I was like,

oh my God, Las Vegas. Fuck yeah. So immediately the day after I, he flew me into Las Vegas. And it was pretty nice from the start. It was like we were in a really nice house and like enterprise and there was a few other girls working there. Like he even had me like talked to some of them on the phone before I came out. And everybody was really cool until like kind of COVID hit. And he just he got irritated with like the younger females in there. He was like an older dude in the 60s. And it was for webcaming. It was like a big webcam house. So we all like just did a webcam shows together. And it was just very mechanical. I didn't like it. And I didn't realize how much he was actually taken advantage of me. Because like within a month, I was like, wait a minute. I've never gotten a paycheck yet.

And I'm like working like I'm on camera for like eight hours a day, six days a week. Like even on my birthday I was working. And I, um, I'm, like, I'm working. And I, um, I never really saw much of the money. And he even, he set me up with like an actual porn shoot. It was for a backroom casting couch. And it was in Arizona. It was gorgeous,

beautiful house. And I got there. This is my very first porn shoot. And I was like, okay, I'm excited, everything. And my period starts. I'm like, oh, okay.

And they're like, okay, shove all these like cottons up your vagina to like stop the bleeding. I'm like, okay, never done that, but I guess if it works. And the shoot, it went all right. Wait, so you have the cotton in as you're having sex? Exactly. Yeah, they were like, just like shove a bunch of like cotton swabs up your vagina and like

it will stop the bleeding and then we'll fish them out later. Yeah. Yeah. Were you going into these porn shoots, were you ever like nervous or were you? Oh, yeah. All the time. All the time I was. I like, I didn't know what to expect. And I didn't know how it worked at all. Like I've seen porn, of course. But like once you're in it, you're like, okay. So that was your first one. And it was at a house in Arizona. Yeah. It was a gorgeous house. It was beautiful. It was right on the hills. And then do they just like bring you in and then they kind of set you up with whoever? And do they give you like a skit or how does it work? So like the guy that I was living with, Vegas. He set it up because he knew these guys. Okay. And yeah, they just basically bought me like a day trip, like fly there, do the shoot, fly back kind of thing. Picked me up. They did makeup. They took me to Macy's to get my makeup done. And I'm like, I'm not like a big like makeup like

flashy at that time. Like now I do my wings and my eyelashes and everything. But at the time I decided like I was a lot bigger and just caked on makeup. up did not look good. So I just did not like the look at all, but I just went through with it. I'm like, I guess this is what girls do. And they kind of like gave me a rundown of like, oh, like you're just like a girl next door coming in. And so we do that. And then he starts it off by like, he had a male model. So there was a director and then there was a male model working with me. And they started off just like with solo. And then my first red flag was, they. They started asking me questions about, like, my sex life when I was under 18.

And the one thing that I was taught was never talk about your sex life in sex work when you're a minor, like your minor sex life. And I was like, oh, I'm not going to do that. And he's like, okay, I'll fine. I'll cut it out. And then, like, we do the shoot. And it's just, like I said, it's just very mechanical. It's like, I have to do these positions, but always look at the camera and, like,

always look at the camera this way, look at that way. It just like it, it was very fake. And I was like, man, porn is really fucking fake usually. So, and then afterwards, the other thing that they didn't tell me is what it was a cream pie shoot. I didn't know that until the dude came inside me. And they also heavily pushed anal on me when I said no. I was like, no, not happening. And they kept on pushing and pushing it. And then the dude came inside me. I was like after the camera cut I was like I'm not on birth control like what like I didn't know this was going to happen like what was that and they're like don't worry about it he like opens up his drawer from his desk and like throws me a plan B and I'm like okay cool wow so yeah that and then I found

out a week later that the director he doesn't do shoots anymore himself he doesn't act as a male model anymore because he started giving fake tests to women. So he ended up in like some lawsuits with giving girls like HIV or AIDS or something, like something extreme. Jesus. Yeah. So I was like, dude, you had me work like you had me shoot with these guys knowing this when I was talking to my boss at the time. And he was like, nah, don't worry about it. Nah, just leave it alone. I'm like, okay and then that's when COVID hit so I was like 19 at the time now and I didn't mind living in Vegas but all the other girls kind of slowly like faded out of the house they kind of moved on to their own thing or he kicked them out and he started getting irritated with me just because

I wouldn't have sex with him and so one day he pulls me into the room and he's like so the camsite shut down your page because you weren't making enough and I was like what that doesn't happen. He's like, oh yeah, yeah, it does. So you need to pack your stuff and leave. I'm like, okay. And that was like kind of the first time where I was like, I just got settled in, even though I wasn't used to like being settled in to a place for a long period of time. But like I actually felt like I was going to settle in here. So I packed my stuff. And luckily at that time, I found this amazing friend. And he actually traveled from New Jersey. And his like little like Volkswagen Golf, just living out of his car.

And he, I told him what happened and he immediately came and picked me up. And this was like kind of like the fun time of like me being homeless where I didn't see it as being negative because he, I had two bags with me, put him in his trunk. And we just camped out in Las Vegas and the Red Rock Canyons for basically like the whole month. And it was amazing. He taught me at a rock climb. We went hiking all the time. We went camping with his friends.

Like it was a really nice experience. Even though like we were homeless, it was kind of that like we have all of this open nature. I was going to say it was more like the nature vibe. It feels more like a choice because people do live like that. Yeah. So it's like, yeah. It was like one of those times we like really didn't have to worry about money. And we all kind of like contributed to each other.

But then eventually we kind of were like, okay, yeah, we kind of got to find a job at this point. Yeah. So we went over, we drove over to L.A. because he got a job working on a, a weed farm. And we, um, we get over to L.A. and I find like this other gig, this guy is like, hey, come, uh, do this. And this was when I got introduced to escorting. And I was like, interesting, never heard of it. And we get to, uh, I meet him at the hotel. My friend drops me off. I'm like, thank you so much. Sainara. Keep in touch.

And we still do to this day. But anyway, I get to this hotel with him and immediately I notice something, again, is off. And he has me go get a prepaid card to pay for a room with this money or whatever. And we get into this room and he has like this small little Filipino girl that barely speaks English. there and he's like she's going to start working too but you see more experience so we're going to show her the rundown of it and he's like since we're working together now you got to work with me and kind of like follow my lead do what i say and then he just pulls down his pants and he's like you got to show her like how this works and he starts fucking me like in front of her and i'm like

okay and then while he's doing that i see her pocket my phone and i didn't say anything because I'm not like very confrontational, but eventually like after that was done, I was like, okay, I was like, hey, can you call my phone? And my phone rings right out of her bag. And I just get up and I leave. And I just leave that situation. And by that time, I had this girl that I was in contact with up in Portland. And I kind of told her what happened.

By this point, I'm just like worn out. I was like, I don't want to go through like these situations again. I'm so tired. I don't know what to do. Yeah. And plus, because you're doing all these things and you're not. Yeah. I know exactly.

Like eventually like I actually like a I, um, I threatened the guy in a, in Las Vegas, like legally. Yeah. Because what like the webcam was legal and everything. Um, I was like, hey, you never paid me. I can go to the cops unless you pay me. And he was like, okay, he was $300. I'm like, great. Being an escort.

That's legal too, though, right? It's decriminalized. Okay. To a certain extent. But they really don't give a shit. Is being an escort? Is that when what is, like exactly what it exists? Some people they take you out to like, it can just be simple, right?

Where like guys take you out to dinner and stuff and it's just like for company. Yeah, it's more like just a companionship. It's more of like a high class companionship. That's what I thought. Okay. Yeah, for these men. And so the guy in L.A. that was just like, that was more pushing the lines of like prostitution.

Okay. That was more icky. And then, like I said, like by that point, I was just so tired once I left that. Right. And I was messaging this girl that found me. And she was like, hey, just let me fly you up to Portland. I'm a female. I have a place for you.

You can just like, we can see if we connect. And how did you need her? She found me on like one of the websites. still. And so I fly up there. I get up there. And it's raining. It's Portland. I'm like, this is an interesting city. Like I had no idea that Oregon was actually a state. I thought it was like California, Washington, Canada. I didn't know like Oregon was a thing. So I get up there. I'm like, God, this city's beautiful. Hate the rain, though. Right. But yeah, so anyway, I get up to the apartment with her. She picks me up from the airport. And immediately,

were kind of skeptical with each other. And then I bring out my bong and I'm like, you want to smoke some me? And she's like, fuck yeah. And off the bat, we just became best friends. And we're still best friends till this day. And we both do escorting now together. And it's nice. Like I'm my own person. I make my own schedule. I'm able to save up my money for my future. And I'm starting to like get to the end of like this is like I want to move on at some point like close that chapter yeah yeah because i actually just recently deleted my only fans because i was like uh kind of closing that chapter yeah that's kind of done because um you know once i moved up to portland actually it it was really nice like i actually kind of started finding myself and i'm getting teary thinking about it okay

um i actually found my amazing boyfriend there too Good. It was like, we're on the 20th of this month. It will be our four years together. Oh, congratulations. Thank you. That's amazing. Yeah.

And like off the bat, he was like, he was so respectful and curious about like what I did. Like he had no issue with it. And we started off as a fling actually, like just fuck buddies. And then we were like, oh, we have feelings. Yeah. So you moved up to Oregon in, you said, 2000. 19. Is that when it was? Uh, 2020. It was April of 2020. Okay. And then with the escorting, you got into that because of your best friend, right? Was she doing that already? Yeah. She's a,

she's actually, she's 28 now. Okay. God, it's so weird, because I met her when she was like 24 or something. Yeah. Wow. So she had a lot more experience and she kind of guided me through everything. She taught me the ropes. Okay. And have you had a better experience with that, like being over there? Way better. Okay. Way better. And it's like, it's like any other job. You never know, like, who you're going to, like, be with or anything. So is there, like, a website for it? Like, are you on a, is there a certain site?

Yeah, there's certain sites for it and everything. But they're based out of Europe. Okay. They're not, like, legal in America. And then the way that it works is do you, can you kind of choose more, like, what your boundaries are or, like, or you just don't know? Yeah, no. I, I put down, like, very strict boundaries.

Okay. And I also communicate with my boyfriend as well, like what he's comfortable with as well. So like we kind of have like a mutual understanding of it. Okay. It's kind of funny too. He like plays the housewife at home. I love that while I go to work. And but yeah. And also a lot of all these guys basically go through a screening as well. But even with the screening, there can still be some bad eggs. Yeah. So yeah, there's been like some negative experiences that I've. had and my best friend is have and a few other girls. But honestly, it's like any other job. It's like shit happens. It sucks. But that's the other thing that really sucks about this work is you kind of expect something to happen where you get assaulted. And it's hard. It's really extremely hard. I remember my first time being assaulted in it. I remember somebody trying to drug me. I actually caught him putting Molly in my drink and I was like uh-uh not happening and I just like kind of pretended to drink it um I've uh I've dealt with a lot of interesting stuff right um and

these people you said mainly it's just companionship like is that how it works yeah are they like older guys it's a mix honestly it's like it's very wild like I see either people my age people as far as 80s sometimes. And then does the pay vary, like, depending on what they want? I go buy, like, hourly. Got it. So, like, I have a set wage for, like, you're paying for my time. Got it.

But, yeah. And there's been some interesting ones, too. And, like, not all of these, like, these interactions are negative either. Like, I actually have more positive interactions than negative. And I've actually made up some pretty close friendships with these guys like outside of work where like they're not creepy at all about it and they actually respect what I do. And they know that I have a boyfriend and they respect that as well. Yeah. That's it's very interesting because I do have like some pretty funny stories with some guys. I had an older gentleman once a while back in Seattle that he just couldn't hold his glance together and he accidentally just shit himself. And he goes, you're just so hot that I shit myself. I'm like, okay. Were you in like a hotel room?

Yeah. And he shit himself, like on the bed or what? Yeah, on the bed. What did you do? I was just like, do you need to go clean up? And he goes, he looks down at it. And he goes, oh, I thought that was you. I was like, I have clothes on.

What? Oh, my God. Did it smell? Yes. Did you leave? No, I, I could, did you clean it? No, I called the maids and the maids, they were so sweet because like, these, usually I work out at, like, hotels and like, they're really nice hotels too. They're not, like,

icky, like, little, like, motels. Yeah. They're actually pretty nice hotels. And a lot of them, like, kind of know, like, that I'm there to, uh, see people. Yeah. And work. So they're pretty good with it, too, because I actually have some of the security to, uh, I've had to call security on a guy once. and because he wouldn't leave my room and he was trying to take all my money. And security showed up, got him out. And they were like, hey, here's my personal number. So you can contact me directly. And so I'm like here immediately.

I can't believe someone shit themselves. Yeah. And I actually blocked him after that. It was like, hey, I continued this session afterwards and cleaned it up for you. I know. And then afterwards, he actually stayed in the lobby for the next few days to try to like see if he could find me and like spit in the session again. And I was like, dude, no, no, no. Use the toilet. Yeah. I can't help you. Oh, were there any other crazy ones?

Oh, God. There's been a lot of interesting ones off the top of my head. I'm trying to think. There's just been like a, I know there's been some crazy ones, but I can't think of right now, but there's definitely been like some interesting ones where I'm like, you shouldn't say stuff like that. Yeah. Like, I've had, the most common one I get is because I'm young, a lot of, I've gotten a lot of guys that are like, oh, you remind me of my daughter. And I'm like, you need to not say that. Yeah, I was like, you need to not say that to me at all. I draw, I get pretty strict too with them. Like, I like, they think I'm like this small little girl, like this innocent little girl, but I'm like, like, I think. And at one time, I feel like, like, like, and at one time, I feel like, like, like, like when you first started like you were like when you like didn't want to say anything. Yeah. And like that's probably what they expect. But now you have some years under your belt.

So you're like, uh-uh. Yeah. Not flying by me now. Wow. That is fucking sick. And that's the thing too is like, unfortunately there are so many sick fucking people. Yeah.

And you probably see a good amount of it. Yeah. No. I have a though, oh, this one. I really hope this guy found himself help. But yeah, he was a vet and he definitely had some PTSD going on. Okay. And I remember it was a while ago I saw him.

I haven't seen him again. And this is why I say I really hope he actually found himself help because he would see me. And he had like cuts all up and down his legs, like self-harm scars. And he's probably like in its mid-40s. I'm like, oh gosh. And he's like, I had to like hide my like hide this phone and like under or a plant in my front yard. So like my wife would think I'm like here, yada yada.

And he brought in, he told his wife that he was going to a shooting range. So he brought in guns into my hotel room. And I was like, oh, please don't do that. You could have left them in the car. And yeah, and then he just, I actually had to shut him down and cut him off because he, he tried to assault me raw. and that was like I kicked him off of me and I was like what the hell dude like I've seen him before too so I was like what the hell like no right and he was like I'm sorry like I fucked up fuck I'm just

like I need I need to just off myself all of this and I was like stop with the pity party I don't want to hear that you made a mistake now I just need you to leave and this is the end of our interaction right so I really hope that he found himself how like I do like I do have like a lot of like feelings obviously for like people that I see because we're all human at the end of the day. Right. But some of it is definitely concerning. I was like, what in your right mind like made you just like think that? Have you found that when you work that you really try to like kind of have this on-off

switch where like when you walk in and you're working, it's like your one version of yourself. And then when you go home like you're a different version. Like do you feel like that or does it all kind of blend? Yes. Actually, it's so funny. you say that because a year ago, me and my boyfriend, we actually, we're pretty open. So we had a girlfriend at the time and like stuff didn't work out eventually. But at one point, like, we were all like getting into it. We were getting a little heavy and a little saucy. And towards the middle

or at the end of it, I remember her going to me and she's like, Izzy, you have your workface on right now. us this is not work turn us on turn your work off right and I was like whoa oh my god I really like sometimes don't know how to like separate that because when I get into sex I'm like okay it's about this person like like I have like a rhythm I go on but like in my personal life it's very different for my work life now that like I kind of took a step back and realize that and that's like kind of the other reason why I stopped only fans is because uh me and my boyfriend like we would film stuff and we would like sell it. And it got to the point where I was just like,

we don't like, we both don't really have a high sex drive. And especially me anymore doing this work, it kind of dimmed it down a lot. So we don't really tend to have sex at often. But when we do, like, it's very intimate and it's passionate. And I don't feel like pulling out my video camera and recording it to sell to somebody online.

It like takes away from your time. Yeah, exactly. And like people just also started like making, requests of stuff that like I really like would never want to do like like come on base and everything and I'm like I haven't mentioned that to my boyfriend he was like I don't want to do that to you yeah but I was gonna ask something and I can't remember oh I remember um I was gonna ask you I know that when you said when you were younger you felt like you were really hyper sexual so you felt like that's kind of like gone down oh way down this work definitely took it down a lot really yeah I'm really not that like sexual

at all anymore. With work, obviously, like, I have to put on, like, that little front. But, like, the other thing that does, like, toll into it is I usually have to drink what I work because when I drink, like, I get, like, less nervous and I get more open and bubbly. And so that definitely has had a toll on my mental health just, like, with drinking a lot. Yeah. Yeah, it took a very big toll on my mental. health. And so I, my therapist, she's so supportive, like what I do. Like, obviously she's like,

I want to help you get out of this at some point. Yeah. But I support you. Right. Like, she's, I can't, words can't even explain how grateful I am to have such an amazing therapist. And this is another reason why she's so amazing. She, she saw that I was really down bad last year, just getting really bad into like some addiction, especially drinking. And she reached out to her teacher, the woman who taught her. And she does these holistic retreats, these hypnotherapy holistic retreats. And they're over in Maui. Okay.

And so we reached out to her. We told her like, kind of here's a rundown, what's going on. And she's like, Izzy will be amazing for this. She's also going to be the youngest, but I feel like she's going to have so much motherly love around her that it's going to be really good. And my, they both kind of came together and they took like half off of my tuition for it. So when do you do that? That was last year in April. But you already did it?

Yeah, how was it? It was, oh my God, the most beautiful thing ever. Oh, I'm sure. That sounds awesome. Like we were like away from like the town and everything. We were in this, God, what was it called? It was like kind of like a farm retreat. Okay.

Like it was like it wasn't like a fancy hotel or resort. It was like farm and just like kind of very naturey, like very in touch. Right. And there was, I want to say like 15 women there or more. And there was one male because he came with his wife. And, God, I can't even explain. They were the most beautiful people ever of all ages. And like the other thing about like the West Coast that I really realized,

is people are very open out there. Yeah. Like when I tell them what I do, they're like, oh my God, what's it like? How do you like it? Like they're curious about it. They don't like give me that look like, ugh. Right. Like judgmental.

Yeah. So, like, I kind of, I told them, obviously opened up about, like, what I did and, like, my history with my mother, like, how traumatic that is and how I'm, like, still healing from all of that. And I just got embraced with so much love. And again, like, all of them basically said, you were a child still. She was the adult. And that really, that made me step back a lot. and look into a different perspective.

But I remember at one point there was this one lady, she was being put into hypno. She had a lot of trauma going on from her past life with her mom and dad as well. And she was a lot older than me. She was like in her 30s or 40s. And it got very intense. I've never been in like a session so intense like this

or experienced it. So, like, I took a step back and, like, they just had me, like, sit there and watch and, like, breathe through it, work through it. And basically, like, she went into hypno and they started, like, yelling out, like, stuff, like, acting out as, like, they were, like, her parents or something, like, stuff that they would say, like, screaming at them. And everything, screaming it at her and everything. And you saw her scream and cry and wail and, like, say, get the fuck away from me and all of this. And I started, I started getting really emotional. and they like at one point one of them just put their hands on me and they're like feel it just be strong for her be strong for her and then we'll work on you and after that like they took her out

and they were just like yeah look you they're not in front of you you not like defeated them but like you faced them and you pushed them away you like faced it head on finally and so they took her out of it and gotten our, oh, sorry, gotten our embrace and everything. And I was still very emotional because this was also the time, like we were also, me and my boyfriend and our, our girlfriend at the time, we kind of all decided to split that it wasn't really good for us. So that was also very emotional for me. And I remember just bawling my eyes out. And this sweet little Italian woman, She took me out of the group circle and she laid me down underneath this beautiful tree with this sunlight hitting on me. And I started having a panic attack for like two hours.

And she just sat there and held me and told me to get it out. And she just let me get it out. I was screaming. I was crying. I was begging. for people to stop touching me, like men to stop touching me. And because I was just, I'm so done with men touching me sometimes. Like, just the feeling of it. I'm like, please get off of me.

And also, just like going back to, like, my mother. I'm like, I wish I had a mother. Like, I wish she was here. But she wouldn't be able to provide that kind of motherly love that I needed. and that's where this sweet little Italian woman just came in and she just held me in her arms while I was sobbing and like panicking and screaming like it was grabbing the grass and finally I like just calm down and I start breathing and she helps me she's like okay look up at the trees look at the sun look it's just all breathing and flowing with you just breathe with it and then at that moment I was like

curled up in her lap and this little lizard just comes up and like spots right on my face. Wow. And she's like, that's a little sign. You're so loved. Yeah. And so, yeah, all the women in that retreat, especially Sean, she was the main teacher of it. And she's just, words can explain how much she's really helped me through. And it was just one week.

Yeah. And it was such a powerful week. but yeah I really needed that I'm sure and it helped me step back and like realize a lot like how much I needed like what path I wanted to go on and like how much healthier I needed to be and how good it felt actually because after that like I came home and I was still kind of in a toxic household that I like wanted to get out of because I was living in a townhouse with my boyfriend and a few of his friends and like nobody was really paying rent I was like the main provider yeah and um everybody was kind of doing stuff there and I got home and I was like I need to get out right I need

my own space and I stayed sober for very long time throughout all of that I was like I'm not doing anything you guys can do it I don't want to do it I don't want any part of it and um that really helped me a lot but then um one of my friends at the time he took it upon himself he was in like a rehab or whatever for a little bit. And that was like kind of the fucked up thing when we were trying to get him into rehab. They were like, you need to have, you need to have a worse addiction. Like get worse and then you could come to us. So he did.

He got worse. Came to them. And then they were like, nah, we can't handle it. And so I just let him crash when I was away in L.A. because I have a lot of friends in L.A. that I visit. And he stole about $8,000 from me in my safe, like $6. to 8,000 because I got home and I had $800 to my name in there. And I was like, wow, okay.

I was like actually like, I seem pretty calm saying it now, but I was screaming throughout the house. I was like, who the fuck took my money? Yeah. All this. But after I calmed down, eventually I was like, okay, I just need a grind. And I worked for like two or three weeks straight in California because I have a lot of regulars in California. That's kind of like my main area. And I got my money up and I immediately

just broke off my lease, packed everything up. I bought a storage unit at least for one of my friends and his girlfriend because they were down bad and they didn't have anywhere to put their stuff. So I was like, okay, just let's share a storage unit together. I'm not going to like leave you guys completely in the dirt like that. But yeah, and I got my own little apartment in Portland off of Hawthorne, and it is the cutest little place ever. It's like my little safe space. Yeah.

And I'm so happy with where I am today. Like, all this stuff that happened to me, a lot of people see a different perspective of like, why did you put yourself in that situation? Yada, yeah. I'm like, look, it happened. I put myself in there. I faced it. Shit sucked.

But it helped me become a, like, a stronger person than I am today. I wouldn't be as strong as I am without going through all that shit, which I shouldn't have gone through in the first place, but I feel like it really made me stronger. And especially, like, coming on here, like, I want other young girls getting into this industry to know it can be very dangerous. And just kind of surround yourself. like with other sex worker females because females are the way to go. Females won't fuck you over and assault you like most men will.

Yeah. And then now do you have a relationship with your dad? I know that you said you don't have them with your mom, right? Yeah, no. I do have a relationship with him still. Okay. He's so, he's very sweet. Good.

He was also like the kind like going back to like when my mom caught me masturbating, he would pull me aside and be like, like, look, everybody does it. Yeah. Your mom's just kind of freaked out. Right. Well, that's good. And your brother?

Me and a him, we don't really have much of relationship. Okay. We just talk here and there, but he always kind of saw me as like way overboard, like way too open. Okay. That's like my family is very kind of closed off where I'm like the open book. Right. I'm like, here's my shit on the table.

I don't care who knows it. And do you know what you want to do? like in your future? Yeah. I actually, I used to want to be an elementary school teacher. Okay. I was a preschool teacher at one point. And I loved it. I loved working with kids, but school's not really for me. Maybe it will be in a couple years if I want to try it. But I honestly just want to be a bartender, just do bartending. And that's the kind of other fucked up thing I realized. I did the map on it. I would spend so much money going back. into school to become a teacher to make basically minimum wage.

Yeah. And bartenders make way more. Right. And I'm okay with that. I'm okay with like just being a bartender or like just kind of figuring out like my path. Right. Like where you want to go next and you're still so young.

So you have time. And I always say like we change, we can change our mind as many times as we want and just go with the flow. Whatever makes you feel the happiest is the most important. Exactly. And that's like a, the other thing I was like thinking. about when I was driving here, I was like, why does everybody ask like, oh, what's your dream job? Yeah.

It's like, why do we have to like have a dream as a job? Like, how do I say this? Like, why do we have to work as a living, like as humans? I feel like our dreams should be to explore life, not explore a job. Yeah. But sometimes do make other people happy. Right. They are happy with their jobs.

And I think, too, it depends on how people want to live. Some people have that very, like, I feel like old school mindset of like work. That's how we make a living. That's how we live. They live to work. And it sucks because I do agree. It should be, we should live in a life where it could be more balanced. But unfortunately, to live is expensive and not cheap.

But, you know, I do think that it's unfortunate that more people can't enjoy what they do and then have enough time to like. live their life and make, you know, fun decisions and do fun things. And it sucks because that's our economy and life. But I agree with you. I think that and our, like I said, our minds change so often. So our dream job this year might not be what we want to do in five years, two years even, you know, so. And I was like like the thing that was also kind of like what separates me from my family. It's like I'm the black sheep is like they're just very traditional. all like go to school, go to college, get a job, get married, have kids, yada y'all. I'm like, I just want to fucking live.

I want to be a little wild. I've gone through my wild years pretty young. So that's why a lot of people deem me as a little bit mature for my age. Because I am very responsible with not only my finances, but just my basic responsibilities. like I have fun but I also get shit done. Yeah. So yeah. And I just like I don't feel like I'm made to be on that like traditional routine.

Yeah. And whatever, like I said, whatever works for you. And I'm so happy that you like your therapist and that you've worked through a lot of the stuff that's happened because something that I try to express to my guests, especially that have grown up in these families that kind of have more like manipulation or narcissistic tendencies and, you know. whatever else in between. It's important that you know that it's not okay and that nothing was your fault and that,

you know, I think a lot of times it's easy for us to be like, yeah, I mean, that's just kind of how it was and to, you know, just breeze over it. But in actuality, like everyone deserves to have a mother figure and a father figure and everything in between and just a really good upbringing. And unfortunately, not all of us get that and it doesn't happen. but sometimes that's just the card that were dealt. Yeah. But you are very loved and you're a beautiful girl, seriously.

And you should know that every decision that you've made and that you're going to continue to make, it's fine. You're on your own path. You're on your own journey. And you should never feel judged or wrong for any of those things. And it takes so much strength and courage to come on here and open up about everything you've been through. You know, your childhood, who you are as a person, things you've done. And it's amazing that you're able to do that and that you wanted to do that.

And thank you so much for wanting to do it on my show. I feel like this was the most appropriate place to come on. Yes. No, you did. And like I said, I can't thank you enough for being so open and so raw about everything because it's hard. It's challenging. And I think it's easy for people to feel like, you know, not like that they don't want to be open about certain things because of the fear of judgment or what people might say.

So I really appreciate how open you were. and you are incredible. Seriously, you did such a great job, and I can't thank you enough. And so I hope that it was helpful for yourself. And then I always say, so many people are going to watch and listen and really feel heard and understood. And like they're not alone. And just for so many different reasons, you know, everybody's going through their own shit. And it doesn't have to be identical to your story to get something out of it.

So that's something important to remember, too. Thank you. I feel like, yeah, it's definitely taking back the power that I needed. Yes, you deserve to have it. Take your power. Have it. That's important. And, oh, I also forgot the one other thing.

I always have to mention when I first met my boyfriend and he introduced me to his parents. I kind of had like that sugarcoat. I'm like, oh, should I like tell them what I do and that? And then immediately he was like, oh, by the way, I tell them what you do. And they're totally cool. Good. So, yeah, his mom is like, she is my guardian angel. Aw.

She's like kind of the motherly figure that I know. needed. Yeah, and that's important. And I always say too, you know, we, the world is already such a harsh, judgmental, evil place. So the more people that can just provide love and make people feel loved and not so judged is what we need. Because there's plenty of people to go around that are just assholes. So if there's just like, if people could just be nice and make people feel, you don't have to agree with someone to love them and support them. Exactly. And that's key. We all need that. So we need more of those people if anybody's listening. But no, you did incredible.

Was there anything else that you wanted to say or you think you had it all? I think I hit all the points. Good. You did incredible. Seriously. Thank you so much again. I loved it. I loved every part of it.

Amazing job. I'm glad.