We're All Insane - I Watched My Twin Sister Die

Episode Date: March 16, 2025

#podcast #loss #sister #grief #believe #twin What was supposed to be an unforgettable dirt biking trip with her dad and twin sister, Gina Schaffer, turned into a nightmare that changed their lives forever. At just 18 years old, Dinah never imagined having to say goodbye to her other half in such a tragic way. In this video, Dinah takes us through the moments leading up to the accident, the heartbreak of losing her twin, and how her and her family have leaned on there faith to find hope and healing through the grief. Links: https://www.facebook.com/people/Live-Like-Gina-Foundation/61564929670241/?mibextid=wwXIfr&rdid=BIB6lzFun31VB8m6&share_url=https%3A%2F%2www.facebook.com%2Fshare%2F1Gq1Laz1dn%2F%3Fmibextid%3DwwXIfr https://www.tiktok.com/@livelikeginaa?_t=ZT-8ulFfeJjQwo&_r=1https://www.instagram.com/livelikegina/?igsh=MXdmZ3E2ZzJvbndzaA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr https://www.livelikegina.org https://www.youtube.com/live/aS7ACh_s1fQ If you have a unique story you'd like to share on the podcast, please fill out this form: https://forms.gle/ZiHgdoK4PLRAddiB9 or send an email to [e-mail] Business Inquiries please contact: [e-mail] Topics: Loss, Dirtbike Accident, Christianity, Faith, Sisterhood, Twins Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey guys, it's me Devorah. I just dropped an all new bonus episode inside my new subscription channel, We're All Insane Plus. This week's bonus episode is called My Brain was slipping into my spine. Listen now by subscribing to We're All Insane Plus inside your Spotify or Apple Podcasts app or go to we're all insane.com. Well, thank you for having me. I'm very honored to come on here and to be able to share my story. Today I'm sharing the story of how I witnessed my identical twin sister's death. And I want to share this kind of like beautiful outlook that I have on grief and what I've learned. Since she's passed, I've really just learned that grief does not need to overtake you. And you have that the power to control how you handle these things. I obviously also just want to

come on here to honor Gina and just who she was as a person and to show that the Lord is still good even in your storms because he does work all things for good. Okay. So I'll kind of just start with a little intro about myself. So I'm Dinah Schaefer. I'm 18 years old and I'm from Minnesota. I'll kind of just start with like a little intro about myself. So my name is Diana Schaefer and I'm 18 years old from Minnesota. I have two parents, Amy and Joe, and they are the most amazing people ever. Just super inspiring and encouraging people. They just let us, I mean my siblings, just be who we want to be. And yeah, they have their strict moments, but they really just are letting us figure out life for ourselves. And I've always been super

duper, I'm thankful for that. My family is known as this, like, the crazy adventurous family. Like growing up and stuff, we always were just riding and driving everything we could, like four-wheeler, snowmobiles, dirt bikes, all the things. All the fun stuff. Yeah, we just love to have adventures and go on super, like, fun, adventurous vacations and stuff like that. My parents both came from strong, like Christian families, and they thankfully raised us to be the same, which I'm super thankful for.

and my dad's out of the family. Well, I guess both. We're very passionate people and have a lot of strong morals, which just helps us to stay strong in who we are. I have three siblings. I have an older brother, Eli, an older sister, Lucy, and then my identical twin sister, Gina. And I'm very close with all three of them.

But Gina and I were just those twins that were inseparable, like the annoying ones that you would see in the hallway at school and be like, oh my gosh, they're always together. That was just us. And I just always think about, think back like if Gino was sick or something and I had to go into school and I had to like walk into the building by myself, I'd be so anxious because I didn't even know how to like walk by myself. Right. So we just did everything together. So yeah, we danced together.

We played soccer together. So all these sports. And we sang together. We led worship at our church. We were singing 24-7. Like that's just what we did. We had such this like natural effortless like harmony every time we sang. So, yes. But even when we weren't forced to be together, it was still our favorite thing to be right next to each other. And like, we always hated if we had to like go to a friend's house by ourselves. So we're like, no, we're a team. Yeah. Yes. Okay. That's just a little gist of like my childhood. But to really fast forward, I'll go to last summer. So summer of 2024 is when we graduated high school. We both had four point out. So we were valedictorians of our high school.

Okay. Just touch our own. Good job. That's great. Yeah. And we did do online school the last two years of high school, which I am so grateful for because we literally would do school for like two hours a day and that would be it. And then we just got to hang out with each other, just like do things that really filled our buckets versus sitting in a brick building for seven hours a day. Was that because of, did everything change because of COVID? That was after. I think COVID gave us like a taste of like, okay, we can be self-motivated.

Yeah. And we do like to do things on our own. And school is really drawn out. And, you know, We're not always surrounded by, like, the best people. So, like, I think COVID gave us, like, a taste of, like, what it could be like. And I think just, like, the summer before we started, our mom was like, do you guys want to do online school? She was kind of, like, joking. And we're like, no, we do. Right. I was too.

And so, yeah, and it was online school guys, not homeschool. There's a difference. But no. Yeah, it was, I'm just very glad that we did that because, like I said, we just kind of got to, like, figure out life ourselves and then to hang out with each other all the time, too, which I'm grateful for looking back. once again we were together as much as possible this past summer especially because we thought we were going to college which we were both planning to go down to Florida but at separate schools just an hour apart though so our part seems like you know very far for us because we were together all the time but we spent our summer on a mission trip in Kansas City which that was very fun I don't

it was just like I saw Gina grow on her faith even though like I was like how could this girl get any more faithful. Like she was just incredible. We went to church camp too, which is just like a week of so much fun and just once again growing in your faith and just making new friends. And so that was a blast to be able to experience both of those things with her this past summer. We went on a few adventures with some of our friends and families, a few vacations, an RV trip with our best friend Kate. So that was fun. I'm glad that we had those experiences this summer. But then it was getting towards the end of, or the beginning of August. And our dad really wanted to like go and do a trip with the both of us because we're getting sent off to our freshman year of

college. So we decided to go on this like dirt bike trip out west. So yeah, like I said, we're from Minnesota. So we were going to go to North Dakota and Wyoming to just kind of have a few day adventure on our on these road-approved dirt. June and I and my dad were very excited for this trip because it was definitely like up our alley and we were looking forward to it like all summer because it was just, I don't know, we just loved adventures like that. Like we're not the type of family to go on vacation and just like lay there and do nothing. I mean, sometimes that's good. But we just like to like go and do fun things. Yeah. So we're super excited. I'll just go to the day before. So July 31st of 2024. We were packing up. So we decided to pack up our bikes like in the truck and then drive like

almost all the way through North Dakota. And then we're going to start like actually on our bikes like going into Wyoming and then coming back. Does that make sense? Yes. So we weren't biking from Minnesota to Wyoming. Is that my sense? Yeah. Okay. So we were packing our bikes in the truck and then just like all of our gear and everything. And we were, it was a summer day.

So we were outside. We were packing up all of our equipment, all of our bikes and stuff. And we are out like in the, on our concrete pad out in front of our house. And by we, I mean my dad, Gina and I. And she just looked at my dad and I and she goes, you know, if I die just like on this adventure, just a lot, I'll be doing something fun and that I enjoy and I want to be cremated. And Gina talked about like death. a lot because she was just like so at peace with dying because she knew she was going to go to

heaven and that's what we live for. But and like she's talked about how she's going to be cremated. Like if she wouldn't have told me the day before, I still would have known just being her twin. But like just when she said it that time, it just, I really remember like my heart was like, hmm, I feel like I needed to hear that. And obviously that didn't like arise too many red flags in my brain where I was like, oh my gosh, we shouldn't do what we're doing. Yeah. But I do remember just kind of been like, hmm, that seemed like I needed to not. And when she said it, I remember like looking at her and laughing. And I was like, I'm glad you know what you want to or what happens with your body when you die because I don't know.

I mean, now I do. But yeah, it just, she was like so sure when she said that. And then now once we got back home from all of this, Lucy, my older sister did tell us too that she also went up into her room before she left. And Gina was just saying the same thing. She was like, you know, I won't one alive person to know this at least. But if we die or if I die, just know that I'm, I love my life and I'm super happy and I'm doing something that I love. and I want to be cremated and I know I'm going to heaven

so I'm okay and you don't need to worry about me like just the fact that she said that and just reassured all of us yeah I mean people who have like gone to heaven and came back say like they had a feeling before it happened but so I feel like she kind of had that

but once again your intuition and everything you just yeah right yeah right oh another this is kind of a story that kind of ties in with like intuition like I feel like you know she had to know something but okay like I mentioned earlier um We sang together all the time.

We led worship together all the time. And like I said, we were a packaged deal. Like, you weren't going to get one of us. It was both of us or neither of us. And so remember how I said how I went to, or we went to that church camp this summer. So there's like a worship leader there who leads worship the entire week at camp. And once I got back this past summer, I was like thinking to myself,

I was like, ooh, I want to be the worship lead next summer. Like that would be something I would really enjoy. And it was just like really heavy on my heart. And I was praying about it. And I was like in my living room. and I was just like, hmm, I'm going to do that. Like, I'm going to be the worship lead next summer. And never in my mind did ever cross that like Gina is going to do it with me, which is so odd

because like I said, we always sang together. And so, yeah, I was like praying about it in my living room. And then I think she was in the kitchen probably cooking or something. Cooking what's her favorite thing to do? And I just walked up to her and I was like, Gina, I want to be the worship lead at camp next summer. So yeah, I walked in and just said like, I want to be the worship leader at camp next summer. and she just looked at me and she said, yeah, you should do that.

And once again, she had no, like, we didn't talk back and forth about how she's going to do it with me or she wasn't like, oh, you're going to do that by yourself. It was just, yeah, you're going to do that. And I vividly remember just, like, walking away. And I was like, that was weird. Like, once again, I obviously didn't like, I wasn't like, oh, Gina's going to die in a week. But it was just like, hmm, why did, why is it just going to be me? Like, I remember thinking that. And it was really, really odd.

And we'll see maybe next or this summer I will be the worship lead. I'm not really sure where my life will take me. It was almost like all of these things. It's like a, it's preparing you, but you don't really know it in that moment. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I just, I, and I do believe that's how life works.

Right. For sure. Yeah. Yep. Okay. So then, yes, we started driving into North Dakota on July 31st, 2021, 2024. And it was probably like a seven hour drive, I think. And we were singing the whole time, just bugging our dad.

No. He loves when we sing. So we were basically. doing karaoke the entire time. It was just like, it was honestly, like, I felt like I was in a movie. It was such a vibe. And like I said, it was like a nice and sunny summer day. So it was just like so beautiful. But this is so random. But you know what about me to say this? But we got chocolate ice cream like on our way. And her favorite thing was chocolate ice cream. So I'm like glad that she had that the day before she died. Such a little thing. But it means something to me. And then like,

obviously we were talking. It was a long ride. So like we were getting into like some deep conversations. but she just kept listing all of her favorite things. And like her twin, I could have already probably listed all of them anyway. But I was just like, why is she like ranting to me all about all of her favorite things? Or like all these things are so important to her. And like, I'm glad she did because now I have such like confidence on like when I'm saying like, oh, her favorite thing was this because she literally told me the day before. But once again, I remember that was kind of weird too.

I was just like, why is she going off all these things I already know? But she just wanted us to know. Okay. So we were about an hour of. away from like where we knew we were going to stay in North Dakota. And so dad was like, hey, girls, or k-girls pick a spot to sleep for the night weather. It's a hotel cabin, whatever, campsite. We didn't really care. And so we were both searching, kind of like racing to figure out who would find out where we're staying. And then she found this place called Wyatt's Hideaway.

And Wyatt is her boyfriend's name. And so my dad and I were like making fun of her. We're like, of course you want to stay there because it's Wyatt's name or whatever. But like looking back, I am so grateful that we stayed there because, I mean, obviously it's her boyfriend. So she's already thinking about him. But like because we're staying at a place with his name, I feel like she was probably thinking about him a lot more, which just brings me comfort because she didn't get to see him the day before she died or the day of. So I'm like, that's cute to kind of think about. But it was just funny. Dad and I were like, oh my gosh, do you know? First you want to stay at Wyatt's hideaway. And there's like a picnic table that said Wyatt's hideaway on it. And so like she like

pose of the picture. And those pictures are so cute. But anyway, okay. So we finally arrived at why it's hideaway. It was just like this tiny cabin, like half of this room, honestly. It was teeny, just two bunk beds. And we were about to go to bed and I think like, the lights were still on, but we were just winding down. And, okay, two bunk beds, Gina was on the bottom of the one and then dad is on the bottom of this one and I was on the top. I don't know why I wasn't sleeping on Gina's bed, but that's where I chose to go. Anyway, but my dad started telling stories. And if you know my dad, he's like the best storyteller in the world. He just is hilarious and like is so, I don't No, you can totally envision it when he's speaking because it's just so detailed.

And sometimes it's a little slow. But no, he's so good. Anyway, so, yeah, he was just telling us all these stories, some about, like, experiences or like his experience of getting his motorcycle license and, like, whatever, stuff like that. And so, yes, like I said, dad and Gina were on the bottom bunks. And I didn't want to, like, sit up on top and listen to those stories. I was like, I want to be down there. So I went down and I sat, like, at the end of Gina's bed.

and I ended up like sitting on her feet and she was like get off like move and I almost did but I was like stay here and I'm so glad I stayed there and we just laughed so hard for like an hour straight when I'm listening to my dad say these stories and I remember like literally I'm so dramatic but I was like rolling on the ground at some point because I was laughing so hard but yeah she just like I mean not she was joking but kept yelling at me the whole night to like move off her feet and I was like no I'm staying here and I'm just glad I did so many good memories yeah like memories that I like, I'm glad you did that, Dinah, because otherwise I would have been like, since we were like 10 years old, Jean and I have always said, good night,

love you, see in the morning to each other. And we say it really fast, good night so morning. So, like, people are like, what does that mean? It's like our own little thing. I mean, we started saying it to our parents and, like, some of our close friends too. So the real ones know what it means. We say it so fast. But, like, we could not go to bed without saying that first. So, like, we always, or we shared a room. And, like, if I would say, good night at least morning and then she would say it back. But then she would have, like, another story to tell us. So we would like talk to each other for like five more minutes. And like no matter

what, we would always end with kind of a morning. Anyway, um, I'll get back to my story in a sec. But I got a tattoo now of her initials, GLS. But also, we've realized since she's died, someone brought us brought it to our attention that it's good night. Love you see in the morning. GLS like her initials. So that's just like another little like Godwink. That is just so cute. Yeah, I just love that. But anyway, I vividly remember she was already sleeping by the time I was like she was always asleep before me I was I'm such a night owl but before I went to bed on July 31st and so I just like looked down at her like sleeping that sounds so creepy I just said like good night at least in the morning and I do think she said it to me before she went to bed I can't really remember that but knowing us she definitely did but I'm just glad that I did say that the last night and like it was true like I did see her the next morning you know I don't know. That always brings me like some peace. But okay. Then August 1st, 2024 is actually our half birthday. And I remember we talked about it on the day before, but we never actually said like, happy half birthday to each other on the first, which we normally

did just because it's funny. I don't know. But yeah, we never said that to each other. But I guess because we were just so like distracted getting ready for the trip or whatever. And so, yeah, we like unloaded our bikes. We got to our little starting point and drove our truck to where it was like going to stay for the next few days. And then our like our gear for the whole trip was like, like our clothes and stuff was like this big because our, it's just like we're riding on these roadproof dirt bikes. I do want to make that clear. We were not riding motorcycles that go 70 miles an hour. We were going like 35 miles an hour on these dirt bikes just for people to know because people like to assume things.

But yeah, so we're just like trying to keep our load light so that we could, it wasn't like distracting us on our driving or whatever. And yeah, we were just like riding around and getting ready. We had all of our gear on. We had like Viking pants and boots and helmets and all the things, all the gear. So we were just like getting all our stuff on and chatting and all excited. Our dad was like taking pictures of us because I don't know. He's just like that. But I remember the very last thing I said to her like before we took on on like our initial sendoff.

I just looked at her and I said, you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. And I think she just like smiled and nodded. I just remember that. And I don't know, it just makes me happy when I think about that. I'm like, I'm glad I said that too. But anyway, so once again, it was a beautiful summer day. The sun was shining so bright. But like when we were going, the priest felt so good. I had this phone stand. Gina didn't have a phone stand. Her phone was like in her bag or whatever, but I'm also very grateful that I had a phone stand on my bike. And so I was like able to listen to music the whole time. Once again, I literally felt like I was in a movie. I was like, yes, it was just such a vibe. It was just so

I don't know, I was like, I'm going to remember this forever and I still do. Anyway, we stopped a few times to just chat and kind of like regroup. My dad like made our route beforehand, but we kind of like were going off it just like based off of where we wanted to go on like which roads and stuff. So yeah, that morning we rode probably like 50 miles, I think of gravel road. And gravel road's a little tough to ride in because you get like stuck in like all those ruts and stuff. But it was good to like start with that.

yeah like I said I don't think I ever went over 40 miles an hour so it was just a chill like it was honestly just a vibe but yeah we were passing like we were in rural North Dakota so we're just passing all these like farmlands and whatever and it's just so beautiful looking out and the sun just just felt so nice I'm such a song girl I just love when the sun's on me but about two hours I could be getting this wrong. I don't really know. Two or three hours in. We took this one. I didn't know it was going to be our final stop, but our final stop before it all happened. And once again, it was really hot out. So we like, intents or purposely like stopped underneath these like shaded trees. And we were looking out and there was like all these mountains. And it was just like so such beautiful landscape.

And our dad was like trying to figure out where we're going to go next. And I remember Gina like looking out in the view and she was just like, you know, I would only live here if the world gets any more evil. because like it's just getting so bad and I want to live somewhere where people aren't. If like it just keeps going downhill and I don't know, that just cracks me up. But like it also kind of brings me peace. I mean, obviously her soul isn't really there anymore. But like that's where her body rested for the last time in like such a beautiful place. So I was like, hmm.

But yeah, Gina was a very like, I guess you can just say like anxious person. Like her dream like one of her, she's had like no bucket list. I had a bucket list. I have a bucket list. Like, I want to do all these things. And she was just so content. Like, her bucket list was just to get married and have kids and raise a beautiful family and go to heaven. And I think she always, like, or she would have felt so guilty, like, having kids if our world, you know, continues to go the way that it's going.

Yeah. And so, like, yeah, just like her saying, like, if the world gets any more evil, like, then I'm going to live here. But, yeah, that kind of, like, is a good input or a good snippet of, like, who Gina was. She just liked when things were just simple and peaceful, yeah, and calm. But yeah, okay, that was kind of a little random story. But so we were trying to decide where we wanted to go next. And Gina really wanted to see Devil's Tower. Do you know what Devil's Tower is?

No. It's literally just a rock in the ground. I mean, it's huge. It's a whole national monument. Don't get me wrong. It's beautiful. But like, we've already seen it. And I was like, why do you want to see it so bad again?

Like, I don't know. And so the easiest way or like the way that made the most sense to like, go to get to Devil's Tower was to go on this like highway. At this point we were already in Wyoming. Like we were really close to North Dakota when we started. So like a few miles in we were already in Wyoming. And so my dad was like looking at the route and he's like, okay, let's go on this highway. And then in like a few miles, we're going to stop at this little town. So it made the most sense to take this little highway into this town that we were going to go where we plan to eat lunch. And then we were going to finish our way to Devil's Tower. And I just want to say to the highway

I was in the middle of rural Wyoming, so there was like zero traffic, but people probably try to envision of a highway being. Like, no, it was really chill. I think we passed one car and then like one motorcycle group our entire way until it happened. So yes, we had like a mile of gravel road left and then that's where we met the highway. And so we were like, okay, ready, let's go. So then we got on the highway and once again, it was still pretty chill. I mean, it was like twisting and turning like the gravel roads, but it was like such an easier ride

because you're not getting stuck in all this like roots and stuff. Like it was like flat and smooth. Yeah, so smooth. And once again, it felt like a movie. I was like, here we go with my music. It seems like you're setting the scene good. Like I feel like I'm envisioning everything. Well, good.

Yes. Yes, we were riding on the highway and then eventually we did get to see like devil's tower. I mean, it was far, but you could definitely like make out what it was. And I remember like, just like all three of us kind of like clumped together for a second. We're just like smiling and I was like pointing. And Gina was just like so happy. I think she was just excited that she got to see it. Even though once again, I'm like, girl, it's a rock in the ground.

Like, what's so exciting about this thing we've already seen? But I'm glad that she got to see it one last time. And so for most of the time, I was in the front and then my dad, I don't know, my dad kind of went up. My dad kind of went wherever. But I think we had like five miles of highway of just like that payment. A pavement. Did I say pavement? Payment.

Payment. Okay. A payment. And then finally I could like see the little town that we were going for. I'm going to eat at lunch. I mean, I could assume that's what it was just because everything else was so bare. I was like, okay, this has to be where we're stopping. I didn't really know though since I didn't have the map.

But, okay, so we had one. I'm going to kind of explain the roads so you can track. But it was like one more curve and it was like it had like a little downhill. I mean, it was like a huge hill, but a little downhill and then a hill, a little hump and then you're in town. Okay. So that makes sense? So huge. like that. And right before I took, was going into like that last curve, my dad sped around me and was like going super fast. And I was like, why is he going so fast? But like I didn't change my speed or anything. I was still just like, okay, whatever. I think he's just excited to get to town. Right. So, yes, my dad sped off in front of me. And then I went around this last curve. Gina's behind me. And then I was on the downhill. As soon as I saw my dad go over that last hump right into town. Are you tracking? Yeah.

some things. Yeah, so as soon as he took the last hump over town, I was going down on the downhill, I looked in my rear rear mirror. Yeah, that little mirror. And that's when I saw the collision. And I didn't see anything before. I just looked down, saw it. It just looked like a movie scene. That's the best way I can describe it. Like things were just everywhere. She collided with this tanker truck. So like a semi, like the like cylinder. So yeah, she collided on, I think, the back axle of this tanker truck. And, you know, at first I was like, oh, was that Gina? Because you don't think it's going to be. And then I couldn't see like another bike. So I was like, it has to be. And so there's actually, like I said, there was no traffic until

there just like was, or not traffic, but vehicles. So there was the semi and then there was a sprinter van and then a motorcycle group. And then at some point there was a motorcycle group coming from this way too from behind us. So did this, this all happened behind you, right? Yes. She was behind me. She was behind me. I saw it in my mirror. And I once again, I didn't see anything before they collided. just the collision. Yeah. So I was going to turn around on my bike, but once I saw like that other biker group coming in the other lane, I was like, I don't want to try to have to like stay in my lane and because that's just like a really tight turn. So then I just somehow was able to just slut on my bike, I mean, fastly, but and I just like threw my bike to the side. Going back, remember how I said I had

my phone stand thankfully. I was able to just like rip my phone off of my stand and then start running and like I mentioned I was in like these huge like heavy biker boots so they feel like ski boots have ever ever been in ski boots. I'm like running up this kind of like hill to her and I'm whipping off my helmet and I couldn't like find her until she was at my feet. Like I don't remember seeing her until she was at my feet. But yeah, like the whole way up there I was just like praying desperate prayers like Lord like please let her be breathing. Like I just didn't know what it was going. going to be like, like I said, it looks like a movie scene, but I couldn't like make out her in the mess of it all. So I didn't, I just. And did your dad know what happened yet? Or he was.

No, I don't. Yeah, I'll get to that. Okay. Sorry. No, you're good. So yes, I was run up there. I didn't, I couldn't like make her out until she was literally at my feet once again. Still praying, just for prayers. So finally she was at my feet. And at that point, you know how I said there was a bike group behind us too, like in our same lane? A guy from that group got to her before I did, I think just because he was able to like drive right up to the scene. And right away, he just like looked at me. He said, do you know who this is? And I was like, yes. Look at her. That's my identical twin sister. Like, do we not look the same? No, I was like so mad just because I was just in like so much. I don't know. This entire time, it was definitely like an out of body

experience. I just felt like so much shock. I just felt like I was like floating. Like I can just it happened so fast. Yeah. This is all happening within like two minutes. I'm just trying to go into detail to have you understand it more. But. Yeah, so I was like, yes, of course I know how this is. Like, that's my twin. Obviously, I'm just not being respectful because I'm just so concerned for what's at my feet right now. And so, yeah, like I said, he got to her before I did. And so once he said, like, do you know how this is?

And I was like, yes, how's my twin sister. He was like, there's no pulse. And I was like, okay. Hey, I'm Jeremy Schwartz from American Criminal. On this season, robbery gone wrong or cold-blooded murder? Either way, Boston will never be the same. Listen to American Criminal, the murder of Carol Stewart,

wherever you get your podcasts, or to get early ad free access, subscribe in Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or at American Criminal.com. So then I reached down my hand trying to see if there was a pulse at all. This part just like gets me because I just remember, like it just takes me back.

But yeah, I reached my hand down. I don't know where, like on her neck or something. and I was like, oh, there's a pulse. And it was just my heartbeat in my arm because my heart was beating so fast. And I think as soon as I said that, I was like, there's no way there's a pulse. Like that's yours.

And I think he just kind of like said it one more time. And once again, like this entire time, me running up, him like asking if I knew who it was. Like I was still like praying some prayers out loud and just like in my brain too. And as soon as it just clicked with myself, like there's no pulse. My prayer is like switched. I was like, I know she's already with Jesus.

Like there's no. point to wish it back because I know that his plan is final. And it just, I was just like, there's no, there's no need to, you know, be asking for a miracle anymore. And I knew that she was probably, definitely experiencing, like, such pure happiness and joy. And I was like, there's, she's with her, with Jesus. Like, she's fine. So I remember, once again, this is happening within like seconds, but I just switched my prayer. And I was just like, I know she's like already in your arms and just like, welcome her and I was just like I just hope heaven is even more than what she could ever even imagine while she was here on earth. And I feel like the fact that it did happen so fast,

it's so much better that she didn't suffer. Yes. And that you didn't have to see her suffer too. Yeah, it was like a second and the second was probably when I was running. Like yeah. And I do want to say she was on her stomach and then I could see like just this side of her face and it just looked like Gina. Like she just looked like she was sleeping. She just looked like so beautiful. which I'm glad because it wasn't like it like still looked like her and it wasn't like this horrific like picture of her but it also made it so much harder to comprehend because like I said it just looked like she was sleeping so I'm like it was just hard to like accept yeah and to like get it in my brain like no so yes like I said my dad he sped off on that last hump and so as I'm running up

as you know I'm talking with this other motorcycle guy I'm like okay if dad's or dad's not here yet he clearly did not know or didn't see it because he went over the hump like right as it happened. So then I was like, okay, obviously need to call my dad because he would be here by now. So then I called him and he had like this headset on, you know, like those headsets like going ears like ears. I don't know. He had those on so that he could like be able to call people if he was riding or whatever. And but he like still had his helmet on and he couldn't like get his or his earbuds. I don't know. He just couldn't hear me. And so at this point like the biker group from the people come in at us and the back group from behind us.

Like everyone's like swarming. People are collecting. So there's people all around me. I'm just call my dad and I'm like, dad, I'm just telling him, I'm yelling. I'm like, Dad, Gina's in the middle of the road dead. And she's like, he's like, what? Because he couldn't hear me. So I just had to keep yelling it over and over again.

She's dead. She's in the middle of the road. Finally he heard me. The reason why he went over the hill super fast right before me, right before it happened is because he was running out of gas. And so he knew that there was a little gas. station in the town. So he was just trying to make it there because he was literally on the emptiest of empty you could be. So he actually had just turned off his bike as soon as I called him.

And so then he's like, oh my gosh, I'm not going to be able to get my bike to start and then to get back up that hill to the scene. But thankfully, thankfully, once I hung up on him, his bike did start and he just like took off and he actually passed a cop car and the cop went like this to him and he said he motioned for the to the for the cop to come with him and then like a second goes by and the cop must have like gotten the call or something someone I didn't have to call 9-1-1 I heard someone else calling I'm not sure who I think the guy in the sprinter van I could be wrong um so yes all this is happening in like two seconds but the cop actually ended up speeding um in front of him and then my dad was like oh shoot like what if I run out of gas now like he was like I should have like

somehow gotten a ride from him. But thankfully, he made up the hill right after the cop did. And he kind of did the same thing as me. He just threw his bike down in. I don't, it was just, I mean, it's how you would picture a dad to react to be seeing what he was seeing, if that makes sense. He was just yelling and pacing and like going up to her and like, I don't know, just, I mean, he wasn't like touching her, but because we weren't supposed to. But yeah, I would not. I can vividly remember just like what his eyes looked like and what he was saying. And it just like makes my heart sink.

But yeah, I wouldn't wish it all my worst enemy to see their dad like that or anybody like that because, I mean, I was too. But especially like being like a dad, I feel like just like being so helpless, you know, just like. It's heartbreaking. Seeing their kid like that. Yeah, I mean, me too. It's my twin sister. I'm like, I know how to do something, but you just can't. So yeah, once I started, once my like mindset switched and I started having more prayers of like, almost like thankfulness and just like so much peace of like I know where she is.

So I don't need to to worry about her. It's more about like us. Yeah. Yeah, it was like a few minutes. I was probably honestly like 30 seconds. Once again, it's all happening so fast. But my dad was just yelling or whatever. And I just remember him, remember taking him by the shoulders.

And I just looked him in the eye and I said, dad, we're going to be okay. Like we were going to figure this out. and we will be okay. And he just, like, nodded his head. And then he kind of just, like, he both just kind of went silent for like, I mean, the rest of the week. But like the rest of the time,

he kind of just like, was able to take a breath. I mean, even though it seems so hard. But, um, and then eventually the ambulance and the police got there. And something else that really made it, like set in and,

you know, made me understand it or accept it. Was the ambulance got there or the ambulance people? What are they called first responder? Is it? Yeah. Okay. You know what I mean.

They got out and they didn't rush to Gina. They rushed to dad and I making sure we were okay because they already knew. Like it, yeah, I do want to say that the extent of our injuries like CPR wouldn't have done anything. I'll get into this later. But I have like a social media and stuff about like our foundation and about Gina and I've shared like our story on TikTok. And there's like a lot of comments like, oh, why didn't you or why didn't they do CPR or whatever? like sometimes that works and like said if you would have I don't want to this is like the only information I won't share is like the extent of her injuries that's obviously very personal to us

everything else I pretty much share because obviously like helps people understand our story more so yes they I think they just knew that if you were to do CPR it wouldn't have done anything as hard as that is to to grasp especially for strangers on the internet they're like come on and I'm like if you would have known you yeah Yes. So then, okay, once again, this is all within like the first five minutes of it all. It just seemed like forever. And it seems like forever when I'm explaining it. But obviously, I was like, okay, I need to call my mom. I think this is when my dad is still just kind of processing. I mean, I was obviously still processing everything. I still am. But so I was like, I need to call my mom. I knew she was at work, which my parents own a business. They're so silly. They're the best. But anyway, And I didn't know this, but she was in a meeting. So she didn't answer the first time. And then I think she, like, was hanging out my call.

And then she saw, we have Life 360 as a family. And I think she saw the collision notification like, Gina. I don't know what it says. It's basically saying, like, it could be a collision, not sure, check in with them. So she was hanging up, read that notification when I was starting to call her back the second time. So even though she was in a meeting, it, like, clicked with her that something must have happened. So thankfully she answered the same thing. second time. And yeah, like I said, she was in a meeting, but they were able to obviously stop it.

And two of her employees were able to rush her home. We don't live too far from where, like, their main offices. So it only took her like, well, honestly, like, so I was still on the phone call with her this entire time. But it felt like 30 seconds and then boom, she was already home. So her employees must have been driving fast. But no, I'm so grateful for those, for those two employees to be there for my mom in that time. But yeah, she was. got home and thankfully my sister lucy and my brother elire were both home because eli works a job like in the cities in minnesota so he doesn't really work from home but he was that day um lucy's just a busy girl she was always um she plays soccer she to play soccer in college so like she was always at soccer

doing whatever working too and so it was also like a blessing to to think about like that they were both at home when this happened so yes they finally got home i heard my mom um explaining it um to them um and what just happened. And my mom, she's like, her voice was just so calm. I mean, obviously, once again, we're all still in shock. So, like, you have that calmness in you, like, already. But she's, I mean, I've just seen my mom go through, like, a lot of, like, hard things in her life and just the way that she's just so, I don't know, she just brings such, like, a piece. And I'm so thankful for that because I'm not always like that. So it's so good. But yeah, I just remember her telling my siblings and hearing them and hearing their reactions. And, you know, you don't ever want to experience

So yeah, I can still vividly recall like that phone call with my mom. And I was just like, this girl is just amazing. It just made me like, I don't know, just like love her so much more. She's just so strong. And I strive to be like my mom. A lot of people are always like, my mom's the best. I'm like, mm. Not like mine.

Yeah. My mom's something else. I just love her. So, okay. So finally I was able to get off the phone with her. And I think that's when she started calling like the rest of our family and close friends and stuff. Like back home. and I think that's when they all started to come over to our house to comfort the rest of my family who was at home.

Okay. So then, yeah, once the ambulance got there, they were like more concerned about my dad and I. And the heat is hot. So I like took off a lot of my gear and they were like making us sit on like the bumper in the shade or whatever, like bumper of the ambulance in the shade. And I was just like staring out once again, it was still so beautiful. but just staring out and just like, I don't know, obviously all you do is think about what isn't going to happen now. And Gina had all these dreams and visions for our future together, like a lot of our plans involved each other. And so I just remember like staring out at the view.

And I was just one of our biggest dreams was to own like some cafes together where we hire people with and without special needs because that's just we're very passionate about stuff like that. And like I mentioned before, Gina was she was a chef. So that was just like one of our biggest hopes and dreams. And so I just remember like thinking about that. And I was just running into my brain. I was like, now what? Like that's not possible. And so my dad, I think this is when he started figuring or was like trying to figure out

our way or fastest way to get home. And so we were like in silence and I just could not let my brain be racing with like those thoughts anymore. So I then called someone that I was super close with but not like Gina because I didn't really feel like calling our close close friends yet. I just obviously wasn't in like the mindset. Yeah. to talk to them yet.

But I was able to call this person, and we just talked for a little bit. And I remember I, like, walked, like, 20 feet away from the ambulance just so I wasn't right next to my dad. And I just called them and just explained it. And just, like, the amount of shock I was in, I just remember. Like, I didn't cry. I didn't cry for, like, along the first few hours, because I once again, I just felt, like, so, like, out of body and, like, this isn't real.

Like, I always, I mean, in the beginning it's hard, but now I'm always like, it's real and don't let yourself trick yourself in the thing and it's not real or that it's going to change because it's not going to. But yeah, I was just like sitting in, you know, the heaviness of it all and just talking to them and just kind of explained what happened. And then eventually it was just like, okay, goodbye. So I hung up and then went back to my dad. I think this is when the heat was starting to get like too much for me. So the, EMT, so shoot, the ambulance workers were like, hey, come sit in the ambulance because they didn't use it for Gina. So my dad and I went into the ambulance so we could just be like in the AC and stuff. My older sister Lucy is a pilot and that's what she's going to school for right now. And then my dad has its, has his private pilot's license. And then my uncle also has his license along with like some of my other family members. So we have like a few small planes within our family. And so that's how we wanted to get home. on one of our planes. So my dad started calling his brother, my uncle, and was just saying,

hey, are you free now? And I come get us, expand on the whole situation. And thankfully, he was able to drop everything and come fly out, which I'm so grateful for at the beginning. I already kind of have like flying anxiety a little bit, but especially in like our small planes because the turbulence can be like really extra. So I'm like, when my dad first was like, we're going to fly home. I was like, ugh. But now thinking back, I don't think I would have been able to stand an eight-hour car ride, especially like on the road. Was the plane run? Three hours, two, three hours.

So it's still kind of long, but, and then, like, because we're in the air, I don't have the anxiety of being on the road, like, passing all these cars. So that was good looking back. So, yes, my dad was starting to make those plans. And I just was, like, staring at the ambulance. Once again, just, like, in silence, my thoughts were just going and going. And then all of a sudden, this lady came into the ambulance. I was like, who is this? But basically, it was, there was a small little first Baptist tree.

church into the town that we were going to eat lunch at. And so that was the pastor's wife of that church there. And so she came into the ambulance and just said, I am, blah, blah, I'm not going to say her name, just because I don't know if she wants me to. But just explained who she was and then just said, I'm here to talk if you want to. But otherwise, I'm just here for comfort. And I think for like the first minute or so, I didn't say anything. I probably nodded my head and smiled when like acknowledged her. Obviously, I'm not that disrespectful. But obviously, there's so much in my brain, so I just wasn't in the mood to really converse, but that didn't last long. If you know me, I'm a talker. So I eventually just started asking questions like about herself

and about her life. And I learned all of these things about all of her kids and whatever. And she was just such a calming person. I'm so grateful for her. Don't worry. I've told her. But yeah, we barely said anything about Gina or the accident. We just chatted about life. I mean, I think I talked up a little bit about me, but not like about what just happened. So I can't really recall time. But we were talking for a little bit. And then a cop came into the ambulance and needed to like interview my dad and I just for details. And at this point, like, we didn't really know if it was a crime scene or not.

I didn't think it was based off of what I saw. Once again, I didn't see anything before. But I did see like the actual collision. So I was just able to kind of like recall everything that I experienced. We had to like kind of walk him through the night before. and just like, I don't know, just kind of tell them about Gina if that makes sense. I don't, they just have to. And I want to clarify this for everybody.

It was not the semi-diverous fault. We don't know what caused Gina to collide. We don't know if it was like the air change, like going around the curve. And then with the semi, you know how it kind of can like change. You know, like you're going around and it's like, woo, you kind of get pulled closer. We don't know if that happened. We don't know if something caused her to like lose balance or a pop tire. We don't know because her bike was in pieces.

So we don't really know what it was. And to me, I don't care to ever know what really caused the accident because it all has the same outcome. And so I don't need that like reassurance of what really happened because like I said, it all, it all ends the same way. So, but it was not the summer driver's fault. And we pray for him and his family very often because we can only imagine what it's like to experience something like that. Even if it's not your fault, that's so, so traumatic. And I remember we were like talking to the cop and I asked a few times because I, I can, could see the tanker truck.

But I couldn't, like, I didn't know which one was him because there was still so many people like around. But I was like, oh, I want to like hug him and just like tell him that we're not mad and we'll never have any like ill feelings towards him like me or my family. That's just not like the type of people we are. And obviously during the situation that's not able to happen, I wasn't able to like go up and talk to him. So I hope in the near future I am able to do that.

His wife did reach out to us once I started the foundation of Gina. and stuff. So it was good to like hear from her and to just tell her like we are we are just praying for you guys. And like for her too because she has to live with this person and who experienced something super traumatic. I already said I'm hoping to be able to meet him one day and just just reassure him that we and we know it was nothing that he could have like he couldn't have done anything about it. So once we finished the interview, we still had a little bit more time before the corner was coming to get Gina's body and whatever. So we just continued to sit in the ambulance and I continued to talk to the pastor's wife.

Once again, just kind of more about her life than mine. But it was just helping me keep my mind off of things. And my dad was still trying to figure out plans with my uncle trying to fly in and to come get us. Eventually the corner got there and I was not about to leave that scene without like prying over her body one more time. I knew her soul wasn't there anymore, but it was still her physical body, and she was just obviously so precious to me. So I was like, I can't leave here without praying over her, just like giving her one last kiss. So we, this wasn't the cop who, like, interviewed us. It was the cop that got there first, I think.

And once again, we're in a rural town. So he was kind of like this like contrary, like, I don't know, like cowboy, honestly, like this cop. And he was an older guy. and definitely not the best experience with him. Obviously, once again, you know, no one really knew the situation if it was a crime scene or just like how, I mean, what it really was. And so obviously I get like, you know, us going like more around her body. That can be, you know, I can kind of alter like some evidence.

But I was just like, can we please just pray over her? I just need to do that for closure. And yeah, he was like arguing with us at first. He's like, no, you're not able to do that. but I was not about to leave without doing it. So I just asked again respectfully. Obviously, he was just trying to do his job and I understand that. But there was a point where I got so frustrated because I was just like, this is my twin sister.

This is like the last time I'm going to be able to see her body like in this way. And so I yelled at him because he was just like getting so fierce with me, honestly. And I was just like, I just need to pray over her. So eventually I calmed down. He calmed down. And I was able to just, we were able to go. with her. Yeah, I did think that was a little inappropriate because obviously we are our family, but once again, I do understand that no one really understood the situation. But yes, I am very

thankful that my dad and I were able to go pray over her one last time. Yeah, I think my dad said the prayer. I can't remember who was able to function and talk at that time or pretend they're functioning at that time. And then, yeah, I just kissed her one more time on the head. And I think I just said, love you. And hope heaven is more than more than you could ever imagine. Yeah, so we prayed. And then once we were able to leave the scene, I was able to grab all of my gear,

some of her gear that we were able to take. And then there was also one of her earrings, one of her bracelets, and then a ponytail that was just like on the road. They just flew off during the collision. And so thankfully, the nice cop, let me pick it up and take it with me, which I'm very grateful for,

because those things are very meaningful to me now, obviously. Yes, I picked them up. I put the bracelet and the ponytail on my wrists and then grabbed all my gear and the stuff that just like made sense that we need to bring home in that in that moment because my dad also arranged someone he knew to come get like all of our bikes and stuff and like the rest of like our heavy gear so we just really took what we needed to get home like our personal stuff so like I said my dad was looking at like the nearest airports and there was one like right into the town that we were going to but when he was looking

on his like flight flight app. It was saying that it was like had been closed like the last three days. And sometimes that just means they're doing like small renovations on the runway or just something little and where you really can fly in. They just don't want like a whole bunch of people flying in. So they just say it's closed. So the pastor's wife offered to drive us up to the airport and then to stay at their church until our uncle actually landed.

So we were on our way up. And I say up because the hill was like, I mean, The town was located like on this huge hill, but the airport was like at the way top of the hill, the mountain. I don't know what she going to call it. But we were on our way up there and she was obviously driving. And like even in that two minute drive, I was so anxious just like being on the road, we barely passed anyone. But I was just like, so yeah, once again, very grateful looking back that we did end up flying and not driving. Very grateful for that opportunity too to be able to do that.

But we finally got up to the airport. And my dad just kind of got out. and I think it's like obviously they're all like fenced and gate off, but I think he was able to go through like this gate and he just saw it was either like just painted or they put something on the top. I don't know to make sure it doesn't like crack or something. I don't really know. I probably should have asked him, but something.

But I think it was like fine. Like he was like, no, you can land on this. But like he understood why it was still close to like the public. So I think he was trying to call people like at the airport but no one was answering because it was closed. And so he was like, okay, whatever, we'll figure it out. Or there was actually an airport that was like 15, 20 minutes away in a different town, which isn't that big a deal. But like when you're in that situation, you just want to get home as fast as you can.

And so my dad was like starting to call around and like check out other airports like near. But once again, we're still trying to make that airport be the one that he could land at. We just didn't know if it was going to be possible. And so we were on our way back down, down the hill and trying to get to the church just so we could hang out there for the next few hours. and we got stopped by this town worker. And he had already, like, heard our story in our situation. And he obviously, because he's a town worker, he knew that the airport was closed. And he knew that we wanted someone to come and fly and get us.

And he just said, we're going to open the airport and you can come and he can land there. And I felt like so relieved. So once again, obviously, like the nearest airport wasn't that far, but it just felt so far because I was just trying to get home. So I was so grateful for that. my dad was so grateful. And then we just went back down to the church. And we had about like three hours of waiting time until my uncle got there because it's about like a three hour flight. So we obviously had to fly from Minnesota to Wyoming. And I just spent that time, I think in the

beginning, I was like sitting on like the church peas just like trying to sleep, just trying to like close my eyes and rest. But obviously my mind is just racing so much. So I was calling my mom a lot, calling my sister a lot. And then my sister and I were trying to make sure that like all of our really, really close friends heard from one of us. Because I think it was like just a few hours after it happened. And the school found out like our hometown school, they already sent out like an email to everybody.

And so we were like, we just want like our close people to hear from us and versus like an emailer from, you know, a friend of a friend of a friend. So my sister and I, Lucia, were just trying to hear. trying to figure out who was going to call who and tell the news. But yeah, I was just trying to rest, close my eyes, just trying to make my brain from suffering from pacing and from reliving the moment of the actual accident. One of the times I was using the bathroom in the church. Also, I just want to say, the pastor's wife, she, like an actual angel, she was following me

around like everywhere. The church wasn't very small, but like when I would go to the bathroom, it was like located in the back of the church and she always was like walking with me back there. and just like always waiting for me. When I was calling my mom, she was always right next to me, which I was very grateful for because it just, it just like gave me a sense of like peace. And like, yeah, she's not my mom,

but she was giving me like that mom figure that I needed in that moment. So very grateful for her. But yeah, like I was just saying, about like an hour or two after we were just like sitting at the church, just trying to, the time felt like it was like I felt like I was out of the church for like 50 hours. It was insane. But I was going to the bathroom.

and I was washing my hands. I was looking down and I noticed the bracelet that I grabbed from the accent Gina's bracelet, which she made at the church camp a week prior. And it was green and blue, which is her favorite colors. And then it had like a Jesus fish charm on it. And like I've seen her wearing it before, like that whole past week and whatever. And I literally watched myself put it on my wrist like two hours prior. But I looked down in that moment and I looked down at the bracelet.

And I just physically felt this like piece. wash from my head to my feet. It was, it was crazy. And I just remember, like, looking up at myself in the mirror and just smiling. And I was like, how am I able to smile in this moment? But then, so after I felt that piece, I heard Gina's voice say to me, like, you are going to be okay. And yet, like I just said, the fact that I was able to smile after experiencing

what I just experienced and still, like, just in, like, such that heavy grief and, like, shock. It just made me, like, so confident in, in Jesus and in my faith. like and I just knew how much truth that statement held that she said like you're going to be okay yeah I don't really like hear God talking to me that much or whatever like I don't really always hear voices in my brain but like that was Gina like I know her voice and it was it was insane this is off topic but a song that really got me through like funeral planning and just like the first month or so was be okay by Lauren Daigle and my aunt sent it to me after I told her this story about Gina saying

you're going to be okay and it just that song really resonated. with me because I don't know it's like one of the things I've heard Gina saying to me since she's been gone but yes that's just another little godwink and since I've felt that piece especially like this whole process of grieving has just been so much easier because I can really just feel my faith and be so confident in it um okay then I think we were about to leave so it must to we were at the church for about three hours now at this point I already had like a whole bunch of follow requests on like my personal Instagram and all these text messages from people who don't really reach out to me normally. So I was like, oh, people already know.

Yeah, like I said, I called one of my pretty close friends and told her the news and she kind of had the same reaction of me of just like shock and just like no really response. But I was really trying to get a hold of my best best friend and she would not answer and I knew she was at work. But we also have like a lot of the same friends and I just did not want the word to get to her through somebody else. I wanted me to be able to be the one to tell her. So I called her a whole bunch of times and texted her like, call me first or like call me now. She actually responded or once she finally responded. She was like, I'm at work. And I was like, no, call me now. I'll tell the story now. So I don't forget to say it. But this was as we were driving to the restaurant. I'll get to this.

Like 30 minutes. Oh my gosh. 30 minutes goes by. And I was still in the car. And I called. called her and she had the reaction of just like, oh, breakdown and just like bawling and understandably. But yeah, that also made it like really syncing like just of how this is going to impact people and myself and everyone who not even loved Gina, but just knew her because she was just such a impactful person. So yeah, that really made it syncing with me. I very, I vividly remember that phone call and just all the feelings that came with that. Okay, let me go back now. So after I had that whole like Godwink experience in the bathroom, that sounds so weird. Of course it was in the bathroom. But I was, so yeah, the bathroom was like in the back of the church.

So I was walking back. There's like a little hallway. And then it's like the main sanctuary. And in that hallway, there's a sign that says, I can't, I have it written down. I don't know if this is exactly the same. So pastor's wife, if you're listening to this and it's not right, something along the lines of God is the same in the valleys as he is on the mountaintops. and that just really resonated with me because I was, you know, I was on this mountaintop like two hours ago, not physically, but just like, I mean, such a fun time with my sister and my dad and just so excited for my future ahead and like, you know, I was about to go to college and all these fun and new things were happening. And, you know, I felt God so close to me. And then I was in this valley and I felt alone, but because I thankfully had a strong, faithful foundation before this all happened, like when I read this sign, I was like, that is so true. And I was just able to fill him even more in that time. And I'm just so grateful. Yeah. So we were there for about 30 more minutes.

And then I think the town worker who like ran into us, not ran into us, like drove right next to us on a way back down from the airport who said that we were able to fly in. He actually ended up going and sitting with us at the church. But I didn't really know he was there because I was more towards the back of the church, like laying like on the floor like on the carpet and my dad was like in the sanctuary, um, talking with the town worker. And then the pastor's husband, so the actual pastor, um, I think he was just busy. So once he was done with like his work for the day, he was able to come and meet us at the church too. And, um, yeah, the town worker and the pastor kept my dad like a very, um, like company, which I'm very grateful for because, you know, his mind was

obviously racing just as much as mine was. So I was just glad that he had these like two guys to just distract him and talk about life too. You know, we weren't really ever talking about the accident or Gina, but we're just about their lives and just like uplifting things. But kind of random. But the town worker actually lives on a cattle farm, which we actually remember passing on our way because he was longhorns. So those like stick out to you more than just like dairy cows.

But so he was telling us this. And he was like, did you see my place? And we're like, yeah, we think we did. And he was like, I actually just had. We just had this cow who has been pregnant for so long. And we've been waiting for her to give birth. And finally, she gave birth this morning. So on August 1st.

And then around the same time, this is when he heard about the news of, like, Gina on the accident. Because it's such a small town. So the word spread like that. And apparently they named the little cow that was born, Gina, after Gina. And so he was showing me pictures and stuff too. That's so sweet. Yeah, it's super, super cute.

Just one of those little things that just, like, bring you so much peace in that moment. I was just grateful for all of them, honestly. So yes, finally, it had been like two and a half. Sorry, my story was going to all over a place. My brain's all over the place. But it had been like two and a half, three hours of us sitting at the church. And the pastor's wife was like, well, let's just like go get a change the scenery. Let's try to go eat or something. And she actually brought over watermelon to the church at some point too. And I tried to eat a piece because I love watermelon. Do you know what of watermelon like that's our thing and I um ate a piece or tried to and my teeth literally felt like they were going to fall out because that was just like so I felt so sick for like a week after

all this like I could not like honestly like two weeks after I just could not get myself to eat anything understandably but anyway so we decided to go up to this restaurant which was on a golf course yeah and it was like up the hill pretty close to the airport and this is when I called my other best friend Kate, and that's the one who had that like breakdown reaction and who really made it set in more, I guess. Yeah. And so we got to the restaurant. I don't know if the waiters there had heard already just because like I said, the word was spreading so fast or if the pastor's wife like said something to one of them just to kind of like explain why we probably were not like why we were so down at a restaurant. And like I said, it was a very nice day out and I love to be outside. I love to be

in the sunshine so or in the heat so um i didn't like being in like the cold restaurant so we were able to sit outside like on the deck and the breeze was still going and we were like under the um what land too i don't yeah canopy so like the sun was on me but it just felt it was so nice and once again like you know at the view i was just like oh it's still just so beautiful um but yeah i didn't eat anything i think my dad ate one bite of whatever he ordered um and that was it but yeah for the most part, we were just chatting about life or just staring out into the distance. Going back to like the waiters and stuff, they somehow knew because at least one of them, like our actual waitress for our table, like came and gave us hugs.

And I don't know, that just made me feel so loved. And I think they paid for whatever food we ended up getting. And that also really made it sink in just of like now we're the family that people feel bad for and want to do good things for, which obviously I'm very grateful for. But it was just like, oh, that's us. And this is just the beginning of what this is all going to, I don't know, turn out to be. But I think if I can remember correctly, one of the waiters from that restaurant has reached out to me now since the foundation has started and just saying how they all prayed for us that night and continued to pray for us. So very beautiful thing.

I'm very grateful for that. But yeah, so we finally finished our food. Our uncle was finally going to be there in like 10 minutes. So I was like, let's go. And we drove up to the airport and saw him land. And I just wanted to get in that point and go. I was like I want to see my mom. I want to be with my mom.

I want to be with my siblings. Yeah. And I knew like a lot of my family members and friends were at my house too. And I am a very, I don't know, I'm very fulfilled by loved obviously. So I just, I needed to like feel that. Because my dad is a very love in person. But obviously when you're experiencing something like that, you don't really have much love like rating from you in that moment.

I mean, I didn't either. So I was just ready to get home and to just physically, yeah, be with people that I love to I love didn't care about, cared about. Yeah, so we got on the plane. And like I said, it was like a three-hour flight. And I think we, I spoke like two words to my uncle the entire time. Like, we did not speak at all. It was crazy. I mean, it was also getting, it was dark out. So I was getting late. And so we're obviously just tired, but and just exhausted from what we just experienced. But yeah, it was the most silent three hours of my life. And like I said, I like to talk. So I was like, but I mean, I wasn't in the mood to to be speaking either. This is kind of random. But when we did, when we first took on,

it was when the sun was setting and it was so beautiful and I like took up my phone and started taking pictures and then I just like was so guilty I was like how are you able to sit here and and cherish the sunset when your sister just died and then from then on I was like no that is not how you're going to live like you are still living and you are going to allow yourself to cherish all the good and the joy that the Lord is still bringing you because like I deserve that and Gina deserved everything that she got in her 18 years. And really, you know, if we live for the Lord, we deserve heaven. And I'm like she's finally getting what she truly deserves.

So I'm like, no, I'm not going to live that way. Like I am going to take these pictures of the sunset and just sink in this good. And like, especially because I was experiencing so much sadness and grief in that moment. I was so like, no, like your heart light in for a second. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah.

So that's also when my mindset was like. nope, we're not going to live that way. We're not going to think that way. Yes, so we finally got home to our home airport, and that's our mom, my mom, and my brother, Elaine, Lucy, were waiting there for us, and we just hugged and cried and prayed. And then our uncle took off and went back to his house. But on our drive home, that's when I really realized, like, that a family of five looks so small, because it was always the family of six. And we always talked about, you know, family with three kids, like that's so weird. Like, it has to be four, at least. It has to be an even number. But yeah, just like being in there, like physically seeing how much smaller it felt without her,

that was, that was hard and also made it sink in a little bit more. But yes, we finally got home to the rest of our family. G and I have this cousin, her name is Sydney. And she, we always call her our triplet, even though she's two years younger, two years younger in 5'9 and we're 5'2. So we don't really look like triplets, except our blonde hair. But I'm just saying, like, we are a they were super duper close. I mean, I'm so close to Sydney, obviously. And so when I got home and she was there, like, that was another person that I was just so, I don't know. I just, like, needed to hug her. So it was, I mean, good, but obviously terrible, like the situation we were in, but I was just grateful to be with her in that moment. And my aunt. Okay, I just love my family. Okay. I can just

remember, like, how much lighter I felt, like, even though my heart was still at my feet, like, I just somehow it felt a little bit lighter being around all of them. And I'm just so grateful. Okay. So yes, the first few nights, you know, I barely swept. I cried, but I was still in such a shock state where I just didn't really, I couldn't really feel anything because she was my actual better half. Like, I'm not joking when I say that. Like, she had all the good things about me, like in her and more. But thankfully, I've had zero nightmares about the accident, which, like, thinking back in my past, that is really rare. Like, I've had, you know, semi-traumatic. things happen to me or like, you know, sad, sad things happen to me. And I, like, always

nightmare, or have been, have nightmares about them. And they're always, like, worse than what it, like, actually was. So I was really scared about that. And so I would, I was, I would always go to bed the first few nights and I still do a lot, but just praying, like, Lord, like, help my mind to just be at peace and at ease, like, help me to have good dreams and, like, dreams about Gina. And, yeah, thankfully, I have not had nightmares. And, like, I do not think that's just, like, you know, I think, like, I know that's from the Lord. He is genuinely protecting my mind as I sleep. And not only have I not had nightmares, but I've had two dreams of Gina talking to me. I'll kind of go through them quick because I just, I don't know, they just make me so happy to think about. Yeah. So the one that I, or the first one I had

was the morning of her funeral. So about a week later, I couldn't see her, but I could like feel her and I knew she was like above me. So like in heaven. And I just said, hey Gina, like are you in heaven? and she said, yeah, I'm in heaven. I could just, like, hear her joy, like, through her voice, because like I said, I couldn't hear her, but, or see her. Did I say hear her? See her. And I just said, like, oh, did you get to talk to Jesus?

Did you get to meet him? And she was like, of course I did. And then she went on like this whole, like, rant about it and like the experience. And I cannot recall, like, anything about it. But like I said, I just remember, like, how much, I don't know, you could just feel her joy, like, radiating through, like, the word she was saying. And especially that. being my dream the morning of her funeral. That brought me so much peace that day to just be able

to go through the motions. And it gave me a lot of strength and a lot of reassurance of like I know where she is. So I don't need to worry about her. Obviously, I am heartbroken for all of us here on earth that have loved her and been around her. But like we all know that she is at peace and just fine. So that brought me a lot of peace. And then this was probably like two months after she passed. So flash forward and then I'll go back. But I have another dream. I won't get too into details. But we were doing something with like all our family members and like all of our cousins,

all of my sister or my sister or whatever, my mom, my aunts. And Gina was like there, but she like looked like like an angel. Like she was like glowing, but she was like down with us and we could like see her. But she was like invisible or like you could put your arm through her. And so like. Um, yeah, she wasn't, we knew she was like in all my dreams that I've had about her that like she isn't talking. Like, it's always like, oh, Gina's dead. And that's it. But like in this one, I could, we could like all see her. And like as an angel. Um, and at one point in the dream, we were doing something really fun all together. And Lucy, my older sister, like, looked at her and she's like, do want to come back to Earth and be here with all of us? And she was like, no, no, no, I do not. Like I just, mm. And that really has like stuck with me. Like, the joy that. that heaven is probably bringing her right now is not even comparable to all of her favorite things and most top memories of her time here on earth.

Like, I know that heaven brings so much more joy. So, like, why would she want to come back here? But, yeah, that really stuck out to me. And I do remember this was also part of the same dream. It was just me and her at some point, or me and the angel. It was her, though. And I just, like, looked at her and I was like, oh, my top question that I, like, want to ask as soon as I get to heaven and see her, if she could see me on the road, like, when it first

happened. And so I asked her, I said, I was like, Gina, could you see me when I was on the road, like, by your body? And she just said, yeah, and got, like, really sad. And, like, her head went down. And I, like, tried to ask more questions. And she was like, no. And I think, though, I mean, the Bible says that you really only experience, like, joy and happiness in heaven, I think, you know, if this is all true in my brain or whatever, the signs that I've been given, like, I do think she did see me and especially because I remember how I said how my mindset switched and I started praying a different prayer

in that moment. I think that's probably like when she was okay. People who have gone to heaven and back say that they're like they can or they get lifted up like their soul and like they're another actual being and then they kind of like get flipped around and can like see their physical body dead and then like everything around it and then that's when they go and meet Jesus. And so like I think when my mindset was just switching is when Gina could see me. Sorry, this is probably getting so confusing. Yeah, it makes sense.

But, yeah, and I think... The ones that get it, don't get it. Yeah. So, though I believe she's experiencing so much joy and happiness in heaven, like, I do think that moment, like, still sticks with her. And so I think, I don't know. I just think that's still... Probably because she did see me.

No one wants to see anybody. Right. Yeah. Yeah. And so I didn't ask her any more questions. Like, I just, like, left it be, and then, yeah, my dream kept going. But yeah, so those are just little, Godwings, little dreams that I've had since then. So the day after the accident, so on August 2nd, our church put together like a little

remembrance service already just for our community. And mainly like people our age, like close friends and stuff to be able to come to our church and just share stories about her and just to be together to cry and to hug each other. And I was expecting like, you know, a good, amount of people to be there. But no, I got there. I think it started at, I don't know what time it started, but we got there like two minutes after it started and the parking lot of our church was just like full. And I was like, this isn't even the funeral. This is the day after. And like mainly for people just our age. And so yeah, I got in there and it was, I'm so grateful for our church for putting that

together and just being able to just come together and just like, like obviously we were all mourning Gina and like the loss of her, but we also did or a lot of people did share like good and funny and uplifting stories about her. So that was just good to take my mind off of, especially just being the day after. Yeah. But then just that the week after was, you know, every single day, there was all our family members there. A lot of my friends are always there at my house, which I loved. That didn't overwhelm me at all. I love when people are next to me, so that was good. And yeah, just a lot of our time spent just staring at the wall, staring at, I loved to be outside. I just, like I have mentioned, a million times. I love the sun. Like it really fills my soul. That's why I'm not living in Minnesota

the rest of my life. But yeah, we just spent time funeral planning, just coming together, just reminiscing really about Gina and her life. But just trying to, I don't know, just encourage each other to just keep going. Like this was just the start of our grieving process and, you know, what our life is going to turn into. But yes. So, Oh, a little thing I vividly remember saying. I think it was after the funeral. I don't know, a week or two after the accident. One of my friends was at my house.

And I remember looking at her and I was just like, I'm so scared for when you all aren't going to be here and to be here for me physically. Like I'm just scared to like be alone. And I just never thought that that would be like something I would be able to do just to be alone. because like I said, G and I shared a room,

but it was upstairs and, well, my cousin, Sydney, she did stay with me, like, for, like, a long time after, like, the weeks following. But, like, there were some nights where I had to spend alone and, like, those were already hard. So I was, like, having to experience, like, the daytime. And, like, I don't know, just, like, long periods of time of being alone. I was just scared.

And she probably just reassured me and whatever, but I just never thought I would actually, you know, be okay, being alone. but flash forward like a month I was finally home by myself um for like a few hours and I didn't realize it like when it was first happening but like an hour went by and I was I like physically like physically like step back from whatever I was doing and I was like you're alone and you're fine and you're going to be okay and yeah there's going to be hard moments and you're going to feel lonely but like it was just such like a reassurance of like you're going to be okay and though Gina you know you did everything together and she was your actual other and better half like you can still function

without her. Because yeah, June and I always talked about like, oh, I wonder who's going to die first. And I always, like, I was always like, oh, I'll die first. Because I thought that would be better for her, like, so that she could still be experiencing life. But, like, I would never wish her to experience what I've had to experience, like, since her passing. So, but yeah, we always talked about being, like, the oldest twins alive. That didn't happen.

But, yeah, it just, it was a good, it just, I was just like, okay, you're going to be okay, even though she's not physically here. Yeah, so it's a little random. But yeah, okay, going back to like the week after and funeral planning, I planned like almost every single detail of that funeral just because Gina was my twin. I knew everything that she would want. So like whenever someone asked me a question, I would like pretend I was like her and like, okay, what would Gina want? Not, you know, what would serve me or my family the best? Like, no, what would Gina like the most? And so one part came in the in the planning. Obviously we were trying to find a church of where to have.

have the actual funeral service and we knew it needed to be a big church. So our church was out of the question. I mean, our church was pretty big, but we're like, it's going to be pretty big. So I was thinking back and I was like, well, Gina, we weren't Catholic. We're Lutheran technically. Our dad was Catholic though. And we've been to Catholic churches and services and stuff. And every time we've been to one, you know, always just like talked about how beautiful the churches were and just like how she just loved like, I don't know, just like the Catholic faith. And so I was like, well, Catholic churches are huge, especially the ones near us, so we could do it at a Catholic church. And I said this in a room with like all a lot of my aunts and uncles and my parents and my siblings,

and they were all like, well, yeah, but you're not going to be able to have your like Lutheran service at a Catholic church. And I just, I remember looking at them and I was like, hmm, okay, let's not worry about that right now. Let's just ask because I know the Lord will work all things out. And guess what? We end up having it at that Catholic church that I wanted to be at in the, from the start. So everything did work out. Just another example of how Lord really does work all things for good. And I just reassured my family, like, we do not need to be worrying about these things.

Like, we'll ask. And yeah, if that's the case, if we can't have our service, we'll figure it out. But for now, let's assume that that's going to happen. And I'm glad that that did happen. So, yes, funeral planning. That was, it was really healing for me to be able to, like, put that together. I'm not taking all the credit in my family and a lot of friends and people from our town. and played a huge part in planning too

and like the actual day of too. So I'm very grateful for all those people. But yeah, I was just very grateful to be able to just like sit down and just I don't know. She didn't get to get married. She didn't get to plan, you know, the best day of her life.

Like her wedding or whatever, welcoming her first kid into the world. So I was like, because she doesn't get to have that, I want her funeral to be like the most beautiful thing ever. And if you knew Gina on a personal level, like she was just the most uplifting person ever. So I was like, I don't like we're wearing green and blue. wearing her pair of colors. We are not wearing black. Like if someone comes into wearing black,

no, I'm just kidding. But no, like I said it from the start to everybody like my pastor and stuff, like keep the message very uplifting and just like really showcase and honor like who Gina was and like how, I don't know, just her outlook on life and stuff. So we really stuck to that. And yeah, so the funeral came. It was, it was a good day. It was honestly exhausting. But like I said, it was as beautiful as a funeral could be. Everyone was leaving in saying how it was the most encouraging funeral they've ever been to, and they mean it. And if you want to hear what I'm talking about, you can search up Gina Shaver Funeral on YouTube,

G-I-N-A-H-S-E-H-A-F-F-E-R on YouTube, and just watch the funeral because it really does, well, we've heard that it's truly inspired people and to grow in their faith because of the way Gina lived. That's how we all need to live because we aren't guaranteed to just go to heaven. when we die. Like you have to work your way there. And Gina did.

And that funeral really showcases like how she lived. So I really encourage you all to watch it. I had a ULG that I said and then, or that I had said, talked. I don't know. And then my dad also had a ULG and then Gina's best friend, Pauly, which Polly is also Wyatt, Gina's boyfriend's sister. So yeah. So we all had eulgis.

They were all a little different, but just explaining, you know, who Gina was, our relationship with her and just, you know, what she did in our lives and stuff. And then also, so the church we had at the Catholic Church, they had peacocks on the altar and on the wall. And Gina's favorite animal, since she could speak, what's a peacock? And, like, I've had a whole bunch of different favorite animals in my life, but, like, she was always very consistent. Like, peacocks are my favorite animal. Okay. Well, very cool, because, I mean, after she died, it got brought to awareness that peacocks represent everlasting life or eternal life. And so I'm like, wow, that really correlates that. And they're just a very beautiful animal. But yeah, like I just said, there were peacocks on the altar at the church and, like, on the back wall.

Like what church just has peacocks? It was just so odd. But, yeah, another little godwink. It was just so beautiful. So, yes, that's basically the gist of like the funeral. But I really do encourage if you're feeling inspired by her story at all to look up her funeral because I will link anything. I'll link that and I'll link anything else that you want to. Yeah, that'd be great.

Now I'm just kind of explaining me now and like my life and like my plan. Gina's accident happened on August 1st and then we were both planning to go to school just like the end of August. So it was only like two or three weeks before I was supposed to head off to college. And just in that moment, I wasn't prepared and like all the ways mentally, physically. Like I was just like, no, like that just I don't think that is what I'm being called to do right now. Now, like I could have gone this spring semester in 2025. But I just, I don't think that would serve me. I was only going for business and marketing, which I just already had like a very business.

and marketing, like, oriented mind. So I'm like, if I was going to be a nurse or an engineer, whatever, yes, obviously I would go to school. But like right now I just don't feel called to not waste, but kind of waste my time, money, energy on going to college. So I've kind of just shifted my focus on other things and kind of switched around like my dreams and stuff of, you know, once something like this happens, you really like reevaluate your life and like.

And education will always be there. Right. You can always. I can always go back. Yeah. So yeah, I'm like in the middle of all these things right now. And I'm like, I'm not going to stop it to go study a business class. You got to listen to yourself and what, you know, the direction.

So yes, when it first happened, the only reason I didn't go was because I just was not ready. And I could be, or I am ready. It's just not, I don't feel like that would serve me at this, at this time of my life. So then one of like the things I've started since June's past is the Live Like Gina Foundation. And I started that not even a month after she died. And I think that's just because I was just like, Once again, if you knew her, she was just such an uplifting, beautiful, like, faithful person where, like, if she wasn't able to, or now that she's not able to physically impact, like,

all of these people, like, in the future, you know, what we had planned for her or what she had planned for herself, like, I want to be the one to do that. Like, just because she's gone doesn't mean, like, her legacy has to be gone. And, like, as her twin, I felt like a very heavy calling to do that and to just share who she was with people. So at first it kind of just started, like, in our community, we had some sports, sports nights like at our high school that were live like Gina themed. So we sold merch and all that,

which all of the profits from merch go back into her foundation. But yeah, those were really beautiful nights. I was able to like speak and just kind of share my story. Because our small, it's like medium size sound. So like people know stuff. The word spreads, but not everybody knows, you know, me and especially like my story. So it was really cool to be able to have those nights in honor for her and to just share and our story.

But yes, and then see, at that point I just had the Live Like Gina Instagram and it was just kind of posting on there. I didn't really have like a main point yet, but I was just trying to just keep her name out there.

And then I don't know when a couple months after I was able to create the Live Like Gina website, which is live like Gina.org. And our mission is to honor the beautiful and faithful life that Gina Lillian Schaefer lived By doing this, we hope to encourage others to live like her, be kind, helpful, and loving.

Make this world a better place by making yourself a better person and prepare yourself for eternity in heaven. So that's like the gist of our foundation and why it's a thing up and running. But yes, so like I said, we do sell merch and then obviously just like when donations come in, all the funds go to individuals, families, organizations that embody the Genoa Way of Life. And we strive to spread love and kindness through financial gifts and like serve projects. So yeah, we've given just like checks to families, organizations, and stuff. But we've also done a few serve projects and we'll continue to do that in the future. So yeah, that's like a little more just as like the website and just more about the foundation.

But yeah, for me now, like personally, my goal is to just honor Gina with all that I do while glorifying the Lord with everything I do, which obviously I've always wanted to glorify the Lord with my life and all the things I've done. But I don't know. Like I said, just after experiencing something like this, it really helped me think about, okay, what was I put on this earth for? Like, what do I want to, or what does the Lord want me to do? And so now my goal is to do that. Yeah, I just want to share our story in hopes of encouraging other people going through similar things. I want to raise awareness of feeling joy and sorrow at the same time because I feel like that's not talked about. It's either like you're grieving or you're not.

And no, like they very much so coexist. And honestly, it's important that you allow them to coexist. Because some people are like, nope, I'm grieving. That's it. And like, no, you need to allow the joy to. And like you said to not to feel guilty when you find those joyful moments. Because I know not everyone has this mindset that I'm very grateful to have. So I want to just share that with people.

Yeah, it's very important to allow yourself to. Because some people will like experience joy and they'll be like, they'll just ignore it. Right. I don't deserve that. You do deserve that. You deserve that. Yeah. I mean, how else are you going to get through it?

Right. Right. And your loved one would want you to. Absolutely. Yes. So one way that I have been able to really cherish my joys is to start a joy journal. I share about this a lot on Geno's foundation. But I'll just kind of give a rundown of what it is in case any of these people listening want to start one of their own. But either find by a journal or like a daily planner and then every single night, it just kind of you take time to reflect write down at least one joy that you experienced during the day. It can be so small, so simple. Or, you're just kind of, you take time to reflect. It can be so small. Or, you take time to reflect. It's just kind of. You take time to reflect. It can write down at least one joy that you experience during the day. It can be so simple. It can be so simple. It can be so simple. It can Or it's like some days, I'm just writing and writing and writing because the Lord bless me with so many joys that day. But especially when you're like facing a storm, it's so important to once again go back and be like, thank you Jesus for what you gave me. So a joy journal is a really good way to do that. So I encourage you to do that if you're a person who struggles to experience joy and are in like some sort of storm, whatever that may be. It's important too to end the day on a positive moment. Right. Yes.

Then you go to bed thinking about all that good. Exactly. Yeah. Because even if like the bad during that day felt bigger, the joy is still. more important and it serves you more so it's good to think about that as you're going to bed versus all the bad obviously.

Yes. Yeah, that sign that I read in that church the day of that said the Lord is the same on the mountains as he is in the valleys. Whatever is it earlier. Yeah, like though

earthly things happen, worldly things happen and we get thrown into these valleys sometimes the Lord doesn't want us to sit there forever. Like it is not your job to sit in your grief and in your sadness forever. Though it's not wrong or bad to sit in your grief and your frustration and your sadness to obviously process those emotions, it is wrong to force yourself to sit in them forever. So I just really encourage you.

It's like it's rude to yourself. Like you're still alive. And I think too people, unfortunately, if people don't have faith, they are too stuck on the physical. Right. Rather than the soul. And I'm not trying to spread this at all. But if you're not faithful, like even just knowing that, like, even just knowing that, like their spirit is still here.

Absolutely. Don't. Like when we left Gina's physical body, I don't know if I said this. Or like when we saw her like in her casket driver or like when we were leaving her for the last time. Like I was like that's not Gina. Right. Like it's not like yeah. Obviously they don't get to be with you physically on the day to day.

But like they are still there. They are still here. If anything, they're closer. Which is like so cool. And they're in a better place. It's a very cliche thing to say. Right. But it's true.

No. Because there is so much. Yep. Some people when they're grieving or like losing someone, they hate to hear that. But no, like, I love people say that. It is very true. Yeah. And that's what she would say. And though I want her here, I'm so she deserves to be where she is. So why would I sit here and be sad about, yeah, yep, yes, you get it. I'm glad you get it. But yes. Okay. Yeah. What really keeps me going, which is kind of ties in with like the whole finding joy, is that I make sure I am a happy person with sad moments, not the other way around. Okay. I'm not a sad person who experiences some little bit. things like no. Don't allow the bad to control you as a whole. Because I even consider the day of

the accident a good day if I think about it because more of the hours in the day was good than bad. And so, yeah, I just really let myself, like I let the joy really sink in and overtake me, even if I had three hours of really like a really tough time or whatever happened during that date. Like I just let the little things overtake me because why wouldn't you? honestly at the end of the day. And then I do just want to shed some light on this. Like I've mentioned, I have social medias for all the Lake Gina foundations. And I've got a lot of comments and, you know, people commenting like on like the story time video and stuff, they're like, oh, she's smiling.

She doesn't actually care. She's not affected by this. Like, oh, you actually didn't see me crawled up in a ball last Thursday, bawling and praying for understanding during my situation. And so it is talked about, but like not enough. But really, I just, it really frustrates me when people on the internet try to make assumptions off of a three minute video. Because, yeah, I am devastated. And I miss my sister literally every second of the day. But like we've been talking about, I'm not going to let myself just sit in the sadness because that's not fair to myself.

And so, yeah, when I'm on social media, I'm going to try to like share this light and this like outlook I have on it. And that doesn't mean that I'm not trying to fake it and not say that I'm never sad. Like I am very open on social media's and stuff like last week. I did post about how I had a rough week and just kind of explain like how I went about it. But I'm just saying, do not assume. Let me tell you this. Yeah.

First of all. Two things. One, there are so many miserable people. Yeah. That no matter how you react or what you say, you could be the most perfect person and they'll still find something. Right. That's number one. Number two, it is so amazing to be able to, at any point in your healing journey, to be able to sit there and be so positive and so bright and so happy.

You are literally like a light of just bubbly happiness. And I rather watch that and watch somebody talk about their experience like that than somebody that's just still like so sad. Which like that, that's normal too. Yeah. It's not wrong. But you're the farthest thing from wrong for having the way that you handle and go about speaking about your journey. And I just feel like people will find anything. Yep.

And never, ever, ever, which you know, obviously. But don't ever let that get to you because that is just, they have no idea. Yeah. And like I said, to be able to sit here and, you know, sit on your own platform and share your story that soon after. Yeah. And be able to see so much positive. Right. That is so uplifting. And that should give so many people faith and encouragement because people lose people every day. And even on the flip side of the people that you said that they maybe didn't know her personally, but maybe they knew her through school or whatever else, it's very traumatic and scary to be so young and lose someone so young, even if you aren't close with them because it kind of puts into perspective how fragile life is. Yeah. And you can't waste a second. You can. Not preparing yourself for heaven.

And I think that you are such a clear example of that. And you really have done your best to reflect on who your sister was. And you do such a great job of that. Thank you. So if anybody says anything mean? Yeah. Yeah. The first few days, it was really just the first day when it was like blown up.

I was like, oh my gosh. Like, maybe they're right in another mouth. And that is the downside of social media. It can be so good. Yes. But that's like, there's good and evil. And like, you know, but don't ever let that take. take away from.

Yeah. No, no, no. I'm like, mm-mm. Nope. You don't know me. Right, you're not bringing me down. You're not. Yeah.

And, but, you know, on the flip side, there are, there's this community that I'm building, especially on TikTok, which we'll see if this is posted if this is, if it's banned, whatever, it's just social media at the end of the day. But, like, there are so many beautiful comments when I scroll through just saying, like, how you really brought faith back into my life and just, just, just saying, not even a third faithful person, but just saying how it inspired them and just really help them in their, yes, right. Yeah.

So if we had more of that, more people like you and like your sister. Yeah. The world would be a better place. Amen. Yes. Yeah. So, yes, if you're once again interested at all to follow along on our story, my story, we're on all social media.

So Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and then there's a website. And the social media is at Live like Gina. Live like Gina. Hopefully they got that. Yeah. Are you going to put it down? Yes. Otherwise, live like Gina.

Make sure you, I'll remind you if you forget, but just anything you them. Send them and I'll make sure it's in the description. Perfect. Sounds good. Otherwise, live like gina.org is the website too. And then, yes, so my kind of dream and goal now is to just go travel everywhere and anywhere to share my story, to share our story and just this outlook that I have on grief because not a lot of people have it. And I'm very blessed that. I do, but I want to share it with others. I'm not going to be gatekeeping this mindset that I have. Like I want to, I want everyone to be able to experience this. So if you have a small group, a church, a school, family, a podcast even, that you think would positively be affected to hear my story, go to live like Gina.

org, find the contact page. And then there you can email me directly. And then I can get in contact with you to discuss plans and whatever. But yeah, I would just love to do that. I will travel near and far to share. Preferably where the sun is right. Preferably like down south or their sign. no really wherever um yeah so that's kind of oh my my goal my dreams right now um and then i'm also

currently in the process of writing two books oh amazing i mean i don't know when they're going to be published or anything that's great i'm like it's only it's been less than six months dinas so i'm like okay wait got a calm back but um no yes go it well yeah yeah i'm just saying i'm like why have it why isn't it published yet i'm like well girl right you're so busy but um yeah so one is just like about our story about like our childhood. I dive a little bit more into like our childhood and who like my family is. And then the story I go into details. It's going to be a short book. It's like four chapters. I think in like the long run, I'll have, I'll write an even more detailed book and whatever. And then my second book that I'm writing now, writing right now is a 30 day devotional. And it's all

about focused about finding joy in your grief. And so yeah, this one's very targeted towards people who have who have lost someone. But once again, in the future, I do hope to write more. But another book just about finding joy in life too, not just grief, because I know not everyone faces a storm this heavy or even just like losing anybody until like way later in life. So I, yeah, I don't know. I just, I've always been, like I said, a happy person with sad moments and not a lot of people think that way or are that way. So I want to shed light on that and to be able to like put it into words on how you can,

how you can do that. And then like I mentioned before, G and I led worship at our church. So singing has always been a huge part of my life. Gina and I have recorded songs in the past together, which I'm very grateful to have. But music has really, like, I mean, I've always had a huge love and passion for it, but it's just, like, grown since she's been gone.

And so I've written some originals, like, about Gina and that's just kind of just like my mindset and stuff. But then it also recorded just some, like, covers and stuff too with songs that have really resonated with me. Those also haven't been released yet because I've, you know, it's been so soon. But in the future they will. So if you're interested in any of like my music or I'm writing or anything,

my account on Instagram is Dinah Lillian music on Instagram and TikTok. Yeah, Dinah Lillian music. So yeah, I'm not sure when all those will actually be released. It could be in a long time. It could be in a month. I don't know. But stick along because I, it'll be there. It's going to happen.

It's just men. Yeah. And then just one more thing to kind of send everybody with is the only few. this really resonated with me, like, right after she died. But the only future your loved one or loved ones got robbed from is the one that you or that they made for themselves. Because the Lord had this plan all along. We just didn't know what was going to happen yet.

And it's right. Even if we don't want it to be, we don't, I didn't want Gina to die 18 years old. But I know that that was his plan all along. And like, I'm grateful now that I can understand that. I pray that the rest of my future becomes more evident to me because I'm just trying to go through the flows of. of life. But yeah, just know that we always make all these plans for ourselves, which is fine and normal. Like we're supposed to make goals and dreams like I am doing right now for ourselves, but just know

like in the end, the Lord's plan is final and it's right. And so really allow that to to bring you peace and confidence because even though we face storms, like they're meant to happen and they're meant to make us stronger. So yes, just trust them with your whole heart. And it does get easier if you allow it to. I remember like the first day after. I was like, oh my gosh, am I going to feel like this forever? I know. It's not even been six months yet and I already feel like I'm able just talk about it.

And I don't want to say it gets easier because it doesn't get easier to like think about, but you just get stronger as a person and just like, I don't know, just the way you, I don't know. But once again, that is how you decide how to handle it, how to grieve. I think it's healthy too to be able to talk about it. And I think it is a huge part of, healing.

Yep. The more you talk about it, I think, like you said, the stronger you get. Yep. And the more you can reflect. I'm sure every time you talk about it, you can remember more good memories. Right. Reflect back on, like you said, more positive than the negative. I mean, you sitting here this whole time has been all positive.

You know, it's like, and obviously it's a very traumatic experience. Experience. And you wouldn't wish it on anybody. But like I said before, it really does go to show how you can take something. and just make the absolute best out of it. Yeah. Well, you did amazing. Oh, thank you.

Thank you. I'm so glad that you wanted to come on here and share your story. Like I said, I'll put everything down below. And thank you. Seriously, was there anything else? Thank you for letting me come on here. And I'm so glad that you have like this platform to be able to show us. Of course.

Seriously, I appreciate it so much. Yeah. Thank you.