We're All Insane - Retired Drug Dealer

Episode Date: May 1, 2023

New customers get $5 off a Lume Starter Pack with code INSANE at https://lumedeodorant.com/. That equates to over 40% off your Starter Pack! CW: This episode contains discussions of addiction, SA, DV, and miscarriage.  According to a 2019 report by the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime, cannabis is the most widely used drug globally, with an estimated 192 million people using it in 2018. For years, Kristina grew and sold cannabis products throughout the United States. There are many risks involved in selling any kind of drug, including legal consequences, violence, and relationship strain. Now retired from dealing, Kristina details her experiences from getting arrested, to experiencing drug-induced psychosis, and later, finding a new lease on life.  Kristina: https://www.youtube.com/@kristinapineda999 If you have a unique story you'd like to share on the podcast, fill out this form: https://forms.gle/ZiHgdoK4PLRAddiB9 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey guys, it's me DeVora. I just dropped an all-new bonus episode inside my new subscription channel, We're All Insane Plus. This week's bonus episode is called My Brain was Slipping into my spine. Listen now by subscribing to We're All Insane Plus inside your Spotify or Apple Podcasts app or go to we're all insane.com. This episode is sponsored by Loomie, a doctor-developed, skin safe, pH-balanced, aluminum-free deodorant. Customers get $5 off a Lumie starter pack with Code Insane at Lumie Deodorant.com. That equates to over 40% off your starter pack when you visit Lumidotron.com and use code insane. Hi, my name is Christina and I am a retired drug dealer.

So I was born in Fountain Valley, California, and then my family lived in Anaheim. And we could see like the Disneyland fireworks from the apartment and stuff, but it was really expensive and really ghetto. So I was born in 92, so I'm 31. And then we moved to Laughlin, Nevada in 1993. And we stayed there ever since. I'm the middle of three, but I also have a lot of half siblings that are older. Okay. So like me, my brother and sister, we have the same parents. And then I have three other sisters and two other brothers. Okay. And were you close with all of those? of them? Some. Okay. Um, my one, I have some siblings that came here from Mexico, the half ones. Um, and then one passed away before I got to meet him in Mexico. And then I have another sister down there.

I have two sisters down there because one that came here got deported. Got it. So I feel like my life up until that moment was like, like we were poor, you know, but not, I feel like my mom convinced us we were poor, but we weren't. My parents worked really hard. We were always fed, clean. We had what we needed. Yeah. But when we moved to Loughlin, we lived in like the hood, you know? Okay. And then we graduated to the next hood. And then they worked and worked and saved. And then we got a house. Okay. But like I said, my one sister, Maile, she came here late 90s. And we were stuck on each other, right away and we're 10 years apart. And so like she was here.

She went to high school a little bit. She didn't do very well, but she wasn't very educated when she came here. Yeah. So she just started working and there's a lot of casinos where we live. It's like a mini Vegas. Okay. With a river. It's really nice.

Yeah. And then she started hanging around with the wrong crowd and started dabbling in drugs. And then she was in the process of becoming. being legal this whole time. She came here illegally, like snuck over here. Right. Like my dad and my family has. But yeah, they went down, I think, I believe it was, it was near the border somewhere. So I believe like Texas. And she had to pass like, I think it was like American history type stuff and a bunch of things, but she needed to pass a drug test. And she failed. My parents had no idea at all. Yeah. And so on the spot, they're just like, you're going down in Mexico. You guys are going home without

your kid. And so like I remember when my parents came back, they were by themselves. I was like, what the heck? Yeah. And so we got home. We stayed literally up the street. So our parents picked us up. We went home. And my dad was crying, like hard when we got home. And I had never seen my dad cry before like he's like a strong mexican man he's little but yeah he's like stern little macho man yeah my mom's six foot my dad's like five four but um yeah he was crying and they basically told us like myely got sent back because you know and i didn't really know much about drugs yeah but the messed up part is she had told me like oh yeah i my friend like we were sniffing this i thought it was coke like later on but Later on, somebody had told me it was met, so I don't know.

Okay. But she had told me when I was little, like, she was active in, you know? Was she 10 years older? Yes. Okay. Got it. And so she had told me, but I didn't think, like, to tell my parents or anything. Like, I had seen her smoking cigarettes in the backyard when I was nine.

And I was like, I'm telling. And she's like, you want to smoke one? And I was like, sure. Yeah. So, like, I'm not going to tell anymore. She wasn't the best influence. But when she got deported out, I would, like, abandonment issues. because like she was like my my like woman female figure because me and my mom like when I was

younger my mom was a little mean so like we weren't the closest but um yeah I just felt really abandoned yeah and I stuck it out for a few more years where I started like getting in trouble and all that because when she got deported I think I was 10 so like I was a good kid but I still was like even more so attached to my dad because I was always a daddy's girl and then when my sister was gone I was like oh you know but I definitely became like a stage five cleaner yeah because of that right and you never got to say goodbye either it was just very sudden and I didn't talk to her for a while after she got deported to maybe like over a year wow she her English like she didn't really speak she spoke well enough but like when I talked to her like she didn't remember she remembered I love you that was it yeah so like

she taught me a little bit of Spanish but like broken you know okay so you're not fluent at work they're like oh Christina Spanish person right person I'm like okay but so you know it but not like everything okay yeah I'm not fluent but like I'm decent got it I continue to like be a good kid like you know everyone does good in elementary school but I was like the student body president stuff like I was a good kid I got good grades and then like you know school actually starts getting a little bit in middle school. So, like, I still did all right. Then I got to high school, and I was like, okay, this is getting kind of hard.

Yeah. I was getting, I was becoming, like, very, like, different and unique. I was an artist. I had all types of awards for my artwork, and I was just really different from the kids. And I used to always cut up my clothes and patch them and all types of stuff. And me and my sister were kind of known as being, like, a little conference. You know? I was more so like, I'll bark, but she would beat people up all the time.

But yeah, I started getting into like a little bit of like a rebellious stage. Not really getting along that great with my mom. Like just being a little bitch. Yeah. And I started working when I was like 15 just because like I said we weren't poor, but like my family was always sending money to Mexico too. So like we had everything we needed, but like I wanted my own shit. I wanted more. So I started working when I was like 15 in the casinos, a little fast food place like

Sinabon, Vascon Robbins. And then, yeah, I struggled in high school with math really bad. Same. When I was a senior, I had four math classes. And one was like specifically just to help you, like, tutor you in every aspect of math. It was called math apps or something. but I felt like in Nevada they don't do anymore but um they had proficiency exams and subjects you have to pass and the math one I kept failing like one point one point I honestly

think they just were like pass her along it's fine right but so I didn't get to walk in my high school graduation because um I wrote a rap on my space like ginkster raps now you know yeah but I wrote it back then No, that was not a lot. And what the school saw it? Somebody's parent, I think turned it in. Okay. And then Metro, Las Vegas, Metro Politan Police Department runs Loughlin too. Okay.

Because it's like a township. Uh-huh. So Metro wanted to charge me with like domestic terrorism. Really? Yes. Oh my God. Yeah. And so I was like they were and like we had family friends that were in Metro and stuff.

Uh-huh. So they were like, you know. Yeah. They dropped it down to like disturbing the people. use of a school or something. But they didn't let me walk at graduation or anything like that. But were you still able to graduate and get like... They gave me my diploma.

Okay. And I even went to try to like see the ceremony and the cops took me out. They're like, no. So that kind of sucked. Yeah. I worked really hard for that. And in my family, obviously, graduating high school is important. And so like I felt kind of bad about that, like disappointing everybody.

Right. And then, um, like a month and a half later after I, after I, got out of school. We call him our brothers. My brother's best friend. He died in a car accident. He was in town actually from college. He played college football. And yeah, summer break got to a car accident. And like that really like that like messed me up to where I was like. And that was your one of your brother's best friend. Yeah. But like he was like my mom like helped raise him. I was like our brother. Right. You guys were close with him. Yeah. And I was kind of. I was kind of. of like well like fuck this like it was like too way too sad and like the whole town of loathlin

and like i was already like kicking myself for like the school shit and all that so i was like okay i'm gonna go across the river and i moved in there with my family and my cousins were not good not good influences. And yeah, started just like partying, you know, drinking, smoking weed, all that. And I'd only stay there for a couple months. And my aunt was like, no, like,

you got to leave, whatever. I wasn't working or anything. Right. So, yeah, I went back to Loughlin, but I tried to go to college. And I stayed in a little bit, but I started at the beginning of 2011. All this happened in 2010.

Okay. So at the beginning of 2011, 2011. I'm my best friend. She was a recovering meth addict when she moved to Loughlin when she was like 14. I didn't know anything about that. She was just a year younger than me. But at that point, I was 18 and she was 17. And I don't really have anything going on. You know, I was like, whatever. So she got me to try meth and I was I was 18. Yeah, this was right before I turned 19. So you were 18 at this point. Yeah. And it was. And it was. weird. We were like, it was just me and her in a room, you know, and then like some fucking older

guy comes and it's just weird. And I'm like, I don't like this. And after that, I was like, okay, we're not, I'm not, it's not for me, whatever. So fast forward to like the fall of 2011. I had this guy on Facebook for a while. I don't just some random guy that was friends of my friends. And he messaged me and stuff, but he wasn't like spitting game or anything. Like, how are you? Whatever. And so, I was going to go to this, like, Battle of the Bands at one of the casinos. And so, like, I went, whatever.

And he was like, oh, I'm going to be there, too. And so, like, he gave me some weed and some hash. And I was like, I'd never really seen hash that much back. And I was like, what the heck is this? But, yeah, after that, like, I didn't, like, start talking to him because he gave me weed, you know? Right. But he was, like, a normal guy. He was like nerdy.

Yeah. Like kind of business oriented type of vibe. And so like... I'm Anna Garcia, host of True Crime News, the podcast. Every week we bring you in-depth coverage on cases making headlines, as well as those that go under the radar. Tune in for murders that defy explanation, mystery seeking exploration,

and shocking secrets that will leave you breathless. Each week we honor the victims by going beyond the salacious in our search for justice. Crime never stops and neither do we. Listen to true crime news available now wherever you get your podcast. So he was just like good and normal to talk to. Yeah. Yeah.

Seem that way. Good. No. But anyway, so we start talking, whatever. And then we start like hanging out. But the thing is like he was a virgin. So he wasn't like trying to flow. You know, right?

You're just like, well, let's see where things go, whatever. And how old was he? He was 21. Okay. And you were still 18 at this point? 19. Okay. And so like we would always hang out at the riverside, this casino, hotel.

You never go to his house. He lived in like the next town up the highway. It was probably like 30 minutes away in Arizona called Golden Valley. But he had never taken it in my house. I don't have people over because he started telling me he grows weed. else, we, he's weird about people coming to his house. I'm like, all right, that's fine. So eventually, like, after a couple months, like, he starts to realize, like, I like this girl, whatever. I wanted to come to my house. So, like, whatever. And he's like, you want to come to my

house. At that point, I wasn't like sketched out or anything. I was like, sure. And he's like, but you have to be blindfolded. And I was like, okay. Bro, it could be, it was literally the desert. He could be taking me out, throw me in a mine or something. Yeah. And so like, just, I'm like, have a shirt over my head or something and my head's like down, you know? And then he's and then he's like, before we started going up there, he told me, he's like, and I'm going to take your phone too. And I was like, oh, whatever. You know, he's super paranoid. I understand, you know. So we get there and it's like this big, like, maybe like a double wide trailer or something manufactured home. But it's not, it's not like ghetto or anything. It's nice on like, I don't know, maybe.

five acres. There's a garage. We go inside and we just went to Sam's Club so we put a bunch of stuff in the kitchen and then he said, I want to show you this. And two bedrooms were completely filled with weed plants growing hydroponically

and I was like, whoa, this is cool. Yeah. And so he just literally started teaching me the ropes, you know, how to grow it, how to take care of it, how to cure it, how to sell it, everything. Was he just showing you this just because you were curious or did he want you to help him?

He wanted to help. Okay. Yeah. He's like, I got myself a nice little Mexican girl to work in my garden. Yeah. Straight up. And later on down the line, I'm like, did he ever give a fuck about me or did he just need an employee? But so like I would stay up there and he would take me home.

I guess I'd say for a few days and it was always the same, you know, blindfold, give me your phone and all that. So you never really saw for a while where you were going? for a long time it could have even been like it could even been like over a year maybe wow it was a long time and um so yeah um we weren't just like growing selling this weed locally we're shipping it all over the country maryland was like one of our top top payers yeah that's funny um but yeah shipping it all over the country you know vacuum steal it and then like i was like i was was teaching him like we can wrap it like Christmas presents and birthday presents love Nana and all this so like it was legit yeah um was he paying you to help them so you were just doing it just yeah um

he would you know feed me started buying me tattoos like I'm just his girlfriend I don't have to work we work together type thing so you guys were like dating at this we started dating I'm probably like October, it was October 2011. Okay. And then so like, um, all the way through 2012 was fine. You know, we're doing the same thing. And then, um, February 2013. Okay. I remember we had started to like transform the whole garage into like a really legit grow. Like there's beds like raised grow beds just full of like hundreds of little plants. We had sealed the whole garage off so it, we could fill it with CO2 and it helps the plants and all that it was really cool but the strain we picked was not good it was like blackberry cush and like we were trying and trying and trying and so one day

we're like we're going to rip these all out tomorrow like screw this right that morning um i guess the electric company came like really early like seven and we have a roommate who's like he just would play video games all the time on the computer and watch Watch the security camera. That's all he really did. Right. He liked that life. But he, the like electric company came and was like, your guys' bill is like crazy.

And he was sketchy. He was like, oh, I don't know. Like I have another space heater running or just some excuse that was not. Yeah. Not good enough. Yeah. So the electric guy, okay, for sure. Leaves, calls the sheriff.

They thought it was a meth lab. but so after the electric company come or whatever maybe they were coming already the sheriffs or whatever but it's like the guy's name was Mikey he like came and knocked on the door and was like the fucking electric company was just here it was weird blah blah blah and my ex was like my boyfriend at the time was like it's whatever you know he didn't like to wake up early so and then um But Mike was like, I have a bad feeling. So we got up and as soon as we get to the living room and look out the window, there's like a line of sheriffs just coming down into our fence.

And it was a lot. It was probably like H. I got chills. It was a lot. And my boyfriend told me go. I had my little dog. It was like a little pit bull. He was cute.

He's like take couple and go in the room. And he told Mikey go out there and talk to them. and he dipped out the back door. He just left. He just left, literally. And he took a bunch of cash. We had to stack $100 bills just chilling. He took that left and just took off.

The cops, they don't even talk to him like you. They immediately arrest him. They come into the house without a search warrant. They basically were like, they were thinking the dog was like aggressive, but it was like a baby. Yeah. And I was like,

please don't shoot my dog like please don't shoot my dog and um there was a lady cop of course lady cops feel like they have something to prove yeah something and they have a permanent attitude she manhandled me i you can't see because my tattoos but i had like scars on my wrist really handcuffs and stuff and she rolled up the windows with smoking cigarettes just fucking with me my shoulder i had had surgery on it so like wasn't a hundred she had them all twisted and I'm like laying on my side trying to like my shoulder not hurt outside the house for a while and then finally like a sheriff comes like a male one comes to check of me and he's like what are you okay like and he looked at my hand goes he's like what the

fuck I guess they were like twisted so they're like super short and just all messed up so he hooked me in the front he put me another squad car with Mike he took us to jail and they didn't find your boyfriend at the time right because he just Totally dipped out. Okay. And then also, sorry, not to interrupt you. Were you living there at this time or you were kind of back and forth? Well, at this point, I was pretty much living there.

Okay. But of course, like, no, I wasn't living there. Right. You know? Yeah. And so they kind of like believed that I wasn't living there because I didn't have much there. But it's kind of beside the point. When we were in, I was in jail for like three weeks.

My bell was half a million dollars. because it's Arizona weed was super illegal there was a bunch of guns and other type of weapons in the house a bunch of cash just so you basically took the blame in a way

well me and Mikey had the same charges it was like um and like cultivation cultivation with intent to sell um possession of a firearm like just it was like six felonies and so like I was in there I was miserable

Like, I'd never been to jail. I wasn't scared. I just felt so detached from the world. It's just not a good feeling. Yeah. It's like you literally don't exist, but it doesn't matter about existing, but it's like, literally it's like you don't. Like, if nobody comes to visit you or anything, it's almost like, what's the point?

Right. Like, what is going on? Yeah, it's like you're just existing at that point. Yeah. Being there. Yeah. So did you guys say that the boyfriend was a part of it or you just didn't? Okay, so you just didn't even.

They were looking at. for him. Okay. Heavy because his car was in the driveway. But you guys didn't rat him out kind of thing. No. Okay. Um, they never found him.

Really? Yeah, we got released and we went and we saw him and all that and everything was like. That's crazy. His sister, um, worked for an attorney at the time. Okay. Um, so she kind of like, we were set up right. Like, well, we both got, we all three of us got good lawyers. Um, I think my lawyer.

cost like $40,000. Like, I don't know. It was crazy, but, and I ended up getting pregnant, like a couple months later when all the charges were still up in the air. Yeah. And so, well, I knew I didn't want to have, want to have a kid with this guy, even at that point because I was like, I don't know. Not good, yeah.

And so, like, I got an abortion. I was like, it was fine. And then I got, like, whatever it's called, not sentenced, but. like I went to like my final court whatever and um it was in like fall and this happened in February so like it took a while and all my charges got dropped really except for possession of they charged a possession of drug paraphernalia for having this little jar of Rick Simpson oil which is like for cancer patients and stuff in my purse but I don't know why they charged it with but nothing with like the weed or anything like that okay I was on

probation for like three years but that's like whatever it was unsupervised um but literally we only we didn't really miss a beat when i like when i got out of jail it was like a couple weeks later we didn't just go from growing we went to growing mushrooms and also extracting which is like weed concentrates like wax dabs i don't know if you ever heard of that um so at that point in Arizona. We were just doing like the mushrooms and so we weren't growing. But we're extracting and doing the mushrooms. And we were extracting super dangerously back then. Yeah. It's called like open blasting where you run butane through like a glass tube. But it goes in the air. If you own plug something and it's a spark or something like your house will blow up. Okay. And we did that for years. No

problem. So when you got out of prison or jail, were you hesitant at all like going back to doing this kind of stuff? Or you were like, oh, I got off. Let's just keep going. Um, Honestly, like that was my job. That was my career. So I was like, all right, we need to figure out how we're going to keep doing this. Okay. And so at the end of 2013, so we stayed with his parents for a little bit too. And that was not good.

But at the end of 2013, because I got arrested in February 2013, at the end of 2013, at the end of 2013 after the end of 2013 after the and all that. He had me rent it in my name because the last one was in Mikey's name. Mikey took the fall. This one will be in your name. One will never be in my name. And I was like, okay. And so the thing is, I have a tumor in my pituitary gland in my brain, but it is not a big deal. I get headaches and my hormones are imbalance. Like I know it sounds really bad, but it's not. So I got a house in this town called Needles, California, which is literally like half hour drive from Laughlin. And it's known as like a big weed city,

especially because it's on the border of Arizona and Nevada, easy to get in and out to the dispensaries. And so I got a house there. It was an actual house. It was in a manufactured home. And it was like four. big room there was like three kind of like den living room type rooms and then two bedrooms it was an tile house um the the doors were extra wide like handicap accessible and it was kind of an older house

but just perfect for growing weed yeah like tile floors whatever perfect and at that point I went to apple valley California and got a because my tumor a medical medical card okay it's called a doctor's recommendation. And I was able with that one, the particular one they gave me, I was able to possess 10 kilos, which is 23 pounds approximately, and grow 99 plants. Oh, so you were able to even grow. Yeah. I love California. Yeah. That's crazy. Right. And now a word from our sponsor. All right, guys, if we are being honest here, our underarms is not the only place that can develop odor. and that is why Loomi makes deodorant for pits, privates, and beyond. Loomie was created by an OBGYN and is a uniquely formulated pH-balanced deodorant.

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But that and the wipes, they are in my car 24-7 and I'm telling you, I always smell fresh as can be. As a special offer for listeners, new customers get $5 off a Loomie starter pack with Code Insane at Lumidotorant.com. That equates to over 40% off your starter pack when you visit Lumie Deodorant.com and use Code Insane. That's a $5 discount off a Lumi starter pack or over 40% off when you go to lumidiodorin.com and use code insane. Now back to the episode. Yeah, so we started growing there. And then I also got into breeding boa constrictors.

Very strange. I know. That's crazy. I actually saw, I kind of saw it popping out. I was like, wait, I want to see that one. Yeah. How was that? That's crazy.

Well, my ex liked snakes. Uh-huh. And he was like, oh, and then we started with corn snakes. Okay. And they were really lame. They're like always flighty and just lame. And then we did leopard geckos, like the super giant ones. That was fun.

We had like relatives of like the world's biggest one and stuff. They were so beautiful. They like fit right here. That's crazy. But the boa constrictors, I really, I actually really did like them. And we would breed like high end ones. You could sell for thousands of dollars. That's wild.

And so that was a perfect, legit. cover. Right. And yeah, it was my thing though. The bow is I was the face of it. It was all me. And my ex liked to take credit for everything. So I don't know why he did that. But I was I was more personable on like Facebook and social media because our business was all on there. Right. Now you can't sell snakes and shit on Facebook. Yeah. I don't think you can even ship reptiles as much as you used to be able to. Right. Yeah. The laws like changed. It's one of the reasons why like I got out of it. But yeah, I did that for a couple years. My brand was called Counterculture Constrictors.

That is so good. That's really cool. Yeah, I loved it. But it's a lot of work. So that was kind of like the front of everything. Okay. Yeah. But it was a lot of work.

I'm sure. And I also, I had like 45 at one point. And I also at this point started doing trips to California to pick up weed. Okay. Because what we were growing wasn't enough. Mm-hmm. So I would go and I would go pick up snakes too. We had heated seats in the car like it was perfect.

Yeah. So the business was doing well. Yes. And we got into fishing too. That's actually the first thing that like put I think my ex on the map with the IRS maybe because we paid cash for a brand new boat. Yeah. So I think that's when like I think that the IRS started like more monitoring.

Right. everything but um yeah we got a boat got into fishing my ex ended up moving my boyfriend at the time ended up moving to Vegas because we were in the needles house for a while he ended up like moving full time to Vegas I think in like 2017 okay and he he basically said like oh well if you sell all your snakes like you can come with me and I was like um okay Why? Why? Why can't they come, whatever? And I don't even remember what he said. I could tell he just did not want me to come. And so I knew I wouldn't be able to sell the snakes all quick like that, whatever. So I actually moved back into my childhood home in Laughlin. Because my parents wanted to sell it. And I was like, I don't want you to sell it. So you're going to be living there alone? Yeah. So I was living there alone and we were fishing a lot. I would go to Vegas a lot. And, um, there's a bait and tackle shop in town in bullhead it was called hillbillies bait and tackle and um basically the guy got sick and he got a hold of me and my boyfriend he was like a character

he was like a big country dude from like Tennessee had like one googly eye and yeah he was a character but he was like hey like i'm sick my wife says like like i need to stay home like Like, would you guys be interested in buying the shop? And my ex was like, sure, yeah. But I was going to buy the shop, me. Like, everything was going to be in mining. And I don't really know why he wanted to do that, but I was like, okay, whatever.

I think you just didn't want to deal with getting the business license and setting up all the taxes and all that stuff. Because he moved to Vegas to start. a CBD company with his friends. And so, yeah, I was doing the shop, you know. It was fun, but at some points it was really difficult to be a woman and a male dominant, you know, business, hobby, whatever. And where was the shop? In Bullhead City, right across the river in Arizona.

Okay. And so, oh, when we lived in Needles, by the way, like when I was doing those trips of California, My ex was cheating on me. Yeah. With like, because he was a virgin when I met him. So, like, I'm not shocked that he would cheat. I know that sounds fucked up. But he was cheating on me with, like, um, like prostitutes and stuff.

And I'm like, I don't know. How did you, did you just like, did you find out? He got a new phone. And I picked up his phone. And there was like, hey, this is so and so from back page. Yeah. Yeah. And so like, at that point, like, in my head, I was like,

like okay I'm literally for the most part just in this now as like my this is my career right but I I love really hard so like I honestly like looking back I was never in love with him but I loved the life that he gave helped me get because I came from like like nothing you know and I was going to say to it it probably gave you a sense of like security like knowing like I have him here now you know what I mean to like lean on in a way yeah yeah after I got the shop and he was in Vegas and all the time I knew he just started doing his own thing because I would go to like his condo and fine girl clothes yeah and just pieces of weave in the trash can dark-ass makeup wipes that's not me like and it's Vegas you know that shit's everywhere accessible his all his friends

they weren't faithful to their girls they were doing whatever they were doing whatever they wanted. So he just hopped right into that. And, um, but yeah. And then once he, I had my shop, like I definitely, he was there. He would come visit. People thought he was the owner. You know, I just ran the place, whatever. And, um, yeah, it was cool. You know, I really liked having the shop. But like I said, there was a few difficult situations. Um, I had to start carrying a gun because I used to breed um we when we got the shop i'm sorry i'm gonna left this out we i got out of breeding snakes i sold them when i basically right around when i got the shop okay and then we started breeding um micro-american bullies like the cute little baby puppies and so like when i would have them at the

shop like there's a lot of tweakers in bullhead like people just off meth or whatever yeah and um there's a couple times or like i could tell people were trying to like they wanted to take my dog dogs and shit. And so I started carrying a gun and all that. Right, because it was just you there a lot. Yeah. And one of the main reasons, too, I also wanted to start carrying a gun was because I was actually sexually assaulted while I owned my shop by a customer. But like I was fishing with my friends. They're actually, they live in Pennsylvania now, but like close to here. But I was fishing with them. it was my friend and her boyfriend and their daughter. And we're fishing at the lake.

And this dude was like, I told him, I always tell people like, oh, where I'm going to be fishing if like we are okay with other people coming, whatever. So this guy was like, okay, well, I'm going to come. He came into my shop literally just to buy fishing line. And he wasn't weird or anything. He was just normal. You know, he wasn't trying to flirt with me or anything like that. And I freaking left out. I got weight loss surgery the day before I bought my shop.

I used to be 350 pounds. Like, I got that weight loss surgery, got the shop, and just like everything in life started going really fast after that. Yeah. But anyways, we were fishing at the lake and this guy came, you know, I remember that day I caught my biggest large mouth ever, like, it was a good day. Yeah. And then we were leaving the lake and I was like, I'm going to go to the river and hit

Davis Dam. It was like, really good fishing. And my friends were like, oh, we're going to go home. to go home. I was like, oh, it's fine. Like, I'm going to go by myself. And then the dude was like, oh, I'll come. I was like, all right. He's been fishing with this already. Whatever. So we're down there fishing. We use lures, not bait. So just cast real, cast real. And this dude just like getting closer and closer to me while I'm fishing. And I'm like, okay, whatever. And then he started touching me, like hand down the back, ass and pulling me close. And I'm like,

No, I literally was fully clothed. I had my phone in my pocket, my $300 fishing set up. I jumped in the river to get away from him. Literally. He didn't give a shit. He got in that river and pulled me right out. And like, I was like kind of, I wasn't, I didn't lose a bunch of weight by then. I was still probably like 250 or whatever, but this dude was like strong.

Yeah. And yeah, it was like he was like trying to kiss me and all types of weird shit filling up on me. And I was just like trying to push him away. At one point, I was like, just grab your allure and like his face with the hooks. Right. But like I was, it was weird because like I wasn't fighting as much as I wanted to. Like I was really like just like kind of frozen. And nothing happened besides him like trying to kiss me.

But he like was trying to pull his pants down and like, oh, do this. And blah, blah, blah. So like I didn't tell anybody about that. I was like, okay, that was fucking terrible. I didn't even go fishing for a long time after that. Right, it's traumatic. Yeah, but this dude kept coming around. Okay.

And he, like, insinuated like, oh, I'll tell your dude like that. Like, I'll tell him, like, we hooked up and we're having sex and all them, like, but we're not. Yeah. And like, it was like a long time. Eventually he raped me. And it turns out he also raped, like, he raped. like a trans person in our area but it's weird because this guy is like middle eastern super like he would drink and talk shit about gay people all derogatory and all that but then he ends up like

reaping a man that was in the process of turning to a woman I don't know this dude had major problems yeah did you end up telling anybody about it or not in the moment no but um I started carrying a gun and just kind of like at that point like he was even fishing with my boy boyfriend like on our boat and stuff like he was just like next level manipulative threatening just he was scary yeah I was gonna say he probably felt trapped too yes and he had like a like a freaking german shepherd that was kind of scary and like a lot of guns and it was just bad like I eventually started carrying a gun like I just started telling this dude like I don't even give a fuck if you tell my boyfriend leave me the fuck alone stop coming around yeah and like

I started hanging around, like, and this guy was like into like producing music and stuff. And I started hanging around like his cousin who introduced me to my boyfriend's cousin. And he was like underage, he's like a little SoundCloud rapper or whatever. And once I started hanging out with them, because one of those kids like knew that guy. Yeah. And it was like, oh, he's a fucking weirdo, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And so once I started hanging out with those kids who kind of knew. knew about him, he started leaving me alone.

Okay. And, um, but yeah, I, I grew up with my boyfriend's cousin. And then, um, later on his little brother, his other cousin introduced me to him. Okay. Um, I remember they, I got this bandana made for his cousin with his little sound cloud rapper name on it. And he was going to come to my bait and tackle shop to pick it up. Yeah.

And he walks in with my boyfriend. And he had on, like, a t-shirt and, like, swim shorts or something, like, basic with, like, some, like, super old Jordans. I was, like, like, enamored. I was like, this guy is, like, beautiful. Like, and I'm not, like, I don't really go off, like, physical. Yeah. And I was like, first of all, I don't even know how old this dude is. Right.

Chill out. His cousin's 16. Like, what the heck? So he had just gotten out of prison. And it's weird because in this kid's bedroom, his cousin, there's like people's signatures all over the walls and like writing and stuff. And there was this one that I loved. I thought it was so cool.

It was red and it said Skyler, his cousin, I was like, who did that? And he's like, oh, my cousin, like he's been in prison right now, blah, blah, blah. And it was him. And so like when he got out, like, I was just like, wow, like this guy is really good looking. And like so, but I hung out with his cousin. like often like almost every day and he was staying with his cousin so I started hanging out with him every day like literally from the day we met with an exception of like a couple months we've spent every single day together basically well at the first like two years like and then um

there was one point where he was like um at the at his cousin's house one day we're just hanging out and he was we were drinking or whatever and he was like um can I kiss you and I was like, no, like, no, I have a boyfriend. Like, what the heck? So at this point, you were still involved in helping the other guy, right? Yeah. Okay. And I didn't even mention.

When he moved to Vegas, God, I'm rushing way too much. You're okay. But when he moved to Vegas, he got into the dark web. Okay. And selling on the dark web. And basically, he taught me how to do it, like encrypting messages and setting up, like, setting up like all the transactions and mailing all the stuff out yeah we never well i never accessed like the scary dark web it was like the drug dark web okay but it wasn't even like

heroin and bad drug like drugs drugs on there it was mostly like we were part of the community that was like natural you know so during your time of do of like basically growing and selling and all that it was weed mushrooms and then the concentrate the We'd concentrate. Okay, got it. And so, like, it was kind of scary, you know, because I had heard of, like, Silk Road and Dark Web stuff before. And, like, the whole process itself, it wasn't scary

because it was, like, what we were doing on, like, a massive scale. Right. And so, like, learning the encrypting messages and all that. Like, it was actually pretty easy, and I'm not savvy tech, but tech savvy. But, yeah, and thankfully we're doing this out of, Vegas. They have a billion post offices. We started, we got a label printer, you know, it looked like we were working for eBay or something, but we would take trash. We had a, we had a big truck. We had a Chevy Cruz at the time. I would feel, I would have like two big trash bags in the back

and then one in the front, just the little post office boxes or bigger ones, whatever size. Yeah. Put them in the mailbox, drop them off. But the thing is, when we were doing this at home, I used to walk them into the post office. Okay. That was a little nervous. But I did it for years. And I swear, I seen one post office lady sniff a box one time. She literally was like, she looked at me and she put it in and I knew she knew ever since then. So like I tried not to use that post office.

Yeah. But I did. Nothing ever came of it. So were you profiting from what you were selling or he was mainly keeping all of it? Well, that's the thing is like the money was always like in his control. So he was basically just making sure you were. provided for. Yeah, but the thing is, like, if I wanted, like, a new outfit or, like, some makeup

or something, it was kind of like, you don't need that. Yeah. So eventually, especially when he started cheating on me, I'm fucking, what is it, Rogue, Rouge, whatever at Sephora? Yeah. Yeah, like, sign me up. I was doing whatever I wanted. Yeah.

Because I was working hard for what, you know? Right. And were you making money when you were working at the shop? Yes. Okay. And that was kind of like. The fucked up part is. I would make money at the shop, pay my bills, pay the shop bills, pay his bills, his rent in

Vegas, his car insurance, all that. Sometimes I'd be like, the shop money is not enough. Right. Like, what the heck? And why couldn't he pay his own stuff if he was? He's just too lazy. Yeah. But most of the time he wouldn't give me money.

He'd just say, oh, pay with the shop money. And he was just basically keeping the money from what was being sold. And he lived lavish too. Yeah. And he was a big dude. So we would eat a lot, like, expensive meals. How far was he, once he moved, how far was he from where you were and, like, where the shop was? Hour, less an hour and a half, so a hundred miles.

Okay. And, but there was time, it was got, when I got my shop, there was like weeks where we wouldn't see each other and stuff. Okay. There's been a lot of people in my family that have worked for me and my ex, my boyfriend at the time. So whenever there was something that, like, I, I shouldn't be doing anymore because there's something else more important. or whatever, like growing, pass it off to one of my family members. Yeah. Dark webbed pass it off to a few family members, both sides.

And then when I got the shop, that's when he was like, okay, you're not going to do anything illegal anymore. Because the shop is our legal stuff. That's what your boyfriend at the time said. Yeah. Okay. People used to always say, oh, they use the shop for money laundering. I'm surprised. He doesn't even like that.

He wanted you to stop with the other stuff. Yeah. That surprises me. But it's because we got other people to do it. Okay. Like hired replacements. Yeah. And at that point, I think he realized like, damn, this sucks having to pay people and stuff.

So, like, that's how it went. And, like, he would be salty about, like, paying sometimes or just, like, overworking them. I'm acting like they're not doing enough. He just was not a fun person to work for. Yeah. So when I started back to when I met my boyfriend now, I would all, I was hanging out with his cousin-in-law and younger kids. And a lot of people were like, why are you hanging out with these younger kids? Like, that's weird.

You're like 27, 28 at the time. And it's like, these kids, like, they don't, where is his parents, you know? And his best friend was our fishing buddy's son. And it's like, these kids need guidance, you know? And the one, his cousin was on probation. So, like, I even had a program set up at my shop to where he can do his probation community service through there. Like, his probation officer would come. It was cool.

Like, yeah. But then, like, we started partying. And my boyfriend, well, at the time, he wasn't. He had just got out of prison. And we were just hanging out, you know, like, at his cousin's house and stuff. And I remember they were at my shop one time, like, helping me price tag stuff and all that. that. And I asked, Skyler, my boyfriend at the time, I was still with my ex, but I was like, we should hang out or something. And he was like, okay, yeah, whatever. And then it was getting

like later and later in that day. And I was like, okay, well, obviously, we're not going to hang out, whatever. I took a shower, like got in bed and it was like 10. And he messaged me. He's like, hey, like, do you want to hang out? And I was like, okay. Sprung out of bed. And so, like, he had some, I wasn't drinking, but he had a beer with him and stuff. And I remember we're like looking for something to watch. And we saw, he saw dazed and confused. And he's like, oh, have you seen this? And I was like, no.

And he's like, what? Yeah. You've never seen dazed and confused. And I was like, no. And so like we started watching it. And like, I had never cheated on anybody before. Yeah. And we're like a little snugly, whatever.

And yeah, like I was with my ex at the time for at that point it was we had been together for almost seven years. Wow. And I had never cheated on him or like anybody else in my life. Yeah. And I know this is very forward, but like I asked him, I was like, can I suck your dick? Like he was kind of like, I don't think anyone's ever asked him that. And he was kind of like, yeah, like, okay. Yeah.

So like, whatever. And that happened, you know, and like, it wasn't weird or anything. Like, we're comfortable or finish the movie, whatever. And I took him home. I was like, okay, I know he asked me, like, can I kiss you one time? But I was like, this guy does not want me. Like, he just got out of, like, prison. Like, he probably just wants to, like, get late or whatever.

But he was, he was, like, fucking bitches when he got out of prison. Like, while I knew him from the time I met him to, like, when we got together, like, I already knew of like a handful of girls he got with, you know? And it was whatever because like I was in a relationship. I didn't even get jealous or anything. And yeah, we're just hanging out like every day, you know. I knew like my ex was doing whatever he wanted. Yeah.

And he had told me at one point like the only way like I'll ever leave you is if you steal from me or cheat on me. And like. Even though he was. Yeah. And he didn't find out about. about me and my boyfriend, like, until like, I think after we broke up. Okay.

But I, um, I had my nephew, which is actually my ex's brother's girlfriend's son. Okay. His name is Robert. But, um, he ended up moving in with me. And then Skyler ended up moving in with me. And my ex was kind of like, whatever I don't care. They're helping pay the bills. Yeah.

They're these kids, you know, to him. Right. These kids. Plus, you said your boyfriend now was doing his own thing anyway. It's not like you guys were. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

And so, but the thing is, we were partying a lot. Okay. And we were drinking or doing acid, ecstasy, you know, like, whatever. Step and lean, you know, just like typical sound cloud rapper vibes. Yeah. And there was like a whole group of kids like that would all part. party all the time. They might have parents that are there, but are they really there, you know, like for them emotionally and all that? And I felt like I did that for a lot of the kids, especially

a lot of the girls. Yeah. And they, all the girls, like, oh, my God, you're so pretty, you're so nice. Like, because you know how a lot of girls are just bitches, you know? And so, like, I would, they'd come into my shop and we'd do each other's makeup and just, like, fun stuff. It was, felt good to be like there for the kids one day we were me robert and scyler were at in and out i don't know if you've heard of in and yeah and my car like would not move like broke down and there was these these guys in the in a truck behind us it's like a like a skinny black dude like some old mexican guy and so like the little skinny black dude hops out and he's like oh do you want me try to help you and so he's like trying to it wasn't working but he was like yeah you're fine like

What do you guys up to, blah? And I was like, oh, nothing really. And he's like, oh, for sure. But he's like, oh, do you guys do X-T? And I was like, yeah, sure. So he gave us, like, a little bag of, like, a bunch of random pills. And so, like, we exchanged numbers and all that. He was from California.

He was just coming out to, like, hustle. And so, like, he came out again the second time. And, like, the place he was staying at, like, fell through or whatever. And so, like, he was staying with me. And we had security cameras because our dogs were valued. Right. My ex probably just like to keep tabs on everything. But I remember I let that guy stay there and I told him to not go in the dining room

because then he'll pop up on the cameras, you know? Yeah. Because of course my ex wouldn't want a grown-ass man staying there. Right. And so this guy was like trying hard to like get with me or whatever. Meanwhile, I feel like I'm already starting to fall in love with Skyler, no, Kapp. even though we're not even, like, we were hooking up here and there, and, but we were still very much, like, doing our own thing.

Right. And in my mind, I was like, like, to me, my boyfriend, like, he's, like, on a pedestal to me. Like, he's, like, so attractive physically and just, like, everything about him, like, who he is, his heart and soul. So, like, I at that point knew, like, he was different. And, like, it was scary, though. I was like, I can't. Like, I don't get fucking cruel.

rushed like I can't yeah and so um I knew I didn't want to be with my ex anymore and so I was like okay steal from him or cheat on him yeah I'm not a thief so this the dude that was staying there like he had like dropped hints here and there that like he knew who my ex or who my boyfriend at the time was which is like whatever you know because like the the drug scene kind of all mixes together even though it's like we do weed and he's on ecstasy like people we know know each other you know so but i wasn't like it's like not hooking up with that dude or anything but then like yeah i was like okay i'm not gonna steal from my boyfriend at a time like i'm gonna hook up with this guy because i know he will find out yeah so like we hooked up or whatever sure a shit like a few it's like a week later

a week and a half. My ex tells me he's like, oh, sorry. During that time, like before that guy came back and was staying from California, was staying at my house, my nephew Robert got shot. My boyfriend at the time, his reason or excuse, like, he was like, I don't want anything to happen to the dogs. I don't want to breeding the dog. Yeah. Okay. So he came and we only had a couple puppies left because we had sold them all. We have puppies like in Kuwait and stuff. Like it's really cool. I miss it. But he came and he got. all the dogs but the thing is I wasn't there because when he's like I'm on my way down I told the dude I was like all right I got to take you somewhere yeah like you want me drop you at the train station

like you got to go so like I dropped him off in bullhead somewhere or whatever but my ex came to the house and took all the dogs while I was gone and then I went back to the house and I was like what the hell yeah like you didn't even like wait for me to get there or anything like it was really weird. Then he was, I was like, I wanted to see you at least. Like, that was my boyfriend, you know, like I didn't see him a long time. I felt like I needed to see him, whatever, because he was in town. Right. And so he was like, well, if you really want to see me come to Princess's condo or whatever, this guy, we call him Princess. So like I went over there and he didn't want a hug, really. He gave me like a little. I was like, I don't. I didn't. I was. I was. I was. I don't. I. I don't. I

After like he didn't want to hug her and I wasn't going to be like, can I have a kiss? You know, it's just kind of like weird, whatever. And you was just kind of like, yeah, I got to get back to Vegas. Like I got to like, I got to go. Like just very like he was dismissive. He didn't even want to see me. He just wanted to get back. When he got back up there, he facetined me and he was like crying and shit.

And he was like, I know what you did. We're done. You're going to sign the shop and everything over to me. Or you can run it and I'll pay you minimal. wage like all types of shit and like I made it clear at the time like I was I remember I was in the back in my face time like you did this right like as like obviously I was responsible for like hooking up with the guy whatever but I want to be like how long did you expect me to just like take your shit right because like at this point it was almost eight years so yeah and I even like

unloaded on I'm like I got fucking assaulted at the shop and like you weren't there and to protect me and like it was just like all this shit my head all like came out at once yeah and i guess the guy that i hooked up with he told my ex he was like um you need to be worried about that the guy with the long hair that lives with her there's something there like there's something going on there at the time i was like madly in love with him right and i guess everybody just knew or so i don't know but he ended up freaking telling his cousin that was like my little best friend the 16 year old he ended up telling him like oh yeah they called me bait or a bait lady you know like oh yeah bait gave me head or whatever yeah before like the guy came and broke up me like the kid

used always throw it in my face like I'm gonna tell I'm gonna tell what I'm gonna tell and so like once we broke up or whatever I didn't want to be in a relationship I was like no I'm good I didn't think my boyfriend out. I didn't think that he would ever want to, like, be in a relationship with me. For some reason, I felt like he was out of my league. Yeah. But everybody, like, because people are, like, they're just, like, cold, you know? And people have told me, like, why do you even fuck with him, blah, blah, blah,

because he's, like, younger, you know? He's had, like, a different life, you know? And even to this, like, my friend that I had in Pennsylvania, like, I don't even talk to her anymore because she would talk shit about my boyfriend she didn't know him you know yeah so like oh like I don't know I just felt like I didn't want to be in a relationship at all and but I knew like I at the I already knew I was in love with him and I was like there's no way he would like be in love with me back like right so like we were just hooking up or whatever and then I got a job at this pizza place, like right behind my house. So were you out of all the other stuff at this point?

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And did you end up giving the shop over to him? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And he even said, like, at one point, he was like, oh, I was setting you up for success. Like, that shop was all you, like, basically saying that he was setting me up with a good life because he was going to, like, leave me or whatever. Yeah. Or something like that. And I'm like, so if that was the truth, then, why did you tell me that you want the shop or you'll pay me minimum wage or whatever you should just cut your losses and call on a positive note though at least it wasn't like something that you couldn't get out of you know what i mean like you were completely trapped in it with or without him kind of thing you know i had a lot of his not all of his bitcoin but i had a lot of his bitcoin on my bit pay card and so like

i would go like eventually i got him all his money back but like i could have screwed him over yeah I could have took so much of his money. I could have ridden him out. I could have done so much stuff. But that's like not in me. But I feel like when we broke up, he made me seem like that to other people. Yeah. A lot of people do that out of spite and finger.

Yeah. Oh, I was this whole while he was in Vegas. I never brought up once. I used Shinomi for like five years. Or like the weeks that he was just gone. Yeah. Yeah. And I would call him when he was in Vegas.

He wouldn't answer. I would track him with the My Chevrolet app. And straight up would know he would be going to like fuck bitches. Yeah. Like I pulled up a couple times like literally five minutes after he left type shit. Like like I was like not that I was crazy because like I was so loving him because like I said, I was never like in love with him. But it was a fucking embarrassing.

Yeah. Like you're just running around doing whatever you want and all your homies know that. And then I go into the office up there and everybody smiles at me in my face. And like, yeah, no. Well, also, like I said, too, it's like, I feel like he was more than just, I feel like the boyfriend was the label part. But you had more like, I feel like maybe some sorts of dependency on him for other things. You know what I mean? So I think it comes from that.

Yeah. And there had been a couple points in the relationship where, like, things got physical. Yeah. And I'm not, I'm not innocent. Like, when I saw that show on his phone, I started throwing stuff at him. It wasn't all me, but there was points in our relationship where, like, he got triggered and just would, like, beat on me. I remember one time this glass thing rolled off the counter that we were using to extract, and I guess he thought that I threw it or something, because we had been arguing. And this thing just rolled off the counter, and it shattered.

And he thought that I threw it because I was mad at me. And I was, he just came at me. And I was like, no, no, no, like, it rolled. He didn't care. He fucking threw me down on that glass, was beating my ass. in the glass and then dragged me to the living room with choking me like things weren't always like what it seemed you know right like everybody thought we had like a normal grown-ass relationship everything was good but no that had happened like years in the past and we had still stayed together

for years yeah but it's like you don't forget shit like that no definitely not so yeah we um at that point i after we broke up i went to the pizza place literally i hopped my brick wall and there's a pizza place behind my house at the time. So I went in there and they had just gotten new owners and it was like a woman. And I told her like I just got out of this relationship. Like I really need a job. I was, I think I might have been selling a little bit of weed. Okay.

At that point, maybe. Just like on your own? Yeah. Okay. Like small streets. And yeah, somebody told my ex that the kids were selling like drugs, drugs out of my shop and shit. Like, no. No.

That never happened. But yeah, I went to the pizza place and I got a job there. And it was weird because my ex broke up with me a day before my boyfriend and that was birthday. Really? Yeah. And I remember, like, I wasn't even sad. Like, I was, like, relieved.

Right. Like, we went to Vegas. Yeah. And for his birthday, like, went to Vegas and went shopping. He got sick as shit because, like, he had taken, like, some pills and then he drank and he didn't eat nothing. It was bad. But it wasn't, I wasn't even like sad or anything from that breakup.

But I was very traumatized. I'm sure. Like trust issues, even now. Like, and he's like the best. Like my boyfriend now, he's like, there was shit when we first started dating. But it's like on the phone and stuff. And we got off social media and all that together. And like it's just like changed our relationship for the better.

I'm sure. But yeah, at the time I told, like, I don't want a relationship, whatever. And I started working at this pizza place. And then I met this guy at the pizza place who was the owner's friend. And he, like, came into town to help him do some remodel or something. He was delivering pizzas or whatever. And he was, like, a short guy, just like a basic cookie cutter guy. He wasn't, like, super attractive or anything.

But you could tell he was, like, really interested in me. And he was nice, you know. And he needed a place to stay. At some point, he was sleeping in the truck behind the pizza shop. And I was like, what the hell? Like, my house is right there. Like, you want to. I even told him, I was like, you can stay for a couple months.

You don't have to give me nothing. And just to, like, get back on your feet or whatever. And so at that point, after my nephew got shot, like a little while later, Swat surrounded our house and took him. And he was in jail for a while. because of the whole shooting thing. Unrelated. Okay.

I think it was another, I can't even remember, honestly, but I think it was something to do with another shooting. Okay. That he was involved. And I don't even know why. I think it was just because he was nice. Mm-hmm. I ended up hooking up with that guy too.

And, like, they both kind of knew, but I knew my boyfriend did not like it. Yeah. Like, no. But at the time, like, we were all single, whatever. Doing your own thing. And, um, this guy had to go like across the country for some reason to like drive a truck back or something

and I ended up taking a pregnancy test because like I was like late or whatever and I've been pregnant before the one time like I said and I just knew like I could just like feel I knew same thing this time so I took a test it was confirmed at this point I'm getting older and I'm like I really want kids. Yeah. I see everybody else have kids with random motherfuckers. Like, I really want a baby, you know? So I was like, okay, he was out of town, whatever. Um, I can't remember if I told him he got back or when he was out there. But I remember that day that I took the test, I worked late that night and I was tripping. Yeah. Because I had to tell my boyfriend now. I was, But like I brought him a sandwich and I was like, I have to tell you something like I'm pregnant.

And he's like, okay? And I was like, and I know it's not yours because like we hadn't been hooking up as much or like he pulled out or something. I just knew it wasn't his. And he was like, I don't care. He's like, I don't want to be with you. He was like, I'll help you raise it. Like it doesn't matter. And I was like, no.

Like, no, that's not going to happen. And he was like very upset. He was crying. he was like I'm gonna fucking leave or whatever so he left and um I told him do not if you want to come get your shit wherever do not bring anybody to my house don't get a ride here nothing like don't because at that point I had been people knew where I lived and I was like paranoid and stuff I know a lot of it was paranoia at that point but that's when people started like really paying attention to me Yeah.

Kind of like she doing the damn thing by herself, like kind of like want a piece of her pie, like to hang around like because I'm generous or gracious, whatever. So I told him, I was like, I don't want anyone around the house. Don't come in. So he came at some point when I think I was at work or something, but I saw on the security camera to grab something or whatever. And I told him, don't come back to the house ever again. like don't and his stuff was there for a while and we didn't talk like we weren't talking i think he

messaged me like one time it was like stop thinking about me like i can feel it because we're very like especially him like his intuition and like he's very tapped in to like yeah the universe it feels like but he was like really upset like don't fucking think about me don't ever trying to get a hold of me and like i wasn't at the time but i was alone because the dude that got me pregnant like went to californ like went back to california where he was from to like work did you keep the baby did you decide to keep the baby yeah i decided i wanted to keep it and then i that dude was always gone like he would come back on the weekends but it got to some points where he wouldn't even come back on the weekends but you said you did call him and tell him right well he came back okay

i don't remember if i told him while he was back he was back he so when he got home but he was like oh i'm going to go back to california i'm going to have a good job we're going to be good Okay. So he was fine with it though. Yeah, he was happy. He was like excited because he knew I was a prize and he was kind of like, you could tell he didn't, he wasn't like dating or anything. And like, right. He, in his mind, he was like, okay, this is going to be my wife. We're going to have a good life, all this stuff. But yeah, I got to the point where like he wouldn't even come back on the weekends. Yeah. Just hang out there with his friends and drink or whatever. And he was older. He was like in his 30s. And like I knew I didn't love him or anything. Like. Right. He was like a nice guy, whatever.

But, yeah, I was very, very just so beyond sad the whole time because I miss Skyler. And at one point I put all his shit in my mom's truck and dropped it off at like some random like, not trap house, but like some house that he had been like staying at or whatever. I didn't see him or anything. I just left it. Yeah, so that guy was never there. I was just really sad. I wasn't like eating right. Like I wouldn't really eat. I would be like, oh shit, I didn't eat today. Whoops. And like I'm pregnant, you know? Yeah. And so around like 10 weeks, I started bleeding. And like I was at work. And the lady I worked for, she was like, she would, she didn't take it easy on me because I was pregnant. Like she would have me pick up like 40 pound boxes and stuff. She's like, I did all this when I was pregnant, blah, blah, blah.

And so, like, I didn't think, I was like, okay, like, I can do all this stuff. And so, like, I ended up bleeding. But, like, it was getting heavier and heavier. By the end of the night, like, I told this two ladies I worked with, and they were like, you need to go to the hospital. And so my mom took me to the hospital, and they were like, yeah, there's no baby anymore. Like, it's gone. There's no heartbeat.

There's nothing. And so I was sad because. I really wanted a baby. But at the same time, like, okay, I don't have to deal with this dude anymore. Right. So I told him, I was like, yeah, like, had a miscarriage or whatever. So then he comes back, of course. Just being all love you, it's okay, everything's going to be fine.

He thinks that we're going to be together and stuff. And I told him, like, I don't want, sorry, dude, but I just was like, not pretending, but like, I was going along with this because we're going to have a baby. Like, I really don't love you. you're never around here anyway. I don't feel like I'm missing something when you're not around. And like, dude was heartbroken. Because he thought he's like, oh, he's like mid-30s.

He's like, okay, I'm finally going to do what you're supposed to, whatever, it's going to be fine. And yeah. So we split like the beginning of January. Like he left and never came back. And then at some point, somebody told me um i don't remember who it was and it was a guy so i thought he was just being a hater yeah but he was like um you know sky's a heroin addict now and i was like i don't know if i believe that mm-hmm whatever and then um i don't even remember if he he told me himself or what but

he messaged me and was like hey like I need a place to stay like it's not going good over here I guess um somebody something to do with like some I don't remember but somebody was like um owed money or something and like the whole house got dragged into it or whatever and so he was like yeah I can't be here like I need somewhere to go and in my mind I'm like yeah he's coming back and like he brought his best friend too and he yeah he told me straight up like I'm addicted to heroin now and he brought like a good amount with him and I was like no you you smoke it outside whatever but and he was like when this is gone like I'm going to quit and so I was like okay whatever so you would go outside smoke it whatever it was finally it was gone and he

stayed sober for, I don't even remember exactly, but I want to say it was somewhere like a month. And then started smoking again. And I, at this point, it was like, okay, well, I'm not the type of person, especially because, like, in my past, the person I loved, like, the most, like, she got involved in drugs. Yeah. Doesn't make somebody a bad person. And when he moved back into, like, I told. him again. I don't want to be in a relationship. Like, no. But we were automatically sleeping in the same bed every night. But yeah, he was just like addicted to heroin. And I had seen a couple

times like when he was like withdrawing, you know. And at that point I was like, okay, I never dealt with any type of heroin use or anything like that. But, but. before and I was pretty sure that if he stopped, he was going to die. Yeah. So, like, I didn't want him to stop like that, you know, just like try to stop anymore. Yeah, he was just like smoking heroin. Like, before when he was there, he didn't. Like, you know what I mean?

And I was just like, okay, like, this is who he is now. And, like, it didn't change him as a person. I just knew it was not good. And I obviously, like, didn't want him to be doing that. but I was okay with it because I didn't want him to like die, you know? And this was like the beginning of COVID, like right before COVID because everything got shut down where we were at, like the casinos and everything in March. And he came back at like the end of January.

Okay. And so I had been working as a cashier at the casino and excuse me, I was able to pay like the rent, whatever. Him and his friend weren't working and like I didn't, much didn't bother me. I know most people would be like, you need to work, you contribute. I was like, whatever. I was always used to doing everything by myself, basically. And when he was working before, like, he would help, you know.

So I just, in my mind, it's like he can't because he's an addict, you know. What he has, he has to buy his drugs, you know. And so, like, during COVID, like when they shut it down, I was tripping. Like, it got shut down a day before my birthday. My mom took me grocery shopping for my birthday. Like, that's how scary it was. And thankfully, the place I worked at, they gave us a furlough check. Basically, like, good luck.

Yeah. We don't know what's going on in the world, but, like, here you go. I had that, but it was like, uh, whatever. And then I had gotten into car accidents, like, years before, probably like two years before that. Both of them were not my fault. Both of them were caused, but, like, super old guys. one the second guy died on impact and he was suicidal because his wife had just died so um my lawyer at the time that was working all in that he was good friends with my ex so once we broke up like i kind of was

just like nothing's ever going to come at that like a week after the covid shut down he um calls me so i have a check for you and your lawyer or the ex the lawyer he said from the accident the first accident Yeah. And I'm like, okay, he's like, you can come pick it up. It was almost $20,000. Wow. Yeah. I was like, God's looking out for me.

Like, COVID just hit and I get 20 grand. Right. And then do I put it in the bank, you know? Everything was kind of shut down, so we're just kind of chilling. And then my lawyer hits me up. I got another check for you. from the other accident. I'm like, okay, this one's like 25 grand.

So at that point I have this money and I'm like, okay, we're good through COVID. We're not going to struggle, you know? I was able to help other people get through COVID. And, yeah, we, so I remember I got a car like a couple weeks later. It was a 2019 Nissan. what the heck was it? Sentra or something. And I got it because it like, my ex told me always get cars that look like everybody else's cars.

Like I've been like a criminal my whole adult life. So I'm like, okay, get a car that blends in. So like a normal looking car. And then we were like, okay, let's travel, you know? No one's working. Right. So for 420, we went up to like the redwood forest and like had a great time, like, exploring and stuff. And then I started selling because I had the money to invest to make more money.

You know, I already knew how shit worked by then. So I started selling weed and it started selling wax. And I even started selling puff bars. You guys don't have them out here. You know what that is? It's like little disposable vapes like nicotine vapes. They taste like fruit or cocktails or like whatever. But I started selling those too.

And my customer base or whatever was all over the place, like, in terms of, like, demographic and age and all that. And then the kids got me, I had already had a Snapchat, but the kids had got me into, like, having a lot of people on Snapchat. And I was known as, like, Bait Lady or whatever. And so I was like, you know what, I'm going to start selling on Snapchat, see how it goes. Yeah. it blew off. It was like good. And so like not only did I have like the settlements, but then I started getting more money from hustling and all that. And in my life growing up like I, I didn't really have like many haters, you know, like in terms of like after I graduated, people kind of were just like,

oh, Christina was doing her own thing. You know, she's doing well for herself. If anything, people were like, yeah, good for you, you know? And then, but once I broke up with my ex, who was like, had his shit put together. It seemed like a stand-up guy. He was older than me and all that. Um, but let me backtrack a little bit. During COVID, like, I remember right after the COVID shutdown, it was before I got the settlements. It was like, I had, um, seeing him, my boyfriend now refer to me as, um, his roommate, which that's what I was, you know. But that shit hit me, like, in a spot that I did not like. I was like, I don't like this shit. Like, I know I told you I don't want a relationship, but like, this isn't cool. Like, we're more than this now. And so that's when we're like,

okay, we're, we're together now. So that's when you guys kind of decided to be together. Okay. And so that was March 28th, 2020. And it's crazy because March 28th, 2018, now that I think about that's a day I bought my shop. Yeah. So I don't know. It's a day, I guess. But, um, so, like, we decided we're going to be together, whatever I was selling. We were traveling during COVID.

Um, his cousin that I was really close with, he got out of Juvie because he was in Juvie for a while. And then he was doing better. We weren't really, like, partying and stuff. We were smoking a lot of weed, you know, hustling. But he saw the life that his cousin had now with me. And he, he's like. the number one hater to begin with.

And that's when you were close with though, right? For a while? Yeah. Okay. But he just turned into a hater because at that, like when he went away, me and his cousin, we weren't together, you know? And when he got out, we were all about each other, like, in a serious relationship and everything.

And things weren't kind of how they were before. And I know he was jealous of Skyler, not in, like, a romantic way, but in a, like, she takes good care of him. she's good to him she loves him you know and um yeah we we fell off with him just because he was like a hater to this day we still don't talk to him like a couple weeks ago he was like oh i want to get a hold of this guy you've seen it yeah but the haters came pouring in when everyone was struggling during COVID and we were like falling you know we were buying gold we were traveling getting our just like getting our thing on having a good time shopping

And like there's nothing to do during COVID. Yeah. And so we had the means and we're hustling. So we just, that's when everybody was like, oh, like we can't even fucking eat. And you're fucking got all this new shit. And, um, but me, the type of person I am, like, I'm very generous. So when I was selling, like, I would hook people up. I would see like during COVID was really bad.

You'd see like tweakers struggling, like in the streets and stuff. I'd pull up like, hey, you want a dad? Like, you need it. So, like, people knew me as, like, a cool person. So that's why it always just was not fair to me how I got so many haters. Because I'm not like, I know people like, I don't deserve the hate. I really did not deserve that. But that summer, I decided I need to, like, further invest in myself.

So I decided to go to beauty school for nail technology. That was a whole other can of worms in itself. My Nell lady told me. She's like, be careful. Like, when you go to school, like, people are fucking catty. A bunch of bitchy girls. Everything's in competition, blah, blah, blah. I had to deal with that a little bit.

But I had to deal with guys as well. Just that weren't good. Like, that were in relationships. I didn't care that I was a relationship, tried to hit me at like all types of shit. And so like that like environment, like I had fun because when I was doing like the nails and stuff. But like a lot of the relationships with the people there were like business. Like I sold them wax and stuff. But I mean I hung out with a few like the people that we started with. You know that started with me. There's like five of us. But yeah, I went to the nail school and

then I was working at McDonald's and I liked it. So like at the time it was the number one McDonald's in Arizona, like in terms of busyness and all that. And I was a drive-thru girl. I really liked it. I would work overnight where it would be just me, a manager, and a kitchen person. And it got a little scary, you know, it was like you see a lot of drug deals and stuff go on. There would be like a lot of homeless people hanging around. But, you know, it was whatever. At night, it was, like, a little scary, but thankfully, like, I had guys there with me. And then, um, I decided, because I'm a hustler to hop on the only fans train.

I decided to wear a little badge by my name badge at work with my only fans thing on it. Creative. Bad mistake. Yeah. Um, really bad mistake. Like, people started showing up at my work. Mm-hmm. And it wasn't like.

Like, it wasn't anyone I've ever seen before or anyone, like a type of person I would expect. I remember one time I came and there was like this sweaty, like, 55-year-old dude and, like, khakis. Like, I guess he had been outside for a while because there was like three dudes that I worked with standing outside. And he, like, came over and he was, like, looking at me. And he was like, does anybody know where I could get any dabs at? Like, everybody knew that, like, everyone at McDonald's week, constantly stays stoned. I kept all my stuff in my car. Like it was a thing. Like I smoked people out,

whatever. The one guy was like, there's a dispens. We like right across the river. And then he's like, oh, can someone give me a ride? And he looks at me because I just got my car. He's like, can you give me a ride and he like kind of steps towards me? And I'm like, no, like, I just got to work. And he was like, um, you couldn't just take me real quick. Like, he really wanted to like get in my car and let's just go off somewhere. And I'm just. And I'm just, I was like, no, I was like, you're being really weird, like just like that. And he ran into the, like, inside the store and went into the bathroom. I don't know. He was in there for like 10 minutes and then he just came out all quick and left. But it was fucking weird. Yeah. Then the whole time he was there is like I almost wanted to like call the cops. But it's like he didn't do anything wrong. So and it was just it felt and I, one of the kids, because there's like two older guys over out there and a younger guy. And the younger guy told me straight up. He's like, I think that. guy knows about you and he was trying to like abduct you yeah and like because i had thought that my head but i wasn't going to say that i'm not that self-centered right but that kiss jade was like i know

that's what was like going on you know girls don't like when their boyfriends follow girls on only fans and subscribe and all that so it's like all my girlfriends started not liking me yeah and a couple of them told me like my boyfriend subscribed to your only fans blah blah and the thing about my only fans is like there was never any nudity, any sexual things. I'd be like in my underwear. Yeah. And that guy that like assaults me when I had a shop, he ended up fucking tracking down my only fans and like buying everything and then getting everything refunded because it's not what he wanted to see. He was expecting something else. I don't know. But like it was, I don't know. It was like at first I was like, okay, like I make some money out this. I only

made my I didn't have it that long but everybody thought like I got a lot of money off it I only made like a few hundred before I was like screw this I don't know it's too weird but like um I kind of made myself a target at that job by doing that and it was just too much right around that time too I put myself in the position for this to happen but I did obviously I didn't want it to happen like kind of something happened with one of the guys I was going to school obviously I was not down for it but I was like the position I was in I was scared and I was like kind of just like let it happen and when it after it happened like the only thought in my head always since then it was like I need to tell this guy this happened just because I felt like I

needed to tell somebody and I wanted him to know like that's not something I wanted you know yeah but I didn't tell anybody about that pretty much like stopped giving them rides stop just being around just him, you know? Like a couple months later, he decided to tell one of the girls at school. And she had already not liked me. I don't know. It was weird because we were really close at first. But she just slowly started turning into a hater as girls do.

I don't know if it's because I started Onlyfans and she had one or what. But he told this girl, like, bragging. And she decided she wanted to tell everybody else. And so somebody got a hold of me was like, you know, people are saying this about you. And I was like, okay, that's fucked up for people to gossip about my fucking trauma, whatever. So the first thing I did was I went to my boyfriend. I told him. And he was still like struggling bad with heroin addiction.

And at that point, I think he was getting a little bit into fentanyl maybe at that point. But I told him straight up. I said, this is what happened. And everybody's talking about it. did not want it to happen, but you need to find out from me. And he, like, flipped the fuck out. Obviously, like, I know how the, in reality, you think when somebody is going to, like, attack you or come at you, you kick and fight and defend yourself to the death, you know?

But in that situation, it doesn't always work that way. Yeah. A lot of times, and, like, you hear from other people's stories, you just, like, freeze. Like, you don't. Like, and the fact that something had happened to me before. before and I fought it and the guy didn't give fuck and he fought back and did what he wanted anyway. I didn't want that to happen again.

I didn't want that guy to like fight back worse. Yeah. I don't know. And I had a gun on me, but I didn't think shoot this motherfucker. I was frozen. Yeah. And I don't know. It was just like it was a bad situation.

And I knew, like, from the get-go, I wanted to tell him. So then when I finally did, I wish it did. I didn't have to tell him that way. Like, people are saying this. So I don't want you to hear from someone else first. But that, like, wrecked him. And he was like, no, like, I'm done with you. I remember, like, fucking screw.

Like, I don't even, like, I went to a mental hospital right after this. And they, like, pumped me full of drugs. like really like strong shit so like my memory is like a little fuzzy before then but i just remember like him leaving but at one point i packed up all his shit was like i don't want your shit here so he had to like drag it miles like all his like freaking designer stuff like i'm sorry he didn't get robbed so like yeah and then like i was like alone for honestly it wasn't that long it was like a couple no i don't even remember it was like maybe a week or two when i was like maybe a week or two when i was like I can't fucking be around here by myself.

People has started like coming around my house and like fucking with me and stuff. And people say, oh, you're apparently. No, when I was there by myself after like that shit happened, like I would hear people at the back door. Yeah. Like trying to open it. Like I had it like barricaded. Like I was like a target for some. I don't know.

And I had started problems with the drug dealers in our town. Yeah. Because my boyfriend was an addict, you know, and how it goes with drug dealers, especially when people are addicts, like, when it's convenient for us, you'll get it, you know, when it fits in our schedule and all that. I'm not that bitch. I started going out of town and getting my own, getting it for him, because I don't, I'm not going to see him be sick because you're too lazy to leave a slot machine or something, you

know. And so they didn't like that. And I started telling him, don't come around my fucking house. I don't want this shit around my house because I wanted him to, like, quit, you know. And I started all that, like, trouble before he left. Yeah. So once he left, I felt like, since I was, like, even more so alone, they were, like, game on. Right.

And so I would find, like, 40s in my backyard. Like, people would, like, put shit in my yard and tell people, oh, go fuck with her. I don't know what the deal was. But there would always be people who hop in my back wall. And I only, I remember his sister was there with me. for a while and like I know that she would she knew like some things that were up but I was extremely extremely paranoid yeah so if something little I was just blowing it up and it got to the point where I would fucking just sit in the front yard with my gun like just I'm not scared motherfuckers like pull up and

I knew that like I had to get out of town I got a restraining order on this one bitch because She was like a dealer and I didn't want her coming around. And it was to the point where like she was always around my house. It was weird. So I chased her down in a car one time. Like almost pinned her against a brick wall. It's like stop fucking coming around my house. I don't give a fuck down my boyfriend's a heroin addict.

I'm going to call the cops on you. Fuck you bitch. Like you're lucky you're not out of the car right now. Yeah. And this bitch has always been weird. I grew up with her and she's just a fucking weirdo. So like it was getting closer to the court. date or whatever. And I, like, at that point, I had already told his sister, like, I don't want you to be

here. Like, it's not safe. Yeah. You have to go. You have to take your dog and you have to go. Like, I'm not mad. You did nothing wrong, but I don't want something to happen to you. And I remember, like, she left or whatever. And then that night, I didn't sleep or nothing. And I packed up all my shit, basically, all my important shit. And I abandoned that house. And I fucking. And I fucking. And I fucking. and had, when my parents, like, went into the house, I had had, like, couches against the door and, like, the house barricaded all crazy. Is that why you went to the mental hospital? Almost. Okay. I decided I have a friend, my cousin's best friends. I call my cousin. In Colorado, he's like, you know, come out here. Um, him and my other friend, they were like,

okay, you're clearly going through something, but we think you're having, like, some type of spiritual awakening at the same time because I don't care what people believe in but at that time like I've always been religious I've always prayed and all that but at that time like I felt like God was communicating with me more directly and like it was very overwhelming and the fact that like um I was going through something mentally yeah from all the shit in my life that I never took care of. Right. And so I went out to Colorado, you know. I was convinced people were chasing me the whole time.

I really feel like I was being monitored by the government at some point. Only because, like, I'm very aware of my surroundings. And just when I was traveling out there and stuff that happened, I don't know if it was related to that case with the drug dealers and all. all that. It was just a restraining order thing. So I don't know. Yeah. I don't know if it is because I had been putting on my my Facebook and only fans and every little thing that was happening to me. This person followed me from here to here. Um, this suspicious cars and hanging around my house, like everything on social media. So I kind of think maybe some type of police force or

something was monitoring me for my protection almost. I don't know. But, also in the back of my head, I'm like, oh, they want to fucking arrest me because I've been selling weed to kids and shit like that, which honestly, they don't. Nobody really cares about, like, weed out the west. So I went out to Colorado and I was there for a couple days. And, like, it felt good to get away. But I just, I wasn't doing anything, you know? I know. I know. I know. And my cousin told me, you can stay here for two weeks. If you need it, you know, just calm down. I even was thinking about moving out there.

So he said, you know, spend a couple weeks out here, find a job, you can move in, blah, blah, blah. And I really wanted to sell my car because that everybody knew my car. So I was like looking on CarMax and stuff. And I was like, okay, I could sell it out here for like $6,000, whatever. So I was going to do that and then I don't remember what but something triggered me out there to where I was like, okay, I need to get away from here. This is not safe. Something had happened to me and nobody would know because I'm all the way out here. My, I had told my parents, first I said I wanted to switch my number because I had my number for over 10 years at that point.

too many people had it too many people were fucking with me um and so i asked them i was like oh can you change my number and my parents knew i was going through something and i at that point i had let them know i had told i had put it out there that like i had been doing drugs recreationally you know and stuff and so my parents especially my dad like if you do drugs you're bad you know you're a loser, all that. So, like, my dad did not like me talking about that stuff. And I was telling them, like, your house isn't safe. Like, people know that you know, they know that you're my parents.

And I was just freaking them out. Yeah. And I left town, and they ended up for some reason. I don't know if they were just done with me or whatever, but they ended up shutting my phone off, which I don't know why they thought that would be a good idea when I'm, like, going crazy. in the complete other state or something. Yeah. But I think at that point, especially my dad, like, they were just done with my shit.

Right. They were. Because, like, when I was, like, before I left to Colorado, I was at their house. And my dad basically, in a way, kind of told me, you have to leave. Like, you're disturbing our peace. So this thing, were you using any drugs or it was just, okay? When I left Colorado, I was heading back and I was coming through Vegas. And then once I got, you.

got into Vegas, like closer to Vegas. And the weird thing is, like, my phone, for some reason, it wouldn't connect to the charger, even though it was a brand new cord. And then so I had this, like, old broken cord and I rigged it to work. But then, like, my phone wouldn't connect to my car. And it just made me so much more paranoid. Yeah. And I'm not even joking.

When I was in Colorado, on the way there and while I was there and everything, on Bluetooth kept popping up on my phone. It said, like, vape, vape, swel. something like that. I was like, what is this? Like, it's always on. And when I was in Colorado, I went down to my car to get some clothes. And I pulled, like, you know, in the backseat of a Ford or a car, you could pull the seat up and it's the trunk. I did that and there was a vape in there. And it was like on. And it was that vape. That was connected to your phone. Yeah, I'd never seen that vapor anything. And in my crazy head, I'm like somebody put it in there

to like track me. Right. Which, I don't know. Like, it could have been with good intentions, could have been with that. Yeah. I don't know. So at this point, you and your boyfriend were not together. You're, like, kind of going different places, like your parents and then back. Yeah. But this was a short time period.

This was, like, I don't know, maybe, like, within a week. And on the way back from Vegas, I swear, like, I was like, they're switching the signs to fuck with me. Like, the sign that said Tropicana. To me, I said tropical. Like, I was, like, losing my shit. And then so, like, I'm getting off the freeway more into town. And I'm, like, in the hood at this point.

It's like at, it's like the end of Henderson. Like, there's not much hood in Henderson, honestly, but it was starting to get a little ghetto. It was like right outside of Vegas. Like, basically you could be driving and you're in Henderson on the next street turns into Vegas. Yeah. And I remember I was driving and, um, I had heard something on like a radio station. I was like, going through like the old school FM channels or whatever. And I had heard something about a bomb.

I think it was like news or something. Yeah. And I was like, there's a fucking bomb in my car. There's a bomb in my car. And if I stop, it's going to go off. If I open the door, it's going to go off. Like, I'm fucked. So do you think all this paranoia was coming from maybe like previous drug use?

Yes. Okay. And so, um, I thought it was that with like a bunch of other stuff on top of it. Yeah. But, um, so I literally rolled down my window. and jumped out of my car as it hit to a tree and then another tree. And literally, like, I wasn't on drugs, but you know people have, like, tweaker strength or whatever.

Or when people are drunk, they could handle a car accident better. Like, I was sober. I was smoking cigarettes. Like, I smoked, like, two pack a day at that point. But I stopped taking dabs because I was like, people are poisoning me, like, all types of shit. And so, I jumped out of my car. I stripped down to my sports bra and I think I had on like some big ass underwear at the time. Oh no, they were lace, but they were like they covered enough.

So like I stripped down, took my shoes off. I left my phone, my gun, my laptop, everything. And I started running. And like these two military guys pulled up in a truck to like, want to ride. And I'm just like, what the fuck's going on? And they're like, we're going to Nellis. You can't get in or some shit like that. They were just being weird.

But then I just kept running. running and now was like fuck like I need to my car is going to explode and in my mind it was a bomb so big that it was going to destroy like the whole fucking block or something and so like this guy like he he kind of looked like a tweaker but like he he wasn't like up to no good he was like at the gas station getting gas or something and he like gets out of his car and he has a big black trash bag and he comes over and he like tries to like tries to like put it around me and so like I'm like no no no I need your phone I need your phone and he's like oh okay like he gives me his phone and i called the cops and i was like there's a fucking bomb in my

car all types of shit you need to come right now and so i don't know if they had seen the car accident or what but i had ran like two blocks to a gas station and there was a giant rock like the size of this table and i was laying on it just like face down my arms like this because in my mind that like the cops were going to shoot me or something. I don't know, but they came. And I remember it was a white guy and it was a Mexican lady. And it was Henderson police. And at that point, I was like,

cops used to not bother me, but then once I started like getting more tattoos, especially the ones on my face, and I started losing weight, dressing a little different. They started profiling. But these cops, they were not. They were very nice. And they're like, okay,

tell me what happened and I just looked at them and I was like I need a mental evaluation like something is not right here like I just jumped out of a fucking car yeah and I was only going like 25 miles per hour which I know it seems kind of like a lot but I just had bruises like on my knees yeah so they took me to um a hospital and they were taking my vitals and all that and the weirdest thing is I had this friend in Vegas He's like one of my best friends at some point. And his girlfriend at the time ended up being one of my nurses. But like I had never met her. I didn't say anything about it. I just had seen them in pictures and stuff together. I was like, this is weird. But like it made me feel like more comfortable, you know?

And I just remember like I don't know what was going on. Like they took my vitals and all that. Then they put me in this room where I had to fill out paperwork. And it was basically like signing over my freedom. Yeah. And what's weird is there was like flashing lights and sirens going off in this room. And in my mind, I'm like, they're doing this to fuck with me. And I'm like, something's in this paper probably that I shouldn't fucking sign, but I don't know.

I just signed it all. And they took me to, I think it was called like Valley Center Hospital or something in Vegas. And they admitted me to like the psych ward. they were just giving me like the one in Vegas it's like the homeless people or like the drug addicts or they probably do have a little bit of mental problems but a lot of people were just in there for a bed and showers and food like straight up just like shelter yeah so I was in there for like two days like I got admitted at the night in nighttime they said tomorrow morning or afternoon you'll meet with like a caseworker so that day came and went nothing

The next day I came and went. And by afternoon on the second day, I was like, oh, I still haven't seen a caseworker. They're like, oh, they're probably just busy. Third day. And I had been in contact a little bit with my family on the phone. Like, they knew I was there. Yeah. By the third day, like, they hadn't been doing anything for me except for, like, pumping me full of drugs.

Like, I was a fucking guinea pig or something. And I was, like, a zombie for, like, the first two days. And, like, and then I realized, like, how long are they? to keep me like this? How long? Right. Like they don't even know. They haven't even like evaluated.

And so like I started getting really upset. Yeah. And I told them shit up. I was like, you guys aren't doing anything for me in here. You keep blowing me off about the casework. And I was like, this is why I said.

I was like, do I need to punch someone in the mouth before anyone pays attention to me? And then the next day they had the caseworker or meet with me and all that. And they were like, um, we're going to keep you for 72 hours.

hours or after that meeting. We're going to keep you for another 72 hours and then you can leave on your own recognizance or whatever. I'll like wait out these 72 hours and I've been telling me, telling them, this medication you're giving me is like, it's just making me a zombie. Like I'm just fucking sleeping or sitting around and just like my mind is empty. Like, which is probably what they wanted. Yeah.

But I told them like, I don't like this. Yeah. I was like, I feel like, I feel like, drug addicts feel. Also, it wasn't helping you. Like, you weren't actually getting any help. Yeah. After, like, the 72 hours, I had already been in there for, like, I don't know, five days or whatever. And then they're like, you have to stay for a full week before you can leave.

And at that point, I was pissed because I was like, you guys said I could leave on my own after the 72 hours. and then they were talking to my family at that point and they basically made it to where like I was staying there for a week no matter what and I felt like I heard he had been in there so long that I needed to leave like then so like the next like two days lasted forever but while I was in there people like were like tested me it was like co-ed so there was guys and girls and I knew that this one guy he was like oh it's like this big like gangbanger, I don't know. He was just, like, doing his own thing.

We're all sitting at a table, you know? And then he looks at me, and he was like, um, I'm supposed to wear glasses. I'm like, okay? He's like, they didn't let me bring mine. Give me yours. And I was like, no. And then, like, he kind of sounded like, okay, well, she's not going to fucking just, like, do whatever.

Like, she's not scared of me or whatever. and then so like he started like trying to sit close to me and shit and like I told them right I was like this guy is being weird whatever so they like kicked him out or something but then like another girl came in and she came in there for like she scratched one of her tattoos with like a fucking safety pin or something I don't know she I think she just wanted to like get away from her kids to be honest but she swore that she she she had me on some type of social media and she was so happy she got to meet me and some weird shit yeah and then so she would always like go and like come into my room while i was in there and they

would tell like you can't go in there you're just going to other people's rooms yeah and it was just really weird because she also she kind of had me convinced that like maybe she did know me or something so when you were there did they diagnose you with anything or wasn't like that you just basically stay there for a week well i i only talked to like a therapist or whatever it was wasn't the case manager was different from like the little therapist or psychotherapist or whatever psychiatrist but um they basically psychosis off the bat and then um they diagnosed me with bipolar depression which my mom has said like she's thought that i've been bipolar my whole life i loki think my mom's bipolar and my grandma like was out there yeah and she was like a

pill addict too so like it was like I kind of just probably should have dealt with this sooner in my life yeah and I never did so they put me on two medications one in the morning one at night and I've been on them since then and this happened in 2021 okay and I had told them like probably like six months ago I wanted to switch off the one medication because the tumor I had already. that elevated my prolactin, like that medication does too. Okay. And so like just from talking with them and doing my own research, you know, it was, they said it was drug-induced psychosis.

Okay. And I did research too, I guess when, because in 2020, like during COVID and all that, we had been like smoking meth. Like I would go like there would be like two weeks where I would smoke every day and then I would not smoke for a while. It's just like whatever. Yeah. And when I was working and going to school and selling and all that, it's like I would take a hit in the morning just to give me through the whole day.

I wasn't like sitting in a room tweaking all day, you know? Right. And I preferred to take Adderall, but it got to the point where like it was kind of hard to find Adderall. And then I kind of felt bad for taking people's medicine when they clearly needed it. So yeah, it went to meth. But the thing is, I remember at the end of 2020, like I stopped having a period for a while. probably like three months and I was like okay my periods have been a little irregular before but like I'm getting older I would like to have kids like I want my body to be acting normal so I was like

it was probably like November um yeah maybe like October or November I decided of 2020 I was like okay I'm not going to do any drugs anymore and let's see my period comes back and it did and I mean like meth and adderals like I was still smoking weed and dabs and all that but my period came back and so I just never did drugs again okay that's amazing so that was in 2020 right you said yeah nobody believes me especially when I was going crazy yeah um but yeah and I started do my research and I guess when you stop doing meth you're like it can't even take up to two years for your brain to heal right and I'm like that's crazy but for sure it takes like months initially

for your brain to start acting normal. And so that's one of the, I think, the main things that triggered me into, like, losing my shit. And, like I said, just going throughout life, not, because I was a fucking angry teenager. And even as, like, a young adult, like, he's 24, like, my boyfriend's 24. And, like, I tell him, like, you have a fucking attitude. Like, but I realized when I was his age, I was. way worse. It's like, I feel like it's normal, I guess, but yeah, it was just trauma and mental health and everything piled up and I didn't take care of it. And so like I just reached a breaking

point. Right. So I was taking the two medications. I still am. And then I tried, when I got out of the mental hospital, I was like, okay, I need to go back to work and all that. I was not right until like, You know, it took like over a year for me to like, and even now, like, I think it has a lot to do with my hormone imbalance, but like there'll be days where I'm just like crying for days for no reason. And like, so like I'm getting to the point now. Like I went to the doctor last month to refill my prescription every three months. And I even thought about telling them like, I don't want to take them anymore. Yeah. But I'm just going to wait.

Right. Wait a while. when my boyfriend gets off is methadone and stuff like that. I feel like it's something like kind of do everything altogether. And then you, so then you guys ended up rekindling shortly after that? I remember when I was in the mental hospital

I was so like detached from the world. It was kind of like jail, but I could still call people free free. And I was very detached from the world. So I thought that like, nobody even realized that was gone or whatever no it was like all over my snapchat and stuff like where's bait where's bailey like she's missing and all the shit because i was gone for like a week and i my memory is bad but i'm pretty sure he was tripping too okay and um yeah it just like he was staying where he could you know i know he was with his mom for a

while and um i was like struggling i was i couldn't really hold a job i went tried to go back to mcdonalds i only lasted one day because the new manager like called me a con and i was not dealing with this and then i tried to i got a housekeeping job yeah and i was doing that for a little bit and then i was on a walk like i was some my mom knows some people in metro so like i think somehow they were aware, like the police in Laughlin that, like, I went through some shit, you know, I'm like mental issues a little bit. But I was, like, walking to the river in, or walking to these apartments, and then I was going to go to the river or something. But me and him, he came to my house and my dad basically was like, he's outside. You need to tell him to leave. Yeah, blah, blah,

Because at that point, they had found out he was doing drugs, and that's just, like, big no. And they're like, you need to tell him to leave. And they're like, my dad said, if you go out there and talk with him, then you have to leave, too, basically. So we were walking, like, down to the town decided I was going to go to my friend's house or whatever, and I wanted to go to the river. I just wanted to get away. And we ended up, like, screaming at each other, some shit on the highway. and he tried to take my phone or something, but somebody called the cops.

And then the cops come, and I'm fucking crazy. I'm like, don't shoot me, blah, blah. And they clearly think we're on drugs. So because I was being so rowdy or whatever, the cop literally threw me on the asphalt, like manhandled me. And it's like the middle of summer. Yeah. Or at the beginning of summer, 110 degrees probably.

and just yeah, threw me on the ground, handcuffed me, I was on my period they put me in the back of the squad car and I was in there for a while

and they were digging through my shit thinking they're going to find drugs and stuff my iPhone was a iPhone 11 Pro or something I paid at the time like when it was all said and done the phone costs me like $1,600 you know phones are expensive

well this cop decided he was going to take my phone act like I never had a phone. Yeah. So that was traumatizing and then they decided to call paramedics and have us taking to the hospital. And it was just a really weird situation. Like they were literally fucking with us.

So when I got home, like I didn't leave the house for a while. Like I was scared to even leave. Right. It's like the cops are just going to fuck with me. They still do to this day. I'm like normal now. Like, hey guys. And no, they don't care.

So yeah, it was just like really hard to like. get back to normal. So I was just wandering around town a lot. I would go to the river a lot. I was just like always walking. You just didn't want to be home. Like I would just go sit in the desert like in my own head and like I was on my medicine but I was not okay. Like I didn't even like become like okay and start feeling like almost normal to like last year. Okay. Like the end of last year probably because even at like the job I work now, I remember when I first started it and I've worked there for like a year and three months, I was really depressed.

Just like sad because I had built such a good life for myself and I always had everything I needed it and I always had more than I needed and I was a hard worker and I took care of everybody and everything and then going to have nothing. My parents told me, you can't live in the house anymore. I ended up giving my car away to my friend at the time. I told him, just pay the $900 to get out of the tow yard.

You could have it. Like, I didn't have anything anymore. Right. And so, like, it was hard for me to get out of the mind state that, like, you're a fuck up. You fucked up your whole life. You're a failure. You're a loser. And I always have been very confident and thought highly of myself.

But after I fucked everything up, like, I was like, you're trash. Like, and it was hard to, like, get that back. The one thing that really fucked me up was hurting my boyfriend. Like, I'm like, how could you? Yeah. Because like I said, like to me, he was like out of my league. He was like the best thing God ever created. So like it was really like hard for me to like get over that. And I still, I'll always kick myself for that. But it's nice now to just be like in the mind state of like I saw what the problem was. I understand I had to go through that shit and things better. no. Yeah, and I was going to say, too, like I was saying off camera, I feel like you've gone

through so many different phases in life. Yeah. You know, and like you said, too, and I can't stress it enough because it is so true. But like sometimes you have to hit rock bottom and do really bad things. Yeah. To realize I don't want to do those bad things or put myself in any type of position that can leave me back down a certain path. And it sucks because you're always going to look back and kind of beat yourself up for

certain things that you've done or gone through. But like if you didn't go through them, who knows if you, if they wouldn't like pop up later down the road. Yeah. So it's like you might as well take it as a life experience and have it happen when you're younger and then, you know, learn from it and get past it. You know? So it's like it happens.

But I think it's just so interesting to me like how many different phases of life you've been through. Because like that's so much experience and in so many different ways. And it makes you a stronger person. Yeah. I'm not like super into like um is it called astrology but I heard of something called Saturn's return have you heard of that? No.

Okay, it's like a point I think it's like um and Saturn's lined up with your whatever. But it's like from the age of like 27 to like 31ish where you fucking go through it. Yeah. And you're like you you question like your your life's. purpose and your existence and all that. And that hit me right when all of this other shit did too. And so like I really have felt like the past like six months like things are really starting to like just calm down and be okay. Good. We're starting to like get back on track. The fact that like he got on methadone and like sticking to it and like 40 milligrams is not a lot. Yeah. Like he'll be

he goes down to milligram a week so like 40 weeks he'll be good you know so it's like that in itself is just like enough for me to like be so excited about life so what are you as far as like now like are you living where are you living now are you with your parents yeah okay yeah and um which i feel like isn't the worst thing if it like it keeps you i feel like maybe grounded in a way even though i know parents can be annoying yeah but it's like i feel like it's good for you if they're so against that lifestyle because it just keeps you like okay i want to make them happy too and it's better for me and they didn't like him for the longest time and now they're okay with him they're getting better my dad's just stubborn yeah um it's it's kind of hard though like he he literally told me a couple days ago

like i just don't say a lot of shit anymore especially like to my parents like there's no point yeah and he was like so do you just like pretend all the time are you acting like what kind of life is that? And it's like, it kind of hit me. And I was like, I just, it kind of does feel like that. So I'm just looking forward to being us together and like being able to just speak my mind without hurting anyone's feelings. Because my mom gets triggered really easily to crying and stuff. So I don't, I don't really, I don't say anything. I keep my thoughts to myself. Right. And too, it's like you, you're aware of your surroundings and people and things. And sometimes it's like, it sucks when you can't just be yourself and say whatever but at the same time it's like you know what your goals are and where

you're trying to go so it's like for right now I'm doing this but I know where I want to be and you know you'll eventually get there for sure yeah but and um I know that this year and like it's just going to be better and better real quick because um I work at like a gas station convenience store you guys don't have them out here it's called Maverick yeah and um they it's like a kind of like a 20-minute drive from my house or more honestly 25 to that because it's in like Arizona but like a hobby and they're opening a new store in fullhead so like I'll be able to ride my bike and take the bus so like I'm just excited I know like so many things are just gonna line up well that's amazing and seriously I think your life because obviously it's it's your life so I feel like you view it

differently but like so much has happened and you're still so young and I feel like that's like no I pluck out white hairs every day. Well, listen, it's just like it's crazy to me because I feel like you have so much, like I said, like experience, but also just like it literally feels like the different little lives that you've already lived. And now it's like that doesn't like I feel like you learn from that, but that doesn't, it doesn't have to be a reflection of where you're going. But it has taught you so much that you learn so much from it. And it gives you all this experience to know what what little things about yourself and about life that you want to take and stuff that you would. And I'm going to be like, okay, I'm going to leave that pine. I learned from it.

I did it. But we're moving forward now. But seriously, it was so interesting and very intriguing. I have, like, said before, like, I kind of have felt like my life somewhat has been like a social experiment. Yeah. It's like, let's see, like, what life is doing this and switch it up over here. And it's been crazy.

And even now, sometimes like, God, I just wish I was, like, selling weed and lax, like, be so much more comfortable. But I'll never go back to that because it's just like, I just want to do my own thing, live in our own little bubble. And be safe too. You don't want to ever feel like you, like I said, even that, you experienced what it felt like to be paranoid and feel unsafe. And you don't want that either.

You don't want to bring. Because it's any form of negativity, you don't want to bring into your life anymore. You know, in some ways, obviously it might have been easier. But you should always feel safe and comfortable and happy, most importantly. But you did amazing. Seriously, thank you so much for sharing your story. And, obviously, I think. that everything you've been through, there was a lot of traumatic stuff in there, but I never,

like I say, everything's always an experience. And I feel like even if something wasn't good and it was bad and it traumatized you, I think that it always can help form you into a stronger person. And even like you said, how generous you are and helping others, that a lot of people don't have that. And the fact that some of the people that I feel like you've helped throughout your life already didn't even know you that well, but you still, you know, lend it a house. helping hand. I feel like that's so important and it shows so much about your character. So that's amazing too. I just wanted to say that. Thanks. Yeah, I don't know. Like I've always wanted to like be there for people, especially when they're hurting. And I've always since I was little, like,

my stomach says garignosa. It's just like somebody that's like loving and affectionate. And like that's just how I've always been. And now like I've gotten to the point where like I have, instead of trying to spread myself thin for everybody. I have just me and my boyfriend and my family, but I want to just put everything and all my love into just us. And that's what I've been doing. And life is a lot more fulfilling. Yeah, that's amazing. Seriously. Thank you so much. You did incredible. Seriously.