We're All Insane - Scammed By Fake Psychic

Episode Date: March 20, 2023

Fake psychics manipulate people by making false claims about their psychic abilities and preying on vulnerable individuals. They offer false hope or play on people's fears and emotions, using tactics like cold reading or hot reading to create the illusion of psychic ability. Their main strategy is to convince people that they possess unique insights or abilities, leading them to spend significant amounts of money on readings or services. To avoid being manipulated and taken advantage of, it's important to be cautious of anyone claiming to have psychic abilities and to thoroughly research any psychic before engaging their services. If you have a unique story you'd like to share on the podcast, fill out this form: https://forms.gle/ZiHgdoK4PLRAddiB9 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey guys, it's me Devorah. I just dropped an all new bonus episode inside my new subscription channel, We're All Insane Plus. This week's bonus episode is called My Brain was slipping into my spine. Listen now by subscribing to We're All Insane Plus inside your Spotify or Apple Podcasts app or go to we're all insane.com. I'm going to start with growing up and I grew up in a Russian household. So my dad is from Ukraine. My mom came from Belarus. And when they met, they both knew Russian. So that's what I grew up learning. And that is my second language. So you're completely fluent. Yeah. Awesome. Not like reading and writing so much, but speaking to people completely, that's like our community. And I do really love it in the beginning. It was kind of weird because you're growing up around a lot of

like people who don't speak other languages. So you're kind of like, oh, this is weird. I feel kind of like left out of of a normal all-American life. But now when I look back on it, it's something special. Yeah, especially for like work and having that kind of like flavor or whatever. Yeah, no, I think it's great. Oh, sorry, I knocked the old table down.

So I think that's good. Yeah, so I love that now, but I think it has put a big standard on my life growing up and even now because there's a certain way to do it in a community like that, right? and certain expectations and the way that you speak to people, the way that you act, like they just see it a different way than maybe just like an all-American kid or a person. Like more strict or?

Yeah, a little more strict and a little more, I'd say conservative. Like a lot of parents expect you're a doctor, you're super kind, you're super respectful, you have a lot of goals and morals, which obviously like a normal person has. but I think it's a very high standard just because of the community. Right, for sure. And especially telling my story, I think it's just so people find it very wild because nobody does that. Right.

Right. Like you're always doing what your parents ask of you. You don't really become a rebel, nothing. Well, I think too, like in general, a lot of people just don't open up. They're not comfortable with it. So I think coming on and speaking about it, especially on here, I feel like people are, It's shocking to people because I would never do that. No.

So I think it takes balls. Yeah. Well, that's why I wanted to do it because I don't think I've ever been the type of person to stick by a script. I don't think you should. No. That's my fun. No.

Not at all. For sure. So that's where I kind of grew up with that kind of mindset and then my parents get divorced. And that isn't very uncommon in the community. I think because they are immigrants, they realize. like now we're in America. Right. And after a long time, this isn't like the lifestyle that I want.

And once that actually happened, everything started going downhill. Like this is, and I know that's kind of like a typical thing because a lot of kids experience divorce. But I think I really used their divorce as an outlet to become a major rebel. Okay. And it like, how old were you? 12. Okay.

11, 12 or 13. I can't really remember. so much has happened that it's kind of like that age range. But once they got divorced, I decided that since I couldn't control this thing in my life and because it was so emotional for me, I need to control everything else. Like from here on now, I don't care if you're my parent, my friend, I'm in charge. And at that age, that's obviously not good because that means that everything that's going to lead up to your future is going to be shit.

Right. Until you, like, mature and realize that, you know, like that that's not the right way. That's exactly how I felt. And my dad is a restaurant owner. So he wasn't around, like, a lot, a lot. But he's still, like, my best friend. And I think it's because I've noticed a lot of qualities in him that I really love. So I kind of pushed aside the fact that he wasn't there growing up that much.

So you mainly grew up with your mom, you'd say? Yeah. And I have a half-brother or whatever. It's my dad's son, but he's a lot older. So we weren't super close. So growing up as an only child, mostly my mom's taking care of me. She automatically takes the role of best friend, right? Like she's my caregiver now.

I trust her. I love her. And I still feel that way. But what had happened when they got divorced is she started dating a new guy. And for me, that is when I was like, hell no. Yeah. Well, in general, too, I feel like that is such a tough. to have like a mom dating other guys.

Like I literally is the same way with my mom. Like every single boyfriend she had, I hated them. Yeah. Couldn't stand them. And it doesn't even matter if they were great or whatever. It's just the fact that it's not my dad. And it's also that now my mom was putting attention into another person. And I'm so used to the attention being more on me, especially as an only child.

So that was kind of like, no, I'm not, I don't, I'm not rocking with that at all. So in the way she introduced him to me was literally at like a Russian party. Like I was at a Russian party She came later and she brought him And that's how we met And I think she did that on purpose Because she knew I couldn't like leave the situation Right you were kind of forced to like meet him

Yeah and I already knew about him And I told her I'm not comfortable with meeting him at all Like I don't want this And she has always been the type Who's a little bit more like dominant Like this is how I'm living my life If you don't like that Sorry too bad

And because of that I decided that I'm leaving the house. You don't. How old were you at this time? 14.15. So this is like freshman. Yeah. Not even like able to drive nothing. So and right before that like I explained to her a lot. I was like I'm not comfortable with this. He worked from home. So like he would be home sometimes when she was in there and he's like more quiet. So I didn't feel a relationship with him at all. So not only do I already not want this. He's not like putting in that much effort to make it work. It's also awkward too. I feel like it's just it's I think when someone's in your house that wasn't there before,

I think it can feel like you're uncomfortable in your own home, which nobody wants to feel that way. Exactly. And we lived in like a condo town home. So it's not like this massive place where I can just escape to the other side of the house. Like, no, like you're seeing him. And I just was not okay with that at all. And one time I even slept in my mom's car.

I was like, please don't let him sleep here tonight. And she's like, no, he is. Like, I love him. So I literally slept in her car in the garage. And just like cried all night. and at that point I realized, like, I can't. Right. Anything will be better than being in a situation where I'm, like,

uncomfortable being there. Yeah, for sure. So around that point, I met a girl, and she went to my high school, and we became close pretty quick. And I think now that I'm looking back on it, it's because we're having the same exact struggles at that time. So we kind of, like, latched on to each other as, like, a support system. Because her parents were divorced.

She was living with her dad. Her sister, like, they weren't that close. so like I became we became each other's like person right and um we were spending the summer together and I was kind of like loving being there slowly bringing my clothes and stuff there and we're kind of like what if we just live together like what if I just move in because I hate being with my mom I'm mostly here right what if I just live here so we sit down her dad I explain the situation like I'm just uncomfortable being at home can I come live with you not for like a long time but just for sometime and he was like sure that's fine like he felt bad for me right that's really and i think i may have

just over exaggerated how bad it was just because i really was the guy nice to you your mom's boyfriend like or was he was he is very nice and they're married now actually so he's been in my life for like six seven years now um and i think it was more me just putting on these blinders of like i i i don't care how nice you are i just don't and you were younger yeah and you just went through a lot i think that would be hard for anybody. Yeah. And his like personality is a lot more shy and like quiet. So it was never a situation where we could just like sit down and have a conversation. It was always this like uncomfortable. Like unless if I say something first, we're not talking. Yeah. And the fact that he was shy, he would never talk first. Right. So it was like, I don't want to put in the work. He's definitely

not going to put in the work. So like, bye bye. Yeah. And my mom definitely didn't understand that either because she's kind of battling like her younger teenage daughter who doesn't want to be there. she's also in love with this guy. She wants to be happy. And now that I look at it, I'm like, I kind of feel bad that I had to give her this ultimatum, but I did. I said it's either me or him. And she basically said, like, I'm not choosing, but he's staying here.

So at that point, so I left and I started living with my friend more full time. And that's where things really got bad. Okay. Because in the beginning, everything was literally magic. Like, she had a boat, so we would do a lot of fun stuff. And her dad was like a man. So he didn't like have that like motherly like, you need to do this and this.

And you know, he like did not care at all. More freedom. Yes. It was very a free for all. And he would like pay us for chores and stuff. So it was very like, damn.

I, you're living a life. Yeah. Like I went from a like Russian speaking mom who like had all these rules and restrictions to now like, fuck no, you do whatever you want. I don't care as long as you're not dead.

Yeah. So I was like, okay, perfect. And it was just wild to think back because we would literally share a twin-sized bed for like eight, nine months. We would sleep in a twin-sized bed. Her head this way. Head to foot.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, why did I live this way? But it was because. It's fun, though. Yeah. I feel like I obviously like when I was younger and our, when my friends were that age, like that's how we would sleep too. My little twin, I always look back to that too.

I'm like, we would sleep, had to foot in little twin beds and just like have the best time. Yeah. And you look at it and you're like, damn, this is like a everyday sleepover with no rules. And that came with a lot of problems as well because that meant. that I didn't care about my grades. Right. It was about a 1.0 for like a lot of freshman year.

Like just did not care. He never checked homework. I wasn't talking to my mom. So I was kind of like, I'm doing what I want. And it really, really worked in the beginning. But after a while of dealing with, you know, my own like internal struggle of I wish I kind of had a mom, you know, there for me. But at the same time, I love this, things were getting a little weirder.

like her dad would ask for like back massages and from you yeah and like her too but it was just like it's kind of wild to think like damn this man is like my dad's age and I'm like rubbing his back and I'm living here like you know yeah that's weird it's like I'm thinking so consciously this is really fucked up but at the same time I can't live with my mom so I'm allowing it right and I'm putting on a big blinder here and we wouldn't have to work he would just give us money for chores like I said and it was the most rebellious time of my life, I think. I mean, we would steal her sister's car and we would go until 4 in the morning and, like, hook up with these, like, older boys that we didn't even like, but we just wanted to,

like, feel something, you know? So we would just do it. And there was one situation, like, later in it where her dad's friend came over. And I used to, so this is, like, kind of a side note, but I had a breast reduction. And my boobs used to be like quadruple F, like out to here. But I already had that at the time, like 14. Yeah. So these men are like looking at me like pretty much a sex symbol, right?

Because I'm like a young girl naive. I'm living with her friend and her dad. I don't give a fuck. I'm drinking. And I like have these like big boobs. So it's like attractive. So like this. Yeah.

And like at the time I think again, I was just so blinded because I didn't want to live with my mom. But also you're still young. Yeah. Like I feel like we don't really pick up on that chin and how sick it is until you're older. No, not at all. And like I think I did slightly know, but not enough to where I was like, okay, this is really weird. It's wrong. You know, I think I got accustomed to it, honestly.

Right. Especially living with a man who was like, don't give a fuck. So it was fine. And so the situation was where we were on a boat and my friend and her dad were in the water. And his friend stayed on the boat. And he basically like took my foot and like started rubbing his dick with it. and it was wild because like at the time his kids were my age and I like had a crush on them so I'm like and I'm sure people who have been in a situation like that can understand like you just

become like nothing right you can't feel anything you're like you're seeing it but I don't know what to do I don't want to get in trouble I don't want to leave this house so if I start like bitching him out and like my friend's dad gets mad you don't know what to do yeah so like I'm letting it happen and it's just such an uncomfortable feeling and we just don't discuss it and I live with it and I tell my friend about it and she's like, that's sick, like that's bad but I don't think she also wanted to put herself in a position

where like we have to tell my dad, you know? Yeah, it didn't seem like they really had that relationship. No, not at all. Like she wasn't that close to their mom either but her dad was like very like chill freedom style so she also really liked that. We were both very aware of the situation. And so we dealt with this for like a long time.

And it started going downhill after that and that and that. And at one point, it was kind of a mix between, oh, also this. So some people might be like, where's your mom? She doesn't want to get you out of the situation. So like I later found out that she went to the house that I was staying at. And the dad opened the door and she was like, she can't live here anymore. She needs to come home. Like, this is not right.

And he basically told her to her face. like, I don't care. It's not my problem. Right. And your friend's dad said this. Yeah. Like to my mom's face. And she was like, okay. And she knows that I'm very like, I will do what I want.

Like even if she pulled me out, I'd probably go back, which I probably would have in the moment. Hey, I'm Jeremy Schwartz from American Criminal. On this season, robbery gone wrong or cold-blooded murder. Either way, Boston will never be the same. Listen to American Criminal,

the murder of Carol Stewart, wherever you get your podcasts or to get early ad free access subscribe in apple podcasts spotify or at american criminal dot com like it wasn't worth the battle no for her it wasn't for me it wasn't so we kind of had a mutual agreement of like this is fucked up but like whatever right this how does for now yeah and i think also she leaned on her boyfriend at the time a lot too well now husband but she leaned on him so that made them grow even stronger so she was like if she comes home and she starts like this ruckus between us all again it's just going to be another problem so i think she secretly like kind of was okay with it because it kept peace in her life as well i was going to say

and as long as she knew you were safe probably at the time then that was i don't remember how much we talked at that time but it definitely wasn't you know like a lot and i think it was more on my side i was just like i don't want anything to do with you um so then slowly i think now we're in 10th grade So it was like a few, like, solid eight, nine months of it. And what had happened is I met this guy. And he, I saw him at like orientation or whatever and I was really attracted to him. Like I thought he was a cool guy. He was like new.

He like came from another town to play wrestling because he's a really good wrestler and did football or whatever. And I was really attracted to him. And I would tell my friend, whatever, nothing. And we ended up having a class together that I switched into. And that's when it grew even more because now we're talking. day and it's like we can tell that we like each other and uh around that exact same time i was kind of leaving living with my friend like we weren't like on good terms anymore because i realized

it was a really fucked up situation and i realized through liking this guy who has a shit together in 10th grade and plays sports and has good grades and a good heart that like this is not what i want to do forever i don't want to live a life where i'm doing shit and being this huge ass rebel who, you know, doesn't give a fuck about life. And so that's when I moved out, but I was still friends with the girl. And by the way, I hate her now. She did kind of like, she just. Just to clarify.

Yeah, just to clarify because she was there for me when I needed her. But at the same time, she did a lot of things that were definitely not okay as a friend. Yeah. That I pushed aside and like major red flags that now I would never forgive her no matter what. No, and I think too that, like you said in the beginning, you guys formed a bond over probably some trauma you guys had and, you know, an experience that you guys were sharing. Exactly. But that doesn't mean that once you actually get to know somebody that they're a good, trustworthy

person. Not at all. And I think, again, like I feel like I knew that this whole time, but I was so young. Yeah. And I also, we would lean on each other. So we were okay with everything going on. And you were in a situation that you needed to get out of it, too. So you were like, all right, I'm just going to do it.

Yeah. Exactly. Normal. Yeah. And like the things that she did after I'll tell in the story is just like wild. And you would think like after everything you know about me and how close we were, that you would respect me a little more than the things you would say. Bitches.

Yeah. Like you can't, that's the thing. Like you can't even, the older I get, the more I realize you can't expect shit from anybody. Because they're always going to disappoint you. And I've realized that as well. And like I genuinely think that even if you think that you're your bestest friend. Yeah. And they're most likely sometimes not.

Right. And just in general, I think everybody can just, we're all human. And even if people don't do it on purpose, like they'll piss you off one way or the other. And then it just is what it is. Yeah. So I dealt with it. And so I kind of left her house. I started seeing this guy more frequently.

There was even a situation where we were still close enough friends to where I wanted to bring her on a double date with the guy that I'm seeing. Yeah. And his best friend. So we go on this double date. just remember we go to a bowling alley and I don't remember I got mad at him for something and I we're leaving and I start like walking away like I don't go in the car I like start like I'm like I'm going to walk home I'm not dealing with this like just like sounds like some shit I would say yeah yeah I love that yeah I'm like I'm like I'm like but secretly I'm like I hope he like right and then if they

don't and then you're just like I'm like I'm like I can't turn around now because I just so funny oh my God I love that yeah so basically he didn't follow me, but his friend did. And he was like, just come back to the car. You don't need to do this. Blah, blah, blah. And later I found out that she asked the guy that I was seeing, like, do you want to hook up? Like, while I'm literally walking away, like, for a few seconds.

Sly. Yeah. And like, there would be situations where we didn't have cars. Obviously, my mom wasn't getting me one because I was in a bad relationship with her. Yeah. And her dad didn't have the money to get her one. So, but the guy did. So, like, even if I didn't need a ride, I'd find out that she, like, asked him for a

home. And now that I look back on it, I think it was a huge part of jealousy. For sure. Yeah. Because at the time when we would do things, it would be like together. And it would be parties and like nothing serious. But I think she started realizing that this was serious. And because I was moving out, I think there was a sense of like, damn, she's like going away from me, which is kind of shitty on my part. But at the same time, so much bad negative shit happened around her that I kind of was ready to let go of that. And so. So, so. So, Sorry. No, go ahead.

So at this point, you were moving out, were you moving back with your mom? Okay. I was moving back with my mom. I was getting closer with the guy I was seeing. Got it. And at this point, we started dating. And I am kind of like that. I've always been the type to like not really want to be home.

Like, I always like to be with friends or I started sleeping at his house all the time. It's just like, my mom calls me a gypsy. Like I love to travel. Yeah. Like from home to home, just not even that the situation at home is that, that bad. I just don't like being there. Right. You're more just social.

Yeah. And I just like being around like new people and spending a lot of time with them. So anyways, I'm like staying with him a lot. I really, really fall in love with him. And this was like probably my, not probably, it is my first love I've ever had. And he was just like a very kind person, cared about others. Like he was the type that if someone was sitting in the hall, even though he was like more popular, he would still help them. And just like a very genuine, like you could just tell his soul was very pure.

And he just wanted the best for everyone. And especially at that age, like, while you're 16 and you already are like that, you know, most guys are like hoes and like they don't give a shit. Right, just assholes. Yeah. So, yeah, we really fell in love. We started dating. And about five, four or five months later, he gets in an accident.

And this happens where he was going under his car. Something was like flapping under it every time he drove and I even heard it. And he was like, I need to change this. But his dad worked like night shift and his mom didn't know how to do it. it so he's like I'll just do it it's fine it was like after school and I was like okay be safe like whatever and I get a call from his mom like he's being flown to the nearest hospital because the jackstand broke off oh shit sorry the jackstand broke off and the car fell on top of him so like this old older car like over a thousand pounds just like crush him and apparently he's like I need help I need

help so he's not like automatically dead but they my the mom couldn't get him off you know because she can't carry that much weight and she was even holding the flashlight for him under the car so she's watching this car fall on top of him oh so his mom was out there yeah she was out there holding the flashlight while he was working on it and all of a sudden the jack stand breaks because i think he was like rattling something and it like like shifts so the car falls on top of him and basically he gets flown to the hospital and he didn't die for 10 days So he was in the hospital for 10 days. And he was getting better.

Was he awake? He never woke up. He was always in a coma. But the thing is for me, imagine like your age, my age at like 17 at this point. And I'm like, oh, he's not going to die. No, what's 17 year old dies, right? Exactly. Like it's like older people, grandmas, grandpa's like they die when they're old.

It would never be someone my age group, especially someone I'm in love with. No, at that age, your perception for death and like risk is just not there. at all. Like you just, we all think we're invincible for sure. Yeah. And I was like,

I'm now, I was very worried. I was very confused. Like, after days started going by, I was like, oh shit. Like,

this might be something like really bad. And, um, I was very, very hopeful. I mean, I'm not super religious. I'm more like spiritual.

Like, I like religion and I appreciate it. But I just didn't really grow up that way. So I think if you don't grow up that way and if you don't put a lot of your energy, into it it's harder to like really really believe you know a certain thing and um so i'm just kind of like sitting there basically numb for like days just waiting for him to wake up and at this point so i'm not really talking to many people other than my one friend and i grew up with him he's russian as well and

um he has been like a really great support through it he like would hold my hand during it he would talk to me through it. He would miss like two weeks of school for me while he's still in high school to like make sure that I'm okay while we're going through it and we're basically just sitting in my bedroom and all of a sudden I get a call from his sister and he's in heaven and he's dead. Yeah. Do they pull the plug or it's weird because I wasn't there. I was at home so there was a lot of like different word of mouth about it. You know, I feel like I still don't even know for sure the truth because I did hear that but then I also heard he just, like, I don't know. Yeah.

It doesn't even matter at that point. Like, he's dead and I have to deal with that for the rest of my life. And I literally, once I heard it, basically I felt like I was having a heart attack. Like, I was like, wow, I like really, really, really love this guy. And I'm still so young. So I'm like even more in love, you know? Right. Because I'm still kind of immature, but I really care about him.

And he's gone. And that's it. And for a few months, I, Didn't talk to anyone. I didn't do anything except this one woman. And basically how this happened was it was probably a day or two after he passes away and with my friend who has been helping me through all this and we're in the car. Is this the boy?

Who? Your Russian friend? Yes. I'm with him. And we're sitting in the car and all of a sudden I get a phone call. And I don't recognize it, but I'm like, I'm going to pick up, whatever. So I pick up the phone and it's this woman that like sounds older for sure. and she's like, you don't know me, but I'm blah, blah, blah's mom.

And this girl that the mom of the mom, she like, I was acquainted with her. Like I went to high school with her. Like you knew of it. Yeah, like we weren't best friends, but we did talk in classes and whatever. Enough to know that she was real. Yes, yes. Yeah. And the mom goes, you don't know me, but I can talk to your dad boyfriend.

She just randomly called and said that. Yeah. She randomly said, like, he's talking to me. I hear him. I feel him. She would like say certain things that like not many people knew at all. So it was kind of weird that she knew them. It was believable. Yeah.

It was like super believable. And I think I really started at that point like convincing my brain like holy shit. Like what she's saying is what he would say. So there's no way this is fake. I mean it's a mom. She's like 50. Like how would she know? Right.

So. And also why would someone go out of their way? Right. It's not like you reached out. but yeah well there is a reason why okay yeah we'll get there yeah so yeah so she starts talking to me about it and my friend is my rush friend is sitting next to me we're like what the fuck like what do we do with this information because she would be like you can't tell anyone no like you can't say anything or else i won't be able to get like the like the vibes anymore and i won't be able to talk to him

if anybody knows about this oh ruin the uh the vibrational frequency that's going on here yeah yeah So I'm like, okay, we can't tell anyone. And I'm talking to my friend and he's like, okay, yeah, no, we can't tell anyone. So we hang up. I'm like, we're digesting this information and he decides he's going to call his friend and tell her. So I'm like, wait, are you sure you should do that? Like we're like starting to really believe this at this point. Right.

And he's like, no, we have to tell her. Like, this is wild shit. So he calls his friend and all of a sudden as he's like opening his mouth to say the words, his phone goes, it's just like shuts off. literally that noise. It just like went to a black screen. So that's when it started that we were like, oh, fuck, this is real. Yeah.

Like we would just try to tell someone and we can't. Right. So that really did start the path of believing this woman. Uh-huh. And it was really a perfect plan on her end because, you know, I was living with my mom. We were kind of repairing her a relationship. My boyfriend dies. So she's like really on my team now.

You were in a very vulnerable place. And she like really stepped up to the plate and like really, really was there for me. So that definitely made my situation with her better because I could tell she still cared and wanted the best for me. And it was easy because I could just tell my mom that I was hanging out with my friend, not that I was hanging out with her mom to talk about it, right? Like it was perfect because I didn't have to be like, oh, I'm going to hang out with a fifth-year-old woman who's going to tell me about what my boyfriend's staying in heaven. Like, no.

I could literally just say, I'm going to hang out with this girl. We've gotten really close after he died, and that's it. So would you ever see that friend? Or you would just see her mom? No, the mom, they lived together. Okay, so you would see the girl that was your age as well. Yeah.

And would she hang out with you guys while the mom was telling you all this? Yeah. I think she, like, was very, very brainwashed as well. Okay. So you would go to the house and hang with the mom and the daughter and the mom's feeding you all this stuff about your boyfriend who passed away. Okay. And the crazy thing is, again, why can't I see Red Flag sooner?

So she, her mom and the girl, they were living in their neighbor's basement, a single man's basement because they got kicked out of their house. So they're living in his basement and it's just like a really weird situation. Like you have to walk through his living room and he's sitting on the couch to go to their little like basement area that they're living in. Yeah. Like they have zero connection. the fact that they're neighbors, but she was basically like his cleaning lady and he like gave her a car and

whatever. Like she was just doing what she had to do. Okay. And, um, but I really didn't give a shit about any of that because she's my portal, right? Like she made me believe that she's the only thing that will get me to talk to the person I'm still in love with and grieving over. And I really think I wanted to believe that too because, yeah. And she, the way she would do it is she would like take his, like numbers and so he played football and his number for football was 43 so that started being like a huge like thing once he died i mean he was a wrestler too but more the 43 number was like a huge like angel sign and like everybody would use it like 43 strong whatever and she would like figure out a way to take his birthday and like turn it into like a number that equaled 43 and be like

he told me like this is exactly how it is and these are the signs that you're looking for and she would be like um this is the specific song that he wants you to listen to and it's like for you and i would like listen to it and he was a gemini and it would like mention that so i'm like oh my god it is about him right like i was honestly like not being the smartest but again so vulnerable grieving i wanted to believe this um and this one like specific situation that like kind of freaked me out too this is just like another major sign that really push it to the limit which he was like feathers and now that i think about it feathers is like kind of a a universal thing for like people that pass away isn't it like yeah i think i've seen that so but i didn't

know at the time so she was like you need to look out for feathers so important so i go to his um viewing like his open casket and i'm like really sad i go to the bathroom upstairs and i'm crying and all of a sudden i look up and all the uh wallpaper is feathers and i'm like holy shit like sign yeah like all these signs that this woman is giving me it must be true like there's no way right But at the same time, the signs that she was giving me were just her way of like making sure that I'm like sticking around. For sure. Yeah. Like she wanted to make sure that everything that I know is just going to put me closer in her hands. And she was very, very good at doing that because like we would literally be driving down the car and she would be like, oh, I'd be like, I just got a sign.

And I'm like, what did he say? So like every time you would hang with them. Yeah. It was just about that. Yeah. I mean, like at a certain point. So she was dedicated. Oh, hell yeah.

I mean, she didn't really have a job. She was like her neighbor. This was her job. Right. And she would like say like I used to do this. Like I kind of am a medium but like not anymore. This just like spoke to me so hard. I couldn't like get rid of it.

And I was like, okay. Yeah. I believe in you. The fact though that like she is like baffling to me that she was allowing you to just like come and rely on this. I was like basically I feel like in that. It was like a way for you to like cope and get through it, which obviously is not actually coping and getting through it.

You're not moving on. You're staying stuck in something. That's horrible. Yeah. And like it was perfect too because I ended up going on to online school. They like created a program for me because I was just like way too uncomfortable. Everything reminded me of him for a while. And like, you know, people in high school like what were juniors now, they're very like,

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. You know, like every second I'm like I'm really sad. Or they just ask like. Yeah. And it's not even like mean. of them at all. Like, they cared, but in my head, I'm like, I just don't want to every day, every hour.

Everyone look at me, like, she's the girl with the boyfriend who died. And it's, like, wild because in our high school, there was another girl at my age. She was dating a guy who died as well in high school. Yeah, he, like, fell off a boat and, like, passed away. So, like, when I heard about that situation, when I was still living with my old friend, we were like, this would never happen to us. Like, somebody died in our high school. Like, that's weird.

Right. So then, like, after a while of dealing with this kind of manipulation that she was putting me through, I really started realizing, like, okay, maybe not as honest as I think she is. Like, what made you think that? Not even more so her. So I actually, about eight months later, started dating a new guy, who I'm actually so with, so almost five years together. Yeah, like high school sweethearts.

And he's a really, really amazing guy. he was friends with my boyfriend who passed away, which I really, really appreciate that because I feel like it would be hard to explain to someone who never knew him. And that's like a big part of my life. So I really like the fact that he's super respectful of my like still grieving process. And some people are like, how can you like start dating someone eight months after so soon? And all I say is like I'm still grieving. Yeah. So and I really think that although I've grown a lot and it's a lot easier, it will still always be there. Absolutely. And your timing is going to always be different than somebody else's timing. Exactly. I mean, my story is completely different than my boyfriend who passed away's family,

even though it. Like, everyone's going to feel a different way about it. And also at that time, right before I like started dating my current boyfriend now, she did this one like really wild thing that really, really still hurts me to this day where she turned me against his family, like, major. Like I was super close to my boyfriend Passaway's family Like he has three sisters Like very very like they've really accepted me And after he died The woman was like they don't want the best for you

They don't care about you Like the mom So she convinced you they were like toxic Yeah and basically like said like they only care about their grieving Progress you're only going to feel special with me Because first of all I'm your outlet to him Like literally I'm your outlet to him So you need to trust me only

don't care about what they say only what I say and I think she would just lie and make it seem like they were this horrible group of people because I think that if she wouldn't have said then I would have still stayed close with them I would have told them Oh for sure That there's this woman who's basically saying

She can talk to your son She can talk to your brothers Yeah And that was perfect on her end Because if I would have said that They would have been like no So did you just stop talking to them Or did you like say something to them

Yeah. So what had happened? So I started dating my new boyfriend. So this was senior year. I kind of started going back to school and he was like, dude, you should not be like dealing with this because I told him about it. He's like, why are you hanging out with a 50 year old woman? Like what the fuck is that about? And I'm like, oh, she can talk to him like all this stuff. And he's like, no, that's weird. Like I don't think she's as honest as you think she is. And I'm like, okay, you're kind of right. And like I started to. God, you found him. Yeah. And not even just that, but like I have another really. really, really close friend, like still very, very close friends with her. Her and her mom became a really good outlet, too. They were like, we're here for you. We're not trying to convince you of something, you know? Like, this is just about you. Exactly.

It's not about holding on to something. Yes. So, like, they really, really helped me through a lot of things with that. And the reason that we kind of stopped talking as much was she kind of went away a little bit for a few months. Like it was kind of on her end because I was still holding on to it. I still wanted the relationship because although I was kind of realizing it's all a hoax, it made me feel good in a way.

You know, it was kind of like. I think too, like any type of support in a time like that is going to make you feel like loved. Yeah. You know, even if it seems a little off. Exactly. Same thing with the friend you used to have. Yeah.

Like it, you can know something's wrong and like see the red flags, but like if it's it's comforting in some way, like you're going to hold on to it as long as you can. Until like you actually see like, okay, this is fucked. And I feel like you reach a point where you're like, okay, let me get out of this. And that's like once I did realize that, that's when I realized I'm mature and I'm grown. Yeah. And so for a long time she like kind of went away somewhere. I don't even know.

And then I find out where we can circle back is her. She got kicked out of living at the neighbor's house because she like punched him in the face or so. I don't know. She like just assaulting him. Yeah. Because she claimed that he like put a camera in the bathroom and like, I don't know, maybe it's true, but I, whatever. Right.

And she like punched him. He like basically called the cops on her. So at this time now, she's also on probation through everything. And she has to move out of the house and guess where she goes? Her and her daughter go move in with my old friend. The one that you lived with the dad. Yep. She goes, they go move in.

How did that even like happen? Because. What was the connection that? The girl was friends with my old friend. They like got pretty close, I think. I mean, at this point I'm really not friends with my old friend at all. So I'm kind of getting this information more from the mom and the girl. Okay.

And they were pretty close. So they like let them in. And they're living there for a few months. And it's like weird. At that point, I'm like, I don't really fuck with you. Like you just told me all this about my dad boyfriend, but now you're living with a girl I'm not really friends with anymore. Yeah. And also you're a mom.

Like what, why, what is going on? I didn't really ask about her financial situation, but you could easily tell, you know, she didn't have her own place. Right. She would, like, steal groceries. Like, she was just, like, kind of a nut job. Like, just no goals, whatever.

And after a while of living there, all of a sudden I get a phone call, we really need you. We really need your help. This is from the mom. Yeah, because she apparently got kicked out of my old friend's house and moved in with my old friend's dad's ex-girlfriend.

two hours away from our area. Okay. Jesus. It's like weird how it all connects, though. Yeah. Yeah. It was pretty wild, but she like just somehow ended up like two hours away, but then was getting kicked out of there again because she's like not.

And now she's just calling you for help. Yes. Okay. And you're what, 17? 17 or 18. Like we're almost done. What are you going to do? Oh, well.

Okay. Yeah. I decided that, you know, I am going to help you. And after school, I'm going to drive my ass two hours in my little Honda. And I'm going to get you out of the situation. I'm going to help you pack. And then we're going to drive home. Where's home?

Where were you going to take her? A storage unit place so that she could put all her stuff in there. But before that, we had to stop at a U-Haul place to get her a U-Haul. Except when we pull up to the U-Haul place, she has no money for the U-Haul. So did you pay for it? So at first I wasn't going to pay for it. Right. And I ended up finding out that I think she was going to do some like shit to the guy selling the U-Haul to get it for free.

Oh my God. What the fuck? Where is this woman from the gutter? Dude. And the wildest thing is that her family's rich. Her family's rich, but they just don't fuck with her. I'm like, sucking a dick for a U-Haul. That's all I can think about right now.

Literally. Oh, my God. She didn't imply it at first. I was like, okay, how the fuck are you? going to pay $100 for this U-Haul right now. I'm not. I'm going to pay with my mouth. Oh, my God.

I know. And me and my, me and her daughter are literally sitting in the car and we're just like fucking playing on her games on our phones. Like, wow, she's going to probably suck his dick off like for this fucking U-Haul. I'm like, wild bitch.

Oh my God. So did she get through U-Haul for free? No. Okay. He didn't. Yeah. Well, no, I don't, I don't think he even wanted her. Okay.

Right. So, yeah, I pay for it. she gets the U-Haul. So you did pay for it. Yeah. Okay. So she gets the U-Haul and then, but she needs me to like follow her. I don't even fucking remember why.

Like I had to follow her because she had to go to, I forget what that place is called, but where you have to give pee when you're on pro-bo to make sure you're not on drugs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So she had to stop there too. And then the daughter goes in her car. They get in their little U-Haul and they leave. And I don't see them for a while again.

no contact. So you don't know where they went. Mm-mm. So basically they just used you to... Yeah. Okay. Yeah. It like became a situation of like, I owe my life to them.

Okay. Right. Or the mom, whatever. But I owe my life to her because she helped me with my grieving and the time because now I'm thinking that that made my grieving process way worse. Absolutely. Right. So like, but in the moment I'm like, she was my vessel.

She got me through this. She talked to my dead boyfriend. Like that woman is like. God send, right? And I didn't look inward on like, oh, she needs my money. She needs this. She's living in a weird, like, area. She didn't even let her daughter graduate high school. Like, she didn't care about her, like, going to school, nothing. They basically just, like, stayed in their house, and I don't even know how the fuck she made money. I think her, like, the girl's dad is, like, from another country and he would just send them money, but, like, the mom would keep it to, like,

buy shit that she didn't need. Right. So, fast forward, now I'm dating my current boyfriend. I'm kind of like now we're not talking as much because she like went away after the U-Haul. And then again, I get a text like, hey, I miss you. Let's meet up. So I'm like, okay, I will because you felt like you owed her something. Yeah. Like although I'm starting to mature and I don't really give a fuck about them as much, I still felt like I'd owe or something. So and there would also, this is another thing. Like there would be situations where I would be like with different friends and she would call me and be like, can you please like come? I have no money. I'm out of gas. Like, can you please come give me some money for gas?

And I would. And I would literally borrow money from like my friends that were driving at the time because I didn't have the money. And they would like let her borrow it, which ended up being like not borrowed because we never got the money back. But so it just became a cycle of like I felt like I was fucking paying her now. Right. Like before it was like kind of more genuine,

although I thought it was all fake. But there wasn't anything in return that I had to give her. She was just wanting to help me until it started being like, no, she needs my money for her life. And so I get a call or text again and she's like, I want to see you, whatever we see each other. And she's really looking for a job at this point. And I'm working at my current boyfriend's aunt's hair salon.

So when I start working there, I'm there for like six months before this happened. So I'm pretty close with the owners because my boyfriend's family, whatever. And they're like, yeah, she can come work because at that time, I'm almost graduating. high school and I had to like literally my boyfriend's aunt would be like can you come like at 12 when I'm literally in high school in a class I'm like no like we need like an adult to take over some shifts for me and I was like perfect I can get her a job she doesn't need shit from me I'm like still fine with her so I don't mind working with her and she comes for the training and this fucking situation was legit the last straw and it's just wild how a woman my mom's age can operate like that

with an 18 year old. So she comes for the training. She does a really great job. I like hype her up like to let her get the job, whatever. I'm close with the owners. And the training is over. But she ends the training at like two and I'm working till five. And she doesn't have a car at this point.

Because after she hit the neighbor, he took the car away. Right. So she doesn't have a car. She's basically relying on like friends and whatever to drive her places. So she gets to the training and it's her time to leave the training. And she's like, can I please borrow your car? car. I'll go clean it for you. I'll wash it out. I'll put gas in it for like getting me this job. Like just my little like token of appreciation. And I'm like, eh, I guess. Like my mom paid for this car

though. Like don't fuck it up. Right. It's not like my thing right now. So she leaves. I'm like, please be back at like 4.30. I get off at five. I just want to make sure that my car is ready for me to go when I'm done. Also at this point, the owners, my boyfriend's whatever, they, um, don't know that she doesn't have a car because that was like kind of a requirement to have a vehicle to get to work. Right, to get there. But she really needed a job so we're like, we're just not going to tell them. So she leaves and it hits 5 o'clock. I can't know.

She's nowhere to be found. And this bitch has my car. Right. And I need to go home. I have school the next day. And it's like 530 now. Still no call. I'm like, oh my fuck.

And I'm like. Were you calling her? Yeah. And she's just not responding at all. I'd be shitting. myself. Yeah. And also at this point, I'm like supposed to be off my shit and I'm kind of close with that

with like the owner. So I'm like, oh, I just want to work longer. Like I'm just. Right. Are you supposed to tell them? Yeah. Like actually the psycho bitch who told me she can talk to my dad boyfriend actually took my car. Right.

Oh my God. I can't say that. So the car is still nowhere to be found and it's like 6 p.m. now. And I'm like, oh my God. I'm never going to see this woman again and she just stole my fucking car. What am I going to tell my mom? Right. My foreign mom who doesn't really understand any of what's going on with, like, with this psychic,

weirdo. Like, I'm going to have to tell her A through D and then we're going to have to go to the police. So all of a sudden, it's like 6.45 she shows up. I'm so fucking pissed at her. I'm like, okay, I don't give a fuck everything you've done from me. Like, I would be mad at my own parent for just not reaching out, whatever. Especially when you let somebody borrow something. Right.

And it's just, yeah, that's fucked up. And I think she, like, thought, again, she had this. this like seniority or whatever, like a super, like whatever, just above me because first all she's older, second while she's helped me through all this shit. So she comes back and she's like crying and she's like, I'm so sorry. I ended up having to go help my dad move some boxes like an hour away. My car smells like cigarettes. Nothing's cleaned out. I barely have any gas left in my car. I ended up like having basically a flat tire after she drove out. I'm like, what the fuck did this bitch do with my car?

Yeah. Like I'm just, and she just was not honest about any of it. So, and at this point, this is when I find out where the hell they moved after they got kicked out of the ex-girlfriend's house. So she starts driving herself. I was like, let me drive. No, she was being obnoxious, whatever. Just get yourself where you need to go because I don't know where you live and we're done.

So she pulls into this place and I'm like, holy fuck, they live in the storage unit. No. her and the daughter. And I feel so bad for the daughter. Like, I honestly do. I mean, that's her mom. She's never going to leave the situation. So, like, that's just so sad.

So you drove her to the storage unit. Well, she drove herself. So when I got there, I was, like, even more shook. Because it's not like she told me, go to the storage unit. Right. So we show up. Literally, the daughter, like, opens the fucking storage door.

She's just standing there. You can just see, like, their beds and, like, their shit everywhere. And I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? You're living in this place? Right. Did you say anything to her? Yeah, I was like, but I was so mad too that I didn't even care. Like, I can, if I'm really, really mad and you fucked me over, like, I don't care.

So at this point, did you say anything about the job? Yeah, so I was basically like, I'm not helping you anymore. And oh, even one time, my boyfriend had a driver to work because she worked the shift after me and couldn't get there. It was always the excuse. I can't get there. I have no one to drive me. So why did you take the job? Right, right.

Right. Like you should have just said no, because now it looks bad on me, right? Like, what the fuck am I supposed to do? with like, what am I supposed to tell them? Right. So, um, she gets out of the car. I'm basically like cussing her out. Like, I've never cussed out of a 50 year old, but that was the one time I did.

Yeah. I was like, don't talk to me ever again. I'm done. So I drive away. The story is wild, whatever, but she's so working there. I'm like, this is so uncomfortable now because like this is kind of my thing that I got her. She really fucked me over at this point. I don't really believe anything else she says to me.

So at this point, were you, like, convinced that everything she had told you about the boyfriend was a lie? Yes and no. Okay. Like, because there was certain things that I think she said to help me, but then I think she would lie to make it seem more like he was saying them. Right. But she's not psychic at all, not a medium at all. No. And then I later found out that the things that were said was the girl telling her because apparently I would tell her things.

What girl? Her daughter? her daughter, but I would forget that I would tell her, like, certain things about our relationship. So the daughter was feeding the mom information about you and the boyfriend and then the mom was telling you as if she was being told from the dead boyfriend. Yeah. Yeah. How fucking wild is that?

Like, if you think about it for a second, just like the amount of manipulation you have to, like, you have to go to bed and, like, think about the things you do. And obviously. So what was her reasoning? I don't even know. Just like. I think that they just twist. I mean, there's a chance that they're just a twisted bunch.

Yeah. For sure. And I think they just like real. Some people just gravitate high. That's blue. Oh. Some people just gravitate towards like others people's grief. Right.

And I've actually like seen like a few people that have already been like that past. Yeah. Like there's like a few girls in high school. that would like still post about him when I knew they weren't friends with him, you know? I love that. Yeah. And I'm like, why are you, oh my gosh, I know. Why are you like so obsessed with the fact that he's not here, you know?

And I think that some people are just like that. And I think that she knew that if she could convince the shit out of me that I would do anything for her. I was going to say. Yeah. Maybe to know too that even like in a way to support herself, you know. Yeah. Hi. Hi, Bluey.

what do you do and you come to say hi to us oh you're so cute today oh you're cute she hasn't been getting much attention because of um the dogs oh my god i want a cat my boyfriend works in down in detroit and there's a bunch of homeless cats that just like crawl on him while he works and i'm like please bring it home just one yeah um yeah so that's whack so after that time did you just like cut off yeah so basically she was still working at the hair salon and um i was kind of making my ship where it wasn't like anywhere near around the same time as hers, but it would work out like that because I'm still trying not to tell the owners.

Right, because you don't want to look bad on you. Yes, because it's not just owners. I would have done it if it was just owners, but this is my boyfriend's family. Right, yeah. Like, it's just, like, weird to, like, talk about that with them. Right, for sure. And then at some point, she, like, started reaching out again

and apologizing and trying to make amends for what happened with the car. And I was kind of like, okay, that's fine. but then of course she has to prove herself as not as apologetic as she was so this is like around when COVID first starts and I get COVID so I can't work for like the week because you can't just like wash her and be in people's faces when you have COVID plus everyone's still scared right so I was like you have to work my shifts for me like I'm not going to be able to come in I'm pretty sick and she's like no problem at all like um I hope you feel better I'm like so worried about you I hope it's fine

And I'm like, okay, cool. Literally the next fucking day, I get 4,000 texts of how I'm the biggest bitch. I'm like... From her? Yeah, because I'm not coming into work. Like, literally, I just feel like everything I just said about COVID. She just did not even, like, register in her brain. And it's wild because you could literally see the text.

Like, I didn't call her and tell her this. It's literally right before. Right. And she's like, all caps. Again, 50-year-old woman. Just like, you're a fucking bitch, so selfish. I had to clean and do something. many towels and work so many hours. I'm like, okay, first of all, you fucking had to suck your

suck a guy's dick for you haul. You probably need the money. I was going to say, like, she could use the extra hours. Right. So I'm like, why are you like getting so angry that you had to work more than you usually do? Yeah. So she's just like literally cussing me out and I'm kind of like cool, whatever. Like I just don't care anymore. I really don't. Like you're nothing. Like at this point, this is when I'm kind of like, yeah, she's full of fucking shit. I'm done. So she cusses me out. At this point, I, quit the hair salon because I'm like, I don't want anything to do with her anymore. And I'm pretty much going off to college.

And our relationship, me and the owners kind of started getting weird because it's my boyfriend's family and I didn't want to work with them and tarnish, you know. Right. So it's kind of like, I'm kind of over this job anyway. So I quit and I left. And she stayed there for longer after I left. And I would get a call again. Like, I'm literally on a boat in the summer.

And she's like, can you please get me Adderall? Can you please get me Xanax? Like, I'm literally like, you're after. fucking work first of all no second of all i'm not your like drug dealer it just like over time yeah got so much worse and i think it's because she saw me pulling away right it was like she was pulling onto anything she could at that point yeah and i was kind of like no i'm not gonna do this anymore it's just not worth my time you just want money and drugs for me you just want she wanted it was using you yeah it was using yeah using somebody that was in a very vulnerable place it's just

it blows my mind that there's people out there that are like in their 50s or just in general, but like there's somebody that would see someone's trauma or see somebody's vulnerability and literally take advantage of it for such stupid reasons. Like her reasons were just so obviously like dumb. Yeah, yeah.

But she like, I think it really made her life like cool. I was gonna say like maybe even mentally for her it did something like made her feel powerful. Like feel like, oh well, I can convince somebody that they need me. Like maybe she wanted to feel needs. Yeah. And I think it was also like she felt special in that moment because I believed her pretty fast, you know? I feel like sometimes it takes someone a while to bully get their like control and like manipulate them to the point where they know like damn they're like in my hands. But it happens so fast because what she would say would be like for hours of conversation where I would like be like at the end like damn I believe her.

And then I already believed her and it was not even like a month past. past it. And again, I'm not in school when it first started. So like I'm focusing most of my time and my energy because that's so I can think about right now. Yeah. So she really, really got like, she had her hoax in. Yeah. Yeah. Completely. It was probably like the wildest, no, it is the wildest experience I've ever had because I am the type of person to not really take shit from others. Yeah. And I don't know if that happened just because of what has happened to me. So now I've become this person. But I think I've always have been kind of like not. And I just like, if I see somebody get scammed on a phone call, I'm like, don't be stupid.

Right. But I was so vulnerable that I allowed it to happen. And then you haven't talked to her since that last time? So the funny thing is, is after she like asked for drugs, I was like, don't fucking talk to me ever again. She basically, let's say, a month and a half ago. So what I just finished saying was two and a half years ago. Okay. So it's still pretty recent.

Yeah. But so like about a month ago, I. I get a message and it says her name and it's like blah blah blah sent you $50. And it was like on not like Venmo. It was like one of those like weirder like money transaction app. So I'm like what the fuck, bro? So I go and look and she actually did it. It was her and she said like the, you know, I have to put a description.

She put a red heart. And I'm like. So she just randomly sent you $50. Yeah. And I just did not respond. That's so weird. I just left to be. I was like no.

Right. I know exactly what's going to happen. Maybe that too was. her way of like trying to draw like fish you back in. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Wow. Yeah.

And not only that. So like once that all ended, I started hearing a lot of like weird things about the old friend too. Like she would say something along the lines like, I'm happy he died. Like just wild shit from her about like that people would tell me that she would say. That's the one that you live with. Yeah. So it was just like this whole mix of like they all kind of were like this own cult against me.

Right. In a way. Like the fact that they lived together and then. Somehow they ended up having my birth certificate. Like when I was still friends with the mom, she's like, oh, I have your birth certificate. It was at your old friend's house. And she like never actually gave it back to me.

She just said she had, it was just such a weird like situation. And I, this is why I explained in the beginning, my kind of relationship with my mom, because you would think that you would want to tell your mom that you're kind of going through this, like right away. But again, she knew, because I would tell her I'm not that close to my mom.

Like I've always been an independent person. So I think she knew that anything she would say to me wouldn't really get around too much at all. Yeah. Especially to like an adult. Did you end up telling your mom about all that? Yeah. But I think she was like just really fucking confused.

Yeah, I'm sure. Because again, she's just like never thought that that would happen to her child. So also like what are the odds that like somebody does that and that happens? Right. Like I almost feel like too, it's maybe more common if it was somebody your age. But the fact, like, that's whack as far.

Yeah. And it was just like, once I started telling my story to people, and that's why I kind of wanted to come on, people were like, what the fuck? Because I feel like sometimes when you look at someone, you can judge them, right? You can, like, tell that they are this person or they're this person, and I kind of want people to know that what's on the outside

isn't what's always on the inside. Yeah. And I may look a certain way, like, blonde, whatever, but I have been through shit. And that like makes, I feel like the outside perspective look at someone and be like, I can't judge them ever again. And you actually never know what somebody's gone through. Exactly.

Like they could be the prettiest, ugliest, weirdest, nicest person ever. But they could have had a story that. Gone through some shit. Yeah. Well, the thing is too, like you said that I think is interesting is the fact that you're typically not somebody that would fall for shit like that. And the fact that you, like, it just goes to show too that like if somebody gets you with the right time.

Yeah. Like, you could believe anything. And that's exactly what she did because she knew that that's like the one thing that could really, really get me. Right.

Yeah. It was, sometimes when I really, really think about it, other than being so angry at them and myself, is that, first of all, I let it ruin the relationship

between my boyfriend and passed away's family and me. So you don't talk to them at all anymore? I rekindled it, kind of, like about a year ago, because he died like, five, six years ago now. So I kind of rekindled with the mom first. I told her this story.

Yeah. And she like, although it's not an excuse, like I could have just still gone and been with them. But she was like, I understand more now. This woman literally. Well, also everyone does grieve differently. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Yeah. And she was obviously very angry. Like this fucking woman told you that we don't love you and we don't care about you. Like she was like, wow. And his older sister, she's like 25. She was most hurt by it because we were like super close. Yeah.

And I like really just disassociated from them because if you're getting fed that by someone you really, really trust that these people don't have your best interest, then you believe them. Right. Right. And you kind of dissociate with the people that they're saying not to be friends with because, A, I felt like if I went against what she was saying, it would ruin the kind of vibe of like her feeding me what he's saying to me, right? Like I feel like if she knew like, oh, you said not to hang out with his family, but I still did.

She would be super pissed and like it would end. Right. And I didn't want it to. Right. You were holding on to like the last of him. Exactly. Exactly. And that's what also hurts is like I feel like there's just like this tarnished truth of like what even is now.

Right. Because it felt like he was still so alive and everything that she was saying was from him. But like I want to hope that maybe it was. But if it wasn't, then that's just so fucking sad. Yeah. That it's basically just her making it up and, you know. vinsing you that like right things that he was saying yeah so whack as fuck yeah that is crazy as shit i know well i'm glad you came on to talk about i'm glad i came on and everything else in between

and i am really sorry by the way the crazy thing is is like when people say they're sorry when i think about that like i'm so numb to it you know what i mean like when you go through something and someone's sorry it's like don't be sorry because like it's so no i know i'm the same way like with my dad Yeah. We were like, oh, like, if I tell them and they're like, oh, I'm so sorry for your loss. And I'm like, yeah. Like I think it's just like people say it as like a. Yeah, like a normal, like a happy birthday, right?

Like you're just supposed to say it. It's like, you're supposed to say it. And I think it's nice to say it because it's like shows that people have common decency. But yeah, it means nothing. Yeah. Like I'm glad you. Yeah. 100%.

It's like you're so numb to it that it's like, I rather I was just like laugh about it. Not even in like a sick way. Yeah. But like, I mean, I we all like I even, I talk about my. my dad like in a joking way all the time. Yeah, I heard about that story that. Yeah, like I say my cat is my dad at times when I'll call him my dad's name and or call her my dad's name.

Like you're just like joking. So it's like I almost get more. It's like better to remember people that passed away sometimes in a more like lighthearted funny way. Even if to other people it seems like she might she might have a loose screw. But like yeah, I don't, I'm not sensitive about it. You know when a certain amount of time passes like yeah, I know what you mean. The sorries and stuff.

It's like thanks, but no thanks. Yeah, thanks for no thanks. Yeah. And I like, that's another thing is like I feel like so much time has passed. And like anyone who's grieving, someone who passed away, you kind of look at life as it's weird, right? Like you spend some time with a person, whether it's like family or boyfriend or a friend, and all of a sudden they're gone. And that's like the one thing in life we just actually don't know where they go.

It's scary. Like think about it. Like the one thing you know for sure in your life is you will die, but it's like the most unknown thing. And you also don't know when and how. And then it's like you have to like live in this life where you're trying not to live in fear. Yeah.

And like to like worry and stress about that. But then at the same time you're like, well, it could happen at any moment. Exactly. Yeah. And people are just taken from you in the matter of like seconds. Exactly. And then you're kind of like. It makes you like, I always feel like too.

It gives me like kind of this like uneasy like sick feeling. because I'm like, how is it, even like how traumatic it is, like what happened to your ex-boyfriend or boyfriend at the time, like, something like that. That's just so, to me, it's like, it's such a freak accident. Like, those just, like, freak me out and scare me more. So it's like something that you would just never expect. Expect at all. And it's just like wild because now that it has happened, you're like, what if that could be you?

Because, like, I like, I think about him and I'm like, he obviously never, like, thought that would ever happen to him. Right. And I think that has started to like kind of creep in. on me as I've gotten older. Yeah. When I was younger, I never really thought about it. Then he died and I right away, she came to my life and kind of like saved it. And I still thought like he was alive.

So it didn't even feel like he was really dead, you know? Yeah. And then now that so much time has passed, it's like, oh, fuck. Like that, it just happens. Right. You actually did lose somebody. Yeah. And it's very, it's very sad.

But at the same time, I've grown up a lot. And I'm like, I'm really proud of that because I went from like 1.0 to 4.0. I went from like taking people's shit to like being my own independent person, making my own money, doing my own thing. And I'm sure I would have still done that regardless if he was alive or not. But it really literally just like made me so strong, you know? And you have to be. Absolutely. You have another choice.

Like I always say like he's that either way. I can either make every single thing that I do to people and myself an excuse because of it. or I can try to live my best life because I still get that opportunity. And either way. And either way, he's gone, but I have to. Right. So. Well, you did amazing.

How do you feel? Did you have fun? Yeah. I mean, driving nine hours for Devorah. I know. Like, imagine that. Like, I'm so lucky. That's amazing.

Dude, I mean, I've been watching for so long and I'm like, you are definitely someone that I want to talk to about this. No, you're the best. Seriously. Like, I loved listening to it. You're so entertaining. the way that you tell your story. Is it good?

What's the gun? Yeah, I'm like in it so much. I'm like, wait, what happens next? I kind of see Julie's face and she's like. I know. Like I'll see Julie out of the corner of my eye. I'm like there she goes like like laughing when you say certain things. But no, you did amazing.

Thank you. Thank you so much for coming on and sharing your story. You did great. I love it.