We're All Insane - Sexually Assaulted by Spiritual Beings

Episode Date: January 13, 2025

As a deeply spiritual individual, Yaya opens up about her experience of being sexually assaulted by spiritual entities. She shares how this traumatic event challenged her beliefs and her journey toward healing, understanding, and reclaiming her spiritual path. Through her vulnerability, she sheds light on a rarely discussed topic, offering insights into the intersection of spirituality, trauma, and resilience. If you have a unique story you'd like to share on the podcast, please fill out this form: https://forms.gle/ZiHgdoK4PLRAddiB9 or send an email to [e-mail] Business Inquiries please contact: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey guys, it's me Devorah. I just dropped an all new bonus episode inside my new subscription channel, We're All Insane Plus. This week's bonus episode is called My Brain was slipping into my spine. Listen now by subscribing to We're All Insane Plus inside your Spotify or Apple Podcasts app or go to we're all insane.com. Oftentimes when I do try to speak about this, like the vocabulary is lacking because when you get outside of the third density and into the fourth, it's like there are no words. But I trust that the ones will come through. Yeah. So my name is Yaya. My niece named me that and it means grandmother and that's who I work with as the most, the cosmic mother. And so I also go by Asha Yaya, which is kind of like, not kind of, it's a title

in the higher dimensional realms. So, yeah, yeah, is what I choose to go by the most, though. And my, so we have our DNA, right? We see it as three-strand DNA, but we actually have DNA up to 48 strands and even higher. And when I was younger, about one is when my higher strands started to be activated, which means you're holding a very massive consciousness and a very small human body.

So when I was one is when my higher aspects existing in the higher realm started to come online. So even from a young age, I was perceiving the world in a high level on a high level. And so I remember choosing to come here. I remember choosing to come to Earth. I remember choosing my contracts, reading over them. knowing what it was going to look like, knowing what I had agreed to encounter here to achieve full remembrance. And so when I was seven, I had a massive walk-in, soul walk-in, where a big chunk of my higher oversaw, just walked in. And I had more strands activated. And when I was seven,

is when I started to be attacked by certain forces. My father is a pastor. And around seven is when I started to astral project and astral travel in our house. And there were like all of these entities chilling, mostly in his study, because he would do exorcisms on people. And then he would come home. He would come home.

Okay. Not realizing. that they were on him. Yeah, like it's hatching to him. Yeah. And so just naturally, innately, I would be walking around the house in my light body, in my caw body. So the caw body is the etheric twin to the physical body.

Okay. So it can, if it's strong enough, that's how we astral project is in that light body. So I'd be walking around the house and they would always be in his study. And like these big brown heads, kind of like grayish black, with like these super creepy smiles. And I remember being like a little bit intimidated. But it's like even then I was just such a badass. Like I would just be moving them out,

doing all these cool things that just natural to my using the light and the higher aspects to move them out of the house. but then there were the instances where I was sexually assaulted by beings and abducted and experimented on. And I would, there were a few times that I would come to and it would be happening. And then out of protection, it was just like shut down. And in these experiences, there's certain things called implants. And they're made of deadlight. And during these experiences where I was abducted, they placed them in my hips and in my womb.

And I actually even had this instance where I was about 10 or 11. And I remember where I was, I was in my childhood bedroom. I was in my bunk bed. I sat up, I looked down on my stomach, and I was like, I'm pregnant. I'm 10. A 10-year-old doesn't know what being pregnant. I knew. And I didn't know how to verbalize it because of my age, but I knew.

And I was extremely panicky. And I went to my mom outside. She was unloading groceries out of her car. and I told her, I said, I had a baby in my tummy. And I even had a full-blown manic panic attack breakdown where I broke out in shingles. And if you know what shingles is, you get it at very older ages when first stress. And my dad had to put like a steroid cream. And it's right on my left lower back, which is where the silver cord is.

is the silver cord is what connects us to our oversaw and the ethers and the cosmos. And it had been severed and then they had replaced it with a different one. That was a siphoning one that gave all these other entities control over my life force. Siphoning. And it went even into something that is known as a sexual misery program. And a lot of indigoes are on those lists, sexual misery implants, where they are used as slaves, really. And all of this happens in the astral realm. And not many people have a ton of knowledge about the astral realm and how it works.

And not to interrupt you, but I, okay, so, and it might be hard for me to ask certain questions, too, because it's like, I don't really know the terminology. but so a little while ago I did a soul painting and the woman that did the soul painting she kind of the way that she does it is I guess I think I gave her my name my birthday that might have been it oh and then she has a call with me and you know basically over the course of like a month or two she kind of lets what comes to her naturally and she makes a painting based on your soul and it's a bunch of different layers and textures and all this stuff and then after it's done she has a call with you and gives you an understanding of what each layer meant, you know, that came to her.

And when I talked to her, she was kind of telling me, and she's super spiritual how, and I've, at this time as well, I was reading a few different spiritual books. So it was kind of aligning and making sense to me. But once again, I'm not super found in it. So I, like, I don't always know. But there was a time that she, there was a point that she said, yeah, like, you have been on this earth multiple times and and basically not that this is your like your last time but you're coming close because you're getting more you're reaching and understanding younger and younger, you know, and earlier in life. Yes.

And so basically the reason I bring that up is because based on what you were saying of like how you kind of had that start happening to you at a younger age and you remember, you know, before coming into this life, like you knew what. you were signing up for. I guess my question to you is, is that kind of a similar thing where, like, you are aware, see, and I don't like to, like, I don't know exactly of the terms of, like, reincarnation and all that's. I know those are very, like, simple terms that have kind of been put of what these things are,

what people are familiar with. But I guess, does that kind of make sense? Like, I don't really know how to ask it. But I guess what I'm saying is, like, with each life that you get placed into and when you're coming back into this. real world. I feel like there's some people that they'll live until they're 80, 90 and they'll never, ever have a spiritual understanding, whereas some people, they'll come into this life form, and they'll have an understanding at a very young age, like you did. Or like maybe when they're more,

like, in their 20s or 30s, they'll start to kind of delve into it and be more in tune and in touch with their higher selves and the powers that we actually do hold. Right. You know, So I guess, like, is that, do you think that's kind of what that would have been for you? Like, where, when it started happening at such a young age for you? Well, I wasn't. So the planet, Earth, she has an ascended form too. And Gaia, which is the seventh dimensional form of her, that exists in the seventh dimension. dimension.

She's the one who asked me to come here. Because this planet, as we are ascending in consciousness, so is the planet. And so this planet has been stuck in reincarnation cycles where people don't have access to their higher aspects because of the dark forces who have been manipulating the planet. They've been monopolizing the planet. And they have been siphoning people's energy. that's what they feed on because they don't have souls. These entities don't have souls.

They feed on, they lush people. They take their illusion. They feed on their fear and their ignorance and their illusion and all of the, all of those things. So I have ascended this planet many times. And I didn't just come here. You know, I ascended it. I ascended it.

And so I was asked to come here to help. with the ascension cycles to help with the aspects of consciousness. And I'm not the only one. There's a whole collective of indigoes that are known as the future lineages of Christ. And it's not anything having to do with Jesus. Christ is a sound like harmonic emanation from the higher densities. It's not a person. Christ is a kind of light and it is a sword because it destroys all illusion.

all toxicity, anything that's dead light, false light. So, yes, people are, there's a lot of people who are, have no connection to their, to their soul. So they're walking around like NPCs, people, just robots, zombies. Isn't it crazy? That's always been something, at least more recently, that's been so interesting to me, is how some people are so in tune, even just like with themselves. And then some people, it's like they don't, they're not even close to having any sort of

understanding. Like they're just so absorbed with all of this synthetic world. Yes. Literally. He took the words out of my mouth. Yes. The synthetic world. And another thing is this is a whole experiment.

The human experience. It's like a game. And once I broke through. through like the 12th up to the 15th is when I really, like my gifts really came online and I, and this is like a computer simulation. It's wild and it's all reflected in your mind and what you choose to believe. And so many people, especially the ones who are so tied to the synthetic world, they're so deeply programmed with that false light that they can't perceive higher light at all.

And that's why I'm here and why a lot of others are here to put these high levels into the grid so that everybody can get there. Because once one person does it. So the goal technically would be that all, I guess, all beings, okay, kind of achieve that to like they can achieve that and be at that destination yes and i i believe it could it can even be NPCs can even be evolved you know it's all DNA it's all DNA and each dimensional layer is connected to a different cosmic race and lineage that existed here long ago and so all those all those rays of light hold information. And once you get through like the fifth and then you go into the

sixth, then you go into the seventh, there are codes that kind of unleash in your blood and in your DNA. And they hold ketones, key codes. You could be given incredible high level information and not absorb a word of it. It will be word salad to you because you don't have the key codes to interpret it and download it. And then three weeks later, you could have had this massive breakthrough in terms of the mind and the emotional body and the light body. You'll be given that same information. And it'll download because you opened those dimensional layers in your light body. Now, do you think for you, since these things have kind of just come to you, I guess, more naturally? Because I feel like for other people, like for example, someone like me, I feel like for me to get a better understanding

and gain a higher, once again, don't know the terms, but like, you know, get more in tune with my higher self. I find that meditation is like the only thing that really helps me or the thing that kind of makes me kind of like what you said before, tap into and understand things that don't really have words to describe. But for, I feel like that's because I'm so underdeveloped with spirituality. You know what I mean? Like I feel like I'm still so new with it, but someone like you that I feel like,

because obviously I guess my question is are you more does it come more naturally to you because you've done it so many different times and different lifetimes or is it because you're at a completely different

place like you know how they I think it's both simultaneously because because like the star seeds which I only have know about because of TikTok and I've only seen it a couple times would those be considered like not I know

I guess, like, are they a different type? Like, they're not, what would the terms be? Because I know, like, it's not human, but like. Right, no. There's different races. Because we're, I would be considered, what, like a soul? Well, you have a soul. Okay.

But you have a spirit, too. Okay. Which is the light body. So soul and spirit are different. And you have a mental body. Okay. Emotional body. So a star seed, do they have all that as well?

Or is that, like, it's own body? category. Yes. Okay. The idea of star seeds and indigoes, cosmic rainbow children, light warriors, shadow walkers, whatever you want to call them, they have their higher strands of DNA are already activated. Okay. So that opens higher light channels in the light body that connect to that to the higher mind, the God mind. And so their gifts, like clair cognizance, the gift of knowing, clairvoyance, the gift of seeing, clear audience, the gift of hearing, clair sentience, clairempathy, which are feeling.

They're... So, like, a lot of people have a tough time understanding me because I know things. Well, how do you know that? I just know. Because my gifts... And it didn't always come naturally, though. Okay. And that's why these collectives of cosmic star beings have chosen, again, it's choice. Their contracts hold high-level trauma to go through because that's what it takes to expand your gifts here.

So like the whole being sexually assaulted by entities, having implants that would flare up my whole life. It put me into this whole, I, I. I'm married into a very dark family that was very Catholic and it was very dark. And there's even some questionable stuff there in terms of the black market and poisoning and stuff that I've worked through. But I also made a choice to let go of everything. I let go of everything I knew in terms of my mind. I let go of all my friends, my career, my music career, my family, my job, everything I had.

I threw it away. I sold it. And I moved up into the mountains and was in meditation all day, every day for five months. And then I continued my sacred solitude for, it was a total of 14 months that I was going through initiations every day to where, my light body would be kind of like burnt down to the ground and then rebuilt every day. And I did this so that I could get to these high dimensional oils. It was not easy. Okay.

And for most of the time, I wanted to leave the planet. It took all of my being to really ground into my center every day and understand and remember why I'm doing this. This is much bigger than me. and it was awful. It was terrible. I would not wish anyone on that kind of because I was also being tortured. I had all these implants that would flare up

because the other forces, they know. They're not dumb. But they would flare up. And so it was like, we know, we've all heard of MK. MK Ultra. What is that? It's like a biological weapon, psychological weapon, psychological,

warfare. They use these, um, the implants that are in there. Dead light is known as myasma. It's, it's dead light. It's light that is dead. It's false light. So these currents of this dead light are put into like the one D and two D of the planet and they're surging through all, all the buildings, like everywhere you go, it's just being flooded into people. So that would flare up in me and it was like torture mentally, emotionally and physically. I spent a lot of my time sleeping and in the astral so that I could find the strength to get up and do it again. So it was like this whole journey and I did it on my own.

I didn't have anyone. That's not true. I had my team and a couple of friends like this woman Bell came out of nowhere. She had a whole book about me. Never met her in my life. All this stuff about me starting when I was seven years old. And it was her that saved my life. I had like, I had a gun in my mouth. I was like, I'm out. This doesn't make sense to me. Because I didn't have full remembrance until like my remembrance started coming online a year and a half ago, like fully. So, but there was that that strong, strong but quiet voice, my soul, that said, you know who you are, keep going.

You know who you are. Keep going. You are an incarnate of the cosmic mother in physical form, very potent. That's who I am. And that exists inside everyone. And it's not easy, but it's all part of it. it's off of the plot. Like once you get to a point where you're,

you're balanced, and you really do know who you are, you, that victim mentality just, just kind of dissolves. And then you're standing in strength and knowing that you're emitting these light. And everywhere you go, it's shifting the room.

It's shifting, shifting, shifting, shifting. And for the betterment of everybody. And then the astral realm, Mm-hmm. So when you say that you were how old when you said that you spent most of your time there? Was it at seven when things were happening to you or 10? Like to basically block out what was happening to you? From when I was seven and on.

Okay. So can you explain that realm a little bit? Yeah. So the astral realm is what we know is time is where the, because we all have a causal body. and what the causal body, it's made up of seven rings. And these rings are like the space, right, the body, the space that holds light, which is time. Time is just light. So in the astral realm, it's like it is the mind and it is time itself.

And so anything is really possible there. Like I would have experiences where I was picking things up with my mind, shattering glass, flying. Like, I could do whatever I wanted until I was taken by those entities. So that's the 4D, that's 4D. That's the mind of the planet. So it's basically the dream world. And when you say you were taken by them, was that in this realm or in that astral realm?

Both. Okay. But it was mainly astral. They take your entire consciousness. Okay. And like basically they're trying to manipulate it. Yeah. And then like I had, like I was pregnant.

And they had, there was an actual baby. And they took it. And so they're there. And I have met other people who I was there with. It was like this instant remembrance like, oh. and then they get visions, I get visions, and we're all putting it together. And one of them, she's my best friend. And it's interesting because I saw a medium recently and she was like, you lost a child.

And I was like, yeah, when I was 10. And I've never told anyone that, really. And so for her to see it instantly, it also was a huge confirmation for me. Yeah. Because I know how this sounds. But that's just the thing is like there's this whole aspect of this world that people don't think is real. You know, that is seen as insane and it's so real. So when people, and what's interesting to me is, you know, like I was saying to you before we got started,

I feel like there's different levels to it for sure. So many. But it's interesting because, you know, when you're scrolling through TikTok or like, I've read a couple books, And it makes, it's like just like you're not even your toe is in the door. You know what I mean? Because like you're reading about manifestation and like meditation. You're like, wow, I'm in more control than I think. But like I feel like that's still, like based on everything you're saying now, that's still all materialistic and superficial.

Like, you know what? Like people are trying to manifest their perfect life, but it's the perfect life in this world. It's not, it's nothing within themselves. You know what I mean? And I feel like, so it's, it's interesting to me because hearing you, I don't think, I don't know if people even understand that, that like, I feel like that their manifestation, it's, I think it's very real. But it's still not, you're still not reaching that level of, like, consciousness, like within yourself. It's still within like, it's like manipulating your reality. Yeah.

But it's still a false reality. Like, that's only going to last until this body's done. Right. So it's just interesting to me, like, like I was telling you, when I meditate, my favorite thing about meditation is like almost figuring out things about myself or having these realizations about myself that I don't even understand and you can't really describe, but it's almost like this feeling of comfort and knowing. But it's not, and I do believe we have the control to make our time here on earth and in these

bodies like the best that we can. But I don't know. It's almost like it's interesting. Like I feel like the more, the older I get and the more. into meditation and understanding I get, the less I want to be around other people. Yeah. And it's not even, and I'm not a mean person.

Like, I mean, I do this show and I love to help people and hear their stories. But when it comes to people, like, in everyday life, it's weird because I feel bad saying, like, I don't like people. But at the same time, I feel like, how can I be around people when our understandings are just not even, not even close? No, yeah. You know? I keep my circle small. Yeah. I allow myself around one person.

Right. And like even me coming here is like a big deal. Yeah. And that is not something that anybody should feel bad about because there's still so many people that project their problems outward. They take things personally. They expect other people to take care of them. They expect other people to take care of their trauma and deal with their shadow work.

And that's just not it. we are all responsible for ourselves and our outward world is going to mirror our inner world. And so when people treat their energy as sacred and who actually understand that, they take responsibility for their own reality. Hey, I'm Jeremy Schwartz from American Criminal. On this season, robbery gone wrong or cold-blooded murder. Either way, Boston will never be the same. Listen to American Criminal, the murder of Carol Stewart, wherever you get your

podcasts or to get early at free access, subscribe in Apple Podcasts, Spotify or at Americancriminal.com. That's a beautiful thing. The fact that you respect yourself enough to take care of your energy field, to treat it as royal because it is. The idea that we have to be these martyrs that save other people, the best thing that you can do for anyone is love yourself. Yeah. It's a paradox with the idea that the best thing you can do for the planet is love yourself. Yeah. I respect that. I'm in the same way. It's just so interesting, like how even with the like the astrology stuff, it, and I think that that it's all in different categories once

again, but it's just so intriguing to me the levels of under, like how. Yeah. It's so much. much deeper. Like I said, when I was watching your TikToks, I'm like, I can't even, I can't even act like I understand what she's saying because I have no idea, like, this is so much deeper and more found spiritually than I can even, like, fathom because I feel like we're so used to, once again, if you fall into a kind of a social media spiral of spirituality, I feel like it's very limited. Like, it kind of goes as far as astrology, zodiac, different moon, like, you know, like this moon and that moon and here's what you should do at this time and manifestation, but it's nothing deeper than that.

Right. You're honestly like the first person that I've seen that kind of goes way, way deeper, but I don't understand any of it because there's nothing else. Like I'm like, wait, I want to understand, but I can't because it's like, like you said, if you're not there yet, it's almost like you can't take in the information because it doesn't make sense to you. It's almost like a foreign language, honestly. It is.

But it's so intriguing to me because it. it's like I don't understand it, but the stuff you're saying, it's like a way deeper form of kind of like the stuff I've started tapping into or kind of reading about or hearing about like when I did the soul painting. It kind of reminds me of these things. But it's just, I feel like when when I hear things that I understand, it's just like it's almost like when somebody translates something for you. You know what I mean? Like you can understand it because it's translated. But like when you say it, it's like no one's going to no one gets it because it's not. they don't have that knowledge yet or that understanding.

And I think that's why it's easier to call you crazy because it's like gibberish to them. They don't. Because people don't have the, well, not all people. A lot of people do. Right. But the, you know, the, the, the, the NPCs or the world who don't have the bandwidth. They don't have the mental, emotional, and light bandwidth to understand it. So to them, it's nonsense.

Mm-hmm. By the way, the woman who did the soul painting, was her name Forest Fairy? No. Vicky Paul. Okay. And I think she's, I don't know where she lived. I think it's out of the country, I'm pretty sure. Really, really.

I'll send you her stuff, though. She was awesome. It was so interesting. And like a lot of it... I got one done too. Really? Mm-hmm. I'll have to show you mine.

A lot of it, like, aligned with... Like I said, it was weird because when I decided to get it done, I was reading becoming supernatural by Joe Dispenza. Love that. Great. And then I also read Only Love is Real. And that's kind of like how you, about like love in different lifetimes and how if you feel that strong connection to someone, it's like those ties because it's like, you know.

And I was, you know, all that stuff like when you read it, I feel like especially if you have something like that going on, it is that confirmation. in a way. But around that time that I was reading those, I did this whole painting, I think, right after, Doring, and I was like, honestly, some of the stuff made sense only because I was reading those books. And I kind of had that knowledge. Yeah.

So I kind of feel like unless you're deep diving and kind of educating yourself on it the best you can, if you're not doing that, it's going to be harder. There's a disconnect, you know, between the two. Yeah. But I want to like, I really want to, like, I really want to, learn more, you're making me want to learn so much more. Well, that's one of the reasons I'm, I was on TikTok.

I really didn't want to be. My human was like, mur, but again, with the spiritual community, I don't resonate with the spiritual community because I really, that, that's confusing to me because everything is spiritual. Yeah. Like it's not spiritual, it's just life. Right. We're all, you know, of that.

So that's why I'm on there. Because, yes, there's sun signs, ascendant signs. There's astrology. There's human design. And it's all beautiful and should be used without attachment with awareness and mindfulness as a tool. I use that. Absolutely. But not like religiously.

I use it when it pops into my reality. Yeah. I tell my higher aspects, show me. what I need and I take what resonates and I leave what doesn't. But it's like a lot of people will revolve their whole life around these ideas, just like religion, you know. Everything is supposed to be used as a tool. You are the universe. Yes.

Right. And nothing actually has any inherent meaning. We assign meaning to things. It's like someone giving you a yellow sphere and saying, this is a blue sphere. Okay. okay okay it's actually yellow but you told me it's blue so i'm going to believe that it's blue yeah that's how this world is existing right so it's but it is so evolving it's so evolving and it's beautiful to to to watch it evolve it really is so so you were saying how it wasn't

until a year ago or so that you kind of had full remembrance? Mm-hmm. So, okay. I went, so I got my divorce and I went into the mountains. But before that, I had gotten back together with him because I had a meltdown. I had a complete mental breakdown. Thankfully so. Because I cannot gain the true higher mind if I don't lose my human mind a few times.

So there was this whole thing where I was just gave all my power away. I was on medication. I had been diagnosed, schizoaffective bipolar, and with severe panic disorder. You know, my family's all worried about me. They think I'm into drugs. My dad's mentioning mushrooms that I did. and my former partner was telling me, you know, that he wouldn't be with, he wouldn't be with me if I didn't stop doing the work I was doing and if I wasn't on meds and I was going to

check myself in. And then I had this day. We were living at my dead grandma's house, sleeping on a mattress on the floor. And I was spending most of my days in meditation like maybe six to eight hours a day because it was the only way I could stand to be here. And again, that was my choice to stay. But there was a day where the cosmic mother came to me. And she said, you need to go.

You need to leave. You need to leave. And so I just, in an instant, I took all that back. I said, leave me alone. Do not tell me what you think about me. I don't care. No, I'm not going to stop doing the work I'm doing. No, I'm not going to be on medication.

No, I'm not going to check myself. And I'm leaving. And I'm moving into the mountains by myself. I don't want to, like, with compassion but firmness, no one in my family visited me. But that's okay. I love them. And I get it.

It is hard to understand me. But once I did that, once I really let go of those ties, those attachments that are attached to this synthetic world that I had been living, right? It wasn't actually true to my highest soul. Once I let all those go, it was like I freed so many channels. I call them channels of income because we are the currency. And it's like I could see all these free channels.

And I saw them all come back to me, soul retrieval, through so many lifetimes and so many dimensional layers. And then my gifts started to open up. And then I was bursting through all these dark curses, I could see them, these chains, these dark curses, like people trying to destiny swap with me, just like all these things. And then all this stuff started showing up in my reality.

This, this, this, this. And then I started having remembrances. And we don't just remember with our conscious mind. We remember through all our senses, through feeling, through knowing through the gifts, the clairs. And so after that, when I spent those 14 months in solitude, is when it really ramped up. And then I healed my silver cord.

And then I started just remembering all sorts of things beyond to like galactic or other planets I used to live on and where I'm actually from and what I'm capable of. Like, I have gifts that are really rare, which is why I live like a princess up in a castle, because I value them. So, yeah, I guess you could say about two years ago is when I started to really remember.

And it's not something that, oh, maybe this, maybe this. It's like, oh, no, it's something I know now. It's not even a belief. It's something I know. Can you remember, so can you remember like other lifetimes that you've had here? And do you know how many there were? Well, ones that were really prominent that hold, that held massive weight because there could be an infinite amount of those.

But I want, the number 11 has been big in terms of that. Okay. massively in Egypt, in Africa. And a lot of memories of the Templars and the Cathars, the Rose lineage, the Magdalens. I am of that lineage. So, yeah, I remember a lot. And it all kind of just really came to you when you were in solitude. Like doing your meditations.

Yeah, when I just completely let go. Let go of the world and let go of everything I thought I knew. And trusted my higher aspects to show me and understanding that it's a very, to remember is a very multifaceted thing. It goes beyond human words. To remember is you're actually like putting members of yourself back in, remembering yourself. Like it's like it goes so far beyond even the senses, if that makes sense. Yeah.

No, it does. And, you know, because I know that there's documentaries and stuff about people being abducted by different entities and having things, like, placed on them. I remember I saw one that I was like, I think this woman said that she, I don't know what, they did something with her belly button. I don't remember. But, and I guess the way that we think of those or as people think of them is going to be like just very simply like aliens, you know? Like, I think that's how people just, like, think of it. They're like, oh, they were abducted by aliens and this is this and this happened. And once again, people have to believe in aliens to even, like, consider that being true.

So I guess when you talk about entities, are you, are they all different? Like, is aliens like a type? Is that, like, you know what I mean? Like, is it? So the idea of aliens, it's, it's, we are aliens. do. Right. You know, there are different types.

Okay. There are different types, yes. And even when it comes to the dark forces, the extraterrestrials, if you want, the cosmic beings that don't hold empathy, they don't have souls. Yeah. They don't understand the feminine principle, the feminine aspect of consciousness, which is what the crystalline codes are, the Christ codes. That's the feminine principle consciousness.

You have the masculine, you have feminine. They don't hold any of that. Okay. So they feed on fear. They feed on their predators, you know. And when you said that you were sexually assaulted by them, was that also in the astral realm or was that in this realm? Both.

When I was clearing those things, it was happening to me in the physical and it was weird. So like, could you see any, like, could you see them? Like, what did they look like per se? The one remembrance I have where I came to, it looked like Mollock. Do you know who Mollock is? Mollock is a demon. And it's just like this big black thing with these big black horns. Really nasty looking.

Yeah. That's what it looked like. And that's when you were young? Or were you older at this point? I want to say that remembrance when I came to was when I was in my teens. I was in my, I want to say like 15 or 16. This was ongoing and it even, there were other things that happened to me that I, that I do not, that I do not remember, but I've been shown the energetic structure of it. And they, my higher aspects tell me there, there's a reason that you are not remembering these things.

And then I guess too, like I was saying before, you know, obviously, generally speaking, there's good, there's evil. And I mean, obviously, I fully believe in demons and ghosts and bad spirits and all that stuff. What is, how do you decipher between like an evil spirit and a ghost per se versus like an entity that's from like a different realm? Or would that be kind of like? No, ghosts are. So our spirit is our light body. So ghosts are just dead light. Okay.

That need that, like, something that I do, one of the many things I do is I help those spirits pass through and merge with their higher soul. Okay. So like mediums, for example, they open certain energetic portals for these soul or these spirits to pass through so that that deadlight is alchemized into higher soul. light. And then they can merge with their soul. So that ghost, right, that spirit is just a dead light body that needs to be resurrected through a higher heart channel. Okay. So they don't technically hold as much power as like these other entities that you're talking about. Okay. Yeah. These other entities are are full-fledged beings. Okay. And when you encounter things like demons, a lot of the perceived demons

that aren't these, you know, other very aware of entities, like, for instance, there can be a trauma demon where it's created through, let's say, somebody was sexually assaulted through the channel of perversion and lust, right? That perverted aspect of sexual energy. The original energy is mutated. And so it is created. That demon is created through that experience.

It's not something that can, like it's created there. Okay. And then if we don't work through that, it can gain power and take, you know, but it really is just energy that needs to be transformed back to its original form. Okay. And then with your parents, do you have a relationship with them now? I do. Okay.

Did it take a little bit of time to kind of, like reform that like in its own way yes okay my dad is very very religious still still and he's i mean i i'm very thankful for the family that i have because they're amazing and um i remember one time he said to me i'm way too far into my relationship with god to change now but i see what you're doing and i respect you and that was big for me. Yeah. He's all he was always you be you, you know. My mom struggled and still does because she has these, you know, she looks through the lens of fear. Right. I don't do that ever. So, but she, you know, she struggled with what I was doing. She, I remember one time, like,

came at me and she was angry and she was like, you're dark, you're dark, you're lost. I don't like who you've become. And life is all how we choose to see it and react. And so I said, that doesn't hurt me, but I love you. This is you, your issues that you're experiencing online, right? The programming. Right. So I do have a relationship with them now, though.

Okay, good. So you were saying to how when you let go of everything, like music and things like that, so what do you do now? Like, what is your main, is your main goal to, like, educate on all of this stuff? Or, like, what is it that you do for the most part? Or what, I'm, like, curious, like, what can you do? There are so many things. I, in this world, the best way to describe it is grid work.

I work within the energetic and magnetic and electrical grids within the planet on a planetary level. because I've integrated my full oversaw. So that's all the aspects of self. So that gives me cosmic sovereignty in terms of where my consciousness can travel to. I travel to the ends of the cosmos and back with different energy forms. So like going to different planets and bringing back that energy here. And I use them in the grids to repair the grids. because the grids of this planet have been manipulated and destroyed the same way that people have.

And so there are different stargates around the planets. One of them is actually in Maryland. Really? Uh-huh. Stargate one. And what is a star gate? It's just like one of the grids? It's like a portal, basically.

Okay. It's a gateway to the cosmos. and there are many across the planet and they have access to these other to these other planetary systems and to the cosmic stargates they connect. So that's where this higher light comes through. And so a lot of them have been blocked,

a lot of them have been destroyed. So I work with other grid workers as well to repair, repair the grids and create new ones to make it what I've achieved here possible for everybody. Okay. And then are you, when you're doing this, are you doing it through meditation or you can just do it? It used to be.

Okay. And it evolved to the point where I don't have to be in consciously chosen meditation, like laying down. It's like I've turned into the meditation. It's like everything I do. And then as you've kind of been exploring all of this and doing it, have you found other people that you can connect with that kind of have similar? Yeah. Yeah.

And we do it together? And do these people discover you like on TikTok or just in like, okay? Wow. The great one for TikTok. I was going to say though, like, because I think that, and I always say this with social media in general, it can be so terrible, you know, but at the same time I feel like it does have a way of. educating and connecting people, even if it's just like one person that you find and you're like, you know. Yes. When I first started on there, I didn't know anything.

I knew something. But like I was so confused about like, what am I doing here? Right. Yeah. And so through the experience of being on there, right, like the NPCs, the haters, the bots. But then it's like the family and the connection. and it's just been a huge tool. It's been a huge tool for ascension.

That's what it's been. It was awful in some aspects, but I'm so so thankful for it because I wouldn't have been able to do any of this if it wasn't for that app. Yeah. And it's kind of funny, like in this modern world or like ascending through an app. Yeah, but it's almost like you have to like adjust and, you know, reform into what this world is doing in order to kind of connect and get through. Yeah.

because if not, like, how else do you do it? You know, like you need to kind of get through in some way. And right now, the biggest way is social media. That's what everybody's scrolling and listening to and absorbing. Right. It's their food that they're consuming in so many ways, which is another thing that, like, kept me on there. I know where I come from and that my intentions are so true.

And so if I can impact even just one person to know that, themselves on a deeper level. Great. That's why I'm on there. Right. So when you make all your different TikToks, I know you have so many I was scrolling through. When what kind of like what comes to you like when you decide like,

I'm going to sit down and like make, because I know each one kind of like you hit many different things. So when you're, what is your goal like for, and I know that we kind of talked about that obviously to get everybody to this, you know, different level of understanding with them themselves. But I guess like sitting here with me today, like, because I'm all open to learning and I want to learn. Like I kind of want to know like what you would want me to know, like, what you would want to teach me as like someone that doesn't know much and it's just like a viewer to you, you know? That's a good question. What would I want you to know? That you're the

main character and everything that has ever happened to you. anything that's ever hurt you or made you dim or made you feel less than what you are is actually just there to show you what a gem you are and if we could let go and accept understanding that we really are cosmic royalty here we are because we're rare here if we can erase it and transmute it to the point where it never existed, it would open up all these doors to like an overflow of all the things that we want. That's what I would tell people is because people get, because of what they've been through, they guard and they shut down and they close down to life.

but if we could go into those things that we're afraid of, it's like, it's magic. Yeah. And would you say that like the way that people could do that is through meditation for the most part? Like, is that what you would kind of recommend for a beginner and just like see what comes to them or is like, like, how do you really, you know what I mean? Like other than watching someone like you, like if they're not there yet to understand like

what's like a good way, how do you like kind of start your journey? journey on that. I would say it would start with first is a conversation, like an out loud verbal conversation with the mother father, with the great one and with you, because it's really just us in our highest form. This is all just a big show. It's just a big game. And it has to have the really shitty shit to have the really amazing heights. So I always tell people, have a conversation out loud, hey, I'm here. I see you, I feel you, I know I am you. I'm ready to see my life in its fullest form. I'm ready to experience that. And I'm ready to let go of the things, mind, body, and soul that need to be let go of in order to open those channels for those other things to come in.

Like, I was super balzy with mine. I just left everything. Right. So I always tell people, well, what can you let go of? Well, who can you forgive? What can you accept? What versions of yourself can you stop holding on to? What stories can you let go of? Yeah. Everything is a story.

It's an archetype. So we create meaning. That's what I would say. Yeah. Like, you don't like your job? Leave it. Quit your job. Speak up to your family.

Let go with that friend. And stop giving all yourself to this. I think the hard thing is for people, people, at least for me to something that I've realized is like this battle of what's within and then what's here when we open our eyes. Yeah, because nothing is as it seems. No. And then like I said, when I get into meditation, that's like I feel like that's one

version of me and it's so peaceful and it's so like singular. Like you're just you there and it's great. And you can kind of in that 20, 30 minutes, let go of everything else. and just ground yourself. But then when you're back, it's not that you necessarily forget it, but then you're back in the chaos of like the world. So it's like how do you balance both?

And like are you allowed to balance both? Absolutely. Like are you allowed to have, for example, if you're somebody that, see like that's the confusing thing to me too is like, and this is kind of I guess speaking for myself. Like I, of course like as a human, you know, here on this earth, it's like you want the nice things, you want to live a good life.

You know, you don't want, nobody wants to struggle here. But then at the same time, I feel like if you're actually found in that deep, deep spiritual sense, would you care about those things? Because at the end of the day, they really are just like materialistic or like you, you know, based on books I've read too, you're not supposed to claim anything. thing is yours. Like, this house is not mine. These animals, even though I love them to death, like they're not mine. Absolutely. So it's like that constant, and I feel that all the time, of that battle of this reality. I love what you're saying. Yeah, but I feel like that's kind of

a big, a huge battle for me. It's very, like, I feel like, I feel like, from what I, from only what I know, it's like, okay, like I'm getting closer to like reaching my higher self, but it's probably still not in this lifetime since I still do care about like the superficial and like having like that life here. Okay. First thing. It's so much more actually because for us to even be connecting. You say that I'm advanced that, you know, you and I are in the same room together. That must mean you're. pretty advanced, more looking at each other, we're mirrors of one another. Look at this is a beautiful place that you've created for yourself. When the undertone, the intention behind the nice things and the luxury is greed, that's different.

But when you are lavish, like in your spirit and your soul, and you are royal, you are opulent, you are radiant. Because we come from the highest Christic light. that's true royalty. So that will reflect. When I was, you know, I didn't grow up wanting nice things. Now nice things find me. Right.

Because I am lavish in my spirit and my soul. You are lavish in your spirit and your soul. And that's why these things find you. Look at what you're doing. This is great. This is amazing. You should be very proud. and there should be no guilt or shame associated with living like this because everyone should live like this.

Yeah. You know what I mean? And I think that's kind of what makes it difficult for me is I feel like, and I'm so grateful. You know, and I feel like more times than not I find myself confused. And most of like how can it be that people, and obviously times are very different, but how can it be that people, but how can it be that people have to work their asses off and make like, I mean, people don't get paid well. Even if they are working their asses off, they can't survive on what, you know, these jobs are paying. The world has been structured in a way that is, and it's, it was very thought out.

It was very thought out. It's the way this world has been structured is so backwards. and the people have been taken advantage of and they've been manipulated and they've been turned into slaves. Yeah. And one of the things, one of my main intentions behind what I, what I've been doing is the quantum financial system. I've been investing into the quantum financial system for years, which is me investing

into myself because it's the understanding that your energy is your currency. So part of what I did was I didn't have an income and I gave up everything I had to attain the feeling and the embodiment of my wildest lavish dreams without actually. actually achieving it yet. I achieved it through feeling and embodiment first. Which technically would be like the manifestation term, right? Yes. Okay.

And like tasting it, smelling it, being it before it's actually happening here. And that's not something that happens overnight. That's not something where you sit in your bed before bed and you're like, And it happens tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's through great initiation and great sacrifice. And with the understanding that the word sacrifice in etymology actually means to become whole. So it's letting go of all things.

And obviously not everyone is going to do it as radically as I chose to. But I set my life up so that I could because again, one person who does it to an extreme place does it for everyone. And what I was creating, manifestation if you will, but what I was creating manifestation, if you will, but what I was creating within myself was a manifestation so big that it would take years to embody that frequency. But it was the idea that

there will be this amazing quantum inheritance, a divine inheritance that all beings will receive that makes everything disappear. Their struggle, their suffering. their poverty, their lack, that I would be with a partner that we could call so much in. And this is just in my world and give. Yeah.

Give, give, give, give. Give, give, give, give, like Mr. and Mrs. Claus. Yeah. And that's the thing, too, like that I have found with myself. It's like I feel like I am such a, or I try to be such a giving person, like where I can be, obviously within my means. but like I it just it's like I said it's kind of hard I think when you don't have that much knowledge and it's kind of like what you said you kind of how you started out you didn't it's almost like if

you don't have a teacher you're kind of like learning on your own and it's like everybody's going to translate things differently like I think for me the first I would say the first understanding or beginning of understanding is when I read the Jodas Bens a book that like like really opened up a door for me with that was honestly the first time I felt meditation like truly like learn to feel it and could feel the energy and now it's like I can feel it every time like way easier um and then it was funny like then I found my therapist too's like way more like very spiritual therapist love her like and obviously it's like and it's interesting because I mean you make everything work but like it's not and it's not a normal therapist so it's not

covered by insurance. It's not something where it's like, and I've done therapists like that, you know, and they're very transactional and not, it's just not there. And with her, it's like she's, it's so aligned, you know, so it's like I had that. And then I've read these books that have like kind of given me more clarity. And I, I just feel like, and it all has happened so recently, you know, and it's just so interesting, like the things that come up in life and how how much you change and evolve. But even now, it's like I was just talking to her the other day. This is a funny, like, side note. But we were just talking about some of the things that just keep bothering me and re-bothering me and I can't shake them. And she somehow got brought up of, like, my old self,

like me and high school old self. She was like, if she was standing here, what would you say to her? And I, like, literally couldn't get words out. Like, it was just like, I don't want to talk to her. Like, ew, it's gross to me, you know? And I didn't even know that. And she was like, She was like, I feel uncomfortable. She was like, I feel like you guys are on the school yard about to, like, you're about to rip her hair out. And I was like, it's so weird. Like, I didn't even know I had that much anger and feeling, but it's like we, we evolve

so much and it can happen so quickly. Yeah. And it's like, and I know even from the person I am sitting here today, how I'm going to evolve even from this person. You know, it's like, it's a never ending thing. But, you know, all of this has happened so fast. And I just, there's not many people that I feel like. I can talk. It all feels like it's within myself.

You know, it's like this, this game, as you would say, or this thing within that I'm kind of discovering and evolving within myself. But I mean, I have a couple of close friends I can talk to about it, but do they really get it? Are they on the same path or journey? Not really. So it's like, it's kind of interesting. Like other than my therapist and like maybe one other friend of mine, it's kind of like when I do my meditations and things like that, it's kind of like my own world. And I think that is why recently I've been wanting to stick to myself more because it's like people don't really get it, you know?

And that's why too, it's like, it's interesting when I, this morning when I was going back through your TikToks again, which honestly, swear to you, I don't do. Like I don't really have that calling to be like, oh, let me understand what this is going to be. You know, like, because I always have like a quick title. of like what or a, you know, a sentence of what each episode is. And I go into it blindly so that I can kind of take it all in in that moment. And I was looking at your TikTok stay and I'm like scrolling through and like there was only like one that I was like, okay, I kind of know what she means by that. And the rest I was like, I'm so unfamiliar.

And I was like as unfamiliar as it was. I was so like, like that's what is pulling me in. It's like I just, you know what I mean? It's a most that. And it's weird because. part of me was like, typically this isn't something that I'd like see and be like, I have to reach out. And like, because it's something like I just said that only I have really done that work

within myself. It doesn't always reflect in my show. But I thought it was interesting that I wanted to bring this type of conversation on the show. I thought the same thing. You know, it's just so, because there really isn't many people that will understand or even have an interest, which is fine. But I think it's something that people don't realize, even if you just take, and this goes, this is like, I feel like the most simple thing you can do for yourself.

Like if you, if people can just sit with themselves in solitude, like genuinely by themselves. And like, I say meditate, but like just be with themselves and like breathe and ground themselves and let go of everything. Yes. Yeah. I mean, and like I said, I love my animals. I lock myself in my closet because they're really, I don't want any distraction. I don't want any sound.

I feel like if people could do that, they discover so much more about themselves, about their lives, but nobody can, nobody wants to. Everybody, it's most like they like the chaos. They like the,

I don't know. Do you see how wise you are? I don't know, no. I'm like very, I don't really give myself a lot of credit for some reason about, I don't know. Please do, because you're amazing. Thank you.

That right there. Let's go back to that question. What would I be alone with yourself? Do nothing. Sit in silence. Sit in silence for a couple of weeks. You learned so much. Six weeks.

Six weeks is all it'll take. Like nothing, like you just said. It will just revolutionary. Because then your entire being reprograms itself in complete stillness, so it doesn't have the information of anything else but itself. It filters. It filters. It filters. And then it resets. It resets to its like original settings. And then when you go back out into the world, you're perceiving everything differently. Everything. Yeah.

You reprogram yourself completely. And that's the thing too is like I think we're shown so many things constantly, especially when we're scrolling, that I think it's almost, you know, this reality. way of convincing you of what you like or what you should be doing or anything else. And it's interesting. I've had a couple times and it's not every time. You know, I think that's important for people to know too. You're not always going to have a good meditation or a good alone time.

And I've had some where I don't feel anything and I don't, you know, but there's been these other times that I'll get these weird, I don't even know if you could consider the messages where I'll randomly just see a date or like hear a date or like I'll randomly see something. And I'm like, I don't care what anybody says. like my mind didn't just pull that out of nowhere, you know? And it's like, it doesn't make sense to me. And maybe one day it will, maybe it won't. I don't know if it's like a past vision what it is. Even this is so random and so unimportant in my opinion, but I thought it was so intriguing to me in the sense of what I was just saying of like we're, we see all these things and we think we like certain things. We don't like I, I'm a single girl. I don't know if I'll ever get married or do anything of the sort. But, you know,

I remember I was in meditation one time and I was sitting there and I got this vision of just like this huge grand like and I've never even traveled anywhere like this but just like this huge building and all this architecture and this like this these stairs and all this stuff and I remember when I came out of meditation I would thought to myself like if I ever do get married you know and it was just like a random thought like this is you were seeing a cathedral yeah like but it was like it was but it was I don't know if it was a cathedral. It was just this, it was a huge build, like, almost like something you'd see in, like, Rome. Okay.

Or, like, Italy. And, like, with huge staircase. I mean, grand, like, beautiful, you know. But it was interesting because in this world, I've always thought when I get married, I, like, you know, I love farmland and grass. And I'd want to get married with or, like, be around, like, nature, right? And I do love nature. But this was just, like, it was something.

that I didn't know I saw Beauty in. And after I came out of it, it was so interesting. And then I was doing research, you know, on my phone of like on Pinterest and looking things up to kind of try to find what I saw. And I found a couple pictures. And I was like, and not even that it really would have to do

necessarily with a wedding or a man or anything like that. It just was like, that's just where my head went with it. And it was so random. And once again, I don't know the meaning. Okay. It's amazing because in quantum, architecture and crystal architecture, which is the higher light, they're cathedrals. Okay.

And they're built within the heart space, within the soul. Okay. And that's what the light body is built of. And you can even see it in other like sacred texts. They talk about the many mansions, the cathedrals. That's what they look like. Yeah. And it's interesting.

I almost feel like because I'm still on this like, this like back and forth, I feel like the way that it gets through to my mind is like the only way that maybe I'd understand it with like through like a marriage or love per se because that's like the easiest way to see it. Right. Right. Yeah. And I think, but it's weird because when I came out of it, it wasn't like, I need to get married here.

You know what I mean with that. Just kind of how it was shown to me. But I know that it didn't necessarily mean it wasn't a, I knew. it didn't have to do with intermarriage yeah like i most feel like it was more like that the union of self yes yes rather than like a man figure yeah i didn't it didn't it was just it was just crazy to me that i found i never would have like you know because like like i said why would in meditation why would you randomly think of of that it's just so random and just like the dates i've it's just weird wow yeah but i've had things like and it's like i said it's not every time

but I've had things like that happen. And I've had moments where I've doubted myself or questioned things. And then within these meditations, it's like I, it's in those moments that I feel the most strong and confident. You know, because I'm like sitting there and I'm like, I don't need to be worried about this, this and this. I don't need to worry about missing out on this. Like I am whole and I have enough with myself. But it's hard, very hard in this realm to just. genuinely discover and believe that.

I think it's way easier to believe that and feel that and become that when you're actually just within yourself and in that meditation. I honestly am so stoked that you just said that about the, and they are called cathedrals. I have to show you what I, like something that I bookmarked on Pinterest that like was the closest thing to what I saw.

So I spend. a lot of my time there in these cathedrals. That's where I spend most of my time when I... They're gorgeous. But it's just so weird. Like, I never would have... You're with your higher aspects when you're there, which is why you feel that way. Yeah.

Like that, which, like this? Yes. That's what I saw. And it was just so weird because in my head, I'm like, I would have never in this realm. That's never been something that's like I felt called me or I thought, you know, but it's Another thing is like the one place I really have always wanted to go and I've never traveled like anywhere like this. It's like Italy. And, you know, and it's not, I don't know, it's just so interesting.

Isn't that so interesting? It is. It is because I know what that means. I know what that is. Like it's the home of the soul. So you were experiencing your higher aspects and where they are and what they're doing. Okay. So that's a good sign.

In your soul. Yeah. Okay. good. And the more time that you spend there, I'll, like, again, when it comes to people developing a structure to meditation and like spending time in solitude, using visualization is so important because. Visualizing and allowing your imagination to show you and create with you and trusting it and not judging what it looks like and what it creates, right? Like you were with your higher aspects when you were there. The more time that you can spend there, the more your light body will open up. And I need, that's like, that kind of goes back to what I was saying about that battle of here and there.

Because it's so easy to not show up for yourself. And I mean, that's what you're, like when I'm in meditation, I know that's the best thing I can do for myself that day. In every way, shape, and form. Like, if I start my day that way, I know it's going to be better. If I end my day that way, I know it's going to be better. If I do it midday, you know, that's like when I can feel the most. I mean, there's been times I wear my aura ring. There's been times that, like, I was fully awake, but my ring, it came up that I was

napping because I was able to get that. And I thought that was, I was so proud of myself. I was like, that means I slowed down that much. Zero point state. Yeah, that my ring thought I was nap. I was like stunned. That's amazing. Stunned.

That was it literally has happened once. I keep seeing like. What? Light or like little like orbs. There's been like a blue one like a like rainbow one. Really? Yeah. There's just so much.

Is that good? Yeah. I feel like there's so much opening up right now. Okay. Good. It's I don't usually see this many. Really? Yeah.

Yeah. Wow. Yeah. You're so beautiful. Thank you. Thank you. I love it. No, it's interesting too because even like when you say things like even when you're like, oh, you should be

proud of what you're. you're doing. Like, I know what, like, it means something coming from you because I know, like, I feel it. Like, I believe it. But, you know, and so other people are like, oh, like, what you do is amazing. It's, like, hard to, I don't always, I kind of don't like, I don't like, I don't love to. Like, is that transactional? Is it? I just don't love to take it in because I don't, I'm, I'm, I'm, I am in the sense of, like, oh, thank you. I know. You know what I mean? Like, so I just, I'm like, oh, like, I do it for you guys, you know, like, it's just, but I don't always, and I know that's every now and then I should be proud of it.

And, you know, but I don't always like to take it in. But when you said it, I, like, I knew that you meant it. Good. But yeah, I don't know. It's just, I think when it comes to spending that time alone, it's like, it's so easy to just push it to the side of it. I'll do it tomorrow. But I know I need to get better at, like, at least doing it daily. Yeah.

Because I know that so much, so many good things would come. It's so true. When I first started, you know, meditating, I would do it for five, five. minutes and then it progressed to 30 and then an hour and then three hours it's like and then eventually just you become the meditation you become the dance and it again

you're right if more people would just take time to flow and then cultivate peace amongst like most people don't want to spend time alone with themselves. No they can't. It's too chaotic there's too many things that come up but they're supposed to to be felt and observed.

Well, what's crazy is when I first started, in that time of solitude, chaos would come up. Or I have all these thoughts about I have to do this, this, and this. And now it's like my escape. Like, that stuff doesn't really come up. Now it's almost like, I let whatever come in. You're flowing. Yeah.

But like there was a point when I started that it's almost like we're so used to our brain going and going that it's like, oh, well, I have to do this. But now it's like maybe that'll happen for the first few. minutes, but that's very, I feel like I've gotten a lot better, just like, now it's not the time. You don't have to worry about that. You don't have to think about that. And all of those thought forms and those emotions are just deadlight. There's layers of deadlight that come up and the fact that you've gotten to the point where it's, I'm telling you, you're- I can't believe I'm in the cathedral thing. That's crazy.

I know. It's even crazier that I even like brought that up because I think, you know. Okay. So my two questions. One, you were saying how you were saying how you met with a medium. Yes. So my question is, do you think that you could tap into that stuff as well? Or is that like a different level of, like medium work and things like that? You mean tapping into stuff as in? Like how you got like how she was able to like have that sense of knowing and like give you that confirmation? I think I have a different. placeholder. Okay.

You know, I do have some mediumship abilities, but my, my, I have a different role, if that makes sense. Like that's not. Okay. That's her radical gift. Okay. We all have our own templates and blueprints that we exist on. And so like her beautiful intensity and knowing in that really helped me.

Okay. She helped me so greatly in terms of bringing. my full power to the surface, having that wisdom and that love and that power of my highest aspects really come to, because I was struggling with some things. Okay. That makes sense. Because I had worked in a group of women and it just was bizarre. And she was able to see that they were kind of feeding on my energy.

Yeah. So she was like, but there's no blame game here. If you're not going to use it, you're leaving it open for other people. people to feed on. I'm like, okay, because I don't do the whole blame thing. Okay. You know, that's victim mentality. Take responsibility for yourself. Stop blaming things outside of yourself. I'm big on that because, again, we chose this and it's how radically awesome can you be? Like, how abundant in terms of perspective can you be? But to answer your question, I think I answered it. Like that, you know. Different roles. That makes sense. That makes sense.

a lot of sense. Yeah. And then my other question is, so I'm somebody that I'm big on love, okay? Love, love, love. But I also think that it's very, very rare and difficult to actually find true deep love and connection within a person, partner. Oh, man. This is a whole thing.

I hate it. So I wanted to know your opinion and perspective on. on it because and this kind of honestly ties into the little things I was telling you, whether I was like saying, I don't know if I want to have kids or even like the marriage thing, that's how it came through to me in meditation. And it's not that I have negativity towards it because I love love. I think love can be amazing if it's a real deep connection. I just think some people don't even find that once in a lifetime.

But sometimes more so recently it seems like, like, life let me think out of word this not life would be easier but life makes more sense to me mentally alone

like I don't foresee I don't know I found it like I've had that feeling and I and I don't know I'm not going to sit here and say I wouldn't find it again

but it's just I don't where I am right now and the understanding I have right now I don't there's a lot of people and I even was guilty of this for a long time searching, searching, search.

I just want a person. I want a person. I want, yeah, I get it. Yeah, like you want that security. You want that feeling. But like, if once you've felt a deep connection with another human being or another soul, you can't, that's not replaceable. Like, and all of the, like, they just become like a placeholder. And if there's no deep connection, why are they even there?

You know, just get out of my space. So I guess now, like I said, right now, it kind of feels like realistically, It just makes more sense for me to be by myself. And maybe that's just like my time right now. Exactly. You know? But I wanted your perspective on love and that stuff. And like I said, then I read the book, Only Love is Real.

And that really answered and confirmed some things for me. Okay. I've always known. I've always known since 2016, I had a massive awakening. That was also the year that my implants flared up. because it was like a pivotal time for me. So I've always known that a sacred partnership was in the books for me, not just any ordinary partnership,

but a very sacred partnership, one of divine counterparts. There's a lot of different names that go around about it. A lot of people love to talk about twin flames, all of this stuff. I've never, I've always been on the journey. I've never talked about it because, I'm not going to talk about things that I don't know about. And I, that one has stumped me.

It's always stumped me. I see myself and I know my value and I know what I deserve in a partner. You know, the kind of partner I deserve. But like you said, you feel like it's best for you to be alone. That was something I had to throw myself into was being. alone because I really didn't want to be. And I got into a really messy situation with my former partner and decided to leave it and spend time becoming sovereign in my own being.

When it comes to love, I don't want someone that completes me. I don't want, I don't need anybody. I want that. Yes. There's a reason I feel it so strongly. It's not because I'm needing anything outside of myself. It's because when we feel things strongly, like, oh, I feel that. It's because it's already, it's already written. That's why we're feeling it so strongly, because it already is. If it wasn't, we wouldn't feel it. So when people are like, they desire something so strongly, it's because that's in the books for you. Maybe not now, but eventually. And I knew. in my soul that it was imperative for me to become a full, sovereign, whole being first before I came into any sort of union. Again, I don't want anyone that you don't complete me. I don't need you.

I choose you. And we accentuate one another and we complement one another. we are two whole sovereign beings that choose to create something together. That is true. To me, that's true love. And I remember being in the place where I thought it was never going to happen. And I thought it would be better to just be alone because I don't meet many people who I resonate with and who are going to meet me at my level.

And I don't say that in any way that's anything besides what it is, and you know it and you feel it. And I just recently came into a really beautiful union with someone. And he is completely sovereign. And he allows me to be, he supports me in my fullness. He doesn't want me to be anything other than what. what I am. He doesn't get, there's a difference between attachment and connection.

And it's beautiful because I had no idea it was going to be him. And he has supported me in many ways for the last year. Like when I had nowhere to live, when I had nobody. He just gave, gave, gave, gave, gave. And I was so apprehensive. I was like, nope, we're never going to be together. You and me are never going to be. He was so, I could feel his love for me.

And he was like, I have no expectations. I have unconditional love for you. That means no condition. Whether I'm your friend, whatever, I'm here. I see you. I support you. Like, whatever you need. Like, literally has taken care of me in ways.

I'm like, how did you know that? You show up with exactly what I needed. Always. Like I had an instance recently where I was bit by a tick. I had an implant in my right hip. And I got bit by a tick on my right hip. And it turned into Lyme's disease and encephalitis. And it was really bad.

And I was able to heal it myself without any medical attention. He was always showing up on my doorstep because I lived in his guest house. It's like exactly what I needed. And it was so beautiful the way that it came in because we had our union. Like we came in together physically, mind, body and soul on my former wedding day with my, like, on the same day. And it was like all of this illusion disappeared and we saw each other. And I was like, so surprised. I was so surprised.

And it's new. and it's everything that I ever dreamt of. Yeah. And I remember I told my higher aspects many times, I'm going to be alone. I will not be with anyone unless this, this, this, this, this, this, this, I named it all off. Right.

And this man has done every single one. Wow. And I was so, it was such a surprise to me. And it keeps slowly unveiling to, to like the heart of all, the heart of all is shining through. Beyond human, like the heart of the great I am

keeps shining through it more and more every day. And I'm just so grateful because I started to get skewed. There were times that I would skew the idea of what love is on this planet. And then it just surprised me in the most beautiful way and I was humbled by it. Like, wow.

Yeah. And it's like, I belong to myself and I still can have this beautiful connection that is in it of itself a whole thing. Right. I feel I was involved in a lot of relationships and connections that were trying to mimic this great thing and kind of hold on to me. possessive you know and each one of those helped me burst through to a to a more beautiful aspect of myself another aspect another aspect another aspect and then I finally got to the

point where I was just so sovereign and so whole and so complete in myself that it was like huh showed up yeah so that's how I feel I feel we must choose ourselves and become whole first and it'll it'll surprise you right it'll really surprise you and so like I guess like how I was talking about feeling it like a really deep connection like I've been in a good amount of relationships you know too many and it's fine you know yes it is it's all part of it yeah and they you know I I'm the type of person when I you know when I allow you into my bubble in any way shape or form I always have like like a little more care for you than like just like a stranger on the street even if it didn't end well just because you you you spend time with that person but there's only one individual that

and i don't even want to describe it as like i'm not going to sit here and say oh like he's the love of my life you know but the connection that i have with this person it just won't diminish and not or break. Doesn't matter how long goes between not speaking. It will not. I talked to my therapist all the time. She's like, how are you doing this? I'm like, look, I'm fine. You know, like I haven't talked to this person over a year. My life goes on. I'm fine. But that feeling has not, it's like chipping away at a rock. Like, it's just not going away. It's not, I can't shake it. And it is the most confusing thing to me. And I can't. it's just something.

I feel like I feel like I've gained a pretty good understanding of things in my life and wise. And oh, I think this way because of that. And this is one I just can't figure out. And when I read the book Only Love is Real, you know, it confirmed for me of like, okay, maybe this person was somebody. And like in a different lifetime ago, maybe, and we could have been anything. We could have been mom and dad. We could have been brother and brother. You don't know.

And I believe, I think, The easiest thing for me to believe is that that is why I can't seem to like break that connection in this lifetime. But that being said, I think that has been something that has skewed love for me in a way because in my head it's made me feel like if I can't find that kind of drawn connection to a person's soul, like that's what it is. It's not it's not something where you're like this is the right kind of love this is healthy love it's not that kind of it's not like relationship it's not you know what I mean it's not like I'm not describing that it's more so I that connection and that that it literally feels like there's I mean and I've done so many

cord cutting meditations that bitch is not cutting through and if it's cutting in that meditation it grow right back like it just not and I can't that's like the one thing that's like the one that it's just and it's very frustrating, I think, because, you know, like, like I said, you can know that you're fine. Like, you, I don't need anyone. I say that all the time. And I don't. And I know I don't.

No, I understand. But it's so frustrating, you know, to like go, like to have those feelings and to not be able to do anything, I guess, about it or not to be able to have that connection in this lifetime. My therapist always says, just not, not in this lifetime or like not right now, you know? And it's like. Definitely in this lifetime. Okay. I was in the exact same position, the messy situation that I was in.

And I kept breaking away at it every day because it had this hold on me. That's what it is. It's like a hold. Yeah. And I realized that entire connection was a major, major attachment that was only a mirror of how I felt about myself. I realized that it was never about him. It was about me. And I didn't realize that until I fully got to the other.

And it, oh, man, that bitch had hold on me. I mean, that's what it, that's what it feels like. And like my last therapy session, we kind of got more of an understanding. And I, there are many times that I think to myself. It really isn't. If you really look at the grand scheme of things, it isn't that person. you know, it's more like I am attached to something there. Right.

And I think that's kind of why the old version of me got brought up because it's like I hold on to that. And I don't know why it's like, well, this person knew me at this time of my life. And that holds a special place or like, you know, they were the first person to really understand me. But it is like that reflection, I think more so of what I'm holding on to so dearly versus this person is healthy in my life. because it's not, they're not. Like it's not, you know what I mean. No. And it's not something, it's more, it's not even like you're craving that person.

It's like you're craving that connection. And how they felt. Right. Exactly. And these things are, again, are contracts that we agree to. Yeah. It's like, okay. But like that hold, it's like, it doesn't matter.

Oh my God. It's like I, and it's crazy. It's just like it doesn't. And I'll have days where I'm like, all right, I'm not thinking about it as much today. But it's like, then I'll have a day where it's, just right there again like you know and it's just but it's very frustrating because I do think that and it could be anything it could be a person a thing a place you know that has that kind of hold but it's like a very um depleting feeling like it because you don't have control over it or

the power over it yet yeah and to get to that feeling without anyone that feeling that right within and that's the thing I think for so long why I dated so much is because I I was trying to replace or to feel that. Get that feeling again. Right. And now I'm genuinely at a place where I enjoy my solitude in my alone time. And I was just saying, too, to my therapist, I can genuinely say this is the first time I've been alone and enjoyed it, genuinely enjoyed it.

And I know that this is the best place for me to be. But now it's like then I have that internal, not struggle, but like that thought of like, yeah, do I think I'm ever going to find that? No, but I've also, I'm accepting of it. Like, I don't really care. Because, like, I rather spend time by myself than spend time with an individual that just has absolutely nothing to offer.

And no one should ever. Yeah. And it's always going to be, you know, the, it's like the layers of it where you're wanting it, you're looking for it. Then you don't care. Then you've let go. then you don't, you know, you stop thinking about it less and less.

And it's because you're calling back so much of yourself every time you do that. Right. Because you're giving away energy when you do that. And it drives me nuts. I'm like, why am I putting so much energy? It was always you. Yeah. I'm putting so much energy into this thought and it's not worth it.

Exactly. But I feel like people do that all day long. And it doesn't even have to be like a connection. It could be stressed. It could be anything. Yes. They allow these thought forms that aren't even actually real. dictate what they believe.

It's all in your head. Yeah. And if you can zoom out and be the observer, like the awareness behind the thoughts, the consciousness behind all of it and be like, okay, I love you, goodbye, I love you goodbye, I love you goodbye, I love you, goodbye. I'm going to pick these ones. Like you can cultivate a wardrobe of like these lavish thoughts, right? That are like the highest for you.

Yeah. It takes work. A lot. And that's what these connections are. That's all they are. Yeah. And it's super comforting to understand that and have that perspective of these things instead of going down those like mutated thought forms of oneself. Right.

And zooming out. And choosing which ones you allow yourself to believe. Right. Choosing which ones go into your closet. And I think too, like you bringing up awareness and stuff, the more aware you, are, I think the easier it becomes to kind of snap yourself out of those moments. Because there's times where like if you allow yourself to sit in those thoughts, it's like a spiral. Yeah. But if you can like be aware and kind of, okay, it's the observer mentality. Yeah. I am not my thoughts. Right. I'm not

my emotions. I am the consciousness behind the consciousness behind the consciousness. I like, I am the creator. So to have that is that, that will change anyone's life. But I'm this. No, you're not. You're the conscience behind it. Right. You get to choose. Change it. Rewrite it in this moment. Visualize it and let it go before it.

It's like so much quicker. I know. And it can just like the whole ask, the understanding of like shifting timelines and quantum leaping and all of that has everything to do with thought and emotion. If you can master the emotional body and the mental body as the observer, you will jump, leap every day. it's all magnetism it's all electrical it's all thought it's all emotion amazing like it's crazy it's crazy because and I only have a little bit of understanding of it I think you have more than you think I don't I need to I need to have more like I need to I need more this is right now it's very beautiful like you know it's like I want like I want more

but I really do believe that it's like you can only read and listen to so much Like I do think a lot of it comes when you're within yourself. Yep. Like it will just come. Yep. In those times. And it'll come right when it's supposed to. Yeah.

Whether you're aware of it or not. And then I think like everything we see around it, like for example, like someone might be sitting in meditation and thought and solitude. And these things might come to them. And then they might see one of your TikToks. And it's more like a confirmation. And like, okay, this person gets it. You are so wise. Like, hello, you're there.

I don't know. It's amazing. Yes. Okay. I'm glad you, as long as you think so you're the professional. Yes. So are you. No.

I don't think my, I don't think something's not caught. My brain's not caught up to like. It will. Okay. It will. It needs to. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, like I said, like I love to have these types of conversations with someone like you because I just, I do believe it's such a different angle and understanding and perspective. And it's interesting because I feel like. we have these professionals in the world. You know, your therapist, your doctors is that in the other? You're superficial professionals. Right. And, you know, it's like half the world likes to get those opinions.

And then, like, I've always just been more drawn to like, but where's the deeper meaning? Like, I've always been some, and that's like kind of, I just had, like, this is just something I thought of as well. Like, I've always been somebody that's so drawn to, like, I've always said, I love love. Like, love is what makes the world go around. think it's deeper than that. It's more so I think when I say that I mean like the deeper connections of things like deeper meanings like life is so would be so sad if it was all just surface level. Like I everything is so much more special if it has a a reason and a deeper meaning and an

understanding. Yeah. You know? Like and I just feel like that's why I think it's like for me, it's so much more intriguing to hear your reasonings and your mindsets of things because I just think that it comes from a way more in-tuned place than just by the book. Right. It comes from the all. Yes. The great all. Within all of us is the same, well, not the same, because we're not all the same,

but this beautiful essence of the eternal I am, the great one, right, where the flame we all come from, the light emanations that we're all made of, we're all made of light. And so you see so much about gurus, therapists, psychologists, ascended masters, whatever. And this is the era of everyone, everyone is the guru. people are so often looking at things outside of themselves that, you know, they, they, that are uplifting to them and encouraging. But I just want people to understand that the reason you are drawn to that is because that's you, too.

Everybody is the guru. So many of the ancient texts that have been written. I've never read some of them, and I've channeled them myself in my own book. We are conduits of information that is constantly being recycled. It doesn't belong to us, but anyone can access it. If they believe it, if they understand that they're worthy, anyone and everyone is that guru, is that Christed being, which just means anointed, which means enlighten, which means, you know, it's holding all that light.

That's what I want to say is anyone and everyone is capable and worthy of that. We're not just on a floating rock by instance, you know. There's so many different races of life forms, and we have all of them here. And this is like a big show. I can see the cosmic beings just watching because this is the greatest time that this planet has ever seen. This has never been done, the ascension of a planet into higher dimension with everybody watching. And it's if everybody could understand that they are worthy, they are that greatness that they're seeing outside of themselves. And that's the reason they're seeing it.

We all play our own role. everybody holds a different blueprint a different codex that's unique to them and no one can be you the way you can that's what's so special is that this is a tapestry a unique tapestry of love and wisdom and truth and power and the greatest weapon against anything that would suppress any being is their knowing of themselves and their love of themselves and them seeing themselves the way that the great one does. That's what I would say. I love that.

So my last question for you, for me or anyone, for anyone listening, that wants to have a better understanding of themselves of, you know, their more, just more wisdom within all of this,

would your suggestion be meditation and solitude to kind of gain that understanding? My suggestion would be do what you love. Chase your highest passion every single day, even if it doesn't make sense. The littlest things. Let go of other people's perceptions of you. Let go of the people who are dedicated to misunderstanding you.

Let them go. Just do what you love every single day. Like that saying, chase your highest passion with zero expectation of what you. it's going to look like. Yeah. Zero expected outcome. Just do what you love, what lights you up. Even if you're broke for a while, you're not really.

Yeah. I'm wealthy. I have a wealthy spirit and a wealthy soul. And that is that love, that ever-expanding love. That's what I would say. Whatever taking care of you looks like. Whatever choosing you looks like. every day.

Self care and in the boldest sense, be bold with loving yourself. Because how can we help anyone if we're not overflowing? I'm going to be overflowing. I am not going to help anyone if I am not overflowing. Because I'm, we save ourselves. Yeah. And really it's just remembering what we really are. And I feel like that's any time that you do something for yourself,

You're showing up for yourself. And therefore you're showing up for everyone. Yeah. I don't think a lot of people realize that. It's kind of a very broad thing to say. But then when you really have those higher aspects integrated into your being, you understand it on such a deep level. Like that used to mean nothing to me.

I'm like, what does that mean? And now I'm like, aw, the food. Yeah. No, it makes sense. Yeah. But it was honestly, it was such an honor having you here. Thank you. Thank you.

for sharing, you know, just, I feel like it was just like a tidbit of your wisdom and understanding. But, no, I think it was great and I loved having this conversation with you, honestly. And it answered some things for me. Yes. Which was so amazing. And I'm so glad that some of these things got brought up because like you said in the beginning, it's great. I think when you don't plan. And then it just kind of naturally flows and whatever happens.

But I love this every second of it. So thank you. And thank you for traveling out here. Thank you. It means a lot to me. Giving me the opportunity. This has been awesome. Of course.

And then obviously, I would, like, if you want me to, I'll link all of your stuff. Please. So that people can, you know, get more information, listen, follow, whatever.