We're Out of Time - Alexis Haines EXPOSES The Surprising Truth About Her Life

Episode Date: December 3, 2024

Join  @RichardTaiteOfficial for an eye-opening conversation with Alexis Haines. Alexis Haines was a member of the Bling Ring and a former television personality. At the age of 18, she was arrested for her involvement in a string of burglaries that targeted the homes of multiple celebrities. Haines served one month of a six-month sentence after her conviction for one count of first-degree residential burglary. Haines starred in the reality television show Pretty Wild, but her struggles with addiction and the aftermath of being a part of the "Bling Ring" ended her Hollywood career goals. She got sober when she was 19 and started utilizing her platform to help others with drug problems, including becoming a columnist for Vice. Haines began hosting the podcast Recovering From Reality in 2019. For all things Richard Taite, the We're Out Of Time podcast, and Carrara Treatment Wellness & Spa: https://linktr.ee/richardtaite For more on Alexis Haines: https://www.instagram.com/itsalexishaines/ Key moments from this conversation with Alexis Haines & Richard Taite. Intro 00:00 What was Alexis' involvement with the 'Bling Ring' and how did her upbringing play a role? 00:38 Has Alexis mended her broken relationship with her father? 02:35 How did the reality show Pretty Wild come about, when did substances enter Alexis' life and how did her mom play a role? 05:27 Why is Alexis grateful for the negatives of her past and why does she state it saved her life? 11:19 Locked up in jail, why did Alexis have her first thoughts of sobriety and what was her final rock bottom? 17:31 Does Alexis think that she has transcended addiction? 24:22 What benefits has Alexis gained from therapy? 29:33 What does Alexis want YOU to understand about the importance of community and connectivity? 32:44

Really, really dysfunctional family system. I preface all of this to give people context as to like the background behind people who commit crimes and use substances. I will also say that none of that made me an alcoholic. I'm an alcoholic because I'm an alcoholic addict. Your father punched you in the face at 14. Do you talk to him anymore? I do. So this is amazing.

And my mom was a model who was just a hippie who was checked out of reality, right? I'm the president of your fan club. Oh, thank you. Because you're smart. Thank you. I read years ago that these houses were being hit by this group of kids. And Paris Hilton's house got burglarized as well. You were part of that.

Yes. Tell me about it. Do you want the whole story or just that part? No, I want the whole story. What I would say is this. I grew up in a household, very dysfunctional family system. There was sexual abuse and incest that was happening. There was physical violence, lots of alcoholism and addiction.

My dad was a raging alcoholic, big hot shot director photography in the industry. And my mom was a model who was just a hippie who was checked out of reality, right? There was abuse at the hands of family members and babysitters and girlfriends of my fathers. And it was fucked up. started when I was four, right? So that's earliest I can remember. I'm so sorry. That is so horrific.

It's horrible. Right. And my parents divorced when I was three, and it was just chaos. Like, it's so- Did your parents find out about that? Yeah. Sexual abuse? Yeah.

When? When I was 19. That's when they found out about it? Yeah. Yeah. Did anything happen to this guy? Yeah. Yeah.

It's been taken care of. See and Joe? The police were involved. I don't want to talk about all. I just want to know if the guy went to jail or not. Yes. There was a big thing that happened, right? So I'm glad.

Police were called. He has children, CPS, the whole shebang, right? Good, good. And so what ended up happening was I just needed to escape my household. I went and lived with friends. I was like. How old were you when you left the house? I started leaving the house at 12.

Yeah. I stopped talking to my father when I was 14 after he punched me in the face and I just couldn't take it anymore. Your father punched you in the face at 14. Yeah. Do you talk to him anymore? I do. So this is amazing because we all got better when I got better, which was incredible. And I'm so grateful.

Our family is like thriving now. And it like my heart sings when I think about my family now, and just our personal transformation. But yeah, so really, really dysfunctional family system. And I preface all of this to give people context as to like the background behind people who commit crimes and use substances the way that I do. I will also say that none of that made me an alcoholic, right? I'm an alcoholic because I'm an alcoholic addict, right? They didn't help. Didn't help.

But it's not the reason why I was checking out. Checking out started really. How do you know? I think there's plenty of people who become addicts and alcohols with perfect households. How do you know? How do you know that that, that those traumas that you experienced in early childhood weren't so painful that you had to self-medicate over it? I did self-medicate over it.

But there's a distinction between, I think so. And I'm going to tell you why. Because all of my trauma has been healed, right, because of the work that I've done, like really truly healed. I can talk about all of this. None of it brings up feelings for me, whatever. And I still wouldn't pick up a drink or a drug because I believe, same thing with smoking, right? I, like, have tendencies that are super impulsive. The reason you don't pick up a drink or a drug is because you're a single mother.

You're not a dip. You're in love with your kid. There's plenty of single. I had a sponzie. No, no, no, no, not with a head. You can't unring a bell. You can't have the life that we've had and the education that we've had. And I'm not talking about the anecdotal.

You know, we don't do, you know, people would say, oh, there's no evidence that what you've got is anecdotal. No, we don't have anecdotal evidence in this business. We've got field research in this business. Okay. And that's what they use. But here's the thing. There's plenty of loving mothers and fathers who love their kids and would do anything in the world for them that can't stop. Despite going to treatment.

No, but that's, but now you're creating new facts. That wasn't your situation. No, it wasn't my situation. You got sober. Prior to having kids. You went ahead and dealt with that responsibly so that you could get to the other side of it. And then you have kids. And what you're saying is, well, I still don't drink because.

I'm an alcoholic and that's fine. But the reason you don't drink is a lot at stake. It's because you're a mother and you know what it's like to grow up in an alcoholic household. Yeah. And it's a nightmare. Yeah. So I started smoking pot with my mom when I was a preteen to teen. I was, you know, they put me on Adderall. It's so funny because I hear about all these parents putting their kids on Adderall now. And I was diagnosed with ADHD. But of course I'm checked out of school and can't focus. I don't know what the fuck I'm coming home to. I can't focus on school because my life at home was a f***ing show. And I was completely checked out. I was like barely, you know, I love the fact that you said that I'm so intelligent and smart and whatever else.

I flunked out of school. I barely graduated high school. Yeah, terrible. I went to three high schools in my senior year. Same. So I didn't even finish my, I went through eighth grade, ninth grade. I went to homeschool program that I completed in two years, but basically my mom paid them to give me a diploma, right? Like, just checked out. Like, started dating my drug dealer, started dealing drugs, started whatever. But throughout all of that, which is really interesting, I always had a fundamental root in spirituality because my mom was a Buddhist. And so I would go and try to escape at ashrams. I would go stay at ashrams and try to, like, meditate away my drug use and whatever.

whatever else. Like I was always a seeker and I always, I didn't want to do harm to people, right? I always had like what I thought was a good moral compass. I didn't realize the impact I was having on others, how I was treated. I didn't see any of that, but I thought I had a good moral compass. What ended up happening was I took the path that my mom did was drug sex and rock and roll. My sister, my older sister who I'm using drugs with is dating kid rock. We're in the industry. We're going out on these lavish dinners with Sean Penn and all of these big hot shots in L.A. And we end up getting asked to do our own reality show. And the reality show was on E.

It was called Pretty Wild. Were you on pretty well? Yes. It was me, my sisters, and my mom. And so we get asked to do this show because my sister and I... So it was like a train wreck, Kardashian. It was... Well, Kardashians are a train wreck, too.

That's a topic that we could... I mean, the dysfunction. I love. I can't. watch it. I love it because I've got a 15-year-old daughter and any time I can spend with her, I'm taking it. And that's the way we spend the time. But watching 40-year-old's fistfight in the house, I mean, it's just, it's like they all need help. Like I would love to get in there and case manage the whole family. But like, whatever. I digress. So we get this show and it's like the hippie,

crunchy, chaotic version of the Kardashians. And at that same time, I started hanging out with this kid, Nick Prugo. And Nick Prugo and Rachel Lee were the leaders of this group now known infamously as the blingring. And I didn't know like Rachel Lee or Courtney or any of the other players, but I started to develop a like a druggy relationship with Nick, right? He was this young gay male who was attractive to me. We were having fun. We were going out. we were drinking, he was really close with my older sister test. So we're out one night in Hollywood

and I'm low on drug money. I just signed up for this show and he had planned the robbery of Orlando Bloom's home. And I was out and about and again, take full responsibility for this. I didn't plan the burglary, but I participated in it. And that happened.

And what ended up happening in that summer was I started to realize what was going on with Nick. I heard the headlines of Paris Hilton, of Lindsay Lohan, of Adrenal Patrick. I saw the video of Rachel and Nick robbing Adrenal Patrick's house. And it spooked me, but I never thought, I was just so dumb and naive. And I never thought that we would get caught. But I ended up getting caught. How old were you? 18.

When you were and you got caught. Not at the scene. No. After the... What was the last house you guys robbed before you got caught? So I only was at Orlando Bloom's home. They were doing heists. I don't know their last house.

I couldn't tell you. So you were only physically in Orlando's home. You didn't go to any of the other homes. No. You had to pick my boy Orlando, huh? And it's, you know, we don't wish to shut the door on our past, all the things. the living amends that I have to make for that will never go away. I can't even imagine. Actually, you can make an amends to him personally. I don't think he wants me to make an amends to him.

I want I always, I've never tried to reach out. All I can say is that. I think that would be cool for the other, for the ending of this, of this podcast. I would go to any length to make that right. In fact, I sat down with Rachel Bilsen, who's one of the victims. And because my sister participated in, in that burglary. And I think it was a deeply therapeutic experience. Was she receptive? She was. She called the meeting.

She asked for us to come. Because she knew you guys were kids. Crime doesn't happen in a vacuum. Addiction doesn't happen in a vacuum. And I was a deeply disturbed individual. And I violated. Everybody who commits crime has got an issue like that. Everyone.

And so I've made, I've talked at length about what I believe my impact was. And it's interesting, right? Because it ended up being the thing that saved my life. So I, in a weird way, and I don't know if this is sick to say or not, I have so much gratitude for that experience. Sure. And because of it, I've been able to help people, which I think is important. I didn't just take it and go, I learned from this, Say la V. It's like this is an important part of my story, really sharing with people the process of, you know, again, I'm a Buddhist, of consciousness expansion and of being able to show people that we can show up authentically and own all of the messy bad parts of ourselves and do something beautiful with it.

but it was a complete obviously and terrible violation of his safety and his privacy and all of the things. But all of that to say, that was the only house that I participated in and what it ended up happening. It wasn't the one on Rising Glen, was it that beautiful white house? No. I was so intoxicated. I couldn't tell you what I remember it was a modern home, but I don't remember any of the specifics of it. I also know that they used to hit these houses on multiple nights. The whole thing was just so f***ed up. But anyway, I remember exactly what I took. And I remember I took a Louis Vuitton briefcase and a dress that was in the closet.

And everything else was already gone by the other people who were there. You took a dress? In a suitcase. Yeah. And I remember Nick had taken paintings. watches and and other things, but yes. And I ended up selling them for drug money the next day. Did Orlando ever get back at shit? I know that a lot of them got back the vast majority, but I don't know the specifics of any of that. And so what ended up happening and this was,

you know, I called my mom that night and I was like, I need to come home because she had actually kicked me out of the house, which is why I was staying. at Nick's house that night in why I was with him. And she kicked me out. I said, I need to come home. Something's happened. I can't be out here anymore. And so we move forward with the show. And she let you come right home. She let me come home as a good codependent mother.

Good. Good. But she let me come home. I didn't tell her what had happened. I just said this is way beyond, like, bad. Like, I was partying with rock stars and all of that. Terrible things have happened to me. I was this terrible person. And that was earth-shattering for me. A terrible person, you had bad behavior one night.

But that's what my belief was about myself, is that, oh, my God, I'm everything that I never, everything that I never wanted to be here I am. Like, I'm a drug addict. I'm getting held up at gunpoint. Like, there was things, like, it was, the degree, the disease was progressing so fast. I was losing control. And I couldn't, I couldn't keep up anymore. I was in that vicious cycle of, like, just.

just more and more, more, go, go. You can't put the brakes on. I didn't know how to put on the brakes. And jail ended up being the thing that put the brakes on for me. And so I'm filming this reality show on the second day of filming the first night I was out with this like L.A. rapper guy. I had done Xanax heroin drinking all night. And I woke up at 6 a.m. to the police reading my home. Your mother's home. My mom's home where I was residing and filming the show. And I ended up fighting that case on national television as an 18-year-old heroin addict. And I ended up getting sentenced initially to six months in Linwood Correctional Facility, where I served all of, like, less than 20% of that.

I kicked heroin cold turkey. I ended up getting a kidney infection. How was it in jail? Worse than what you can even imagine. Where do the girls like in jail when you walk in? Tell me about that experience when you first. get there. That's got to be just the culture shock of a lifetime. Yeah, it's not something that you can ever be prepared for. You don't realize like the ability to go to the bathroom, like the ability

to get water, the ability, like everything is a system. Like there's no more freedom at all across the board. You go where they say they want you to go. You do what they tell you to do. And that is it. you're stripped of every right that you've ever had. And so I went in and I think the hardest part for me is I was thrown into protective custody. Well, the people in protective custody are fighting murder charges. They're the criminally insane, right? They can't get let out or high profile cases. And you're left alone in a cell for 23 out of 24 hours a day. In isolation? Yeah. So you were isolated? Yeah. Why were you in isolation? Because my case was so high. high profile. They didn't want somebody to like attack me or, you know, whatever it was in the

main population. And it's interesting because you're lucky. I wanted to actually go into general pop because I was going crazy though being by imagine an alcoholic. You don't know you're an alcoholic. You're kicking drugs. But and you've got the mind that just won't shut up. I couldn't being alone was excruciatingly painful for me. Like excruciating. And I was having major health issues because I had been a heroin addict on the run for three or four years at that point. And I ended up getting a double kidney infection that almost killed me through that detox period. They didn't give you, you know, medication and I didn't have access to water because my sink was basically broken. And they provide you with three small, one milk and two juices a day that's like this big. So my kidneys were

shutting down because I was having such extreme, as you know, from heroin detox, vomiting and diarrhea. I was so incredibly sick. And, and, but I had this moment of clarity while I was in there, like, because no one in my family had ever gotten sober. No one had been to rehab. Rehab was like not a thing. Alcoholics, anonymous, like what the fuck? I had no idea what I was going to do. But I thought to myself, heroin, I should probably not do heroin. ever again. I had that first thought of my entire life. You know, my sister had overdosed in my arms and I didn't go, I'm never going to shoot heroin again. I just went, oh, I'm going to smoke it for a while. You know, like I had no desire to quit, but I finally started to have that desire. And the desire

faded out. The first night that I got out, I was loaded. I was nearly sexually assaulted. And I woke up in my bedroom the next day in my bathroom in the shower crying because I thought that I was like I was going psych I think I was going into psychosis I thought that I was still in jail like I couldn't like everything was so disoriented. Were you traumatized by the experience of jail? Yeah I think that it was a lot of trauma and how long how long after leaving jail what was the time period that it took you to get sober from that point. So I swear off heroin. I don't realize that alcohol, whatever, it's all the same for me, you know? Right. And I ended up going right back to heroin. Within two weeks, I was back to like shooting up dope. And I stopped going to probation because all I

cared about was basically going back and getting high, right? I had no money. I was like doing awful things for drug money. What kind of awful things? You know, hooking up with my drug dealer, panhandling on the streets, all of the things that come with terrible drug addiction. Call the viewers what that means in English. Yeah. So basically lying to people begging for money at gas stations and dealing drugs for my drug

dealer boyfriend and having sex with him in exchange for him to shoot me up four times a day. Right. what ended up happening was um thank you for that i had 0.08 grams of heroin left so like a a dot of dope left um to get well the next morning to go hustle again and i found myself looking at myself in the mirror at like 10 o'clock at night going, if there's a god, I can't. I don't know what to do. Like, I can't stop. This is so bad. I will, I'm going to die. Like, I'm going to die. I don't know how to stop. And I hadn't shown up to probation in several months. And that next morning, they raided my house and took me back to jail. And I was facing, I had a suspended sentence.

Did they find the- They found the 0.08 grams of heroin and charged me. possession of heroin. They raided your house and found heroin? In my wallet, yeah. I had it like folded up in a piece of foil in my wallet. And so obviously I violated probation. Now I've caught a second felony. So now I have two felonies.

And what it ended up transpiring was the judge, Judge Peter Espenazzo, always say his name. The DA was ready to throw the book at me. Go away for three to six years. You violated your parole. This is your sentence. And the DA was, and the judge was like, she's a 19 year old girl. She's begging for help. I'm going to place her in treatment. And that's when I went into treatment. And at first, I was complete, I was a milieu disrupting little asshole, right? I didn't want to be there. I was crawling out of my skin. I didn't want to be an alcoholic because I knew my dad was and I didn't want to be anything like him. And there was so much like stigma and shame. But one of the beautiful things about Southern California is we have a really robust group of young people in AA. For sure. That doesn't exist everywhere in the country.

And we are blessed to have it here. Young people's AA saved my life. Right. It's back to the community thing. That's really what it was. I finally saw myself for the first time in my life because I didn't think I was. that bad, you know? And I had a reality check. Well, we're always the last to know. Yes. Yes, absolutely. And so what happened was, yes, I was like AA ended up being the thing that saved my life. Treatment was the container.

I don't think I really got much from like, I wasn't ready for the therapeutic work that I needed to do just then. Like that deeper work, like, like I wasn't ready to touch that yet. No, but it had, but. But again, you don't, time goes on, right? We don't remember. But I can guarantee you the parts that stuck were building blocks for the next. Yes. But what really I needed was community. And for people to tell me you're welcome here and you're safe here and we'll wrap

around you until you can do this on your own. Like, I didn't have any life skills. I didn't know how to open a bank account. Like the women in AA showed me how to rebuild my life. I thought I was going to have to file for bankruptcy. I didn't. I didn't know how to get back into school. I went to school.

I didn't know how to open a bank account and manage my bills. I learned how to do that. Like the fundamental things and, again, a design for living, like how to not do harm to people anymore, how to clean up the wreckage of my past, how to make living amends on a daily basis. You know, and I very quickly started working in the recovery space and the recovery space and the rest is history. I've been doing that for 11 and a half, 12 years now. I will say this, though, and this is another problem in our industry, is a lot of people who are sober who open up facilities or work in facilities think that that's enough, that they're doing their recovery. And it's, that's not been, I've never been drier in my recovery. And for people who don't know what drier means,

it means emotionally bankrupt, but not using drugs than when I had that belief, right? Oh, I'm so tapped out. I work so hard. I'm so tired. I don't have time to be of service to others. That's a fiddly place to be in. So I think for me, it's like it's about each day just going, how can I show up and be the best person that I can possibly be. So you don't think you've transcended alcoholism? No. You don't. I think that. Do you believe that people can transcendent alcoholism. Not if they're a real alcoholic. Maybe if they have substance use disorder. You just said that because you know that's what I wanted to do. Yeah. No, I really believe that. Like, if you work and here's the thing, people might get sober in the rooms of AA and then 10 years

down the line be like, I don't think I'm a natural alcoholic. I think I had substance use disorder. Great. If you want to go out and play that deck of cards, that's fine. By all means, go right ahead. I don't have any desire. Like, my life is so good without substances. There's never a part of me that goes, I wish I could have a glass of wine tonight ever. Me neither. It's not fun. I couldn't, I couldn't do cocaine or heroin if my life depended on it. And nobody likes that. This drives me nuts, though. When you hear old timers in the room of AA that have like 30 years, okay? Remember the Sarah retreat meeting? Yes. Yes. Of course.

Remember the leader? I won't say his name, but he was so cranky. I don't remember. Give me the first name. Oh my God. What was his name? It's going to come to me in a minute. But he was the crankiest old fart. And he was so cool and he had like the Chrome Hearts jewelry. I said, Tom the tip of my Tom. He led them. Tom, Tom. Tom. I remember Tom. And Tom used to always say, he said 20 years or something like that. I'm always this close to a drinker. He was so, I'm scared to death that I'm going to use drugs. And my thing is like, then you haven't had a spiritual awakening as a result of the steps.

Not only that. Not only that. I'm free. I don't have to obsess about it. I don't have to think about it. It rarely ever crosses my mind. I never think about drinking or using. Right.

Ever. Do you know why? Because I had a spiritual experience as a result of the steps is what I think. Okay. good. And enough time. I think fucking God. It's those two things. Those first couple of years are so brutal. They are, they are brutal. You're 11 years sober. 13.5. 13. At 10 years sober, you probably blew up. Yeah, I did. Do you know? My divorce, my marriage, my whole life. But your whole, but it got better at 10 years. Yes. Well, because I,

that experience, I think that experience threw me back into the work harder than I've ever done before. Are these, are these Evans kids? Yeah, my daughters. They're 11 and 8. Do you, does Evans see the kids? Yeah. Yep. Great father. Great father. Yeah. And we're great friends. Like, we really get along and like each other. We're just not good married people. Like, we're just not. Like, we just wanted for this next period of our lives, we wanted different things. And that's okay. He's now a psychologist and he's running Oro and he's doing well. Yeah, he's a good guy. All Canadians are good guys.

Yeah, they're also all alcoholics for the most part. Oh, they really? Yeah, alcoholism is so rampant in Canada. I know that. And they just don't know it because it's so cultural. It's like, you know, it's like Irish people. Like they drink and they drink heavily heavily. Yeah, I mean, listen, like that, again, these are moments.

in people's lives that would usually break somebody, but thankfully, I had the tools that, you know, were not just AA, but to help me transcend. Where do celebrities go to rehab? They're going to Carrera. Are you just telling me that because that's what I want to hear? No, I think that people are looking for an elevated in a different experience than what they've had before. Oh, that's us.

You know, we allow dogs at Carrera. That's wonderful. Is that, because I don't play nice with others, is that something that is a typical in the industry? No. The one thing I want to talk about is managing your stressors because there's only so much an alcoholic can tolerate before he's got to self-medicate. Right?

And, you know, people are stigmatizing therapy, but not like they used to. And people don't understand that therapy isn't something you have to do. It's something you get to do. It is the ultimate luxury. Yeah. Because if our stressors are here and we don't have. have the support, right? That's greater than the stressor.

Yeah. At some point, you've had enough, right? Talk to me about that, about your experience with your personal therapy. It's interesting because I think that there's like levels to deeper work. Like talk therapy was something that was really helpful for me in the beginning of my journey. Like, I just need to get it all out. You know, I just need to like let it rip. to somebody and let them kind of hold space for me and offer some suggestions. And I think that that was

a really important process for me. But as I've gotten more time under my belt, I knew that I needed to do the deeper work. I'm a really big fan of internal family systems work. Everybody can go and buy the book, no bad parts. It changed my life. I worked with an IFS therapist for two years. And I will say that was like dropping the bags. Talk therapy was like reorganizing everything into the filing cabinet, right? And this was like setting them ablaze and finally letting the go of all of that stuff.

Sorry, I cuss. No, it's okay. Letting go of all that stuff. You can cuss. I'm the one who's got the same. And then somatic work, right? And there was like EMDR. Like I had a period where I was doing a lot of EMDR,

and I thought that that was really helpful too. But for me, neurofeedback was really helpful. I think brain spotting is wonderful. Like, who doesn't benefit from that? But what I will say is that for me, internal family systems work and doing somatic therapy has been the game changer for me. I needed to get into my body in a way that I'd never had before.

And those two therapeutic models changed my life. I don't know. Explain what somatic experiencing is to, a layman. To a layman. Because I don't think they get it. Yeah. And initially when I first heard about it years ago, I was like, okay, so you scream

into a pillow or you beat out of a pillow. I don't get it. My experience with my somatic therapist was different. So essentially, we have all of this amazing research on how the body keeps squore. There's a book called that, right? Like that as we're experiencing traumatic events throughout our life, our body, retains that energy, right? That experience gets stuck there.

And so when we're talking about it therapeutically, we're maybe processing it on a cognitive level. Like, what's that movie that I watched with the kids about anger? Yes. Which one is that? It starts with an eye. What is that called? That one's so good.

Oh, I love that movie. Yes. With all the parts, that's very ISS too, the parts, right? The angry part, the anxious part. the sad part, right? Inside out. Inside out. That's it.

Inside out is amazing. But the process of semantic work is about learning how to process by going inwards. And my somatic experience might be different than your somatic experience. It takes wild to build up rapport with your therapist. But mine literally looks like I lay on a table and she holds me. like safe touch through re-experiencing my trauma. I can tell you that that has changed my life. That's awesome.

It's changed my life. That's awesome. So what I would say is beyond that, like, I think, I don't know. I don't need to get into a whole tangent about just how we're living and operating as a society is no longer sustainable and talk therapy and all of this different work is great and very helpful. But until we change the system that we live in, we're going to continue to suffer, is my belief. Then we're going to continue to suffer. Yeah. Yeah. Or create suffering for our children, for each other. I mean, we live in a society. We've lost all connection,

and this is what's so beautiful about AA to community and to a shared respect. responsibility for each other. It's so much harder today for the kids today than it was for us. Yeah. Because everyone's got a voice. Everybody thinks their opinion matters. Everybody. Well, here's the thing.

We used to be able to hash that out riding our bikes down the street. That's right. That's exactly right. And now we're behind a screen receiving information all the time without being able to participate in the conversation and that's what's about it is that you know when i was a kid and i ran my mouth okay i got my i got my ass kicked okay um now people are running their mouths uh because they got computer courage so it never gets no one's there to check them right yeah so it never gets worked out you know what i mean um that's the sad part and the girls are taking it

so seriously. Yeah. Right? And they're all having such a hard time. The guys don't give a shit as much. I don't think the problem that we're having right now with incels online is... What are insoles? Incells are men who have very little purpose, who spend tons of time online,

listening to people who are inherently racist, sexist. and it's a very troublesome. It's basically like a woman-hating epidemic online with these young males, and they're being infiltrated by this information to say, like, women are the problem, right? And it's through the lens of like the far right. But the bottom line is the online space is so toxic for individuals who don't have a sense of self. who feel extremely lost. They don't have community.

They don't have the ability to have these conversations. Like, hey, man, what you just said about that girl was up. Where can people find you? You've got 117,000 people following you on Instagram. Yeah. You can follow me on Instagram at It's Alexis Haynes. Thank you so much for coming today. I really appreciate.

I have one request. Yes. Okay. I need you to look into that camera right there. And I need to say, see you next Tuesday. I love that. Okay. See you next Tuesday. See you next Tuesday. We're out of time. Please subscribe on YouTube, click the thumbs up, and leave a comment.

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