We're Out of Time - From Marine to Actor: Maurice P. Kerry on PTSD, Betrayal & Starting Over

Episode Date: April 3, 2026

On this episode of We’re Out Of Time, host Richard Taite sits down with actor and decorated Marine veteran Maurice P. Kerry for a raw and deeply personal conversation about survival, identity, and transformation after war.Maurice opens up about the harsh realities of combat during Operation Iraqi Freedom and the mindset that kept him alive—“complacency kills.” But the battle didn’t end overseas. From being cheated on while serving his country to returning home and facing homelessness, Maurice shares the unseen struggles many veterans endure when transitioning back to civilian life.He speaks candidly about PTSD, not as a weakness, but as something he’s learned to harness, and reflects on how the Marine Corps ultimately saved him from a very different path. Now, as an actor on CBS’ Beyond The Gates, Maurice is using his platform to tell stories that matter and bring respect back to those who serve.This episode also dives into his personal life—being born from an affair, feeling unwanted, and raising his child as a single father for 16 years—all while navigating purpose, discipline, and growth. Maurice’s story is one of resilience, accountability, and redefining what it means to survive—and truly live.

If just this one time, especially during the month of May, if you see somebody in the military or know somebody in the military, just reach out and just tell them thank you. You know, and mean it. You don't tell them thank you if you mean it. If someone has a problem with substance use disorder, please call one call placement. That's 8888-8-3-1-1581. And if we can't help you, we'll make a referral to someone who can. One-call placement is affiliated with Carrera Treatment, Wellness, and Spa and One Method Treatment Centers. Today's guest is someone who truly embodies resilience and reinvention. Maurice P. Carey is an actor, director, and producer and decorated United States Marine Corps

Combat veteran who served during Operation Iraqi Freedom 2. Like so many who served, his transition back to civilian life came with real challenges, and he's turned that lived experience into strength and forward momentum. Today, he's starring on CBS's Beyond the Gates as Randy Parker. Maurice, I'm honored to have you here. You served as a Marine during Operation Iraqi Freedom 2. What did that experience teach you about disciplined brotherhood and survival? Well, the most important thing was, and we use the phrase often while we were there, is complacency kills, you know, and staying vigilant.

You know, keeping vigilant will keep you alive. And remember your training, you know. And with that, you had to stick to the things that you were taught. You know, you had to listen to your command, even if you didn't agree with what they were saying. You had to stick with them. Because ultimately, the main thing we wanted to do was just come back home alive, you know. I didn't realize how important and how strong, how strong, you know, mentally going to combat would make me.

One of the things that I say all the time is I say in Iraq I was shot at in bond and my enemy couldn't kill me so what the fuck do you think your opinion can do to a man like me? You know, people will say things, especially in the industry that I'm in now. People will say things and other type of people will crumble.

I'm like, this life we live is cake in comparison to what it could be. What do you think about what's going on right now with the war? How you feel about that? I mean, to not ask you a veteran on this show, a question about a war in the Middle East, it would be like the height of, it would be just. Right. Missed opportunities.

Thank you for that. Thank you for that. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, I fought in the Middle East. And as far as what's going on right now, I don't. As it stands now, I don't know enough about the sides to be able to give an informed opinion. You know what I mean?

Like, I would love to. But right now, I would be speaking from ignorance. I would genuinely be speaking from ignorance to give an opinion or something that I haven't researched. You know, what I do know is that I am for liberation. You know, liberation. I'm for human rights and freedoms of people. That is what I am for. And that is what I stand for.

I always stand. And to this day, I stand for women and children. So as long as we are protecting women and children and I align with that. If we start going against the things that go against things that are fundamental to me as a man, not protecting women, not protecting children. I'm not with it. So you've got a daughter then? Absolutely.

Full-time single father for the past 16 years. She'll be 17 next month. I've got a 16-year-old daughter. Oh, so you know. Yeah. It was tough. It was tough 14 and 15, but 16 is a cake walk. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I was at my daughter's concert last night, and I just, I constantly tell her how proud I am of her, but I think it's partly self-serving because I've raised her by myself, her whole life. and just to see the person that she's becoming almost 17 years old, AP classes, AB student, gifted classes her entire life. And I'm proud of her because she's so much smarter. The only thing, I tell her all the time, the only thing that I have on my daughter,

the only thing I have is time and experience and wisdom. That's what I got on her. If she had my time and my experience, I couldn't touch her. When you came home, what hit you the hardest about transitioning back into civilian life. Well, when I first came home from Iraq, for one, I was not transitioning. I was going right back into Garrison life.

Where? Garrison, back home, back on the base. So basically, I was coming back to Garrison, and I was a married man, at least I thought I was. And that was. No way. I don't know if you have a year for this. You're going to tell me this now. You're going to go do this with me?

I got got. They got me. Uh-huh. I got got. So basically, you're out there. You're out there saving the world. And you got to be in your bed? You know, I didn't get the details.

But probably I wouldn't put it past him because come to find out it was also a Marine and he was my neighbor. So I wouldn't put it past him. And he was married, too, at the time. So probably not that I think about it. David, why did you make me think about this? I'm sorry, I'm sorry. But you're happy to you really well. This is not a Jerry Springer thing.

You're doing really well. How long ago is this? This was 2000. And so I came back from Iraq in 2004. So obviously, 22 years ago. But I still tell the story often because now it's been so long. You know, I can look back and see. And I can learn from it, learn from the experience.

also teach from it, you know? I tell, look, I tell young, new recruits all the time, don't get married young. I know, I know. Don't do it. Give it some time. So basically what ended up happening with me was I came back from war. And you know how you see in the movies where they have the, they're on the bus and all the families are running up and everybody's all that.

You got nothing. Nothing. No family. No friends, no wife. And I stood there for an hour because I just knew for a fact that my wife was going to come get me. I just got back from me. I knew it. And then the bus driver before he left, you said, you want me to drop your off somewhere?

I'm like, my wife is coming. My wife is coming. So I started making that walk. You know, eventually it kicked in. I started making the walk to my house, which was miles away. But I was just going to walk. I had my seat bag. and I was just a walk.

And then my cousin pulls up. That was the walk of shame, dude. That was the walk of I don't have anybody in my life. I'm alone in the world. And I deserve to suffer this walk. That's what that way. Let me, let me interject. I would say it was not the walk of shame.

It was the walk of pain. That's right. That's exactly. It was a walk of pain. I didn't feel shame. I felt hurt. That's right. And forgotten.

and unloved and uncared for. So that's, that was, it was pain. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That was horrible. That is, that is heartbreaking. I'm sorry. My cousin ended up, his name.

I'm actually, we're named after his dad. My cousin, Ken pulled up. And as I'm walking, he, you know, I jumped in, jumped into the car. And he took me, he took me home. He made a stop before. But he took me. home, you know, and dropped me off. And when I walked into my house, I'm storytelling now.

When I walked to my house, I just knew for a fact that my wife is going to be right there in the living room. Because when you walked in, it was a living room, the kitchen and upstairs with the bedrooms. I walked in, boom, okay, nobody's here. All right, no problem. I know she's upstairs. She's got to be upstairs waiting on me bucket naked. I've been going for months.

That's right. She's waiting on her. So I dropped my stuff. And before I got home, I stopped by the store. and I got mint chocolate chip ice cream and apple juice because those were her favorite things. And I went to the kitchen, I made a bowl of it and, you know, glass and I put them in a tray. And I'm like, I can't wait to get upstairs. My wife, I know she's upstairs naked.

So then I go upstairs. And I get to the bedroom and the bed is completely made. Everything's clean, but no wire. So this is where the delusion starts to kick in. I say to myself, there is no possible way in life that this woman is not in this house right now. And so I put the stuff down and I start searching the house. This is how goofy I was. I looked under the bed.

I looked in the closet. I looked in the bathroom behind the shower curtains. I looked under the sink. I looked behind the refrigerator. I looked in the pantry. I looked in the outdoor closet thing. I looked everywhere I could possibly think of in the house because there was no way in hell that my wife was not in his house. Where was this woman?

At the time, I had no idea. But what I found out later, because 10 years later, we talked about that whole situation. And she was like right down the street at a friend's house because she knew I was back. And she didn't know what to do because she had been having sex with a guy. And the only thing that I saw in the house was seemed out of place was the fact that none of my pictures was. were in the house, and she had a bottle full of water and cigarettes. So I was like, she didn't smoke her ass off. She never smoked.

She didn't smoke when I was when I was there. So it was just odd. So to shorten up everything, come to find out she was sleeping with the Marine, who was my next door neighbor. And he ended up getting her pregnant and she decided to leave me. So that was that transition. Did they have the baby? Yo, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He had my name for a period of time because we were married. So he had my name. I found that out later, too. I was like, man, you just dead dirt. I'm sorry, man. Listen. That's traumatic. Listen.

That's, that's horrific. Oh, may I add one more thing? Yes. So remember I said earlier that my cousin made a stop when he picked me up? He made a stop. And I was very vague about that intentionally because he made a stop at the gym. And he was talking to a friend of his. I found out.

later that my cousin that we're both named after knew the entire thing. He knew everything. And he was sent to pick me up. And the guy that he stopped and talked to at the gym was the guy she was sleeping with. They were friends. And...

Do you talk to the school anymore? I haven't talked to my cousin in 20 plus years. Good. 20 plus years. PTSD doesn't always look dramatic. Sometimes it's quiet. What did it look like for you? you.

For me, and you know that's your wife sleeping with your next door neighbor. Yeah, that actually falls into the PTSD.

It's funny because when I don't really date now and all that stuff matters. So for me, PTSD is not like what they show in television. For me,

I know it is for some people. For some people, it's crippling. You know, for me, I've learned to live with it in a way that I've made it useful.

I'm hyper aware. hyper-focused and hyper-vigilant. So I'm always watching. I'm always learning. I'm always analyzing the situation. When I step into a room, the first thing I do is I figure out who's the biggest guy in the room and if I need to break him down if something goes off, how would I break this person down? It's not that I'm something that I'm going. No, that's the way you, that's the way you're trained. That's the way you think. How do I break this person down effectively to get me and my people out of here. Same thing. If we're in a room, what are the exits?

How high off the ground if I have to go through this window? Stuff like, that's what I'm thinking. And it happens so fat. Boom, boom, boom, boom. All right, we're good. I got it. When I'm driving, I'm always like, don't box me in because I'm going to figure a way out of it because the thing

is if I get boxed in and something's going on, I need to get up out of there. Basically, I'm a safe, I'm about protection, safe. You're a couple steps ahead. Your vision is always into the future and you're always anticipating. Impossibilities. And that's what, and that's how it manifested itself.

Absolutely. We didn't talk about when you came home from the war before you got into acting. You had a bout of homelessness and I did too. Tell me about that. October 14th, 2005, I lived in a blue Chevy. 2003 Malibu factory. And it didn't even belong to me. It belonged to another Marine who let me borrow his car just to drive around.

He had no idea that I was going to be using that as a base of operations for the next year. He had no clue. I didn't have, I was still in San Diego. All my family was back in Atlanta. I was still in San Diego trying to figure it out, trying to make something work. I was also going through a divorce at the time, you know, with that whole thing. situation. So I was going through a divorce. And so I had to wait because, so yeah, and what I would do from time to time was, back then we still had MySpace. And so I would

find a kind young lady who, you know, was sympathetic to my situation. And I'm saying, hey, I'm a Marine, I'm homeless. You know, mind if I use your couch, you know, I'll clean, I'll cook, I'll do whatever. I just, you know, it's a place to stay. And every night, I have, happened three, maybe four times where somebody was nice enough to let me stay on their couch. That's great, man. One of those people, I'm still in contact. I'm probably going to see her in May. I haven't seen her in 20 plus years, but I'll probably see her in May, just to tell her thank you,

because I probably wouldn't be here without her. But what's not clear in the chronology of events is when you came home, then you were homeless for a little bit. how'd you get your first break into acting? So 2006, this is before I went back to Georgia for a while. In 2006, I tried to get into acting, but I had no idea what I was doing. You can look at some of the background of it. It was a show called Veronica Mars, and you'll see me back there, 25 playing a high school kid.

And I didn't know what I was doing back then, and I gave it up, you know. But in 20, so, you know, gave it a. up had got remarried, had a kid. And in 2018, February 2018, I made a decision. I said, I'm going to try acting again. A friend of mine showed me that he was in the born supremacy. And I was like, how do you do that? And from that point on, I decided to become an actor. And it was just a look I had at the time. I had, you know, dreads and a big beard. It was a look that I had at the time that they really liked. And my very, very first television opportunity was McGuiver.

Was McGiver Season 3 on CBS, which is how long ago? Wow. McGiard. Yeah, not Richard Dean Anderson, McGiver, but the newer one from the late. Yeah, yeah, not that far, not that far back. So they did a remake, I think, in 2016. And so I was on it in season three. So, yeah.

And been going strong ever since. You know, I got to work with Morgan Freeman, Viola Davis, Chris Maloney, a lot of great names that I've had an opportunity to work with, you know. That's great. Luke Kim's worth. Yeah, yeah, it was dope.

That's good. Let's talk about this, because I want to talk about your soap opera for a minute. Okay. What's the name of your soap opera? I play Randy Parker on CBS's Beyond the Gates, also streaming on paragon. Who are you sleeping with on the show?

as the currently nobody see i can't tell you nothing for the future currently nobody but let's just say let me say i've been at the gym a lot all right i've been in the gym you know so just gym so i mean what is is that like what do i ask next do you have an only fans channel do you know that i met a guy who told me that i could make 60 to 70 000 bucks a month on only fans showing my feet They like black feet I'm kidding These are your feet? No, no, no

Listen, how big are your feet? 11 and a half And I've got 11s So you should be making 65 to 75 grand I got marine feet Don't nobody want to see these boats These are marine corps

That got war toes What are you talking about How do you like daytime And what's next for Randy? Oh my God So I love Wait wait wait wait wait Randy does not sleep with his cousin

hell no she's really cool your cousin's really cool on that show my Atlanta slipped out just did hell no no that's okay no no no I love I love daytime man but I love the opportunity

that it's provided but I think what's more important that I love is I love going in to the studio people that we work with are amazing like it's like a family in there so the difficulty for is because I do have PTSD and it affects my short-term memory. There's so many words and so much memorization that I have to work especially hard to memorize

my lines so that way I can be effective for everybody else. Because one thing I hate, I don't believe in being perfect, but I also don't believe in being a drag for somebody who's depending on me. Right. Well, you're a military man. So you're going to be overprepared and you're not going to screw up. So that's the one good thing about having veterans who work for you. I mean, they're my best employees without question.

I'm glad to hear that. Thank you. Yeah. I really am glad to hear that. I do wish I could do a little bit more of physicality because that's where my heart is. Like I said, I work out of lift weights. I train. But it's very, very verbal.

And I would love to do a little bit more physicality. So Taylor Sheridan, you know, if you ain't doing nothing, how that would have me. you know what I'm saying? All right. So who are you going to, okay. So who do you want to sleep with on the show? Do you get to choose? Like, I want to sleep with her.

No, I don't get to choose. I'm just hoping, um, whoever she is, she's amazing. She's great. She's beautiful. Um, and, you know, but I, there is someone, there is, I will say this. There is something coming that we have shot. And I'm, proud of it. I'm actually, I got to see the edit and I'm proud of it. It was, you know, it's still

daytime. So it's, it's, it's relatively clean, but I'm very happy. And you have the love scene. I did have the love scene. Have you started to develop real feelings for Mona? And if so, will your connection to corrupt Joey Armstrong and his secret alliance with his cousin, Haley, complicate things? And now that Haley's con on Billy may be unraveling, what happens next? So starting with the first part of the question. As far as Mona and Randy, I believe it's a genuine long for a safe friendship. Because my character Randy, he's a con artist, he's a criminal, got thug-like tendencies. So he's surrounded by danger and evil and death.

He's surrounded by these things. But then Mona comes in as somebody complete civilian. has nothing to do with his life and wants to actually, it actually sees good in Randy. So I don't think it's romantic more than it's like an oasis. You know, it's more like, God, there actually is a good person. And that good person sees me as a good person possibly.

So with that, yeah, I think that's what more it is. I'm not sure because Karen has her thoughts on her character. I'm not sure what it is on motorcycle. but I know on Randy side, I believe it's more safe. She's safe. She's kind. She's not like us. You know?

Now, as far as complicating with working for Joey, my criminal boss, I think it could complicate the plan with Bill and Haley. And I think it could complicate those things. But I think Randy is professional and smart enough to not allow it. you know, he's not going to let that happen because it's like he doesn't want to die. He also doesn't want to miss out on $10 million. So I think he can be friends with her, but there's going to be a little bit of distance.

I don't know what the writers are going to write, but that's what I'm feeling from it right now. I can't wait to see who you're sleeping with on the show. Yeah, yeah, she's, uh... Who do you want to sleep with on the show? Who do you want to sleep with on the show? Oh, you know what? People ask me this, I want them to write a new,

character for Randy's love interest. To be honest with you, because everybody on the show is sleeping with everybody. And I'm like, eh, let's get Randy a new girl. Let's just get Randy a new girl, you know? Remember, who was King Tachala's love interest in Black Panther? In Black Panther, it was Nakia. And in the comics, it was Storm. Yeah, I don't care about the comics.

Okay. I know. Yeah. that girl I was showing off I would yeah I know that was great

the chicks are gonna love it um I was a nerd do you see what's on my wall sir no I don't hold let me see for the focus

I can't see that fast that far okay yeah it's transformers so people don't know this but I'm I was born a nerd a gamer comic books

all that stuff you know but people would look at me and think that because I'm 6.2 plus pounds with muscles, you know, and I used to shoot people for a living. So they're like, okay, he likes it. No.

You like college? All right. I do. Out of all the superheroes, if you could be one of them, which one would you be? Icon. Icon is from milestone comments back in the 90s when a couple of black creators decided to create their own, their own universe. So we have the DC universe.

we have the Marvel universe, but back then it was the Dakota universe. So Icon was basically a Superman-like character from, he was in exile from another planet. But he could shape shift and he landed during the time of slavery. But he had, but he was immortal. So they didn't play the Superman during slavery times. That probably wouldn't go well. Right. But yeah.

But so what they did was they, you know, made him immortal and he was in my mom. time. So he was basically a Superman-like character. And like I said, it was the Dakota verse where there was all kinds of black superheroes. Like, I don't know if you heard static shock. He comes from the Dakotaverse, um, hardware, which is sort of Ironman-like, but more work. I feel like I've just been in one of those comic cons thing. Yeah, I told you. You and I are never getting laid. Never. We're never getting laid. I have the old, dude. Like, ever. ever ever again ever again i would be phoenix so yeah it would be icon i would only be

that's it coolest character coolest character no no after some time people are starting to come around i'm like he was kind of right Let's not even have that conversation. All right. Let's not even go there. The haters are too much.

So let me ask you a question, my man. Is there anything you want to talk about that we missed? Anything you're doing next? One thing I would love to mention is that I appreciate what you're doing. I appreciate you. And I've learned a little of your story. And I just want to say, you know, first of all, thank you for what you're doing.

Thank you for what you had to go through to get here. Dude, you're the one that, you're the one that fought for your country. I just, I just help alcoholics. I was going to say, when you fall for your life,

so you all fight for something. Yeah. So don't, don't admit to that. Let me ask you a question. What do you, what do you, what do you,

um, you ever use drugs? No, no. You never, you know, no, it was for a reason,

though, it was for a reason. So my, my reasoning behind it was, it's because I was black. That's why I didn't want to do it. Because in high school, they would say, you don't smoke weed,

but you're black. And that pushed me off of it. Got it. I've always been the road less travel person because I can see where everybody else is going. I'm looking at where y'all are going. The path is already laid. Y'all got that.

Just report back to me and let me know what's going on. I'm going to go over here and see what this does. I'm curious about what's over here. Because nobody's over there. Y'all are scared to go over. Let's go over here. You don't want to go? I got it.

I'll go. So when people would say things like, you know, but you're, when it would end with, but you're black, it would deter me from that. My biggest fear is that someone's going to give my kids a pill or a powder. And they're all laced now. Okay. And it's going to everybody. Okay. Have you had the talk with your daughter yet about not taking pills or powders or vapes or anything from her friends?

We have had the conversations. And I reiterate the conversations every time I might see it in media, film, television, things like that. I always reiterate. But I've also been the only person to raise my daughter. And I've raised her to be intelligent, analytical, and also to question things as far as like, you know, putting things into your body and only because someone else is doing it. I need, I need to always ask for a better reason than because my friends did it. You know, because I will never accept that. So she understands that it's a gamble. It's a 50-50 gamble and I don't like those odds. Those odds are too close.

And you don't want to gamble with that. And then you end up not even deceased, but you end up worse, in a vegetative. state. Now you're stuck and now you've kind of a burden, not only yourself, but the people that love you. How about anybody? You know anybody right now suffering from drugs and alcohol? I know of one lifelong alcoholic, which is my uncle, but it's he's lifelong. He's in his 60s. He ain't changing. All right. So you're running with the right crowd.

I have to. I have a kid. I have kids, but you have two kids. You have two kids? You have two kids? Yeah, I have a son. I have a son. We didn't give your son any love. You don't like your son? No, it's not that. People like to ask a lot of questions about it.

And I try to, he doesn't like the spotlight. How old your boy? 17. Well, he'll be 17 this year. So I used to be a rapper, and I did rapper-like things, like having two women pregnant at the same time.

So I did that. And so, yeah, yeah. But he lives in Tennessee with his mother. And like I said, he doesn't like the spotlight. So I would prefer that all those special moments, everything that I ever did with everyone, everything that ever did would have just been with one person, one special person. I know, I know. We're such a love addicts.

We're love addicts. So many stories with so many different women that when I turn 80, and let's say I am with somebody, I can't share those stories with her. Like, who wants to know? I would love to be 80 years old. We're sitting back. Don't nothing work no more. I'm like, baby, remember we was on that ceiling one time?

Remember that time we was in Tijuana? You remember that? I can't do that. So at Carrera and one method, we, you know, obviously we take care of veterans. That's the one thing this time around when I came back to work was, and I was looking for a CEO, the only, the only criteria I had was some. someone who would build a thousand beds for veterans so we could take them right off the street and put them into treatment and change their lives.

Now, that's my thing. Okay? I love the military. I've never been in the military, but this was my way of taking care of my country and my little small slice of the world. Okay. What are you doing? What are you doing to make a difference?

What I'm doing is I'm bringing light to and giving a platform and a signal to the things that veterans go through that people forget about. I often tell people that the military has done its job so well that people don't think they need us anymore. That's right. That's right. We are so good that people don't. It's not that they don't think we need. We need them. It's just we take it for granted because, you know, we're so good at what we did.

And my goal is to bring a little bit more reverence and respect back to the military. You know, you don't have to worship the military. I'm not asking anybody to do that, but I'm asking that would you say thank you for your service to mean it and to understand exactly what you're saying, that somebody made the conscious. decision to be willing to die for people that they don't know so that way you can say and do whatever you want. And they did it willingly. So with me, anytime there's opportunities to raise awareness and shed light on the good things and the good things and the after effects, the good and the bad of being in the military, I'm there. You know, as often as I can be,

I am there because I get it. I know who I could have been without the military. There's a good chance I could be, I would have been in jail, it's probably still in jail now, if the Marine Corps hadn't straightened me to fuck out. If a veteran is struggling right now, what would you say to them?

Struggling how? Struggling how. Well, you know how. I mean, the veterans are struggling just being alone because the voices and the trauma and the playing the tape back over and over again. And then, you know, they have some variation of standing out outside of a bus having no one. Because even when there's everybody around them, they still feel like they've got nobody. Because nobody understands what the hell they went through.

You're answering your own question. find someone I hate when I do that, dude. Yeah. Find someone who does find an organization, find an ear,

someone to listen, who does understand. But also, also, and this is really the most difficult part is to find something in the present

and possibly the future to latch on to because the past is where the pain is. And you don't want to hang out with pain. You want it to go away. Now,

my hypocrisy hypocrisy right now is showing. And I will say, because again, I don't have those fears. My hypocrisy shows because there are pains that I have in me that I actually don't want healed. I find them useful. That's because that's your ache. It's familiar. It's your ache. You're not ready to give it up. You know, and I wouldn't know who I would be without them. So I think what are those aches that you're not willing to give up today. Oh, now it's going to get me. Now it's going to get real. All this bullshit, it's been bullshit just to get to right here right now. Let's do it. Um, I,

when I was born, when I was born, I wasn't wanted. I was born out of an affair that my father had with my mother. He was already married. And my mother was used to having abortions. She had had an abortion. She didn't want to have me. My father was married. He didn't want me. And the only reason why I'm here today was, is because my grandmother, my grandmother told my mom to go ahead and had his baby. She said, have him. And she did. And so when she had me, my mom still didn't take me. I still stayed with my grandmother for months until my mother was ready. And even after she took me, there were moments where she would beat the shit out of me, you know, where she would get so frustrated and so angry that she would fuck me up.

When's the first time you remember that happening? How old were you? Probably five. All right, go on. There's no bad five-year-olds. You know that, right? Yeah, yeah, I was about five. Hey.

Hey, hey, Maurice, there are no bad five-year-olds. You know that, right? Oh, yeah. She and I, we've talked about it. We've talked about it. And she had to get help and she had to go see people. We have a corner. Is she a lie?

Yeah, I just talked to her yesterday. We have a partner. You guys are close? Yes, very, very close. Okay. Hold on a second. I want to go back. I need to go ahead.

I need this in my head. All right. So you're five years old. Your mom's beating you. You are only with your grandmother for the first few months until your mom could get her head around raising a child. Were you raised by your grandmother or by your mother? I was raised by my mom. Okay.

Go on. How old was your mom? How old was your mom? she had you? She was, uh, see, she was 25 almost 26. 25 almost 26. Well, you know how that is. They're babies. They don't know anything. 25. All right, gone. And so, yeah, yeah. And so, you know, by that, you know, by the time I was five, you know, she had had my brother as well. And so me and my brother about five, just under five years apart. But that, you know, growing up into that and looking back at the pictures of me and

some of, you know, knowing who I was, I was always trying to fit in. I was always trying to be wanted. I was always trying to be loved. Like, I realize now. You speak to your dad. When was last time you spoke to your dad? I just saw him Saturday. I saw him.

But we don't talk regularly. Did you ever live with your dad? Never, because he was with his wife. And his wife found out about me. And that was a, they're divorced now. And I was a part of that, you know. You weren't a part of that. He was a part of that.

For her, for her. Yeah. Because she actually, she watches the show. I saw, she was, I saw her Saturday for the first time in 20 plus years. And she was like, you, you do good. You know, because it's awkward. It's like, yeah, I'm the cheat. baby. You watch it every day on the show. It's crazy. So yeah, it was something I was always

striving for to be wanted. And I carried that feeling of not being adequate and it makes me fight harder. But it also pains me because when will I ever feel good enough? Here, let's get let's get started with that. Okay. First of all, you tell yourself a story. Now, it's a true story. Okay. You were not wanted. Both parents wanted you aborted. And you survived. And the best thing about you is you had a daughter. And we've discussed is smarter than the both of us combined. No shit. No shit. No shit. Okay. I mean, it's the best thing in the world. And, you know, most people, and I always say this, but, you know, people think they know what love is, but you don't really know what love is until you've had a child.

You don't. You think you do, but you don't know, right? And so, yes, you started out and you were dealt a shitty hand. Okay. But you're a grown-ass man. You're the dad now. You're the one providing the safe space, okay? And the direction and the advice and the love.

Nurturing. You're the one providing all of that. You do it right. So the narrative of, I'm alone in the world is wrong. because you've got this kid that is everything. She's your family, and you want to know what else? One day, she's going to have a child. One day.

And then you're going to be a grandfather. And if you think you're a good dad, wait till you're a grandfather. You're going to be the best grandfather in the world. And you're going to be able to play with that child all the time. and all the shit that you wish you had still and that I wish I had still, we're going to have it again. So there's not a lot of room in our lives for a significant other because it means more. What we've got is better. And we look back at that and we go, we would want the love to.

And you'll find it for sure, for sure. You're young. You know, what are you? Like 38? 40, almost 45. 45. I'm telling you, bro. Okay?

You'll have it all. But the best thing about you is your kid. And no one can ever take that from you. Well, no one can ever take what you did. Okay. And what you brought into the world. Okay. You're not alone in the world anymore, bro.

okay and it doesn't matter how you start it matters how you finish okay Jesus Christ how many how many games have you watched where you got blown out in the first quarter and you came back and won the game that's you yeah that's that's who you I've become comfortable I'm actually comfortable an idea that some people are not meant they're meant for more you know and I'm hoping I'm one of those people where if I were to take my focus put it into a significant other or a wife or girlfriend, that there's a possibility that somebody else who needs my attention, you know, might miss out on something important.

Like, I don't know because there are people out there like that who are, you know, focused on just helping people. And maybe that's what I was meant for is to be something else. I don't know. Just a thought. I don't know, man. We'll figure it out as we go. But you know what?

You know what I want to enjoy? Would I want to start learning how to do? Have a good time. Yep. I want to start learning to have a good time. You want to know what, bro, you might want to start learning how to have a good time, too, because our kids are 16 years old and they've got friends and we ain't got shit to do. So we better find ourselves lives.

And at least you're working on a soap opera. That's the scariest thing. It's scary. It's scary being a celebrity. And then I get DMs and, you know, social media all the time. I'm a God, I love you. And if you're ever in this and ever in this city and I'm like, oh, don't like, I'm like, I don't want to be with some, I would have loved to have met somebody permanent before all of this. Because now I question the genuity of some of the people now. Like, are you genuine? Are you here for Maurice or who are you here for? No, and let me just say this for, you know, the people who are watching, the people who see this. Well, obviously, they are sympathetic to the military, but just if you, if just this one time, especially during the month of May, if you see somebody in the military or know somebody in the military, just reach out and just tell them thank you. You know, and mean it. You don't, tell them thank you if you mean it. And that's really, There it is.

See you next Tuesday. There it is. It wasn't that hard. We're out of time. Please subscribe on YouTube, click the thumbs up, and leave a comment. Please subscribe on Apple Podcast and Spotify, and leave a rating and a review.

And share the We're Out of Time podcast with others you know who will get value out of it. See you next Tuesday.