We're Out of Time - The Surprising Truth About Cristal Aguirre's Road to Sobriety

Episode Date: January 7, 2025

Join  @RichardTaiteOfficial  and cohost Jason LaChance for a conversation of hope and triumph with Cristal Aguirre . Cristal Aguirre is a dedicated influencer who shares an inspiring journey of sobriety and personal growth. Formerly a vet assistant and model, Cristal transitioned from a period of daily substance abuse from 2018 to 2021. With 2 years and 8 months of sobriety under her belt, Cristal Agurrie has begun the process of transitioning and moving on from OnlyFans to focus on empowering others with her story. Cristal has found a meaningful narrative through every challenge to inspire and uplift those on their own paths. For all things Richard Taite, the We're Out Of Time podcast, and Carrara Treatment Wellness & Spa: https://linktr.ee/richardtaite For more on Cristal Aguirre: https://www.instagram.com/cristalaguirre222/ Key moments from this conversation with Cristal Aguirre , Richard Taite & Jason LaChance. Intro 00:00 When did Cristal first begin to experiment with substances and what were they? 01:29 What traumatic event involving people Cristal thought were her friends led to more substance experimentation? 03:56 When did substances go from experimentation to dependency for Cristal and how did her modeling career play a role? 07:17 What does Richard share regarding resolving the fact that "parents do their best"? 09:47 Does Cristal think that her father's drinking has hindered their relationship and possibly contributed to her addiction? 12:00 How did Cristial get sober and how did a car accident in which she injured someone else move her towards sobriety? 15:58 How did the accident lead to many of the best gifts to come in Cristal's life? 24:23 How long into her sobriety did Cristal begin to share her story and why? 28:37

I ended up getting sober. It wasn't until I got into a really bad car accident in. Were you drinking? Did you hurt anybody? I did. Just you want to get sober? No, I don't think so. It's hard to have a connection with your old man when, you know, there's not a meeting of the minds.

You know, and I know that hurts. I was always ditching for home. Before you leave this podcast, you're going to tell me why you got jumped. That is the only thing I want to hear. And I can tell you now. This is the We're Out of Time podcast. Sitting to my right, the man who revolutionized addiction recovery treatment. Richard Tate.

I'm Jason LaChance, a certified addiction recovery coach. And our guest today, Crystal Aguirre. Thanks for joining us, my friend. Hello. Thank you for having me. It's so nice because we've known each other, I don't know, six, seven months, but virtually. So it's nice to meet in person. Yes, I was, when I saw you, I was like, wow, he's really tall.

Yeah, I did not know that you that tall was like, oh, okay. Oh, it doesn't come up usually in conversation, but we're going to kind of dig through the whole entire journey. Don't you want to hear that? Don't you want to hear what it was like? Yes. I mean, I want to hear the what it was like and then what happened and what it's like now, don't you? Yeah. What was the introduction for you?

What was kind of going on where that curiosity became? substance, use, abuse, into addiction? I think when I was in high school was when I got exposed to everything. What's everything? Which was alcohol,

ecstasy, weed, what else? I think that was it around that time. Cocaine wasn't until after high school. Oh, okay. But I think it was more so. No. I think it was more so towards the end of like my senior year.

That's when I started to want to be part of the cool kids. And I think I always wanted to fit in with the cool kids, but I just never did. And I didn't realize that the cool kids were the type. The types who just like get in trouble all the time. Lame. And now you realize that's what's cool changes. Yeah. Right.

And those guys are all in either jail, prison, rehab, have or mental hospitals. Or they peaked at 17. Well, when my parents are from Mexico, so when they came here, I think they were 18, they had just gotten married. And then a year later, they had my sister. And then nine years later, they had me. So I think the times changed a lot.

But I think what never changed for them was working. So they weren't ever home. They were always working. And my sister was the one who had to take care of me. So she was my mom pretty much. And I just, I definitely want to say this that I love my parents. And I know that they did the best that they, that they could and knew how they were kids themselves. And they didn't know, never learned about, you know, emotional intelligence.

They never learned about mental health stuff. They never learned anything about that. And in our culture, that's non-existent. They'll make fun of you if you're sad Be talking about your depressed. Go clean or do something thing, you know? That's right.

So I think I was the first one in my family who had ever decided to maybe not decided but to choose to talk about it and I remember vividly I had gone to

the doctor one day because I was depressed. I had gone through this really traumatic experience with friends who, I ended up getting jumped by a couple of friends who were my friends. They were girls and after that... You got jumped by girls? Where was this?

This was a parking lot outside of a theater. Where? What city? In La Pente or West Covino. I think it was West Covino. I think it was a group of girls. Yeah, who were my friends? Who was the boy involved? The guy at

the time he was my ex-boyfriend and shut up yeah see okay this is oh man and i'm so friends with this guy we're really cool still but i don't know i used to think in my mind that it was it was planned like they did it on purpose it all it just to me the way everything played out all of us ended up in the same theater i don't know were you dating this guy yeah okay you were dating this guy and you and you and you broke up with them no oh you didn't break up with him yet. Well, after that, yeah. Like, after all that happened. So this guy, this, we tell me

what happened. I mean, this is just this is pissing you on. I need to know. So my gathering immediately, because knowing, especially because I grew up in a town, or went to high school in a town called Castroville. So it's like a northern version of West Covenant. So

I just figured there was a guy somewhere in place. Somebody liked them and he chose you over them or something. Oh, no. No, that's, I don't think that was it. But I think I think I've always had this. I literally was just saying this earlier before I got here. I feel like I've always had people. I don't like to say this out loud because I don't want it to sound arrogant.

But I feel like people always were always somewhat envious of me and who I am or what I look like. I don't know what it is. That's always been my life. And I feel like people would always want it to be them and not be. Right? Before you leave this podcast, you're going to tell me why you got chucked. That is the only thing I want to hear. I can tell you now. I can tell you now. You know, it's, I feel like maybe I, maybe I wasn't that good of a friend around that time.

I was probably really, really arrogant. Are you kidding me? You're going to. I'm serious. Maybe I was too. No, no, no, no. No. And they didn't like it because I had a really good relationship around the time.

And I had, my parents are still together from when I was younger. I'm not going to let you do. to yourself. I'm not going to let you make yourself the victim for getting your ass kicked. Sorry, that's where I draw the line. Okay. Okay. Try again. That ain't happening. I was probably a big. I think that's really it. You were and got your ass kicked by three of your friends. It was, was it three? Yeah. Yeah. It was two sisters, three, actually, and their mom. Their sisters and their mom? Yep. What trailer park did they limit? I don't know.

They lived like on the nicer side of the trail pointe. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So. Wow. That's a Jerry Springer moment. Yeah.

Absolutely. It's crazy, right? And I ended up like after I was, I got super depressed. But wait a minute. Hold on a second. You got your ass kicked while you were drunk or loaded or. Yeah. I was drinking in a theater.

Excellent. Well, that's what happens when you drank through high school. And now you're into college. Now you're doing cocaine. Tell me about the drug use. and how and how and what it was like and the wreckage you created. So around that time, I was trying to go to school, but I just never really liked school.

I never did. And I got a job. I was always really good at selling. So I would get like a retail job or something. So I was really good at talking to people. And I was always really good. Like one of the top sellers, wherever I was at, if it was like a Halloween store,

fucking guest store. I worked at a guest store. And after that, like, when I worked at the guest store, there was a man who approached me and he was a photographer. And he was like, hey, I love your look. I would love to shoot you. And I was like, yeah, I would love that. Because at the time, I actually wanted to do acting, but I never got into it because I didn't have a car. My mom was the one who would have to drive me all the way to out here to Hollywood and all that stuff for auditions and shouldn't have the time for that. And so I stopped doing it. And so I did my first photo shoot. I fell in love with it. So I got into modeling. But because of, I guess, what I look like, I didn't really fit into like, what is it? Like catalog stuff or anything

like that. I got into import modeling. Import modeling. Yeah, like car stuff, car modeling. Oh, okay. Yeah. And in that industry, that's, everyone's always drinking. You're, so there's alcohol everywhere all the time. And I think it was before that, this was one of my first tried cocaine, but I wasn't doing it often. Were you smoking it? I wasn't smoking. Have you ever smoked it? No.

Have you ever shot it? No. Have you ever shot any drugs? No. Okay. Yeah. And, uh, so. When you were doing cocaine, you were doing it with guys, right?

Yes, and girls. And girls. Did guys ever hold that against you, keep drugs from you for sex? If they do that, no. Not once. No. Okay. Well, you're lucky.

That happens to everybody. Should I just tell you, you started off by saying this, and you were very insistent on saying. you. He made it a point twice. Talk about how your parents did the best they could. Can I tell you how I resolve that for me? Because my parents were idiots. Yes, please.

Okay? I resolve it by saying, at 16 years old, my father got in a car through his belongings in there and drove from Detroit to L.A. that's it. He did great. I mean, I'd want to light myself on fire if I was born in Detroit. Right? I mean, that wasn't a good time for him.

I got to live 58 years in L.A. And who knows if I would have had the courage to come out? I don't know. You know? So when you think about your parents at 18, coming from another country, probably not speaking English and if they did not well

with probably little to no money, no way to make a living, nowhere to live, okay? Your parents are stars. Because you can always tell a good parent by their children. And I can't imagine your parents, not being extremely bright.

So your parents, you don't ever have to qualify that again because your parents are star players. Okay? All right, man. Back to me. That was making me emotional right now. Well, you are,

you're close with your father, right? I don't really have, I mean, I love him. But we've never bonded. I feel like we don't, really talk that like that because we were gone over alcohol. Because that's not him. Yeah.

Is he, I'm sorry. Wait, wait. What did you say? She say he does alcohol? We would bond over alcohol. And is he still drinking? Yeah. Does he want to get sober?

No, I don't think so. We give me a favor. If he ever wants to get sober, will you call Jason and Jason will have him put on the phone with me so that we can, you know, deal with this once and for all. because it's hard to have a connection with your old man when, you know, there's not a meeting of the minds. Yeah.

You know, and I know that hurts. Yeah. I think it's okay, sweet, we need to worry about this. I think both of them, I think, I was always searching for someone or home. I was always searching for home when I was young. And I think even now, I feel like it's something that I'm still healing to make sure that, like, I'm, what is it? I think it's called reparenting yourself. And that's why I say that I know that they did it the best that they could.

Can I tell you what you're feeling right now? Yes. So we're hardwired to love our parents. We'll never love our parents the way. our parents love us, okay, but we're hardwired to love our parents. And I did the same thing you did. I would get immeasurably distressed. I would be beyond consolable because I fantasized about the parents that I wanted instead of the parents that I had.

and once I understood that they actually did do the best they could. I mean, you remember what it was like at 18. I mean, you didn't know anything. Yeah. Okay? These are two kids at 18. Right? I mean, they really did great.

Oh, yeah. Great. And so you're never going to. you get all of your needs met. And they're going to check every box. But the high level from 30,000 feet, great job. Great job. And I'm sorry your dad can't really connect with you.

A lot of that is cultural, very macho culture. Yeah. Right. So that's tough on a little girl who's just found evolvement. Yeah. Okay, because, you know, your father along in that than your parents. But you want to know what, sweetie, we're supposed to be. Yeah.

Because we're better than our parents and our children are going to be better than us and their children are going to be better than us. And we want that for everybody. Okay, now I'm serious. You take it. Well, that's important stuff. And I think that's a part of, you know, for people that we talk. I know we've had a little bit of our exchange about it.

part of that spiritual journey too. It's a part of it's like it's part of our grounding is that acceptance of all as is. We can't change anything of the story and the path that led us to where we are today. We can just embrace today because, you know, yesterday's gone. Tomorrow's unwritten. But like here and now, this conversation in the present. This is the only guarantee that we have. So, you know, it's like I'm proud of you for being able to be at a point. Just like, I just, I love my parents. Yeah. It's not the way I wish it would. I mean, how it is for me. I know it's how it was for you, but it's like, just love as is.

Because it's really all we get. How did you get sober? I ended up getting sober because, I mean, I tried a couple times. And it just didn't work while I was like, okay, I'm going to try today. I'm going to try this. And I'm going to try to go to A, A, and I would go and I'm like, what the fuck? I'm like, me here. I don't belong here.

I'm fine. I'm fine. And, oh, man, it wasn't until I got into a really bad car accident. Were you drinking? Yes. Wow. I was drinking. Did you hurt anybody?

I was drinking all night the night before. And the next day, I was hung over and I did the day. I went to a bar, took a shot and started driving back home. I had a friend with me that day, too. In the car. Yes. Did you hurt anybody? I did. I did. I didn't, I didn't, you know, kill anybody, but that's why I got pushed more toward, like, getting sober. I didn't get sober because that, that accident happened in November. I didn't get sober until March.

Okay. So that's how long it took. How long do you have sober now? It's going to be three years in March. Okay, so it's three years ago. Yeah. I'm sorry. I interrupt. And it's okay. It's, so this. This. car accident, I was, I ran a couple red lights and I ended up pitying this woman. And so I got out the car and I told my friend, I was like, what am I going to do? I want to go to jail. He's like, what are you doing? I was just like, so I got out of the car on his side and randomly, I don't know where this random person came, but he's like, someone should help the woman out in the car because it was super foggy. You couldn't even see the lights. And,

So I got out of my car or and to help her out of hers. And she, she was talking to me in Spanish. And she's just like, what happened. Like, what happened? Like, she was just startled, you know, and I took her out of the car and I just was telling her, I'm so sorry. I said, pardon me. Like, so I forgive me, forgive me.

I was like, pardon me. It's my fault. And I was helping her out of the car and I sat her down on the curb and I look around it and my friend was gone. He had left me. there. So I was like, you've got a lot of good friends. Yeah, I didn't know how to choose them. Yeah. And so then I called my boyfriend. I said, oh my gosh, I don't know what I'm going to do. I just got into a car accident. The cops are going to

come around. I was probably going to go to jail. And he said, who the hell was that guy in your car? No, he knew I was out there. Okay. Yeah. But that's not as funny. And it was, so this is, okay, this whole story is so, I don't even. These stories are so hilarious. Now that I tell them, they're just so funny. But he's like, where did Marco go? And he's like, I told them how I was like, he left. He said, okay, well, if the cops come tell him he was driving.

And I said, okay. That is awesome. That is awesome. Right. Yeah. Is that your current boyfriend? Yes. I like him.

Yeah. And he's actually the reason I got, or one of the biggest reasons I ended up getting sober. But so that day he saved my. So the cop showed up and I started selling the story. You know, I was just like. So my friend was here. He was the one driving. He left.

I don't know why he left. Oh, my God. What happened to him? So they had a warrant out for his arrest for a felony, hit and run. Funny. Yeah. And so this lady ended up going.

Hold on one second. Okay. Hey, it's not happening to you. Okay. Calm down. Okay. The guy left her. He deserves it.

Go on. So, like, that moron left her. Yeah. How old were you? 28. Yeah, yeah. 28, you're a little bit. But he's leaving the scene of an accident, regardless.

He's still got his liability driving or not. No. I mean, it's not as bad of a situation, but you're not supposed to leave a scene of an accident if you're involved as a passenger. He's not involved. He was the passenger. He's a victim.

He's got to stick around. If he's to do? I don't think so. Anyways, go ahead. Wilson could be wrong, but if he might have a roof for it. I don't say. No, let's just argue all day. So I'm sorry.

Back to the funny. Go on. Okay. So the warrant didn't happen until after. Of course. Yeah, yeah. So my boyfriend had to pick me up and all that. We cleared that up.

And I went home and he's just like, we need to. He's like, you're coming to my place because if the cops find out that you were the one driving, they'll come and get you. And he's like, all right, get a bag. I really like him. Go on. And so I got a bag and I went to his house. and my friend who had left me there, he texted me. He's like, why did you lie?

You told them that I was driving. He's like, you put my life in danger and all this and that. And I was just like, oh, my gosh, shut up. I was like, you were the one buying me drinks last night. He actually was telling me he's like, oh, let's get a room and this and that. I was like, I'm not getting a room with you, bro. I need to go to my boyfriend. We're doing something tomorrow.

And I ended up drinking more. We ended up passing out on the car, but, you know, it's... She's trying to sleep with her. Yeah. Pumper full of cocktails. Something. She gets into an accident. Yeah.

You know what? It's bad. But it's not selling crack to children back. No, it's not. It's kind of the dude's karma, too. It was like, you knew that your friend had a man. And there you are trying to do some nefarious stuff. Now, this is a perfect example of friendship.

Okay? we're co-signing all your bad behavior. Yeah. Right. That's what friends do. Okay. Move along. So then I was like, I felt, I felt bad because I was like, okay, this guy has a family.

We, at the time, I had just left the job I was working at. I was working at an animal hospital for like five years. And I was actually drinking on the job and doing cocaine on the job. Do you shoot any of the animal tranquilizer? I did not. They had cameras everywhere. I don't think there was any way I could do that. Oh, my God.

There's definitely a way they can do that. I'm not smart enough to do that. I could not. There's no word. If I had a nickel for every veterinarian that I've treated, I'd be living in Lower Bella. I'm not even kidding. That's hilarious. Oh, my gosh.

So he was a coworker of mine from that hospital. And so he called or he didn't call me. He texted me, right? And I was just like, I need to tell the truth. I called the officer who was on my case and I told him, you know, the story. I said, hey, sir, I, you know, I wanted to tell you actually that I was the one driving. And he was like, oh my God. He's like, why did you lie?

Who did you tell this to the police officer? The one who had wrote down the report and all that stuff when he got there. I called him and I told them the truth. I said, I was the one driving. And I said, I said, it wasn't him. And he said, why did you lie? I was like, I was scared. And I was like, I just got in a car accident.

My friend just left me there. The woman, she was hurt. She'd only speak Spanish. So I had to translate for her. And, you know, and he's like, he's like, he's like, you were drinking, huh? And I said, yeah. He's like, I could smell it on your breath when I was talking to you. And I was like, oh, my God.

And he's like, yeah, I hope you and your lesson. He's like, because you could have killed somebody. You could have killed your friend. You could have, you could have died or everyone could have died, you know? And I was just like, man, he's right. And he's like, well, he's like, well, now I'm going to have to figure out what I'm going to do because we already had sent out the paperwork for your friend for the felony warrant. So we're going to have to do something and give you something.

I don't know what ended up happening. I think they ended up giving me a ticket for like resistance of arrest or something like that. So then I had to go to court for that. And I texted my, not my friend anymore, but that guy I said, amen, like I just want you know, I ended up calling the office. or I told them the truth. And I know that you have kids and stuff. I know you don't deserve that. I said,

but this is the end of our friendship. We're just, you know, you go our separate ways. You do your thing. And I'm going to do mine. And then he's like, sure,

that that was it, right? And so I went to court for that. And they had assigned me to do AA meetings. And I, what else did I do? When did you realize you could sign your own cards? I didn't. I actually went.

Do you know, it's funny, nobody figures that out. Nobody. No. And you people don't know what I'm talking about. Go on. Yeah, so. I mean, we could expect so. No.

No. That's not. Go on. So after AA, I ended up getting my case dismissed. And months later, I actually recently, a couple months ago, that guy messaged me. Because I had blocked him on social media, he had sent me an email. email and he sent me like an apology pretty much. He was like, hey, I just wanted to say, I'm so sorry about everything and,

uh, this and that. And, and, you know, he's like, I know it was crazy and we were just, you know, walling out. And I was just like, yeah, man, like, it's cool. He's just checking to see if you're still single. This guy's 15 minutes are up. I think actually he has a girlfriend now and like he's in a happy relationship. Oh, he's got a girlfriend.

but you had a boyfriend and it didn't keep them from trying to get a room. Right. Okay. It doesn't matter that he's had a girlfriend. I believe that he's probably also trying to be a better person himself, which is why he decided to, if he said, an email. How sweet of you to think that. Okay.

Well, I think as long as he's like, that's it and it's cool and you're like, thank you. And then it's like from there no more contact, then yes. But if it's like, and we should get together for coffee. Oh, no, no, no. And actually, you know, it's interesting. I actually sent him. a link to one of my podcasts that I did and I talk about the story. So I said, hey, you should listen to this podcast because I talked about that night.

Did you ever go to rehab? You didn't. So it clicked. How did it click? Do you start going to AA? Did you start, do you have a therapist? Like, what did you do to get the support to stay sober? You were drinking every day.

Yeah. And Coke. Oh, yeah. The Coke was also every day. Every day? I was clearing like a, what is this? A nine? What an eight ball?

An eight ball. How much is that? It's three and a half grams. During this time, I had nothing. Nobody. All I had was him. And he can just see that I was just suffering that I was in, but I wasn't okay.

And one day he just said, let's go to church. And I was like, I don't want to go to church. I never gone. I was like, I literally gone to church like a, handful of times throughout my life. I was raised Catholic, but we never really went to church, you know? So we, I went with him.

We went to a Christian church. And I don't even think we went the first time. I think we watched it online the first time. And whatever, you know, the pastor was saying that day was just like full on. Like, I felt like he was talking to me. And I started crying. And I was just like, what the, you know? And then the next time, the next week, we watched it again.

And then again, the next week, watched it again. And then it wasn't until we went in there. I think it took every time I went into church or watched a service, I cried every time at the beginning. I was crying every service for the first month or two. And then when Lent came around, Lent. So I was like, okay, am I ready? Am I going to do this?

So I did it. I gave up drinking for the 30 days. Is that 30 or 45 days for that? I think it's 30 or 40, 40? It could be 40. I can't remember. I don't either. We should talk about this for another 10 minutes because it's riveting.

Yeah, right? After the 40 days, then I was like, okay, if I did this for God, I want to do this for myself now and I continued and I never stopped. God wanted you to do that for. you not for him. Yeah. Yeah. And then around six months that I was sober, is when I started to share my sobriety story on

TikTok. Really? And then I started to grow an audience after that on TikTok because of that. Hey, you got a lot of followers, right? Oh, yeah. Somewhat, yeah. What would you tell these kids today? We're running around buying drugs on the street.

To the kids out there, man, I feel that I think there are already kids or younger generations who are not drinking anymore, who have access to so much more information now than what we had back then. Sure. I think just, man, just don't do it. It's just not worth it. It's not worth it. the pain that it's going to cause your family, if you're gone. That's what I stopped doing cocaine because I was like, I can't do that to my family or the people that I love because I feel like I still have more to do here and just think about that. And if you're going through a hard time, you're supposed to be going through a hard time when you're young.

You don't know what the fuck is going on. You don't know what to do. We still don't know what to do. I'm 32 and I'm still trying to figure it out. And I would say stop putting pressure on yourself to figure it out. You just got to figure it out as you go, really. That's it's it. And yeah, don't do it because it's just not worth it.

Not worth it. Mr. Tate. Where can we reach you? Where can people find you? So you can find me with, if you search anything, either Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, YouTube. It's Crystal Aguirre. Spell it.

It's crystal with an eye. So it's supposed to be in Spanish like Gristal. It's not spelled with a Y. It's C-R-I-S-T-A-L. And then my last name is Aguirre. So it's A-G-U-I-R-R-E. Okay. Now, I need you to look into that camera.

Okay. And in Spanish, I need you to say, See you next Tuesday. We'll see you next Tuesday. See you next Tuesday. We're out of time. Please subscribe on YouTube, click the thumbs up and leave a comment. Please subscribe on Apple Podcast and Spotify and leave a rating and a review.

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