Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Baby-Break Clip Show #2

Episode Date: July 31, 2017

In this best of special episode we have a very special announcement plus highlights from classic Werewolf Ambulance episodes Pay the Ghost, Darkness Falls, Thirteen Ghosts and I Know Who Killed me. Thanks so much for listening and telling your friends about us. You are all the best! 

Hello and welcome to another special episode of wherewif ambulance. I am your solo host right now because we are still on baby hiatus. And on that note I should tell you some very exciting news. Katie and Rob are very happy to announce the birth of a beautiful baby girl. Katie and Rob are very happy to announce the birth of a beautiful baby girl named Lucy. Both Katie and baby are doing great. Fantastic. I went and saw them the other day, and they were both beautiful and doing great. So, yeah, we're very excited. I'm extremely excited for Katie and Rob and for my new friend Lucy.

That's so cool. What we're doing here is the special baby hiatus episode. We are going to give you some highlights from some old episodes to sort of keep you going while we're on hiatus. This time I went with a bit of a theme of ghosts, though the last movie kind of leaves that a little bit, but you'll see. So we're going to start off with one of my favorite intros to an episode and one of my favorite movies that kind of made us lose our minds, pay the ghost. So check this out. And if you like what you hear on this episode, go back and listen to these old episodes. There's more fun stuff in there that aren't in these little snippet episodes and there's there. there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's th.. th. T there. There's th. There's th. There's th. T there. T there. T. T. The's more thi. The's more thi. Thea. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi-a' thi-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s thi-s thi-s thi-s thi-sa-sa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-s tha-s and there's there's more you know knowledge and whatnot that we're dropping so Go back and give those a listen and Yeah, enjoy me the ghost and I'll be back after a lot

It is weird the data has a dick though Sorry, we've just spent the last like 10 minutes talking about data stick not 10 minutes five to 2, several, several minutes. Do people call it SNG or STNG? Star Trek Next Generation? I don't know. Star Trek and I don't know shit about Star Trek shit. I just know the data has a dick though? Who is he gonna fuck? I guess yar, I guess you are, yeah. Yeah. But before she got kicked off the show for posing in Playboy. Is that why?

They fucking kill her. I couldn't, spoilers for Star Trek Next Generation. I couldn't believe it though. I thought she would come back to life. No, her family demanded that she's part of Bing Crosby's. What? I think it was Playboy that she posed for and they were like, nope, you're done, you're out of showbiz. Who said that? Her family, we're just like... She's an adult woman.

You've embarrassed the family, you're gone. So what does she do now? the that thooo' tho' the 90s. Oh no, I don't think I want to see that. It's so good. Do they talk about Data's Dick? Because that's like where I'm out right now. Next episode, we'll talk about Wharf's Dick. Ooh, he can fuck you to death, though, is what I've heard. He says it though. He says it I can fuck you to death. But he says that he can't, he can only meet with Klingons

because he's too forceful or something. And I was like, Wharf, fuck you to death. It's just crazy. Like, we're supposed to be such a badass. All it is as good is ass kicked and get turned down for his ideas. He's like, I recommend we do this. And they're like, shut up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up the fuck the fuck the fuck thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu th. th. th. thu th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to f. to f. to f. to f. to f. to f. to f. to f. to f. to f. to f. to f. to f. to f. to f. to f. to f. to f. to f. to f. to f. to f. to f. to f. to f. to f. to f. to f. to f. to f. to f. to f. to f. to f. to f. to f. to to too too. too. too. too. too. to to to to to to to to f. to f. to f. to f. to this is our Star Trek for the Next Generation podcast. Love space. Where will of Starship? We built this city. Nicholas Cage, that woman from the walking day. Yeah, Laurie.

Carl. I don't know what that means. One dude just yells his wife and kid's name over and over. He's always distressed about something. Well, it's a distressing thing. I also really don't like the walking dad's going on. It's just like, I dipped out after the second season. Yeah, I don't think I've made it through the second season. Well, it just, well, whatever? And he's neglecting his child.

Your dad is the worst, he doesn't love you, he just loves the work. Which is basically the first act of this movie. He's married to Laurie. Yep, that's her. And they have this child. And she has one face in this movie. Distressed? Distressed, but like, I don't know.

Well, there's the scene early on where she touches Nicholas Cage's weener, which was uncomfortable. I missed that. They get into bed and she's like, if you miss Halloween tomorrow, if you don't carve that pumpkin with it and tomorrow, he's gonna disown you. And he says, well, you're gonnaown me, and then hands, lips under the covers, and he goes, ooh, ooh, ooh. Ew. I started thinking about Datastick again.

I'm screaming. He tells his wife, he's got tenure, she's excited. They're gonna fuck later. We need to celebrate later. Ah, oh, oh, I. I. they's. I, they's. I, they're they're they're they're they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, they's, they, they, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, need to celebrate later. Ugh, oh, oh. I don't care if they're the most beautiful people on the planet. Hearing people talk about how they're going to have sex makes me ill. Do you know what I mean? Keep it to yourself.

I just don't want anybody to fuck. I just think nobody should fuck. What about data and asha Yarn? Okay, they can work. Well, like, why does he have a dick, though? Like, who put it there? And what were they thinking he was going to do with it? And is it metallic? Oh, thrown. Well, he's wearing that spandex suit, you know, like, okay, all right.

You know, future space clothes suck. Yeah. I'm not into them. Apparently, well, never mind. I'm not even going to get into this. He looks like a Christopher Walk and Wax figure. Christopher Waxin. I gotta get one. I gotta get one in. That's your one.

That's it. I hope you would like that one, because that's what you're going to. So he rides the bus to to the bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu the bus the bus the're gonna say. So he rides the bus to the building that he needs to go see Because it's got pay the ghost written on the outside of it What did the like the industrial building that all the like dreadlocked Stephen Tyler lived? Oh really I went with the Rosta Harry Dean Stanton That's better that's better and I'm jealous. This guy is fucked up looking. He says to cover the fire, you cover it. You know, you do what he tells you.

Yeah, he just goes down into these homeless people's home and starts going, what's pay the ghost mean? What's paying the ghost? What is pay the ghost? What is it? I don't know. It sounds like one of those shitty metal corvans. Yeah, it absolutely does. You like see alternative press in the borders or whatever and you're like, look at these dildos. On the warping tour. On the warping tour.

I started writing different titles for this movie, which I have literally no recollection of doing, such as pay the goats, slay the ghost.. I th th th th th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the ghost. I th. I th. I the ghost. I the ghost. I th. I th. I th. I the ghost. I th. I tho. tho. tho. tho. th. thi tho. tho. tho. tho. th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It is th. It th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It's the the. It's the. It's the. It's the is to thea to to to thea to to to to to thea thea to to thea thea thea. It's thea. It's the for this movie, which I have literally no recollection of doing, such as pay the goats, slay the ghost, play the coast. I don't know what I meant by that one. Just so fucking bad. It's just like they, no one, no, no fucks were given in the making of this movie. No. I looked at the awards one for and all the awards were won by the child, but I have in my notes that the child was a terrible actor. There's an award? Yeah. Someone got a not for this movie I hope. Yeah the child won awards. No weird. Not like Academy Awards like you know Poo-Dick Awards. Which is our new awards show and why have we never done an awards show called

Poo-Poo-Dick Awards? And for best butt acting? Yeah. Nominate categories for us to do Poo-Dick awards on our th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. thi. ti. ti. tip. tipe. tipe. tipe. today. th. th. th. th. the Nominate categories for us to do Poo-Dick Awards on our Facebook page, EMTs. Because this could be really funny. Oh, maybe, yeah, for the 100th episode we could do Pup-Poo-Dick. Pup-Di-Diawards. We'll think about it. I don't want to promise anything. We're real bad of planning things. You're lucky thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. too. too. too. too. too. too. toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. thae. t. t. tos. You're lucky you've gotten 74 episodes out of us honestly. We watch terrible movies for a job. Oh and then we go to work also for our job. Yeah, we

watch good movies too. I watch TV too. I watch Star Trek Next Generation. It's not really a job. I treat it. I treated his one. Data's dick. Oh god like just think about it. How does he get a boner if he doesn't have feelings? You know what I mean? Do you just push a button and it's like, hmm? I just want to talk to Gene Roddenberry on the phone. I think you might be dead. Yeah, you better get a ghost phone. That's our new movie, ghost phone. Are you scared of the tooth fairy? Yeah, me neither. Here's some stuff from the Darkness Falls episode. Also, Stephen Kang, if you're listening, let's kickstart this project.

You'll see what I'm talking about. Oh, and this is a town called Darkness Falls. Fucking worse. No town anywhere is named that ever. Also no editor to go, ah, Bob, could you uh, I don't know, maybe call it like, I don't know, shit falls and then later people call it Darkner's Fault. Like, and where the lady live was called Lighthouse Point, because she lived by the Lighthouse. Like, it's just, the writing is so bad. That's the folklore is that after she has burned at the stake, she cursed the town.

And when a child loses their final tooth, the final baby tooth, she comes to them. She comes to them, and if they look her in the face, she kills them. Why? Because as my note says, this is some Bush League bullshit. Yeah, it really is. You know what else? Like, this is largely irrelevant to my criticism of the movie, which is vast and comprehensive. Baby teeth? The baby teeth process is like the grossest of nature's wonders. I was going to ask you if you miss

that, because I totally miss it. You miss losing teeth. You miss losing teeth. No no I don't miss losing teeth I miss losing a tooth knowing there's a buddy coming right up behind it I think I always as a warrior from the life thought maybe there weren't any under there I also had a very bad tooth experience as a child where I was I was running on a gym floor when I was like three or four and I fell and shipped my front tooth and it was like to fulf I'm a the the the the the th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. th. th. I was th. I was liked. I was liked. thrown. I was. I was. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was liked. I was liked. I was liked. I was liked. I was liked. I was liked. I was liked. I was liked. I was liked. I was liked. I was liked. I was liked. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tooth and it was like so fucked they just pulled it. Oh wow. But it was a baby tooth but the adult tooth wasn't ready to come in so I was missing that front tooth for like fucking years. You must have been adorable. Uh no I was never a cute kid. That's why I'm so funny now is because I spent so much of my life being ugly. It's true I'll show you photos I don't want to regain it because there's not a backup tooth but I miss that feeling of being able to loosen that tooth

until it's just about ready to pop and then just rocking that for like three days. That's nauseating. Some people have a third set of teeth I think where they lose their adult teeth and then get adult teeth to sharks have. They have like two or three rows. Wow. Yeah. I can't believe I didn't learn that from the documentary of the last shark that we did several months ago. That means they would have had to have bestowed any information on you. They just told us about Jaws. Literally, 75% of the script is just the people's names. They keep saying each other's names over and over. Kyle, Michael, Kyle, Larry, Larry, Larry, Michael, Caitlin, Caitlin, Michael, Kyle, just that's the entire,

I just, I'm gonna get in trouble because that was probably copyright the script. So this kid's losing his tooth and his not girlfriend, and his not girlfriend, just walks in his window and kisses him after he loses his goddamn too. There's blood in his mouth. Don't kiss that blood mouth. He's also th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, tho, tho, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the, I, the, I, the, the, the, they. they. th, th. th, th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's toge, toge, toge, toge, toge, that's, that's, that's, thi, I's, thi, touch. There's blood in his mouth. Don't kiss that blood mouth. He's also at a weird age of like sneaking out for co-ed swimming and losing a tooth. I find that very like just, ugh. This movie makes me feel like I could be an actor. The

acting in this movie makes me think like, I could do that. You know, it's bad. The guy who wants to fight Kyle. The guy who wants to fight Kyle. The guy who, you know, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the th. I th. I the th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I the th. I th. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the th. I t. I t. I tod, tod, tod today, to today, to toda. I'm too. I'm toda. I'm too. I too. I too. I too. I today. I todman Attorney at Law goes up to the bar and says, do you reckon a guy over there? It's Kyle who, you know, his mom did remember it? And they instantly enrages this biker dude. She's like, well, I gotta kill him now. Why? Nope. Were you friends with his mom? He's like, thrown? And then Larry's like, what are you doing here? to ask that? to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. they. to. they. to. they. they. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to, to, to, they. they. they. they. to? they. they. they. they. they. they. It's, they. It's, they. It's, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, the the the the the the toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. I. I. I's instantly. I's instantly. I's instantly, toe. I's instantly, instantly, toe. I's instantly, they. I's instantly, they and asked him to come. Because when he shows up, she's like, oh my god, you came. I'm so glad you came. Larry was like, oh I can't believe you actually came. Don't ask him what he's doing there. She asked him to come. You knew that. You were there. You were just there. Two scenes. I'm sorry. Larry has feelings for Caitlin. I think that's their hea hea hea. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry. Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, Larry, they, they, they, they, they, they. to. they. to. they. to. th. they. th. th. thi. Larry, th. Larry, the, the, together. I think they're together. Okay. Well, his feelings have been justified. Yeah, yeah, I think that's his girlfriend.

But she's in me like, mmm, Nayan Nettled is back. Let's do this. I'm gonna get all up on that five head. Okay. So he lives in Las Vegas, which admittedly one of the brightest tha. thiii. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's is thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's is that's is that's is that's is that's is that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. the. the. the. the. thean. Okay. So his apartment is filled with lights. Okay. In the 12 years that he has not been murdered by the tooth fairy. Yeah, like I'm fully aware that I'm lazy. I'm giving up on that shit like year three. I'm going to sleep in the dark and the television on the lake. You're just like take methe battery, throwing out the battery cartridge, plugging another one in and it's like, that's a flashlight. You're not the rambo of flashlights, my man? He kind of is, he's the rambo of flashlights. He kind of is this like

traumatic experience, now he know. He's in the woods, tumbling around. He's the Rambo of Flashlight. So the beginning of the movie is Darkness Falls, First Blood. Yeah. And the rest of the movie is Rambo. Somebody gets Stephen Kang on the phone because, and this movie has a magic child, so he'll love it. Stephen Kang's Rimbu. The doctor for Michael decides the best way to cure this child to to to to put him in a sensory deprivation tank. But he's like the alternative is that we could do medication and therapy and this is his sister who's I guess his guardian

Caitlin is like no no no we're not doing that like that is clearly the right thing to do. If you're in charge of a child and your choices are put them in a sensory deprivation chamber or medication and therapy. In what world do you select the chamber? In what world? I couldn't, I am astounded. A studio was like, let's make this movie, let's make it. Altered speech is really well. You thought in a movie theater. I gave this movie money. You gave this movie money. You gave this movie money. I rented it on-demand when it was first out,

thinking it was 28 days later. Those movies aren't even close in their titles. I know, I don't know what her confusion was. Michael feels very close to Kyle for no reason. And, well, he knows that he knows because he's a magical child because Stephen Kang wrote Rimbo. Like the sentence that you just had made zero sense but it made more sense of this movie. Is this also where there's the cat scare where Caitlin sitting in the car and a cat just falls

from the sky onto the hood going, ah! When is the last fucking time that happened to you? I live with cats and that's never that......... the the the the the the the th. th. th. the th. th. the thi. thi. thi. the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. that's th. that's that's that's that's th. I's th. I's. I's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the t. te. te. te. toe. toe. toe. toeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeean. toeeat. toe. toe. to. t time that happened to you. I live with cats and that's never happened. Never. They don't just drop from the sky. I don't, I would love it if they did. The next note I have just says Tooth Fairy, super strength, Dwayn the Rock Johnson. Can you explain that? Because Dway in the rock Johnson was the tooth fairy in the movie. Yeah. Was she was she super s super s super s she s she super s she super s she super s she super s she super s she super s she super she super she super she super she super she super she super she super she super she super she super she super she super she super she super she super she super she super she super she super she super she super she was she was she super s she was she was she super s she was she super super super s she she she she was she she she she super s she was she was she was she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she's super she's super she's super she's super s super s super s super strong she's super strong super strong super strong s super strong. She's super strong. She seemed to be she just pick we up and broke their god damn next. Well then that's a funny joke. Did you see the tweet that someone posted that was new drinking game

every time Katie doesn't understand? I did. I responded that I wanted to play that game while we did the podcast but I would just forget everything. The doctor looks like Jared Foadwell from Subway. It was really upsetting. I was like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. to. t. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. th. the. the. th. th really upsetting. I was like you get away from that little boy. Oh, shit. So this movie is an American Australian film. I'm assuming it was shot in Australia. What? So this is when we realize that Michael's Australian. Michael's Australian? He goes, Caitlin, no. There's like 27 syllables in his no. So thii didn't think he had any lines other than Caitlin, Caitlin, there are literally points where he's just going, Caitlin, Caitlin, Caitlin, Caitlin, like that is the movie that they wrote and made and made.

Caitlin Noy. Sorry I was trying but really he really nailed the hell out of that no. I had that note followed by this is so dumb. I can't even, this is, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th. I'm sorry, I'm th. th. th. th. thi, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm, th. th. th. thi, thi, I'm sorry, thi, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. the. th. the. th. the. the. that no. I had that note followed by, this is so dumb. I can't even, this is, I'm sorry, get ready to drink babies because I cannot make sense of these notes. Yeah, tighten the rag around the leak? Oh, there's a generator that they're filled with gasoline and then when they try to start it, it's leaking. So the lights in the light in in in in in in in in in in in in in in the light in. They've the light in. They've the light in. They've the light and the light and the light and the light and the light. They've to go. They've tooth fairy who... Oh my god I'm back. Oh my god are you okay? And so it springs a leak and they can't do it and nine nennelts has to run downstairs and try to fix it while Matt the cop gets killed. Can I read my next note to you? Please. This is a modern-day Prometheus story except everyone has a low IQ and no charisma.

What am I doing with my life? Watching this movie? What is my doing? It's the holiday season I should have spent this time with my loved ones. I can't get it back. None, no, I'm sorry. What do you get when you combine Tony Shalub, Matthew Lillard, F. Murray Abraham, and 13 ghosts?

Oh boy. Hey Alan. Hey, Katie. How are you? I'm doing, I'm doing well. How are you? I'm all right. How was your day? It was pretty good. I'm still practicing my spelling of cryptochurium.

Oh good, I'm glad you've been working on it. So, and well, I was given homework and I try to be diligent. Yeah, well, you're a good student. Thank you. What did you have for lunch or breakfast? What did you eat today? Anything? I don't understand the question. What did you have for lunch or breakfast? What did you eat today? Anything good?

I just don't want to talk about this movie. I did make egg and cheese like McMuffin things for breakfast this morning. That sounds great. For my partner and I. Yeah, I want that. And then I, uh, what, I had a tofuerke and cheese sandwich for lunch. What kind of cheese pairs well with Schoferke? I did a Provolone. I love a Provolone. Mixes with everything. It's so nice. A little stinky though, a little on the stinky side. Yeah, it's all right. I had it on my cheese and egg this morning too, so you know I was really hitting the Provo. Proo. Provo. I, you know, and you?

Um, I had, um, a little burrito for breakfast this morning. You know, breakfast burrito, that'll be, that'll be, and big salad for lunch. I like that. Big salad. I'm an apple, like, theylip. Oh, look at you. You're a, you. you. the, you. the, you. the, you. the, you. the, you. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. you. th. th. th. you. you. you. you. You're. You're. You. You. You. you. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. trying to keep snack in my desk drawer at work, but then I just eat them all in one day, so I need to like- Oh, you have that affliction too. Yeah, where if there's food you have to eat it.

I'll just put four cliff bars in my desk and I'll have them for the week? No, you'll have them for lunch today. So, what are you doing this weekend? Anything good? Well, right now I'm hanging out with my friend and talking about a movie called 13 Ghosts. No, no, I thought we were going to have fun. I thought this was going to be fun. The first note I have about this movie says, I already wish I was dead.

Holy shit. This guy directed Ghost Ship. No, he didn't. Why would we do this to ourselves? th? th? th? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th. th. th. thi thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi. thi. thi. thi. tho, thi. thi. thi. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to toeeea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. to. to. thi., he didn't. He did. Ah, why would we do this to ourselves? Why am I the worst at doing research? His next movie was Ghost Ship. That's why this fucking movie feels like Ghost Ship. He did two movies. No, he did the hunt for right. Oh, no, he did visual effects on the hunt for right. Well, that's fine. So we did direct to direct two to direct to direct to direct to direct to direct to direct to direct to direct to direct to direct to direct to direct to direct to direct to direct to direct to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to research at research at research at research at research at research at research at to to to to to to to to to to to to to do research at research at to do to do to do to do to do the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the the. the the. the. the. the. the. tooooo. toooo. to to god we've done his ove. What's his name?

Steve Beck? I remember talking about Steve. Yeah. Fucking Steve. Why didn't I look that up sooner? I don't know. I guess we did get that magic of me finding that out on the podcast. I bet you know what though? I bet in the ghost ship episode if you go back and listen to it we Goddame idiots. What a piece of shit? Seriously though, he's a piece of shit actor, or director. Yeah. He's a fine actor. He's better than Shannon Elizabeth, but that's not saying much. So they're like flat broke because their house burned down.

Because what they don't fucking homeowners? They didn't have life insurance on his wife, nothing. It's just like the house burned down. You can't even have a house without homeowners. I'm assuming they're spending all that money on the nanny, Maggie. Why do they have a nanny? I don't know. I don't know. Yeah.

There's a lot of, already this movie. And this child is school aged. He's in school all day. I'm so thi th thi sorry, I thi sorry, I thi thi. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I'm the the the th. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thin. thin. the thean thin. theananananananananananananananananananananann. I'm thin. I'm the. I'm thi. I'm th. I'm sorry I'm getting so indignant, but in my real life, I'm a financial advisor and so many things were wrong with this movie. How would you describe this house? Dick? Here's what happens. Should we get into this? Oh, sure, let's go.

Because I was like, the fuck is a black zodiac. Apparently it's a realish thing. I don't know. The internet seemed to have just broad opinions on it, and I didn't put more than three minutes into it. Were you on Stephen Beck. Dot com? Yes. So they say that there are, there's a thing called the Black Zodiac,

which is the film, but it's in the special features of the DVD. Oh, I should have. No. I printed it off of Wikipedia if we want to discuss them. Excellent. There's the first born son, which is the kid with the arrow through his head. Yeah.

There's the torso, which is the ghost of a bookie named Jimmy the Gambler Gambino. Come on! I know. The bound woman, I thought was pretty good too. Which one was she? She was the one that had like her arms. She was like hanging from the ceiling with her arms tied. Oh, okay.

Okay. The withered lover is his wife, which is like, I'm supposed to feel something. to, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to. the too, the too. too. the tooom? tooom? tooom? tooom? tooom? tooom? tooom? too. the too, the which is like, I'm supposed to feel something about it and I feel nothing. Her makeup job was terrible. It looked like she just had like cake frosting on her face. She looked edible. Yeah. The torn prince was kind of the 50s greaser guy.

I thought he was okay. I thought he was okay. Oh, yeah. The baseball bat. The angry. I thought she was good. I thought she was scary. Anybody naked walking at me with a knife is going to be creepy. Scary. Yeah. Like, uh, it follows really one for having so many naked people walking at me. Like, yeah. There's the pilgrimus, which I don't recall it. I don't, I have literally no memory of. Is that a, is she the one that was in stocks? No? Yes. Yes. She still has the pillories yolk locked around her. Okay. The Great Child and the dire mother, I thought we're scary.

They scared me. The Great Child has a tie-in with last week's movie trick or treat. How? He is the fat baby guy at the party. He plays a baby in the food. What fucking world is this guy living in? The one where he says, it's a living. See, Ernst Tarth is his name. Everything about this is depressing me.

There's the hammer, which is a blacksmith. That was the guy with the stuff the railroad's bikes you didn't like. God, so dumb. The jackal is the guy in the cage. Oh that was a dude, okay. Yeah. And the juggernaut. The juggernaut is a serial killer of enormous height and grotesque appearance. He looked like Mac to Knight from the McDonald's heads. Oh man he kind of did. I have the note what the fuck is that dumb looking ghost with all the spikes in his head. Yeah. Well, do you want to know what his back story is? Will that help you like him more?

No, I'm good. Do you, is it good? No. He's called the Hammer and he's got nails in his head. The hammer is the ghost of George Markley, a blacksmith who lived in a small town in the 1890s. He was wrongly accused of stealing and refused to leave town when threatened with exile. A gang led by his accuser hanged his wife and children. In revenge, George uses blacksmith's hammer to beat his accuser and the other culprits to death. The town's folk executed George by chaining him to a tree, driving road spiore the spikes into his body, Because that's what they would do. His ghost is still pierced... Yeah.

I didn't hate that. His ghost is still pierced with the spikes and wrapped in the chains and he wears the hammer in place of his missing left hand. This just reminded of one of the greatest things I've ever heard in my life. My friend Sam's, this was years and years ago. His, I think little sister was talking about the president who did the Gettysburg Address, who she knew as Hammerhand Plinkin. That's adorable. Hammerhand Plinkin.

That's so cute. That melts my cold black heart. I'm, this is a child, right? I wanted him to be a tag team partner with Rutherford B. Hayes in your ass. But that never happened. They're two of the black zodiac characters, I think. Hammer, hand, Plinkin. I don't know.

Oh boy, howdy. Tony Jolib is so sweaty in their splucing in their watertime. I bet he was like, stop it. They're like, maybe he was doing something they didn't like and they were spraying him with a water bottle like a cat, you know? Tony, get away from craft services. Your shirts barely fit. Pss, pss, pss, pss, puss. You act, you act, you act right now? Tony Shaloove. He was are literally just, why are gears? Why are flares?

Are these ghosts batteries? I think these ghosts are going to Arby's. Like, I don't know, because they get released into the yard and they all just walk away and I was like, I'm going to Arby's. And I'm going to Arby's and I'm like, too long. I love Arby's. Oh, I love Arby's. We're getting an Arby's in my neighborhood. It's like, everyone's so mad about it. I'm like, Risphees.

I just want them curly fries and that Jumoka shake. And that horsey sauce. Oh, I love hoarse. I love it. Arby's this week's episode of Whereo Fam meals is not brought We have the meats. Tonight is going to be an ad break. You did it. I thought it came off pretty well. For Arby's.

If you not had diarrhea in a while, Arby's. I don't think our sponsors are going to like you talking about them that way. Oh, they don't matter. Let's just insist that we're sponsored by Arby's until they just give us money. Or five for fives. When I worked at Things Remembered in the Christiana Mall, things remembered as a little shop. No, I know. I feel like I would break paint with it pegged because it was 1995. Yeah.

No, I'm sorry, back up, reverse it. It was 1991, I was still in high school. Yeah. Yeah, but when I worked there, everyday lunch was Arby's. Oh yeah. If it wasn't Sabaro. Oh, Sibro is good, but it's so crazy. It's so disgusting. Both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both both I mean I eat and love them both. And I think Arby's

are sponsored by Arby's. I can't wait till we're sponsored by Arby's. Do you want to just like talk about Arby's to fill out this episode? We're just be swimming in those Jumoka shakes. Oh man I can't wait. All right. And to round out this episode we're going to do another one that has one of my favorite intros of just nonsense and it's a movie that Katie absolutely loved for very specific reasons, such as the star of the movie. One, Lindsay Lohan. This is I Know Who Killed me. And it's kind of a ghost maybe right? There's a sort of ghost involved. Hey Katie. Hey Alan.

Uh, I might look like your friend Alan. I'm not Alan. Oh, who are you? My name's Brock? Yeah, I'm a male stripper. Come from the bad side of town, moms and drugs and stuff. Oh, the moms and drugs and stuff side of the trucks, one might say. Yeah, but I'm just going to do this podcast with you because I'm going to assume the life of your friend down. Where's your hand? Oh, uh, your friend's trapped in a house somewhere and somebody's the other's the other's the other's somebody's somebody's somebody's somebody's somebody's somebody's somebody's somebody's somebody's somebody's somebody's somebody's somebody's somebody's somebody's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the hands and I'm losing him at the same time. I'm Brock. Hey Brock, nice to meet you.

What's sh-oh? Oh, that's real messed up. Yeah, it is. I can't keep this going, I'm so sorry. That's fine. That's better than the intro I had planned which was, oh no, my fingers gone. Okay, let's get into it. Let's get into it. I'm like shaking. I gotta preface this with, I love Lindsay Lohan. Oh sure.

I love her. She just feels... Mean girls, fucking A, man. So good. But she also feels to me, and this movie was made during like the beginning of her downfall. She was in rehab for a large portion of the filming and then during the promotion she got a D.Y and had to cancel a bunch of public appearances and things like that. So the thing, I just have this feeling about her that she would be like the girlfriend that you'd go out with and you'd get so fucking drunk and you'd end up on the sidewalk eating like chicken wings and pizza and throwing up and she's laughing at you. And then the next morning you wake up and you're so fucking hungover and you're like that, Lindsay Lowhand. And that's a friend you need at some points in your life.

I just really feel like I want to be her friend. But there's also got to be times where you get that text question to go, I fucking can right now. It depends on where you are in your life life, I thia life, I thia life, I guess. So I just have this real affinity for Lindsay Lohan. She's wonderful in this movie. She's so bad. The next scene she's playing the piano with her piano teacher and he's like, you're going to win the next young artist competition. You've already won it once. I just don't want to play piano anymore. Yeah. I gotta focus on my writing. What?

Lindsay Lohan? What? I guess the opening credits are over Lindsay Lohan stripping and blood pouring down the stripper pole. How did we, how did we, how did that? That's the first of like four times we see her strip. Oh, God. Okay. Her piano tea teaers wearing wearing sunglasses inside and a bright blue pinky rain. But they were, I thought they were like transition lenses that just weren't flipping.

Oh, maybe. It was real bright in that room. And he's like, he just can't fathom that she would not want to be in the young artist competition. Yeah, it's important. It's important. And she's already won it. So why not win it again? I don't know. I don't know. It doesn't matter. The next note I have to have to young artist competition where the nuts on that hairless cat are the most terrifying thing in this fucking movie. What?

And they show that cat for no reason. That cat serves no purpose. Its genitals are just like. It looks like the rain guard you would put over the tire on your bike here. It's just like gigantic. Like an awning for its behol. It's just crazy. It's this gross hairless cat and it's wearing a blue collar, which is important to know. For some reason. Yeah, we'll get into it. We'll get there. Where do they get these teens that play our friends? They are so shitty.

Like when they go to- They at least look like teenager. That's true. They look like babies compared to her. When they go to meet up in front of the movie theater, they're like if you're late, I am not screaming for you, okay? Just know that. Alan!

It's a thing I sometimes want to do in at like a grocery store if I lose from Rob. And I just don't feel like looking for him. It's just like throwing my head back and me like, Rob! There's definitely points where he's sort I'm down on the ground. I'm done. Done. Then it cuts to a completely gratuitous strip club scene. Oh, shit.

She's terrible as a stripper. Like, I don't know. There's no sexuality whatsoever. She takes that guy's cigarette. Even her vagina smokes how much Lindsay Lohan loves to smoke. She definitely did that, right? He sniffs it. He sniffs it.

Vaginas don't smoke, Lindsay. I love what she was down on all fours right before the vagina cigarette scene. She's right up against the pole and just like bumps her butt hole. Yeah, I that was incomprehensible, like, our dude's into that? I thought maybe she just had an itchy butt hole. And let's see if they knock this out. That's like what the cat does when they got worms, you know? It's like, I don't know.

Oh, God. Oh, I was so fucking confused. I felt like I was black out drunk while I was watching this movie. It was four o'clock in the afternoon. I was not drinking. No, no, maybe you should have been. Maybe it would have made more sense. There's like a perfect equilibrium of drunk in this movie making sense. So she goes back to her new parents house.

They're not her parents. And she's just insisting she's Dakota Moss stripper, daughter of crack lady. Completely of strip teas. Yeah. Tea, about Strius. Yes. And she meets Audrey's boyfriend, or Aubrey's boyfriend. And immediately... He brings her a bunch of blue roses.

Yeah. Which she says, Ma, or Julia, whatever her name is, Julia. the blue roses in some water. Bitch, she says, she's a blue roses. Yeah. Which she says, my, or not Julia, whatever her name is. Julia. Put these blue roses in some water. Bitch, I can see they're blue. You don't have to tell me. You're really driving at home. Me and Jared are going upstairs. She immediately starts making out with this kid, this fucking nerd. Because she's slutty, I guess. And then he's not a nerd. He's a football player. To prove that she is not Audrey. Aub. Audrey. Audrey. Audrey. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's the the blue. She's the blue. She's the blue. She's the blue. She's blue. She's blue. She's blue. She's blue. She's blue. She's the blue. She's blue. She's blue. She's blue. She's blue. She's blue. She's blue. She's blue. She's blue. She's blue. She's blue. She's blue. She's blue. She's blue. She's blue. She's blue. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's the. She's the. She's the. She's the. She's. She's the. She's the. She's the. She's. She's the. She's the. She's the. She's the. She's. She's. She's. a nerd. He's a football player. To prove that she is not Audrey. Aubrey. Aubrey. She fucks him and then says, did Aubrey ever fuck you like that? Did I ever fuck you like that? It was just like, this is the grossest old man fantasy of a movie. We've done, um, like maybe the pit surpasses it.

Oh my god, yeah. But this is so like, oh come on. It's like supposed to be a weird comedic relief scene where the mom is downstairs in the kitchen listening to them. Yeah. Like lady, just go outside. You don't have to be right there. Get better insulation.

It's like, this is night house. Also walk upstairs and go knock at the fuck off. Yeah, this is your house, but like, oh yeah. And for some reason, it's midday. It's clearly midday. The room is bathed in blue light. Why? Well, everything in her room is blue. Do I, this is a bit vulgar. Do you think the robotic hand was involved in any of this? A robotic H.J? I know, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I, I, I don't, I, I, I don't, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, it, it, it, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. th. th. th. th. th. It, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, that, th. It's, that, that, that, th. It's, th. It's, this. A robotic H.J. maybe?

I don't know. I don't know. I felt like she probably took them off. No. No. No. Here's what happens. The titular line.

Tell me. Oh, yeah. She goes to the cemetery. I'm not sure why. Maybe she's a vision or something. And she looks at a grave that says Aubrey Fleming, but then it morphs to say Jennifer Tolan. She's a Jennifer Tolan's grave, and she turns around and she looks at the dad and she says, I know who killed me.

Why would she say that? What sense does that make? It doesn't, what does it mean? I can't. First of all, she's been very adamant that she is not dead. And then how does she know? She couldn't remember what her actual line was, but did remember what the movie was called. They were like, she's like,

line, and nobody said anything, and she was like, I know what you did last summer. In another instant she would have turned around and gone, Star Wars. I would love a remake of Star Wars with Lindsay Lohan. I know what you did last summer. It's a great film. The Shining.

Oh, it's so stupid. So stupid. So she says that line. It makes no sense. But somehow she knows who has Aubrey. And she begins to panic because she can't breathe. So that means that Aubrey can't breathe in a blue glass casket. Oh my god, yeah. We're th, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she th, she th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that's that's thi thi thi thi that's that's that's thi thi thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. That's. That's. That's. That's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. theat theat theat theat theat theat theat theat theat theat theat've seen Aubrey being buried in a blue glass casket. Oh my god, yeah.

Wearing like a prairie dress. Yeah. Like, okay, so their whole lives then has like, like when Aubrey had the flu, was Dakota just fucking burfing? Like, she had cramps when Aubrey had diarrhea. Yeah. When, when Dakota's just like fucking all these people was Aubrey like, ah! Like what? What in what world does any of this make any fucking sense? You could write it down on a piece of paper and make a movie and have, I just don't understand? I just don't understand. And I just don't understand.

You guys know when you're just having those like crazy orgasms to come out of nowhere? I don't know what you're talking about. What are you talking about? What are? th? th? th? th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th like th like th like thing about? I th like th like thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the the the the the the the thi like like thi like thi like thi like thi like thi like thi like thi like thi like thi like thi like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to to toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo their the the orgasms to come out of nowhere. I don't know what you're talking about. What are you talking about? Because this is reinforced by the video of them being at the beach and one of them cuts themselves and the other one starts yelling. So that means literally like every time you, one of them stubbed a toe, the other one was like, motherfucker. Oh, why you know what th and thah thah thah th. thi th. th. thi, you thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thus thu. thi. thi. tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they's they's they's they're they're they're they're they're they're thi. thi. thi. tha. tha. tha. toeea. toea. toea. toea. toea. they're tha. they're they're tha. tha., oh my God, you have to be fucking kidding me. You know when you get this, like, phantom hot soup feeling in your mouth? You know when the roof of your mouth just peels off from being burned even though you haven't had any hot liquid in it?

What the fuck? Okay, okay, okay. Oh god. Oh, God. okay. Okay. Oh God. So that's gonna be it for this episode. Thank you so much for downloading this and listening. Thanks to everyone who's reached out to us during the hiatus. You know, posting on social media and sending us emails, keep sending us recommendations because we're gonna need stuff to do when we get back to this. So thank you to everyone who sent us recommendations. Editing these just makes me so excited to get back to doing regular episodes and hanging out with Katie again and hanging out with you guys. So thanks for much for listening.

Thanks for much for telling your friends, spread in the word about us. We back in two weeks with another best to thoe and I'll let's th....................... I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll let the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. th the. the. the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. to th. th. th.... the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the thea the the the the the the the the thean thea. thean thea. to to thea. to the stand at that point. You guys are great. Please wish Katie all the best as I am doing and so excited for them. Glad that everyone is healthy and doing awesome. So, thank you so much and thanks for listening to another episode of Weirwolfy Ambulance. Bye. you