Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - BONUS EPISODE #4- Titanic: corrections & retractions (1997)

Episode Date: May 13, 2020

Okay, so maybe no one played Leonardo DiCaprio's mother in this film, and maybe the character of Fabrizio isn't Irish. At least now we know, because we watched "Titanic"! Well, we sort of watched "Titanic." Please join us on the conclusion of our own personal overseas voyage with this episode of corrections and retractions from Bonus Episode #3. We hope you like it. 

Hi Alan. Hey Katie. How are you? I'm Pandemic. How are you? Pandemic? Pandemic? Pandemic. Pandemic. Pandemic. I hope that our listeners look back on this as our lovably Zaney period. I hope that our listeners look back on this as our lovably zany period. Because today we're going to describe the plot of Titanic. Having seen it, unlike the last episode where we described it just like to see. Well I've seen half of it, quarters two and four. Alan has seen half of it, quarters one and three. I have to say, quarter two to quarter

four, like, I can't believe there was anything in between them. Like, I don't know how it didn't just go straight from one to the other. I don't know why quarter three exists. Okay, I'm sorry you watched it. And also, I got none of the sex scenes. I got all the titties. I got all the fuking. I got the thi. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I th, I, I th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th, I, I, I, I, I th, I, also, I got none of the sex scenes. I got all the titties. I got all the fucking. I got none of the romance buildup. I got like, I saw them meet each other and then they were willing to die for each other and I saw nothing in between. That's the plot of this movie though.

That's what it is. It was like a fucking horror movie where someone's like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, th, th, th, I, I, I, th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, thi, I, I, I, I, I, I, I got, I got, I, I got, I, I, I, I, I, I the, I, I, I, I the, I, I the, I I I I I I I I I I I I I, I I I, I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the plot of this movie though. That's what it is. It was like a fucking horror movie where someone's just like, hey, hey, I'm gonna kill for you. I'm ready. I'm gonna do this. Amazing. Yeah. All right you want to kick us off with quarter one of Titanic? Yeah, let me just pour some coffee down my face. Good. Oh yeah, we're having an odd daytime recording. Yeah. Which I'm also drinking and so is Alan. It's currently 207 p.m. The sun is shining. We're drinking inside and doing a podcast. It feels good man. I'm basically at brunch because I'm drinking coffee and a beer at the same time. I am too because I'm having an

icy light mango which is beer and fruit. It's like a mimosa. This is the first mango I've had of the season and I have to say I am just overjoyed. It's summertime in my mouth. All right. So we start off with some flute music over top of archival footage of the launching of the Titanic, which is not archival at all. It was obviously shot at the same time as the fucking movie. And then I realized it's not a flute, it's a woman singing. Okay, okay.

Oh, hell yes. And I should say going into this, I was substance-free entering this movie. I was just watching it and I got tweaked on it, I think. We skip ahead, pass the archival footage to lots and lots of deep-sea exploration footage. If you wanted to see like a... Oh, the first 20 fucking minutes are just Bill Pullman doing his National Geographic thing. No way, wow, that's, that's, this movie's long. Yeah, it's like three hours and 15 minutes, right?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Did you learn anything from that? Was it sciencey? No? Did you learn anything from that? Was it sci? I mean, no. Other than like they were under water and how much pressure there was, which I didn't write

down, and I definitely said Bill Pullman and it's Bill Paxton. Yeah. I wasn't entirely sure, which is why I didn't correct you. My notes go from, hey, Bill Pullman's in this. Nope, it's Bill Bax, you fucking idiot. That's what I'm saying. The joke has become the reality. It's fucked. Yeah.

Yeah, for sure. Yeah. And he's, he's obviously, like, he's in this for the money, but he's making these like foe documentaries about everything. And he has a gold hoop earring, which I think is how you're supposed to know that he's in it for the money. Oh, I thought that's how you were supposed to know he's an artist. I saw him only very briefly at the end, so I did not get much of him at all.

I don't have a lot of notes like, is that Ed Asner when they would flash your weird guys on the screen? Shipwrecks are really cool to look at underwater though. It's really neat. Yeah. It's just such an eerie, eerie vibe. Yeah, especially when you see something that's like so recognizable as not being underwater, like that like, just looks, and it's covered in algae and fish and like.

It's your thing of loving things that are misplaced. You love a thing that's out of its place, yeah. I do, I too. There's a lot, there's like weird shots of like baby doll heads, like in the silt in the Titanic. Okay. This movie really like wants you to know that fucking children died. And it pushes that, it pushes that fact on you quite a bit. And it's a little bit aggravating in quarter four.

I mean, it's sad, it is sad. Yeah, yeah. You only have to tell me it's sad once, you know. I mean, if they don't pound you over the head with child death, how are you going to really absorb it? How am I going to enjoy my evening if I'm not pounded over the head with child death? I mean, really. So in these like TV spots that he's doing, they discover a safe, a box that has all these documents in it but no heart of the ocean, which is what th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, they, tho, they, they, thi, thi, they's, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be, and, and, and, and, and I I I I I I, and, and, and I I I I, and, and I I I, and I, and I's, and I's, and I's, thi, thi, thin, they, they's they's theyymea, theyymea, they me, theymea, they me, too, too, to me toe, to to to to thr in it, but no money and no heart of the ocean, which is what they're looking for. It's this diamond that's worth more than the Hope diamond.

Okay. Because of its relevance to the Titanic and all this shit. And they find a picture, a hand-drawn picture of a naked woman lounging on a couch. Hmm, who could that be? Hmm. And we flashed to the first thing that we definitely got wrong, which was we go to Rose's home, which is just a house.

She's not in a home. Oh, I was sure she was in a home. The house is filled with like a hundred years of this life well lived. And I thought at the end we saw all the photos of her doing rad shit, but right in the beginning they're just like, here's her with a horse, here's here with Roosevelt, here's her with like blah blah blah. Alan, do you want to know why you thought you saw those at the end? Yeah, because you do you do. They show they they was like, oh yeah, Alan was right about that elephant.

She's not shooting it, but she's there. It's probably like, they're probably like, you know, they're not going to remember three hours ago. Let's just show them again. Oh, and Bill Paxton's name is Brock Love It. No, it's not. I love it too. So they show, which I found very funny, they showed the picture of her, like the nude drawing of her on the TV, which

I was like, they wouldn't blur out those movies. I'm pretty sure National Geographic would blur out her movies. Hmm. I don't know. Who knows? But the whole lady's watching TV. Old Rose. Wait, this is on television? Yeah, it's on the TV. It's on like a little tube TV in her house. Oh, I didn't.

I see. I see. Okay, go on. And her very striking granddaughter is there. Yeah, she really is. I figured like they'd cast a gorgeous granddaughter to be like, oh yeah, good jeans. Yeah. Oh yeah. Because the woman, the old rose looks nothing like young rose.

Old rose is pretty dusty. She's pretty old. She's legit a hundred years old. Her hair. What is she doing with that hair? I feel like it not only was the actress, like an older actress, but they've like aged her up. They were like, you need to look like you crawled out of something to come into this.

Her hair looked like the older brother from the second season of Stranger Things that they introduced the like 80s muscle card.that's what her hair looked like. Not to diverge too much because this is going to take a while but that kid trying to do an American accent it's so good. I know he's so charming. He's like, core blimey. I mean, God damn it, anyway. So she sees her titties on the TV and is like, oh my god, those are mine. Those are my titties. I know those titties. And she's like, granddaughter, granddaughter, come see mama's titties on the TV. And the next shot is them like calling Bill Pax and being like, I'm sorry, I, I, I, I, I, I, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi, thi, thi-a, thimea, thimea, thi me, thi me, thi me, I'm, I'm, I'm, I thi me, I, I, I, I, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. C, th. C, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, see mama's titties on the TV. And the next shot is then calling Bill Pax and being like, I'm sorry, calling Brock Love It. And being like, yo, those are my titties.

I'm coming to your ship and hanging out. Yeah. Yeah, so she does. She does. And then, I assume, this is where the movie goes back in time? Yeah, after about 20 minutes of her walking around the fucking ship, they finally go back in time. Oh my god. Because she, Bill Paxman's like, hey, will you tell me your story? And she's like, hell yeah, let's do this.

She's like, how long do you have? Because this is going to be days. About three hours and 15 minutes. How long did we spend on the underwater underwater underwater 15 minutes? Okay, you have three hours. I love, like she starts telling her story and is able to picture perfect tell Leonardo DiCaprio story as well, which I really enjoyed. Okay, so was his mom in this movie because our friend Jeremy had just exited me and was like, there's no way his mom was in that movie? 100% not in this movie? I just didn't understand why you'd have a mom in the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie th th.. th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. tho tho thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to thi to to to thi thi thi to thi th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I to to to to to to thi. I to to thi. I to to thi. I to to thi. to to to to the to to thi to to te to tell to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I that movie. A hundred percent not in this movie. I just didn't understand why you'd have a mom in the movie,

but I didn't want to doubt your judgment. There is a mother of like some Irish kids that's played by the actress who played Vez-Gez and Aliens, who's also in near dark. Oh, okay, okay. She is a mother in this movie, but not his mother. And he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's not th. I th. th. I th. I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I th. I th. I th. I, I, I th. I, I, I, I, I, I th. I th. I, I, I th. I, I, I, I, I th. I, I, I th. I I, I, I, I, I th. I, I, I, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I was, I was, I was th. I th. I'm thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I didn't th movie, but not his mother. And he, he's not Irish. I got that 100% wrong because we first meet him. He's like, I'm going back to an America because I'm an American. His friend Fabrizio, also not Irish.

Also not Dominic Monaghan, I was so wrong. Well, there is Tommy who's their Irish friend. Oh, I never saw Tommy. Oh, I see Tommy at the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's that's that's that's that's that's that's I' I got that's I's I' I's I's I's I's I's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi. I's thi. I'm thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm tho-I's tho-I's tho-I's tho-I's tho-I's tho-I's thia' thi's thi. I's thi, there is Tommy who's their Irish friend. Oh, I never saw Tommy. Oh, okay. I see Tommy at the end of quarter four, never mind. Okay, yeah. I'll tell you about Tommy's feet. Okay. So, um, so we, we, we see, uh,

roses getting on the ship with her shitty mom. And their shitty fiance's butler is David Warner. I was so shocked it was David Warner. Yeah, you know I lost my mind. I know you did. I just have all caps, oh fuck, it's David Warner. He's great in this though. Oh God, if you ever need a lot in quarter two. Oh, does he? Yeah, yeah.

I would assume because by the time we see him in quarter two. Oh does he? Yeah yeah I would assume because by the time we see him in quarter three he's like full-blown evil. He is just a bad dude. You know what David Warner does really well is a lurk. He's a great lurker. Yeah. I can only think of one movie and people will probably correct me but the Omen is the only movie I can think of where he plays a good guy. He's the monk in a black death. That's right. That's like th. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I will like th. I will like th. I th. I will like th. I th. I will like like th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I th. I the. I'm like like like full full full full full full full full full full full th. I'm like full full full. I th. I where he plays a good guy. He's the monk in Black Death. Oh, that's right. That's right. I will correct you, sir.

Thank you. From a film we did four weeks ago, which feels like a year ago. Because I'm just thinking of like Time Bandits where he's the devil and then House of Wax and like a hundred other movies where he's just the bad thi bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad... th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I is th. I I is th. I I is th. I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th's just the baddest bad dude ever. He's got a good face for being a bad guy. He does, he does, for sure. I think that's why he's a great casting in the omen, because it's a good red herring.

Can we talk about Billy Zane's hair? Oh my god, please describe it to me and tell me everything you're thinking about it because it's so good. I I I I I I I I looks so much like hair extensions in my life, or not hair plugs. Yeah, it's unflattering. It really is, and it's like swooping in all the worst ways. Yeah, it's like a deep side part in the front to the other, to a point at the other side of his vase.

I think it's, that is not accurate for 1912 hair. I think that's 1997 hair. I think so. And why? It's not his hair. It's so weird. It's like he borrowed one of like Nick Cage's later hairs. Yes. It's just very weird.

Also, he has so much foundation makeup on, that it's like so weird. I wondered about that. Like, did he have bad skin or something? Like, why is that man wearing... He looks like a baby doll he's wearing so much makeup? He's very handsome. You can't take that away from him? I have seen him in other things where he doesn't have that doll quality about him. And it will also say now that he's adopted the full-blown, like shaving his head, it's a good look.

It looks good on him. I like it. I mean, I like a bald man though. Yeah. Yeah. I can't rock it because my head shaped like a lima bean, but he looks great. It's great because I'm just looking at you, you're like sort of backlit right now, so you are just a shadow, and so imagining your head is a lima bean which is not lima bean shaped any more than anyone's head is. It's very funny. I did cut most of my hair off today. I cut like seven inches off my hair. Oh yeah, it does look short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I can't th. I can't th. I can't th. I can't th. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't th. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I th. I can't. I th. I th. I th. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I can't. I th. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't th. I can't th. I can't th. I can't t. I can't tot. I tot. I tot. I tot. I tot. I tot. I'm just just th. I'm just th. I'm like. I can't th. I'm like. I today. I cut like seven inches off my hair. Oh yeah, it does look short. Yeah, that's really, I don't really see your face very much because you're back lit. Oh, I'm sorry. No, no, it's fine. I see you at nighttimes. There you go. There's one point where Rose is talking about

how unhappy she is and she's talking about entering this ship like a slave. Did she say that? Because she doesn't want to be in this relationship and she's basically just here for money. Oh, wait, Rose, they didn't get money. And it's not a good look for a white woman in 1912. No. That doesn't make her a very quick character, does it? Just like shooting those elephants in the face. Maybe Rose actually sucks. I believe there are arguments on the internet that she does suck, and

that's why she wouldn't let him on the piece of wood. Oh, man. We see Leo Jack as it were, and he is playing him in Fabrizio, who, did you know he was Italian? Fabritio? He puts, uh, at the end of every fucking word, we had go on the boat. Just like, Fabrizio, dial it back. You're not playing Luigi in the Mario Brothers movie. Which we really should have done for our bonus episode. There's probably still time. I am. Probably. Foc. Him and Fabritio beat the Swedes that they're playing cards with, they get their

tickets to be on the ship. And they jump on last minute and as they're jump like the ship is pulling away from the dock as they're jumping on to it and some steward on the ship is like did you get all your test done and Jack yells we're Americans we don't have lice. It's like, hmm, I, my grade school would tell you different. Yeah, any child's grade school would tell you different. Ugh. We're Americans. I think they were just like, Alan, he's an American. Come on, you idiot.

Um, there's a scene where they go to where their bunks are, down in like the bottom of the ship, and the two guys that are in the bunk are the other Swedes who were traveling with the two Swedes that they beat. And they're just like confused in Swedish, and it was pretty great. Why would you bet your tickets if your friends are already there. It's the word, I mean, just, yeah, why would you travel with two dudes who are that gambling

addicted? Also, yeah, like what did Jack have to offer into that pot? You know what I mean? Yeah. He's like, I got some tiddy pictures. You want to see him? I've drawn a lot of titties. We see Molly Brown going on board. She's not yet unsinkable. But she will become.

Mom refers to her as new money and she's very disgusted with her. She calls her vial or something like that later in the movie. Does she? Yeah. I got very excited because Theodin from Lord of the Rings is the captain of the ship, which I was very stoked about. Remind me who that is. In Lord of the Rings, he's the king who like Wormtongue is talking to. Oh, I didn't recognize him. Oh, okay.

Yeah, I got very excited about the big pistons in the bottom of the ship. You know what? I actually have a bunch of notes about this. later when they are trying to turn the ship when the iceberg is spotted, it is really good. They like, they're in the boiler room and they're winning with all the gears and the fucking turney things and like, it is very good. Yeah, I mean it's obviously like 1997 CGI for a lot of it, but it looks really good. Yeah, I think that the inclusion of that stuff is probably what kept me watching the movie. So we the th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I the th, I th, I th, I th, I th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi, th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. And, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, like, like, th. And, like, like, th. And, like, like, like, like, probably what kept me watching the movie. So we get Jack running to the front of the ship, I'm sure it has another name, and yelling... Stern or the... Prow? Me? I'm not a boat lady. I live on the river, but I will not go in it.

I've never been in that goddamn river, any of those god damn rivers, any of the three. I've lived here for 36 years. Not going to. Every time I see people swimming and I'm just like, mm-mm. Uh-uh. There's lakes really close. I remember this kid in my grade school getting a terrible eye infection from, um, swimming in the river, I think in the Allegheny, and he had to wear an eye hatch for a really long time.

Oh, Pirate Pete. Jason. Pirate Jason. We see that Rose has gotten her enfiance to buy her a bunch of Picasso paintings that are on the ship. Let's see. paintings that are on the ship. Oh, later he like makes some comment about how her taste in art is very different than his. But her taste and art is Picasso, okay. Okay. She also has a Monet in her room later, so.

Oh, holy. But when they get onto the ship, they unpack all the art. They're gonna like hang it up for the voyage. I mean, it's gonna be a month or so, right? Isn't it about a month? Yeah. But it's not like I'm gonna bring my John Carpenter poster with me. You wouldn't?

No. No. Is it a month? Oh, I mean, it doesn't make it that long. I'm going to look into that. I feel like we should know. No, I know it doesn't make it that long. How long was Titanic's voyage supposed to be? They were supposed to be able to make it in 48 hours. Across the entire ocean? Yeah.

Oh, no, no, no, no. It's got to be at least a week. Please, no, no, no, no, no, wait, no, wait, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to too, too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. thi. thi. thi got to be at least a week. Please wait no no no yeah it was meant to be a hundred and thirty seven hours which would be like six days is that right? Sure yeah. One thirty seven divided by twenty four. Five point seven days yeah. Okay. So a month is incorrect and I watched the movie. I should have known because... No, you're not hanging up art for 5.7 days.

I mean, would this still be... This is like the Gilded Age, right? Like 1912. Yeah. So yeah, I mean, rich people did assy, assy shit back then. They were just awful. I mean, I guess really the theme of this movie is that rich people do assy, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. So, thi's, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. So, thi, thi, assy shit back then. They were just awful. I mean, I guess really the theme of this movie is that rich people do assy, assy, assy shit, so. Yeah. There's like these class issues that are played out in the very beginning that come

back later on in the movie. Just with their being poor people and rich people like, ewes. And the poor people, they would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would be being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being being like, like, like, they would be like, like, they would be like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, they, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the poor people will be like, hey, I'm a Fabrizio. It's a me, I'm a jolly European. We see the first time that Jack and Rose see each other, she walks up onto the rich people's deck and she looks down and he's staring up at her and the light strains of My Heart Will Go On or whatever the fuck that song's called, start playing.

Then we cut to Rose being at a dinner with all these rich people and her being disgusted and running away and she's going to kill herself. Yeah, she can't take it anymore. It's like hard to be a rich bitch. I can tell you from experience. I remember when you had to flee Billy Zane. Okay, he, by the way, is way worse than I remembered. I apologize for the Billy Zane is Billy Zane apologism. In Act 3, he's a straight up monster. Oh yeah, I know. I fucked up. I fucked up on Billy Zane.

It's okay. As people will remember from the guest episode where I thought it was just a jaunty comedy about a funny military man. Yeah Ha ha ha ha. So she runs, she runs to the, again, front of the ship this time, and she's going to jump off. Jack talks her down by saying he'll have to jump in after and she doesn't want to kill both of them, basically. That's like a dick way to talk about a suicide is to guilt them, but I mean whatever it takes, I guess.

It's a good way to start and I will die for you relationship though. That's for sure. Absolutely true. Spoilers for the ship, she's on the other side of the railing, she slips and starts screaming and he drags her back on and when the boat cops find him, he is on top of her and she's like shaking, her boots are off and it looks like he may be trying to assault her. Oh man, and also he's a poor, let's not forget. Exactly, and she's a rich.

She's a rude girl. I know, hmmmah, hmm. Hi Dennis. Dennis is absolutely not listening to our titanic episode, is he? No, not at all. But the funny thing about the, like, so he gets like momentarily arrested, and it takes her so long to be like, actually, no, he's fine, he was helping me. Yeah, does it? That sucks, because like, that's an easy thing to do.

And he isn't like piping in, like, oh yeah, I was helping her. He's just like, yeah, whatever, fuck it. Jack is meant to be plucky. the the the pl pl pl pl pl pl pl pl pl pl pl pl pl pl pl pl pl pl pl pl pl pl pl pl pl pl, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, whatever, whatever man. Is he really? Fucked Jack. Jack is meant to be plucky, but I find him, um, schmucky. Shmucky. You really fucking nailed that, thank you. So, uh, the other thing that I wanted to mention is that Missy really loves all of Rose's dresses in this first act. Oh, she's, I mean, this entire, her costuming is fucking beautiful. Her styling, her hair, it's, she's, she is untouchable. Her hair when she's about to kill herself is phenomenal.

If your hair looked like that good, you wouldn't kill yourself, is that what you're saying? I mean, honestly, good hair would go a long way for me. That hair specifically. So we have some more interactions with Jack and Rose walking around on the deck talking to each other, being quippy. She loves his art. She's very impressed. Okay, so I think I picked up, because we did like vague time stamps so they wore

the end of scenes. So I pick up when she's showing it it he's showing her the naked ladies. Oh okay yeah yeah yeah I think I stopped right before the naked ladies started. Okay I have a note here that says I know this is Alan's section but I have to say this dialogue is piss-poor. All of their dialogue is not good. I had no idea. Yeah I had no idea, which is weird because it is probably pretty easy to write romance. You know what I mean? I don't mean in terms of like a romance novel, but I think in terms of writing romance dialogue, that's going to be a lot easier than other things.

Yeah, and it's not like there isn't a bountiful world of people you could bring in to write that dialogue. Absolutely. It you have a $250 billion budget. Right. You could pay someone to do that. It is shit. It is shit. Okay, I just wanted to be real clear about that. So what happens next? So, okay, so he shows her all the nudy picks that he's drawn of a sex worker with one leg, and then her hands, her hands, her hands were so many pictures of her hands. And Rose is like, you're, you're, th, th, th, th, th, you, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. thi, thi, thi, th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it, it is, it is, it is th. It is, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, th. It, th. It, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, thi. It's, to. It's to. It's to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it beautiful, he's drawn so many pictures of her hands, and Rose is like, you're, you're, I don't like you, and it's not, oh, well, these are quite good and now I like you.

Yeah. And that's literally how it happens. Which then cuts to like a scene of Rose, the same to the sceneess, whoever that is, and just saying shit about how like Rose doesn't have to go to college because the point of going to college is finding a man and she already did that. It's just... Uh-huh. Okay.

It's just meant, it's just like a very dumb line to be like, see, she's bad. She's a bad person. Then we get a bunch of hubris about the boil, the boil, the boil, the boil, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, of hubris about the boilers and the engines and the speed. What if there's this guy with a mustache? I don't know who he is. Did you get the mustache guy with the side part? So I believe he is the guy who helped engineer the ship. Okay. He at least named it because he was bragging about naming it.

Okay. Well, very original guy. It's a big. We get it. So he is telling the captain like, the captain doesn't have all the boilers lit. He has like all but four of them lit, and they are going to be right on time, which is amazing for them to get across the ocean in this amount of time, which not a month, a week. And the guy, the mustache side part guy is like, wouldn't it be wonderful to arrive a day early, light the boilers? And it's just like, like, there's a flashing word on the, like,

on the screen that just says like, hubris, hubris, hubris. This will come back to Bightchu. Yeah. The captain's like, hmm, could light the boilers. And then, God, we cut back to Rose Rose Rose Rose Rose Rose Rose Rose Rose Rose Rose Rose Rose Rose Rose Rose Rose Rose to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the to to the the the to to to to to to to the the to. And then, God, we cut back to Rose and Jack, who I'm already sick of, and it's mere minutes into my first quarter of the film. You're getting the like gross schmoopy side of them, right? It's very schmoopy. He's talking about the Santa Monica Pier and riding horses in the surf, which is one of the photos is of her riding a horse in the ocean, which is what I think, think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I th, I th, I th th, I think, I think, I thi thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, and tho-I, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and, and, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo' thoo' her riding a horse in the ocean, which is what I think they have to show it to you at the beginning, and then in case you missed this dialogue, they'll show it to you again at the end.

So she, this is why she has to go and fuck this guy she fucked once forever in eternity. I may have been wrong about that too. In so much as I'm not entirely sure she's she's thired. thired. thired. thired. thired. thired. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. That's, I's, I's, I's, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi. T. T. The's thi. They. I's thooooooooooooomu. Thea. Thea. Thea. Thea, thoooooo. T might be dreaming. But I think as a teenager I assumed because she was old and her eyes were closed that she was dead. I don't know. But still, okay. So he's like, he's like, he's like, tell me we'll go ride horses in the Santa Monica pier. Even if we never do it, even if we just talking about, she's like, tell me we'll go ride horses in the Santa Monica pier, even if we never do it, even if we just talk about it. And I was like, you just met this guy today, yesterday, today.

Tell me all your dreams. Yeah. And he's like, you gotta ride it the right way, not side. And she's like, you mean one leg on each side, which shows us that Rose is a real woman. Then they do this gross, like, spitting contest thing where he's teaching her how to hawk luggies and she's like, huh, who, oh, peep! That will come back because she hocks a lugi and Billy Zane's face. Ooh, I, okay, then I like the setup. Check off's lugi! Yes! Because when it's happening, it's just like, first, first, first, first, first, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, okay, then I like the setup. Check off's Lugie! Yes!

Because when it's happening, it's just like, first of all, it's repulsive, like, we watch a lot of repulsive things on this, yeah. For this podcast, and watching people hawk Lugies is one of the more repulsive ones. Like it's not an episode of Beavis and Butthead, like pull it together. And then her mother, yes, that's our next bonus episode. Her mother and Unsinkable Molly Brown walk by while they're hawking Lugie's and it's like, oh so embarrassing. Leonardo DiCaprio has a glob of Lugie under his lip and it's just repulsive. Oh God. And then there's some narration from

old rose like when her voice kicked in I was like oh yeah fucking old rose. Dusty voice rose and it's about how they like invited him to dinner because he had saved her life and my next note says see I was right about unsinkable Bontley Brown in the tuxedo because that's how he gets the tuxed. Okay okay. And thin his. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th th the the th th the th th the the th th th tho. Like the the tho. Like th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th rose the th roo. Like th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho. And tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tho the tuxedo, because that's how he gets the tuxedo. Okay, okay. And then this is the first time I see Billy Zane, and I just have a note that says, ha ha ha, Alan's right, Billy Zane does look like a banana's madman, because he does.

He does. Why does he look like that? Like I wouldn't want to marry that banana's madman either. It's like they found the last makeup artist from the silent era. Make it so the people in the back can see his makeup. So, I don't know, Billy Zane is like escorting her mother around, and so Leonardo DiCaprio is escorting Rose around, and she's like telling him about all the other rich people on the ship, and she's like, that's John Jacob Astor, his wife is pregnant, to see how she's trying to hide it, quite a scandal. And I was like, but why it's his wife? Like, it's never explained why th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to thi. to to to to to to to to thi. Billy, thi. Billy, thi. Billy, thi. Billy, thi. Billy, thi. Billy, thi. Billy, thi. Billy, thi. Billy, thi. Billy, thi. Billy, thi. Billy, thi. Billy, thi. Billy, thi. Billy, th. Billy, th. Billy, th. Billy, th. Billy, th. Billy, th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. Billy, thi. Billy, to to thi. to to to to to to to to thi. to to to to to to thi. to to to to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to see how she's trying to hide it quite a scandal. And I was like, but why it's his wife?

It's never explained why it's a scandal. And she's also not hiding it very well because she's like seven months pregnant and it's just all over the place. Okay, so then they're all sitting at dinner and Leonardo DiCaprio gives this horrible speech about how he's just living one day to the next and life is a gift and like why not just try your luck because they're like you won this these tickets in a game of poker how funny and he's like man I just float from thing

to thing but that's beautiful and it's so great and you got to make every day count and everyone's like yeah yeah it's like fucking give speeches about what they see life to be. You are the most insufferable person on this ship. Maybe it was a good move for her not to invite him on the board. Yeah, right? And then he goes, to making it count, and they all cheers, to making it count. And you're just like, I hate my life. I hate every fucking moment of this. So what, then what happens?

Then I realize that Billy Zane's name is Cal, which is a great rich guy name. It really is. Then, oh, so Jack slips, rose a note to meet her at the big clock. This th. T th. T th. T, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi, thi, thi, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tothe big clock. This is where they meet later in death or sleep. I'm not sure. So they meet there and he goes, you want to go to a real party? It's an Irish party. So they go to the Irish party.

See, this is where I was confused. Right. You're right. My next note says, the Jack would be a party show off, but I don't remember what he was doing to be a party show off. He's probably like dancing or something. He was definitely dancing. Yeah.

Oh, and then she's a party show off too because she's like, there's these men that are arm wrestling and there's beer and she picks up all beer and she chugs it, this like dark beer, and it's like, oh, Rose can drink like a man. And then she's like, you guys think you're so strong to the arm wrestling guys. And then she's like, can you do this? And she stands up like on point, like ballerina style in bare feet. And everyone's like, whoa, we've never seen someone do that before!" It's not that impressive.

Also, put your damn shoes on. Yeah, don't take your shoes off in a bar, ever, ever, ever. Who are you? But, sneaking down the stairs to see where she is, it's David Warner. Of course. And he's like, on it. Which I guess he goes back and reports this to Cal because in the morning she's having breakfast with Cal and it's like I thought a lot

about this of like she looks gorgeous she's wearing this like light kind of lineny dress her hair is half up half down it's cascading and ringlets around her shoulders she's perfectly made up and I thought she's probably hung over like like I'm so glad I live in a time where I can just like wear leggings and look like shit, you know? A time and a class I should say. Like what if you were hungover and you had to get up and do your hair in this like like elaborate fucking thing? It wouldn't work out too well for anybody. No. So Billy Zane is pissed because David Warner has told him that she was like partying and he yells at her, you are my wife in practice if not yet by law so you will honor me. And I was like because you're fucking her guy?

In practice? Yeah, isn't that what that means? In practice, I think so? Yeah. I was horrified. And he like, he really physically intimidates her. He knocks a table over, he gets in her face, he's yelling. And that's when I was like, oh yeah, I fucked up on this. So wait, for some reason I had it in my memory that she loses her virginity to Jack. Is that not the case? I don't think so because he says to her at the beginning of this breakfast conversation, he says you didn't come to me last night.

And she was like, I was tired. And he says like, oh, yes, your exploits the explo make you tired to like let me... So the combination of you didn't come to me last night and my wife in practice makes me think they're boning. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So, yeah, I don't know. The next like little bit, long bit, is her having this excruciating conversation with her mother about how their dad, her dad pissed the money away. Her mom's like strapping her into a corset and pulling it like tighter and tighter as she's being like, what, do you want me to have to get a job, Rose? What? She says things like, oh stop it mother you'll give yourself a nose bleed

which is like the best of the dialogue of this film I don't know okay like I don't know if I fell asleep or this doesn't make any sense or what but like Jack goes to the dinner she goes to the party with them and then they haven't seen each other again until the next day I think I think it's the next day I don't know and she's like I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the to the the to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. I the. I the. I tho. tho. thoooooo. I theeeeeeeeee. tho. tho thoo thooo. I the. I the again until the next day I think, I think it's the next day, I don't know. And she's like, I can't be with you, I can't, this is, I'm marrying Cal, that's that, you know, and he's like, oh, okay. He doesn't make you happy and she's like, I have to do this, you know, and I'm like you literally went to one party together....... And he. And I, you, you, you, you, you, you, and I, and I, and I, you, and I, you, and I, you, and I, you, you, and I'm, you, you, you, you th you th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, and I'm like, you, you, you, you', you', you' th.. And I th, you' th. And I'm like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th like, you're a spoiled little brat, but I like you anyway, and you're so astounding and amazing. And it's just like this very weird, like,

pick-up artisty kind of talk. He's like, I'm too involved now. You jump, I jump. And I was like, you guys have been hanging out for less than a day. But that's a callback to him jumping off when she was going to jump off. He is just way too much. Sure. Yeah, yeah. He feels like the first high school boyfriend.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If you leave me, I'll kill myself. He's that guy. As a former high school boyfriend. We're not good. Can't a test. Mm-mm not a good seem. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. He's, thi. thi. He's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's hee. He's hee. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's th. He's the. He's the. He's the. He's t. He's t. He's t. He's t. He's t. He's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he. He's've got, one of the lines from this diet, this is like how shitty the dialogue is, he says, They've got you trapped Rose and you're gonna die if you don't break free. Touchdown. Touchdown, touchdown sports. So do they get to the fuckens next? Uh, God, here I've, I got a lot of notes here.

Oh, no, Rose is having rich people's sadness. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the the the the the the the the the th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the the thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thioliologe s thiologe-s thia-s thia' thia' thia' thia' thia' thia' thi. One of them says, oh no, Rose is having rich people sadness. Oh, oh, oh, okay. So she's like, I'm going back. I'm leaving, leave me alone. And she walks away. And then she comes back and finds him later because she's changed her mind. thin, she's decided she's going to be with Jack. We don't see her changing her mind. It's just she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she's just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. th. th. th. th. th. thuii she says she says she says, she says, she says, she's thi, she's thi, she's thiol. thiol. thoes. thoes. thoes. thoes. thoes. thoes. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. th th to that to th to to to to th to th to to th th th th th th th th th th th th th have no idea what caused her to change her mind. It's just she says I'm leaving.

And then she's like, hey, I'm back. That's what happens. Yeah. Kudos to you, James Cameron, for being willing to at least cut that scene. to that that scene. So, uh, then there's the fucking I'm flying scene which just made me want to die. Did he do I'm the King of the World earlier? Did I make that up?

Yeah, yeah, I'm the King of the world was when he first, when him and Fabrizio go up to the front. Great. So he takes Rose up there since he and Fabrizio had such a good time. And he like holds her on the railing and she opens her were standing there, Jack was like right behind Fabrizio, and Missy's like, you think he's put his dick on that guy's back? So, I think he was definitely doing that to Rose. Definitely putting his dick on her back. And it's just like, so they're like, like, this is not hiding from your fiancé, standing on the front of the boat doing that. Screaming?

Screaming, I'm flying. He did not yell, I'm king of the world while she's yelling, I'm flying, though, right? No, then they start making out. And I was like, don't make out of there, you're going to fucking fall off. Also, I wish to this was a horror movie and he just pushed her off and the boat ran right the fuck over her. She was just the horse in the American remake of the Ring. So then it cuts to old Rose telling the story to a room full of boat guys. And they're all entranced by the love story. It's like meant to be like, oh my god, the story's so good.

We're like enjoying it so much to make you think that maybe you're enjoying the movie, which you're not. Then there's some more underwater shit. We see like the fireplace in her room and then it fades into the fireplace and her room in the past, you know. Oh God, how many times do they need to do that in the movie? It's like I understand the boat's going to be underwater. You need not foreshadow it? I would say you could cut all of that stuff out of the movie. Yeah, it's just kind of a foregone conclusion, isn't it? But James Cameron's like, uh-uh, have you guys seen underwater? Underwater is dope. Underwater! Okay, so they're back in her room. So Cal is like drinking in the bar or something and

she's in their room with Jack taking her clothes off to be drawn. So like, that's really- Oh, that scene happens in their room? Yes, it is so fucking risky. It's so fucking risky. I assume it's both of their rooms because his safe is in there, but her paintings are in there and all of her stuff is in there. Yeah, I mean it's risqué to go little tits out right when your fiance is just downstairs drinking. He like has a key card, he can walk right in. Be poop! Yeah, so here's where we see the Monet, here's where we see the diamond. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind of kind th, kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, kind, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th, th, th, th, the th, th, th, th. It's th. It's th. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, th. It's like, it's like, it's like, th th th th th th. It's like, th. It's like, kind of thick, thick, thi. thi. thi. the the th we see the diamond. It doesn't, it's like, kind of looks like shit.

It doesn't look great. It's not a great time. It looks like, it just looks like play jewelry that you would get as like a toy set. And then I wrote, oh, good, I get this tittie scene. Here's a thing I will say that I really like. She comes out in this like sheer black robe with these gold accents and this big long cape sleeve with like gold tassels at the end. Oh hello. It is extremely dope and you can see her tits through it and she looks great. Fuck. Yeah it's beautiful. I have a note that says this scene is being displayed to a piano rendition of my heart will go on. Okay so he's thrown her. It's grossed th. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's thi. It's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I I I I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I will will will thi. thi. thi. thi. I will thi. I will thi. I will thi. I will thi. thi. I'll thi. thi. thi. thi. I'll thi. I will thi drawing her. It's gross. It's weird. I'm uncomfortable because he's

so gross. And then it zooms in really tight on Rose's eye and then it fades into old Rose's eye. They should have zoomed in on her boobs. Just on to old Rose's tits. I'm so mean. And she's saying, she's telling the story, she's like, it was the most erotic moment of my life. And all the dudes are just looking at her, the boat dudes. It's so weird. Can you imagine any instance where you're in a room full of people? When you say that? Alan, the fact that I just said it out loud is the only instance I could ever admit, like imagine myself saying it. Oh that, oh that was the most erotic

moment of my life. What have you ranked them all? And told other people. Coming in a number 10. The time a guy licked ketchup off my toes at a prat party. That happened, it was not to me. All right, so do they get to the fucking next? No, not for a long time. David Warner and Billy Zane are running around like, where is she? We can't find her anywhere? She's in the fucking room. Where else would you look for her?

Why don't you look for her in her room? Then they realized they're about to hit the iceberg. Like, how hard is it to see an iceberg? Actually, we learned that they never, they like broke the binoculars or something and just never got new ones on the titanic....... That's how and it's like hubris hubris hubris hubris We won't need to see David Warner runs into the room finally they run out the back door of the room and then there's a chase scene They're in the boiler room like where people are literally shuffling coal then they find the car in the old basement and I wrote oh am I gonna get the fucking scene too You got them both?

I did. So they fuck. He says to her, are you nervous? Like, assuming she's not getting boned elsewhere, which I thought was very presumptuous of him. She says the line, put your hands on me, Jack? It's gross. So she's always been gross. Yes. Okay, so they they f f f f f f so they f f so they f so they f f they f they f f they f, so they f, they f, they f, they f, they f, they f, they f, they f, they f, they f. they f. they f. they f. they f. they they they they're they they're they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th. th. th. th. thu. thu. thu. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th tho. tho. the. th. th. th so they fuck, and then afterwards, they're the sweatiest I've ever seen anyone be.

And I'm a distance runner. I remember that car being saturated with sweat. It looks like they set off a sprinkler in it. It is insane. It's a sauna in there. Like, were they just like having the most athletic, like, true blood-esque sex? They couldn't have been. They couldn't be having dance sex because it's the back of a car you, how much range of motion are you gonna have? It's a, it's the back of an old-ass car where they like put full-blown couches and all of them. And then the boiler guys most have called the boat cops because the boat cops show up and oh my god! And the second, oh the the tho, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, oh, oh, this is still going on. Okay, I have like a few more notes of the second quarter. Yeah, no, I'm not blaming you. I'm blaming James Cameron. You should.

So Cal opens up the safe and the drawing is in there. And I was like, why would you put it in the safe? And then she put a note with it that says, darling, now you can keep us both locked in your safe. Bop-Bow! Bam! So she's like 100% on board with Jack, the guy she met yesterday. Was the audience from Mori in the room when he opened the safe and just went, oh!

Then at the bottom of the screen, the like, Chiron said like, rose, in for a penny, in for a pound. The most erotic. She says to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the th, the th. th, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. thi. the. thi. the. the. the. tho. the. like Rose in for a penny in for a pound. The most erotic. She says to him after they fuck she goes when the ship docks I'm getting off with you. And I was like what if he was just like no. I got to do my busking. Why don't I, what don't I call? I'll call you.

I'll call you. We'll exchange emails. Okay, so then in this moment, they realize they're gonna hit the iceberg, and he's like, iceberg, right ahead! And it's literally 14 feet in front of him. Okay, so this is where I picked up. Okay, great, go. Yeah, this is, we've got two guys being like, oh snap, iceberg, chablow, they hit the iceberg.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. There's about 12 minutes before that happens. Because there's action movie music, and then they do the whole thing, they have to turn away from the iceberg. They've never heard the phrase, just the tip of the iceberg. They're, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thin, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, the, the, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, they, they, they, they.o, they.o, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, their, their, their, their, their, the tip of the iceberg. They should have realized they were fucked. So this is the part I was talking about that's actually kind of like great and fascinating is like all these just cool mechanical parts and like all these people how having to like pitch in and do like they each have to pull like a rope

at different times to like turn the shit. It's really it's I thought that was really good. Yeah and it looks like some like than like th. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. I that that that that that that th th th th th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I that that that that that that that that. I that. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I that that th. I that that th. I th. I was just just just just just just just just just just just just just just that was just that was just that was just that's that's th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I that that that. I that. I that. I that. thate. thate. that. that. that. that. that. I that. I that. I that. fantasy thing where like the guys are just standing next to those giant pistons that are going and like it's amazing looking. I didn't know what pistons were called so I didn't write it that word down. Okay, yeah, yeah. I like those pistons. Yeah. They're just look like so fantastical because like any, it's another one of those things where like you've seen small-sized pistons in your car you're like oh that's what a piston looks like and then to

see it at 200 feet tall just like okay that's weird where's there a piston in my car it makes your engine go I don't see my engine out I don't see my engine out there never taken an engine part and worked on it are you joking you didn't have a 70-n Nova that that that that took apart and looked at the engine? I have a lot of things but mechanically inclined is not one of them. I miss having a 72 Nova because it was the last time that I owned a car that I could open up the hood and go, oh that's broken. Oh damn, really? Yeah. Yeah. And there were because there's like 12 moving parts, and you just figure out what's not working. Don't make them like that anymore. Don't make them like they used to. It's all computers now? Yeah. So, uh, I guess I started up before like a right at this point because I saw like all the rope pulling and the giant pistons and them trying to turn the ship. Uh-oh. I wonder if we cut out part of quarter three then. And this is where Missy said, why didn't they have flame throwers on the ship so they could shoot up the icebergs?

It's a brilliant idea. Let's get Missy back in time. I did like that did you see up to where like they hit and like the guys on the deck are like all right we breeze fast that one Yeah and then other people are like yeah this water pour again we're kind of rock right now totally and there's this great scene where like once they started sounding the alarm that they did hit the iceberg the actual engineer runs into the like onto the deck and he's like okay this thing is going to do this and that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. theee. the. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they did hit the iceberg, the actual engineer runs into the like onto the deck and he's like, okay, this thing is going to do this and that and we're done. Like we're fucked. There's no coming back from this. And it's this, it's really well done. Like James Cameron does action super well. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. These action scenes are great. And all the, like, yeah so good hire someone But Jack and Rose are on the deck and they see the iceberg and they see like it go right by them and they're like, oh, what's going on? Oh, they're fucking kissing of course they are.

And there's a really tent scene where like they're closing all the like watertight doors on the lower levels and guys are getting stuck behind the doors as they're flooding. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they, they, they, they, the the the the they's they's they's they's they's their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. Oh, their. Yeah, their. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they, they, the, they, they, they, the, the, they, they. So, they. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, their they's their their their their their their their th scene where like they're closing all the like watertight doors on the lower levels and guys are getting stuck behind the doors as they're flooding. Yeah, which is just brutal. What a shit job. Like, honestly. There's there's rats running, which is always good on a ship. Why are they so packed full of rats? I don't know because didn't they just build it and get moving? When did the rats have time? Rick, because didn't they just build it and get moving? When did the rats have time? Rick, did you remember to put the rats on the boat? We have to know if it's sinking or not. They're like calculating the square footage of Titanic.

They're like, how many rats are we going to need for this? And while all this is going down, there's this whole B plot of Billy Zane claiming to have been robbed because him and David Warner are going to set up Jack. Okay. David Warner drops the diamond into Jack's jacket, which he also claims has been stolen. The sea cops take Jack. They like tie him up, handcuff him to a pole or a like a pipe in a lower deck room.

I do like the engineer when he's showing them the ship, he's like, it's going to sink. It's a mathematical certainty. And when he says that, everyone's like, oh, fuck, math, we're doing it. Oh my god, that's powerful. Math is powerful. Also, the eye, like he's like, we have an hour or two before this thing is completely underwater. How fucking terrifying would that be?

So fucking terrifying. Like, the ship's sinking scenes are awful. They're so like, they creep me out beyond belief. Like the idea of being on a sinking ship, it just tear. I think I'm more scared of that than being on a plane that's going down. At least that's gonna happen faster, you know? Yeah, yeah. Actually, almost like having two hours is too long. Yeah.

And it like, there's this whole thing where the band keeps playing. I'm they're they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're've heard that. Oh they come back don't you worry they're in quarter four. And like all the rich people are not taking this seriously and all of the poor people have been blocked off from coming up on the upper decks to get on the life votes. Oh damn. Yay. Because they want to make sure they get all the riches on the life votes because there's to make sure they get all the riches on the lifeboats. Because there's, I guess in quarter two, Rose finds out that there's not enough lifeboats. Oh yes, she's she's taking a tour of the ship with Mr. Andrews who looks so familiar to me. That's the guy who says mathematically it's going to sink. Okay. Yeah, who is that actor? What do I know? It's like a downtown, the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. tho. thi. thi. thi. tho. tho. tho. tho. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. thi. to. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. to sink. Okay. Yeah. Who is that actor? What do I know him from? I don't know. He's like a downtown Abbey guy. Yeah maybe. I haven't seen

it but maybe. Yes, she's like, wait I've just, she literally says I've run the numbers in my head and it seems like with a number of people you've set her on board and the number of life boats you have, there isn't enough capacity. And he's like, oh, young Rose, you're such a smart girl. You're so plucky. Yes, so plucky. So David Warner is going to watch Jack. He's got a gun, as you may or may not know at this point. I did not, but I assumed.

Which, I mean, my call of Catholulu team is going to be very upset because I wouldn't let them take their guns on the Lusitania when they cross the ocean. Oh. Oh. Oh, and so they start loading the lifeboats, women and children first. the room that Jackson starts to flood, so David Warner takes off and is like peace you're gonna die. I wonder if David Warner gets out of it I don't remember seeing him at the end. Oh I wonder because he doesn't die in the part that I saw. Also he's a valet.

Yeah. Leonardo DiCaprio definitely calls him a valet at one point. Yeah he's an American. He's like oh that guy's, that guy's pretty, uh, pretty dedicated for a valet. And I was like, did he say valid? Isn't that what British people say to you? Is it? I think, if my downtown Abbey memory is correct, because British people don't like pronouncing things, because they say fillets. Oh, they will use a French pronunciation because they hate the French. Yeah, they use the word, but they're gonna pronounce it wrong. I like that.

It's like salt in the wound, you know. So they're, yeah, like the ship is sinking. It's scary as hell. Billy Zane is being a real jerk, not being a nice guy. What's he doing at this point? Just running around, plotting on how to, like, he's like paying off stewards to get him onto a boat. Oh, wait till you find out what he actually does to get onto a boat. You're going to be so mad. I think there's some foreshadowing because he spots a kid all by himself and he's like,

ha ha ha. Yep, that's what it is. He uses a child. So this is when Rose says goodbye to her mother. So this is when Rose says goodbye to her mother, spits in Billy Zane's face and says I'd rather be his whore than your wife. Harsh. Damn Rose? Yeah. Because Billy Zane had called her a whore of course. Of course he had. I was wrong. Okay, of things I was wrong about, I was wrong.

Yeah, there's a whole bunch of shit of Rose running around trying to find Jack and like cornering people and being like if you were gonna put blah blah and a blah blah where would it be and she runs down into the bottom of the ship because somebody tells her and she finds Jack and she has to get and she's trying to find a key to get him loose she can't find a key so she finds an axe. Wow there's this funny funny th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the. the. the. thi the. thi. the. thi. I the. the. the. the. the. thi. I's thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I I I I I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I's the. I's the. I's the. I's the. I's the. I's a the. I'm the. the. throwne. throwne. I's throwne. I's throwne. thrown thrown thrown the. thrown't find a key, so she finds an axe. And there's this funny scene where he's like, all right, test out the axe. Make sure you can hit the same spot twice, because, you know, to break metal handcuffs.

So she hits this like wardrobe and hits it once. he's like, okay, let's do this. Oh my god. But of course she nailed it. Yeah, one whack. Yeah, one whack. But there's a great scene where she's like, she convinces a guy to operate an elevator to let her go to the lower decks. And as they get down, the elevator starts filling with water. And I have the note, there should be a killer shark and an the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the note, there should be a killer shark and an L.O. Cool J. in this. Absolutely. So he gets her, she gets him out of the handcuffs and now they're running around the boat

as all the light bulbs are popping as the water gets to them. Oh, I like that. Justconcerting. Is it cool? Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. It adds like this trying to get out of the cage. The poor are trying to get out of the cage. Because they basically like they've pulled across these metal barriers and cage the poor and the bottom of the ship. Jesus. And so Jack and Rose run around to another stairwell, well there's less people and he meets up with Tommy and Fabrizio and Tommy is the Irish friend. Fabricio is Swedish. No, Acadia, I'm an Italian. Oh did you know? It's me, a Fabricio. I'm sorry, I'm a Fabricio. I'm sorry, I'm a Fabricio.

I'm a Fabricio. Just start spinning a pizza. Where did you get that? Where did you get that? Fabrizio! I'm making a pizio. I'm sorry to all over tell you. Yeah, I'm sorry to all of our tel you listeners. But they pick up a bench and ram and knock the gate down, they're able to get out. Cool. able to get out so that these guys can get out on the deck. Yeah because they're on the, when I see them they're on the deck. Yeah. There's a bunch of stuff with Billy Zane threatening them, he's gonna kill Jack. Get over at Billy Zane, you're a

rich guy, you'll find somebody else. But then to get Rose on, they finally get Rose on to a life vote, and Billy Zane's like, look th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th, th. th. th. their, thi, they's they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their, they're their, their, their threa, their, their, their, life phone on the other side that I've paid for to get myself on to you, I'll take Jack with me. And Jack's like, yeah, she believes that? She does. And Jack's like, stupid, Rose. Yeah, I'll go with him. That'll be fine. And as soon as she's like, thoo fi'c. to tha, thi's, she's, she's, thi's, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's like, she's like, she's, she's like, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's. that's. that's. that. that's, she's, she's like, she's like, she's like, that. that. that. that. that's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like And Jack's like, yeah, of course I do. What the fuck you're talking about? Duh. But that's also just like, look how smart Jack is and how stupid Rose is. He knew and she's so dumb. Well, as Rose gets down to the next deck, she jumps off her lifeboat onto the ship again.

Oh. She's got to be with Jack. If she's going to, if Jack's going to die, she's going to die, she's gonna die. That's not what happens though, is it? Old Rose. When they meet back up when she finds Jack again, he's kissing her and yelling how stupid she is. Oh man, that's not cute at all. I don't think any man that I've ever been romantically involved with has called Be Stupid, and I think that's because they know the consequences. It wouldn't be kissing. I think that's why you're not going to go into love making a heaven with the man that you met once on booze. I'm not sure she was out.

We didn't talk about it. I don't know. Billy Zane chases them around the ship with a gun trying to shoot them and kill them. He put the diamond in Rose's, in his jacket and now Rose has his jacket. So Billy Zane doesn't have the diamond anymore and he's freaking out about that. Oh, there's a little kid that like Rose and Jack are trying to help. And they pick him up and they're carrying him out of the water and his non-English speaking dad comes around a corner grabs the kid and punches Jack the try to steal his kid. I like that a lot. They get trapped behind another gate that they eventually

get out of. Tommy gets shot by a steward who's like wielding a gun and trying to get people to get back from getting on the boats. This is where I picked up so we definitely, we definitely, we've. the to get their their their to get their to get to get to get their to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to to to steal to steal to steal to steal to steal to steal to steal to steal their to steal to steal to s. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. the. te. their. their. their. their. their wielding a gun and trying to get people to get back from getting on the boats. This is where I picked up, so we definitely, we definitely got some over up. Oh, okay. So you saw Fibrizio call him a Bastard. I did. And then the steward shoots himself in the head.

Which, to be fair, a way better death than drowning. to which the to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be fair, to be fair, to be fair, to be fair, to be fair, to be fair, to be fair, to be to be to be fair, to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the the the the the the the the, the, the the, the the, the, the, the, the, thea. thea, to to to to to to to to to the, thea, thea, we definitely, we definitely, we definitely, we definitely, was like, fuck it. Yeah, I would absolutely be like, fuck it, too. People are on your own. I'm sorry I blew it, I'm out. Yeah, there's like a scene, there's a scene later where the ship is going down and there's an elderly couple laying on their bed, the man, the husband is spooning the wife, they're both wearing life vests and they if you are to suggest I'm going to lay here on this bed and drown with you, no, I want you to find another way to kill me or kill yourself. Like, I'm not going to lay on a bed and wait to drown. That's not romantic.

That's silly. That's a terrible way to die. I hate that version of like romantic thought. Like, romance and death are unrelated. I mean... Don't you think? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Stop tying the two together. I think that's a very antiquated idea about romance.

Everyone's got to die for everybody up. No, no, you're good. Just don't. Just don't. And also, like, if you're waiting to drown, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to die for everybody up. No, Doc, no, you're good. Just don't, just don't. And also like, if you're waiting to drown, take off the life vest. You're just going to bob up to the ceiling, you know? It's just going to press you into the ceiling. Right? I don't think, I think those life vests are like, they're like a suggestion of buoyancy. I don't think they've really nailed the buoyancy of a life vest yet. They're the lacroy of buoyancy.

I feel like they're just stuffed with feathers and they're like, yeah, you'll be fine. Feathers float, sir. Yes, yeah, on mass. Throw a down comforter into your bathtub and see what happens. I'm sorry, have you ever seen a duck sink? So yes, Cal uses a child to get on the lifeboat. He finds a child crying by herself and picks her up and goes over to one of the stewards and is like, I'm all she has in the world, you have to let us go, so he gets on a lifeboat with a little kid.

And then he shook her over as soon as he gets on the boat. He immediately hands the child over to some women who are on the lifeboat, and they start comforting the child, and he apparently never does again. These people think she's your child. I mean if you're gonna go evil, go 100%. I guess but that means he had to have told those women at some point. Oh that did you think that no no no no no not not mine sorry about that. Okay so then it's just gets really into like so Rose runs into Mr. Andrews and he's like I'm sorry

that I didn't build you a stronger ship, young Rose. And I was like, are you guys friends? What is happening? She was smart, remember? Yeah. The band is doing a lovely job, I thought. Yeah. So they play their last song of the set and they all stand up and say it's been a pleasure

to have played with you or whatever. And they all all all all all all allthen one of the violinists starts playing nearer God to thee, the hymn. Yeah. And they all turn, when they hear nearer God to thee, they all turn around and come back and they all start playing it. And it is actually very beautiful. I liked it a lot. Do you th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do. Do you. Do you. Do you. Do you th. Do. Do. Do you th. Do you th. Do you th. Do. Do you th. Do you th. Do you th. Do you th. Do. Do. Do. Do. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. the cha. the cha. the cha. And the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I te. I. I te. I. I te. te. the. I. I. I the the the the the the the the the cellist is just like, you know, know I was like I can't I'm this is so morose I have no need for this. So that's probably Vasquez that's doing that. Oh okay okay okay okay. I was kind of not watching because that scene came right after the old people laying in the bed while water rushes

under them and I was like this not for me you know? still a lot this this th this th this this this th this this th th th this th this is th this is th this is th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thi. the. the. thooooooooo. the. the. tho. the. th. Still a lot of this film left. I have a note here, back-to-back notes, one says, still a lot of this film left. And what did Alan just watch for the last 49 minutes, if not this? Okay, so the ship starts to go vertical when it breaks. Was that amazing looking? It was amazing looking. And it's also just, there are so many extras in this film.

Like, when the people are trying to rush up the ramps to get to the top of the ship that's going up in the air, like, there are so many people rushing. It looks great. Yeah. There's, oh, you want to know how Fabrizio dies, poor Fabrizio. Oh no. He's in the water. He falls off the boat and this giant tower falls. I don't know if it's like a steam... Like the big pipe, the stacks that are on the trip. The stack, yes, yes, yes.

Falls and just fucking smacks Fabrizio in the water. That's how Fabrio goes. Why do Fabrizio and Tommy have have to have to have to have to have to have to to to to to to to to to to to thio thio to thio to thio thio thio thio thio rizio and Tommy have to go out like that? I don't know. They do. So Rose and Jack are now at the top of the ship. They're holding onto the railing with all of these other people. And Rose looks one way and she sees a poor lady.

And she looks another way and she sees a poor man. And I think she just realized that she's going to die with poor people. And I think think think tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thus, and I thus, and I thus, and I thus, and I thus, and I thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, their, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. So, the, the, the, the, the, the, theat, tho, to to to to to too. too. too. too, thooooo. Soo. So, the. So, tho. So, the. So to die with poor people, and I think it's supposed to mean something, but I don't know what it is. She doesn't say ew or anything. Yeah, she isn't like appalled by them, I guess. Okay, then there's a scene I really liked, which is, it goes like to slowmo for a second here, and there's just like a corpse floating in the ballroom and it's like wearing, the woman, it's a it's a it's a woman, it's a woman, it's a woman, it's a woman, it's a woman, it's a woman, it's a woman, it's a w. it's a w. It's a w. It's a w. It's a w. It's a w. It's a w-a, it's a w-a, it's a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's, th.a, th.a, th.a, th.a, th.a, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, th. th. thin, th. th. th. thin, th. th. th. th. thin, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th's just like a corpse floating in the ballroom, and it's like wearing, it's a woman wearing like a white dress, which is just like very floaty in the water. Ah.

And then there's a shot of a huge, like, oh God, what are those things called? Not a banquette, but like a, just a bunch of shelves that would hold plates, it's a bunch of shelves that would hold plates, it doesn't matter. Okay. A bunch of shelves holding plates. And they all start falling off in slow motion. And it looks very like Kubricky in a way, like just, yeah. And then dumb, dumb James Cameron has to have them all flow, like fall off in regular motion and it's not cool at all, you know. I got one to be able to think that gravity had been fucked up by the time time. No, they're falling at regular speed.

It's fine, it's fine. He's like, I've captured this very eerie moment. No, let's make it fall. It's so dumb. They explode as they hit the crowd. Speaking of exploding, next up is a guy falling off the ship and hitting one of the propellers, which I kept thinking about George Costanza, yelling, that's gotta hurt, over and over.

There's a shot that I really liked where it's from the viewpoint of the life boats that have already left and they're looking back at the Titanic as it's cracking in half. And it just looks amazing. The the th th th thi the thi thi thii thi thi thi thi thi th thi th th th thi thi thi th thi thi thi thi th thi th th thi th is thiolo- th is tho- thi tho- th is tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho tho tho-s tho-s tho-s tho-s tho-s to-s to-s toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-s that have already left and they're looking back at the Titanic as it's cracking in half and it just looks amazing. The top half is starting to splinter. I wrote it looks dope, maybe I would like action movies. Okay, I can see that. Yeah. The ship breaks, it hurdles down to the ocean, it smushes a whole bunch of people. It goes vertical. I mean, oh my god. And that's what it's what it's what it's what it's what it's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. tip. tip. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tops. tops. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. to. tooo. top. top. top. top. top. top. top. top. top. top. top. top. top. top. top. top. top. to to. to. And that's what it's most terrifying, because as it's going down, it's going to drag

anything near it down with it. Oh, don't worry, Jack tells Rose that. He says to her, the ship is going to suck us down, take a deep breath when I say. Like she can't figure out when she's going to, when do I breathe? I could do the figures in my head, but when do I breathe? You're so stupid. I wonder what you let him sink. He also makes her hold his hand while they're swimming and I was like that is so much less efficient Okay, so now they're floating in the water and Rose goes it's so cold and I was like yeah bitch It's the North Atlantic like so when he was starting to talk her off the the the railing when she was going to jump. He's like, have you ever swum in Lake Minnetonka in the winter or whatever? He doesn't say Minutonka, that's from purple rain by prince. But he's, it's like, it's so cold.

It feels like a thousand daggers stabbing you. And I was like, well, I wonder if that's gonna come back up. How that tho'er. Have you th submerged in ice water? No, I've always wanted to do that polar bear plunge thing. I've never done it. I did a tough mutter. One of the obstacles was a dumpster full of ice water that you had to jump in and go through.

But there were like boards across the top, so you had to go under them, so you had to get your head in there. And it was really awful. the board the board you had to get your head in there. Ugh. And it wasn't really fucked up. It was really awful. Because also I went under the board and then I like, there was ice floating at the top, so I thought I was still under the board, so I just kept swimming. And when I finally popped up at the end, I was like, it was awful. I almost faintahed. I. I. I. I. I faint. I. I. I. I faint. I'm. I'm fa. I'm fa. I'm fa. I'm fa. I'm fa. I'm fa. I'm fa. I'm fa. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I almost fa. I almost fa. I almost fa. I almost fa. I almost. I was, th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, I was, th. I was, I was, I was, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. thi. thia. thia. theau thea. thean. thea. thea. thea. I was thi. I was th. Iter things are just paying people to torture you, right? Oh yeah, I cannot believe that I paid that amount of money to nearly faint.

You want to get electrocuted in a puddle? Not really, but I guess. It hurts. It stings. Get us, those shocks. Yeah. There's a picture of me from the very end of the race where you have to go through a like an area of hanging live wires. And you can see like I'm coming towards the finish line and I'm like my team is with me. They're like a little bit off to the side and I like am running I look gleeful. And then the next one I'm just face down in the mud because I got shocked on the neck and it dropped me

So it's just one of those extreme haunted houses, but outside and you're running Exactly, yes, but you know what though? I finished because I'm unsinkable Katie Unzapable Katie, yeah, so so they were they've gotten back up to the surface of the water I take? Yes, they're floating in the North Atlantic. There's people. There's th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I's just just just just thi, I's thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th is thi, th is thi, thi, thi, thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I the thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, thi, the thi's their thin, their their their thii's their thi's thi's back up to the surface of the water I take. Yes, they're floating in the North Atlantic. There's people everywhere, which is actually a very terrifying scene. Like a man is holding on to Rose trying to keep himself above water, which is pushing her down under. And Jack comes over and punches him of course. But just the scene of just like everybody's flailing, everybody's screaming, and they're all packed in in this area where they've fallen. It's really scary. Yeah. And Jack's like, Roe, Jack finds Rose. He's like, Rose, come with me. Come over this way.

And he takes her over to where the door is. Like, how did he find this choice door? Leave it to go get her, come back gets on it. He tries to get on it exactly once and it tips, so he does not try again. Exactly once. Like, do you know how many times it takes to even get on an inner tube and a pool? Yeah. You're jumping like four or five times. That's it. He does not try again.

He's the last thing we see that is not them loving each other is Molly Browns in one of the lifeboats and she's like screaming at the person rowing the lifeboat that they have to go back and pick these people up. And the guy's like, no way, they're gonna all like clamor on the lifeboat,they'll tip us all and we're all gonna die. And she's everyone else is like, you know, leave them and Molly Brown's the only one with a conscience. So. Right, because they were they were underfilling the lifeboats with people. Right. Does she threaten to break the guy's ankle with a piece of wood and a hammer? I hate that so much. Yeah, no, he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he that he that he that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thee. theeeeeeea. thea. that's that's thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. And th. th.. I hate that so much. Yeah, no, it's legit terrifying. No, but he does threaten to throw her overboard if she doesn't shut up. And I said, sir, do not threaten to throw unsinkable Molly Brown overboard. She is unsinkable. Okay, so then there, he's in the water. She's on the door and he's saying, don't say your goodbyes, you're gonna get out of here, you're gonna go on and make lots of babies, you're gonna watch them grow, you're gonna die an old lady warm in her bed, not here,

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, he's like a manic-pixie dream boy. It's gross. That's a hundred percent what he is. He says to her, winning to promise me, you'll survive. It just goes on and on. And it is endless. And she's going, I'll never let go, I'll never let go. I'll never let go.

She says it four times. Spoilers. She lets go. Let's go. Sinks. Right, because she doesn't she like fall asleep and wake up and he's just a jack cube in the water? Yeah, exactly. She wakes up because one of the lifeboats has come back empty. And they're shining a, this is seen is so good. They're shining a light around in the water. It's all floating corpses. And there's all these people with like iced over eyes. It is very good. Although in the water is like a woman holding an infant and you're like, the the th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T, th. T, th. T, th. T, th. T, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thi, thi, thi, th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. T. T. It's th. It's th. T. T. T. It's th. It's th. It's thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, an infant and you're like, I get it, stop it. And the infant's holding two elderly people?

Yeah, yes. And the two elderly people are holding a person in a wheelchair and you're just like, come on. There's a dog in the lap of the person. It just keeps going on. So she has to detach her hand from his like frozen dead one while saying, I'll never let go and then he sinks to the bottom. She jumps into the water and swims over to a guy who has a whistle in his mouth and she pulls the whistle out and starts blowing it and that's how she gets the lifeboats to come to her. But I was like, man, that's gonna take his lips to his lips too. You know, his lips are most definitely the the thiiiiiiii. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna that's that's gonna that's that's too. that's gonna gonna gonna gonna. that's that's too. too. too. that's to get to get to get to get to get that's that's gonna. that's gonna. that's gonna. that's gonna. that's gonna gonna. that's gonna gonna gonna gonna. that's gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna gonna. that's gonna gonna gonna. that's gonna gonna gonna. that's gonna. that's gonna. that's gonna. that's gonna. that's gonna. that's gonna. that's gonna. that's gonna. that's gonna that's gonna to that's gonna to to t. to ta. to tha. to to ta. to to that's to that's to that's to that. You're going to wipe his lips off of that? Yeah.

She's basically putting her lips into his lips. Uh, okay, so then it's old rose again. Uh, she talks about how she was one of six to be taken from the water. Wow. Yeah. And then it goes back, it's a flashback again from her getting to the ship, the rescue ship, they're all on the deck of the rescue ship and she is with the pores and she has like a blanket over her head like poor women do in this movie. Yeah, she's on the poor deck and she sees cow come down looking for her and she like hides

under the blanket so he never sees her and he believes her to be dead I guess. Oh no. And she says, can you can I tell you what she says about him? Please. This is all in old Rose narration. She's like, the crash of 29 hit his interests hard and he put a pistol in his mouth that year. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! It's the funniest line about suicide ever. Yeah, because the guy was a real trash person, so it's fine to laugh at it. It's fine to laugh at it. Uh, okay, so then she, one of the people working on the ship asks her what her name is,

and she says, Dawson, Rose Dawson. Oh, for fuck sake. And that's how Rosario Dawson was born. Okay, then she tells, oh my gosh, it's so dumb. She's talking to her granddaughter and Bill... Paxton. Paxton. And she's like, I've never... Please, Brock love it. Yeah. She's talking about Jack and she's like, I've never... Please, Brock, love it. She's talking about Jack and she's like, I've never spoken of him until now, not to anyone. Not even your grandfather.

A woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets. See like the ocean. Yeah. But as I'm getting close to death I'm going to tell you all about the most erotic thing that ever happened to me. I guess so. I guess so. So then Bill Paxton laments not having found the heart of the ocean.

And then, like, were we not meant to know that she had it? No, because Billy Zane says she has it in her jacket pocket. Okay. Because she, because it seems like I'm supposed to be surprised when she pulls it out, being old grows. Okay. You are, yeah, yeah, yeah. So she's sleeping on this boat, I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, she lives on that boat. Yeah, because they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they put her they put her up in a in Brock Lovett's room, okay she gets on the ship. Okay, so she in the middle of the night and her old lady night gown goes out to the railing and throws the diamond into the ocean, which is totally dick because that's a nice little inheritance for her kids and grandchildren. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Does she go out in the black like sheer thing that she was like, yep, with the gold tassels and it's just city town everywhere. Like, I'm just such a practical person that throwing riches into the ocean rather than doing something, whether, even if you don't leave it to your family, like, a lot of goods you could do with

the most valuable diamond in the world. I mean, I think the beginning is supposed to like set it up that she is wealthy because we see that she's traveled the whole world, she's seen all this stuff. She's like throwing a clay pot in her sunroom. Like there's like... God, that's such an old... So not in her nursing home. No! There's a sign that just says th just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi that she that she's a that she's a that she's a that she's a that she's a that she's a that she's a that she's a that she a sign that just says yes this is my house. Alan and Katie. I'm not Irish. Okay so wait now. She's sleeping. Did she bring all of those pictures with her to onto the boat? I'm not sure if she's sleeping on the boat or in her room.

Oh yeah, she brought like 27 pieces of luggage because it's joked about when she first gets on the ship. Okay, great. So much like the time she took the Titanic and brought everything she's ever owned with her. Just how she thinks boats work. This is my house now. She rents a kayak and shows up like an armoire. What? Okay so then it shows all the pictures of her again, riding an elephant, or hanging out with an elephant, riding a horse and the surf at the Santa Monica Pier, and then I thought, who took this photo? Was it her new husband? Because that's kind of weird.

So then she's sleeping, I guess. theyce. theyce. the clock, back on the Titanic, and there are all of these people, like the decks, the interior decks are all full of people watching them and they kiss and everyone applods and the movie ends. And it's just like she did all this cool shit and she ended up back on the fucking Titanic, that's offensive.

So hopefully it's just a dream. Hopefully I'm wrong. I want you to be a doctor now that just walks into people's room and goes, I'm sorry to report, oh no, she's fine, she's fine, she woke up everything fine. Look, or actually better yet is being a doctor who walks into people's room and you're just like, I'm, she's sleeping or she's dead, I'm. We kind of like it's a real 50-50 shot right now. It's hard to tell when people are old. I crunch the numbers in my head. Oh no. My last note just says oh thank God that's over. I love that we took, each took a half of this movie and we've both watched the entire length of a film.

Honestly. And by love that, I mean, I don't love that. Look at the time stamp on this episode. We're almost an hour and a half in. We're 120, an hour and 24 and it's in. Oh my god. Well, honestly, this is our our our our second is our second is our second is our our this is our this is our this is our this is our this is our this is our, honestly, this is our second episode about it. We've done a terrible job. We've made Titanic into like two hour, two and a half hours of entertainment,

and I'm doing entertainment and finger quotes. We're as bad as James Cameron and we should be ashamed of ourselves. We're the James Cameron of podcasting. Yeah. So that was our errors and retractions, I guess. I do want to say that we got some really sweet messages from people about the original Titanic episode. I believe it was Ryan, a friend and fan of the podcast, he said, this was exactly the thing that he never knew that he needed in his life.

Was us being idiots for two or an hour talking about a movie that we kind of remember? That's a really nice thing to say when you actually describe what the episode was and how bad that was, yeah. I thoroughly enjoyed editing that dumb episode that we did. It was really fun. Of course, it's my pleasure. Thanks for doing this podcast with me. Oh, thank you for doing this with me. It's one of the greatest joys in my life. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi. Oh, thi. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's thi's thiiiiiiiiiiii's that's that's that's that's that's thi's thi. thi. this podcast with me. Oh, thank you for doing this with me. It's one of the greatest joys in my life. Oh, buddy, me too. What a time. What a life. What a time to be alive.

When I die, it's gonna go, I'm gonna go back to pandemic. Because it's the worst thing that's't wait to the build-up when I figure out what the most erotic thing that happened in my life was and I tell a room full of people. When I can't sleep tonight, which it will inevitably happen, I'm going to try to figure out what the most erotic thing that's ever happened to me in my life is. And the fact that I can't think of it off the bat means it's probably. It's probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probablyto happen like, you know, yeah, that one. Oh, should we say goodbye to these nice people? Yeah, by nice people. Be safe. Be cool. Thanks for sending an hour to half of us. Oh my god. Yeah, my kids awake. I gotta go. All right. Thanks for listening to another bonus episode ofwulf Ambulance. Another one about Titanic. Thank you. Bye. you