Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 1- Warlock (1989)

Episode Date: October 24, 2014

We wanted to wait until Halloween to get this episode out but couldn't stand it anymore! In this, the inaugural episode of Werewolf Ambulance, we discuss the "American cinema classic" Warlock. Is it good? Is it great? Is it terrible? You'll have to listen to find out! One thing is for sure: there is questionable fashion, mumbling, poor special effects and bad attitudes aplenty! Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast. 

I think. Hi, hey. Hey. Hi, Alan. Hey, we're off to a good start. Here we're off to a good start. Here we are. Welcome to another episode of WhereWulf Ambulance. It's a horror movie podcast where we first welcome you and then we talk about a movie. So welcome. This week we're going to be talking about a American cinema classic called Warlock. I guess it's a classic. It's a cinema if nothing else. And it is American. Yeah, I think it's American. Warlock is a movie directed by Stephen Minor, who you might remember from directing Friday the 13th, Parts 2 and 3.

He directed House and the American Horror Classic, Soul Man. I don't believe I've ever seen Soul Man. Oh, it's racist to shit. It came out like the 80s. Yeah, it's a C Thomas Hall in Blackface for the entire movie. Oh my God, you're kidding me. It's pretty great.

I did not know that. Yeah, racism in the 80s. It was pretty sweet. Is House the movie I love where the woman turns the woman the woman the woman the woman the woman the woman the Vietnam vet and yeah I really love that movie. Yeah Bull Shannon. Yeah and Norm from Cheers. Great film. It is also a cinematic cinematic experience. It's true and it's about as well-paced as warlock. Yeah I kept expecting warlock to end and it never did. It's actually still on in the background right now. We just gave up. That's not true.

I also meant to take notes on it and I only wrote one note, which is, why are these people not more upset by a man crashing through their window? I think I had expected to write down absurdities as they occurred and then the whole movie was just absurdities so I didn't write anything else down. Oh, I catalogued some sweet absurdities about this movie. I. I. I. I. I. I did. I did it it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did it. I did th. I did th. I did th. I didn't th. I did th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi thi te tode took toda. I also also also also also also toda. I also also today today today today thi thi. I just absurdities so I didn't write anything else down. Oh I cataloged some sweet absurdities about this movie but yeah I've always I'm always confused by the nobody yelling what the fuck when a thing happens and I rated our movie I feel you get away with what the fuck they say fuck on a number of occasions. They calls him fuck brain near the end of the film. Fuck a brain is an interesting insult. It's not, um, it doesn't th. It doesn't th. It doesn't th. It doesn't th. It doesn't th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. the thi. the thi. th. th. th. th. thi. the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their is their is their is their is their is their is th. I I I I I I I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's their. I's their their their their their thi. I's thi. I's thi. I'm te. I'm too. I'm too. I'm too. I'm too. I'm always te. I'm always th. I'm always th. I'm the th. I the film. The fuck brain is an interesting insult. It's not, it doesn't make any sense. So the movie stars Julian Sands, who you might remember from Gothic, the movie about the Shelley's

and Lord Byron taking drugs at Ken Russell movie, there's, yeah, I'll actually reference to that movie later. You can't see it right now, but I'm squinting confusedly at Alan. I've seen a lot more movies than Katie, I think, or a lot more bad movies than Katie. So Julian Sands, you might recognize it from Gothic, he was in Arachnophobia, the Remains the Day, I want to say, one of those Merchant, Iv merchant ivory Keenan Wayans movies and and and it's got who's the other dude that's in it I wrote his name to Richard E. Grant who's from Withnail and I and he played Dr. Seward in Bram Stokers Dracula and was

Brian on the hit TV sitcom wings. He was not the guy. Yeah, he was the crazy brother when they ran the airline? No, no. No. No, no. And it has Laurie singer from? Footloose.

She's aerial. She just wants to dance. But her dad's a reverend. their thi. film career seems to be wrapped up in some sort of weird religiousness. There's that. Yeah, that's interesting. I don't know that she's been in much else. I know her. Her IMDB page is not thick. Though I do think she's like a professional cellist now, so at least she... Oh, look at you drop in knowledge. I actually just saw that on Wikipedia when I went to see how there's a very big deal made in this movie of how she's 20 years old. And when I looked it up, she was 32 during the filming of this movie. It also has a brief appearance by Mary Warnow, who I was stoked that she's in this movie.

She's in Silent Night, Deadly Night, Death Race 2000, Rock and Roll High School, Night of the Comet, Terror Vision. she's just like a stalwart. Who was she in this movie? She was the, um, the seer, the seance lady that he went. Oh, the exposition lady. Exactly. I did not understand a word she was saying because she went into a trance and she was like, oh, wow, this is a gruble. And then he took her eyeballs out the eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye her eye eye her eye her eye her eye her eye her eye eye her eye her eye her eye her eye her eye her eye her eye her eye eye eye eye eye her eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye their eyes eyes their eyes eyes eyes their eyes eyes their eyes their eyes their eyes eyes their eyes their eyes their eyes their eyes their eyes their eyes their eyes their eyes their eyes their eyes their eyes their eyes their eyes their eyes their eyes their eyes their eyes their eyes their eyes their eyes their eyes their eyes their eyes their eyes their eyes their eyes their eyes their eyes out out out out out out out their eyes outthat was the exposition of this movie, and I did not understand a word of it. We should have watched it with subtitles. So I guess a brief synopsis.

It starts off in one of my favorite ways for a horror movie to start off, which is in Olden Times. Olden Times. Olden times is a good time. So it turns out, they're in 1691, in Boston which is relevant for I know so it's 1691 it's Boston Julian Sands is in league with the devil. He's a very hunky in this movie. Yeah yeah in like a ponytail D&D way. Richard Grant is the Highlander I think who's captured him. He's like sort of hunky and a Brian from wings kind of way

So so they've captured Julian Sands in league with Satan and then suddenly a storm comes up and they travel through time There is no unless the woman who's going roe-ar-ah-wo-explains it there is seriously no explanation of what happens next. It just happens. There's no, there's no reasoning. So they travel through time and space because they end up in Los Angeles. But not that much space, just like 3,000 miles. Right. Yeah. So they end up in Los Angeles and then you find out that he's searching, or no, he goes and sees Mary Warnoff and she tells him that he has to, I mean, she doesn't tell him, Satan tells him? No, someone, yes. I think it was one of the names for Satan or something. Oh, it was like Zama, Zamma, Zim or something.

So she tells him that he has to find these three parts of the grand grimoire or that's what she said Satan's Bible I thought she was ordering Chinese food so let's edit that out that wasn't funny I'll stop saying it stays in there every Chinese food joke stays so he then has to go and find the three parts luckily one of them's in the house he crashed it like it doesn't make any fucking sense what's happening so I'm just gonna skip over that he finds two the parts the the three the the th th th th three th three the th three three th three the three three three three th th three three three the three three the the three three three the the three the the the the the three three three the three three th. the the three three three three three three three th. three the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th. th. th. th. th. He three three three three three three th. He thi. He three three three three parts the. He three three three three three three parts. three three three three three parts. three the. the. So. So. So. I the. He's th. I th's in the house. He crashed it like it doesn't make any fucking sense. No happening. So I'm just going to skip over that. Yeah. He finds two of the parts in California and then they have to go back to a box. Yeah. And there's an Amish dude. Menonite. Sorry, no apparent reason. And the son is relinquished the faith, but they're still living together. Yeah. The son's got timetables and things that he needs to do. But that does lead to a, oh, I have to go back to Mary Warnow real quick.

So the scene where he takes her eyes. For some- It was cool and gross. I appreciated it. Originally the way itance, says, look into the eyes of Satan, stands up, opens her blouse, eyes on her boobs. Nice. So, which is interesting because the year before, this movie was shot in 89.

And the year before that, it wasn't released until 91, but it was shot in 89. So the year before that, Julian Sands was in Gothic, the Ken Russell, Fusts, he did not like that movie, that movie, that movie, that movie, that movie that movie that movie that movie that movie that movie that movie that movie that movie that movie that movie. that, Julian Sands was in Gothic, the Ken Russell, Fuckfest, I did not like that movie. And there's a scene where a woman says, look into my eyes, takes off her shirt, she's got eyes on her boobs. So that would have been two movies in a row with eyes and the boobs. So evidently, audiences did not like the eyes and the boobs, so it got nixed.

Can I also point out then that that means that Footloose was in 88, which means that Laurie Singer was 31 in that movie and playing a high school student, just saying. Yeah, she did get second billing in this movie. Yeah. Anyway. So yeah, yeah, I mean, there's just a lot of like, weird, like, she lived with a dude who gets, who's the second, the second, the second, the second, the second, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, their, the, the, th. th. thi, th. thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, th. th, th, th, th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th.................................... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, there's just a lot of like weird, like, she lived with a dude who gets, who's the first person to get killed, it gets his pinky jumped, or chopped off, not jumped off, chopped off, which did make Katie jump. I liked it. But that also had no real, I thought that the ring had some significance.

It was, he just liked it. It was just like it was a cool ring. Yeah. Yeah. decorative like it was just like it was a cool ring bitchy in order to take the ring yeah yeah but uh the guy who gets his pinky job trapped off is is gay and she's Laura Singer's being interviewed by the police about it and the cop I guess called the guy queer and she goes hey he was gay not queer there's a difference. And in 1991, there was? Or 89? I guess, I don't know. They didn't go into detail about what that difference might be. We were just supposed to know.

I also wrote down that everyone wants to fuck Julian Sands in this movie, because every time he walks into a room, every teat, their fucking stem to stern, hi highs him up and down, checks him out. Wet panties galore. Well, there was wet man panties as well, because every dude was checking him out too. Well, they were gay, not queer. I don't know what I don't want that to be a reoccurring theme. Let's abandon that, let's abandon that motif right here. I wrote down that Lori Singer's hair and fashion is whack. That's, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th there, the, the, the, the, the, thi, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th and th and th, th and th, th, th and th and th and th and th and th and th and thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the, the theat, theat, theat, thean, thean, thean, theat, theat, theat, theat, the the I wrote down that Lori Singer's hair and fashion is whack. I think that that's a statement we can say and then casually walk away from.

There's not much. She was sort of dressed like a, like she had gone like thrift store shopping and Logan's run like it was really wrong. It's a, yeah, it's a thing that like 90s fashion is coming back but it's that it's this aspect that everyone is just slowly backing away from it's not none of this is happening the giant shoulder pads yeah slip with a with tights on underneath it it yeah the space age sort of thing is not not happening we learned in this movie that if you boil down the fat of an unbaptized little boy can make you fly. I think all unbaptized children, or was it just specifically males?

Oh, I don't know, it was all children. I don't know. I should have paid closer attention. Tenoyle. Yeah, the little, the same little kid who dropped the line. My dad doesn't go in for Jesus and the 12 apostrifies. That was probably my favorite line in the movie. Maybe lull. Yeah, good kid. Poor kid. Poor kid. Good kid. Good kid. We are told that his mother believes he's been eaten by a coyote, which seems

seems a terrible way to think your child has died. It's true. But then then she's informed that he was actually murdered for his fat. Yeah. Hmm. Which might be worse. Way that one. Oh, I kind kind kind kind kind like like like like like like th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. theee. th. thee. th. theea. th. thee. th. the. the. th. th. th. th. th.. Oh, I kind of liked it when the old man was going on about the The signs of the the bewitching being sweaty horses and sour cream. Yeah, I here's the thing Horses are terrible and a sweaty horse seems like the most tea with horses. They're they're terrifying animals. They're just huge beasts that if you don't eat them, they will eat you. And so a sweaty horse just seems, you know, I don't know, that much worse. Yeah. So, I mean, I feel like we've gotten ahead of ourselves here. I'm sorry. No, you've got these notes. The premise of this movie is that the warlock, does he have a name or is he just the warlock Julian sense of him or is he just the warlock who cares he's a warlock

they never dropped the name for him I don't think he is trying to find these three pieces of this book apparently and our are our protagonists here Lori singer and Brian from wings what's the name redfern redfern you got it are trying to what's lorry, Redfern? Redfern, you got it. Are trying to... What's Laurie Singer's name? Ariel. No, it's Cassandra with the Kay. Are trying to stop him because putting this together will unleash all this evil on the planet.

Am I right in saying that? So far so good. It will destroy all good in the universe. So, so good. It will destroy all good in the universe. So same difference. Basically, yeah, that's pretty much it. Right, and they're trying to stop him from doing this thing. Oh, yeah. And they make a warlock kite at one point.

So Redfern comes to Cassandra's house and she basically has him arrested because he is he breaks into her home and is from the 1600s and punches her in the face and does punch her in the face which is seemingly uncalled for and I thought to myself wouldn't it be funny if the rest of this movie was basically just like a buddy comedy with these two and then I just missed the thought because why would they make that movie and then it turned out that that was actually the rest the rest the rest the rest the rest the rest the rest the rest the rest. the rest. the rest And then I just missed the thought because why would they make that movie? And then it turned out that that was actually the rest of the movie. So the rest of the movie was really just these two traveling around,

this woman from, you know, 1991 and this man from 1691, traveling around trying to stop evil. Traveling great dis- If someone had to walk somewhere in this movie, it took 10 minutes for them to walk there. But if you had to drive from California and to Colorado, scene cut, you're there. There's no driving, no fucking around with driving. And they flew to Boston, which took about 25 minutes of movie time I would say. It was a really

long airport. I mean it felt as tedious as actually flying in real life. That's one of my notes here is that the movie they kept trying to build tension with these long stretches of like looking for Julian Sand usually. Yeah. But it was just like oh would you fucking hurry up this is ridiculous and and like a long tedious scene in an airport is like a literal nightmare it's you know we all have I know what it's like to be in an airport for a long time you don't need to show me that on TV like I know yeah except I don't know what it's like to be in an airport with a weather vein that can be used as a javelin

because I live in a post 9-11 world. So that's not really all that familiar to me. You do, yeah, you live in a world without... Or pocket knives or also smoking a cigarette on a plane which you could do in 1991. Which I think is bullshit because I'm pretty sure they stopped smoking on planes in the early 80s. Really? I don't know. I sort of remember being able to smoke. Well, I don't know. I remember where you could smoke in the mall, which is really my touchstone for most things.

I mean, the first time I flew wasn't until 1990, so I can't really. Yeah, that's the first year I flew, I thr. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I remember, I th. I th. I th. I remember, I th. I th. I th. I remember, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I, I th. I th. I th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I think. th. think. I think. think. I thr. I think. the. I the. I the. thr. I th. I th. I th. I but you could not smoke on a plane at that point, even though they still had ashtrays on the plane. It's an hour and 43 minutes of a movie where not much happens. Like when he chops off the dude's pinky early on, I was like, oh, this is going to be fucking awesome. It's going to be more fast. It really jumps into to action pretty in terms of him, you realizing, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you thi, thi, thi, to to to to to to to to to, to to to to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th..... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, to to, to, the to, the to, to, the to, it's, it's, it's to, it's to, it's to, it where he sort of escapes from being executed, you're not sure if, you know, obviously he's a warlock, I guess, you know, you're supposed to think he's a bad guy,

but it kind of seems like Brian from way, I'm, it kind of seems like Redfern might be the bad guy. You don't know, you know, it's unclear. Until he just like he just like like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he's, he's, he's, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. the, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, the. the. the. the. the. the. the th. th. th. th. th. he. he's, he's th. he's th he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he. he. he. innocent gay dude's pinky, takes his ring and then, do we mention that he bites his tongue out and spits it into a frying pan? Because that's pretty hard. A frying band that was on and sizzling. Yeah, it totally sizzles. I was hoping he was going to eat the tongue after doing said thing. Yeah, and then it's like a quick cut to an to an to an to an to an to to to to to to to to to to to to that that that that that that that that's a that's a that's a th. And thi. thi. the and a the and a the. the the thi. that's a the the the the the that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's that's that's that's that's a that's a that's a that's a th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thin. thin. thin. tie. tie. tongeate. tonge. tonge. tongu. tongu. tongu. tongu. t waitress. Cassandra with a Kay where she's

a waitress. We're wearing the worst outfit I've ever seen on a human being. Which is just her street clothes. And I know no uniform. You know I'm a little older than Katie is and I grew up at that but that fashion era and I don't remember anyone dressing as poorly as that woman did. Yeah. There's really some some bold choices being taken. I don't know why I'm th. I I'm th. I'm that that that that that that that's that's that's the the that's the the that's their their their their their their th. I'm their their their their their their their their. I'm their their. their. their. their. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. the. I's. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm dressing as poorly as that woman did. Yeah. There's really some bold choices being taken. I don't know why I'm so hung up on what you dress like. Yeah, it's upsetting. It's a little massage unless I apologize. I'm not making fun of the Highlander dude constantly wearing a fucking wolf

belt through the entire movie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like that they drove across several state lines and they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they couldn't stop to get him a regular parka. I'm not giving up my wolf felt. And nobody like looks at him strangely. They go to a farm, they go to a gas station, and everybody's like, oh that man's in a wolf belt. It's fine. That's fine. I mean, the men and I did fucking took him in like a son as soon as he met him. He was like, oh, yes, you understand that I'm bewitched. Oh, Dr. Wolffeld, come in, please. There was a, oh, there's Lori Petty when she has her second interaction, Lori Petty. No, not Lori Pettie.

Lori Singer, when she has her second interaction with Julian Sands Warlock. He turns her old by thinking, putting the peanut butter incident on her. Oh, the peanut butter solution is a fantastic movie. Yeah, remember that Asian kid puts it on this? Never mind. Yeah, and this pubs grew real long. Yeah, I did not understand that when I was a kid. Those wacky Canadians.

They'll do anything for a laugh. Yes, Julian Sanz I wrote downiny says some Harry Potter shit and makes her old. Yeah, I found that part kind of offensive because she ages the next day to be 40 and then the day after to be 60 and like I guess that you know 60 you're looking at me be retiring in a couple of years and you know you're staring down to your own mortality at some point but she is straight decrepit at 60 her hands she's holding them like arthritic claws and she's trying to run after him and her

legs don't work and she stumbles and falls and she is talking like this and I'm like 60. I may be giving them too much credit but I just thought of early, like one of the first things you see from Cassandra with a K, Lori Singer's character, is that she is diabetic, she shoots herself with insulin. So is she aged at 60 in such a decrepit because she is not taking care of her diabetes for 40 years as she's aging in two days? Are they, I'm totally giving them way too much much to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tha tha tha tha? the th. th. th. th. th. the thi. thi? the thi. thi. thi? thi. thi? I thi. the their their thi. thi. thi. thi. their their their their their their one their one their one their one their one their one their one their one. I's, like, like, like, like, like, like, la? L. I's, their, their, their, their, their, like, like, thi? L. I, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thiiiii. thiiiiia? thiia? thia. thia. thia. their, lea. their, lary. she's aging in two days. Are they, I'm totally giving them way too much credit. That is very much a deep cut. OK. I don't know, but I mean, it's possible

because her diabetes does sort of play the checkoff's gun role in this movie, in which in one of the first scenes of the movie, we see her giving herself an insulin shot. And then it does come into play at the end. So who knows? This is produced and directed by the man who gave you Soul Man. So he does be bold choices. Yeah, I really wish I had seen Soul Man so I could.

Yeah, it's like an Al Jolson movie shot in the 80s. It's pretty great. I don't understand why that would be. I don't understand why James R. Jones was in that movie. Why? He's an American treasure. Because Sizzum sells I guess. But he has lots of money. He's fucking Darth Vader, he has tons of money. All right so we got that she's aging and accelerated rate. Which is... All right, so we got that she's aging at an accelerated rate, and an offensively accelerating rate. Which is stopped and reversed, merely by taking back her charm bracelet with some ugly-ass globes on it. Yeah, but that's pretty common, like folklore stuff.

We're like, you can stop Satan by putting a penny on his tail. Like that kind of shit. But I just feel like this particular warlock murderer of so many wielder of all power is just like... Is he a murderer of so many? Yeah he killed Redfern's wife and all these people in their village and that's what he was redfern was so upset about we just didn't see most of the yeah we were just told right and the exposition before that one was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I'm like. And again, like, there were so many in an Irish and Scottish accent that overlapped. Where is that man from?

Do you know him? Is he American? Is he European? He's definitely from the United Kingdom, but I don't know exactly where. He also seemed the entire film to just be baffled. I felt like he was just eyes wide open, looking wildly around, like like what am I doing here? Well there were definitely parts of that movie where I felt like when Julian's hands was on screen he's like this is the one take they're getting and I'm

walking to craft services and then I'm going to my trailer and F all of you. There's somebody waiting to give me a beecher in my trailer so I'll be back in a little while. And this wolf-p oh god poor Lori Singer. She actually had a line in the movie that was I did two years of high school ask me anything. And I was like this woman even if the actress is fine to be around she must be terrible like this this must be a terrible experience for everyone involved. Her character did not have a lot of likable traits. No. But no one in terrible. Like, this must be a terrible experience for everyone involved. Yeah, her character did not have a lot of likeable traits.

No. But no one in this movie. I almost wanted her to die, honestly. I would have been fine with her dying at the end. Like, can we get to the climax here? Yeah, I just wanted to say quickly, the only lik a thoeaaa. the only the only thoea. her house warden or whatever that guy was who was just take people in off the street. He was totally a good-hearted person. I really liked Menonite Grandpa.

It's true. I really liked Men and I Grandpa. He had about three lines. He was just trying to grow his crops. He didn't want to be bewitched. He was worried about the horse even that I had through the entire 90s? Yeah, I guess. Very emotional beard. Very emotional beard. He just, he was just looking out, you know. Yeah, he was worried. So you want to get to the climax now? I do. I do. And then I just thought about describing it and I like don't even know where

to begin. Well, before the Mennonites get him out of their barn there's like a five-minute scene of him it looked like it was just tripping balls because he's like got magic on his hand and he's just waving it around. Yeah just waving magic around. But the CGI is very like primitive I guess? I think that was just sell over so yeah I don't even mean CGI. You know what I mean. Yeah, the special effects were not so hot. But he's just, but he's clearly just looking at his hand like, I don't know. It's, it was, it was very silly. It was very silly. It was very silly.

It was very silly. Okay, so they find out that the third piece of the, remind me what it's called? The grand grimo that is the. They go to look for it. A bunch of garbage happens. It takes at least 15 minutes. Involving like a priest, a pregnant lady. The priest's wife. The priest's pregnant wife.

Obviously then was not a priest, I guess he was a pastor. The priest's pregnant wife. They're unborn twins that Julian Sands is going to give, it's going to turn into dead slugs or something? I thought he said slabs. I don't know. It doesn't matter because that's how everybody talks in this movie. They're not paying me to enunciate in this film. No, they're not paying anyone to enunciate in this film.

And they go to find them, you know what, can you just set this scene? Because I'm trying to describe it and it's seriously, when I'm trying to put it together my head, it sounds like I'm making it up as I go along. It sounds like I'm a kid being like, and then, and then, and then. So there's a book in the basement basement basement b b book, a book, a book, a book, a book, a book, a book, a book, a book, a book, a book, a book, a book, a book, a book, a book, a book, a book, a book, a book, a book, a book, a book, a book, a book, a book, a book, a book, a book, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they.a, they, they, they, they, they, they. they. they. they. they. they. the, they. the, they. they. the, the, the, the, the, the the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the the, the the the. they. the the the the the the the the thea. the thea. thea, they. they. the. So there's a book in the basement of the church that tells them that the last pages of the Grand Grimwar are kept in a crypt in this old cemetery in Boston. They go to the cemetery, whose gravestone is it? It's Redfords. The pages are on his corpse that died

300 years ago or some bullshit So he can't look at it Lori Petty's got to open the thing. It's not Lori Petty I wish it was Lord Petty is tank girl and she is dead. It's using an American classic film called point break and she's amazing. Don't say that you don't like point break. It'll make me sad on the genre. She's not really dead anyway. So just her careers. Just her insides. So Lori Singer takes the pages out from his cold dead hands, which he references earlier about the weather vein in a weird nod to the NRA. She takes them out. They realize that his grave has been moved, it's no longer unconsecrated ground, so Julian Sands can do his Julian Sands stuff, still no

wearing shoes. We didn't talk about him eating the weird pudding out of the bank in the air. It was so confusing. That's all you need to know, eats putting out of a bag and a cargo hold and a plane. That's all the context we had to so you're fine there's so much of this movie that's just left unexplained yeah so he does yeah Julian Sound works some bullshit magic shit and eventually gets the pages reunites the book and then oh Laurie Singer stabs in the neck were her diabetes needles and she's filled them with salt water because he threw hers in the neck were her diabetes needles. And she's filled them with saw water because he threw her ridiculously into the river. Yeah, that fight scene.

Okay, so, it, Redfern challenges Julian Sands to, I like how we just are alternating between calling them by their character's name and the actor's names and also names of things and other things like Brian from wings. And by other actors. And he challenges them to a fight with no magic and no no tricks. So like I've played enough D&D to know that a barbarian versus a priest in melee is like not very very... or a wizard really not a priest, a wizard is not a very fair fight, but yet somehow this wizard is able to pick up a human and throw her like 40 feet. It's true. And also that fight scene seemed to have been choreographed by me

age six. Like it was just so absurd. It's like they had they had the wires to fly them around for 24 hours and they're like we're gonna get as much use out of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of the their their their their their their their their f f f f f f f f f very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very fair very fair very fair fair fair fair fair fair fair fair fair fair f f very fair fair f their f their f their f thi thi thi th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th f very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very f. their their f their f their f their f their f thi thi the very fair the the the theeeeeeea theea thea' thea' thea' thea the the the the they had the wires to fly them around for 24 hours and they're like we're gonna get as much fucking use out of these things as we can. We paid for 24 hours we're gonna use 24 hours. We're gonna use 24 hours. We're to come down here and fill these things up so we're gonna make this happen. The wires wires, wires were standing their arms like waiting to roll the wires thi th back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back. to to to to to to their to their. the wires. to to the wires. to to the wires. to to the wires. to their. their. to to their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. to to to their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their, and we're using those last 15 seconds. Yeah, there's a lot of a lot of really weird wire work in this movie. Like Julian Sands is flying and he's just like,

he's doing tumbles for no fucking reason. I honestly don't even remember why I brought up the last scene. Did I want to say something about it? It was dumb. I feel like we're talking about this, this, is, is, is, this, liked, liked, liked, liked, I, I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi.. thii. thi. thii. thi. thi. thi. this, like we didn't like this movie, but quite honestly, I loved it. I don't know if I loved it, but it was enjoyable. I thought it was really funny. I mean, I guess it wasn't a comedy.

Yeah, but it was in that era of making horror films and kind of knowing what you're making. Yeah, not a moment of it was scary. You did jump when the pinky got cut off. I didn't jump because it scared me. I jumped because I was like yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck that guy. Yeah. Fuck that best dude in the movie. Well he also, I don't know. It was like a ponytail and ponytail crime which you know. Yeah his was a best like a shitty coke dealer. Yeah, it was the best, like a shitty Coke dealer pony tool. It was bad. It was very stubby. But I guess everybody has to start somewhere with a ponytail. You're not born with a good ponytail.

I don't know. There were no scenes where I was like, anxious or concerned that Julian Sands was actually going to get somebody. Yeah, no. No. And there was no... And also I didn't care if he did, like, the to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start to start, to start to start to start to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start to start to start to start to start to start some to start to start some to start some to start some to start some to start some to start to start to start to start to start, to start, was actually going to get somebody. Yeah, no. No. And there was no. And also I didn't care if he did, like kill them. I don't care. Right. And at no point to the, yeah, I didn't care what side one. Just take that woman with the 10th grade education. Maybe she took the last two years of high school. You don't know where she went. I skipped ninth and 10 and then then I th I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I didn't know. I the. I didn't the. I didn't the. I didn't the. She didn't mention, she got her GED and a master's degree after that, she just doesn't brag. It's true. I'm being a educist. It's fine, I've been caddy about her wardrobe this whole time. I don't have a nice thing to say about her, that's all.

She was sort of an anti-hero. Yeah, the just wasn't much. Because she tried to abandon the quest halfway through too as soon as she got her pretty, pretty looks back. Because she gets the charm bracelet back from the Warlock, you know, at about like the 45-minute mark of this movie. And then she's like, I'm out. She tries to give Redfern her car, despite him like being from the 1600s and it's clearly not know how to drive.

Bye. We're in Colorado, I guess I'll just walk. I weren't. Yeah, but to her credit, he did punch her in the face when he first met her. Yeah, but she also called the cops on him. And she did fall in love with him as well. Yeah, she did try to go to the bone zone. And she did to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to try she to to to th she th. tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho. thrown tho. tho- tho- tho. I'll tho. I'll tho. I'll th tho. I I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho. I I I tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. the. the. the. the. the. I the to to to to to tho to to to to to to to to to to to thoooo thooooo thooo tho tho tho to go to the bone zone. And he did say that she wasn't a goodly woman because she painted her face, which is probably true. Goodly women don't paint their faces. I don't, I think he came from a different time

when that wasn't necessarily true. I thought that was what we were talking about. All right, so I think that's pretty much all I have to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say th. pretty much all I have to say about this movie. Yeah, I'm... Oh, I didn't even talk about the score of this movie being done by Jerry Goldsmith. So Jerry Goldsmith did the music for this, and if you don't know, he did the music for the Omen, he did the music for Alien, he did the Rambo movies, he did the Rambo movies, he did the toylade zone, but he's done a a tons, he's done, he's done, he's done, he's done, he's done, he's done, he's done, he's done, he's done, he's done a ton of movies and like the score was really good, especially in the beginning, it kind of slatched off as it went on, but

like it's a really good score for not a really good movie. Yeah. I wonder if like Jerry Goldsmith has just done so much work that he has like all these little pieces, sort of like a seamstress who's made so many dresses, all these scraps lying around. This was was like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like th. This was like the th. This was like the th. th. the th. th. the th. th. th. th. the th. the th. He's a the the th. He's a th. It's a the th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a really, it's a th. It's a their. It's a their. It's a really, it. It's a really, it. It's a the the their. It's a the their. It's a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a the. It's a thee. It's a theeeee. I's a theee. I's a really. I's a really, the. I's a really. It's a really. It's a really lying around and like... This was probably a swimming pool movie. I need another swimming pool. Yeah, exactly. So we could do with this one. Yeah, and he just like reaches into his closet.

He's like, you can have this and this and this little piece over here I'll do. Yeah. And they were like, thanks. So I said before that I loved this movie and I don't think think that I don't that I don't that I don't that I don't that I don't that I don't think that I don't that I don't that I don't that I don't think that I was lying. This is sort of an era of movies the mid to late 80s and I would even really extend up to the early 90s that, because this movie came out in the early 90s that is really kind of precious to me in horror as it was really when I got into horror and a lot of movies that I really love. A lot of movies that I really love, a lot of movies that I really love. I agree that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th is th is th is th is thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi love are from this time period, whether they're good or not, that I really love.

I agree that this was a prime era of films. Like I, there's part of my brain that thinks that film, like, I love the 70s and early 80s so much for horror and just film in general. That I kind of think of like, because I was in high school in the late 80s, early 90s. God, you're old. I am. So I sort of have these weird associations with this time period, but no, there's some amazing films that came out in this time period and some of my favorite movies around this time, but like I just have a hard time rationalizing that, I guess. So if you were to give a numeric rating, how, thia, thia, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I, I'm, I'm, to, I'm, to, I'm, I'm, I'm, to, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, like, like, likeic rating, how would you rate this film? See, this movie, like, it's not good.

No, you can't make the argument that it's good. The acting is bad. Right. The pacing we've discussed is terrible. It is terrible. Everyone looks like they wish they were dead. I wish they were dead. Everyone wishes they were dead, except Jerry Goldsmith, who's got a swimming pool out of this movie. But it was really fun, and so if I'm looking at this like, if I'm in Blockbuster RIP,

like, would I rent it from Amazon? Julian Sands would be hot as shit on the front cover of the box. Yeah, totally like hair blowing in the wind. Well, he's got strands, you know. Um, I feel like- No, it did have really good poster art too. Did it? Yeah.

I believe you. I like, I don't know, I feel like it's like a five out of ten? Out of ten. In terms of like, I would reach for it,. Yeah, no, I would agree that it's probably a four and a half, five star movie, like, you know, the thing being 10 and that. Here comes, here comes like the workings of your brain in terms of like the spectrum. Yeah, I mean, you know, Avatar being one. Yeah, I recommend to somebody. Yeah, I mean, well, my friend Josh is the reason I suggested this movie is he, he recently, he, you, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi. Yeah. But, yeah, I mean, well, my friend Josh is the reason I suggested this movie is he recently

mentioned it to me as being a film that he really enjoyed that neither of us had seen when it came out. And he kind of said a lot of the same stuff you did that it was fun and it just, it's sort of reminded him of that era. Yeah. And he's younger than I am to say You know he was probably coming coming of age and his liking of horror movies at that point in time as well Horror puberty or horror puberty, yes puberty. No, yeah, that's what it's called. That's when you get horror puves

Oh, oh oh, oh oh oh oh! Oh. Oh. So you would recommend this? I would. I think it's a good light. I mean, I wish it was about 20 minutes shorter because part of the thing that I enjoy about that era of horror is that it's like solid 85 to 90 minutes. Like it's a get in, get out, like. When it's done well. When it's done well.

And this is just entirely too long. But other than than than than that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I th th th th th th th th thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I th, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I th. th. th. thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi. thi, I thi. thi. thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thii. thi. thiii. thii. thi. thi. thi. th, I think it really follows sort of the template of shitty horror of that time, which is that it's not really like taking itself too seriously. And it's bad. It's silly. And I really like silly horror. So I'm in. I don't know if I'd recommend this, but I would not to dis- from watching it by any. You mean you wouldn't like rip it from their hands and throw it into the river.

But I would probably suggest 10 movies that they think represent the year of better that they should watch, but that's just me being a pain in the ass. Well, that's all anybody has to say about warlock really. I think this is the most words that have ever been said about warlock. We have written the book on warlock. You're welcome Steve Minor. So, all right, well I guess this is where we say goodbye. Bye guys. See you see later. Thanks for listening to Where Wolf Ambulance. the you