Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 102- Holidays (2016)

Episode Date: October 3, 2016

In this week's episode we get deep into the holiday spirit with the 2016 anthology horror film "Holidays." Special topics for your consideration include: an inadvertent St. Patrick's Day celebration, the real weirdness of zombie Jesus, Ace of Base and what they really wanted, the career choices of Sean Astin and Allen's holiday knowledge quiz bowl.  Have you seen this one? What did you think? Which segments stood out to you? Let us know at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Twitter @werebulance or on Instagram @werewolfambulance. Please also check out our sponsors! It's the greatest month of the year for our pal Jason at Cryptocurium, where you can get a Parcel of Terror delivered to your door. Check it out at www.cryptocurium.com. It's also time for a brand new Seventh Church Ministries zine! Check out what Mike has going on at www.seventhchurchministries.wordpress.com.  Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast. 

It's the holiday season. I'm pointing you to do the backups. I don't know this one. You just repeat it. It's the holiday season. So boop-de-boop. And I don't know. And don't forget. I don't... I don't flip-any-flop and don't forget I It's not really the holiday season is it eight more days to Halloween Halloween Halloween eight more days the Halloween silver shamrock you guys Can see it but I was dancing it's kind of a silent thing it's also like what like an entire month

until Halloween yeah and then a month still Thanksgiving and then a month still Christmas and then we're dead. Dead and a ghost. Katie, I have a trick-treaty scented candle here. Oh, is that really called trigger-treaty? Yeah, I bought it from like some witchy candle company. Ooh. It smells like... Candles. Children? I don't know. What is that? I keep getting closer to the flame. Yeah, it's just... Put that down.

I also got you a pumpkin filled with fun-sized candy bars. I know, I've so far had a Twix, a Milky Way, simply caramel, and small snickers, the square snickers. So why do you put candy in front of me? Because we know we're going to record something and it's like... We're chewing a podcast about a Halloween-themed movie. Yes, amongst other things. And our favorite holiday, I think jointly is Halloween. Yeah, for sure. And it's the month of Halloween, which is a month-long celebration.

Yes. Look a regular Milky Way. It's got to be my last one though, because I'm going to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make though, because I'm going to make myself sick. All right. It probably won't be. I'm always eating. You guys hate it. Have we ever gotten a comment about the eating? No. They're delighted with it. I don't think that's true.

I think they just toleree. Anthology film, anthology film, not film. Film. On the Netflix, I had a problem calling this a film. And it's a lot of things. And it's covering eight different holidays. Before we get into it, Katie, I have a guessing game for you. Ooh, I love a guessing game. I have here 12 holidays.

Okay. I'm gonna go through them. You're gonna tell me whether they're real or not. Okay. January 7th, old rock day. That can't be real. It's a real holiday. Foc. February 3rd, carrot cake day. That I believe. Yes. I love carrot cake. March 26th. St. Patrick's Day. Make up your own holiday day. That is not true. It's a thing. Oh God I hate everyone. April 11th. It's pronounced donkey like monkey day. Brought to you by the national advocates for donkeys, mules and asses. Dunkies? Is that your inflection or theirs? No, it's pronounced donkey like monkey. Real or not real? Real? Now I made that one up. God damn it.

May 6th, no pants day? No. That's real. June 4th, hug your cat day. Every day is hug your cat day. Every fucking day. Is that one real though? Yeah, it's real.

July 19, Stony Brown day. Not real. Not real. Is that the probably short's character from his team? It is. I didn't know if he had a last name. August 30th, Frankenstein Day? You look you just gave me is like, you better get this one. I'm going to say real. It is real. What is the date on that one? August 30? It's that like someone's birthday? It's his birthday? Frank is his birthday. It was a big storm. Big storm that day. September 19th, or September 16th, forgive me. International horses rights day? That is fucking false. Yeah, I made that one up. Thank God. Let's not celebrate them for a minute. November 30th, Computer Security Day. Actually, I think October is computer Security Month, so I'm going to say no.

It is real. It doesn't seem like a holiday, though, does it? Most of these don't. And finally, December 14th, Monkey Day. Pronounce day. Is that true? It's real. Oh, man. So all of these holidays are covered in this movie. They might as well be. I mean, it's very strange. th. It is. It is. It is. It is. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thu, thu, thu, thu thu thi. It's real. It's real. It's real. It's real. It's real. It's real. It's that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. It's th. It's th, is th, is th, it's th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's thi. It's real. It's real. It's real. It's real. It's real. thi. It's real. thi. thi. thi. thi. theeea. thi. thi. theea. thii. theea. It's thea. It's thi. It's this movie. They might as well be. I mean, it's very strange. Dunky day.

I was very proud of national advocates for donkeys, mules, and asses, by the way. I believed it. Yeah, this movie is a, it's a movie. I really liked the 80s since intro. Yeah. Is that where it stops? No, I also really liked the greeting cards that. Yeah. Is that where it stops? No, I also really liked the greeting cards that separated each. Oh, those are beautiful.

Yeah, I thought it was a really, between each segment is the sort of a greeting card animation for the holiday that has just been shown. And it'll say like happy New Year's and then the happy will disappear. Yeah. Yeah. I actually thought they were pretty well done, but. It's cute. And there were one or two that I thought were good. All right, do you want to go one by one through them? Sure.

Also, before we get into that, please, did you notice that all of these were about women doing terrible things? Yes. What is the the the the definitely heavy on the terrible ladies. It's heavy on the terrible ladies. And especially the first one starts off that way. Yeah, it's a girl who is an outcast and she's like in love with her high school diving coach. Mm-hmm. She's being bullied. Yes, being called Maxie Bad because her name is Maxie. I mean like sure. But they're like really aggressively bullying her. Yeah for sure. And I feel like girls aren't that aggressive. That's not all girls bully. That's how boys bully.

Girls bully through like manipulation and ostracizing. Not so much the aggressive in your face. It did feel like it didn't ring true. Yeah. Like the aggression, yeah, it didn't ring true for sure. Definitely written by a dude. So we find out that the diving coach needs a heart transplant. Yeah. And he's like just picking students to send a Valentine to? Yeah. It was very weird. He like changed the name to say Maxine.

Yeah. Fine. Because he was going to write it to the blonde lady who's torturing Maxine. Okay. Why? Is he really having an affair with that girl? I don't know. Okay. Okay, cool. So Maxine gets this after being tortured repeatedly by this, this girl. There's a whole group of them, but it was a specific girl. They're off a diving board. She's being pushed off. It would take forever for her to get up there and push her off. Yeah. He's a terrible educator. Tara, Tara, no, terror, come on, Tara.

God damn it. That's literally how you were just talking to the dog. Yeah, but if someone's acting like an asshole like that, that's they have to them to dive anyway. No? No. No. I was on my high school's diving team for one year. Whoa, I did not know that. Yeah, I was terrible at it. Really? Did she just belly flop every time?

Um, well, I had done some gymnastics work when I was younger. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, I know I could And so I could never quite shake that to go in head first. Oh, got you. So like I could dive in and I could do like a one and a half, but after that I would get like kind of weird about going into, you know what I mean? I do. I just always wanted to kick out and land on my feet.

But just not, not how diving. Just stick. I. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I could. I thi. I could like. I could like. I could like. I th. I could. I th. I could. I could. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could like. I could like. I could like. I could to. I could just like. I could just like. I could just like. I could just like. I could just like. I could just like. I could just like. I could just like. I could just like. I th. I Lindy from back to school that Rodney Dangerfield does. Probably. Yeah, because he's like flipping and dipping and just going nuts. What an American legend. God damn, what a perfect movie. So I just, that was recently, I read a list of like the worst movies ever made and that was on there. Holy shit, that can't be true. Yeah, it was. Oh, it's got Polly, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's it's got Roddy Dangerfield. They did not consider those. Oingo, Boingo is the party band?

It's so good. I don't know, I can't remember what else was even on the list, but I remember back to school was. It was probably the thing, everything Alan likes. Yeah, it was definitely. Everything Don Notts ever did. I have the note about this segment, this is fantastically dumb. Yeah. Yeah.

Also flip-flops, not a shoe. The girl's like running in flip-flops and she uses one of them. Why don't wear flip-flops, they're not shoes. For showers. Maxie... Or you're going to get warts. Do you know what I'm saying? Platers, yeah.

Yeah, they go to a doctor. You duct tape them. Duck tapes them. Yeah. You duct tape over a wart and then it dies. Oh, real thing that can really work. Oh, congratulations. Oh, congratulations. Thank you. No, I felt good about it. Why did I say congratulations?

You said it well nod had to pass. Dr. Scholl. And this is my duct tape. It's not, it's not a great thing for me. Dr. Scholl's duct tape. Yeah, it's all it takes. So Maxi follows this girl into the woods, hits her in the face with a brick. That was pretty okay. Yeah. Cuts her heart out with a box cutter? That would take forever. You're gonna get through that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. tap. tap. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tapeck tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tap tap tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. You gotta get through that rib cage, dog? I didn't think about the rib cage. Yeah. And then she shows up at the coach's front door, holding it in her hands, which I did kind of like. The girl was like, what are you doing to get him a new heart?

We organized a talent show. Well, she got him a new heart. When you see my twerking routine. Yeah, some real Nicky Minaj shit, I think she says. She did. Yeah. And it just kind of ends with the teacher staring like quizzically like a German shebored confused at her. And that's the end of it. Yeah. And then I was like, oh, that's how this is going to go. Yeah. And that's actually one of the more shining the more the more the more the more the more the more thiii the more thi more the more thi more thi more thin the more thin thin thin thin thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the more thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi te te te te te te te tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea is so fucking weird I didn't know what to

make of it. It's the St. Patrick's Day one. Yeah. It has it does contain the phrase cynical wheel of self-loathing which I wrote down because I was like I'm getting that. I need more knuckles to get that spelled out. I like the girls misspelling under one on the one test that said magical horse. Yeah. Horse. Yeah, horse. That's pretty funny. It's about a teacher in Ireland who wants a baby, I guess.

Yeah. And she has a new student, a little girl. All that she wants is another baby. Going tomorrow. Wait, what is that song about? Is it about just using someone for their sperm? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that that that th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, their, thi their, thi, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, thi, their, their, tho, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, I I I I I I I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, their, their, their, their, thi. I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. I thi. thi. togu. thooooooooo-s. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Is it about just using someone for their sperm? Yeah. That seems like not something you would care too much about, you know?

She's gone tomorrow, boy, all that she wants is another baby. Hey, hey, hey. That's weird. It's like someone found out about what the woman in that one heart song, all I want to do is make love to you, because it was just the woman woman, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi, that that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, thi, thi, thi, and that, thi, and thi, and th, and th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, th, thi, that, that, that, that, that, thi, that's, that's, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's thi.a.a. that's that's thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, th woman in that one heart song, all I want to do is make love to you, because it was just the woman like driving around trying to get pregnant. Yeah. It's like somebody found out what she was doing and is now ratting her out to the dude

that she just got a little. Yeah. And another baby, where are the know that one of those guys is a former white supremacist? No, I didn't. Where are they Swedish or Swedish? You never know what the Swedes. You can't trust them. You can't trust them. They're tall and they flat pack all their furniture.

They're beautiful. Yeah. And evidently, one of them in a nation their base, in their base, in their, in You know what I mean? Like, who do you even feel better then? Maybe he was just accidentally, and like by default, he fell into that. He just like was watching TV and was like, oh no. That's weird. Very weird. So there's a weird girl in her class. Yeah, whose name is unpronounceable. It's like, grung. I'm sorry, I do not know Gaelic.

No, neither do I. The teacher tells her to smile, and the girl doesn't want to smile. And then she gets a note that says, only your deepest wish can make me smile. Yeah, and there's like a rolled up, I don't know what is that made of? It's like a little like it was made of like like paper towel or something like a snake that was on it. Yeah it was rolled up like a sneak. Yeah. Then okay so then it's St. Patrick's Day and she goes out drinking with her sister I guess and wakes up in a backseat of a car wearing a

leprecon dress like a leprecon. And she has this like unrolled piece of paper towel. She like holds it up in front of her. Oh, it's a snake skin. That's, oh, I thought it was the thing. No, no, it's a snake skin that was in the car with her. And th keep up with. And then she gets pregnant, she finds out she's pregnant. Right.

She goes to the doctor. She's like super happy to be pregnant because all that she wants is another baby. Oh, that was really a terrible version. We are a lot of things in Ace of Bases, just not one of them. But the nurse who's talking to her is like, amazing. Just this is not how you talk to someone about a potential bad pregnancy. You know what I mean?

Right. She just keeps calling it a reptile. But it's a reptile. Which, like, they let her leave. They don't seem that concerned, you know? And then I kept thinking like, if you're so desperate for this baby, why didn't you just like hit up a sperm bank? You know? They're screened, they're clean, you know?

Also she looks like she's like 24 years old. Yeah. Cool your jets. Get some chill. Then we see a little thing on the screen that says a year has gone by. Right. And she's still pregnant. She's losing her goddamn mind. You would be too. I guess.

No one else seems concerned about it. Her sister, we keep hearing her sister through like voicemail messages. Yeah. Something about like a Danny Zuko wann-a wann-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s. thi-s. thi-s. thozyzyzyzyzyzymea-s. thozymea-s. thozymea-s. tho-s. thozyzyzyzymea-s. tho-s. tho-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s thi-s thi-s th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s-s-s-s-s-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-s hooked up with and then that she's making appointments at the zoo. Yeah. And then she's like you didn't show up at your appointment of the zoo. Maybe you should have picked her up. Like maybe you should have gone with her. You know? When is the scene with the mouse in the bathtub? That's after the mouse in the mouse in the bathtub? That's after thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoom. thoom. thoom. thi. thoom. thi. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoomb. thoomb. thoomb. thoomb. thoomb. thoomb. thoomoo's thoomoo's thoomb. that's that's that's that's that's that's moo's moo's moo's mououzeh. I's moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. thoom. thoom. thoom. I's, thoom. I's, thoom. I's, thoom's, thoomb. She's, thi's, yeah. She's in the bathtub and like holding a mouse over top of her hoo-ha business. Yeah. And then blood just spray sounds. Yeah. I think this is where I have the note. I literally just yelled what out loud because I did. I was watching us and I was like, what?

So then we see her in a field and she's talking to a Danny Zucco look-alike and the young Irish girl. Yeah. And they're like very chummy. And they're like, oh, that's your kid over there that all these people in like terrifying masks are prancing around with. Who were those people? What were those masks? I don't know. So then we see that they're carrying a giant snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake snake the snake the snake the snake the snake the snake the snake the snake the snake the snake the snake the snake the snake the snake snake snake and when we see the snake's head, it's got a pompadour. I loved that and hated it all at the same time. I loved it and I hated it.

I'm a hundred percent agreement with you on that. It was like being tickled, you know what I mean? Yeah, of course. Oh, God, stop, stop, stop. Stop. But the snake was so smiling. It was sort of delightful. And that's just, and she's like, oh, cool. And then like embraces it. Yeah. Because they were, oh, the Danizucco is like, oh,

she's got to run screaming. Yeah, like you would. She was like, oh, let's do this. Yeah. Man, St. Patrick's Day? No. No. I hated it pretty heavily in college, despite my liaage of being full of people who hate the Irish. I did at one point own House of Fame clam digger shorts.

Whoa. So I may have inadvertently celebrated St. Patrick's Day. I think you did. So that's St. Patrick's Day. I think you did. So that's St. Patrick's Day. Yeah. Then next up is Easter. This was one of my favorite ones actually the Easter one. We do an Easter? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's, you do this. So there's a little girl and our mom's explaining to her about Easter and saying like, you know, it's fine just go to sleep and in the morning they'll be eggs. And candy, yeah.

I'm stoked. Yeah, Easter candy. Yeah. Speaking of. I'm not. I like this, what am I gonna get? What am I gonna get? Little baby snickers.

So she goes to sleep. So, she goes super ominous. No. Maybe the way you would just kind of hint to a kid, like, just go to sleep. Well, look, the kids asking about zombie Jesus. Sure. Which is very confusing and weird. Yeah, yeah. I would say it for years. So she wakes up in the middle of the night to pee. And when she does, there's something scurring and hopping around the house. Yeah. It's a baby bird. Yeah. Well, there's something bigger that we kind

of see for a second, like, hop behind her. But she sees this bird and she goes over to it. Yeah, a little chick. Once there was a bird in my house and I seriously scream and ran out the front door and slammed it behind me, you would not react that way to a bird. What if it was a little fluffy chicken? It was a tiny baby bird? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, the th. th. the th. the th. the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. theee. to to to to theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. the. the. th. It was a tiny baby bird. And I turned and ran, screaming. I thought it was a bat, though, in my defense. Then I stood outside and yelled. At the bird? No at Rob, who was doing nothing to help me get rid of the bird. He was like, I gotta go, bye.

My friend Kason came over and got it out with that towel. Kays is is is is is is is a a the god the god is a the god the god is a the god is a the god th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoombent. th. thoombui. thoombent. th. th. th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t today. today. t today. today. today. t t t t t out with that towel. Kays, it is a goddamn blessing. She really is a blessing. So. Because I was just going, it was a baby bird. Baby bird. I know, I'm just so afraid of it. She's seen its fags.

That was terrible. So, um, so then something else hops in to see her. And it's a man crouched down, just wearing tidy whities maybe? Yeah, he asked for the diaper-esque scenario. And when he stands to his full six-foot something height, and you see his, he produces a baby chick out of the stigmata in his palm, which I loved. I loved that. I loved that. Best magic trick. And then you see his face and he's like a deformed rabbit man wearing a crown of thorns. Yeah.

It's rabbit Jesus. And he's got like the wounds in his side. He takes the little girl's hand and sticks it in his spoon-wounds. He doubting Thomas' her! Like what the fuck? That's pretty, pretty good. Yeah, it was brilliant. Yeah. But then he's like, now that you have seen me, you must become me, like the dread pirate Roberts or something. But it's like, hey, zombie, Jesus Bunny?

Like you were not being covert at all. No. He's like, no one who's ever seen me before. No shit. Because you were seriously just sprinting around the living room like a lunatic. But then and it just ends with her? Well he gives her egg communion. Oh that's right. He pushes the egg into her mouth.

Oh yeah, which was real gross. I think it was supposed to be like a. Oh yeah, yeah. I didn't think it was anything like sexual. It's just like the idea of Christ is just so planned. I would probably go. Maybe like ecto cooler and robin's eggs. Yeah, I mean, even the wine is fine, but it's like, it's this dumb cracker, you know?

Doesn't tasks. But if it had that multed center's tons of Halloween peeps now. Yeah, like the Scrink, Cadbury Scream eggs, yeah. Give me that, give me that Robin's egg. What would they, uh, how would they twist those? Mmm. Dragon's eggs? No, that's just medieval times. Yeah, yeah, that's just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just that's just that's just that's just that's just that's just that's that's just came that's just came that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that of throats. Yeah. Fuck. I don't know. Nevil times.

It's pretty sweet to be honest. Well, we'll think on that. If you have any suggestions, listeners, let us know how they should market Robin's eggs to the Halloween set. Yeah. It's not for us. It's for you. We're just here brainstorming, but you guys have to bring this to fruition. Yeah. So then it's like this shadow, you see her in shadow basically

like shaking and turning into a bunny. I like that they did it in shadow. I loved that one. I think that was probably my favorite or maybe second favorite. All right. Okay. So on to the next one. This I hated the next one. I hated Mother's day. th. ones? Oh, Mother's Day sucked. I kind of was like just like to breeze pass this one as quick as possible. Sure, it's basically this girl who gets pregnant every time she has sex, she's talking about how she makes her boyfriend double bag it and I was like, well that's particularly ineffective because they get the friction. Yeah, what are you doing? Like didn't you take high school health class or something? And then that was when I started wondering, what is the deal with all of these being about girls and babies and pregnant women? All of them up to this point are girls, babies are pregnant.

Right. So, basically, she keeps going to the doctor, she said a million abortions. She just gets pregnant every time she has sex. The doctor sends her to this it's a witch's coven. Basically. They do a payote ceremony, which sure, fine. Why not? But then I don't understand what happens from here. They like... Well, Satan shows up and rapes her. Okay. And he was speaking Spanish, which comes up again later and this kind of bothered me too, but go on. And then she's pregnant again, because Satan raped her. And because none of these women in the Witch's Coven can get pregnant. Yeah, it seems to be women who are going there to help with their fertility, who are trying

to get pregnant and are unable to, yeah. So they, she gets pregnant with Satan's baby, then they're keeping her drugged and when she tries to escape, she runs into the desert and she falls in the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, their, she's, their, their, their, their, she's, she's, she's, she's, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, sheau.eau.eau.eau.eau.shau.eau.eau.eau.ea, seemsea, seems. Shea, because someone knocks her down. Yeah. And all you see of the labor is her start screaming, and then a man's arm come out between her legs. Yeah, that was it. That was it. I don't know. I did not like it. No, I did not like it.

It was probably the second most bummed I got at one of these. And I guess we should mention these these these these these these these these these these these these are thi thi the their their their their their their their their their their their their the you these are all written and directed by different people and I think this is the only one that was directed by a woman. Yes. Which I was like, come on lady. Yeah, do better. I, with all of these, I feel like there's a kernel of a good idea in all of them and some of them are just brought better to fruition. I don't think any of them are perfect, but I think the th not brought to its fruition very well, but I thought it was a great Set-up. The Father's Day? The Father's Day? Okay, so tell us what Father's Day? So father's day? It stars Jocelyn Donahue, who is in House of lost her father. She gets a package. She gets a package, that's right. It says Happy Father's Day on the car, yeah. And there's an old-timey tape player from like the 70s,

and a cassette is in there, and she listens to it. And it's her father telling her that he's sorry that he had to leave, and he misses her very much and wants to see her to see her, and wants to see her, and wants to see her, and wants to see her, and wants to see her, and wants to see her, and wants to to to see her, and wants to to to to to to to their, and wants to their, and to to their, and their, and their, and their, their, and tape, and tape, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tape, tap to the last place she saw him. Yeah. The last place they were together. And when she gets there, flip the tape over and listen to it. I thought this was a fucking phenomenal thing. Like, super good. Super good. Yeah, just so good and creepy and weird. And like.

She's listening to a conversation that he had recorded with her the last time they saw each their their. recorded with her the last time they saw each other, which is really good. And they're at, I don't think they ever say it, but it's obviously salt on sea in California, which is this like town that was supposed to be like the next Las Vegas and next like get away from Los Angeles sort of town, but the sea went like that big huge lake that was there, got super salty and everything died around it. Oh, no shit. I didn't know that. So that's why everything looks so crazy and crusty and just gross. Because I was like, good thing this neighborhood didn't get gentrified. You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah. Because it really would have gotten fucked up. You know, this whole thing. She would just like, I don't I have to go now and she's like, I don't want you to go as a little girl. And then I'll be like, turn left on Elm. Yeah. And like, he'll change his voice.

And like, he's he's talking to the adult version of her. Oh, it just give me shiver bumps. It's just like the planning that went into that. Like I thought that was really cool. So it eventually leads her to this abandoned, it looks like a bank maybe. Yeah, it was some sort of, it looked like a commercial building for sure. And she walks in and her father starts to talking to someone else on the tape. Yeah. He's like I'm here for my appointment. Yeah. the tape says like, you know, tells her to go around back basically.

And as she's walking back there, she steps over a line of salt. Oh, that's what that was. Okay, that's where bad guys. And then like, he, like, her father's in there and he's like a CGI vampire. And so, like, all the way up to that, it's like, dude, this is fucking radical. Yeah. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, of salt is just that little, like, it's just a little. And you're like, you know. They make a big point for stepping across it. Yeah, yeah, this threshold. And but I love that it's not like,

she doesn't go, oh, a line of salt. Like, that it's just this thing that because I thought it like kind of spoiled it. Yeah, well I kind of didn't, until you said CGI vampire, I didn't realize he was a vampire. He may not have been, he might have been something else. But why was he doing that? Why is he a bad guy? I don't know. Why are they always bad guys? But that like this was the one that left me with like the,. Yes, very much so. So it's good. That was a good one. Yeah, I really, that's probably my favorite one out of all of these. And then we're going to talk about my least favorite one next. The Kevin Smith one?

So I got beef with Kevin Smith kind of across the board. Is it his pants? Or no. No. It's not the, I think he needs a second, he needs a no-man to be with him. Sure. That's just like, dog, come on, you're smarter than this. Yeah, I mean he's made some movies that are genuinely good. Clerks is unbelievable. And for that to be like your first thing that you drop on the world. But even the things he did following that, Mall rats, the thatts, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they, thi, they, they, they, they-I thi, thi, dog, thi's, thi, thi, thi, thi, dog, dog, dog, dog, thi, dog, dog, thi, thi, thi, thi, dog, thi, dog, dog, dog, thi, dog, thi, dog, dog, thi, thi, dog, dog, dog, dog, thi, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's, thi's, they were I was a teen you sure sure I like mall rats like chasing Amy's

when for me it started falling off and I hated dogma and I didn't really like it to the try to the the the Mac I wouldn't say that it's bad I think it's not for me and then there's just been this like series of like I don't even know what else he's the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the the the the th is th is th is the th is th is the th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th. I thi I thi. I th. I'm th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't the. the. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I's th. I's th. I's th. th. I's th. th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. the. the. the. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. the. the. th. I's th That movie Tusk that he did about the guy who goes to it's a the Mac not the PC from the Mac PC commercials. Justin Long? Yes. Not judge John Hodgman my hero. He goes to Canada to interview some like crazy scientists and the guy turns him into a walrus. Yes that's the hilarity ensue or? And when I was looking at pictures, I was trying to figure out, because Kevin Smith's daughter, Harley Quinn Smith, yeah, way to go. She's on with the funny voice, right? Yes.

Poor thing. I was trying to figure which one she was. So I was looking at pictures. And there's a picture of him and there's a picture And there's a hard person to dislike Like I know you know what I mean like yeah I've tried listen so harmless I guess is my point. It also drives me nuts that he can't talk without swearing like he can't oh really like if you listen to any of his podcast but fucking shit fuck man fuck and it's like you like like like like with swear words like a whole sentence of swear words but I also think like there's there's smart stuff that he could be doing and he's like it kind of

dumbes it down or maybe I'm giving him more credit than I should be yeah well let's talk about his segment which it's the Halloween which I was like this is gonna be dopeto be dope. Halloween's the best. Why wouldn't you do a dope best thing for Halloween? And it has nothing to do with Halloween. No, the only real thing is that they make a joke about hollow Ian. So it's a, this scumbag porn producer who lures women to his porn producer house. Torn producer house. To be a cam girl. But it's like, it's like it's not porn. You're gonna be fine like And of course it's born and his name is Ian and he has breeds Yeah, yeah, and he's wearing a t-shirt says pussyhavor

It's he oh yeah, it did and the front end on the back. What have it comes up late oh, that's true, which I liked I thought that was funny. Yeah, oh, I guess that was his website. Oh, thirty. th, I that. that. It that. It that. It that. It that. It that. It that. It's? it. It that. It that. It that. It that. It comes. It comes. It comes. It comes. It comes. It comes. It comes. It comes. It comes. It comes. It comes. It comes. It comes. It comes. It comes. It comes. It comes. It comes. It comes. It comes. It comes. It comes. It comes. It comes. It comes. It comes. It comes. It comes. It comes. It comes. It comes. It comes. It comes. It comes. It that. It that. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It comes. It comes. I. I. I that. I that. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. I th. I th. th. th. I th. I th. th. I th. I funny. Yeah, oh I guess that was his website. Oh, probably. Yeah. And so he's super, super, super, super, super, super, super shitty to these women, like. And he's a very strong Midwestern accent, which I thought was strange. I thought it was just a strange casting choice. I have this man who has a, it sounds like he's from Minnesota. I really wanted to see what his hair look like th th th the hair th th the hair th th th th th th the hair th th th th to look like th th to look like to look like th th the to look like to look like the the the the the theat to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their s. their s super super super super super super, thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. tip. tip. tip. tooo I don't know. Oh and one of the girls is watching a cartoon about witches and the other one comes in and goes you know what three witches together are they're a coven. Yeah. So eventually there's three girls sitting on the couch and he comes in he throws Halloween like shitty dollar store Halloween at them. To be their s. To be fair they were they they they they they they they they were like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like d. Like the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their s. their s. their s. their s. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. their. their. their. their. their. their. them. To be fair, they were Mary Janes. Oh were they? Well they were in the basket that he took them out of, so I was like, well it's not so bad. Oh it task, and then... And then they hit him in the head with a toaster. He has it

coming. Oh yeah yeah, yeah for sure. I mean he's a absolutely irreprehensible human being like, and so he wakes up and I was like like, yeah, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, oh, they, oh, they, they, oh, they, they, oh, oh, th, th, th, th, they, they, th, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it, it, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's like, it, it, it, it's like, it's like, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, it's like, it's like, that, that, it's like, that's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, being, like, just gone back. Literally the worst. And so he wakes up, and I was like, oh, do they, they put a camera up his ass? Because there's a really thick cable coming out of his ass. Out of his underpants in his butt hole. It turns out they put a vibrator hooked up to a car battery up his ass. Can you hook a vibrator up type that into the internet. I'm not not doing it right now. And there's some musicthing called Dildomatic Vibrinator, which is a heavily powered vibrator made so by rigging a vibrator up to a car battery or any sort of gas-powered.

Yeah, I guess. I mean, it seems doable. What have things come to when that's like, well, I guess I need to do this now? Doing this, doing this will cause the vibrator to exceed in power exceed exceed exceed exceed exceed exceed exceed exceed exceed exceed exceed to exceed to exceed to exceed to exceed to exceed to exceed to exceed to exceed the to the the to the the the to the the the the the vibrator to exceed in power tenfold, which I find it hard to believe that a single vibrator is the equivalent of like one-tenth of a car battery, while also increasing sexual pleasure to the highest degree. Highest degree! There is no degree higher than the Dildomatic vibranator.

Also, like, the hashtags on this on Urban Dictionary include Dildomatic Vibernator. Also like the hashtags on this on Urban Dictionary include Dildo vagina, things that you would expect. Also Daffodils, John Stewart, and Abraham Lincoln. Who are you people? So it seems like it's just electrocuting him though. Yeah, it seems terrible. And because, you know, I can't imagine it's really well wired once it's up his stuff. No, and they do say they glued his butt hole shut around it. Sure, fine. Like, whatever.

So they keep shocking him in the ass and then tell him to cut his own dick off. They're basically doing this through the cam chat. Because they have had to put up with so many terrible things through it, right? Yeah. Sure. And so he does cut his dick off. Well, they're telling him to make a pussy. And then she says, make it hollow, Ian. And that. And then she says, lull. And I was like, oh, I see it was a joke. This is another one of those things that I think is like a really good kernel of an idea,

like Camgirl's turning on their oppressor and killing him? Like, that's, that could have been handled so well. And then it's like done in the most like juvenile possible way. Yeah, like, just just thi. Just just just just just just just just just. to stick. to stick. to stick. to stick. to stick. to stick. to stick. to stick. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi. Like, thi. Like, thi. Like, th. th. th. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. th room. Yeah. And they were like, oh, that's a lot of blood. I thought that was pretty good. Yeah, that was pretty fun. I mean, again, he's not a dumb dude. He's like, and he's funny. And come on Kevin Smith.

He was the only director I had actually heard't recognize any of the stuff that they had done, so. Okay, so nothing worthwhile. No, I don't think so. Okay. So now we're on to Christmas. There was no Thanksgiving. Yeah, why this gift Thanksgiving? I don't know. Maybe Thanksgiving was so good that they just couldn't.

It's Thanksgiving. It's a movie about, it's watched the first five minutes of it and had to turn it off, but I would be willing to try it again for our holiday season. Do you remember when the Grind House movies, the Quentin Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez, and they had those trailers in between the two? Yeah. And one of themto the house and killing people? No, I don't remember that. And it had the great tag line at the end, it was like, white meat, dark meat,

dark meat, all will be carved. And like that was like, it was really fun. That is fun. She read, that's the guy from Rothstocks. Sorry. He's comedy though, right? Right, right. And it's got the guy from Boyman, got the guy from Boi's world. Yeah, Ryder Strong? Yeah.

Was he responsible for cabin fever, patient zero with Sean Aston? I don't know. It's really bad. It's like really beyond bad. How did I watch that? Somewhere else would I see it? It's just like, oh, Sean Ashton's in this, it must be okay. Like, but I guess I mean, because he's not like, he's probably not hurting for money. He's like a respectable guy.

He's not like out, Nicholas caging it up and having to like get money. Right. He must not be feeding his children because this movie was so fucking bad. What, why would inspire you to do this. It was so bad. Okay, that's all. Patient zero. It was like the reason my blog died where I was making this MS paint thing is because I started to do patient zero and I just like couldn't even finish it. I was like I can't even draw this. It's so bad. What was the one that you just drew people, you and somebody else eating soup? Oh, um, Antichrist? That was great. That was a really weird.. It the thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. It is just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just a the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I was the. I was th. I was th. That was great. Yeah. It's really weird as eating soup and going, That's comedy movie I saw that year. I know. Chaos rains. All right Christmas. All right Christmas. Let's get into it. I really like this because you know how I feel about Seth Green.

How do you feel about? I just love him. He's adorable. He seems like an alright dude. All right dude and like a fine actor I feel like yeah. As soon as he comes on screen you just feel like oh yeah I mean when we did it like he's the one he like comes on screen and like fuck that dude's got presents. Yeah he's super charismatic. So in this it's that set up of their being you being the one toy for Christmas you have to get your kid and the store closed to the thi. And the store the store to the store to to the store to to the store to the store to to the store to the store to the store the store the store to the store the store the store to the store the store. You have to have to have the to have the the to have to get to to their their to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. You. You. You. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the their. the their. the. the. the. the. the. the. the So the guy that has left the store before him has the thing. The U-V-U-V-U-Voo? Yeah. It's which sounds like something having to do with fertility. Oh yeah.

Yeah. I guess Ova is what I'm thinking of. So the guy, this like rich guy is leaving the store and he's like, oh what and you just get here earlier? It's Christmas Eve by. And then he like has a heart attack and spills his pills all over the ground, right? And Seth Green's like, oh my god, I'll con and one one, but then he doesn't. Nope. And he takes the thing off the guy's front seat, steps on his pills. Because he's getting texts from his wife that are like,

did you get it? Did you get it? Yeah. Please tell me you got it. Uh-huh. Oh, he got it. Yeah. So he gives it to his kid for Christmas and the kid loves it. It shows the thing the thing. So it showed the kid

like walking on Mars and he was super hyped on it. Yeah that is pretty cool. Yeah. When Seth Green puts it on it's just him dominating a woman. It was pretty funny I guess. It's done comedically anyway. Yeah yeah it definitely belittles him while it's doing it. Yeah and then he's like like freaking out and like, how do I clear the memory on this thing? Yeah, because it doesn't log in. Later she's like, you forgot to log out, but I didn't log in. He just placed it on the bridge of his nose. And meanwhile, his wife is complaining about how our boss didn't give her a bonus, He goes to work and he comes home and his wife had watched his video or whatever that was on. Yeah, oh yeah, after he saw him self-dominating woman, he saw the scene of him taking the thing

from the guy, he took, saw it from the guy's perspective. Right, leaving this guy to die. Yeah. So his wife sees that and it's the sexiest thing she's ever seen and like, and like earlier they established that they're th, and th, and th, and th, and like, and like, and like, and like, and like, and like, and like, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, they, they, they they, they, they, they, they, he's their sa, he's their sa, he's the sa, he's the scene, he's the scene, he's the scene, he's the scene, he's the scene, he's the scene, he's the scene, he the scene, he's the scene, he's the scene, he's the scene, he's they, he's they, he's they, he's they they they thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, the, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, they's they's the the, thi,'re not, they have like a non-sexual relationship now and like she immediately wants to bone as soon as she sees that. Yeah. Which is weird. Sure. The whole thing is weird. Then he wakes up and sees the glasses on her side of the bed, puts them on and sees her murdering her boss from her boss's perspective where she's wearing like a Christmas elf outfit and like a tarp. Did you think that they were gonna like, when she the the the the the the the the the the the th, w w w w w w w w w w w w w w- th, w- th, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, w- thi, wi, which thi, which thi, which thi, which thi, which thi, which is thi- thi- thi, which is weird is weird, which is weird, which is weird, which is weird, which is weird, which is weird, which is th, which is th, which is th, which is th, which is th, which is th, which is th, which is th, which th, which th, which th, which th. Which th. Which th. Which thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. Which thi. Which is thi. Which is thi. Which is thi. Which is thi. Which is thi. Which is thi. Which is thi. Which is thi. Which is weird, which is thi and like a tarp. Did you think that they were gonna like when she first walked in the office I was like oh he's gonna see her boning her boss. It's actually I was like oh that's so disappointing and then it was like oh she killed him all of them. Yeah she gets very dexter about it. Yeah I liked this one. Yeah I liked this one yeah I thought thi thi th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that thi thi thi thi tho tho tho the the thi the thi tho tho tho th. I was like th. I was like th. I was like th. I was like thi thi the thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi thi. thi thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi upper echelons of this. And it was the most competent acting of all of them.

Yeah, I thought a house of the devil lady did really well. Yeah, she did. Especially because she was acting against nothing. She was just doing her own. Like freaking out on the phone yelling at her mom. Yeah. All right. On to New Year's Eve. This is about the terrorist of online the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the terrors of online dating. Yes. It's so, it starts with this man who is a scary guy, and he has this woman in his basement. He's had her tied up.

It seems like he's had her there a while. He keeps taking photos of her on different holidays. And then on New Year's, maybe not on New Year's, I don't know. He shoots her. Yeah, really incompetently. Yeah, he keeps jamming the gun? I don't... Only putting one bullet in and then wondering why it's not the one that's shooting her? I don't know. Yeah, it was very bizarre.

That's how Russian roulette works? I think so, yes. And this one I have the, when it started, I have the, this one's worse than the jump? Well, maybe not. Okay. So he goes back to online dating and finds a woman who's interested in going out with them. You see it from her perspective where she's sitting on her couch eating ice cream and she looks at her computer, looks at his profile and is like, well, it can't be any worse than the last one. Yeah. And so you feel like immediately sorry and protective of her. Yeah, yeah. So they go out and they have a weird meal where he's like just kind of super awkward with her? Kind of super awkward. Yeah, kind of super awkward for sure. His teeth are all jacked and he keeps talking about how nice her teeth are which is weird. Yeah. It's so strange.

And then she was like, why do we go back to my place? And he's like, what, huh? I know? I was like that too. Yeah, because she's like, I don't want to be alone on New Year's. Yeah. So he goes into her bathroom. Well, first she grabs his junk. Oh, that's right. And then he walk into the apartment. Takes his coat from him. Yeah. And she turns, I was like, we's, we's, we's, we's, I. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to oh Which is when he puts her toothbrush in his mouth, which is literally the grossest thing in the entire movie so far

Just like horrifying. What tell me what happens? He opens the medicine chest? That's right and it's filled with little jars with parts of people's bodies and he's like oh, what the fuck? And they're all labeled and there's an empty one they's the threats? Oh, what the fuck? Oh, the the the the the the the the th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's thu? Oh, th. Oh, the the the the the th. Oh, the the th. Oh, the the the th. Oh, the the the the the th. Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the the the th. the the the th. the the th. the the the the the the the the th. the the the th. thoooooooooo's th. th. tho tho tho th. th. Reggie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, which is my man. Which is this guy. Your man kind of sucks. Yeah, he's terrible. And then she kicks open the door because he's planning on like killing her and she kicks open the door with an axe and bust the sink apart and like... Yeah, I liked that. Yeah, yeah. And then he falls into the bathtub where there's a dead body. Yes. And so she kills him with the axe. They like scuff on fight. Yeah, yeah. But she's also yelling in Spanish all of a sudden and I was like, what was she? Yeah. I didn't even notice. Yeah. And I was like, why are the bad guys often speaking Spanish? Hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. It seems strange to me. Yeah, that was weird. I didn't even notice that. Yeah. Yeah. And so she kills him and then the end is just sort of her her. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. just sort of her bearing the axe into his head. Yeah. You know, now that we're describing these scenarios, yeah. I think I liked it more than I thought I did. Oh, well, why don't we move on to the...

Rhellings. Also, I guess that woman really is. She's Chilean. Oh, okay. But she didn't seem to be chill. I they didn't they didn't they didn't they they they they evil, which I just thought was a little bit weird. That's all. Oh, guess who she's married to?

Kevin Smith. Eli Roth. Oh, she's actually very funny. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, really? Oh, really? Oh, really?

Lorenza, Iso? Yeah. Yeah, she was fine. So Katie. . Yeah, yeah, she was fine. So Katie, brood-dick-birth. I thought I hated this, but now that we talked about it, I had fun. I don't know if I just had fun here or I don't think I thought I hated it but I felt very yikes about it. So you don't have the note this movie's a turd? I don't. I don't because I liked the

Easter segment and I liked the Christmas segment. Um, no, that's it. Yeah, okay, so two out of eight is a 25%. So I'm gonna give it a, I can't give it a two and a half, that's too low. Wasn't that bad? You gotta give it what you're feeling. All mea, well, let me just do some math really. I think what you're vibing on right now is the, what I was talking about, well, these all have like a good kernel and as we're like kind of talking through them, it's like, oh,

there's like some really good ideas in here. Yeah, that's what it is, but just not well executed in a lot of, in a lot of cases. I'm going to give it a six. Okay, okay. I would say this is fine for you to watch. I wouldn't dissuade someone from watching this. A lot of it was fun. Even just like the weirdest parts of it, like the snake having the pompadour.

Oh yeah, that's delightful. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean, yeah. It's pretty fun. I love it. I think I would give it, I'm scratching my beard. Can you guys hear that? They might actually be able to. You're listening to the microphone. Yeah, I was.

I'm going to give it a 4.6. 4.6. Yes. For any particular reason or just for funzies? Well, because I think I really liked most of the Father's Day one. And that was my favorite one. Yeah. I had fun with the St. Patrick's Day one. Yeah. I had fun with the Christmas Day one. Yeah. And the rest of them, and Jesus Bunnyman was good to that's what they call Easter these years. Jesus Bunnyman. Jesus Bunnyman. But I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I th. I th I th I th I th I th I th I th. Well I th. Well's what they call Easter these years. Jesus Bunnyman. Jesus Bunnyman. But I think I have so much love for really well-executed anthologies.

Like, creep show. You can listen to our creep show episode. Trick our treat. You can listen to our... I love the original tales in the Cripp from the 70s, which we haven't done yet. I've never seen. I've never seen. It's got Joan Collins in it. She gets attacked by Santa Claus. You know how I feel about Joan Collins, which is to say I fucking love her.

Super dope. We should do that. Okay, great. And like the amicus stuff, Too disjointed for the- I think that's just like, it's just too uneven. Yeah. But yeah, 4.6. Like, I'm not gonna talk about you to watch in this.

I just like the 0.6. It's a new step for us. Yeah, because I want to give it a five. I want to four and a half. You know what else is better than a four and a half? Man, your segues? They're just so good, right? It's like so good, right? You do it so much better than I do. It's like so good.

Cryptocurium. It's like the sportsiest we're going to get on this. It's that chant right for the treat box. They were being mailed this week. You're fucking done. There's nothing for you to do here, right? Well, the trick box has been mailed this week. The treat box, September 30th was the last. So you can't do it. You can't do it.

So I don't know what we're even telling you to do. and it's full of amazing handmade stuff by our friend Jason. Beautiful. Plaques, magnets, there's artwork from other artists, there's stories, candy stickers, all kinds of crazy shit. Candy again. Candy, oh speaking of, I'm actually feeling a little sick, but what is there anything I haven't had? You're starting to wind down so you might need another little blast of sugar for here at the end. I've already had one to two of each of them. And there's a lot of variety, so. It's a little snick.

But so Cryptocurium parcel of terror is $35 a month. You get all of this awesome handmade stuff from Jason. Yep, he's doing the series of movie posters like for the burning and creep show and all this awesome things. Cryptozoological wall plaques that your house is now festooned with. They look great. Yeah. All of his stuff amazing we can't hype you want it enough but we're gonna keep doing it because you need to do this. Cryptocurium.com cryp-cur i-i-m dot com thirty five bucks a month it comes to you delivered to your door and then the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. And the the the the the the they. Because because because because because because. Because. Because they. Because they. Because toe's they-Icocococo. Because toe. Because toe. Because toe. Because toe. Because toe. Because. Because. Because. Because toe, because. Because. Because. Because. Because. Because. Because. Because. Because. Because. Because. Because. Because. Because. Because. Because. Because. to to to to to, because. Because. Because. to, I I I I I's. Because. Because. to, I's. And, I's. t t t t t t t t t t t tttt they. they's. they. they. they. they. they. the they. the t they. the t t month, it comes to you, delivered to your door, and then you'll have it. You won't have to worry about it anymore. Yeah?

You are worried. Don't be worried. Don't worry. Don't worry. We'll take care of you. Hey, EMTs. This ish-Im. This zi. This zin will be based on the works, the works, the works, the works, the works, the the the the the the the the the th, the th, the th, th, the to, the to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to work, to work, to to worry, to to to worry, to to worry, to worry, to worry, to worry, to worry, to worry, to worry, to worry, to worry, to worry, to worry, to worry, to worry, to worry, to worry, to worry, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to worry, to worry, to worry, to worry, the the the to worry, the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to worry, to worry, tories is proud to release the new zine from Justine Jones.

The zine will be based on the works of Clark Ashton Smith's intricately and beautifully detailed pieces perfectly fit with Smith's strange and wonderful tales of sorcerers, necromancers, flower women and giant worms that cry blood and freeze worlds. Smith's work is completely nuts and Justine's mesmerizing work brings it to life. Additional prints by Jen Woodall and Alan Brown. Mike included links that I can check out these pieces before anybody else sees them and they are incredible both of this prints and I also follow Justine on

Instagram where she is at TAN underscore which and her stuff is amazing you definitely want to see this Jen Woodall is funeral beat on Instagram Alan Brown is underscore Medus a wolf underscore on Instagram and all their accounts are amazing and well worth your time and this zine is going to be awesome if you're a fan of Clark Ashton Smith or not, you should be. You should read some Clark Ashton Smith. It's really good. If you like stuff like Lovecraft and contemporaries of that time,

you're really going to enjoy Clark Ashton Smith. So this zine is going to 50 copies. It's 20 pages, nine illustrations, and as always, hand assembled with screenprinted covers. So you want to go to 7th Church Ministries, 7th spelled out, dot WordPress.com. That again was 7th Church Ministries.org. Or follow them on Instagram at 7th Church Ministries. So something exciting. This is really exciting news, and great for this season, great for this time of year,

the Halloween time, so get stoked, get out there and order this stuff. And let Mike know that you heard about it from us, thanks. Katie, you want a little mail bag? Yeah, I today, I've got some mail bag from Twitter. I can, is that possible? Yeah, we got a correction on Twitter. Oh yeah, I saw this. At Wondercat, double-07, says, you pronounced Sillian Murphy's name wrong in the last episode. It has a hard sea.

So it's Chile and Murphy, and we apologize for the air. Oh, I thought it was silly and Camerphy. That's probably right. Oh, but thanks. Yeah, I've been mispronouncing that name for so many years now. Also, I said I don't speak Alec. In this episode. We have another mail bag from Twitter from at, um, dash, OK. That's a great name. Said, I listened to six episodes of to. thiaeeeeeeck. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. thii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's. that's. that's. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. thi. thi. thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. Oh, that's said I listened to six episodes of where will fambulance today and so should you Oh boy buddy

Oh, pal. Are you okay? Do you need to help? Do you need us to send someone over? Do you need an EMT? You might oh, I'm so sorry No, but thank you. I wonder which six it was. Oh, yeah, can you let us know that if it was good ones or bad ones? they're the bad. th. th. the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. their th. th. th. th. their their th. Oh. th. Oh. th. Oh, th. Oh, their their their their their th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. th. th. th. th. their. th. th. th. th. their. th. their. th. their. th. the th. the their. their. their. their the was. Oh yeah, can you let us know? Yeah, let us know that if it was good ones or bad ones. Maybe they're bad ones now? Phantom of the Paradise is kind of a bad one because remember we were just recording it through my laptop mic. Because we just got so confused in that episode. Oh, man.

Oh, man. Oh, wen't. fucked up episode in a while. I know we've been... Come in. No no no I'm just touching wood. You seem to think silent night deadly night was a terrible episode so. I feel like we were really off our game on that one. I was really depressed. Yeah. I was super depressed. Yeah. And it just like, I feel like we just went scene by scene and told you what's happening in the movie. And then? It was like, the movie. And then? It was like Silent Night, Deadly Night for the Blind. Like we were just like. And if you can use it for that great, great. If you're blind, you might like it. Although we do describe him, I remember as being like a Ken doll.

So you've probably never seen a Ken doll. Well, that's sad. Yeah. We're gonna do another movie next week.. Yeah, what, oh, Pick Me Up! Yeah, what are we doing next week? Katie, we are doing our second David Kronenberg movie? Yeah. The fly from 1986. Jeff, fucking. Bug-eyed, gold-blum.

God, he's so good. And Gina, fucking thi. And John fucking gets. Oh that's his name, yeah. I could not remember it. I knew it. I did. And that's and David Cronenberg is I got a cologist but that'll come up next week. Really? That's Cronenberg? Weird. But yeah, um, we're gonna talk about the fly and... that's not at all what I imagined him to look like. Okay, we'll talk about about it it it it it the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I to to to to to to to to to to that's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I try. I try. I'm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I are gonna go throw up on some donuts now. And you guys come back next week and we'll talk about the fly. He throws up on donuts. I know he does.

I just looked at you. I'm wearing the shirt. I'm wearing a shirt with a donut on it. I've eaten a significant amount of candy. So you may be going. I'm gonna throw up on my tits. Puk on your tits. Thanks, still seeing to another episode of Where O'Famians. I just died. Bye. the