Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 112- Christine (1983)

Episode Date: December 12, 2016

After wayyy too many weeks spent pondering what was happening in cinema in the early 2000s, we've gone back to the 80s (and Stephen King and John Carpenter) with the boy-meets-car, boy-falls-in-love-with-car, car-ruins-boy's-life classic "Christine." Special topics for your consideration include: very serious discussions of science and philosophy, less serious discussions about mechanophilia, even LESS serious discussions about the series "Friday Night Lights" in which it is revealed we can't remember a damn thing about it, and Allen attempts to explain how drive-in movie theatres work, despite not actually knowing how drive-in movie theatres work. It's a goodie.  Do you like this movie? How do you feel it fits in the Carpenter oeuvre? Let us know in the comments at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Twitter @werebulance or on Instagram @werewolfambulance. You can also email us at [e-mail]; we love to hear from you. While you're on the internet, please please consider going to iTunes and give us a rating/review. It really does help more people find the show. Don't forget about our sponsor for this week's episode! Cryptocurium's monthly subscription box, the Parcel of Terror, full of amazing handmade horror stuff, is the perfect holiday gift for the horror fanatic in your life (or, let's face it, yourself. You deserve it.) Sign up for a subscription at www.cryptocurium.com. Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast.   

Sometimes people really do fuck cars though. He definitely fucks this car, right? People definitely fuck cars. This car gets fucked. Wasn't there a television show about people fucking cars? Really? And like bridges and stuff? Ooh, it's a, it's a, I guess a fetish, would you call it? Called mechanophilia? It's a sexual attraction to machines such as bicycles, motor vehicles, helicopters, ships and aeroplanes.

This is my, I've referenced this on multiple episodes, specifically in the Silent Hill episode. When you see the no-face big booby nurse and you go, fuck, that's my thing. Yeah. Like there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's the the the the the the the th. There's thi thi thi's thi's thi's thi's thi, I's thi, I's th. I's th. I' th. I' thi, I's thi. thi. I' th. I's, I' th. I' th. I's, I' th. I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. tho. th. th. thoo. th. th. th. th. that, th. that, th and you go, fuck, that's my thing. Yeah. Like there's got to be that moment of like, oh, god damn it. This is what it is, this is what I get. I get a bridge, I get a motorcycle? Apparently in the UK, you can get on the sex offender's register if you're caught, fucking a car. Is it like a public decency thing? It's just like, it's a sex crime. Stop fucking cars, dog. Don't fuck that car.

You know, it's sort of a victimless crime though. I mean, I don't know if we want to get into this, but like, if you're gonna fuck something that doesn't want it, might as well be a car. Oh, jeez. Oh was a big transformers fan? Yeah, probably. Or Turbo Teen? I don't know what that is. It's a cartoon from the 80s. Yeah, where a kid turned into a car. And then it got fucked. Is that what you're saying?

Welcome to another episode of your favorite weird podcast that talks about things that got fucked. Wherewolf Ambulance. Hi, I'm Katie. I'm Alan. I do not fuck cars. Alan? No, no, no, I'm good. It's like, I have no off-street parking first of all, you know? Where am I gonna fuck this car? Is that the thing that's holding you back? No.

It's that milkshake I spilled in the last Stephen King episode. It still smells a little. It's just like nothing is good in that carola. Except it's gas mileage. So it's the partner rather than the act that's the problem right now. And the lack of convenience, the lack of privacy. I thi. It, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's th, it's th, it's that, it's, it's that, it's that's that's that's the the the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's. the the the the th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. the that, it's the the the the the the the that's the that's the that's the that's the that's that that that that th privacy. I mean, okay. Had you said to me, 10 minutes ago, how do you think the beginning of this podcast is going to shape up? I did warn you that it was tasteless, which I think was fair. I wasn't wrong. What was your intro? Let me hear it now. Oh, Humb-bub-bobbobbbub.

Hey Katie, bobbbbub-bub-bob. You want to ride? Well, this gets really weird now after the conversation we just had. Exactly. Oh boy, sorry. I was just going to pretend to be a car and give you a ride. And then play weird, do-up-o'- be like. Or bad to the bone, which this movie opens on. Like a Delaware Destroyers, bringing it. It had never occurred to me before this movie how silly George Thoroughgood is and how silly his life is. Before we get into

Thoroughgood we are talking about Christine based on the Stephen King book directed by Tom Carpenter I believe the only time they ever teamed up. Yeah. And starring Keith Gordon and, uh, fucking Harry Dean Stanton. I don't care if he's only in this movie, like, 20 minutes. It's fucking Harry Dean Stanton. I don't know if he's only in this movie's a movie. the last episode where I accidentally disparaged Harry toonstan, where I said, you asked if I was into him and I said, uh, yeah. I don't know if I made it in, but I realized I th. th. th. ththat I was thinking of Harry Connick Jr., which is like a terrible mistake and I'm sorry.

And Harry Dean Stan is great. I love him and alien, it's fine. Sure, Repo Man? Yeah, man, the guy's amazing. I just saw his name. I just saw his name and thin, I was like, I've made a terrible. for that. I love that you not unlike myself will see a thing that no one will remember and two weeks later go oh god damn and I've done an awful thing. It kept me awake that night because I was like these people are gonna

think I hate Harry Dean's stand because I said so they're gonna think I'm an idiot. Harry Connick Jr. That's understandable. Yeah, I'm a fucking weird face. So George Thurgood starts this movie out in a annoyingly time period inappropriate song. Yeah right that song did not exist. No there's the rest of the movie is populated with songs from the 50s. Yeah. And then the one that starts it off in the 50s is from the 70s. Maybe that's the flip-flopped like. It's such a silly song. So it's a factory where these Plymouth Furies are being manufactured. There's for some reason one red one and a bunch of white ones, which is like,

that's not how factories work, but okay if you say so they say so. they're just cigarette smoking, just cigarette smoking in there. And they're just smoking, just cigarette smoking in there. The 70s, so much cigarette smoking. the horn in the car. But it it it it it it it it it, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, there, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there's there. There. There's their, their, their, their, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their.. Yeah. Also they're like blowing the horn in the car. Did horns definitely, did horns have different tones like that in old cars? Like a high and a low and a medium? Maybe I don't know. They should have never stop doing that. I guess that's how you could get La Cucaracha to play. Yeah. I wish that horns still had doing that. I guess that's how you could get La Cuccaratia to play. Yeah. I wish that horns still had different tones.

Because it'd be nice I wanted to be like, oh, I see you're looking at your phone, but the light just turned green, just like a poop. And then one that's like, oh, you're a motherfucker. And then just a sup dog? Yeah. me when I'm on the street though. I did not beep at you one day when I saw you on the street. I was just like, I saw Katie. You shouldn't have thrown that coffee cup at me though. I thought that was rude.

Kitty, you asked me not to beep at you. I had to get your ti-sump. I'm out of the tiwit. So rude. to see of white cars. Um, I think it eats somebody, doesn't it? I sort of forget. It chomps out on a dude's hand with its hood. Oh, right. And then that one guy who's been in a bunch of other movies and I can't think of his name right now, sits in and ashes in the front seat with his big old cigar? Yeah. And then 10 minutes later they find him but he's dead in the car's the factory? Because it was evil? I have a lot of questions about the car's motivation. Okay, sort of the car it was a method actor and it wanted to know where it was starting from. Right and I feel like nobody told it and I feel like that's John Carpenter's fault. The next note I have just says the

body of a slut which I don't know what that's in reference to. Oh my god. Oh my god, that's thi the th. That's th. That's th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the thi thi thi the thi thi the the thi the the the the the thi the the tho thi the the thi tho- tho- the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. the. the. the. the. the. the that's in reference to. Oh my god, that's pretty far into the movie. Well, well, this is a tough one. We meet our main characters, which are Keith Gordon, who is Ardy. Arnie Cunningham. Sorry. And I was looking at a different page that wasn't my notes. And his best friend, who was played by not Kevin Bacon. John Stockwell is not Kevin Bacon for sure.

And they are seemingly lifelong friends, because at this point in their lives, they are very divergent. One is a very tiny nerd, and the other one is a big old jock man. They're very unlikely. But we're not told that they've been friends for a long tipipipipipipipipipipipipipip. , they're they're they're they're they're their one is a big old jock man. They're very unlikely, but we're not told that they've been friends for a long time. We're just supposed to accept that they are BFFs. Yeah, and I think the John Stockwell's relationship with mom and dad of the nerd boy

kind of establishes that they got some history. But he's like a caretaker. Yeah, well, because mom's the the the th's g's giving's giving's giving's giving's the the the the them's their's their's their's their's their's their's their's their's their's their's their's their's thi's thi's thi' to to tooom's thi Uh, I would love to talk about Stephen King and his dislike of moms. Yeah, he just has so many issues. It's like, save some for the rest of us, you know? He's got so many books to write them about all of those issues. It's true. I mean, think about how many of his books are about shitty moms. Oh yeah, and how many great ones are about shitty moms? Carrie would have just

been a regular old teen if Piper Lorry hadn't been soup shitty. Just a little awkward. Did you say soup shitty? Soups? Oh, soops. I'm a millennial now? I didn't tell you. I just abbreviate everything. No. Okay. I thought you were from the greatest generation. Don't let the beard fool you. I once had to do a wedding ceremony for some friends, and the father of the bride gave me some things that he wanted said in the ceremony. And one of the things was referencing grandparents who weren't there. And it was, we just want to say that we missed the people who aren't here from the greatest generation.

And afterwards, everybody thought, tho the the th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho that you were thou tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho- tho- tho- tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th't here from the greatest generation and afterwards everybody thought I was joking. Oh God, oh buddy. I'm not the type of guy who uses greatest generation. Yeah, that sounds that sounds pre-written for you. And I'm sure I went, greatest generation. So Arnie and Dennis go to school and Arnie gets picked on and Dennis gets hit on. That was where I have the note, did I accidentally ran to 16 candles. Which I love. And this is where your note comes out because the squirrelier friend of Dennis runs up who doesn't like Arnie.

Yeah. And says, have you seen the new girl? She's a total brain, but she's got the body of a slut. Fine. And then we see the young lady who, for all of you drag net movie fans out there, she is the virgin Connie Swale. I feel like when you said drag net fans out there, like a little cricket chirp somewhere in the back of the room. Man, that movie is grand. But she is just a regular lady, so I guess she's a slut now. Yeah, high school. Fuck in the 80s. Well, in this, we also see the bully who is legit older than me.

He's 47 years old. What is he doing in a high school shop class? You mean Buddy. Buddy. Buddy is an adult. Full-blown mutton chopped. Base player in Bachman Turner Overdry Adults. Rinkled like, I just don't... And then his friend just dick grabs. The whole... like the first like 10 minutes of this movie are just inexplicable.

Let's talk about Buddy's hostility in the shop class. Sure. So Buddy is given Arne the business. He's stolen Arne's lunch, which is, I guess, a sandwich in a bag of yogurt. Yeah, that's how you keep your sandwich. Keep it moist. Which Buddy switchblades help the yogurt all over the floor. Like, and it's the first day of school. Cool your fucking jets. What are you so mad about? So,

Buddy gets agitated and is like threatening to fight everybody. And Buddy is a fucking smooth dancer. Did you see his moves when he was jumping around, gesticulating at everybody and like, it was like fossy. It was amazing. It seemed like a grease remake of some kind. He was tot, he was totally going like heel toe, heel to, and like spin, and it was great. Yeah. And he's got these schlobby buddies, which is the only way I could describe them. One of them is the guy who is at the beginning of Ghostbusters getting shocked by Bill Murray, because he's like getting the telepathic stuff right, but the girl's getting it wrong, but Bill.........

wrong but Bill Murray is trying to convince the girl. Yeah. Oh wow. It is, yeah. I couldn't like take him seriously as a bully because I was like, you just get shocked by Pinkman. I had to make sure that the one guy wasn't Francis from Pee We's Big Adventure. Oh, I love Francis. The guy with the flash dance neck on his sweatshirt. Yeah. God I love Pee we's big adventure. It's a perfect movie. It's a perfect. the perfect. the perfect. the the perfect. the the the the the the the the perfect. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the one. the one. the one. th. the one's th. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. I's the one. I's the one. I's the one. I's the one. I's the one. I's the one. I's the one. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. th as well. Are they similar? They're both ridiculous. And if you watch the movie all the way through, you get to hear Tom Hanks rap at the end of it. That sounds interesting. Everybody likes Tom Hanks. So, Buddy breaks Arne's glasses, or steps on them at least and cracks them. And what I love about Arne's glasses is they're the fakest glasses ever,

because there's no concave to the lens at all, it just totally flat. And Arne calls him Dickface, which I have the note, Dick faced, that's a good bust. Yeah, like it. And they rat him out to the the authority here. Who pulls a switchblade on literally the first day of school? How could you be so mad? I don't know. How could you be so mad? I think Buddy might have been hitting like the human growth hormone or something? Like he's got some guns on him too.

Something bad is happening to Buddy. It's a dancer's body. Too much heart. Too much heart. I'm like all pro wrestlers. Arne and Dennis are going home after this and Arne becomes fixated on an automobile. That is in the junkyard of the next door neighbor from home alone. The snow shovel killer. It is. It's him. It totally is. Yeah. We're wearing a back brace from a nightmare. Yeah. A nightmare back. He's a nightmare man. He is. He is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. to to th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the th. th. thi thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi thi thi. thially is. Yeah. Wearing a back brace from a nightmare. Yeah. He's a nightmare man. Yes, he is.

He's totally got that soup straightener mustache that makes me like, oh, I should trim my mustache. What if I'm doing that right now? But he, so he tells them that his brother owned up until the time that he died, and that he'll sell him the car for pretty much any pricey names. Yeah. 300? How about 250? Definitely. Why doesn't he just let it be? Why does he just let it be? to just let it be. to just a weird motivation? Do you know what? he doesn't he to tell you? their money? So why does he need to give it I mean, is it, do you want to get rid of the car that definitely killed your brother and his entire family? Well, then just take it somewhere and leave it. I don't know. Because he doesn't have the attachment to it.

Sure. But this is another thing where I'm like, who is the car love? What is the car doing? It's a very Stephen Kangu. as we know. God, don't be a scatman-grothers. Yeah, for sure, don't do that. Oh, I do have the note 45-year-old high schoolers. Yeah, so old. So he takes the car, he buys it, much to the chagrin of his parents.

His mother is so ridiculous, but he's also such a dick to her. Like, their relationship is so, so weird. Yeah, when we first see him, he's running out of the house and the garbage falls all over the driveway. Yeah, and he's just totally like, GLAVEN and like dropping everything and total nerd. He's pretty professor Frank-esque. Yeah, for sure. And his mom's just like, ugh, blah, ugh.

And that's pretty much her attitude for the rest of the movie with him. Yeah, I just don't, I don't get it. She's so shated to him, he's so shitty back, but we're supposed to not, we're supposed to feel that that's out of the first time we see them in re-act. Right. He's only not shitty for like 10 minutes of this movie though. You want to know who's shitty? Yeah. The fucking dad. What is this dick bag doing? Explain, talk to me about the dad? He's not doing anything. I have nothing to say about this man who does nothing in this movie. Just tel him to apologize to his mother and then he's like, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, who's, who's, who's to who's to who's to who's to who's to who's to who's to who's to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the, the the the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi's thi's the is the the the the the the the the the the thi thi the thi thi thi thi thi's thi's th It's totally like ridiculous. Yeah. Sorry I

just saw the note Buddy has some sweet muscles. I've really infatuated Buddy's muscles. I think you're trying to mechanophilia buddy if you know what I'm saying. You're just into his nimble body and dancers moves at big muscles. I think I'm just jealous but yeah. I mean we're all jealous of that man. He had some pretty sweet Fawcett hair too. It was super feathered. Yeah. God, I miss feathered hair. I had some sick feathered hair back in the day.

No, you didn't. Yeah. Oh, God. I am that old. Yeah. Um, so Arne takes the car because he can't keep it home. the throwne takes takes takes takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, to, to, to, to, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to, to, to, to, thi, too, thi, thi, thi, too, th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. theeea. to thea. toda. toda. toda. toda. the. the. the. thee his mom doesn't want to park on the street for some dumb reason. Or in the driveway. Or in the driveway because it's going to be an ice war. Well, the driveway seems to be confusing to everyone in this movie. Like Dennis does not seem to understand how a driveway works.

He won't pull up it. Like at first I was like, Dennis is like, Dennis. friend and he just doesn't know how a driveway works. Can we talk about Dennis his car real quick, that Dodge Charger that he has? Sure. We don't see Dennis his job where he paid for that car and we don't see his parents mansion where they bought him that car. How does a 17 year old have that car? High school football maybe? Is it a pay in these days? Oh some Friday not like shit. Yeah you get monies? I don't thinks thi thinks thinks thu money thu money thinks thinks thinks thi. I don't thi. I don't thi. I don't thi. I don't thi. I don't thi. I don't thi. I don't thin. I don't thin. I don't thin. I don't thin. I don't thin' th. I don't th. I th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm. Yeah. I'm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeahthe 70s. But he lost his career anyway. From getting tackled in the end zone. You know, it's all... It gets a...

It gets a... Jason, uh... I forget the kid. He talked about 42? Yeah, it was his name was 42. the house? Oh, wait, it was... the other one. The hot one. The hot one. Yeah, you know the hot one. No, no, no, no. 40. He's the one who called everybody by their name by their numbers.

Wasn't 42 the younger quarterback who came into his own later seasons? Oh the sad one. Yeah. The artist. Yeah. The one who dated coach his daughter. Yeah. What's the hot guy's name? Texas. No, don't look it up. I don't know. Please don't look it up. Please don't look it up. We have to move on. We have to move on. I will look it up when you're moving on. Well, here's the thing. I don't have any notes that are good for anything. And the next note, I have just to say, Arn, I don't the th. Arn, I don't th. Arn. I don't th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. to to to to to to to. to to. to. to the the the the to. to. the to. the the the the the to look. to look. to look. to look. to look. to look. to look. to look. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. the. the. th. the. the. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t., and then end scene. Let me just get this, because if not, I'm just going to sit here and you're going, I'm going, yes, what is his name? Tim Riggins, you talk about Taylor Kitch? Oh, what's the guy, what's the paralyzed guy's name? Uh, uh, f-

He's surprised he's already on the thing. Yeah, he doesn't come up played the character of Jason Street. Street. I kept wanting to say house. Somebody else. So he gets Jason Streeted, except he walks again, so it's not very good, not a very good analysis. Oh, that's right. Yeah, of course. When he gets into a fucking football accident. Yeah, what did you think? You looked at me like I was in a hasspaw, but ending his career. I literally thinking

about Friday that lights at that point. I watched all five seasons like four months. Oh God, did you like, did you like lightly around a razor blade over your wrist every so often? And so, and so, so Arnie takes the car to the local scrap yard in it th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the. And, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, so, like, like, like, like, like, like, so Arnie takes the car to the local scrap yard. Yeah. That is also has a huge garage in it. Where you can like fix stuff on your own. You're basically renting the space. Yeah, yeah, you fix it kind of John. The guy who they meet, who runs the place is a fucking cave troll when they first meet him.

Yeah, he's like, he seems like Polly from Rocky and j drunk and jawing like a small dog would. But if Bali from Rocky had never stopped eating lemons the entire girl. And he's busting the kids balls and he's like you fuck me over once and I'll fucking fuck you to death and whatever he said is like and the kid and the Arnie's like, all right I'd be like I think I will leave sir. Whatever. Whatever. Arne quickly becomes a dildo, right? Sure, he falls into the sway of Christine. Christine, oh, Christine is the car. But he's gonna fuck.

He's gonna fuck it. You don't see him fuck it, but he definitely fucks it. So there's a subplot where Dennis is trying to mac into this lady, Lee Cabot. This is the brainy girl with the body of a Nessword. I would much rather have watched their romcom than the movie this turned out to be. They had such good chemistry, I thought. They did. They did. And Dennis was so cute. Little Kevin Kevin Kevin Kevin Kevin Kevin Kevin Kevin Kevin Kevin Kevin thaven Kevin. tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a. th-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thiii. thi. thi. thi-n. thi-n. thi-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n'-n-n-s. th-s. th-s. theeea-s. theea-s. thea-s. Kevin Bacon? Very cute. Yeah. Every time we see Arnie, he's a little bit cooler looking. He's got a little bit cooler duds. His hair gets better.

Christine's buying him clothes. Yeah, and contact lenses also. Yeah, she fixes his eyesight. Yeah, she gets some of all those black mock turtlenecks, which I want to get into also. He's thinking about becoming an existentialist? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah.. Yeah. Yeah..... Yeah. Yeah... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah existentialist? Yeah, he's very, yeah. Sort of a nihilist. We believe in nothing. Fast forwarding, Dennis gets into the accident that we alluded to earlier in the football game when he gets crushed tackled because he's paying attention because Arnie and Lee are making out of the football game. And Dennis is like, Hawa?

That's my girl. In front of their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they are their they are their their culturally insensitive mascots, which I think we're just Native Americans, if I recall. I have a note, but I didn't write down what was culturally insensitive about them. And I watched this like four days ago, so it's gone. It's almost completely gone. So Dennis is in the hospital for like, I don't know, a month. So Dennis is in the hospital. Aden is thi is in thi is in the hospital. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. th. th. th. th. th. th. I didn't th. I th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I didn't th. I didn't th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. the. thi. the. thi. the. th. that too. And then when he comes back you're like, oh yeah, tennis. But Arnie goes to visit him. Is this where he talks about how part of being a parent is trying to kill your kids? Yes. I was like, I don't think so.

Do you ever think that part of being a parent is to process that now, Arnie. Not generally. Not generally. Like the thing that Christie got Arty Rilenton Nietzsche. Yeah. She just like opens her glove box and there's a collection of like, Fyred Khummo. So he's newly dating Lee, but it's a very, they're like already fighting about dumb shit, like, eh, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're they're they're they're they're their, they're their, their, they're their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, not, not, not, not, their, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, their. their. their. their. their. their. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the. thi. thea. the. that it's a very, they're like already fighting about dumb shit. Like, they're at the drive-in and she's like, all you love is this car. Let me eat this hamburger. Is it possible for something to have less than one dimension?

Because I think that... That's a good science question. I wish we had a science guy. Call Bill Nye. I think the, the problem with her is she is so th, th, th, th, th, th, th th, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the, like thi thi, like thi, like thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi, like they thi, thi, they're like, they they're like, they they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they's, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. They're thi. They're theea, thea, thea, thea, thi. They're thea, thi. They're they're thi. They're th a science guy. Call Bill Nye. I think the problem with her is she is so poorly drawn. She has no, like, nothing to grab from other than she's brainy and attractive. Yeah, and everybody wants a piece of Lee, I guess. Oh, and she has the body of a slut, don't forget. Also, in the 80s, I was too young in the 80s for this to have been a thing for me, but was everyone was trying to get their nerdy friend laid? That was the entire plot to every movie. It does seem that way. Return of the Jedi, the plot is they're

trying to get their nerdy friend. Is it? I would believe that if you told me. It just seems like every movie for the 80s. It's is is like we's is like we's is like we's is like we's is like we's is like we's is like we's is like we's is like we's is like we's is like we's like we got to get to get to get to get to get to get to get. It's like we to get. It's like we to get to get to get to get. It's like we got to get to get to get to get to get to get. It's like. It's like we. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's like. It's. It's like we to get. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's the th. It's. It's the end of 16 candles where Jake Ryan offers his drunk girlfriend up to Anthony Michael Hall. Yeah, it's all of Porky's. Yeah. Yeah. Um, bachelor party? Wait, no. Kind of. Yeah. Adrian's a med is trying.

Yeah. I pulled that name out of my ass. Yes, you did. I would like to note for the record since this is not a visual medium, Alan did not look at IMDB for that. Had to come up with it for Jason House. Big, big, uh, big T.J. Hooker fan back in the day. You remember the cop show that William Shabner was on? Swamp thing? They're like, they've been dating for like, ah, week. Oh, we have fun. So they're, they're like, they're like, they're they're they're they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they're they're they're they're they're they're they-a, they. they're they're they. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. thi. thi. thi. to be to be together. together. together. together. together. together together together. together. together. together. together. together. together. to to together. ththe car, right? Right.

They're like, they've been dating for like, aweek. Yeah. And she's like getting upset because he's anthropomorphizing the car, but he still will not stop referring to the car as Christine, which is extraordinarily uncomfortable. Do you name a car? No. I find it strange when people do like, oh, I'm gonna get Norman tuned out. Get that, get the fuck out here. That's a carola. I call it the only car I can name. I do call my car the Miracle Whip.

Why? Is it tangy? Because they're fighting in the car and Arnie gets pissed and runs to the snack stand as you do when they're watchingto a drive-in, which I know is super depressing and I always mean to go and it's like there's always some reason that I never make it We should do one of the harthon things that they do I wanted to do that last year I had some friends in town and I missed it but I would really like even if we just go for a the things the way to go well like what if it rains? Well, like, like, what if it's? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Well, like, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thin. th. th. th. th. the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I they. I they. I they. I they they th. I they th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. to to the. to to thin. I th. th. th. the. I the. I want. I want the. I want th. I guess that's really all the only question I had. And nowadays, you just tune, you tun your radio to the, the soundtrack.

The frequency. How do you keep your battery from dying? You just start your car every so often? Your car's running the whole time. It's not running like gas running. Yeah, I don't know. I th live. I th live. I th only th only th only th only th only th only th only th only thi. I don't live like th. I thi. I th. I don't know. I wouldn't live with gas running. Drive-ins. How do you work? How you do? Um, so you guys are- Then you're just idling your car for hours. It's not right?

No wonder it's never snowing here again. Maybe I'm wrong. Yeah, you just spray the whole can of the hair spray right in the air. That's what you do. If you scope in that kind of no zone, you're just like, oh, a hole in the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. t. to. to. too. tooooooooooooooooooo. th. th.'s what you do. If you scope in that can of no zone, you just spray it right up. A hole in the ozone layer just following you around like, oh, remember when that was the worst thing we had to worry about? The ozone layer. Guy, when's the last time you even heard someone say ozone? Is it even still exist? Is that why we don't talk about it? Is, we just don't talk about that anymore. Oh yeah, the one who got pregnant and then had to go live with an aunt, take care of a sick aunt. Well, that's sad. Speaking of sad. So, he comes back with a hamburger. Or no, there were hamburgers on the dashboard. And so, you know, to console herself, Lee chomps into a hamburger. Who amongst us does not sad eat.

We're all sad eating. Let's not fucking lie to ourselves. And she starts shoking. Yeah. And it starts playing do-up-up- Dwop-wop. Oh God. And well, the songs are all related to what's happening.

Oh, are they? Yeah, like, she plays like, I I I I I I I I I I I the songs, I the songs, I the songs, I the songs, I the songs, I the songs, I the songs, the songs, the songs, the songs, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. all related to what's happening. Oh, are they? Yeah, like she plays like, I love you song for Arnie and like, I hear you knocking, but you can't come in when the guy's trying to get into the car. Oh, well, that's interesting. Yeah. I can't remember what's on they're playing while she's choking. Yeah, I'm sure it's like chok, choke, choke, choke, choke, and choke, and choke, and choke, and choke, and choke, and choke, and choke, and choke, and I. choke choke choke and I still was like oh cool got anything and the car gets really bright yeah it glows green yeah or no girl is white the radio

glows green it doesn't matter listen to me not and Arne she's not let Christine's not letting Arne into the car to save Lee yeah and then Dick butt kiss happens to be in the car next to them and hops out and saves her right Christine's cool with that though I guess well who can refuse dick but kiss the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. I the. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. I the. the. the. the. the. the. to. to. toge. toge. the. the. the. the. the. the. the is that though I guess. And he gives her the hymn- Who could refuse Dick Budkiss? True. It's true. He gives her the hymlic. And then she yells at Arne later for not giving her the hymlic, but that man's already doing it.

You know what I mean? Just be grateful you didn't, you got the hymnic because he's like, well I thought he was hurting you. You fucking idiot, Arnie. Everyone's so stupid in this movie. Oh man. But then they start talking about going to the same college. He was like I think we should apply to the same colleges and I was like pick your own co-lage lady. You know what I mean? Yeah you got to go to like Swarthmore or something to get th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th, th th thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, th th thu, thu, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thu, thu, thu, th thu, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thii thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thiathmore or something to get away from this dude. Yeah. That's a lady college, right? Um, if there's men, I bet they're wearing black mock tour nux too, so it's like, how far are you away are you getting, you know? It's hard to say. So, um, well, they had that conversation as they're walking into the garage to find Christine has been you beaten up by Buddy and the boys. Buddy and the gang.

So we see Buddy, in an earlier scene, we see Buddy and the Chubby Shlobs go in with sledgehamers. Well, there's the Chubbys, and then there's the tall guy. There's the Ghost Sisters guy, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Who I think is in just one of the guys? No. Oh, man, we need to do a shitty 80s movie podcast. We're already doing one.

And buddy and the guys attack Christine and just like smash everything, smash everything, they poop on it. Which we don't see. We don't, thankfully, do not see the poop. I want to know which one of them shit on the shit the like, I feel like it'd be hard to shit on a dashboard. I guess in an old car like that it comes out a lot further, but like you couldn't shit on my dashboard. You wouldn't be able to get your butt there.

Well, the windshield was gone. The windshield was gone. Oh, that makes so much more sense. Oh, that makes a lot more sense. Boy, am I a fucking stupid. I just picture someone like standing on the driver's seat, like, cramming their ass in there. You have to be very bendy. Don't you clap at me. Oh, that's a goody.

But I wouldn't know which one of them shit on the dashboard. Was it like, buddy was like you. Chubby Schluff-Nove, number number number number number the the th number th number th. th. th. th. th. th. thu, th. thu, thu, thu, thu, th. th. thu, thu, th. th. th. I th. I that, that, that, thi. I that, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that. that. that. that that that on the dashboard was like, buddy was like you, chubby schlub number three, shit on the dashboard. Anyone need to shit? Anyone? And someone's like, yeah, all right. Yeah, I could just, everybody turn around. Whatever. Or did someone just do it? It was like, ah, man.

Oh man, Rick is out of control over there. This is where they start using the word shitter as an insult like halfway through the movie. And then, all right, it's pretty good. But it's like they didn't come up with it until partway through. Amy, when Arnie calls Lee a shitter? Everybody's, he's a shitter, the car, you know, whatever. So I think this is a swear that Christine has given him. Oh, so as he looks more and more like a vampire,

he gets more and more swear, right? Right, right, right. Okay. Fine. Fine. Shitter. I thought he called her a sinner. And I was like, this is like weirdly religious. No, it was shit. This is also set to like a Carpenter score. Boop, Boop, Boop, Boop.

Oh yeah, John Carpenter and Alan Horth. I'll do this the rest of the time. Well, they have the, um, the Michael Myers sting in it too. The, pww, yeah, keeps happening through it. Yeah, I tha. I that's they. It's keeps happening. It's keeps happening. It's keeps happening. they. they. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thu. th. th. to, to, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, but I saw that movie five years ago. Not sure I wasn't born for either of these movies. Yeah, you were not. There were still another year before you would come into this. I was, I was a fetus.

There's still another year before you were born. The important act of emerging from the womb. So, so Arnie starts repairing Christine. And then Christine's like, oh by the way, I can do this and fixes her engine. And Harney's like, huh? Show me. And Christine fixes herself in what I think is a fucking amazing looking scene.

No, it looks cool. It's really cool. Like all the dents are popping out and it's, the glass is repairing, like it's basically in reverse, the so what I think yeah that like they had had pneumatics hooked up to the car and like crushed it in using the pneumatics to do that and then shot in reverse and it looked really awesome. Yeah look great and they do it like four more times though which I was kind of's just give ahead to Christine goes in a killing spree. Yeah, she kills the tubby guy. Yeah, who's got a hood on his sweatshirt this time and I think he was running home to cut the hood off of his sweatshirt after

he gets dropped off by a trucker? What is going on? The whole scene I was just like, the bridge district of town? Who is this? Why? Okay, fine? What the the the the the th. What th. What th. What th. What? What? What? What? What? th. What? th. What? th. What? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to? to? to? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. to? to? to. to. to. to. to. to. to. toeee. to. toe. the the thee. the. the. the like the bridge district of town. Who is this? Why? Okay, fine. What sad existence this guy have? And he like runs down an alley that's too narrow for the car to get down and then the car mushs itself down there. This is the scene that I find genuinely scary in this movie. Sure. I think it's probably the scariest. the car is like slowly crushing itself to fitthe. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It is th. It's th. It's th. It's the. It's the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to fit down this tiny thing. And it's like, this movie definitely benefits from having Carpenter direct it, because it looks gorgeous. And like, he builds that tension, I think, of like, oh, this inanimate thing is coming to kill this dude. It felt like jaws or something like that.

Like the car was coming to chomp him. Yeah. Harry Dean Stanton refers to to to the to to to have thine thine to to have the thian, thian, thian, thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus the thian the thian thus thus thus thus thus the thus the thi the thi thi the thi the thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th thian, th. thian, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, the the the the the the the the the teean. tean. tean tean. tean tean. thean thean thi his legs with the shovel. Yeah, that's gross Well, this is after they talked about Herodine Stanton's like you don't seem so upset about somebody's shitting on your car And like shit wipes up. Yeah, I haven't noticed this shit. Yeah, I've been noticed this shit. And he says we had to scoop up his legs. And he says we had to scoop up his shovel and to which to which Ar th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. thi. th. thi. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th kid, says, is not what you're supposed to do with shit? Yeah. I was like, oh, that's dope. And you're not making yourself not look like a suspect right now,

aren't you? Oh, no, totally a suspect. Uh, chubby guy and hoodie is bad at escape. Yeah. This is where I have the note. Is Dennis an orphan, we don't hear about his, uh, tha, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's. that's. that's. thi. thi. th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's that's that's thi.? We don't hear about his parents ever during this. No, Dennis has a note. He has a sister, but no parents. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So next scene we see Christine chasing Buddy and Buddy's pal,

Buddy's Buddy. And they go to the gas station of the guy from Ghostbusters where he's working, and Christine crushes's car and then breaks a gas line so gasoline is pouring everywhere and explodes the gas station. I have a note that says ask Alan how he feels about a vehicular firewalk. I love it. It looks so cool. I figured you would. I didn't even have to ask. Because then she slowly chases him. I'm anthropomorphizing this car too. She slowly chases him down the highway. For the record, do not want to fuck this car. No.

She's slowly chasing him while on fire. And it looks awesome. Yeah, it's pretty sweet. And Buddy's just live dancer body running down. The next note I have says, does Stephen King hate fat people? But I don't remember why. Oh, I don't know either. Probably. I mean, there's the whole, like, what is the stand by me thing with the fat guy who eats

eats all the pies and barfs on everybody. Yeah, I don't know a cool story about a fat guy getting revenge. Yeah, I love that actually. I cool story about a fat guy getting revenge. Yeah, I love that actually. I think about it a lot. What is it, Lard Butt? I don't remember. I wish I could remember why, what happens to a fat person that I was like, oh he hates fat. Oh, he like smushes the tubby, cave troll. Oh, into the car, yeah. In the car, he smushes him. So the car comes back to the shop. And it's, during the movie, the guy who runs the garage stops being, why did I say garage,

the guy who runs the garage, stops being cave trolling, and becomes like, Arnie's buddy and caretaker and boss. He's like, he's like, th you ain't got money fallen out of your ass? What if money fell out your ass? Honestly, I don't think it'd be worth it. What if you just like... That dashboarded today would have been... Grant and his brother Ulysses just fell out of your asshole.

Oh boy. So the car comes back, the guy and thua and thua and thu and thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thu, thu, th, thu, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thu, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. tho. tho, tho, car comes back, the guy comes and he's like investigating it and then just goes and sits in the front seat of the like smoking car? Yeah, I don't know what he was doing. And then the car smushes him. Which is why I was like, oh you hate fat people. So so far he hates moms, the elderly and the fats. The chubbly. Okay. Carry on. So Lee and Dennis concoct this plan, right?

Right. They are besties now because they want to help Arnie. She should have just gone out with Dennis in the first place. They could have been so happy. Arne was charming though. That car. Dennis had a cool car too, though, and was nice. That's true.

that's true that's true he was nice and he's a football player you don't mean a nice football player I do not understand what their plan is at the garage their plan is to take that earth mover yeah and crush Christine in it and that seemed to be the extent of their plan to take a very fast-moving sporty McCar and hit it with a very slow-moving Earth Crusher. And they were using Lee as like bait? Which, fool, fool hearty. I also have the note this is I feel like Dennis's neck can't take this kind of trauma because he's like getting hit in the, and like, please not even strap in, poor Dennis. Well, don't forget that Arnie goes and picks up Dennis after Dennis gets home from the hospital finally,

and they go out for a drive, and Christine. Yeah. And they're drinking while in the car. And they're drinking while in the car. Oh yeah, Southern Cross beer. And I was like can of beer in their hands. Sure. It was a thing. And litter was also a thing from that time. Oh yeah, love littering. It just chucks that can of beer out the winter. Oh, that's right.

So to set their plan in motion, Dennis scratches Darnells to night into the hood of Christine. That's right. That's right. But like like, but like, but like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, they. they. they. they. they've, they've, the. they. the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th decided they need to help Arnie because during that driving and drinking a driving scene, Arne is like giving the speech about how when you really love someone, like you're with them forever and you never do any wrong by them basically. And Dennis is like, are you talking about Lee? And he's like, I'm talking about Christine, this car that I'm talking. Why not call the resolve help help? There's other things you can call to help your friend in this instance. There's just a lot of, like, okay, so he gives this impassioned speech about the love between him and Christine. Right.

So why does Christine kill him? I don't understand. She is a malevolent, malevolent thing. So she's just, I mean, we understand that her previous owner died in the car from carbon monoxide and also his daughter choked in the car. And his wife also died in the car. I just feel like home alone neighbors a real asshole for selling this car. Yeah he did set this whole whole thing in emotion.

Could have just been fine. He's like the witch lady from Pumpkinhead. She could have said no. She was like he came to her and was like giving you revenge and she was like uh can you handle revenge and he was like uh can you have a true to handle revenge. This this kid was like a dumb nerdy kid being like I want your car and he's like I'm giving you for whatever you want anything you want. It's not the same thing. You're right. You're right. I'm sorry to besmirch the name of the witch lady from a mumpkinhead. She was so good. She was so good. She was in that weird swamps check where there's no swamps around. Oh yeah, because they were in the desert, weren't they? Yeah.

Um, not many horror movies have a climax scene where that like a backhoe saves the day. It's true. A very slim moving back to the back. A their. their kills, the car kills Arnie and throws him with like, does he have a piece of glass in his chest or something? She throws him through the windshield, and he gets glass in his guts. And then there's the car chase, where they're chasing Christine, and he finally runs the earth move her, and like, I'm gonna say it's a little bit of th of th of th of th of th of th of th of th of th of th of th, it's a little thi thi thi, it's a little thi, it's a little thi, it's a little thi, it's a little thi, it's a little, it's like slowly crushing her, but then we're seeing like she's rebuilding herself while getting crushed and like... I'm gonna say it's a little bit of a sad scene of like seeing like this thing trying to fight for its life.

You filled emotion in that scene? I did. That's weird. And then when they finally get it crushed, Lee has the great line. God, I hate rock and roll. What are you talking about? There's so much rock and roll coming out of that car. I know but whatever. You know what else is weird? The cop just fucking believes them. Sure. He's like well you guys did a great job with this one like what? Dude, what sink? Look at Harry Dean Stanton. He's seen some shit. He just wants to close this case. You know what I mean? He just wants to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the try. try. try. toooooooooooooooooo. true. toooo. to. to. to. to. to.'s seen some shit. He just wants to close this case. You know what I mean? He just wants to go home and have a good drink of scotch or something. It's fucking happy hour somewhere. Harry and San's ready to go.

And that's all the movie ends. Well, there's the great gag of where they cube down Christine. And so they're looking at the cube the cube the cube the cube the cube the cube the cube the cube the cube the cube the cube the cube the cube the cube the cube the like the car crush in place. The junkyard if you will. And so they're looking at the cube of the car, it's the cop and Lee and Dennis. And all of a sudden they hear rock and roll music. And this guy comes walking out from behind the cube with a boom butt. So yeah, that's a good gag. And then the final scene is we see the like little spokes on the front of the car start to wiggle on the car cube for Christine too. Is there a driving? I'm sure there is. I don't know.

Boy oh boy. So that's Christine. Oh boy. John Carpenter's adaptation of Stephen Kang. Katie. Yeah. Do-op-whop. Do you want to move onto the ratings face? Tu up-to-up-to-up. Not anymore.

You hate to-up. I really didn't like this movie. I gotta be honest with you. I mean, it's very watchable, but it's dumb as hell. Sure. I had this feeling like, how did this get written? Like, maybe the book's good. Maybe it's great.

Yeah, I think somebody posted on our Facebook page that's like one of their favorite Stephen King books. Which maybe it is really good. Maybe it just didn't translate well to the silver screen, as we call it, the thi's the guests that I hate their movies Except for the times that I've really hated them And I would have felt bad looking her in the face like across the table from me and being like what were you thinking? She does let us do this in her house every week. I know so that's why we got to be cool. So maybe that's th th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. that's that's that's that's that's that's why we that's that's why we th. the that's that's why we that's that's to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to the to to to their their their their their that's that's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. thi thi. the thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. that's th. that's the. that's that's that's that's The one that I give her every week but I hand her a file. Right.

It's a Manila envelope with the podcast. It's just a transcript of the podcast. It's like fart noise, fart noise, poop. Um, no, this one, I was just like, what is it? What? What? Does make any fucking sense? Why does the car do what it does? Why anything?

Yeah, there is never any explanation of why Christine is evil. There's no Christine backstory. No, but would you want to have watched that? I know because I didn't want to watch this either. Four. That's not bad for a movie you did not like. It should be. I've given movies I like zeros. So. You're a, you're a tw, you're a, you're a, you're a tw. You're a tw. You're a tw. You're a tw. You're a the the the you're a the the you're a their a their a their a their a their a their a their a their a their a their a their a their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. Why. their. Why. their. their. Why. their. their. their. their. You're a their. You're a their. You're a their. You're a their a their a their a their a their a their a their a their a their a t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t.a. t. t. the. their. Why. Why. Why. Why. their. did not like. It should be. I've given movies I like zeros.

You're a twisted man though. You have problems. I remember to this movie, I've seen it a couple times. It's something that I was like, oh, this is kind of mediocre. But I felt like we should knock it out because we haven't done a Stephen Kang in a while. We've got to keep getting back there. Keep getting back to the Kang well and keep getting back to, I want to do more John Carpenter stuff as we go through it. Have we not seen enough?

The two movies that we've done? They've been poor in my opinion. I know. I know. You're like making me watch Prince of Darkness. I love Prince of dark. Oh, it's so bad! I know. But watching it this time, I had fun watching this. Turns out I own it.

Of course you do. You own everything. And yeah, but I would give it a five. I'd say it's total middle of the road. I'm not going to be like, dude, do you want to get into John Carbner? Let me tell you where to start to start to start to start to start to start to start to start to start to start to to to to to to to the darkness be like dude you want to get into John Carbiner let me tell you where to start. Prince of Darkness then Christine then vampires. I have not seen vampires. God damn it I hate that movie. We should definitely do it so we can talk about all the John Carpenter ways. The John Carbenter. Ooh well. But yeah a five it's it's the top of the John Garbender pops.

Boy, sorry if we made you watch this one. It like, yeah. It's beloved. A lot of people really love this movie. I'm sure they do. And I can see why they do because it's like really absurd. Yeah, yeah. I think people my age, they saw it when they were 12 years old. I get that. I'm not disputing that people like this or that I understand why people like this, but this is not for me. Yeah. Plus those people probably fuck cars. I think all the acting is competent as well. Oh yeah, I'm actually surprised Keith Gordon like kind of direct out he just directs now. Oh really? Is he directed anything of note? He did a bunch of like, oh, that's a th. th stuff he's done a bunch of like... That's cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that sounds like a good job. Yeah, he's also in Back to School. He's the son in Back to School. Oh, I think I tell you that back to school is one of the worst movies of all time, oh, I think we talked about back to school school, their school, so their their their, so their, so, so, so, so, so much, so much, so much, so much, so much, so much, so much, so much, so much, so much, so much, so much, so much, so much, so much, so much, so much, so much, so much, so much, so much that I's thi, so much, so much thi, so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much so much, so much, so much, so much so much, so much, so much, so much, so much, so much, so much, so much, so much, so much, so much th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi. Yeah, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. ththink I told you that Back to School is one of the worst movies of all time on that list that I read.

It was actually summer school. Yeah, because Back to School could not be on that movie. See how I mix these things up and I shouldn't be allowed to say facts? I think I have this facts-based podcast. Luckily, Tell me. That you are going to enjoy your subscription to a Cryptocurium. That was a fucking spectacular. Segway. And that's a fact also. $35 a month gets you the parcel of terror from Jason McIntyre. 35 dollars a month get you the Cryptocurium parcel of terror, which are handmade, awesome things. We've told you about this for, I don't know, probably a thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. And, th. And, th. And, thi. And, th. And, th. And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And about this for, I don't know, probably 100 episodes by now. Yeah, pretty much. Jason does amazing work. I'm blown away every time we open one of these, just like, and like those pictures of what

he's mailing out. So many! Yes, it's insane. It's so many. I'm so glad he's doing well. But not so well that you can't get someone the Christmas gift of a partial terror. Start him in January a whole year. They're gonna love it. You're gonna split the best gift ever. Yeah, a friend of the show Jim Robinson I believe

did that for a friend of the show Sarah from Rosemary's Baby. Yeah. We gotta get Jim on as a guest at some point. Would Jim want to be a guest? I would like to have Jim. Yeah, Jim, let us know if you want to be a guest on the podcast. It's not like we don't have any other way to contact you. Jim. He's so nice. So yeah, please subscribe to the Crypto Curium. You go to Crypto Curium. You go to the Crypto curiam. Goryum, Cry, Cry, C. C. Cry, C. C. C. C. Cry, C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the fode. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. G. C. C. C. C. C. G. C. C. C. C. C. G. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C.the parcel of terror. I'm not gonna spell that far. You can read. You got this. You're illiterate. Sign up, send Jason your money, $35 at work, whatever you want to send him. I think it has to be 35. 35 and above. 35 and above. Because he does an amazing amount of work. Yeah. It's gonna be so worth it. You're gonna to that. Katie. What? I've got something for the mail bag. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the to. the to. to. the to. the the to. to. to. the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. that. that. the the the the the that. that. that. that. that. that. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the mail bag. I like when you pause to do the mailbag thing. I think it's very effective. Okay give it to me. I don't have anything. Katie, it's a review from iTunes. Oh yeah, this is our rewards program, I guess. That we haven't figured out what the reward is yet, other than a great podcast. It's hearing your name. It's, the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's that's thathea. It's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. It's that's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's very. It's very. It's very. It's very. It's very th. It's very th. It's very th. It's very that. It's very that. It's very that. It's very that. It's very that. It's very that. I. It's very. th or your username. So we've got our friend Slice 65. Hell yes, Slice 65. Who give us a review on iTunes just like you guys

can do that said better than most movies that they review. Oh I love that, thank you. That was his header and then it's the body is how do these two not have a cable show? It's just a freaking shame. What would we do with the show? I want you to know. I the the th. I th. I th. I th. I the to th. th. th. to th. th. to th. to th. th. th. th. th. to th. th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. th. the. the the the the the the the the thi. the thi. the. th. th. th. freaking shame. What would we do with the cable show? You would look at us? I want you to know we're both wearing sweatpants right now. And sweatshirts, we have on full sweat suits. Sweat suits. I put on a sweatsuit to leave my house and come here. I'm also wearing slippers. Did you see my slippers? I did? They're very nice. I'm a university branded sweat pants. I'm also wearing socks that I got from being in the hospital. Please put us on TV. I have sometimes thought we should do like a YouTube episode. Yeah, would that be something you guys were into seeing us?

We've never posted a picture of ourselves. Just that one we're wearing this mask. I'm not drunk during the grabbers episode, which if you guys haven't listened to the grabbers episode. I noticed recently that that that that that that that that that that that that that th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the which if you guys haven't listened to the grabbers episode, I noticed recently it's like really low downloaded. I'm so drunk and it's pretty funny. We were both, we both, when we hit the plum cordial, it was just like, we were gone. I woke up the next morning, me like, what have I done?

Have you ever gone back and listened to it? I did to the tooo? I'm to to to to to to to to. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I to. I. I was. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. thed. th. thed. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I really drunk. Really drunk. How did I get home? Did somebody drive me? You got to Uber Ham. Okay. You took a A Uber? No, no, no, Rob was here. Rob drove me home. Wasn't he? Rob was drunk. Oh, Rob was drunk. Because he wanted to get drunk with you when you got drunk watching the movie. He took an Uber too, that doesn't make any sense. Maybe you guys never left. that's. the the the the the the to. the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. to. to. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. to. to. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.. Oh.............................................................. to. to. a half. But thank you, Slice 65 for that awesome review. If you want to hear your review read here, give us a good one. Go to iTunes and just read and review us. Yeah, Hunter Bush recently gave us a review on there as well and thank you very much Hunter for that and for ordering the t-shirt and for now knowing of the union, Hunter. Oh, we can't talk about the Civil War anymore. I know.

My life is so weird. But you guys should come back next week, because next week is going to be our almost Christmas episode. Yeah. We've done two prior. We did Silent Night Deadly Night, which also no one has listened to. And we did Crampus, which did okay. Yeah, yeah, that was in theaters. Yeah, it was all right. Yeah, it was all right.

We're gonna talk about it. But we're gonna do the 1974 year of my birth. Classic film, Black Christmas. Black Christmas. It's on YouTube. It's like really good quality. And that's the only place I was able quality like it you don't you're not stealing it's just there I think is that stealing I don't know I watched it at least a year ago

on that channel yeah so so go to YouTube watch black Christmas from 1974 do not watch the remake or you will be lost about what we're talking about I have seen both and I think the girl from mean girls the remake I'm a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th one one one one one one one one th I th I tho tho the tho tho the the the tho tho tho tho tho the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th is is is th is th is th is th is the the the the the the the the the the the thro the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeea. thereea. they. theeeeeeeea. thee. the. Girls is in the remake. Lacey Chabare? There's a bunch of people in the remake that I recognize when I watch the trailer for it, including one of the women that is in the original. Which one? Phil? Oh, Phil so cute. Yeah. Okay.

So come back and hear more about how cute. You can find us on Facebook and Instagram. And you can leave a review on iTunes and tell your friends about us. And email us and... I think we have 11 shirts left, a couple XLs, 2X and a couple mediums. So if you are interested in any of those, they are $15, you can pay Palace at Warewolf Amulance at Gmail. Yep, just give us your address and we'll get them out to you. Yeah, we have yet to yet to to to to to miss to miss to miss to miss to miss to miss to miss to miss to miss to miss to miss to miss to miss to miss to miss to miss to miss to miss to miss to miss to miss to miss to miss to miss to miss to miss to miss to miss to miss the the their to to their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. the their their their their thxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. t. t. t. t. te. t. t. t. t. t., which is pretty good customer service. It was a little late on one of them, but I apologize and sent him a little something extra special. So- Did you shit in that box?

Thank you for listening to another episode of Wearable Famulance. Bye. Bye.