Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 113- Black Christmas (1974)

Episode Date: December 19, 2016

In our third annual Christmas episode, we're discussing the 1974 Canadian slasher "Black Christmas." Special topics for your consideration include: not knowing any of the words to any actual Christmas carols, refusing to acknowledge an entire floor of the house, being bad at piano, being good at wearing fur coats and calling from iiiinsiiiiide the hoooouuuuse! Oh also, we're eating cookies. Sorry about that; it's the holidays. Happy holidays. Have you seen this movie? Let us know your thoughts at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Twitter @werebulance or on Instagram @werewolfambulance. You can also email us for Mailbag! at [e-mail]. We love to hear from you. Speaking of love, it's the holiday season, the season of perpetual hope and love or whatever, so you should show some love to our sponsor Cryptocurium! Get their amazing monthly subscription box, the Parcel of Terror, delivered to your door for just $35/month by signing up at www.cryptocurium.com.  Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast. 

I'm gonna try to the Christmas. I have no givet to give. I have no gift to give. Are we doing a good job? Yeah, I think so. We are the Christmas. I have no gift to give. Are we doing a good job? Yeah, Iump, bum, bum, thu. Are we doing a good job?

Yeah, I think so. We are the Christmas. Hey guys, it's where wolf ambulance. I'm Alan. I'm Katie. And we're here to talk about the 1974 film, and try to get into the goddam Christmas spirit. I'm try to get into the god-dam. Like, like, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. th. tho. th. tho. th. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. to. to. to. the. to. to. the. thea. thea. the. the. th I say, this Christmas season I'm going to be less of an asshole.

Yeah. Have not done it yet. No? No, I'm working on it. Well, Katie, can I interest you, this plate of Christmas cookies? I already had two, but sure I'll eat another one. Thanks. Another episode where I'm going to to be less crunchy. Oh should it not be crunchy? Do they not like the crunchy? I'm sure they don't

like me going. Happy holidays, assholes. Yeah, this is coming out the week before Christmas. Yeah. So we're trying to get you into the Christmas spirit with some chewing. What is Christmas good for if not chewing? And some good old-fashioned Canadian horror? Called Canada. Oh God. Bob Clark, knocking it out of the park. Do you think that was his nickname? Knock it out of the park? Blob, Blob Clark? Forget it.

Glob? I didn't mean that. I'm sure he's a vineman. Director of the Ch-a Oh, the theatrical release poster in Canada has a tagline for this movie that is, if this movie doesn't make your skin crawl, it's on too tight. Pretty into that. God have you ever felt like that, like your skin just on too tight? It's like I get dry skin. Yeah. And you can't, you move your face and And just like, oh, what the fuck? That's because your mouth breathing.

Nerds. This movie features, this is the second appearance of a number of people for us. Margot Kitter. From sisters, John Saxon. What was John Saxon that we did? Oh, shit. I know, right. Fuck, that was a thousand years ago that th.

. . Oh shit, I know right? Fuck, that was a thousand years ago that we did that. I feel like we should revisit the Freddy franchise. Yeah, we should get on that. After the Christmas season. Yeah. He looks so foxy in this movie. God, uh, oh, fuck, what, what Bruce Lee movie is he in? Um, return of the dragon?

I think so. Now I have to verify that. I'm clicking on him. Oh, okay. I clicked him. Enter the Dragon. Enter the Dragon. Is Return of the Dragon a real movie? I think so. But that might not be a Bruce Lee movie. But you should watch Enter the Dragon because John Saxon is like karate buff in that movie? Oh God. Yeah.

I just find him like so weirdly hunky. And um... So blocky, 70s hunky. Yeah, yeah. This brows, I think for brows. Olivia Hussey from it. Holy shit. She was John Boy's wife. And I remember when we did that episode thinking. She was Italian. I thought she was British. Oh no, no, because she does sort of have a British accent in this too. whether or not she was German? She's Brazilian, right? She's Argentine. Argentinian, yes.

What the fuck? She's, she's everything. She's everything and nothing. To everyone. Like Everclear. You should try one of these weird, these are like a, what is that? It's called a something or other. It's a German cookie and it's really weirdly spiced with like nuts in it. the other one. Thanks. Yeah. I'm already wearing sweatpants so. Oh hey we're

filming this wait we're recording this after the episode where I was also wearing sweat pants. You guys have caught that we do two of these at once right? The veil is gone. Also what a lazy start we're doing here. Eating cookies and being like I don't know who fucking cares. I hope you guys are listening to this like getting ready for like being you know this is going to help to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to the to the to the the the the to the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. they. We're they. We're they. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. the. I'm. the. I'm. the. the. I'm. the. I'm. the. the. We're. We're the. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. I hope you guys are listening to this like getting ready for like being you know this is going to help you not get stressed out on your family we're just laid back where your bros who are hanging out. Well this is very interesting. Yeah yeah it's an interesting spice combo and a weird texture. I would eat a lot of these. I'm glad you didn't bring me very many. I did get eggnog and rum but you said you're not an eggnog fan fan It gives me the heaves. We are introduced to our characters in a sorority house. You weren't in a sorority in college.

Were you even? I've got friends who were like in like, oh yeah, I was totally in the band fraternity or like, I'm not a big joiner. I was in the science fret. I did have a restraining order against me from a sorority. Kaysen and I did. It's a story for another episode. Tell you what though, it was worth it. I grew up in a college town. Yeah. So sororities and fraternities are still locked in as the enemy?

They are the enemy. To people like us. To the not joiners of the enemy? They are the enemy, to people like us. To the not joiners of the world? Yeah. It's hard being a towny sometimes. Well, you can't rape a townie, according to Barb. What the fuck? I know, worst feminist.

I remember Barb being great. And this time revisiting this movie, Barb is Margo problem. You are Lindsay Lohan in college. This is rough. She really is. When we watch this movie at Ladies Nightmare, we were for some reason convinced her name was Barf. I don't know why. So throughout my notes I refer to her only as Barf.

Mmm, let me finish two in this cookie real quick. I eat so fast. It's very chewy too. Are you out of tea? No, I got something. I think. It comes good with tea. Mm-hmm.

You guys mellow? You guys chilling? Because we're just chilling right now, just in sweats. Oh, yeah. We're introduced to the sorority house. I love all the POV shots in this. They're very jerky and very handicam, just creepy. They make the whole thing very creepy. Four years before Halloween. And Halloween was inspired in a bit from this movie, from Bob Clark talking about doing other seasons of this type of movie. Okay. Cool. John Carpenter. You guys know how I feel about him.

Love him. Yeah I really love that movie. We did love. I am not presenting his best face to this movie. No. I'm gonna have to bring some fucking John Carpenter Thunder in here, I guess. Bum, bong. Boom, boom. Not that you already haven't seen the John Carpenter. No, please tell me more. You, Neofightte. Let me man explain John Carpenter to you. He made this movie called Halloween.

Did you see the thing? You never invented the thing. I've seen the thing. You've never even escaped from New York, have you? I haven't. I've seen the other one. But I love. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. thi. thi. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. th. You. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. tod. to. tod. toda. toda.........................., so good. Okay, so this movie is a movie. Right, so then we get into the sorority house and they're having like a Christmas party.

I wish frat boys looked like that when I was in college. Just like shitty, drunk uncles, you know? Just like, ugh, gah. Instead of like dudes with popped collars and bleach tips the look from the early 2000s. Like some in-sync type shit? Insink type shit. Wow. Yeah. I dated a frat boy briefly and I would have to go to a fraternity parties

and everyone would just be dancing like this. And I would just lean against the wall and smoke cigarettes. It was like terrible for me. They were like Darya. Yeah, I was the Dariah of this fraternity. It didn't last long, as you could probably guess. This is when you reveal that Rob is a frat boy. No, also not a big joiner. Or Jackie Joyner, Kercy.

I'm going to let that hang. This is such a lazy episode. It's like we're not even trying. Happy holidays. Happy Holidays. That was my Frankenstein backing vocal. Yeah, that's depressing. We've met Margo Kidder.

We've met Olivia Hussie. Yeah. And we meet Olivia Hussey's boyfriend. Hussie? Hussie? I want to say Hussey. Who is the dude from the brood. Oh, you're right. I recognized him, but I didn't look him up. Very, very hunky gentlemen.

I find him distressing, but he's very distressing in this movie. Oh, every man is distressing in this movie. Yeah. Even John Saxon. He has his moments, yeah. So we find out that the sorority house is getting pervert phone calls, which for you people with cell phones, you're people people people people people people people people people people people people th and th and th and th.. th. their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. their, their, th. But, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to. to. to. to. to. thee. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thithat this was a thing but there used to be these things where people would call up in heavy breath on your phone and say terrible things like about piggy seas and Scing seas and other C's like suck my juicy C's yeah yeah they're all all the all to see their they's Margot got her to phone up to her ear they're all like a what?

Also Olivia Hussey has like the shiniest hair in the world but cannot use a fucking phone every time she picks up the phone she just picks up and goes hello hello like cool out like cool out to cool out but she's a I mean if you're combing your hair that many times. It's so pretty. You're not practicing phone. It's so pretty. What do you think's in there? Perk?

Oh, I don't know. Definitely not peril. I've got that expensive stuff. This has to be my lasquilly. You're talking with Vidau-Viau- All of those still exist, I think. Not prow. Not peril. Come on. Come on. Don't embarrass me, not perell.

Sorry to embarrass you. Gotta mention that. That was my line. Are you unfamiliar with contemporary shampoos? I am. I suck at shampooing. I also second not having powdered sugar all over me right now. Look, that's what Christmas is all about, all about that, probably, thpippipippipipipipipipipipipip... that, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, thoompera, thoompera, thoompera, thoer, tho, thoompera, tho, th. Come, don't, don't, don't, don't to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. C. Ca, tho, tho, tho, thoer. C. C. thooooooooooooer. thooooooooooooooer. thoooooooooooooooooooooer sugar all over me right now. Okay, that's what Christmas is all about.

All about that powdered sugar. It's really good. So the creep that we're seeing outside with the POV climbs into the sorority house via the lattice. People need to stop putting lattice on the side of their homes. What are you doing with that? You're just creating an entry for badg, thi. Lock your attic door, what the fuck is going on? A very strange thing about this movie is that no one acknowledges that there is an attic. Except for the murderer.

Except for the murderer. Even at the end, miss Mac does. She does. But even at the end, where they realize that the murder is in the house. Oh, yeah. they spl-a' the ways. Not a fucking one of them goes in that attic. Never. There's another floor to this house.

Yeah, but... I mean, how could anyone get to the attic? I'm assuming the cops were as lazy as we are right now. They're like, ah, but I'm like, sweatpants, yeah. And like, tiixts, too, th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, they, they, they, they, they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. they. Yeah, they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. toe. too. th. toe. th me that. He did? No. He's 81 years old. 81 years young. She's name.

He was born Carmine Orico. No, yeah. Look at him. Look at him. You're that chiseled, mothucker. How are you going to go from Carmine Arico to John Saxon? Because it's the 70s and you want to get work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work to get to to to get to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tos and you want to get work. Because America. He got remarried in 2008. Fuck yeah, you did. All right.

So they say that they've got a moaner on the phone. Yeah. And he's not a moaner. He's a slurper. Yeah. There's a shrieker. A lot of weird popping and clocking going on. Yeah. Mm-mm. It's bad.

It's real bad. So Margot Kitter gets on the phone and started yelling at him. Yeah, she's fearless, that barf. And then the next scene we see the creep has creep down into a plastic bag in someone's closet. Yeah. The virgin, the professional virgin, which if that were a job, good for her. Get paid. And he kills her. He kills, uh, that's our first co-ed to die, and that is... Claire.

So he kills Claire by the very iconic scene from this movie of her being choked in a plastic bag. Yeah. The picture of the skin too tight is the bag over her face. With the wreath around it, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, she's like chasing around that cat.

It is a good name for a cat. And also Rob was convinced for most of the movie that Claude was the killer. Or at least in cahoots with the killer. Wait, what? What? Yeah, he thought Claude had something to do with it. The cat. The cat. Like at some point this movie was just gonna fucking break and it'd be like, oh by the way, the cat's been involved the entire time. Yeah. And this parakeet was his look held. I didn't go that far. You did. I didn't go that far. You did. Um, so, uh, Claire gets killed, and then she's supposed to meet her father the next day. Her dad sucks so bad. He's pretty shit.

He's like, literally just ruins everything. He's just a big nerd. Yeah, but he's a dick, too. Yeah, yeah, a lot of nerds are. And, uh. That's true. We care too much. That's what makes his ticks. The strang the str the str the str the str the str The str Str the str Str the str Str the str Str the the thia thia. thias. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiolk, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t th th's what makes this ticks. The strangler carries the body up to the attic

and moans and slurps while doing so. Yeah. And let's see, we meet Mrs. Mack, who is the like house mom? House mother's the coolest job. Yeah. Yeah. It's got to be. You just drink fucking, like cooking?

Sherry. It said straight Sherry, which I was surprised that was the label, but whatever. That she had hidden in a book, and in a toilet? Everywhere. She's got booze everywhere. She does. We meet Claire's dad.

He's waiting for Claire. He asked a Canadian man to come and help him find Claire after the guy after the guy after the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy and says, I said I was sorry. But looks cool. He's got cool rock and roll hair. He's a cool rock and roll guy. He looks like the guy from the Omen. Oh, yeah, yeah. Nigel Tufnel. Yeah, Nigel Tufn.

Then we see, um, Jess, who's played by Olivia Hussey, we see her boyfriend playing the piano. Peter, fucking Peter's a fucking cockbag. I have a lot of questions about Peter. I would love to answer them and talk shit on Peter while doing so. Wait, is Peter the guy from the brood? No, no, no, no, no, that's.

Wait, it was where the friend. Oh, no, that's Claire's boyfriend. Oh, what do I recognize Peter from? from then. Oh I don't know. Let's look up Peter. I'm looking. I'm looking. Oh maybe the thin red line? I don't know. 2001 A Space Odyssey I've never seen. Oh yeah, yeah he is that dude. Have I seen then? No, I haven't seen. The only Kubrick movie that I know that you've seen is the Shining. I think I've seen Dr. Strange love. Whoa. His name is Kyrdulia. Yeah. It's that's. Yeah. It's. It's. Yeah. It's. It's. Yeah. It's. Yeah. It's. It's. Yeah. It's. Yeah. Yeah. It's. Yeah. It's. Yeah. It's that's that's that's that's that's a good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a that. It's a that. It's a that. It's a good. Yeah. It's a good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah would you let him impregnate you? I mean, come on. Second. Is this piano good? It doesn't sound good.

It didn't seem good to you? So when he started playing his piano, because, uh, Jess tells him that she's pregnant and wants an abortion, thoo, and she's like, yeah, dog, that's cool. I want to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have the abortion the abortion to have the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to have to have to have to have to be thi. thi. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. theananananananananananananananananananan. I. I. I. I want to have the baby. And she's like, yeah, dog. That's cool. I want to have an abortion. My body, my choice. Go fuck yourself. Yeah. Which, you know, and he keeps like nagging her about it. So he goes to have his piano recital before the piano judges. He's so sweaty during this piano turning. Well, he's wearing a turtlenenenenenenenenenene turtle turtle like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, and he's. t, and he's. t, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, a t. t. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he's. he. he's. he. he. he's like, like, when he's playing I was like is this some like

detuned free jazz shit that I'm just not getting like is this some more like yeah I went out a very nerdy path that I won't trouble everyone with right now but it seemed like his hands were just like three keys off yeah from what he meant to do yeah yeah it wasn't good he was not a good piano he was not a No. I had the note Peter is bad at piano. Okay, just making sure. So maybe that's why the piano judges didn't like it is because it was bad. Yeah. Okay.

So Claire's missing, her dad's trying to find her. And then Barb gets very drunk. Constantly. She's, they go to the police station, Barb and Phil, and Claire's father, and she's talking to the cops and she turns around and opens a beer in the police station while she's talking to the cops, and that's when she gives the cops her telephone number. The Felatio joke. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was good. That cop, come on, buddy. Yeah. He's pretty useless.

Yeah, no one implies at any point. She even says, you've been implying it all day. Literally, I've never heard anybody say it was Barb's fault. And Phil says, go to bed, you're drunk. Yeah. And it's like, oh, man, you're going to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be a to be to be a to be a me to be a me to be a meme to be a meme a meme to be a meme Uh, but yes, I did not bother to look it up because this is the lazy episode. Christmas is coming guys, just mellow out, man. It's no need to be stressed. What's the?

So, what's the, so, they're having dinner and it's Mrs. Mac, Claire's father, Barb and Phil. Barb's drinking on the couch and she gets something, goes, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, to, to, to, uh, to, uh, the, uh, uh, to, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, th, the, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, to, to, the, to, the, the, to, the, to, to, the, to, to, to, to, the, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,. Barb's drinking on the couch and she gets him and goes, you know that turtles can screw for three days. What the fuck are you talking about, Barb? No one knows, and just because I never had one last more than 30 seconds or whatever she says. And it's like, ah, that's a good bust. Yeah, pretty good. Is that a pun? Unintentional.

And then the very next scene is just Claude licking the plastic bag that's covering his owner's face. Oh yeah, is that what triggered Rob to be like, whoa, what's going on here? The next note I have says maybe Claude is the killer. No, Claude is just a cat. Your cat will eat you if you pass away. Know this. I think they would eat me if I was just like mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly mostly this. I think they would eat me if I was just like mostly dead. Missy's convinced if I die out of this house that Freya, my little fat cat, they're just going to find it like her sleeping inside of my tummy. That's

disgusting. I ate too many cookies and now I don't feel well. So no kitty jokes. No something living in your stomach. Oh, we didn't talk about Claire's boyfriend's fur coat. And from that point on, I only address him as fur coat. I think I thought he was the killer because of that coat. You didn't think he was Joe Nameth because of that kind of that. No. Well, the fact, they like, they like, the big point of the fact that he's a that hockey mask when she finds him at the rink that's like kind of scary Yeah, and I was like, oh, he's definitely the killer. Oh, we forgot to mention there's been another girl that's been murdered.

Well, okay, that's a, it was like a young girl, like a 13-year-old. Her mother has reported her missing and then they eventually find her body in the park. Right. But my question is who the the the the the the thi is who's is who's is who's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their is their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their. their. their. their. their. their is, their is, their is, their is, their. their. th. the. the. theathe. theateateateateateat. It's teat. It's teateat. It's teat. It's th. It's theateateateate. think we're supposed to believe that he did it before he got to them. That doesn't make any sense though, because the girl went missing after school on day two. Oh, we saw, okay. We saw Claire die on day one. Okay. See what I mean? Okay, so yeah, he must be coming and going so maybe? Maybe there's two murderers. The suspect, Peter. Yeah. Peter becomes a suspect. Everyone's a suspect. Everyone's a suspect.

A lot of pinky rings in this movie. A lot of pinkie rings in the 70s. Yeah. Distressing. It is distressing. So they find the teen that was killed in the park. This is after Mrs. Mack is killed though. Oh, okay. She gets sort of hook and pullied into the attic.

What was that doing in the attic? Ah, and hook and pulling? Yeah. And then the attic door closes behind her. And I love a good like murder room door closing, like a Texas chainsaw or like, yeah. Yeah, we just see her legs, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, the the the the the think, think, think, think, thi, thi, thi, sort thi, sort thi, sort thi, sort thi, sort thi, sort thi, sort thi, sort thi, sort thi, sort thi, sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort, sort sort sort, sort sort, sort, sort sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, so, so, so, sort of, sort of't see any, I think the closest we see to an actual kill is Barb. Yeah. Well, yeah, we just see her legs being, uh, Ms. Max, Mrs. Max's legs being drug up into the attic. Yeah. And then the door quietly closing.

Yeah. For, I assume, for her to be licked later by Claude, how is getting up in the attic? the door too's to be l. to be l. Cla, to be li. to be li. to be, to be, to be, the, to be, the, to be, to be, th, the, th, th. th. th. thi, th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, the their, thi, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, the the the the the the the the the th. the the the th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. to, to. the. to. the to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the th. th, there's a door. It's just nobody cares. But it's like a door that's at the top of a ladder that's closed. The clock would have to be very crafty. Well, maybe the killer's letting him in because Claude is in Cahooth's. Rob's theory is really coming together. I know what's it. It's like, you know, Jess keeps getting these dirty phone calls and he's saying like weird shit now like, what's your mother and I need to know is, where's Agnes? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What have you done with Agnes?

And at one point he references an argument that she had with Peter. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So she calls the police to report this. Yeah. And she's like, the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the thi. thi. thi. th. they. they. th. they. they. they. th. thi. th. they. they. their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to report this. Yep. And she's like, you just hear her side of the conversation, she goes, yes, I'll hold, but only for a moment. Like, hey, you fucking dictate this. You tell them. So that's what makes me believe she doesn't know how phones work. Yeah. And I was like, oh, I feel you barb I have

those two. Next to her glass menagerie she does not seem the type to have a glass menagerie. You know what I mean? Well Barb seems to be like what 37? Sure. Yeah so maybe she's had a life before it. It's basically the plot of Billy Madison, but for college? She's never not drunk. From 1948, she was born, this was 74, 58, 68, 24. Yeah, 24. So that's like college aged if you were fucking around. She's at least Canadian.

Barb was definitely fucking around. Oh, yeah. What do you think Barb's major is? Killing time, you know, you, you, you, you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you know, you th? You th? You know what th? You th? You know what th? You know what th? th? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? tho? thi? She's thi's th? She's th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th? She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th? She's th. She's thi? She's thi? She's thi? She's thi? thi? thi? thi? thate? that that that that that that that thooooooooooooooooo' the? She's the? She's the? She's least Canadian. Barb was definitely fucking around. Oh yeah. What do you think Barb's major is? Killing time, you know, bro? You know what I'm saying? Yes, I do. I also hold a degree in that. I bet Barb also has a degree from the School of Hard Knox. Oh, well, probably. So like Peter keeps showing up and leaving.

Yeah, just saying things like, we're gonna get married. Yeah, she doesn't want to get married to you dog. I would not have your baby. You guys have had a dallian. She wants to take care of the situation. And like you're not that good at the piano. No, maybe you had some chops. Maybe if you just play fucking chopsticks.

You gotta start somewhere, bro. You can't just sit down and start banging and think you're a pianist. And sweating. So like the second half of the movie I would say is tracing phone calls. They definitely get a lot into the inner workings of the phone call. Can you explain to me what that room filled with a machine is? The way phone used to work? I mean like how are they tracing it with that machine room? So what I think is happening is

there's he knows where their connection is and then he's finding out where the other connection is going to. But what if it was in like Florida? I think because he, I don't tho, but I think is I think what it is is it's basically like a giant switchboard. So it's like a mechanized gigantic switchboards. So whether than having the operator doing the switchboarding, I'm doing switchboarding hands, you guys can imagine that right now. Pulling, pulling, pulling, yeah. Plugging. It's going, it's doing it mechanically. So it's just basically like a switchboard writ large that he has to run around and investigate, is what I took it as.

Okay. Why it taken so long to figure out how the calls were coming from inside the house? I don't know. Okay. Because plot, I guess. So like, John, it's a good plot device though. I mean, like, when a stranger calls the carcane movie, the the the the though. I mean like Winter Stranger calls the Carol Kane movie and like it's good like. It's the classic urban legend. Yeah and I'm surprised it's not used more now because the fucking cell phones. Make it so easy to call from inside the house. It seems but like

cell phones are the thing you have to defeat in a horror movie or else they just diffuse every horror movie. Yeah. Except for hush they use those really well. Yeah. I guess they just they just. They just. They just. They just. They just. they just. they just. they just h h us. they they just h. they they use. They use. They use. They use. They use. They use. They use. They use. They use. I they use. I they use. I they use. I use. I use. I use. I use. I use the the the their h. I use. I use. I use. I use. I use. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It use. It use. It use. It use. It use. It. It. It. It. I use. I use. I use. I use. I use. I use. I use. I use. I use. I use. I use. I use. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the.they just defused himself. They had it self-defeating Cellphonia. But yeah, so that's what I think was happening but yeah calls are coming from the house. We find out. Right. Which, okay so John Saxon is a cop who is supposed to be helping but is like largely unhelpful and basically just nebbing into all their shit. So the cop that he's in an office with is high out of his mind, right? Oh yeah he just giggles the entire time. Just giggling and he has the best job he's just a giggler. If you laugh one more time, I'm sorry. I really like that guy. He was somebody's the thuke, he was somebody's brother. I really like, he was somebody's a the the the the the the the the th. He's br. He's br. He's br. He's br. He's br. He's br. He's br. He's br. He's br. He's br. He's br. He was somebody's br. He's br. He was somebody's br. He's br. He's br- he was somebody's br-he. He's br th. He's br-he. He's br-I. He's br-I. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. He's the the the the the the the the the th. He's br. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's t. He's t. He's t. He's t t. He's th th th th th th th th th th. He's brother. Was he the friend desk guy's brother? It doesn't really. It doesn't really my name. It doesn't really my name.

It was like, hey, bam, bada ma'am, bada-ma. Yeah. And that's how he spoke. Yeah. It was weird. It was like an auctioneer, but there was nothing being sold. Or said, apparently if I just come, burlur- BD-Row. Boop-poo! Happy holidays. Yeah. There's carolers to come to the door, and Jess takes the time out of murder times to wall to listen to them.

And then give some money, I guess. Is that what you're supposed to do if you get a caroler? Yeah. I didn't know. They're like, hey you and they were like hey we do church services I'm like yeah that's not my scene thanks though it's like no problem I'd have some cookies and I was like definitely and I was like I should probably throw these cookies away did you eat what's up cookies numb no I did eat them I'm saying I'm saying I don't very uncomfortable. You've never had that happen? No.

I don't live in an area where people will come to your door. See, I figured your neighborhood would get it all the time. You got like 27 churches there? Just a bunch of Italians. Yeah. Italians don't care about? I don't think so. I think we wait for things to come to us. Also the children in my neighborhood are only

going to ring your doorbell if they're trying to like get something from you. They'll sell their candies for their basketball team. Candles, man this girl rang my doorbell trying to sell me a candle and I was like I don't have any cash can I like pay for it? And she was like, their there any other way I can pay for? And she was like, what are other ways can I pay for? And she was like, you give me money now. And I was like, no, that was the first way. So I think you should go home. She was like throwing some fucking deep psychic shit on you. Yeah, there's another way.

I can give me fucking cash right now. anything happened to it. That's more accurate in my neighborhood than you know. So the carolers leave after a lady runs up and goes, get these goddamn kids in the car, there's a murder. I was so mad that those kids were out after this murder had happened. Like why is nobody paying attention to these children? Why is nobody saving them? Why is nobody care? Also they sang like adults because they were definitely an adult track of singers. It was beautiful? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi thi thi theea thea thea thea thea. thi thi thi thi thi thi th were definitely an adult track of singers. It was beautiful. It was fine. I like that the cops like what do you and Peter fighting about? Yeah like that isn't any of your business and she's like I want to have an abortion and John Saxon's like hmm mm-hmm like? It's 1974 you do what you got to do girl. It's just it's he's like, suddenly trying to be a therapist or something.

Yeah, I think he's supposed to be the likable dude. Well, I guess fur coat's supposed to be as well, but... See, I thought it was a killer because of the fur coat. Just the fur coat? Just the fur coat? It's like, thuu. It's, the th. It's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. he's he's he's he's he's hea. hea. hea. he's he. he. he. he. he. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. He's supposed. th. He's supposed. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. It's supposed. It's supposed. It's supposed. It's supposed to to to to ttttttttth. th. th. thi. It's supposed. It's supposed. It's supposed. It's supposed. It's supposed. It's supposed. It's hard look to, I mean Joe Namath did it, but it's a hard look to pull off. I don't think it looked good though. I don't think it ever looks good. I think you just have to own it. You just have to be like, well, I'm wearing a fucking fur coat. I am Sasquah right now.

So John Saxon tells the front told just that the calls are coming from inside the house and he's like just go out the front door and she's like why and he's like, ah? The calls are coming from inside the house. Like you had one fucking job. What was his weird noise that he made those? Yeah, pretty much. It was like he broke for a little thing. Yeah. And then she doesn't leave the house. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the house. the house. the the house. the the the the th. the the th. th. thoes. tho. the thoes. the the call. the call. the call. the call. the call. the call. the call. the call. the call. the call. the call. the call. the call. the call. the call. Oh, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho. tho. tho. tho. thoo. thoooooooooooooooo. the the the the the the the the the the thoooooooooooo. the the broke for a little bit. Yeah. And then, she doesn't leave the house. She doth not leave. It's got in her own fault. Whoa! I mean, if someone tells me that I'm popping out the front door.

She does run deeper into the house. Yeah, why would you wouldn't do that? Especially if Phil's not answering you. thii. dead. So Peter has heard her screaming or someone screaming from inside the house. Barb has been killed by her own glass menagerie unicorn. Yeah. Stabbed to death by the fella. Yeah. And then we see that Phil goes in to see what's going on with Barb and the door closes behind her. We don't see Phil's death. Which I was glad about. I don't like Phil. I didn't want to see anybody died. to let me put that. they. they. they. they. they. they. to. to. they. they. to. they. to. to. they. to. they. to. to. to. to. to. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. Yeah. S. the. their the. the. the the. the the the. the the. the the the. the the the the the. their their the window. And she's bugged out because she's like gotten into her head that it might be Peter that's committing these murderers and John Saxon's been like, well, it might be Peter, I guess.

I mean, fuck, look at that dude, he's crazy. Can't play piano for shit and they see his piano player. So Barb or Jess kills Peter. Yeah, off screen. We like come back to the basement the basement the basement the basement the basement the basement the basement the basement the basement the basement the basement. the basement. the b the b. the b. the b. the b. the b. the b. the b. the b. the b. the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thatea. He's like. He's th. He screen. We like come back to the basement and he is dead and she is like passed out next to him. She's beat him to death with a poker from the, uh, from the fireplace. You know what though? Peter kind of had it coming. He, I mean, you don't just break somebody's fucking window like that and walk into their home. You also don't tell someone what they can do with their body. get into that politics, but I agree. But like, I think I feel if you kick in someone's basement window and

sneak into their home, you get what you have coming to you, which might be being beaten to death. Agreed, but if I thought that I heard you screaming and I couldn't get into your house, I'm like kicking your window. If you kick out window, I'm going to be mad Alan. No doubt, I will beat you to death, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll th, I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I, I'll th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th. th. th. thin, I'll thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, to thin, to thin, thin, thin, thin, the thin, thin, thi. thi, to death. I'm just telling you. I know we're always just a hair's breath away from that. Just for me beating you to death. Just don't make me beat you to death. Jeez.

Wow, wow. Yeah. Just call the cops. It'll be fine. Oh, she does see, that's right. Which guy makes me have the note, they dead? They dead, for sure. And it takes the cops, I don't know, four hours to come to the house. I mean, the cop is on the phone.

He literally says we will be there in five minutes, 45 minutes go by. Just time to dead for a while. Yeah. Like not reporting, I guess. He had the great low-budget throat slit of just hold her head back and there's a red around the neck. He was like made like a concerned dad. It looked like made like a concerned dad.

their at the foot of the bed acting like a concerned dad even though that's not his daughter his daughter is still missing? New daughter. Yeah I'm your new dad and she's like my dad's not dead and he's like no. New daughter. No new daughter. That guy's not gonna take that for an answer. No. And the copsmother's bodies. It's back, yeah. If only there was another floor of this house we could search. Well, see you guys back at the station. Yeah, because Claire's dad like faints and everybody has to help him out. Like, I'm so mad at John Saxon at this point, because he's supposed to be the good cop, the reasonable cop, the hard-working cop outside. There's a cop on the front porch as that pans away. There's a cop in the room with her too. Really? No, no, no, they all

leave her in the room. Oh no, that's right. He shuts the room and then oh he's the cup in the front porch, never mind. And then the phone thrown, and That's the killer. Yeah. In the house. And then the phone rings. Credit's rule. Yeah. Pretty good. Pretty good.

Do you like the ambiguous killer thing? Do you? I do, because, as we know, once you start explaining these people, shit just starts falling apart. That's what happens in the remake of this movie. Yeah, that's what's the to to the remake of this movie. Yeah, that's what it looked like from the charler. It's set up that you know like the backstory of the killer, which might be why I also thought it was the fur code guy. Oh, exactly.

Because it was like, I don't know, it doesn't matter. It really doesn't. Well, one thing I learned from Rob don't give a shit why Michael Myers is Michael Myers. I just love that he's Michael Myers. Sure. He's terrifying because I don't know what it is. I don't know what made this otherwise human child a monster and I don't need to know that. That's what makes it fun. Well it's interesting in this movie because the dialogue is so specific that he's saying like what have you done with Agnes what have have you done with the baby? Like, what is that about? Like, what happened? I don't know, it's kind of interesting,

but you never find out any more about who this person is or what happened to Agnes or, yeah. Well, this goes back to a million and one episode to go the kill list. One thing I really loved about that movie is like, that, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. I thi. I thi. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thin, to to to to toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. thi. th that all together in my brain pan though. I'll try to figure that out. Well, I think this made a little more sense than guilt list, thankfully. Supposedly it's based on actual murders. Oh, no shit. Canadiens. Canadians.

They also thinks it's mainly based on the myth like that. They are. That's all. It's always the babysitter. Well, it's such a vulnerable thing because you're not in your own home. Yeah. And you're like responsible for small children when you're basically a child yourself. Yeah. I definitely was like babysitting way too young. Like, who would leave a 10-year-old with an infant? Whoa. Wow. Yeah. Hi Krista. I'm glad you're still alive. Have you ever seen Adventures in Babysitting? The Elizabeth Shoe vehicle? Yes, but not for a very long time. It's a good-ass movie. Is it?

Yeah, when we do our weird movies from the 80s podcast, we talked about it. I feel like we've already done that. About a million times. Alan. Okay. You want to go the rating space? Ah, I do. Good. What's wrong with us all of a sudden? I was the cop from the movie. Ah, ah, ah.

Do you want to go first? So useless, though. Oh, he's terrible. No, I don't want to go first. He's just the delivery vehicle for the f the the f the the f the f the delivery the f for the delivery vehicle the delivery vehicle for the delivery vehicle for the delivery vehicle for the delivery vehicle for the delivery vehicle for the delivery vehicle for the delivery vehicle for the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the delivery vehicle the delivery vehicle for the the the only purpose. And like, there's like the scene where John Saxon is talking to him and he's like, so a girl is found dead and this girl is missing and her house has been getting obscene phone calls but you didn't think it was worth looking into. And he's like, uh, condemnation of the police department. Yeah, the police department is pretty shitty in this movie.

The only one who's really working hard, I feel, is a phone room guy and I don't know what he's doing. And he doesn't work for, he's not a cop. Oh, he works for the phone company. Yeah, phone room. Uh, I wanted the useless cop to be more Charles Pierce's character from the original, um, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, uh, uh, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the only, the only, the only, the only, the only, the only, the only, the only, the only, the only, the only, the only, the only, the only, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the only, the only, the only, the only, the only one, the only, the only only only only one, the only only, the only, the only only, the only only, the only, oh shit, the town that dreaded sundown. Yeah, where he's just like the comic foil through the entire thing, like. Oh, he keeps leasing it. There's that 15 minute segment where he loses his keys. Yeah, yeah, and like, that's so bad. That's so bad. That's the director of the movie. That's titular. Titular. Titul or the titular. Tituuiler. thea thea's, thea. thea. the-The-The-The-The-The-The-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-tha-tha-tha-a-a-a-tha-tha-tha-tha-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the Trident Sun Down. He is the entire, in the entire town.

Wow, way to really vastly misuse titular, Hitchman. Yeah, you just want to say titty. Phing that bell. It's the holidays. Ring the bell. the bale. Silver bells. Silver bells!

Jingle bells, Batman smells. Robin laid an egg. The Batmobile lost its wheel, and the Joker got away. Yeah, think about it, won't you? I'd prefer not to. Ratings phase. Yeah, rating phase. You go first.

I'm going to give this movie an eight. Yeah. It is so fun. I love the ambiguous ending. I love the 70s feel of it. It shot wonderfully. It makes sense knowing that this guy did a Christmas story. That's so strange. But like, there's a, there's a, there's a,

there's a'wanawee. There's like a... I don't think that's what Juadiv means either. There's a titular... Do you mean Jeanne say what? Yeah, there's a certain, like, thing that you're like, oh, that's the same director. I can totally see that. I that's so interesting because I don't see that. Ding! Oh, just the one melon. You're dim.

You're dumb, your damn piece. It's sort of like how, had I not known that John Carpenter directed Christine, I could tell the John Carpenter directed Christine. Is it because it goes, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, poo, poo, poo, poo, poo. No, it's because of a, no. No, It, it. It's because it. No, it. No, it. No, it. No, it. No, it. No, it's because it. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. It's because it's because it. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. B. No, it's, it's, it. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B, the, b, b, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. No. No. No. No. No. No. It's. It's. It's. It's because, it's because, it's because, it's because, it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because it's because, because it's because of... No, no. I will. I don't want it. I have to fun teen cookies. This is our worst episode we've ever done. Our Christmas episodes are always a little loopy.

Why is that? Christmas. We're even like it. That's probably why. We're trying to make it joyful for all of you. So hard to try. But there's just sort of like like a like a like a like a like a like a feel like a feel like a feel like a feel like a feel like a feel like a feel like a feel like a feel like a feel like a feel like a feel like a feel like a feel like a feel like a feel like a feel like a feel like a feel like a feel like a feel like a feel like a feel a feel sort of like a feel that both movies have, I think. That's fine.

And it might be forcing that square bag into a round hole, but it's sort of what I got when I walked away from it. But yeah, it's shot really well, the acting is great. Margotta was fucking ridiculous in this movie. Yeah. Yeah, eight. I would totally tell people to watch this movie. And it's it it it the the tha tha tha tha tha tha th tell people to watch this movie and it's like it predates the slasher movement.

Yeah, and it has like elements of a gialo in it as well. He's finally nailing it. I'm really happy. I've had a good teacher. Yeah, I will see your eight and match your eight. Oh, awesome. I do think it's really fun. I also like the ambiguous killer at the end. And I love all the point of view shots. I love that the cats in cahoots with them.

I just, I just think it's, and I do, as much as it angers me when we talk about them in these movies, I love inadequate police work. Sure. I'm just always like, come on. It it, it, it, it's, I's, I's, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I's, th, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm th. th. thi, I'm th. thi, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm the the the, the, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, the, the, the, the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I's. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. tho, that, that, tho, that, tho.. tho. tho. thoooo. thoooo. thoooooooo. tho. the. It's like such a good plot driver in horror movies. The shitty, the like, just completely incompetent cops, even if they're as hunky as John Saxon. I feel like movie makers at this point in time

were all kind of hippies and like counterculture folk. Not all of them, obviously. There was the older generation that wasn't that. the guys that the thooo tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the. the. the. tho-a. tho-I. the. thi. tho-I's, tho-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s. tho-s. tho-s. tho-s. tho-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s. tho-s. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. tho'-s. tho'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'ea-s'-s. tho'-sthe, like that, what was that book? It was it, shock waves? Shock value. Shock value. Where it talks about those directors that came out of that school.

Yeah, totally. And like, they're all kind of like, you know, miscreants and nighed and nir d'er. I don't think they have a lot of respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect respect to to be to to be to be their respect respect respect respect respect respect to be to to to to to to they they to be to they to they to they they they to they they have a lot. .. they they they they they they they they they they they they they they have they have they have they have a they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they. I they. I they. I they. I they they. I they they. I they they. I they they. I they. I their kind. I to be kind. I to be kind. I to be kind. I to be kind. to to to to to to to to Much to the like, uh, dismay of all of our protagonists. Yes. It's not, it's not to the benefit of anyone that they're incompetent, except for our killers. Yeah, always benefit the killers. So eight's all around. Happy holidays. Happy faulidays. Happy. Katie, speaking of the holidays, would you like to open a present? I would.

Cryptocurium. Cryptocurium. Thanks, Jason has sent us a box from Parcel of Terror. Let me get this open. Do you want me to turn on the light so you can see better? Now, squint. All right, I'll give you the box, I'll take the letter as we do. This month's parcel of terror includes, first, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a thololol, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, tho, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, toa, the toa, the the the tho, tho, the, the, the, the, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the., thea.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a, terror includes, first, a Mongolian deathworm wall plaque. The sixth in our series of cryptosuology-themed wall plaques depicts the elusive and horrifying

beast of the Gobi desert. Cast in solid resin and individually hand painted in a metallic gold finish, comes ready to hang with attached metal latch. Oh, that is creepy. Yeah. Who's gonna love that is creepy. Who's going to love that? Rob. Rob. Rab.

Rab. The father of the Claude Theory. Claude Theory, as he calls it. Alice Sweet Alice Print Slash sticker. A tribute to the 1976 American Slasher film in the form of an illustration by Cryptocurum, their Coptocurium guest illustrator Mike Bukowski of illustro-obscureum and a high-quality pearl finished sticker of the original film poster art. See more of Mike's amazing work at yog-loglog-soch dot WordPress.com.

I'm going to spell that for you. It's a Y-O-G-H-I-O-T-H-O-T-Ho-SotH dot. that's on. I'm going to to the the stock that that's on. You're gonna enjoy that. Oh, it gives me the shivers. Oh, and here's the, uh, the movie, uh, poster as well. Oh, I have never seen this. Neither of I. We should probably do this on the podcast.

It's neither of us to see it. Maybe this can be the, right, Dracula magnet, the sixth in our series of classic era monster magnets based on the universal films, available only through the parcel of terror, cast in solid resin and individually hand painted in a silver screen, black and white finish. Oh, that's amazing. Oh, that's amazing. Yeah. All right, Necronomicon ex-Mortis pin. Oh, that's gorgeous. Sorry. Pardon me, sir. The evil book of the dead with the power to control the deadites.

Cast and solid resin and individually hand painted comes ready to wear with attached metal pinback. Let me see that. That's really sweet. that is really sweet. the the that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that is really. that. that is really. that. that. that. that is that is really. that is. that is really. that. that. that is that is. that is. that is. that is. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that. that. that. that is really. that. that is really. that. that is really. that is that. that is really. that is really. that is really. thea. evil dead right? Okay. You should you should wear this on your shirt. I will. Okay. Freddie Kruger matches. Who better to adorn a box of matches than an undead dream invading burn victim. Handmade especially for the parcel of terror by the Portmantow Paper Company. What? Hold on. I'm getting it. I'm getting it's in a little black sack. I love these black sacks. That's hilarious. That is the cutest thing. It's just a little book of matches with Freddy Kruger on them. And you know what you can do with these is keep them in your bathroom so when people poop they can

lay in a match and then it won't smell. And I think it's a really funny thing to do. Oh, I love this. Krugerpup. Kruppkin. Do you want this shit in your house? Of course you do. Go to Cryptocurium.com, CRY, PTO, C-U-R-I-U-M, $35 a month, and this can be delivered to you. It's better than any other monthly subscription box, and that's just how it is. That's just the story.

That's what it is. I heard that there are no longer any monthly subscription box. This is the one. I mean, not only are they not horror ones, they got rid of like clothes, they got rid of makeup, they got rid of those cheese ones, because people were like, I don't want cheese, I want plaques. That's snack company that's on every other podcast, they're gone. Yeah, this is, this is, this is replaced them. Yeah, this is, uh, oh God. Oh boy. You're going to have the worst heartburn. I don't know if that's a pun or not. That was a good pun.

He was alright. Yeah, that was good. So go to Cryptogyram, give Jason your money. So, is this the end of our Christmas season? I guess it is, yeah. Just kidding. What? Because Christmas is on a Sunday this year. We thought, like, why not split the love? Let's book in that mothfucker. That's exactly what I was thinking, but you said it so much better than I could. Thank you.

This is part of trying not to be an asshole. We're going to do two Christmas movies a movie that we like. Say it. Guys, we got to pick movies that we like this time not Yeah, fucking Silent Hill. Sorry about that We're gonna do Gremlins. Gremlins. That's not how that little cheer works, but that's okay. I don't sports. No, I know I know you don't. I know you don't. Gremlins. You're doing a lot of clapping today. I feel you're just very, very enthused. So happy to be here with you, Katie, just talking about Christmas and... Proud to be here.

Cooking's proud to be an American. Where at least I know I'm free. So we're going to be singing more Christmas songs, I'm sure. That's not. Is that a tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha thatha thathea' thi thathea' thi- thi- thoomoomatop th. I th. I's th. I's th. I'm very th. I'm just very th. I'm just very th. I'm just very. I'm just very. I'm just very tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha. I thi very thi thi. I thi. thi. thi. tha. ta. toda. toda. today today. today. today. today. today. today. today. thi. tha. So we're going to be singing more Christmas songs, I'm sure. That's not, is that a Christmas song? It is now. Mm-hmm. There'd be, hopefully they'll be less clapping. Come back next, come back next week.

I'll put mittens on to that softer. Yeah, just'd be fun. In the meantime, if you want to give us a Christmas present, the best thing, or Hanukle present, it's fine, either one. Juquanza? Fest of us? Whatever it is that you celebrate, we're happy to celebrate it with you, but what we would really like is a gift from you, by you going on, to, their, their, their, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, their, their, to, their, to, to, their, to, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, their, their, their, to, to, to, toe.e.e. too, too, toe.e. toe. toe. the the their their their, told we're like still trying to figure that out. It doesn't make any sense but you know help us out. Yeah 65 of you have helped us so far. That's crazy. Yeah thank you

for doing that. We but that's not nearly as many people has download every episode so there's a shitload of you who so much for you and this is free This is the season of giving give us something back You think this is free this isn't free I mean it's free for you yeah this is my time my time is worth money in some cultures and our money is worth money? And our money is worth money because we pay for this too sure well Jason's basically covering us these days thanks Jason thank thank he you he you he you he you he you th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that th th that th is th is that th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is that is that is that that that that that that they theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee the the the the the that th's basically covering us these days. Thanks Jason. Thank you Jason. Plus we made all that sweet t-shirt money. Katie, I'm trying to hype up. We need this. All right guys, come on. It's the holiday season. Boop. And clip-biddy-clop. I don't know. I'm just wild about horses. Oh, you're not wild about horses.

Thanks for listening to another episode of where wolf ambulance. I'm sorry if we were very weird this time. No, I'm not fucking. It was fun. Bye. Bye. the