Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 115- House (Hausu) (1977)

Episode Date: January 2, 2017

Happy New Years, EMTs! We'd love to kick it off with a real doozy of a movie, selected by our very first repeat guest, our pal Carrie. She's picked the 1977 Japanese psychedelic horror film "Hausu." Special topics for your consideration include: the weirdness of cats, not being sure whether something is bananas or just lost in the translation, why the hell Mr. Togo is even in this movie, facts about people such as Howard Hughes and the idea that more movies ought to be written by 11-year-old girls.  Have you seen this one? Did you like it? What would your name be if you were a character in it? Let us know your thoughts at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Twitter @werebulance or on Instagram @werewolfambulance. You can also email us for Mailbag! at [e-mail]. We love to hear from you. Don't forget about our sponsor, Cryptocurium! New year, new you, new Parcels of Terror-- get the monthly subscription box at www.cryptocurium.com and that's one resolution off your list, just like that! Can't get enough of this week's guest Carrie? Check out her first guest appearance, Episode 5: "The Godmonster of Indian Flats." Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast. 

Hey, welcome to another episode of Wearewolf Ambulance. I'm Alan and I gotta get out of here. My dad came home with his dumb new stepmom wife and this is just, do you guys want to go to my aunt's house with me? Um, sure. Yeah, is it real weird? Yeah, yeah. Hi, I'm Alan. I'm Katie. And we're joined by a returning guest. Returning guest.

Our first guest ever is our first repeat guest ever. Hey, Carrie. Hi, thanks so much for having me back. I'm glad to have you. And I'm glad that we that we that we that we that we that we that we that we that we that we that we that we're that we're that we're that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that we're doing a movie that people have seen and can find. Although I just found out today that Criterion is no longer on Hulu. Oh really? They started their own Criterion like channel.

Get out of here with that shit. This is a Criterion movie. What is Criterion? I know Hedges talks about it a lot. It's a they's aue films with like high quality. To stick merit. Oh, okay. Not necessarily because they have done Armageddon. Oh, wow.

I want to close. But they, yeah, so they do like really good transfers and then they'll have like some nerd write an essay about the movie and and they'll be all these extras and stuff. Cool. Well, Carrie, tell us what you've brought.. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the their?. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. te. they. they. the. their. the.e. their. their. their. their. their and there'll be all these extras and stuff. Cool. Well, Carrie, tell us what you've brought and why. Yeah, while we're driving to my aunt's house. Oh, right. I'm going to take the bus, I think, with this cat.

Well, when I was asked to return, I was trying to think of a movie, the god monster, I treated last time. So I was thinking about the movie, Housu, which I guess is just known as like House. That's what it's called, but if you try to Google it, you get like 800 movies called House. And that show with a doctor who's got a cane, I guess. But anyways, it's Japanese movie, their thate-nightahs. of ladies having horror. Having horror for sure. And chaos, complete and utter chaos. I love their names and also like, I sort of hate their names.

They're all named for like their attributes, I guess. You want to go down the list of names? Sure. We're introduced first to gorgeous and fantasy, which is like a night at cheerleaders on Penn Avenue. Yeah. And then there's sweet. Sweet, because she's sweet. Yeah. And she wears an apron through most of the movies.

She loves to clean. She's a very sweet girl. There's Kung Fu. Sure. One of my favorites. Yeah, she's the best. Melody, who's musically inclined, naturally. And Mac, short for stomach, because she loves to eat and I love her so much. Because at one point she's just double fisting hamburgers.

Oh yeah. And she's just like, fuck you. Never not eating. She just doesn't get enough. Oh, and there's proff too, because she was glasses. Mac does not get enough screen time as far as I'm concerned. No. She suffers from the killed off first syndrome.

Of spoilers. There will be spoilers. Oh, sorry. If you're coming to us for the first time for the return of Carrie, there will be spoilers. Yeah. If I was one of these girls, I think I would be like crab. Yeah, I'm always crabby oh you I don't know I was thinking

I couldn't come up with anything I was too brain dumb I was watching it I can't see how that could happen watching this movie I would have a few were one of these Japanese girls I would just have to be mr. togu right like mr. toge doing there though like Mr. Togo really quickly? Okay, he lives on Sesame Street. Yeah. Because it's in, like, when you go to Mr. Togo's house and it's just like, boom, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. All of a sudden, it's in English and French.

Yeah. It's like a musical. Yeah. His whole lifestyle is very, like monkeys montage sequence. It really is. There's a lot of sunshine. And then it goes literally bananas. Literally banana.

It goes literally. He falls down the steps, lands in a bucket, spins around in the street while a car almost hits him and the the the the, it. And the, it. And the, it. And the, it. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's basically. It's basically, it. It's, it, it, it. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it. It's, it. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, lands in a bucket, spins around in the street while a car almost hits him and then slides down a hill. And then a child plays drums on his butt bucket butt while he's calling the okay but like why is he going on vacation with his students? Yep. I mean he should be first off fired and then second indicted right like oh man mr. Toe but you know everyone trust mr. Togo because he's the weird hippy guy at school? That is the second the second the th. the second th. th. the the th. th. the the th. the th. the the the th. the th. the th. the th. the th. the th. the th. th. th. th. the their th. thi. thi. their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. t. t. t. t. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. t, but you know, everyone trust Mr. Togo because he's the weird hippie guy at the school. That is the second time he dropped the ball on those girls because they were supposed to go to his family's house and then he's like, oh, my sister's having a baby, which by the way, usually you have advanced notice. Yeah, unless Mr. Togo, that should be exciting news.

And also, like, why were you going to go see your teacher's sister's house? Like, I just don't understand this situation at all. I don't know, because coach wouldn't hang out with them, I guess. I thought coach was a student, because she was had such a young face. And she's going into an arranged marriage, which is referenced, and I never followed them. I bet you're marrying for love, no it's arranged, okay, bye. And then she goes, how nice, summer vacation. So I was earlier just reading over my notes like prepping and I was like, this is, this is just insanity.

My notes do not make any sense taken out of context, and actually don't make much sense in context either. Like the, into the first 10 minutes of the movie and then the ending credits are like sitcom. Yeah. Credits like it's like full house ooh, like it's so strange. Like it just so such a weird tone. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I mean throughout it, because it was directed by a guy who directed commercials

previous to doing this. He was approached by somebody who was like, hey, can you make a movie like Jaws? And he was like, definitely. So got together with his 11-year-old daughter and was like, let's write a movie, and that's why it's so nutbar. And she was like, I have some great ideas. She was terrified of being trapped underneath futons. Who isn't?

Which is how sweet dies. Yeah. All the kills are her ideas. Wow. She was like, listen, house that eats people, people getting stuck in a piano. Just weird shit everywhere. Old ladies are scary. Make it happen, dad.

And he was like, chitching. A cat that just shows up wherever that cat needs to be, including on a bus that has that cat painted on side of said bus. Why? I feel like we often criticize movies by saying they seem like they're written by children. Legitibly is. It's on Wikipedia, it's the story was written by the director and then story by his daughter. That's amazing. So yeah, she was pretty on point with th of th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thiiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thate. that that that that that that that that thate. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theateate. thi. theate. thi. thi. that's that's that's that's that that that that's that thate. That's amazing. So yeah, she was pretty on point with these things. That explains the like, I'm running away

because you're getting remarried the storyline and that just being treated like, sure, that's what you would do. In the Amazon description of his movie, it says something like, to get away from her creepy new stepmother. I don't think that woman, she seemed fine. The only thing that I think might be creepy about her is I think she had toilet paper wrapped her on her neck and all times.

Yeah, well, yes, but she's a jewelry designer. Maybe it's art. Her father was in Italy making soundtracks for movies. Her father was in Italy making sound tracks for movies. Her dad's super skee too. Oh yeah well you'll notice that that's a theme with the two male characters in this movie. True. We talk about watermelon man? Oh no I forgot about him I was thinking about today. Every dude is like falls through breaks a promise a promise it's true and it's like that that is tha tha that thall's like that thall's like that th. that th. that th. th. th. th. that th. that is that is that that is that is like thrown. thricks thricks thricks thricks thricks thrown. thrown. thrown. the. that's a that's a that's a the. that's a that's a that's a th. that's a that's a th. that's a that's a th. that's a that's a th. th. th. th. th. th. that's a th. th. th. the the the that's a that's a that. that that that that that the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. that's a the. the. that's a that's a the. that's a that's a thue. It's terrible. And it's like that is written by an 11-year-old girl. It's true. Yeah, man, it makes a lot more sense now, honestly.

Like the melodrama of that last, like that last monologue about love being the ultimate promise or whatever. I was like, the fuck are you talking about? But then there's like, there's the juxtaposition, the ju ju ju juxtap-the, the juxtap-the, the juxtap-tha, the juxtap-tha, the juxtape, the juxtu-tha, the juxtu-tha, the juxta, th, ththa, th, th, th, th, th, thi, the me, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the me me-a, like, like, the the the the the the the the the the the director of the movie lived in Hiroshima when it was bombed and like all of his friends died so he was like oh I got to put stuff about World War II in here but it's also gorgeous is explaining world war two to her friends like they might not have heard of it it it's 1977 I love when she's like telling there's the flashback where she's explaining what she's explaining what she's explaining what she's they're just like oh she's like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like a a a a the the f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f i i i i i i i it. I they. I they. they. they. they. they. they. the. they. they. they. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. the. th. the. the. the. their. their. their. their., he's so serious. How are you? You know, I hate when people have flashbacks of things they didn't see in movies? They're like narrating a flashback.

They couldn't have seen. I know, I don't understand it. I think that's what makes it okay. I think that's what takes it to go with her dad and then found out there's a new stepmom was like uh-uh so she calls her aunt and it's like hey can I come to your house and I was like I've been waiting 10 years for this phone call. She doesn't call her though. Oh she writes her letter sorry and then her return letter is delivered by her own cat. Planch. The thing with the cat is that she the cat jumps into her bedroom window and she's and she's the the th and she's the the thing with the cat is that she the cat like jumps into her bedroom window and she's like oh aren't you pretty where'd you come from?

And the next scene she's like Blanche. How did you know the cat's name? Well they were watching Golden Girls. This cat needs a name girl. A long-haired white cat. It really is. I do have a soft spot for Blanche because that's very much where it's just like a fuzz ball that's just always confused and you can just throw them into people's laps and someone murderous. And Blanche does get thrown in this movie. There's like a scene where she really just gets

thrown into the hands lap. She's getting wheeled on the hall and all this on the cat's in her lap. So ridiculous. Also I would just want to point out that this makes Rob's black a th a black black black black black black black black black that th a it? Yeah. The cat's fucking in on it. Yeah. If only they had gotten an 11-year-old to help write Black Christmas. Yeah. That Felatio joke probably wouldn't have made it. Well, they did have the Stinky Panny joke. Oh yeah!

Stinky Panny joke! Which I had seen this movie a couple years ago and I think I must have watched a different translation because the stinky panty joke was not in the version I watch. It's so good. She lingers on it way too long. What's going on? What are you doing there? What's happening here? There's a lot of like weird. Yeah.

I felt like sniffing panties in all blood. Oh yeah. Well actually I read that, you know, originally gorgeous has the nude scene and she was so self-conscious doing it that the actress who played proff also got nude so she'd feel more comfortable on set and the director saw it and was like, you're gonna have a nude scene. Oh God. So that was his teenage body is also an exceptional teeny of law. The worst Oprah ever. You get a nude scene. You get a nude scene. Oh, man.

Wait, one more thing I want to say about Mr. Togo, and this is a note that I just found, they were, and this might just be a bad translation, but they said they were supposed to go to his sister's house to go to training camp? What were they training for? That's also when Gorgeous was thinking about her father, and she's like, I did cry when I won the big meat. The sports meet, I wrote that the sports meat. First of all, Gorgeous is not going to beat Kung Fu at anything. No.

And the sports meat sounds like something you would just had no idea what a sports was. For sure. Well, that, that, that, that's that's that's that's that's that's th th th the th th the th th th their th th th th their th. th. their their th. thus, their thus, their thus, thi, their, thus, tho- th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was thi is thi, I was thi, I was thi, I was thi, I was thi, I was thi, thi is thi is to tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I was th sure. Well, you wanted to translate universally. I guess that's a thing about, I find particularly Japanese movies, is that it's hard to tell if it's just like a weird translation or if people are meant to be like stupid. Do you know what I mean? Like dopey? Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Where the language is actually breaking down or they're, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I's, I thi, thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I th, I th, I th, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, I thi, yeah, for sure. There's a movie called Uzamaki. And the translation I saw with it first,

somebody was talking about somebody being a pervert, and the woman just goes, no, X rate contact. X rate contact. It was just like, I mean, I get what you're saying there, but that's a really weird way and just like direct like babel fish translation of what happened. X-rayed contact. So the aunt says she can come. Which is a good thing because she's already invited six of her gal pals. And Mr. Togo. I love every time gorgeous like comes into a room,

everything slows down and the music gets a, like, oh, no, go. And all the girls are just like, gorgeous. She's gorgeous. And she's constantly putting on powder too. Oh yeah. How hard, you try so hard, gorgeous. Yeah, Kung Fu doesn't have to try that hard. I know, actually she's not even the most gorgeous out of them.

She just wears the most the hair flowing in the wind. And a toilet paper scarf blowing by her. So they get on the bus that has the cat on it and the cat's with them. Cats going with them, Blanche's traveling. Have you ever taken a cat on vacation with you? No. No. You've traveled with a cat. I've been in a hotel room with my cat, which is the weirdest thua thua thua w weirdest the bed watching the cable and all of a sudden your cat just walks by and you're like, I'm going to look into Ann in South Carolina. And the cat did not like it. No, no, I'm sure. She was growling and everybody who walked past the door. Yeah. Blanching it up. Please make that a verb. It is I think it's just about vegetables. It's not good. It's not good. It's not good. I wish I hadn't said. that. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the th. I th. I th. In th. I thin. In thin. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. In thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. And the the th. And is, I think it's just about vegetables. It's not good.

It's not good. I wish I hadn't said that. It's not funny. Stop laughing. Stop! Oh, everybody gets one. So they, before they get to auntie's house, they have to walk from the bus, approximately like 10 miles,

and there's like, you think they're in a town but it's just a backdrop and then it's pans out to show that it's just a backdrop I guess why it's just these there's a lot of weird little details like that like even when they're outside the school talking there are just a bunch of girls behind them with tennis rackets dancing like doing like a weird choreographed dance racquet. They don't address them, they don't, it's like, no. This is what they do. Why would you? They're the tennis racket dancers. Everyone's got them at their schools, right? I feel like that's like, it's a really intentional thing, I think because like, it's like, like moving forward, like in the scene whenever they're in the auntie's bedroom slash music room? I called him Randy in my notes. Randy? Because it was just like a minor character, just dancing, enjoying any action that was going

on in the scene. He doesn't, he's not malevolent. He doesn't attack anybody. No, it's like, I put him on level with the watermelon guy as a character. He seemed a little skeazy. The watermelon guy. He got very happy when the girls, so as they're going to Auntie's house, they stop at a watermelon stand and they can't see anybody working there.

And they pick up a watermelon, I think Mac does, of course. Sure, she's the hungry one. And there's a man who's shaped like a watermelon. Like a watermelon. Behind it, like, that's a thrown. head the size of watermelon and just gone like a frog. It's like what's going on? Yeah. And then there's a laughing watermelon wearing a hat behind him. This sounds like we're making this up or not. Were you? We're not. I'm like an 11 year old dude. No, it's true. Dad put in a laughing watermelon right there. Let me throw the watermelon down a well,

which I wondered if that was a metaphor for something, but I think not. What would it be a metaphor? I don't know, Alan. Reverse childbirth, I don't know. I don't know. They do, because it's an old way of, because a refrigerator doesn't, because it doesn't work. Right. Which is, Auntie is very adamant they don't open a refrigerator that's been on vlog for a while and it is not pleasant, so I understand why she would do it. That is a horror story in itself.

But of course later she walks into the refrigerator. She kind of backs in, whoop! Yeah, and then she, it's like the intro to her amazing music video. Yeah, she gets very bram stokers, stokers Dracula and just starts defying gravity in gifying gravitying the ceiling and then like turning to the camera and be like oh what's up? Yeah she always turns to the camera and does that smile and every time I just think she looks so much like Maya Rudolph that I keep picturing her just saying like babies. Wow that's on point. I didn't think about that but you're right. It's very true. When we meet her wee her wee her wee her wee her wee her wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to which she to to to which she's to which she's to which she's to which she's to which she's to which she's told she's told she's to to to to which she's to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to which she's to which she's to which she's too. the the tom. the tom. tomorrow tomorrow to which she's too. to which she's toe. toe. She's to didn't think about that, but you're right. No, it's very true.

When we meet her, she's in a wheelchair. And to which one of the girls callously asks her, what happened to your legs? But the answer is nothing, because she just has to eat them? Is that she eats them to get better? Yeah, so it seems like it revitalizes her. That's cool. So Mack goes to recover the watermelon after they've had dinner so that they can have a dessert of watermelon, delicious, delicious watermelon. And she doesn't come back. And so then sweet, I think? No fantasy goes to look for her and starts pulling the watermelon up out of those. She's like, oh, Mac didn't pull up the watermelon. Blah blah blah blah. And she pulls it up in its max head. And it flies around and it goes fantasy or however it says it in Japanese it flies around and bites her in the butt

why is the biter butt? Yeah it's because an 11 year old was it? I had a bite her butt. Then they did had a bit her butt and that was it just no lasting damage just psychological to me just a sanity check. Actually I had to say that I was thinking about that was it. Just no lasting damage, just psychological damage. Just a sanity check. Actually, I was thinking about that scene earlier today when my toddler's son ran up behind me and bit my butt today. Did you ask him why? Now I know how it feels in a single tear and went down my cheek. Oh, we skipped over to go into the house initially, and the chandelier attacks them.

And so Kung Fu jumps up in the air and kicks all the shards away from the shape. Kung Fu's the best. And one kills a lizard. Oh yeah. And then the cat eats it. And then the scene ends. Oh, listen to the joy this film has brought us. Oh my God.

I feel like we're not even describing a movie. Like, this, yeah. We're like, dude, remember that time we took a bunch of acid? Yeah. And then all those trees turn into bears? It was awesome. I can't remember who Auntie is talking to you while they're eating, or no, they're eating the watermelon, and Auntie's talking to somebody or staring at them, and she starts winking and then opening her mouth, and then her eyeballs in her mouth.

Yeah, it's fantasy, because she knows, she saw the head. No one believes her that she saw the head. Because when they go out to pull up the watermelon, it's actually the implication was that it was Mac's eye. That she'd eaten Mac. Yeah, while they were eating water, Ellen. I did not get that. I've seen this multiple times and it's like, she's just three eyes. And maybe, I mean, it makes just as much sense. Yeah, we're saying this like, like it's something we reasoned out. There's no reasoning. I'm trying to find the rational explanation for all thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thi thi thi the rational explanation thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the rational explanation thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. thi. I'm thi. I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I thi, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I the. I the. I the. I was they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they try to shoehorn in a rational explanation there at the end which we can get we can talk about but. So Max's death is the

first of all the murders. And then what Kung Fu loses her pants while fighting firewood. Yeah what she's wearing like a skirt I think and chopping firewood and then she jumps and when she lands she has just under pants which she the rest of the evening. I thought it was like a like we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we can like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like a the the the their we can. We can. We can. We can. We can. We can we can. We can't we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we we can. we can. we can. we can. we can. we can. we can. we can. we can. we can. the like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like a. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. We're like. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the and when she lands she has just underpants which she wears for the rest of them. I thought it was like a bikini bottom maybe. I don't know. Because I think she was like bloomers. She like took it off her skirt to chop or to find out. No, she jumped up in the air and she had on some of her. She's just. She had it when she landed gone gone. A lot. th. When. When. When. their. their. their. th. th. Yeah. th. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. She's. She's. She th. She was. She was. She was. She their. She th. She was. She was. She was. She was. She was. She was. She was. She was. She was. She was. She was. She was. She was. She was. She was. She was. She was. She was. She was. She was. She was. She was. She was. She was. She was. She was. She was. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She th. She th. She th. She th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. I th. I th. I th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I that happens to Mac to when Mac goes to get the water moan she's just wearing panties in a tank top yeah later when proff falls in the blood her some her clothes just disappear I don't know if 11 year olds know how clothes work dad's do dad that's weird take that part out yeah that's good it's good I've our stays

and you get a nude scene and you get a nude team. So that's when the sort of simultaneous murders start happening, right? Where sweets being attacked and Melody. Yes. Oh, no, maybe. No, he's playing the piano at the same time, yeah. But then you think there's like the red herring where you think she's being attacked the type type type type the type type type the type type type type type the kind type the sort the kind type the sort type the sort type ty the sort the sort ty the sort ty the sort ty the sort, but the sort good. That was really excellent. Yeah, I like that. Less than 11 year old. That's so good. No, no, she's not going to die. She needs a wiper butt. She made a poopie. They say poop in Japanese. I don't know.

So yes, sweet gets attacked by the mattresses, which is kind of a scary scene, like, yeah. It's really horrific in, if you're a claustrophobic person. Yeah. th, I I I I I I I I I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thathea, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. No, th. No, th. No, th. No, th. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, thi. It's thi. It's. It's. It's th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's not. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. like, yeah. It's really horrific in, if you're a claustrophobic person. Yeah, yeah. It's definitely, it's touching that same vein of horror of like crawling into a sleeping bag backwards, where you have that moment where you're like, uh, I can't get out of it. Why would you ever do that? Because you're like a kid.

What else you're going to do? Yeah, that's horrible. Yeah. Yeah. I grew up with two brothers. We did a lot of really stupid things. Yeah, so we get attacked by the mattresses and they never find her body. They just find her clothes because they've fallen off of her. They're like, here's her bra. And that's when they do the stinky panties. Here's her panties. Stinky panties. Was it sweet that told gorgeous that she was a stylish princess?

We were stylish princess. That was a good translation I felt. Because she needed more water to wash her hair. Oh, and when she's washing her hair and then the totally nightmarish Japanese hair comes out of the water. I thought that that was one of the best effects. It was like very cool and unexpected. Yeah, I liked a lot of the're weird terror of wet hair. Like I totally identify with it every time it happened like, oh that is

gross but I never think about it when I'm not watching one of these movies. I'm never like in the shower like, oh but what if? What if? What if wet hair? That is some disgusting ass wet hair. Picking it out of your drain? So Gorgeous takes her bath and then she's cleaning, or cleaning, she's combing her hair and staring in the mirrors in her aunt's bedroom and the mirror cracks and it's her aunt's reflection and it starts bleeding and then Gorgeous is set on fire. Yeah, she's becoming possessed. I think that's what's implying. Because I think that when she's going to the drawers, she's looking at like, it's like ornamental combs and stuff.

I think it's supposed to be like the wedding jewelry that she would have worn at her wedding. Okay. And then she sees it, she gets possessed, she puts on the lipstick, which I like, bonkers from there. Yeah. Because the previous half of the movie had total sense. Oh yeah it was like citizen game. Yeah and they find Max hand or a hand in a jar with Max ribbon in there and they start to bug out. Which we've seen the aunt eating earlier just kind of chowling down on like it was a ham sandwich. And that's when melody gets chopped up at the piano. First it turns into the keyboard from Big like the, like where it lights up and I was like, yeah, so lovely. But, and she's playing the song that has been playing in the score the whole time.

Just like the toy. She like walks away from the piano and starts playing it again. I see it. And I. And th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. to. to. to. theeea. It's to. toeea. toea. It's toea. toea. thea. tea. thea. thethe piano, comes back and starts playing it again. I see it. I hear it. It's good. It's almost puff the match of dragon. It's like two notes off. Good call. I can't think I can't hear it now. It's like hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. And then like two notes that are different. Okay. I'm like, what? Yeah. What? What? the song? I can't think of the song. the song. the song. the song. the song. the song. the song. the song. the song. the song. the song. the song. the song. the song. the song. the song. the song. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. to. th. I. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. year old. I can't think of the song because I've had the Kung Fu's theme stuck in my head. Yeah. Dood-doo! Doodoo. Do it. I'm sure they heard the wind of the chop. It should be noted that Carrie's doing Kung Fu hands while she was saying.

I'm sure they heard the wind of the chopp. Yeah. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. th. She's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's th. She's th. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's the. She's theeeeeeeeeeean. too too too too too the-I the-I. the-I. the-I. the wind of the chop. Yeah. Whomph! There's so good. She jumps so high. Oh God, put your pants back off. Also, speaking of music, so there's like the weird like hippie rock songs that are out throughout the movie. When they're getting on the train, there's like a bunch of hippie dudes and like one like white ass dude. That's the band who wrote those songs. Oh really? And they're just like, they're like shaking the girls hands as they get off the bar. Yeah, they're like good gaming them is they go like on to the game. It's like good seeming like stupid. Good luck in finals.

Good luck in finals. At your sports meat. So weird. So the piano chops up Melody and when they see her, her body parts are dancing around the piano with like blue lines drawn around them? Yeah. It's pretty gross. She doesn't look unhappy though. She's just like, look at that. I like the part where she's like, that's naughty. What is chewing on her? Yeah. First of her, she has her... She has her... Okay, Melody, A plus attitude.

Oh yeah. It's a whole movie. Yeah. She takes her fingers off and she goes, my fingers are gone. And then she goes back to play with her stumps and it takes her hand. She's like, ah! Like, not even... Unphased.

Unflapped. Unphased, unflapped. With the stumps, still better than Peter from Black Christmas. Oh my god, yeah. This is where I have the note, well, I guess somebody says only a witch cat can close doors. Yeah. That doesn't make any fucking sense either. It's like a smart cat can open a door, but only a witch cat can close a door. Which is untrue because Glenn's favorite thing to do is go into my room, shut the door behind him, and then go, eww, at the closed door, like how did this become? Yes, Alan. You know Glenn's a witch, right?

Glenn is of subnormal intelligence. Oh, I think he's a wizard. I think he's cats and spells all over the place. What else do you think he's doing? the tasks, their, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, their, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, their, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. the. the. Oh, is he doing a boot scoot? Where he just puts his butt down to go, scoot, scoot, scoot? And then closing the door behind him. Like one dog does that and she just like scoots and stares at you as she's driving her ass down the, I'm like, hey. You're gonna wipe this up?

Get the spray. That's the worst when you catch your cat on their the the the whole time and you're like, thanks dude. I think they think it's okay because they come in the bathroom with you and look at you while you do it, you know? Oh, we're just trading this now. I haven't pooped alone in like 14 years. I've been pooped. Oh, God, it's so true. You know what, but I would take a cat over a two and a half year, which is, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, th. and, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, oh, who currently watches me pooping every single time I poop. Is he narrated or commentate?

No, mama's pooping? Well, you are. It's not like. There's nothing I can do about it because if I let you out of this room, you're going to fall down the steps. Yeah. I just took an unexpected and no recollection of why I wrote that. Noodle bear? Noodle bear. So that turns into a bear. But I forget what turns into a bear.

I think it's when they're eating noodles, right? Isn't there a bear eating noodles or something? Oh, they're right. Mr. Togo is stuck in tra car off the road but like you're in bumper to bumper traffic what fucking difference is it made to you like and he's so apologetic about it. He's like oh yeah like I shouldn't have this car here. It's like just a car. He's probably thinking I should not be going to hang out with these children and I'm going to hang out. He he. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He he he. He was like. He was like. He was like. He was like. He was like. He was like. He was like. He was like. He was like. He was like. He was like. He was like. He was like. He was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. He's th. And th. And th. And he's he's he's he's he's he's he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's he's he's he's he's to to to to to to th. And thi in and that guy's gonna sit me down. It's gonna be Chris Hanson sitting there. Seriously. Like do you think Mr. Togo and Fantasy were really together? Do you think we were having a thing? I think it was just a fantasy. But he was going there.

Yeah but because he's like they're their soup they're chaperone you know what I mean. It was the 70s. Yeah it was like what is it? Christine? Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. It. It. It. It was it. Christine. Christine. Christine. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. Christine. Christine. It. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. It. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. Christine. It. It. Christine. It. It. It. It. Christine. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It. It's. It. It's. It. It's. It. It. It's. It girl get out of my mind by Gary Pocket. She's 17 if you know what I mean. Yeah, lots of gross dudes. Yeah, the 70s was all about that. Well who knows? Well Mr. Togo does. Yeah, sure. Only Mr. Togo but we'll never know because Mr. Togo is now a pile of bananas. I don't understand like a fitting end to of bananas. I don't understand. I don't understand. Like a fitting end to just a... I don't like watermelon, I like bananas. Camera goes away, camera comes back,

he's a pile of fucking bananas. But he's going, banana, banana, banana, banana. Did you see that? Yeah. It just kept, what? What? What? I just don't understand Mr. Togo at all. Honestly, watching that scene, when I was visiting my mom and my stepdad and I ended up just watching the aviator because it was on TV with my stepdad and you know, the, you know,

Howard Hughes just going, oh, got me, the airplane, the airplane, you know, he was going into these fits and I was like, oh, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th.. I was going, th. I was going, th. I was going, th. I was going, th. I was going, th. I was going, th. I was going, th. I was going, th. I was going, I was going, I was going, I was going, I was going, I was going, I was going, I was going, I was going, I was going, I was going, I was going, I was going, I was going, I was going, I was going, I was going, I was going, I was going, I was going, I was going, I was going, oh, oh, I was going, I was going, I was going, oh, oh, I was going, oh, I was going, oh, oh, oh, I was going, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I was, oh, I was, oh, oh, oh, oh, I was, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I was, oh, oh, oh, oh, I'm, oh, oh, oh, I was, I was.. And, oh, oh, I was. And, I was. And oh, that must be what's happening to Mr. Chococco. He's having a Howard Hughes like fit. And then he turns to bananas much like the way Howard Hughes died. Yeah, yeah, it's um... Wait, I think Howard Hughes died turning into bananas? He turned into an airplane, right? He turned into the spruce goose, the thuce. He took it into the the th flew it in the th flew it in the th. He th th th th th th thuse th thuse th thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thuas thu thu thu thu thu thues died, thues died, thues died, thues died, thu thu thu thu's died thu's died thu's died thu's died thu's died thuas thuas th th th th th th thuas thuas thuas thuas thuas thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thua thua thua thua thu And now he's on the loose-loose. Spruce goose and the loose-loose. And that's why we put him on the penny. And that's what I learned the true meaning of Christmas. And what we just did there makes as much sense as a fucking movie. We just wrote a movie. It's actually a pretty good plot. So Kung Fu gets choked by the phone, then beats the shit out of the phone,

gets electrocuted by a lamp, and then fights it. Their head goes into the lamp and it drags her legs in the air. And then my legs are just kicking out of the bottom of it, and it looks like one of those like, um, TGI Fridays or something. Yeah, it looked great. Yeah, it looked great. I was like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like looked great. Yeah, it was awesome. Like she was like she'd be dangling above like a pool table. And then she figures out to defeat the house she has to kick a painting? Yeah, they're like attack the cat and she attacks the picture of the cat but I guess that works. It's bleeding. It's projectile

vomiting, yeah. It's projectile vomiting, blood. And it's I love that cat's mouth getting bigger and bigger. It looks like- Grin, yeah. It looks like one of those, you know, at the carnival where you like, like flip the geek or whatever, where you knock over the little cats. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. That fucking cat. Blanche. So her attacking the cat, basically the wall goes away or something around the cat. this is where things started tha the the tha the the the the the the wa is the cat. This is where things started to get fuzzy for me and I regretted buying it in SD, or renting it Nesty.

Oh, it legitimately got fuzzy. No, I'm saying it didn't legitimately get fuzzy on? Well, a lot was happening and it was all dark and very red. And so it's just got out of doubt. So there comes down a confrontation between Proff and gorgeous or newly possessed gorgeous and that's when the house is flooded with blood after. Oh and also proff is like like super fast trying to like read the aunt's diary that she finds to find the secret. It's entitled the lonely times or the lonely days. That's the name

my high school diary. I got by you guys. It's true. I'm pretty sure in my aforementioned poetry career I had one called the Lonely Days. This is where we learned that I mean I guess we'd been told already that her fiancee, the aunt's fiance had died and the war never returned even though he had fucking pinky promised he would. They legit pinky promise, which is like also very 11 year old. It's true. And because it was a pinky promise, it can't be broken. So the aunt, all she ever wanted to do was be married.

So the aunt, all she ever wanted to do was be married. This is where I'm like, what are you talking about? Again, I think it's 11-year-old logic. All she ever wanted to do was to be married, so she died and killed everybody who comes into the house. All unmarried girls come into the house, yeah. And appears to like eat them for her energy. But she's also a cat. But I like how it also says that she's dead, but it's just her body, like eating these girls, which I like as a concept. It's not your soul, just a mechanical.

I have the note mommy hugs? Anybody? Anybody? Anybody know why I have the nommy hugs? Probably because Gorgeous is giving fantasy a definite mommy hug at the end. And her boob is out. Yeah. Oh, that's right. Fantasy just goes, I went to sleep, mommy. But that's after a prof is pulled under the water the water the water the water the water the water the water the water the water the water the water the water the water the water is pulled under the water by a submarine, a jar. I'm unsure.

Oh yeah, it's like a jar with like almost like a muppet face on it. And it's wearing her glasses. Yeah, she drops into the blood. It's very, it's very funny. Yeah. I like it. It doesn't make it, like opens his mouth and grabs her hand and, wah! It doesn't make any sense. And then she just kind of dismembers and floats away. Yeah. Like you do. Yeah. It's great. I love that that turn where all of a sudden there's so much blood.

Yeah. Everywhere they're just swimming in blood. It's like the end of dead alive or something. It's really unexpected. It's a licks. It's a like. It's a li. It's a li. It's a li. It's a li. It's a li. It's a li. It's a li. It's a li. It's a li. It's a le. It's really. It's really. It's a le. It's a le. It's a le. th. It's really unexpected. It's a le. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. that. that. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like th. Like th. Like th. Like th. Like th. Like th. Like th. Like th. It's like th. It's like th. It's like th. It's like th. It's like th. It's like the the. It's like the. It's like the th. It's like you th. It's like th. It's like you th. It's like you th. Like th. Like th. Like th. in the house. The house is flooded. They're like on a piece of wood. All the nets, yeah, it's separating. Yeah. And the mom, the new stepmom has gone after gorgeous. She has the great line earlier where she says, she's going to bring her back and her wonderful mysterious smile. She's an artist. So she shows up and her toilet paper scarf is blowing behind her the entire time she's driving.

I think that's when we see Mr. Togo's bananas. She shows up at the watermelon stand. Oh yeah, and she like drives by and we see the banana, and she never stopped and. To see why Mr. Togo was bananas. Why bananas indeed. So are the, do you think the watermelons or other people? Well, the, um, the watermelon guy like turns into like kind of a skeleton. He, for no reason.

He turns into an animated skeleton and then it falls to the ground and then there's just like a real skull in the scene? Yeah, I don't. Okay. I like it because I feel like it's, um, it's implying that like the watermelon man is like also a servant of the house. Oh sure. Yeah. It's the same way like the cat has become a servant of the house. Yeah. Because when he has not been to the house, but when Mr. Togo gets there, he's like, oh the girls have been eaten. Yeah. Like, oh, oh, thi. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, the thi. Oh, the the the the the the the th. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, thi. the the th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. thro thro thoo tho tho tho thoo thooo tho thooo tho thoooo th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, man. You may now return to sweating profusely. So New Mom goes to meet Gorgeous, or Gorgeous comes to meet New Mom.

And then explain what happens? They have a nice little conversation kind of sitting, and Gorgeous shows up in like a very traditional kimono and is looking very, like, put together and is very totally calm. And, um, they sit and think, and they just to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, to. Oh, to to to to to to to to to to th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. th. th. th. th. thin, th. thi. thin, th. thi. th. th. th. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, thi. and is looking very like put together and it's very totally calm and They sit and they just think of talk about what a nice experience they're gonna have together and The stepmom asks you know are your are your friends here? Are they still sleeping? She's like oh, they are still sleeping? they will wake up their they're still sleeping? She's like? Oh, they're they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they they are they are they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th? thi thi thi thi thi thi thi they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they will wake up when they are hungry. Yeah, and then new mom catches on fire? Oh yeah and then she catches on fire. They shake hands which earlier when she had they first met she said gorgeous let's shake hands. Which I liked a lot. So they shake hands and then she catches on fire and just burns away. Mm-hmm. Okay. Fine. And then that's, that's, the end-credit. Ten, the end credits. And, they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they shake hands. They're they shake hands. They're they shake hands. They're they shake hands. They're they shake hands. They're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their their their their their their their their their their th. their their their their their they're they're they're that's, the end credits.

The end credits is like literally like a senior portrait photography session of this woman like in the park, she's wearing different outfits. What is happening? I don't know. I assumed that there was like the test photos when they were like hiring them. Oh, okay.they were all commercial, commercial actresses. Yeah. Oh, okay.

Yeah. Okay. And that is House, aka Houseu. I know that they originally named it House because it was a reverent to give it an English name. And also in the beginning they go, House. Also, voiced by watermelon. And I love also, right after they flash house, they have a title card that just says, a movie.

I was like, all right. This is buckle in. I think they had to do that just to be like, it's definitely a movie. Just note that this is a movie. We are legally required to inform you that this is a movie. My final note is, I'm sorry, Katie.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, thathea, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi, that, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the they, they, they, they. they. they, they, they. they. they, the the, the, the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. toe. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to inform you that this is a movie. My final note is, I'm sorry Katie. I know I did actually know what I was getting myself into with this one. It's certainly delightful. Yeah. It's that's the thing I find so funny about this movie is that like it's such a terrible movie and it's

so watchable. It's so good but it it's so bad. Yeah, it really does. And it's not even like so, the goodness isn't even the fact that it's bad. It's like it's almost good just like as an, you could just read it as like an art film. It's like so weird looking and it's like, and there's all this weird animation yeah, like I like when things start start startthe, the, I mean, supposedly they purposely

made it so that the, everything, the special effects would be unrealistic in like a childlike way, you know, but who knows if they were just trying to cover up for the effects looking terrible. I did like the scene after Melanie gets pulled into the piano, then just her dismembered fingers are playing the song, which I just want to make sure I mentioned, yeah. And then the last note wrong. Yeah, I love that. I can't find this right now, but I saw a review that said basically like this does not work as a story, but it totally works as a movie, like it's a house where this woman lives who's bitter about her fiance in the war and the violence and the bombing and

so she eats virgins basically right and they get eaten by her household stuff which okay it's like domesticity yeah yeah so I think that works but then it's just the way that it's like like when she goes backwards through the refrigerator and then appears on the window sill and looks right at the camera, like, hi. What are you doing? I don't know.

Just making sure we were paying attention. Are you guys ready to move on to the ratings phase? I think so. Is that my only other note I had, I that, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,think so. Is there anything else you have that you want to? I think that my only other note I had that I didn't get to was that they caught the you know Max always eating and they're always talking about how fat she is but when she's in her underparen she's like no bigger than a size eight and she is like beautiful. She's like a little chubby face but it's like a chubby it's like a chubby. It's it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like a th I it's like a thu-a thu-a thu-a thu-a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thu-a thu-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-I th-a-in-I th-I th-s like th-I th-s like like th-s like th-s like like like tha-s like like like like th-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-I's like th-I's like love eating and when she gets scared she wants to eat. When she startled. When she startled and... I love to when she's gone and they're like oh there was a potato field I bet she's eating some potatoes. She loves baked potatoes. Just like digging raw potatoes out of the ground and cramming them into her

teeth. I feel like every... the fifth movie I watch be written by an 11 year old. I think th I th I th I th I th I th I th I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I to just just just just just just just just just to just to just to just to just to just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. I their their. I th. I'm like like like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm. I'm like. I'm. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just.. Every fifth movie I watch should be written by an 11-year-old. I think my life would be a lot more enjoyable. I mean, I have to say, I wish I had read or known that it was written by an 11-year-old before seeing it again because it makes so much more sense. Oh yeah. I enjoyed it so much. I feel like I have a different feeling about it now than I did when I thought it was just a weird old man writing it. That was the key that unlocked this movie for you.

I think so. Because think about this movie being written by a middle-aged man. You're just like, ugh. Yeah. You know? I mean, he gets his fingerprints all over it, so to the boobs. the boobs. But yeah, all right now who wants to go first in the ratings phase? I nominate Carrie. Very you brought it you rated. You did this. Obviously I

enjoy this movie a lot because I brought it to you guys and I enjoy watching it as a beautiful piece of art. I enjoy watching it as a really bizarre movie and I enjoy watching it as a quote-unquote movie. This is the second quote-unquote movie you brought us in the way. It's pretty much my wheelhouse but I would give it probably like eight and a half dismembered fingers on a piano. Yeah, ex-plunking out a tune. Plunking slowly out a tune with sourdance. Neri a hand turkey to be seen. Tis not the season right now.

Katie, what do you get? I mean, I agree with everything you said. It's a super fun movie, but it's like just barely a movie. It's like a movie, it's like a bunch of pieces that are stitched together with like yarn that's fraying at the edges. But I really like it for how absurd it is just to look at. And I do think people should see it. And I would watch it again.

So I'm going to give it a seven and a half. Yeah. Also like, what the fuck, though? Yeah. I was introduced to this movie. I was introduced to this movie because it so I just bought the DVD I was like enough people said you have to see it and they were right I did have to see this movie I would give it an eight for sure like it is a solid movie that I think you would be remiss not to watch

like you have nothing to lose now you only have to gain yeah you love a love of Kung Fu. Oh yeah. Dood-doodoo. And it's only... Her bangs are so good. Oh, they're so cute. Yeah. So cute. And you know, there's a reason why she's like one of the last ones to die. Yeah. Like she's got shit on lock. And she drives the plot. I mean she's one who attacks the cat. She basically gets things moving but I guess. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm so, I'm th. th. th. th. th. thi. Oh, thi. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, thi. Oh, their. Oh, their. Oh, their. Oh, their. Oh, their. Oh, their. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, the. Oh, the the th. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, th. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, the the th. theean. they. they. they. they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, but I guess not really, she doesn't really like... Because they're like, oh you did it, you killed it, you killed it, it's good, but it's not good. Nothing is good. So never mind. Are you glad that she didn't kill the actual cat?

That does her today. I feel like that cat can't die though, because the aunt in her diers like I'll be waiting here. Blanche is eternal. Also like Blanche time travels or at least space travels so I don't know. I love Blanche so much. I knew Claude was in on it. You've just gone full in on the Claude. I mean I'm in now. There's no other explanation. This proved it to me. Cryptocurium. Cryptocurium is good. Last week you heard us open the holiday edition of the Parcel of Terror, which was full of cool holiday shit, but it was still scary. It was so horror-based.

It was still amazing. I'm totally freaked out by Jacob Marley. Oh yeah. I mean, he's like a bad guy. But he's also a conscience. Yeah. I think th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi's because thi's because thi's because thi's because thi's because thi's because he's he's he's he's hea hea hea he's thi's thi's thozy's tho- tho-a' tho-a' tho-a' tho-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a th. th. th. he's also a conscience. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's because he's like tied his mouth jet and then it drops open.

He goes, mommah. Like in Muppa Christmas Carol? Yes. I love Muppa Christmas Carol. You know what's going to make your jaw drop? What? When you sign up for the parcel of terror. It's cry-y-t-o-c-ur-I-U-M dot com. 35 bucks a month. 35 bucks a month. This will get delivered to you and you'll get cool

shit. You get cool shit in the mail. Like what I don't know what else to tell you? It's beautiful. It's insane. We're make sure we put the pins, we gotta tuck them in before we swim though because I keep getting jabbed with them, you know, the back of the buttons. Gotta be more careful. Gotta be more careful. Because you'll get pins, you'll get magnets, you'll get plaques, you'll get stories, you'll get stickers, candy. Candy. I just looked to see what was in front of us here because we last week opened the Christmas parcel of terror and I was like, you get cough drops. Oh no, that's just yours. You get tablets and coffee mugs and a big guy with a gray beard. Oh shit, no. No, that would cost entirely too much for Jason to ship. You, $35 will not cover that. It will not. Especially if he shipped you to Abu Dabi,

Nububi like normal. Ah, fucking Nirmal. But you know what you won't shift is your subscription to parcel of terror, because it'll get shipped to you because that'd be weird if you just started shipping it out. Please don't ship anything to Jason. He doesn't want you to do. Doesn't want your stuff. He wants your stuff. And then you get his stuff. that's how commerce works. And that's a win. th. th. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. the. th. th. the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the. the the the the the the the. the the. the the. the. to to to to to to to the sports meet. Back to the show. So what do we do next week? We are going to return to the 2000s, the sad, sad times in the 2000s. It's been hurting us quite a bit lately. I was thinking that and I was thinking we should give the

two thousands a little bit of love and do a decent movie from the two thousands. Katie, what movie we're wea wea wea we movie we movie we movie th we movie th th is th is th is th is th. What movie th is th is th is th is th is th is th. What movie th is th. What movie th. What movie th. What movie th. thi. tho. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. to to theeeeeeeeeea. to. to. to to to theeeeea. to thee. the. the. th, what movie we're going to do? A decent, a d- I can't see, I can't. I'm so sorry. We're going to do the dissent. The Neil Marshall movie from 2005. It's on Amazon. You can watch it there. Yeah. You should have seen it by now anyway. I feel like, get yourself together. Have you seen it? No, get yourself together. Yeah, it's not. I'll, uh, I'll lend you the DVD. You'll like it.

It's pretty nuts. I think it would fit into your nuts wheelhouse. Yeah, it's a very late, it's a lady movie. All ladies, yeah. I'm into the lady movies. Yeah. It's a lady movie. Yeah, starring gorgeous and fantasy. So next week we're going to do the dissent, so you should come back and check that out. Yeah.

Episode 116. My God. I know. I know. I know. At what cost? What personal cost? I don't like 399 to rent a movie?

Yeah. Oh, get in an HD? It's $2.99. Oh, that's true. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's that's thiiiii. That's thiii. That's thii. That's thi. That's thi. That's thi. That's thi. That's thi. That's thi. That's the. the. the. true. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. the. Soe. Soe. Soe. Soe. Soe. Soe. That's th. So movie. Yeah, oh good in H.D. You get in H.D. It's 2. It's 2. That's true. Save yourself that doll. Big doll hair. Carrie. Yes. Thank you so much for bringing us this movie. Anything you'd like to plug? Um, no, just keep living life.

All right. Oh, man. Just keep on keeping on. You know, this movie for a while, so I was really excited when Katie said that this is what you wanted to do. Yeah, thank you, thank you for being here. Thanks for returning. Thanks for having me back and, you know, I got to say the word, I'll come back again. You're going for three feet. You're going for three feet. You're like like th th th tha to to to to to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say say say to say say say say say say to say to say say say to say to say say say say say say say say say say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say say say to say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. they. they. Say they. they. the the the to say the to say the to say to say to say to say and listen to Carrie's episode, which I think is episode five. Yeah, it's our first guest episode. And we were like, let's do the movie no one's ever, literally you can't ever find. And let's watch it in the worst possible format to watch a movie. I don't want to pay for it, which is daily motion. Every 30 seconds it played that ad, we were like, It was like a shaving cream.

It was a lot louder than the movie, too, and it would come in and startle us if I recall. That was ridiculous. Yeah, it's a good episode though. I think we just screamed through most of it. Yeah. But that was like, oh, we can totally do guest high on that one. Keep bumping it up. Yeah, bump that bar. Hear that?

Hear that? That carries your bar. So you could find us on Facebook and Instagram. And if you could leave us a review on iTunes, that would help a lot. So we're told. Some people have done it recently and it's very kind of them. Yeah, if nothing else, it's an ego boost for us. So like, thank you. Yeah, we need that, guys.

Yeah, I feel like shit. And thanks for listening to another episode of Wear-Waf Ambulance. Bye. Bye. Bye. you know.