Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 12- The Happening (2008)

Episode Date: January 12, 2015

So, did we hate the 2008 horror disaster "The Happening" as much as every other human being on the planet who endured it did? You'll have to download the episode to find out but, spoiler alert... the answer is "probably." Some points of discussion include: being 'The Ruiner', vacant stares, natural horror done right, 'How It's Made: Wind Edition', what science actually does and a lengthy thesis on the movie "My Girl."  As always, if you liked this episode, please tell a friend! And if you reaaaally liked it, please consider giving us a rating and/or review on iTunes. Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast. 

Good evening and welcome to another episode of Wearable Fambulance. I am Katie and I'm here with my friend Alan. Good evening, Katie. Hi, Alan. How are you? Good, that was probably the most entertaining thing that we're going to talk about today. No way, dude, I got plenty of shit to say about this movie. So this week we are talking about the happening, which is a 2008 M. Knight Chamelon. I would call it a disaster. Can we say disaster? Yeah. I think it's supposed to be a disaster movie that's just a fucking disaster. It really is. I'm Roger E. th- th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thee. the. th. thea. th. thea. thi. thi. thi. thi. So, thi. So, th. a fucking disaster. It really is. I'm Roger Ebert, goodnight. And steam. Oh we're not really done recording. Oh okay. I thought that was all we were going to say. I am. I should start with sort of a, what's the word? An apology for me. Can you watch this movie? Yes and no, because I it was so bad.

Okay so I watched this movie sitting on the floor of my hallway, I watched it on my laptop, holding a hair dryer into the access panel to my pipes to my bathtub because they had frozen here in the Pittsburgh Tundra. So I was already pissed off, like I was already ready to be so mad at this movie. So it was really just set up for me to be angry. And, you know, it really let me let me th me th me th let me th let me th let me the th let me the the the the that th let me the the the the the the the the the the the the theat theat theat theat theat theat theate. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thated thated thated thated thated thated thated thated thated thated thated thated thated thated that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the. theat thea. thea. toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. the. so mad at this movie. So it was really just set up for me to be angry. And you know, it really let me get a lot of that anger out. Oh, awesome. You had something to focus it on. Yeah, instead of frozen pipes.

So I actually, the very first line of the movie infuriated me enough to write it down, which is the women sitting on the park bench in Central Park when the first neurotoxin attack happens or whatever, and I just wrote, this movie opens on women who aren't very good at reading. Awesome. Well, the one woman is the star from Cabin of the Woods. She is, and she would have probably been a better actor than most of the people in this movie. So, let's just get the acting out of the way. Okay. I don't the the th don't th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thateate. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to toee. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. the the the the the the the. the people in this movie. So let's just get the acting out of the way. Okay. I don't think Mark Wahlberg is a good actor on his best days. Yeah, I said it happened. Okay. I know you're a fan. You know, he's got all those abs. But I can only assume it was the directing that made their acting so bad. Yeah, because it's it's mind numbing how bad they are. Zowieie th. Z Z Z Z Z Z Z. th I I I I I I I I th. th. th, I th, I th, I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. I don't th. I don't th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th made their acting so bad. Yeah, because it's mind-numbing how bad they are. Zoe De Chanel has been in a number of other things

and television and movies, and she seems to be a perfectly competent actress. John Liguesamo. Okay, okay. I refer to him as the ruiner because every movie he's in is terrible. So. Poor John Ligueso. It's just my personal opine. That's fine. But yeah, everyone in this movie is delivering their lines like they're in a community

theater performance. They're written and delivered that way, you know, so. Who hires Mark Wahlberg to be your science teacher? Also, I liked how he just kept being like, I'm a science teacher. And then John Ligozo comes in, he was like, th and he th and he thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to, to, thi, to, to, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to thi, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to to thi, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the thi. th th th thosamo comes in and he was like I'm the math teacher I was like can you guys find a more casual way of introducing your professions? So a quick summary of this film if you're this is your first time listening we do do spoilers so here we go this is a movie about trees getting pissed off in humanity and taking us out with a neurotoxin of some sort

inexplicably like at random intervals yeah Yeah. There's no rhyme or reason. The trees are coming for you. Apparently from what I read, M-Night Chamelon was trying to do a B-movie. What? His thing was like, oh, we're making a B-movie. It's not supposed to be good. B-Doo, b-doo, which I think is what you say after you make a shitty movie and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and th, and th, and then, then, then, then, then, then, th, th, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thr, the, the, theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, thee, the, the, the, the, the, the But B movies have monsters or villains or something or I don't. What? No, this is... Right.

What? They have Roger Corman telling you to make it an under a week. Yeah. Like, they have restrictions. This movie had no restrictions. It's budget, I'm sure it was astronomical. And it was actually commercially very successful, I think, but has I think 17% on rotten tomatoes? One for each for each of Mark Wahlberg's visible abs.

Maybe as a chubby fella, I just resent him for all of his visible and invisible abs. The second note that I have here, I actually took five pages of notes during this movie. Which is not what Katie does when we watch these things. Normally I just stare into the ether, but I have written here, the second thing I have written here is a quote from Mark Wahlberg that just says, come on, buddy, take an interest in science. She said to one of his students. And I literally almost threw my laptop. I just couldn't believe it. But it was delivered, like, come on, buddy, take an interest in science.

Yeah. Like everything was like a super weird inflection on it. Zoe Day Day Ch has cornered the market on looking vacant. So her character is set up by the math magician John Legosamo who is like, she's just not going to be there for you. She's just not going to be there for you, but. I saw her crying on her wedding day. It was almost like he was doing an impression of Mark Wahlberg while talking to talking to Mark Wahlberg. Do you think that's a like a the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. to Mark Wahlberg. Do you think that's a like a dominance thing? Like he was just trying to mark Mark Wahlberg that he could be? He had peed on Mark Walberg in a previous scene. But it was so when they go to Zoe Day-Chinnell,

she just, no, has those beautiful blue eyes open to maximum. And you first see her with a cell phone ringing, and her staring at a cell phone like she's never seen a thing before. Yeah, why is this making this vibrating thing? I don't get it. She also has the worst lines in the movie. The lines that are written for her were like, we're like, we ate tyramasue together. That is it. And we're so much the same, Jess, I don't like to show my emotions emotions emotions emotions emotions emotions emotions emotions emotions emotions emotions emotions emotions emotions emotions emotions emotions emotions emotions emotions emotions emotions emotions emotions emotions emotions emotions. to show to show to show to show. to show. to show. to show. to show. to show. to show. to show. to show, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, just, just, just, just, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I, I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. And, just, just, just, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the Jess. I don't like to show my emotions either. Like, why can't, you know that thing of showing, not telling?

Right. M-Night Shamalan is not doing that. Well, that kind of stuff makes me think that perhaps he was trying to make a B-movie and his idea of a B-movie. That's not fair. Right, exactly. That's my problem. people try to make B movies is that like usually, and not always the case, but usually when people are making a B movie, they're setting out to make a good movie. Yeah. And they just have like, they can't. Yeah. They have artistic restrictions or financial or whatever, but like this this just didn't, I don't know man.

But I mean, there was some cool stuff at the beginning. Yeah, I think there were some cool stuff throughout. I think every death scene was pretty decent. So the movie starts off with the two girls on the bench that don't know how to read. I forget where I am. And the one girl. I was infuriated. I didn't realize that that was like how it was going to go is that it made you disoriented, but I was like, are you seriously just opening this movie on women who don't know how to read a book?

Like, holding this hair dryer and just being so angry. I think you were already angry. Just so angry. Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you. So everyone around them stops. I'm sorry, I'm still kind of angry. It's turning me down. Just a scoge. So the one of the one woman who can't remember where she is in the book takes out a chopstick that's in her hair, this metal chopstick and there's a poorly filmed scene of her jabbing herself in the neck.

And I have a note that says, Pur know, they are trying to flee, everybody's trying to flee Philadelphia for whatever reason. I guess they think the toxin is coming to them and they're trying to get out of a major like population center. Right. Yeah, because at that point they think it's a terrorist attack. And they end up in this diner where a woman is showing them a video. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th is a woman is a woman is showing is showing is showing is showing is showing is showing is showing is showing is showing is showing a woman is a woman is a woman is showing is showing their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the. the. toooooox. tox. tox. tox. tox. tox. the. the. newscaster, you're a person in a diner. But it's a guy being mauled by lions and I loved that. I loved that. It eased some of my pain. I really like the, there's construction workers that are standing around telling street jokes. Yeah, street jokes. And then dude start just walking off of a roof roof at that. Yeah, because they come down at at at at at th at th at th at th. At th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. their th. th. their th. tho. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, tho. tho. tho. tho. toda. today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, their, their, their, but I was into that. Yeah. Because they come down at you at the viewer. I really like that perspective. I like anything that's an apocalyptic with no explanation.

Sure. Good thing you love this movie then, because there's really no explanation. Yeah. Yeah. And then we get introduced to Mark Walberg as the teacher and you just stop believing that anything is real in this movie. You're not wearing a sweater vest. Why are you wearing that sweater vest? He's really terrible. I'm sorry if you're listening to this, Mark Wahlberg, would you, well, we'll get to

it, what you had to say about the movie later? Yeah, throughout my notes I refer to him as Marcus Mark, that's why. Oh, man. So, yeah, so it just progresses with them getting further and further outside of the city. And I figured the thing about, I knew that the plants were attacking people. I knew that that was the premise of the film. Yeah, so did I. It's been long enough that that's just coming to the zeitgeist. And this movie is much maligned, so I've heard people shit talking it. And I thought I had seen it before, but I hadn't. I must have just seen of it. Like, I must have just thought that.

It's like the idea of seen of it. Yeah. I figured that would be the big third act reveal. That would be like the holy shit moment of the movie. Right. But instead it was like, oh man, it's true. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It. It's. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It was just like this accepted thing. And I kept waiting for the twist. Was the twist that there was trees? I don't know. I don't, I think this was his attempt to not, to not have a twist.

So he just like, I don't have a twist. It's like, I don't have a twist so. So, oh, here's everything. The twist was that you watch the whole damn thing. Yeah, and paid three bucks for it. Although if you do pay three bucks for it on Amazon, you get it for a full month. I have it until February 6th. God. Yeah. If anybody wants to watch, I'll give you my Amazon password. I have written down check off science project.

Mark Wahlberg lists like what you need to do to conduct a scientific experiment and then I'm like oh that's yeah that's definitely gonna come up yeah later and it does when does it he just says it Mark Wahlberg is running through a field try to figure out what's going on and stops and goes be scientific dushbag talking to himself Did he say that? How did he say that? How did I miss that? Be scientific douchebag? Do you think? Do you? Do you like? Do you like, like, like, like, like, like, that? And, that? And, that? And, that? And, that? And, that? And, and, and it? And, and it? And, and it? And, and it? And, and it? And, and it? And, and it, and it, and it, and it? And, and it? And, and it, and it, and it, and it? And, and it? And, and it, and it? And, and it? And, and it? And, and it? And, and it? And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, that? And, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's? Yeah, that's? Yeah, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, yeah, yeah, that's, yeah, that's, that's,. Did he say that? How did I miss that? Be scientific, dushbag. Do you think he like read that in the script and was like, oh? Well my note right after that is maybe this is a poorly executed comedy?

I was wondering if this was, I was going to actually introduce this episode as M. Night Shomalon's first attempt at comedy, and a wildly successful one at that. I also have written in my notes here, I am not a science teacher, but to the best of my knowledge, one cannot stay ahead of the wind. That's a thing that's suggested as an escape in this movie, staying ahead of the wind. How are the trees generating the wind? Trees don't don don't th. That's. That's don't don't th. That's don't th. That's don't th. That's the th. That's th. That's th. That's ight. M-Night, you got it wrong, buddy!

Oh, God. There would just be random people in the film that were only there to give exposition. Yes, yes, like the hot dog guy. Yeah, that felt like they were just like, oh, what's the community theater doing this weekend? We'll have come down and give exposition. I was stoked on, I lived in Philly for years, so I was really excited to see, you know, some of the Philadelphia landmarks. Yeah. That was pretty cool.

Well, not that you mentioned the geography, it actually made me really angry in this movie because it seems like really like carefully thought out, but it isn't. theybert PA, that is like where the train stops and lets them off and they go to the diner, is a real town. It's a real town. It's like about 40 minutes south of here, near Union Town. Oh really? Yeah. So like, M-H. M. Shomelan is from Philadelphia, isn't he? Yeah. So why did you just pick a to'n'n'e, and then what's his face, John Lai Wazamo is driving from there

to Princeton, New Jersey, and I was like, that's about a five and a half hour drive from Gilbert. It's just, why would you do that? Like, why would you not just get it right? I don't know. Why would that be where he started? to get to the bees. This is the first thing they introduce that all the bees have disappeared. Yes. They come up with the conclusion that like, it's just an act of nature. Science will come up with some reason, but it's not going to be a real explanation.

So, science is a re-make of my girl. So, now that you mention the bees thing, that brings me to my overarching theory of this movie. This movie is a remake of My Girl. It's got bees, a weird mood ring that is a plot driver, and you know, like learning to deal with death. It kind of makes sense. I wrote that down and I was like, nailed it! No McCulley caulkin. No, well, he wasn't doing too well in 08. Not his glasses, he can't see without his glasses. Don't make me cry. So that's my theory of this movie is it's not a

B movie, it's actually just a remake of My Girl. I like it. Cool. And there's like a hunky teacher in that movie too, hunky male teacher. Dan Ackroid? No, she like falls in love with the the their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. the. the. th. the. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. It's. th. th.. And there's like a hunky teacher, hunky male teacher. Dan Ackroyd? No, she like falls in love with her teacher. We don't really need to get into the plot of My Girl, but I'm just coming up with more. Well, I'd rather talk about it. Okay. It's actually a beautiful movie. I'm just, I'm just, I'm going to be like, oh shit, I forgot to mention the other ways that it's like, my girl. Make sure to read the notes of this episode

where Katie fully fleshes at her my girl theory. It's actually my thesis. So, okay, so Marcus Mark comes up with all these to him. At first he's like, oh it's the size of the group. We have to break into smaller groups. Right. But at one point they're like standing outside the train station. There's like 150 people there. Nothing. They're surrounded by trees. Well, the trees are evolving at the fastest rate anything's ever evolved. How wait? So they're evolving. They're not just like sending each other? They're not like. their. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So, the their. So, their. So, their. So, their. So, their. So, their. So, their. So, their. So, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. they're their. they're their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their.. I'm sorry. Well, thanks so much for listening. This will be our last episode before you know. You know I love a pun. They were just being portrayed as sentient beings.

Yeah. Do you want to know the budget of this movie? Tell me the budget. It's 48 million dollars. It's 48 million dollars. They spent it on wind machines! It grossed over a hundred and sixty three million dollars. That's a huge commercial success. I'm so mad that it got my three dollars. Oh yeah. If you guys are listening to this and you haven't watched it yet, hit stop,

hang up your iPod and and get on YouTube because it's free on there. Don't give M-Night Shamelon another penny of your money. Sweet baby, Jesus. Oh, man. Okay, so let's talk about M-Night Shamelon real quick. And I'm sorry that I was culturally insensitive in the last episode and fucked up his last name and punch. I don't think it was culturally insensitive. I think it was just intentionally mocking a single human. Yeah. Which which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which. Which, which. Which, which. th, which. th, which. th, which. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, so, so th, so th, so th, so th, so th, so thi, so thi, so thi, so th, so th, so th, so, so, yeah, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, yeah. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so th. So, so th. So, so th. So, so th. So, so th. th. Okay. th. thi. thi. th. Okay, th. Okay, th. Okay, th. th. Okay, to let's th. Okay, th. Okay, so, so, so, so, so, so We're fine with that. I don't know what your feelings are in MNight Chowlon, but I think the sixth sense and I think unbreakable were both good movies.

I enjoyed both those films. I like his Bruce Willis Uvra. Uh-huh. I like Bruce Willis, period. Yeah. After that, I don't like that, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th, and I their, and I the sixth, and I their, and I the, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the sixth. I the sixth. I the sixth. I the sixth. I the sixth. I the six, and, and, and, the six, the six, th...................... I th.. I th. I think, think, think, think, think, think, I think, I think, I think, think, think, think, think, think, think, think, think, think, that he needs no men in his life. He needs people that are just like, no, don't do that. Stop that. Stop doing that. And I think of him and Kevin Smith and a few other directors just need some of the say.

Someone to say no. Yeah. Yeah, I am. I'm actually not. I've seen the six cents. I don't think I've seen unbreakable. I think. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I. the. the. the. I. I. I. the. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thin. thin. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. theeeean. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. toean. toeanorable that I think I saw. Yeah. Also I thought I saw this movie so who knows. Yeah, I mean I like the Sixth Sense a lot as we discussed last week. It's a really pretty scary movie and this is

not scary. There's no stakes. No. I didn't feel any stakes whatsoever for this movie. Like I didn't care about their petty squabbling in their relationship. Like they had the chemistry their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. thi thi. thi. It thi. It thi. It thi. It's a thi. I thi. I didn't thi. It's a thi. It's a thi. It's a thi. It's a thi. It's a thi. It's thi. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I teateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateat. I thi. I thi. I thi. had the chemistry of, two things that have no chemistry. Mm-hmm. They would not make that volcano erupt. No, wow, no. Well, good science teacher joke. It's, yeah, it was like they just hired names, they didn't do casting.

Yeah, I feel like they had never met before they found this movie. They didn't even like rehearse it. I do think, like I mentioned earlier, that the death scenes are all pretty good. Like, um, when... The guy lays down in front of the lawnmower. I loved that! I loved that. I did. I loved it.

I loved it. I loved it. When John Lake was hanging from the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the death. the death. the death. the the death. the the the death. the the death. the death. the death. the death. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the death. the death. the death. the death. the death. the death. the death. the death. the death. the death. the death. the death. the death. the death. the the the the thea. thea. thea.ea.ea.ea.ea. the the the the the death scene scene scene.ea. the death scene scene. the the death scene. the the the the the the the the the guys were hanging from the trees. I thought that was nice and creepy. And then they just rammed that Jeep right into a tree. I loved that. I did. There was the death of the two teens that had latched on to Zoe and Mark Wahlberg. That I liked less. Them being killed was whatever. Like I didn't have any emotional attachment.

They were red shirts. Apparently neither did Mark Wahlberg and so he do Chanel. They're saying, oh, all right. Well, let's get, I don't know. I guess we should go on and see what's happening over. It was just, let's get this child off the swing hanging from the tree that's happening right now because also can we talk about that child who has literally no lines. Right. She has about four lines. her. You're supposed to feel like, oh, they've got to protect this child, which is what they keep saying over and over, but like, she's just a sock puppet. Like, she does not speak,

I don't care what happens. I don't want to say I don't care what happens to this child. I don't really care what happens to this child. They don't give me any reason to care. I that the thi. I thi th th th th th th th th that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that that that that that that that that that. that. that. that that. that that that. that the that the that the that that that that that the that that that that that that that that th on the screen. I totally blame M-Night on this one. I think the directing was just super bad. Masturbated out by M-N-Kham-Might Shamblin. Masturbated out by? Yeah, it's how you made this movie. He just jerked off all over a page and was like, ah, it's getting marquished, in person in this movie. No one had any dimensions, which is interesting because it really only follows three people, unless you count the Ruiner John Legosamo is one of those people, but he bites it pretty early. Yeah. I don't know. Luckily this movie isn't an hour and a half

long. I was very grateful that I was in and out in that hour and a half. God, what else could they have put in there? I don't know, more trees waving in the wind in the wind in the wind the wind the wind the wind, I w waving. More the wind, I, more. More, more, more, more, more, the wind, the wind, the wind, the wind, I was, the wind, I was, I was, I was, their, I was, I was, their, their, their, their, th, th. I was, I was, I was, I was, I'm, but, but, but, but, but, th. God, th. God, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their. I was, their. I was, th. I was. I was, th. I was, th. I was. I was, th. I'll. I'll. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm toge. I'm toge. I'm toge. I'm toge, toge, toge, toge, th. th. th. th. th. th.the wind? I just love that like, that the scenes of the bad guy were just straight up grass blowing in the wind. There's no, it was worse than the eye of Soron. Yeah, it was just a grass. This isn't building any tension. Granted, I kept getting up to see if my water was working, which might have any theed this movie's building? Nope. I sat and watched the whole damn thing. No tension. I think this idea, it felt very Twilight Zone. Sure. I think he sort of has two modes which are Hitchcock and Hitchcock and

he's Hitchcock and he thinks he's Rod Serling and he's neither of those two heroes. So I think this was more in the hitch or the twilight zone side. th. th. the. th. the. the- th. th. thea. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thr- thr- thr- throwne's throwne thi. It felt thr- th so it should have been 45 minutes long. But I think in the hands of another director and another writer, this concept of trees getting pissed off, like, you know, you've got environmental issues, you could really like, I kept thinking of movies that I could cite that did these sort of ideas better. Like nature comes to take good.

There's a movie called Let's Sleeping Corpses lie or emerge in the Manchester morgue that's a zombie movie from the 70s British Italian movie that's fantastic and gorgeous and the conceit is that there's this farming equipment that's trying to kill off all the bugs in an area with some sound waves or radiation or something I don't quite remember what and it triggers the the dead to come back to life. Oh shit! see I'm in I'm in let's th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th let's th th let's th th let's th let's th let's the the th th th. the th. th. the thi thi the thi the the thi thi thi the the theateate' the. the. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. thi's theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. thi's triggers the dead to come back to life. Oh shit! See, I'm in, I'm in, let's go, let's do this. So it's got, it does that nature striking back on some level, or like at least environmental issues it does.

Or there's a movie by Michael Hanneke called The Time of the Wolf, which is in a post-apocalyptic movie where they never tell you what happened. Yeah. It's just these people trying to survive after the shit hits the van. That's really good. Or even a killer tree movie. There's a Christmas short called Tree Venge, which is all about Christmas trees rising up and killing their oppressors. I'm pretty into that. So like you could take those three movies and mix them together, you know, like they take the plot elements from this and they do it really well. And that's not, I think it's just all up to the director on this one. Yeah, and I mean, it was, just the explanation of things was so poor. So, I mean, like, by the time they got to the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the third act. Right. I had written here, so are people just safe indoors?

Why has the CDC not caught on to this? So if you're inside, you're fine. Am I wrong in thinking that? No one dies inside? That's what it seemed like. Well, just go the fuck inside. the movie's over. Credetts told you.

Like, thrown. I can't stop thinking about the old lady's death now that you brought her up. Which was real, I loved it. That was the death that I was like, oh this is awesome because the old lady gets infected by the tree virus. By herself, not in a large group. Just spun, just her. Just saying. And the trees are making her open the windows in the house by smashing her face into them until they break open. Yeah. She goes thi th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the old the old tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old the old th is th is th is th is th is tho tho tho tho tho tho-up thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. th. them until they break open. Yeah. She goes through multiple windows. She does. And she was she had it come in to. I think M. Knight might hate old ladies. Why you eye in my lemon drink? What? Oh man. Yeah. That was actually the only scene, one of her scenes was the only one where I like was scared or jumped or had any tension, which was Mark Wahlberg is looking at the like creepy doll on the bed. He's being an asshole and walking around her house without her

permission? Yeah in her what seems to be her bedroom? Yeah and then he's like no listen to me and we will figure this out but she like appears behind him tha that's it that's it you got me once yeah I guess I mean I mean I mean I mean I mean I mean I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. th once. Yeah, I guess. I mean maybe, I don't know, man. This was a bad movie, Katie. Oh yeah. M-Night Chamelon purposely made a bad movie, which is why we purposely selected it. Well the B-in-B movie doesn't mean bad. Oh, oh, now. Marcus, Marcus, Mark, Marcus, Mark Knight-Chomelan. I really wish I had a middle name that worked well with my profession though. I wish I was like K-Money. K-Money! I've got a quote here from Mark Wahlberg about this movie.

Okay. It was from the Wikipedia page. And it's talking about Amy Adams was supposed to to to to to to to to to the, to to to the, to the, to to, the, the, th, to, th, the, the, th, the, I, th, I, the, the, th, the, the, the, the, the, I the, I the, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I.. I'm the, I'm the the the the the the the the the the th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. I'm really really th. I'm really th. I'm th. I'm Amy Adams was supposed to be cast in the Zui de Chanel role. Weird that would be extremely weird. She ended up not taking it. Good for her. So Walberg says that she dodged a bullet by not starring in the film. And then he said it was a really bad movie. Fuck it. It is what it is. Fucking trees man, the plant. Fuck it. You can't blame me for not when to try to be a science teacher at least I wasn't playing a cop or a crook oh that's true yeah I actually saw I know we've discussed fear on the show before you've never seen it but I actually saw when I was looking for the trailer to post on our Facebook I found this trailer interspersed with clips with Mark Mark Wahlberg and fear and it it it it it was it was it was it was it was it was th th th th th th th th was th was th was th was th was th was th was th was th was th th was th th was th th was th was th was th was th was th. I was th. th. th. I was th. thi. thi. I was thi. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was the. I was the. I was the. I was the. I was the. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I'm thi. I'm thi. thi. thi. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I'm the. it was actually pretty good. I was like, oh, that's a movie I would see. And then I was like, oh, it's just because I like fear.

Do you think this movie would have been better if it had been Donnie? The Superior Walburne? Yeah, and maybe if Spielberg had directed it or something. That's a movie I would probably watch. Yeah, it's just not well executed. I don't think there was anybody on set saying, we need to redo that. Like, there wasn't a Roger Corman coming in going, this is garbage. Yeah. I guess he would just put it on anyway.

And the Roger was a bad example. Do you think they did everything in like one take. It felt that way. Yeah, they were definitely definitely. They definitely. We're done. I've heard that when Frank Sinatra would do a movie, he wouldn't do two takes because he said you're not paying me for two movies. Oh my god, I love that. So maybe Walbur dropped that on her heads too? Yeah. Just their interpersonal dynamics, like she, Zoe DeChenelle had been like emotionally, though,

it seemed like maybe not physically cheating. But then he tells the story. I literally rewound it and put the closed captioning on to figure out what the fuck you were saying about the cough syrup? His joke story? I did not understand it at all. Was it a joke? Yeah. Yeah. And he says, yeah.

Yeah. But I just have written here. Marcus, Mark is talking to a house plant and then I have immediately afterwards, Marcus Mark is talking about cough syrup? I don't, I just did not understand anything, anything. And then they're gonna have, they like, this brings them closer together I guess. So they're gonna have a baby to replace this child that they're, you know, they're a real baby. lady's house, and then the murdering plants stop. Oh yeah.

Was it their love that stopped them? At first I was like, is that the twist? And then we cut to talking heads on the TV saying, this guy who starts losing his mind on TV saying like, that was just a first salvo, they're gonna come back. And then the film the film the film the film the film the film the film the film the film the film the film th. th. th. th. thto come back. And then the film cuts to Paris and two guys are walking around and then one guy, it starts, it's basically a repeat of the opening scene of the film. Yeah, and then the credits were all. Yeah. And then I kicked my laptop and broke it. I didn't, but I thought real hard about it. So that's the end of the movie. Real quick I do want to say that early early early early early early early early early early early early early early early early early early early early early early early early early early early early early early early early early early early early early early early early early early early early early early early that early that early th.

Do you want to say that early on in the movie, they have a newscaster talking about the thing that's going on in Philadelphia with the possible terrorist attack? And it's Yuki Washington. He was a football player and then he became a sportscaster. You're telling me about sports! But I loved Yuki Washington. But it was hilarious that he was delivering the news, because he's a sportscaster. So it was like, but I was just like, I have a note that just says Yuki Washington, exclamation point. I have a note that says CMU exclamation point, because the highlight of the movie for me was that they had like a, on one of the talking heads, it was like a fake scientist from the same you know, right, right, yeah, yeah, which is here. That's literally. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's a that's a that's, that's a the. I. I the that's, that's, that's, that's, that. I. I. I. I. I. I, I. I. I, I, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I. I. I, I. I, I. I, I, I. I, I, I. I. I. I, I the. I the. I the. I have, I have a. I have a the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th highlight of this film. So as you could see, there was not much going on this movie that if I'm grabbing Yuki Washington, you're grabbing C of you as the walkaways from this.

Carnegie Mellon University being mentioned, a school I did not even attend, but just no. Be scientific, dushback. Oh, God. I can't believe I miss that in. I am super, super disappointed. I'm just looking at my notes and a lot of them are just things that I cannot believe happened. Like, first of all, does M. Nye Shambhalon know how a gun works?

Because when the, at the very beginning, there's like a Philadelphia police officer who kills himself with his gun. Right. A little hand gun, and then when it cuts, the gun, the gun, the gun, the gun, the gun, the gun, the gun, the gun, the gun, the gun, the gun, the gun, the gun, the gun, the, the gun, the, the, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thoes, thinks, thinks, thinks, thiolk, thoomoombs, thoom, toe, toe, toe, toe, thoom, thoom, tho, tho, tho, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I's, I, I, I's, I's, thin, thin, and I'm, is, and I'm, is, and I'm, tops, is, and, is, together, is, is, together, is, is, together, together, is, together gun is like eight feet away from him. Right. It does not kick back it would not leave your hand and then the next person like a woman it's sort of shot from the ground and then you see like a woman's legs come over and pick it up and then you hear another gun shot and then the thin the the the tea they thae the thr thr thi the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the Do you know how this? Why is it? I didn't, I just, I got really angry about that. And then also later, there's like an army guy who, you don't, it happens off screen. Oh, gomer pile? Yeah, private gomer pile. Because you're with Marcus Mark and Zoe Day should know when this happens, but the implication is that he kills himself himself with his gun also, and then other people start killing themselves with his gun also. And, and th. And, and th. And, the, th, th, th, th, th, th. And, th. th. Yeah, th. th. Yeah, th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. I, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. I thi. thi. thi. thoooooo. I th. th. they. they. they. It's, they, they, then other people start killing themselves with his gun also and it fires like I don't know 120 rounds. Yeah I didn't know if he

was killing everybody or or if they were. It didn't seem like anybody was really being aggressive towards others so much as just killing themselves. It's true. It's true. But maybe it evolved to make him aggressive. Maybe I don't know who fucking cares. So this happens like you're looking at our main. their. the is gunshots and Markey Mark says oh no and so he day Chanel says what oh no lady there are gunshots what do you think he's saying oh no about like I just couldn't like these things happened and I was like this is a movie yeah and I like we didn't write it like a professional road right yeah yeah forty eight million dollars right on the screen right in front of you where did that money go do? like like like like like like like th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th th th th th th the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi th the th thi thi thi thi thi th. thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the an thea thea thean thean thean thean thean thea thea thea' the screen right in front of you. Where did that money go? Do you think the actor's salaries? I hope there was a hell of a craft service table. Oh my the rows of cocaine. Yeah. I was going to say bagels and locks but no

cocaine works too. Oh I do have a note for my favorite ridiculous thing that happened in this movie. For a while they're they their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tho. I was their their their their their their is their. I was their. I was their. I was their. I was their. I was their. I was their. I was their is is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is. I was. I was. I was. I their tho. I tho. I tho. I thooo. I hope. I hope. I hope. I hope. I hope. I hope. I hope. I hope. I hope. I hope. I hope. I th. I th. I th. I th. I in this movie. For a while they're held up in a model home. And then they walk away from the model home and as they're walking away there's a big billboard for the new neighborhood that's coming in. It's a picture of the model home and above it it says you deserve this? Yeah. And I thought that was really funny. That actually was pretty funny. So I guess we can give the good and the bad and th that that th th th the worst the worst th the worst th the worst th the worst the worst the th the th the th the the th the the the the th. And the the the th. And th. And the the th. And th. th. the thin the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the new the new the new the new the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the new the the the the new the the the new the new the the new th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi new. thi new. the the the the new. the the the the the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the Yeah, so Katie, we've wrapped up this movie. Have we? We've given the good and the bad. And the worst. I mean, I'm assuming we're both just going to go hand turkey, but let's go with the rating on this one.

Well, it is a movie, unlike the godmaster of Indian flats, which raided a hand turkey from our friend Carrie. It's a movie. It's more of a movie than that is. And again, I did think the deaths were good. Right. I was actually really into the guys hanging from the trees. I don't know why. Although now that I'm thinking about it, it doesn't make any sense because it seemed like everybody just to the quickest way to kill themselves and making a noose is not a particularly fast way to. But it was a new set of the gardeners thes. Oh, was it? Yeah. Okay, see, I should have paid more attention. It's fine. Your house was crumbling around to.

I am currently homeless. Two. Okay. Yeah, I've thought long and hard about this. Oh yeah? Is this your thesis? No, just about where, where this movie comes down and what we've watched thus far and I'm not as mad at this movie as I was with I know what you did last summer. You're kidding me? No I hate this move or I like this movie

better than I know what you did last summer. That was fully competent acting I hate. I'm sorry I get so argumentative when you try to do your rating. It's fine it's just don't understand you. I'm an enigma Katie. I'm an enigma, Katie. They really are. I would give this a two as well. What did you give I know you did that summer. I gave it half a star. Oh, yeah, I got real mad about that, didn't I did? I think I think you have more of a sentimental attachment than then you're giving yourself credit for. I just felt like everybody I felt like everybody was trying in that movie and in this movie they were trying to go home. Yeah, and in th th th th. And in th. And in th. And in th. th th. th. they th. th. they they they they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were th. th. they were they they they they they they were th. thi. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I got th. I got th. I got th. I got th. I got th. I got th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I got the. I got the. I got the. I got the. I got the the. I got th. out of there. Even the child was like, she's like, I'm crying, I guess I'm fine. I mean, at least this movie made me question things like how do the trees make wind? What did you come up with? Nothing. You know, science, dushbag.

Science can't always, it can always give you an answer, but it's not necessarily the explanation for what really happened. That's actually, th, th, th, th, th, th, I I I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I'm th, I'm thi thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I I I thi, I I I I I I I I I I I th, I I I I I I I I th, I th, I I I I I I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thiiiiiiiiiiiia' thiia' thia' thia' thi, I'm thi, I'm give you, it could give you an answer, but it's not necessarily the explanation for what really happened. That's actually what an answer is. Oh my gosh, I'm gish-back. Oh yeah, sorry I said to use science. I blew it. I blew it. I blew it.

Well, I'm glad that, I don't know. I'm glad that Marcos says terrible things about it, but then that also says like, I don't know, that's also kind of like, catty when actors are in movies that are bad and they're like, that was a bad movie. But I, I got a boat, so fuck you. You know? You know? Yeah, he doesn't put any of the blame on his own shoulders, maybe they didn't do it all in one take and he acted some of them real hard and him they was like, take it down. Take it down to like a volume level.

I don't know what hard acting would be for that dude other than reps. Oh man. We should see fear. I'm okay. I think we might, it's not really a horror movie. It's not really a horror movie. What? Is this a horror movie? I think it's intended to be, don't you? Yeah, I mean it's a it's listed as a thriller on Amazon. Okay. I could see being sci-fi. It's like it seems to be walking a bit of a lot.

Because I always wonder like, like some people don't think signs of a horror movie. Yeah, I mean I think this fits into the the the supernatural horror on some level yeah even though it's just natural horror because it's trees but fear is significantly scarier but I haven't seen it since I was like 15 so what do I know? All right well I think that that pretty much wraps us up on this one. Yeah, yeah, the happening. It happened. We didn't even say the crapening, which is really probably the most obvious joke.

Or the fappening. Well, that's how we wrote it, right? Yeah, he just fappened it all over this napkin. Fappened it. Gross. I hate myself. That stays in. I want to say a quick thank you to people who have written reviews on iTunes for us. Yeah, we're finally like a, we're like a real boy now.

Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Yeah, so if more people could do that, the, I think the way it works is the more people that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the way it works is the more people that give us reviews and ratings, the more people get to see it. Yeah. They kind of get bounced up in there. Yeah, we've got to get bounced up in there. Oh, uh, oh. Jesus.

This movie has made us stupewit. The rest of our podcast, I'm here and I don't know. Who you think? You can find us on Twitter, where a where you lands on Twitter, and Facebook, we're Facebook, backslash, where wolf ambulance. Real quick, our next, the next movie that we're doing is Phantom of the Paradise. That's right, I couldn't remember what it was, but I knew it was something I was excited about. I think we're staying in the genre of ridiculous, but I'm hoping that movie's going to be a lot more fun. The trailer the the the the the the the the tra th th. The th. The th. The th. T trailer th. T trailer th. Tr th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi to to to to to to to to to to be to be thi. to be to be to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be thi. to be thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. thea. thea. thea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. We're, thea. We're thea. thea. Wea. We're thea. We're that that movie's going to be a lot more fun. The trailer makes it look pretty fun. Yeah, so look forward to that and you know start watching if you want to, you don't want us to spoil everything for you because we will.

Ruin it. We're ruiners. Just like John Leguezamo. All right, thank you so much for listening to another episode of Whewulf Ambulance. Bye. Bye.