Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 134- #Horror (2015)

Episode Date: May 15, 2017

Oh god, teens. What are they even doing? We try to decode their weird, incomprehensible behavior in this week's episode in which we discuss the 2015 film "#Horror." THE TITLE HAS A HASHTAG IN IT, THIS IS THE WORLD IN WHICH WE LIVE. Special topics for your consideration include:  #Remembering VW bumper stickers #Terrible behavior, witnessed #A surprising tie-in to last week's episode ("The Cell") #The most disturbing word combination that Allen could conceive #Whether this movie makes sense to younger people? Maybe someone could let us know?? Have you seen this one? Did you like it? Hate it? Feel as baffled and crazy as we did? Tell us about it at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Twitter @werebulance or on Instagram @werewolfambulance. You can also email us for our segment "MAILBAG!" at [e-mail] and if you're feeling super generous, leave us an iTunes rating and review.   Did you miss some of the other times we tried to figure out what teens are talking about? Catch up with Episode 48- "Unfriended" or Episode 31- "All the Boys Love Mandy Lane." Speaking of stuff teens like (and everyone likes, come on), how about checking out some sweet handmade horror stuff? You can do that by visiting our sponsor, Cryptocurium, at www.cryptocurium.com where you can sign up to have that sweet handmade stuff delivered to your door monthly via the Parcel of Terror. You can also get into The Order of the Thinned Veil, an appreciation society of all things Halloween that you should totally join. Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast. 

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Hi, Alan. Do you think we could keep this up for the entire episode? HASHTag, this is another episode of WhereWuf Ambulance. I feel like once you use too many words in it, there's like not clickable anymore. I love doing hashtags that are like three sentences long. You click on it, you're the only post. I mean, hashtag, yeah, you click on your other post. HASHTIK. Ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh boy, hashtag horror. Oh, gosh. Pre-teen girls face a night of terror when their obsession with the disturbing online game goes too far. Is that what happened in this movie? Does anything happen in this movie? Does it? Everybody has tags and then there's a hashtag hags and then there's a hashtag. And it was driving me insane. Yeah, why would you? That doesn't do anything? I was like, is that an emoged? I don't. Is it the hashtag emoji is their hashtag emoji? It's like when people use the 100 and you're like is that cool?

Is that a good thing? Yeah, you're keeping it a hundred? What? What the fuck was that? I don't know? I just thought it was like 100% pure love What the fuck was that? What the fuck was that? This movie opens and it's like that Volkswagen ad where the people can't stop fucking in their tip. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their th. their their th. their th. th. their th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. their their, thi's. their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. Yeah. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. theat tipeat. tipe. I's, tipe. th. th. th. their, their, their, their, the people can't stop fucking in their car and having babies. You know what I'm talking about? It plays during baseball a lot. What? Wait, wait?

Have you not seen this? No, is it based on those? the bumper stickers from the late 90s, early 2000s, far from coming? Far from coming. Oh, oh my God. Oh, tho, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, tha. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. forgot about those and now it just like became clear to me. Far from Pukin, far from coming, yeah. Classics. No, this is a Volkswagen ad where people keep just cannot stop fucking in their Volkswagen.

And each time they get pregnant, I guess, and they have another child, they have to get that bigger Volkswagen. So it's like an ad for all the sizes of Volkswagen. Not an ad for birth control. Not an ad for birth control. But then the door opens to the car, and these people are fully closed, just fully closed orgasms. Wait, in the ad or in this movie. In the movie. And then the woman says, how did you get to be so extraordinary?

That is like the first line of the movie. I just closed my little computer. I was like, I'm not watching this anymore, so I don't know what happens from there. Wasn't that Balthasar Getty that was fucking in the car? Who is that? Is that somebody? His name is Balthusar Getty, though? That's, that's somebody. Oh, he's an actor and musician. Of course he's a musician. He's a member of the band Ringside, the producer half of Rap Duo The Wow, and a member of the Getty family. He was Ralph and Lord of the Flies. Oh, okay. That's all. There's more of it.

I'm not going to read it. Okay, they're in a Ferrari. Okay, they're in a Ferrari. the try and a Farraray sports car. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thr. th. th. th. th. th. th.. Sure. The idea of trying to make the beast with two backs in a Ferrari front seat. I hate that phrase, you know I hate that. That may or may not be why I use it from time to time. They're full, talk about doing it while you're fully clothed too. Literally they have both head to the snow. What is this world? I couldn't find anywhere where it said this movie was completely improvised?

It seemed it was. But I would have not shocked at all. No. Twery. The script was actually just never written. Timothy Hutton is in this movie. Chloe Savignier. Is that how you say it?

Yeah. Savagni. Natasha Leone. She's like one of the top build people. I love Natasha Leone. She has one fucking scene. Same with Tarran Manning. I was like, oh, this is gonna be good. I like these actresses that are funny and they're good and they're weird. They have like five lines a piece. We should do that movie that a friend of mine directed that she's in with Chloe Sevinier called Anti-Burth. Anti-Christ.

No, Antib- And we can always bring it up. Chaos reigns. Yeah, and then just a slew of 12-year-old ladies. Here's the thing. I don't want to be mean to children. a slew of 12-year-old ladies. Here's the thing. Mm-hmm. I don't want to be mean to children. No, no.

They're terrible actors. All of them. Not at the top of their game. None of them. Some of them more charismatic than others. Fine. That's like saying some of these candy bars stepped on more than others. Do you know what I mean? Oh my God, you just reminded me. I was at the grocery store earlier. And there they had a chest freezer that had mochi in it.

Ooh, what grocery store are you in? Oh, whole foods, of course. Where else is gonna have moachy hanging? I guess that's a sure save. That's a freezer case. Sure save barely as a nice little treat. Yeah. And this kid sitting there, opens the thing, pulls out of the mochi, starts licking it. No, he does not. And his dad goes, you can't have that, takes it out of his hand, puts it back into the mocha, and I was like, oh, guess mochi. That just that's over. Yeah, I guess that's that's over. that's over. that's over. that's over. that's over. that's over. that's over. that's over. the moh. the moch. the moch. the moch. the moch. the moch. the moch. the mochi. Oh, the mochi. Oh, the mochi. Oh, the mochi. Oh, the mochi. Oh, the mochi. Oh, the mochi. Oh, the mochi. Oh, the mochi. Oh, the mochi. Oh, the mochi. Oh, the mochi. Oh, the mochi. Oh, the mochi. Oh, the mochi. Oh, the moch. Oh, the moch. Oh, the moa. Oh, the moa. Oh, the moa. Oh, the mo. Oh, the mo. Oh, the moa. Oh, the moa. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, the mochi. Oh, the mochi. Oh, infect everybody. Oh man, that fucking kid, that fucking parent. I do love the brazenness of that child.

I don't know, I want mochi. That's a whole foodstopper for you, I feel. You don't see that shit. You're supposed to graze in the bins, especially not the mochi bin. This is a movie. so this really works out well. Maybe the worst parenting. Like, I was watching this movie, and I'm pregnant. I'm having a girl, and I was like, congratulations.

Thanks, you knew that. I was like, fuck, she's gonna be a teenager someday. God. Like, this is a disaster. This is a nightmare. And then I was, like, as I was watching, I was like, I was insane. I in this in this in this in this in this in this in this in this in this in this in this in this in this, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I'm, like, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, like, oh wait, I got some say in this, like, sure she'll be a sass-mouth little brat, but... Maybe the internet will be done by that.

You think it would be over. Because this movie is basically the horrors of the internet and cell phones. I didn't really understand what the game was. And then, so it's like Candy Crushed, but with... With dead people? Dead people? But also just photos of you and your girlfriends making like cutsy faces. Yeah. Playing dress up. Full reveal on this one.

I did watch the first half of this movie kind of drunk last night. Sure. It was probably better. It would probably help. Well, I was like, I'm watching it. And then I just hear, are you awake? Are missing, I was like, oh God, no, I am not awake. So I was like, watch this tomorrow. Did you go back or did you start from where you remember? So at the beginning that they mentioned that this is a game that they're playing? Not really. So that's not until the end, right? Well, they're like sort of referencing, their thii. So, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. So. So, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. throughout like it goes to those cut scenes where they're like making the candy crush slime. Yeah yeah I assume that was

just like their Facebook. Yeah I didn't understand it I guess because then at the end too it references like the slender man stabbings. Yeah but that it just happens at the end and it doesn't make any sense because there was no fictional character in this movie it was just like hey you're the the headlines law and order episode. You know what I mean? There was, it didn't happen, unless Bennett was the, I just don't understand. So Tara Subcoff is the person who wrote and directed this film? No shit, you know who that is? No. She was the woman who was in the cell, in the cell.

Oh really? Wait, wait. I might be hallucinating. Hold on. Yeah, the cell. That was Tara Subcoff. I didn't realize it was Tara Subcoff week here on whereof ambulance, but here we are. We may be the least researched podcast that exists. I love it. Well, you knew one fact. I knew another fact. It's perfect. We don't need to know all this, all the facts if we have parts of the pie. That's why we do this tho th th th th th th th th th th th th th. the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tha. tel. the tha- tha- the cell. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. tel. tel. tel. tel. tel. tel. tel. tel. tel. tel. tel. tel. tel. tel. We don't need to know all the facts if we have parts of the pie. That's why we do this together. So, Tara Subguff, from the cell, wrote and directed this movie after talking to a friend of her child, a friend of her daughter who had been cyber bullied. Why are all these movies about cyber bullying?

Because it's th is is is is tha tha tha tha thia thia tha tha tha tha? Because it's a real bad thing that's happening right now. Yeah, it is, but if make them, don't make it so bad. I mean, don't make the movies so bad. Make a better movie about cyber bullying. Have you watched the Slenderman documentary? No, I can't mean, I hear it's on HBO. It is. Yeah.

That's fascinating though. Those kids are fucked. Yeah. It's an interesting documentary that, yeah, yeah, yeah, you should check it out. Yeah, maybe I'll get your HBO password after all. A wink? So she was talking to a friend of hers kid who's been cyber bullied and she was like, oh, I need to do a movie about this. Don't think she did much research before she started this. I don't think she's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, thi thi thi thi thi, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, maybe, maybe, yeah, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, to to to to thi. Yeah, maybe, thi, thi. I don't think she's used a cellular phone. It did seem like someone had explained things to her, and she's like, I got this. Yeah, it was like, yeah, a visual description

of what it looks like when you look at a cell phone. Or like, it seemed like she should have consulted the teen while writing it. I don't know. The opening credits really stressed me out, by the way. All the like fast-moving digital images and names. That's where I have the note is this movie for Millennials because I can't handle this. No, I like, it was, I had to like sort of look away. Yeah. Oh yeah, you're a millennial.

Sometimes I forget that you're a millennial. It's not kind of bullshit though because I think I was Gen Y why the thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thinus, thi, thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is th, is th, is, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Is thi, is then they were like, no, you're not that anymore. Like, I didn't grow up with the internet or a cell phone or like, you know what I mean? I would have had that world book at my grandparents' house. You barely abbreviate things. Barely. Barely. Barely. Yeah, it's a, in the girl, is playing the game on

her phone, her dad's trying to take away her phone, it's something about Apple Harvest. I just didn't understand what any of it meant. I didn't understand what anything was. This is right before he says, please don't tell those girls your sensitivities. No, Natasha Leone says that you were kid. I'm like, ah, all right, so our, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, th, th, th, th, th, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. th th th th th th th thi th th th th thi th th thi thi thi. thi, the I'm like, ah. All right, so our point of view character is Sam, who's like 12. And she's mouthing off to her mom, who's Natasha Leone, who I'm also like, oh God, Natasha Leon has a 12-year-old, like, I feel like she's my age, you know? Yeah, yeah.

But she, like is a scholarship kid and these girls are all real rich. And this this this this this the girl she's the girl she's the girl she's the girl she's tha thatatatatatatattatatau thia she's thia thia thia thi thi-shea, she's thi-shea-shea-shea-shell is thia thia thi-shell is thi-she's thia thia thia thia thia too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi-shea-shea-shew. thi-shew. thi-shew. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. theou-s. theou-s. thease thease thea-s. tooooooooooooomoomoomoomoombs. She's is a scholarship kid and these girls are all real rich and this girl who's house she's going to is like an art mansion. And the top of Leon's really good in that scene, her one scene that she's in, she's like you still love driving around this old turd. Yeah, God, she's so good in everything. I don't know it. Like I had to ask Missy, which I guess she's in. Oh, I see, I like her from Orange is the New Black. And she was like, oh God, what's it called?

The cheerleading movie where she's a lesbian was very formative for me as a kid. Bring it on? No, that's Kristen Dunst. Wow. The only cheerleading I know. I think it's, but I'm a cheerleader, which is about cheerleading lesbians. Slums of Beverly Hills, she's real good in. She's pretty great. These all sound like you're just making them up on the fly right now.

And they're movies from the 90s. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, so basically Sam goes to this house even though it seems like they don't like her, but then it seems like they don't like each other.......... to to to to to me. to me. though it seems like they don't like her but then it seems like they don't like each other so I guess that's just how the world works. Yeah just kids are just non-stop shitty to each other which I guess is true on some level? I don't think to each other's faces. This is not how girls act

girls are never shitty to your face. Okay. Unless the world has not like the ball bust in like the things like th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, kids, kids, thi, kids, thi, thi, thi, kids, thi, th, th, th, th, kids, th, kids, th, kids, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, kids, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, kids, kids, kids, their, kids, their, their, kids, kids, in a way where they'll ostracize you. Girls aren't like, girls don't call you fat to your face. Girls call you fat to their friends behind your back. You know what I mean? Did you think that, at one point I was like, maybe the dialogue is supposed to be how people talk on the internet to each other, but they're doing it face to face. Okay, that's interesting. Because it was basically like everyone was a fat bitch and everyone was like blah blah blah. Just shut your goddamn mouth basically, yeah.

Yeah. I like that a lot better and I think we should roll with that and pretend that's the truth. It probably is. That's what it felt like anyway. Okay. I'll take that lady from the cell on that she came up. that. That's, damn. That's, damn.tip, that's amazing. We're pretty good. We're pretty good at this. Oh, we're making connections. We don't even know we're making.

I know. Put the pieces together. All these girls kind of looked the same to me for a while. Did they look the same to you? Yeah. Yeah. They all kind of had the same like straight hair cut. Yeah. Like one's hair was shorter and one was a bit pudgier and one was a bit blonder. Like that's what they all otherwise looked identical. I thought the blonde one was very charismatic.

She was the best, Sophia, whose house, yeah, she was the best. Luckily and she gets the like, they gave her the most stuff to do. Yeah. They also give Georgie a lot to do and she is terrible is is. She is a terrible actress. I'm sorry, that kid sucks. Every time she has to cry, she just goes, eh, eh, I hate to mock a child, but come on. You're doing a job, you know? It's like when people who college football players, except they're not getting pain. P. Yeah. Yeah, she was definitely the bottom of the pile and Sophia was the top of it and then everyone else just kind of mush together.

Yeah, yeah. And Cat, I could not tell Cat apart from Sophia for a while. Oh, I couldn't tell her apart from Cat. I thought they were like I had to go back and fix my notes because I thought they were the same person. It's just, okay, so Cat is being, her dad's taking her to this house. Yeah, and he's a doctor. And an asshole. Yeah, but so is she.

Sure. I don't understand. They keep, I keep hintinginging, I the hinting at her backstory. That her mom has passed away last year and she's had some problems as a result. Like you would. But she is bullying the other kids? She's not getting bullied. She's super aggressively going after everybody.

Yeah. They keep fighting her over. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe that's a commentary on the internet. We all keep going back to Facebook even though it's kind of shitty. Maybe it's like a don't engage the trolls kind of thing. Yeah.

And we're doing, okay, all right. Yeah, all right. Oh, this movie is opening up like an onion to us right now. I feel liked liked. talk to me about the pulsating egg-faced Marilyn Monroe. I don't know but I really liked it. I thought it was very good. Was it actually pulsating or was it just in Sam's like I think disconnect with reality? It happens when other people are looking at it too I think so. There's like a little air generator there they just make it poof-foo-foo-foo-it. It's art. It's art you wouldn't like to be. It the note, kids be vaping? Oh yeah, they were vaping and smoking real cigs. Yeah.

Hey kids. Don't do be there, really? It's like, whatever. Especially don't vape, it's not cool. It'll never be cool. Take it from someone who started smoking when he was 11 years old. It's a real dumb idea. God, you and my grandpa both. We both

worked in the minds together. Yeah, yeah, I had to walk there. You got to do something. So like would you say what percentage of this movie is girls taking pictures themselves and uploading them? Oh like 47? I agree. Yeah. And then like 30% of them is just them being shitty to each other? And then the other... Is Chloe Seveigne? Seven-ye? Yeah, you got it. Savigny.

Just like not being a parent. She... She, she was an alcoholic. Which I guess is a commentary on alcoholics. Who's also in AA? Yeah, but drank before she, she like was taking... She had a highball class. On her way to the car to go to AA. Where she meets where she hangs out with Tarran Manning briefly. Oh, is that Terran Manning?

I don't know her either. Oh, she's great. She you really seen that movie? Yeah. What about sisterhood of the traveling pants? I have not seen that. What about the y'alya sisterhood? Until you said that I thought they were the same thing. The yaya sister.

Those aren't the 90s, I don't think. Those are later. I was an high school. Oh yeah, that's a child. Like 98? I was a senior in high school. No, that was not a senior in high school. I think it was like 98.

It doesn't matter. Listen, I've seen the Britney Spears movie. It's fine. It's really bad. I think Zoe Seldana is the other person in it too. Oh, yeah. A talented cast. All around. All around. Did you like when Timothy Hutton kept grabbing the phone out of his daughter's hand and then just handing it back to her?

Do you like how everything Timothy Hutton does in this movie is just morally reprehensible? I feel like he was doing like, all right, I want to look a lot like Bill Murray. And I'm not sure what I'm doing here. I'm not sure what he's. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th too. I'm doing too too too too too too too too too too he too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too to too to to to their their they. I'm they. I'm thi thi thi thi thii they. I they. I too the the the the tooing. I to to too to to too too too too right, I want to look a lot like Bill Murray. And I'm not sure what I'm doing here. I'm not sure what he's doing there either, to be honest. No. Like, so he's, Cat's dad, and he drops her up and speeds away from her. And he drops her off and he drops her off and speeds away from her. And he drops her off and speeds away from her. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they do that kind that. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the he he the he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he I I I I he I he I he I he I he. I I I he. I I I he. I I I I I I I he. I I I I I I he. I he. I I I he. I he. I he. I he. I he. I he. I he. I he. I he. I he. he he he he he he he he he he he he th. I'm not th. I'm not he he he he he he he he he he he he he. I'm he. I he just- Speeds away. Yes. Oh yeah, he drops her up and speeds away from her. Because she's being a brat. Yeah, yeah.

They do that kind of thing. She's like in the mochi in the grocery store. Yeah, she's saying it's like, you don't fucking do that. And she gets kicked out of the party, her message and goes back to the house. Shit. And just like fucking freaks out. Like nothing makes any sense about his behavior. Threatening these girls, calling them awful names, threatening them with a knife,

telling them they should probably kill themselves. He does say that that's good advice. And he also tells tells tells tells tells tel tel tel tel tel tel tel tel tel tel the the the the he says the the, the, the, the, themselves. He does say that that's good advice. Yeah. And he also tells them they're going to be charged as adults. For, I'm not sure what. I think maybe underage drinking, which by like the law is you're under age. You're gonna be charged as someone drinking at 21. Yeah. So you're fine. You're fine. It just doesn't, it doesn't make any sense. No. And he's like, if she's not back here in an hour, I'm calling the cops, why not? Why not call the cops now, sir? And then... Well, you find out later why not?

No, tell me. He's been watching the whole time. Has he? Yeah, he's the black glove hand that has the camera in the woods. Wait, wait, why didn't he pick up his daughter when she got kicked out? Then if he saw her get kicked out. Yeah, that I don't know. Yeah, I mean there's a lot of things that immediately fall apart in this movie. And the, the, the, who is the killer? And yeah, and why he's been watching from outside the house. Did you at any point care who the killer? the killer? the killer? the killer? the killer. the killer. I the killer? I the killer. I the killer. I the killer. I the killer. I was? I was? I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was, I was. I was. I was. I was. I was, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. thi. thi. thi. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. Why. Why. Why, the the the. Why. Why, why. Why, thi. Why, the thi. Why. Why, thi. Why. Why, the the th from outside the house. Did you at any point care who the killer was? Obviously when the reveal happened, I was like, oh shit, I probably should have been thinking about who that was, huh? I actually thought it was going to be Sam and that she was having a mental break?

Well, she does. She's having a break with reality. Is she? Yeah, she keeps seeing the blood pouring of pool pool. Why? What's wrong with Sam? She's just a poor kid. Like we all grow out poor, you know. Sometimes. I, for all the ridiculousness of the movie, there's the one scene where they all put their cell phones, like all their cell phones get taken away from them and they have these like honest conversations? Oh yeah, they lock it and they lock them in a safe which becomes important later and throw the key in the pool. Yeah. But anyway, yeah. But they're talking about like when they first had their period and the first kiss they

ever had and like I was like, holy shit this feels like such an honest thing that's happening right now. Like not conversations. I mean, that's probably because Tara Subkopf grew up in an arrow without cell phones, you know. Right, and I thought that was an interesting commentary of like, oh, you get rid of these distractions and you have honest, interesting conversations. Yeah. Okay, so there were messages in here. Yeah, like, hashtag. Hashtag. HASHTag. hashtag die bitches hashtag. There's also that truly distressing mask dancing scene.

Oh my god, it's amazing. I really liked it. And then now having realized that she was in the cell, I wonder if it was like inspired by that scene where all the doors open and the women are dancing, you know what I mean? Yeah, I love Sam's dance style to her, just arms and legs and like flabbing like a bird. Yeah, it's pretty good. Four wins, that sounds like a fart. That was funny.

I do like that that girl kept talking about farts because that's me. I'm that girl. I was going to ask you of cream cheese dressing has the same effect on your cream. You saying that is the scourgeaage. that. that. that. that. that. I. It ss. It ss. I that is a that is a that is a that is a that is a that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that sounds. That's that sounds. That's that sounds. That's that sounds. That's that sounds. That's that sounds. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thiia. thia. thia. thia. thia. thia. thia. thia. that's thia. thia. that's that's thia. that's that's that's that's that's that's that I hope you never say again. And I think you, no longer is social media the scourge. You saying that is the scourge. Scream cheese trussed. No. Where'd they get those matching swimsuits, though?

Where do they get all those clothes that fit them? I don't know. I mean, Chloe's seven days. She looks lovely. She looks great. Let's talk about how that story that her friend tells her about the art guy who like kills all the people who wouldn't leave the party. I was like, okay, good setup. This is a murder house.

What happens now? And it's like a weird art murder house. And they keep showing that weird picture of like the kids with bags with bags with their heads? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay, fine, I'm in. That meant nothing about anything. These are the blood boring into the pool. Why? Why did that happen? I don't know. She was just like staring at them swimming,

and all the sudden she saw like the shining blood boring into the bowl. Why? I don't, I don't. And I wasn't. And I wasn't. And I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. th th wasn't. th wasn't. th wasn't. th wasn't. And I wasn't. th. And I wasn't. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th. th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thr. thr. thr. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the to. the the the the the the the throooooo Also, where's Molly while all of this is happening? The house made? She's like the personal assistant that couldn't find the cell phones? And then she just like straight up, like why wasn't she there while all this was going on? The cell phones that Chloe 7-Yea was sitting on? I was sitting on them. God, she's such a good bitch though. She really nails it.

So, so cats out in the woods, I guess, or whatever. She is. And Sophia goes out to find her and finds her dad's body in the car. Yeah, yeah. Okay, he gets killed. Did we say that? It doesn't matter. Yeah, right if it's fucking, Alan.

We've discussed this. Okay, what are we going to call it? I don't know. She finds a gun in the car. Why did he have a gun? Because he's rich? I don't know. Why was there a gun purse? There's that gun that has like the purse strap on it? I don't know. There's so much art in that house too. It's insane. Yeah. Whatever. I was like there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho that's that's that's tho tho tho tho that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. that's their their their that. their their that. their their their their their their their their their thooo. their thooo. that's that's that's the that house too. It's insane. Yeah. Whatever. I was like, there's too many statues. I don't want that much statuary in my house. Sometimes it's kind of scary too. Like there's that one scene where I figure what's happening, but it's sort of a tense scene

and then it cuts, like the camera cuts to Sam and behind her is that statue that statue that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that statue that's that's that statue that's that statue that's that's that statue that's that statue that's that's that statue that's that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that that that that that that that's that that's that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that... I I I I I I I I I I I I that. I that. I that. I that. I that was good. I like that. It doesn't do anything or mean anything, but it was there. I don't. I feel like this movie gets very artsy for artsy's sake at times, and it's just like to its detriment. Much like the movie's from last week. This movie premiered at the Museum of Modern Art. So, art. Yeah. And then went straight to Netflix.

Like you do. And it it it it it it's th, th and it's th and it's thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho tho tho only tho thi. thi. thi. tho tho tho- thoomo- tho- tho- tho- thi thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. then went straight to Netflix. Like you do. And it's only on Netflix. It's not anywhere else. Oh really? It's just like not a thing. I hope you guys have Netflix. Did you guys watch this one? Ehh.

I don't know, Alan. I mean, so Sophia calls her mom from her dad's phone. There was so much resignation. I don't know. You though, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, th though, you tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th th. th th th. th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, you tho, you tho, you thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. tho. tho. th phone. There's so much resignation. I don't know. You know what though you got to get right back on the horse. Don't forget when they were doing the Ethel Merman swimming shit, which is so weird. Just synchronized swimming for no reason. Fine. When in matching suits.

Matching gray swim suits. You can't even find a gray swim suit, I feel like playing a thing they sell. I would wear wood if it was. Yeah. Sophia tries to call her mom from her dad's cell phone. Yeah. And her, the Chloe, Savigny. Sibnier. Just picks up the phone and like screams at him because she thinks it's her husband, which is like kind of a heartbreaking scene of this girl alone in the woods with her father's dead body trying to call her mom and she's just getting screamed out and hung up on and then her mom turns her cell phone off. Harry, I know you're fucking your art advisor. What is an art advisor? I don't know and I don't care. I don't ever want to see you again. Terran Manning's like do it, man. And the girl she's going, mom dad's dead. that's dad. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. the th. th. th. th. I's th. I's th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I's th. I's th. I's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's th. I's th. I's the th. I's the th. I's the the th. I's th. th. th. thr. t. t. te. te. te. tea. tea. tea. tea. te. te. the the the the the th. the the, she's going, mom, dad's dead. Dad's dead. It was really sad. Yeah. Yeah, I think she did a really good job with that.

She did a really good job when she screamed when she found him too. Yeah, fine. That could sign. The other's not so much. There's some really good dialogue in this too. Like the one girl saying her mom to stop eating chicken. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the that's the that's that's the that's that's that's the that's the one the one that's the one that's that's thoom really thoom really that's that's that's that's that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's their the the the the one the the the one girl. the one girl. the one girl. the one vegan. How can she not know that? Oh fucking years man, fucking years. Yeah. Just take the meatballs out. Come on mom. I've been vegan. I was vegan for 10 years. Gross.

It just seems like a hard way to live. I think it's what I've been vegetarian longer than I haven't been. Congrats. Strange. Yeah. I don't think chicken gives you your period early anyway. I don't think that's true. But I do like the line where they're talking about the guy, Siggi is tongue and the one girl's

her mouth. And she was like, I don't thi thi thi was just cleaning my teeth and I was like, oh I remember that. Yeah, that was good. I liked that. One thing this movie has going for it with teenage girls is that you can get them all to split up by just having a bunch of like a dramatic, I'm out of years, you know? Like you don'tthey're taunting Sophia and saying your mom slept with Hitler? That was pretty funny actually. But they were saying that that was Cat's Dad that looks dresses like Hitler.

What does that mean? Where's gray suits like Hitler? I think a lot of people wear suits. I also like when she's screaming at Dr. White that her mom doesn't want to talk to him because he messed up her tits and she's really pissed about it. I guess the problem I'm having is that this seems like a cautionary tale of too many things. Cell phones, social media, drinking, bad parenting, promiscuity, wealth, excessive wealth, like all of these.

You can't be mad at everything and have a cohesive movie. You gotta pick a couple things. Gotta pair down, you gotta know one to edit. Did you think it was a cautionary tale about underage drinking? No. They were doing, they were just holding highball glasses and drinking whiskey. Yeah, they looked fine. Sam gets drunk, fucking immediately. And that's what she's to pick to pick to pick to pick to pick to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. You thi. You thi. You thi. You've thi. You got thi. You got thi. You their their their thi. You thi. You thi. You thi. You thi. You thi. You thi. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You thi. You thi. You thi. You thi. You thi. You thi. You thi. You thi. You're thi. You're thi. theea. thea thea thea thea thea thea. thea thea thea. thea. You got thi. You got thi. Sam gets drunk, fucking immediately.

And that's what she's doing with the chicken arm dances. It's pretty good. She also, so Sam goes out to look for cat at one point and finds the Ferrari covered in blood and runs back into the house. And for some reason they've all decided she's a liar. Because she said she'd had sex. Right, and they were just like, well, you didn't. She probably didn't. I would hope now. She's 12 years old.

And they're like, you're lying. And she's kind of like, OK. Yeah. She just resets the ride and keeps on going. And I don't know if that's like kids. to fit in or just a shitty movie. Yeah. But we don't like...

I don't recall. Yeah, she got stabbed and then she dives into the swimming pool with all the blood on her from when she got stabbed. And then that's when somebody holds her underwater, but there's nobody there. And then somebody in a fedora is knocking on the glass that doesn't show back? back up again. Is it slender man? I don't know. Okay can we talk about slender man? Yeah sure, sure. Can you explain it to me? So it started as this I think it was a 4-tan thing. Oh god. Like the creepy pasta stuff, which is creepy posting and then it became creepy pasta where they were just trying to

invent new horror things. So this guy photoshopped these pictures of kids playing with the slender. tho. tho. tho. I. th. th. I. th. th. I. th. thu. th. th. I th. th. th. thu. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. to toe. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. toe. toe. the. the. the. the. the. the. So this guy photoshopped these pictures of kids playing with the slender man standing in the background. I was like, oh these guy keeps showing up in people's photographs. Okay, okay. And it just cool. I like yeah it's creepy and it just like have you ever watched marble hornets? What? It was a YouTube like thing that these kids were doing about being chased by the slender man. It was actually kind of creepy. Okay. So it's so it was a a a a a a the the the he. It was a he. It was a he. It was a he. It was a he. It was a he. It was a he. It was a he. It was a the the the he. It was a the the the the the th. It was a th. It was a th. It was a th. It was a th. It was a th. It was like, th. It was like, th. It was like, th. It was a th. It's like, th. It's like, th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's like, th. It's like, th. It's like, th. It's like, like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th slender man. It was actually kind of creepy. Okay. But, so it's a creepy concept. He's a bad guy. Well, okay. He, like, you can friend him and live in his magic. Like on Facebook?

I'm just trying to understand. In real life, IRL. Okay. So you can have like that roomy. And that's what the, when those girls, when Wisconsin or whatever that was, stabbed their friend when they were running away they were going to the woods that they thought slender man lived in. Wow. That's at least what they said. You should watch the documentary because a lot of other stuff comes up. Okay. Well, can I that. thi. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they. they. they they they they they they they they they're. they're they're they they're they're they're they're they're they're their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. I th. th. I th. th. th. th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. just, it's like the first internet, urban legend that took off. And it's become a thing unto itself.

And he has like, like shadow tentacles that pop out of him and like, we'll come around and like fill the room and capture you and all this stuff. All right. It's actually pretty creepy. It's a good and I like it. Sure. Is that who is outside? I mean, is that what the? I don't think so. Because the dad keeps talking about someone called Bennett too. Right.

And then when some of the, whenever you see photos being taken on people's cell phones, it has their username at the bottom and like Sophia XO and. Oh, I didn't th. the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, thi, thi, thi, that, thi's, thi's, thi, thi, because, because thi, because thi, because thi, because thi, because thi, because thi, because th is thi, because th, because th, because th, because th. Because, because, because, th. Because, th. Because, th. Because, th. I th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi. I thi. I thi's, thi's thi. I ththat. Yeah, and then some of them are Bennett. Oh okay. So I don't know if Bennett and then I was like is he Bennett? Is he like posing as his daughter's online boyfriend? Oh. Because I think it's coming from, I think it's the person who's outside taking the pictures. Right. And he... And he... Yeah, okay. then he wasn't outside knocking on the window when Sam gets... No, I assumed he was the one holding her underwater. What the fuck? But I don't know, but it may have been nobody was... Like, that's the thing is like, there's so much, like,

there's so many interlocking things going on right now that aren't necessarily locking. Like you were saying, there's so many cautionary tales happening in this that it's like it stops making sense at some point. I mean the plot description on Wikipedia doesn't even mention that. Oh really? I like the line how creepy is Whitey. Yeah, that's good. Also I guess this is about like Facebook Live? Because they're like streaming these deaths online right? Like, they seem to be being posted, right? Yeah. I just don't, I don't get it. And that's become even more the the the the th th the th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the the th. the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I te. I te. te. te. te. te. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the online, right? Like, they seem to be being posted, right? Yeah. I just don't, I don't get it. And that's become even more of a terrifying thing that's been happening.

I know. The world right now? Oh, everything is fucking terrible. So then the killer comes into the house and starts murder in the basement. Ava's been gone for all of Act 2. Yes. She had just run off when Dr. White got there, we don't see her again. And she was the lover in the Ferrari, right? Isn't that Ava? No, Ava's the one of the girls, the one with the gap in the teeth.

Oh, that's right. That's right. Sam finds her body in Act 3. Right. And that's like when we realize stakes are real, I guess. Although I guess people died in the first scene, but who cares? I don't really know. Wait, who killed them? It couldn't have been cat. She wasn't there, was she? Bennett?

Who's Bennett? I don't know. Is there a? OK. We got to Google this. Hashtag Horror Bennett. There's nobody listed as Bennett in the credits. Boy, did this get a low rating on IMDB. I think it has a higher rating that, or it has a higher rating on Rotten Tomatoes than the cell did.

Oh yeah? Yeah, but it only has 10 reviews. It is 3.2 on IMDB. And Roger Eber gave it one star. Oh. I thought he was dead. He has been for a little while. He loved the cell, though. Did he? Yeah. This is Peter Zzinski.

That's a lot of consonants in one one word. I'm sorry, he gave it half a star. Oh, buddy. He called it the already, he said, basically like, comparing it to the already excreble unfriended, and I'm so mad we have not used the word excreble. I literally forgot that we did unfriended. It was, unfriended was way better than this. It at least made some sense, you know? Oh, no, it didn't, because the computer made them do it, right?

Did the computer? The ghost lived in the computer. The ghost the fucking. F shit, the ghost th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the th, the that, thi, that, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, the they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, the the computer made them do it, right? Did the computer? The girl lived in the computer. The ghost lives in the computer. Fuck and shit, man. That's what I'm saying. You can make a movie about cyber bullying and have it really be terrifying and like real. And instead the girl lives in the computer, or there's like a slender. I just don't...

Okay, I'm trying trying to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to figure out, okay I'm reading this. That's a good dimension, Bennett. Maybe it's the spirit of Ray Jameson, according, this is a theory posited by this. Oh, shit. But that doesn't make any sense because they were internet friends. Yeah, I'm not sure what the Bennett was. It could have been her dad posing as somebody. But then like who's the dude in the fador that's banging on the window? Where was, I like, where was the dad while that was happening? And he guess he's never wearing a fedora at any other point. Yeah. It's, it's, I guess this movie is also kind of hurt by the fact that nobody has seen it so people aren't talking about it online.

It's, it's, no, it's fine. Ladies' nightmare watched this one week that I couldn't attend and they said it wasn't that bad. And I'm like kind of mad right now. I feel like we need to get them on the line and say, what are you fucking talking about? Did you four-way call all of them right now? So, um, you mentioned, um, um, um, th th thu thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thi thu, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that that that that that that that, that, Sophie has gotten the gun, and she is convinced because they found Dr. White's phone and his phone had the murder footage on it with the game. What is the game? Sorry.

It's a, it's a hashtag slash something. It's like, they say it at the very end when they're like the news wrap up. Oh, okay. Did you see the hashtag that had a gun in its hand and shot the movie screen? What? Oh my god, I don't understand the words that are coming out of your mouth anymore. So Sophia has the handgun. And she's convinced that Whitey has killed her dad.

Right, it seems plausible. Yeah, totally. I'm on team Sophia here. So she runs up and shoots him. Yeah. As he's trying to try and he's trying to rationalize with Sam, like, I'm trying to like control cat. I need to get her like, you know, she's like, she's got a lot of issues and I'm trying to help her and I've been watching and... He kind of deserved to be shot. I know. Yeah, I know. You know what I said? That's internet.

He was super shitty. Yeah. He made me one, S-M-H. And I just realized that when the one girl gets stabbed, she's then in the glass enclosed tennis court. Fuck, it's the cell! Fock me! Because I was like, oh, that's like a nice call back to her, getting her period. On a tennis court, I was like, oh, that's really sad.

It's the mother fucking me. You have to be fucking kidding me. I'm going to get a screened the screen the screen the screen tha ss tha ss tho the mother fucking cell. You have to be fucking kidding me. I'm gonna throw myself out a window. Please don't. You gotta get a screen in this window. Very dangerous up here. Fuck, Alan, you just fit those jigsaw pieces together. Oh, it's a shitty three-piece jigsaw possible. I know, but we've solved it, haven't we? Maybe the game is played by getting the most likes?

I think so. Okay, because they do keep talking about that. Yeah. And then in the news wrap up, the one newscaster says that it was being followed by millions. There's like a hundred and eighty-six in millions? What? What? Yeah, like a graph? It's like 186 in millions.

Because I gotta feel like it was like the dark web or something. Because there's, you know, like that all that shit where you can go like buy heroin from the dark web. You can buy heroin on the internet. Yeah, you gotta get the dark web. Can I say something? Can I say something? God, I hope so. I think I always thought the dark web was made up, but I guess it's real. Yeah, it's real. I think I always thought it was just a

plot device in movies. It's a thing that like I'm such a, no other way, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just like, I'm just to even want to like, I don't even want to see it I don't know what it is like like you think you'll get sucked in I don't know I just like I'll be the guy that like goes it looks at a thing and it'll be the worst possible thing that I can look at I'll go to jail for it yeah yeah I just like I'll see the snuff film that's on the dark web? Where else would it be? Yeah it's such a... So confused. The dark web is such like an interesting... I tried reading a book about it and it was so fucking boring. A book about the dark web is like... That's some fucking library shit. You know what I mean? I went to the library and you checked on

on the book about the dark web course you did where else would you get it I mean I because I think like Reddit is too much for me or like you know what some subredits are you just got to find your niche like okay this is not your niche but it's on niche is the run the running subredit is is extremely helpful and extremely supportive and you can get a bunch of information in there and it's like really good. You know what I mean? But then... Is it just like a message board?

Yeah, it's just message boards of like various niche things. But isn't that where all like the dirt bags go to talk shit on everybody? I would assume. Yeah, yeah. But I think there's good in Reddit. You have to end up in their... Yeah, you got to look for them. And then there's like that doxing, which is like destroying people's lives. Tell people where they live? Yeah, yeah. The world is a vampire, Katie. Sat to drain. So Sam kills Whitey, which is still fun to say. Sophia? Sopia kills him. Yeah, well she, while he's yelling at Sam. Yeah. Yeah. Well, the thinks. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th's th's the the the the thing, the the they they they they they they they they they people's like, they people's like, the they people's like, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thing people's like, thing people's like, thruring people's like, thruring people's like, thrown people's like, thri. thi. thri. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. throing people's like, their their their their is still fun to say. Sophia, she kills him, yeah, well she, while he's yelling at Sam. And Sam's like, he wasn't a killer. That's the end of the movie? No, it's not.

Because then there's a standoff with Cat and Sam, and they both have guns. Oh yeah, where did Cat get a gun? She had the purse gun? That was an actual, like, functioning, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, the gun, she, she, she, the gun, she, the gun, the gun, the gun, the gun, she was, she was, she killed, she killed, she killed, she killed, she killed, she killed, yeah, she killed, she killed, she killed, she was the gun, she was the gun, she was, she was, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, she killed, she killed, she was, she was, she was, she was, she was, she was the gun, she was the gun, she was the gun, she was the gun, she was, she's the gun, she was the gun, she was the gun, she was a the gun, she was a the the the tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, thia, thia, thia, thia, she killed, she killed, she killed, she a gun? She had the purse gun. That was an actual, like, functioning gun. She took the gun that had the purse strap on it. She was still there at the house when they found it. Yeah, yeah. Okay, fine.

And Chloe Sevenye is driving up and has her headlights on them. Yeah. As cat shoots herself in the head. Oh, yeah. You know a very sad ending. Yeah. Is that the end? Oh then it goes to the clips of her like being like I am going to win the game forever and I'll be like what are... When did those clips come from? Where did those clips? The game presumably? And then there's also a shot of a of a newspaper with the headline on poor little dead rich girls which seems incredibly tone-de- a newspaper with the headline, Poor Little Dead Rich Girls, which seems incredibly tone deaf for the murder

of like five or six seventh graders, incredibly tone deaf. And it could have been like a deep track on a whole record. Yeah, yeah. Oh, would listen. It's very in Babes and Toyland. Yeah, there's like, so they're going through like all the credits and then like, or not the credits, all the newscasts are talking about stuff and they like start piling up on top

of each other. And then a hashtag, like an animated hashtag appears on the screen that has a gun and that's the end of the movie. And that's where I have the note, in Russia, hashtag shoots you. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Oh, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, their, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. And, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the end of the movie. And that's where I have the note, in Russia, hashtag shoots you. Oh boy. Oh brother. Oh God. And that is hashtag horror.

What is hashtag horror? What is? I'm like, oh, I'm so fucking mad. But is this, like, I wonder if I were 12 and saw this I'd be like oh yeah this all makes perfect sense to me. I don't know. Is this like Drake where I just can't hear the good farts that everyone's talking about? See this is what that's I thought Drake was a joke but so I have a cousin who's 16 she's like the last of our line you know know? And when Unfriended came out, I asked her about it. And I was like, did you see this? What do you think?

And she was like, it was really bad. And I was like, OK, so my touchstone to teens says, that's not good? I'll ask her if she's seen this. I think final note is, the social commentary part was kind of dumb, but their relationship stuff was all right. And I feel like unfriended didn't even have like, like, when they were sitting around and talking about like stuff, I was like, this works. You see, you're, you're cherry picking this like two minute sequence out of a 90 minute

film and you're like, it's fine. There's a pearl in this turd somewhere and I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. It's like, thi. It's like, thi. It's like, th. It's like, thi. It's like, thi. It's like, thi. It's like, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. their. their. their. It's like, their. It's like, their. It's like, their. It's like, th. thi. thi. It's like, to find it. But in Unfriended, didn't somebody put their hand in a blender? I liked that. But the computer made him do it. I think a ghost also hump some dude from behind, too, if I remember, correct. But chubby guy, yeah. My God. That was a bad movie. What did I give unfriended?

What did I give unfriended? than it. You're gonna probably have to go to zero then because I can't imagine it was a... I can't imagine. I don't have Emily's stats handy. We need to keep that spreadsheet pulled up here. Katie, yeah. Do you want to hashtag grape this hashtag movie? Yeah I'm giving it two less than I gave unfriended whatever that was. This is the best yet! So that's my rating. Okay. It's unfriended minus two. I mean like I'm mad right now. Like my I feel like my face is red. It is. So they, the, you were, they told you that this wasn't that bad.

Yeah, I gotta get Amanda. I feel like it was Amanda that said that too, so we'll get her. We're gonna call her right now. This was bad. This was not well done. I'd give it a two. Two less than the zombievers. Zambievers was so much better than this.

It was. The happening was so much better than this. Go ship. All of these movies were better than this. This might be one of the worst that we've done. God Monster. That wasn't even a movie. But it did have that weird sheet monster and it was pretty fucking cute. Yeah, oh he's so sad the god monster. Hmm. Yeah, this is just a really, like, I feel like there's kernels of good ideas in this that are just not well executed. It's very messy, the whole thing is very messy.

It's also just the way it's shot, like it's very spastic and it keeps cutting to these like video screens? What would you call that? Screens? No? Cell phone screens? The words I'm looking for. It's just really like, this movie made me very afraid to have a child.

It seems terrible. We've talked about this before hell, like being a child now seems awful. Awful. What am I going to do? You're going to raise a great kid who's not going to end up like these people. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I mean this is the cautionary tale end of the spectrum. Yeah but these kids get bullied. My kids definitely get bullied. She's probably gonna like the Civil War. Maybe it'll be more of like a my girl situation though, right? Oh I hope so. She had a pretty all right thing except for her best friend. They're afraid. He put on his glasses. He can't see without his glasses. It was my girl my one movie for kids. I don't know. Also. Also. Also. Also. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their. their. their. their. th. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. t. t. t. t. t. te. te. t. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. they., my one movie for kids. I don't know, also her mother is dead.

Her dad's fucking Jamie Lee Curtis. She's in love with her teacher, like her life is not that great. The Sandlot? Sandlot's a good movie. That's a movie where he gets a nice stepdad for like no reason that never happens in movies. Oh. All right, well, I'm glad you pick these movies that are set in the 60s and 70s to help me feel better about the child I'll be raising in 20s, 20s.

Granted, I'm 43, so I'm not watching a lot of like, what are kids doing well nowadays? Nothing, apparently. Oh, that's a cute movie, I like that. Fuck. Well, God, I'm depressed. You really took this movie hard. Yeah, I did. You're gonna have a talk with the ladies' nightmare ladies. I'm gonna get them on the horn when I leave here.

I'm gonna call our party line. Hey, while you're talking to him, yeah. You should tell about Cryptocurium's parcel of terror. Oh, what's that? It is a monthly subscription box. He's send 35 bucks a month to Jason McKitrich at Cryptocurium. And he will send you a box of awesome horror stuff. We've talked about this guys, magnets,

pins, stickers, wall plaques, sometimes a necklace. Sometimes a necklace. Sometimes a soul piece you could make into a necklace. Prints, stories, guns. There's no guns, no guns. No guns. Cell phones. Slendermen.

The time you opened a box and the slender man came out, that was very frightening. But he was like, oh, I'm sorry, you're not children, I have to go now. Yeah, he was like, can you direct me to the nearest little Caesars? Tom Boulevard probably. Is that still there? Little Caesars? I didn't know the dairyairy Queen was still a baby. There's a Little Caesars on my way home from work.

That's all. I look at us when I think I should get a hot and ready. When was the last time you were Little Caesars? Within the last several years? Really? Yeah, because they're not. I think it's's one back there. Right near the Wendy's. The Wendy's, yeah.

Mm-hmm. It's a little down from your Whole Foods. And if you live near a Wendy's, you can get these parcel of terror. You can get the, is what it's called, parcel of terror? Uh, you can get the, is what it's what it's what it's what it's what it's what it's what it's what it's what it's what it's what it's what it's what it's? Is what's? Is what's what's? Is what's what? Is what's what? Is what? Is what? Is what? Is what? Is that? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is what? Is what? Is it's? Is it's the the? Is it's? Is that? Is that? Is that? Is the? Is the? Is the? Is the? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is? Is? Is it? Is? Is? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is the the the the the th. Is th. Is the th. Is the th. Is the th. Is the the the the th. Is the the the the Wendy's? This movie has broken us. There's an Arby's in my neighborhood now. Can I get a parcel of terror? You can. Why did parcel of terror not sound right when I said it?

I don't know. I think it's one of those things you say it so many times. It's just, Jason, you're great. Yeah, you're amazing. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Order the parcel of terror. Join the order of the thin bail. You love Halloween. You need this Halloween stuff. And give Jason all your fucking money.

Every penny you have. Jason's at your door right now with a gun. No, no. Decent's got three children. I think I'm going to speak with him about this. What am I supposed to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do thus. What am I supposed to do? Maybe he has some ideas. Oh yeah, tips. It's gonna be great.

It's gonna be great. I'm never watching a Netflix movie again. Wait, Netflix is completely out now? No, I'm lying. Oh my god. I feel worse right now than I've ever felt after we've done a movie. Oh, no. Oh, boy. What are we doing next week? Hey, EMTsies. This is Alan. I am letting you know what we're going to be doing next week. We didn't know at the time of the recording. So we are doing a guest episode with our friend Emily. Emily will be bringing us the creature

from the Black Lagoon. We're doing a universal horror classic. So it's on Amazon, it's in a few other places, you could drag it down, watch the creature from the Black Lagoon, and come back next week to hear us talk about it with our friend Emily. Hey guys, this may surprise you, but we're actually on the internet. What? Vagely.

We're not very good at it. No. I shut down my personal Facebook account and made up a fake one to run the Weirow Ambulance Facebook page. His name is Wolf Admini, because you have to have a real name now. So try to friend Wolf Admini. I probably won't a weird thafahfahfahfahfahfahfahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to to the. to to to to to to to to to to to I was, I was, what a weird challenge to give them. I had it as where-wolf ambulance and it was like, no, that's not a name. And I was like, wolf-ad-min, wolf-w-w-l-fee, and it was like, that's not a name.

And I was like, oh Wolfad Meany, you don't have any friends. I don't, I don't have any friends. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter. Maybe this movie is about Snapchat. Maybe we don't know because we don't have Snapchat. Is Snapchat a game? I don't know. I'd still take a picture of me and put it on Snapchat once. I was like I don't think I want to be on their their thaged I thaged I thaged I don't thaged I don't thaged I don't th. I don't thin I don't thin I don't thin I don't thin I don't thin I don't thin I don't thin I don't thin I don't thin I don't thi I don't thin' I don't thi thi thi th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't thi I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't thi I don't thi I don't thin I don't thin I don't thin I don't thin. I don't thin. I don't thin. I don't thin. I don't thin. I don't think I don't think I don't think I don't think I don't think I don't think I don't thin. I don't thi. I don't thi. I don't there, please don't do that. But it's gone then, right? It's like a dick pick. Okay. It's like a dick pick. But as far as I know, nothing leaves the internet. Yeah, I mean, because you could screenshot anything. Yeah, yeah. I don't know.

So yeah, find us on the internet. I guess you can email. I like email. And, uh, uh, I, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, the, the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, you, you, you, you, uh, uh, you, th. I you, th th you you you you th, th, th, th, th, th, th. I like, th. I like, th. I like, th. I like, th. I like, th. I like th. I like th. I like th. I like th. I like th. I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, th. I like, thi. I like, thi. I like, thi. I like, thi. I thi. I thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I like, thi. I like, thi. I like Familance Email. I understand it, you know. You comprehend email? It's pretty good. And come back next week. Yeah. We'll do another episode. I bet Emily's episode will be much, I bet I'll be much more positive than I'm being right now. I think so. We had to get out of the 2000 for a little while. Yeah, let's let's take it back in time, hopefully. So thanks for listening to another episode of Wherewell Family. Sorry I got so mad. Sorry I got so upset. Bye.

Hashtak bye. I