Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 137- Monkey Shines (1988)

Episode Date: June 5, 2017

In this week's episode, we're discussing the 1988 George Romero weird chemistry/medical disaster/ill-behaved primate film "Monkey Shines." Special topics for your consideration include: bad science, bad monkeys, bad medical practices, bad shirt fashion, bad boundary-setting for one's monkey friend and bad character development. YIKES.  Did you miss our other episodes about animals behaving badly? Check out Episode 103- "The Fly," Episode 41- "The Last Shark" and Episode 37- "Zombeavers." Have you seen this one? Let us know at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Twitter @werebulance or on Instagram @werewolfambulance. You can also email us for our segment "MAILBAG!" at [e-mail] and if you're feeling super generous, leave us an iTunes rating and review.   Are you into handmade horror stuff? Of course you are. Do you want to get it delivered to you once a month? Of course you do! You can get just that by visiting our sponsor, Cryptocurium, at www.cryptocurium.com where you can sign up to have that sweet handmade stuff delivered to your door monthly via the Parcel of Terror. You can also get into The Order of the Thinned Veil, an appreciation society of all things Halloween that you should totally join. Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast. 

Hey Alan. Hey, Katie. This movie is, wait for it, bananas. I'm just waiting. This movie is, wait for it, bananas. I'm just going ape waiting to talk to you about it. And I think we should get into it without any monkey business. Look, I made a list of monkey puns.

Then I dropped my cell phone. Look at all my monkey puns. I got a bunch of them. I mean, I don't want to make a monkey of you during this episode, but I'm really prepared. I rang a tang and play a ding-tongue. Let's do this. That was great. That was, that you took that directly from my list.

Hi Katie. Hey, Alan, how are you? I'm doing well. Good. Welcome to our listeners for an episode of back. We're going to talk about a movie. That wasn't a very good one. Do you ever listen to Rollins band? No, there's a reason for that.

He had this one song about a monkey on your back, and then he would just start to go on, and the monkey's eyes are your eyes. See, that's why I don't listen to Rollins band. Because he says shit like that. Dumb guy who thinks he's deep? And has for years. Beautiful human being. You mean like physically? Yeah, sure. Emotionally a little stunted.

So we're here to talk about a tourist film for Pittsburgh. Yeah. Is it? It's a good guy. Maybe. Can I read you the taglines that were from IMDB and then from Hulu? Sure, for Monkey Shines. So from IMDB, a quadriplegic man has trained a monkey help him with his paralysis until the little monkey begins to develop feelings and rage against its new master.

Okay, no. But sure, OK. My favorite is the one from Hulu. Yeah. Because I kind of want to see the movie it's describing. OK. Injected with human brain cells, a super intelligent female monkey is enlisted to help a wheelchair bound quadriplegic get on with his life. That's it. That sounds more like a't it? Like a made-for-tive movie.

And then he gets on with his life and then, I don't know, he graduates from law school. Coco moves in, make sure it's everything's all right. Yeah, that's not what happens in this movie either. This, this movie, it is bananas. Oh yeah, it's bat shit crazy. It opens with like a big monkey warning, a pretty serious monkey warning about how like, this might look bad, but we swear to God we're not hurting the monkeys.

And you're kind of like, aren't you? Like, it's, you know, it doth protest too much. Well, didn't they film some of it at CMU? They do testing on monkeys at CMU. So when they're like, yeah, yeah, a lot of this is filmed. Yeah, this entire movie's filmed in Pittsburgh. A lot of it in the Pitt CMU corridor. Where do you think the house was? Like squirrel hill? Oh is it? I was gonna guess greenfield. He's jogging through Squirrelil Hill. Okay. Yeah. Although there's one shot shot where it looks like he's like, yeah, in Greenfield or in like Hazelwood. Hazelwood was going to be my next guess, yeah.

Especially in the 80s before it went so poorly wrong for Hazelwood. Yeah, before I think Uber's there now though. Are they? Oh yeah, they are. Pittsburgh. I also just watched Innocent Blood last night, which was Ladies Nightmare, which if you've not seen it, I highly recommend, but it's basically a love letter to Pittsburgh, so my like Pittsburgh horror movies are a little confused in my mind right now. You sold me on Don Rickles and Angela Bassett. But not Anthony Lepaglia? I don't know who that is. Oh, he's Joe from Empire Records. That means nothing to you. I did watch up our records recently. He's like the manager, you know, the hard nose, but one of the guys. Robert Loja's in that too, right?

Yeah, Robert Loja is fantastic in it. He keeps going, turn off the fucking lights! This shirt is disgusting. He's great. So let's get into this. Yeah. And Tom Savini worked on this movie, so... And it is...

Savini Watch. The pool opens in 12 days. Twelve days to Savini Watch. Yeah, the hose was in the Highland Park pool the other day. Oh yeah. Let's do this. twelve days. Ugh. I think they should shorten the school year so that the life cards can get there sooner. I know. Like what am I supposed to do?

So this movie after the Monkey Warning, we find our star, Alan. Alan? Alan? Is his name Alan? I don't know. He is the Michael of this movie. Played by Jason... I love it. And he's laying in bed with the woman who will be, the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thii. I thi, thi, thi, the Br. I love it. And he's laying in bed with the woman who will be henceforth known as Northern Exposure.

He grabs her butt right away. Wait, was she in Northern Exposure? Yeah, she's like the love interest in Northern Exposure. Oh. You know that show almost broke up my marriage? Can I tell you about it? Can I tell you about it? When we first got Netflix. Can I tell you about it?

When we first got Netflix, it was when you could stream a bunch of stuff, but a lot of it was getting discs, you know what I mean? Like you wanted something you probably had to get it on a disc. For sure. And we had the one disc at a time plan because cheap. Yeah. And Rob got Northern Exposure, season one, disc one, and watched those four episodes on it and then did not fucking send it back For like six god damn months and I was like please send it back. I want to get something else.

Please send it back. I want to get something else. So finally I started taking to social media to shame him about it where I would Scream shot how long he'd had it for and finally I think I reported it lost. Maybe he sent it back. I don't know but it was like a very serious time in our relationship. I'm sorry to hear about that. I know so northern exposure that goddamn moose and all that I just feel like. Yeah. But I think in 2017 where the disc option is sort of almost obsolete. Yeah. Missy still has it. Oh yeah?

And she gets one movie, and then I think just sees how long she can hold on to it before I finally break. It just like sits and waits. Why is that? Why is that? Why is that? I don't know? You just don't want to watch that thing.

I don't know. But then again, there's Amazon who makes you rent shit and watch it in 24 hours. Like this movie came out in 1988, like, this isn't a fucking blockbuster new release that I need to get it back so somebody else can see it. Don't be a dick. Give me more than 24 hours. I have a busy life. One stream. Busy life.

And this movie is epically long. Why is it so long? It's padded out. It's the first like it's a lot of set up for like not a lot of payoff. Or the payoff I don't know we'll get to it. We'll get to it. But so yeah so but grabs right away. But I mean yeah it's literally seen one act one act one, act one's seen one. But then he covers her butt. But then you see his butt. Yeah he's doing that stretch that stretch that that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. to. toge. too. too. too. too. too. too. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. Right. But then you see his butt. Yeah. He's doing that stretch that nobody would ever do because it would injure you. Naked calisthenics? Yeah, I don't know. So aggressive. Then he puts a bunch of bricks in his backpack and goes running. And ankle weights and waist, waist weights and wrist weights. Here's the thing. Later in the movie, this guy, like, this guy becomes a dick, I guess. But I've never, I've never, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. So, th. So, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the thi. thi. thi. the thi. thi. thi. th. N. So, th. So, I guess. But I've never seen him be nice. Like, putting bricks in a backpack and running with them and weights is something a dick does. You know what I mean? It doesn't make him likable. Stretching naked and being like in perfect shape isn't something a likable person does.

Maybe in 1988 it was. No. No. Everyone has always hated people with perfect physique. It's true. Yeah. So it's not like, I don't know. There there there there there there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's no, there's there's no, there's there's no, there's no, there's there's there's there's th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. there's thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. There's th. There's th. There's th. There's th. There's th. There's th. There's th. There's th. There's no thi. There's no thi. There's no thi. There's no thi. thi. thi. It's no thi. It's no thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's with perfect physique. It's true. Yeah. It's not like, I don't know, there's no character arc for him because I think we're supposed to be like, oh now he's an asshole, but like we've literally never seen him be anything else. Yeah. You know?

I think they're banking on you being like, oh, he's a handsome blondeman. And handsome blonde man. someone that I feel for. But he's also a rich kid seemingly in law school, so... Yeah? I don't really like them either. Did we mention that this movie is directed by George Romero? Did we? I don't think we did, but it is directed by George Romero, Pittsburgh Zone. What a lunatic. I don't know what, I mean, I read on Wikipedia that this movie that came out, was only like 50% of what he had written. Oh really? Like there was apparently like 40 to 50% of this movie actually made it into the movie. Okay.

Yeah, like what else did you have George Romero? Yeah, I swore that this movie was written by Stephen King. Yeah. But it's because the- Is it a book? It's a book. It's based on a book by Michael Stewart, who I've never heard of. The poster for this is like the one of those symbol clashing monkeys.

Yeah, yeah. But it's holding a straight razor. Okay, that's scary. And the cover to monkey shot, or skeleton throw, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. the, the the, the theate, the, thi. theat, the, the, the, the, the, the, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeei. theeeeee. the. the clashing monkeys. Yeah. So my brain was like well they're the same thing. Well also like did you connect Shines and the Shining like is that? I mean what is it is that what it's referring to like or is Monkey Sh-Shan? I don't know. I don't know. And I think Romero and Stephen King are just sort of indelibly linked in my brain because of creep show and night riders. Sure. Yeah. So he goes out for his run. He does put clothes on before he goes for a run. Thankfully. Well it's hard to carry a backpack full of bricks in the nude. And then he's running through Shenley

Park. And then he gets hit by a truck because a dog barks at him. It was a really crappy hit too. You like just see him go up into the air and then fall to the ground which I was like, come on, you got Tom Savinie on this, make them a little bloody. Yeah, the very underused Tom Savini. There's like the one hand slicing later on in the movie. And then maybe the monkey prosthetics that we we we we we's. th. th. thine. thine. thine. thine. they. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, the, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, they. the the the the the the the the the the one, the the the the the the the the the one, the the th. the th. th. th. thi. the. th movie and then maybe the monkey prosthetics that we could talk about when those occurred but I guess and there's like a fake brain yeah which I don't think that's what a brain looks like but whatever it did to sort of look like a wad of chewed bubble gum yeah so then we see that he's getting surgerized by Stanley Tucci fucking touch he is great in this he is he is set to full asshole from the get go to the the the the the the he he he he he he he he he he he of he of he of he of he of he of he of he of the he of the th th th th th th th th to th th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's th. He's th. He's th. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's th th. He's th. He's th. He's just just. He's just th. He's just th. He's just th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. He's just just th. He's just th. He's just. He's just. He's th. He is set to full asshole from the get-go. Doesn't care. It doesn't matter to him. He's just like, I'm just going to get with Northern Exposure. That's all I'm doing.

That's what I'm here for. Yeah. Well, yeah, the thing with that is, like, the thing with that is, his girlfriend gives up on him so fast. And like his running coach is like, well, I was his coach. Like, you can start, it's just, everyone's just like, well, he's, he's fucked by. It's really sad. It felt like the running coach was saying, you know he fucked me, right? Oh, yeah, I didn't consider it from that angle. But it was just like, you know, he's fucked, right? Yeah. Also, you're at his party and he's not here yet. Maybe you should have like gone to get somebody should have gone to get him. They like drop him off in the hospital van.

Isn't that so weird? It's very strange. And the guy from the hospital van is just like, all right, man. Peace. Why didn't his mom go get him? Why didn't his friend get him? Jeffrey. Okay, I have so many questions about this movie. All right, so okay, so Tooch gives him surgery, right? I don't know what the surgery is for because it doesn't do any good. Well, we find out later that the toucc isn't so good. Well, they say he did a competent job, but of what I ask? I don't know, but he missed an important thing. He did miss an important thing. But when they're doing that surgery, they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. the. touch, touch, touch, touch, I, I touch, touch, I touch. touch. touch. I, I touch. I touch. I touch. I touch. I touch. I touch. I touch. I touch. I touch. I touch. I their, I t. I t. I t. I. I. I. I, I. I t. I t. I t. I t. I the. I the. I the. I too. I too. too. too. too. I'm tooe. I'm tooe. I'm tooe. I'm tooe. I'm tooe. I'm tooe. I'm tooe. I'm touch. I'm touch. I'm thing. But when they're doing that surgery, what is that plastic wrap that they put on his back? I don't know? I

was thinking it's something having to do with like iodine, like to hold the iodine down or something, but it doesn't, because I don't know, what am I a doctor? I don't know this gets me in the mood right here. That cellophane. They go to the party, everyone's waiting for the, for... Wait, also I just want to say that Stanley Tucci's such a dick. He's like, hey, this guy's got a hairy ass, hey, like, just being... Also, I just saw his ass and I wasn't hairy, but also like... Did doctors really talk like, the doctors, the doctors, the doctors, the doctors, the doctors, the doctors, the doctors, the doctors, the doctors, the doctors, the like that when you're having surgery? Oh, it's the like when I had my vasectomy like I was just like,

but they were like, well you can go under and I was like, yeah, definitely because I don't want to be awake for anybody to do anything. You could be a complete assiolive while I passed out. I hate that. Yeah. Do you give a surprise party to a person who's coming home for the first time that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is now paralyzed and has to readjust to life in their house? No. Okay. No. That was my feeling as well?

With all these people who are so disappointed in them. Like, God, leave this poor man alone. Oh, so he's in a wheelchair that he's basically can move with a sort of a straw mechanism. He's a quadriplegic, right? Quad is four. And his mother has moved in with him, and this nurse who is just like completely fucking useless. She was George Romero's wife at the time. Really? Yeah. Wow. I like that he cast her as a shrew.

Loves that bird. Oh, that fucking bird. Christine Farrist? Fartist? Fartist? Forest. Fartist. Fartist. Farist. Forest. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. He th. He th. He th. I th. He th. I th. I like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like th th th th th th. I th. I th. I bird. Oh that fucking bird Christine forest Fartist Fartist? Forest. Oh I was saying fartist Like artist with an F in front of it Oh, she was a fartist. Yeah as you do in college performance art So they have the party. It's a big bummer. He eventually kicks his mom out of the house. Yeah, she's being way too attentive? And he needs to figure out how to do this on his own or something? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I? I, th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th- I th. I th. I th. I he th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I I th. I I th. I I I I I th. I I I I I I I. I. I I I. I. I I. I I. I I. I I I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi tho tho tho tho tho tho the tho tho the thi thi thi thi thi thi thimer, he eventually kicks his mom out of the house. Yeah. Because she's being way too attentive.

And he needs to figure out how to do this on his own or something. Yeah, and the nurse just doesn't like him from the get-go. Why? If you're a nurse caring for quadriplegic's, I feel like you have to not be so resentful of she's being a bitch. You know, why? Why don't they just get another nurse? I feel like the whole movie would have been solved by just getting a better nurse. You know what I mean? Maybe they really liked bogey. Maybe they really liked bogey. Nobody likes boge. And that scene where boge is like flying on his face later and he can't move is really terrifying. That's really scary.

It's so weird. Why would a bird do that? Yeah, I don't think it would. Just sprinkled like sesame seeds all over his face. So how did you feel about the shirt budget? Tell me what you mean by shirt budget. Well, both his best friend who I call the scientific Elvis Costello, and his soon-to-be lady friend who's the, what is, Melanie?

The farmer of monkeys? I love that she has all those monkeys on a farm like they're fucking cows. It's amazing. Do you notice it? It's a fucking farm. You don't need a farm. I feel like a dead milk by album should be called Monkey Farm. Yeah, would listen. They both have on double buttoned-down shirts.

Oh, do they? Yeah. I didn't notice that. With like one having like a popped collar and then another buttoned down shirt on top of it. It's a good look, I guess. I feel like that briefly came back and it was just like immediately duchy. I don't know. Yeah, it's a, it was a, it really just struck me. I was like, but that seems so uncomfortable. Yeah, my arms.

Mm-hmm. Constricting. So the friend is a scientist. I'm very confused by his experiments. I'm very confused by what he's doing. He's putting brains into monkeys. Into the like just into their legs. Yeah. He's like free free drying them right? And then slicing them like... And then boiling them down. Yeah. Into the solution that he has. That is clearly

mountain do. And then injecting it into their legs. Right. And then the idea is that it's supposed to make the smarter. But it only works on Ella. She's the only only one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one. She's the only one. She's the only one. the only one. the only one. the only one. the only one. the only one. the one. the only one. the one. the one. the one. the one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. their legs. Right. And then, the idea is that it's supposed to make the smarter, but it only works on Ella. She's the only one. Why? Yes. He never figures that out. But he never figures it out, but neither do we. Which is a little unsatisfying. Maybe because she has the monkey shines.

Is that like Danny? I think so. OK, OK. All right, I mean, I'm open to explanations. I think we're going to have to figure this one out together. OK. OK. OK, well, let's get through it, and then we'll go back and piece it together.

I mean, I think be a helper monkey after go. Oh, never mind. I was going to ask a question about experiments, but we'll come back to it. After scientific Elvis Costello takes Ella to her and it's like, hey, can you train this monkey to do that monkey stuff? She's like, I'm super busy, but okay. But I will dedicate all of my time to do presumably. Because like the what happens the rest of those monkeys when

she's focusing on him whatever. I don't know. She does not seem to have an assistant. There's no secondary farmer monkey. No multi-farmer. No no farmer maybe there is a farmer monkey who knows maybe they're getting brain cells. They bring the monkey to live with Alan. How would I forget his name? No that's your name? They bring Ella in to be his helper monkey. She's she. Who. Who? Who? Who? Who? they's? they's? they's? I I I I I I I I I I they's? I they's? I they's? I they's. they's. they's. they's. they's. they's. they's. they's. they's they's they's. they's. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I. I? I. I? I. I. I? I? I? I? I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. they're th. th. th. th. th. th. the. to the. to to to to to to the. the. the. the. the. they're they're they're they're they that's your name. They bring Ella in to be his helper monkey. She's cute, cute monkey, I guess, if you like monkeys. Except when she screams and then she becomes nightmarish. Horrifying. And she's all riled up all the time too. She's got that brain juice flowing through. Yeah. She immediately takes to the job. She's very smart. She also is very into Alan. Hugging starts to to to to to be like to to be like to be like to be like to to to be like. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to the job, she's very smart. She also is very into Alan. Hugging starts almost immediately. Yeah. Which I was like, oh hell yeah I want to hug a monkey. Do you?

Oh definitely. Like a monkey that probably wants to fuck you though? No no no I would not think that that was any sort of situation. Because I think this monkey wants to fuck it. Oh yeah yeah but it felt very much like why one dog that just to be on the the monkey. Oh the the monkey. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I's th. I th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I's. I's. I that's. I that's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I that's. I I I I I I I I th. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. Yeah. Yeah. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I that just wants to be on me at all times. Like, hey man, what's going on? What are you doing? That monkey's just like, hey buddy, let's just do a little hug time. But yes, I think the implication was the monkey. Why to fuck him? And then the monkey, and he become wonky. Wonky. Wunky.

Why, though? Like, he starts to be able to see the world through the monkey's eyes. So he's like running on this monkey cam at night. But why? It's not his brain that's being injected into the monkey, and the monkey's brain isn't being injected into him. I can only assume this is the 50% that hit the cutting room floor. But it doesn't make any sense. Which is probably why this movie did not do very well.

No, I wouldn't think so. I do have the note, monkey hugs exclamation point. Sure, hug a monkey. I mean, like fine. You can do that at Living Treasure's Animal Park. I don't know. Shet theyn' thii. You ever been there? No, I have none. That's pretty good. Pretty good. They got camels, which I'm pretty into. Yeah, they'll spit on you. Yeah.

I think that implication, it gets weird for the hug, because she shuts off all the lights before the hug happens. Oh, right, a dark hug. A dark hug. That's a... And then Melanie just keeps hanging out and shaves Alan. Yeah, she just really takes to him, probably because they look like brother and sister. I do. Also, there's this like weird side plot happening where Stephen Root is the dean of school that Jeffrey is I guess a student,

a research chemist at. He's got the best fake dean name. What is it? Dean Burbage. Dean Burbage. That's a dean name. And there's this conflict where like his research isn't going the way the dean wants and the dean keeps threatening to shut him down and like it just it goes on and on and there's all these there's like at least four scenes about it but none of it needs to be in there. No, except that it doesn't further it doesn't advance the plot in any way. Mm-mm. Because Stephen Root is a big vivisectionist. He's like a monkey masochist pretty much. Okay. And he's got like the mouse he's like I'm testing to see you know what drowning does to mice and there's just a mouse in a water bowl like. What it does is drowns them sir. Come on Stephen Root you know better. I thine th is th is th. th is th is th is th. th is th. th is th is like. th is like th is like the th is like th is like th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the they th th. th. th. thi. th like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like a like a like a like a the the the the the the the the the the their like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th th. th th th th th th thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. He like, like know better than this. Yeah, I do think that if Stephen Root shows up in something that thing just got better I think so so you think they couldn't cut him he was like making a top notch. I think this was his first movie actually I think this was his actual first movie that he worked on. Yeah, I can't remember what the actual his actual first one was but thus the first one he shot. Oh, oh, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, th, thin, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th's th's th's the the the the the the the the thi thin, thi thin, thin, thin, thin, thin,, but this is the first movie that he worked on. Yeah. And he's killing it. And it's weird to see a young Stephen Root. Youngish.

Yeah. He was in Get Out, right? Yeah. And I feel like he's in something else we did, too. Office space. And we didn't do that. Office Killer. Oh, I wish.

He would have saved it. Exactly. So all of that is happening in very long protracted scenes, which are interspersed with long protracted scenes of Jeffrey just talking to himself and to the monkeys? Mm-hmm. And shooting up monkey juice. That was another thing I was going to ask is like what he's just also injecting something into himself? Is it just something?

Yeah, I guess so, because he's staying awake for like three days at a shot. But why does that matter? I don't know. College. I never went to college. I did. I just didn't use speed. I went to college.

I went to college in this universe that they're in. When he comes out of the hospital, that's not actually a hospital it's the building where I went to grad school. Oh yeah for sure yeah they drive off by the Carnegie Library yeah and which is black yeah from all the shit the shit in the air within power washing it yeah because the Cathedral was still black too. Yeah it looks great now yeah they didn't power watch the Cathedral until I was like a student there I mean it looked like shit for a long the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. I think all that stuff is power wash by the time I got here. Maybe. Ten years ago? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, it was before that. Yeah. Yeah, it was a big difference. Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh. Our air quality has improved. So Alan goes back to school to be a lawyer. That the other kids make fun of him or something? I was like a monkey raises his hand. Because he can't raise to to go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah.. Yeah.. Yeah... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was like a- Because his monkey raises his hand for him. Because he can't raise his hand.

Yeah. It's just like not something you laugh at, you know? Seems like fucking law school kids, you know? I wanted someone to go, look at your stupid monkey asshole. Like, just like, just like, really, I don't know. Blatently cruel. But the monkey knew that he knew the answer. Bum, bum. But how?

Because she's very, she's got human brain bits inside of her. But not his brain bits. She also knows not to call Jeffrey when he's there. That's true. I liked that. That was a good trick. And we first see that she's getting vengeful when Jeffrey, who is the Elvis Costello scientist, shoots her up with the juice again,

and then she starts trying to chop his hand off with that like cleaver thing? Yeah, that she has. And this we should all mention is after he attempts suicide and it's very distressing. Yeah. Yeah. Well, wasn't that before he got the monkey? Yeah, yeah, this is all after that. But I feel like that's important because we're supposed to see this monkey as being like a savior

to him. Yeah. Which, okay. thrown. I think he says that like she saved his life. Yeah, he definitely does, yeah. The POV shots of the climbing and scurrying, Ella is fucking around. I like those, by the way. They were cool.

I was like, how do you do that? Do you just put the camera on the ground? Like a little dolly and run around. I was like in the days before a gop-o-o'-tha' that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, Let us know how you did that. You think George Romero's ever listened to this podcast? 100% yes. Really? No. What about Tom Savini? He has to know about it. He does.

People have told him about us. That's so sad. Do you think he's figured out where I live? Because I've definitely described his house from mine. Ella is fucking with Marianne the nurse, putting banana peels and then dead birds in her slippers. Alan is getting more rageful. Is he though? I feel like we're supposed to feel like it's ramping up, but we've never seen him be cool.

Well, you know that he is because he starts doing the thing with his lower jaw where he's going, ah, ah, with his weird teeth? Yeah, it's teeth. Why? Because they're the same, they're wonky. I wish this movie had been called wonky. Isn't it monkey shines an experiment in fear? It is. What if it was called wonky an experiment in fear? Would that make you like it more or less? I'm 100% more on board with that? For sure. And then there's just more POV

scurrying, there's more anger. When does he kill the bird? I like that. Or she kills the bird, sorry. Why do you like the bird death? Because that bird sucked. I'm sorry, but that scene of like the bird fluttering around his face when he can't move is like legitimately, I mean I think the terror in this movie is not a the the the the the the the the the... the the. the the. the the. the the, the the th. the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I's is is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm is th. I'm is th. I'm is th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I is th. I is th. I is th. I. I. I'm is th. I'm th. the. the. the. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. the. the. the the the the the it's upsetting. The terror in this movie is not a monkey mind melding with you and then killing your ex girlfriend. The terror in this movie is like becoming suddenly unable to move and care for yourself and oh yeah for like having everyone you love turned their back on you except for your crazy mom who's bathing you in like a sling and like just leaves you to answer the phone you know what I mean like that's the real scary part of this movie

unfortunately nobody told George Romero that so it's not when Ella kills the touch and northern exposure by lighting the cabin on fire while they're doing it in a they're humping in a way that I was like, you can't hump that way. I didn't, your bits don't match up when you do that. Were you surprised by how buff Stanley Tucci is in the towel and like so hairy? I think I yelled, the tootch when he just gave out in just a towel. Yeah, he looks great. I'm surprised. I mean, I just th you you him as being hunky. Hunky-tuch, per se. And then I would like to touch back on when Melanie and Alan go on their vacation to the farm? Yeah. We're not getting out of this episode without discussing this.

So the monkey's killing people. Alan realizes it knows that she needs to be stopped. Mom gets killed. Defr gets all cut up by the monkey. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. needs to be stopped. Mom gets killed. Deffre gets all cut up by the monkey. She's got a straight razor. She's attacking people with it. Same straight razor that Alan was shaved with earlier. And then Alan kills the monkey.

Yeah, after he summons the strength. Because we have learned that maybe there was something congenital about him that caused him to go paralyzed, not the truck hitting him, which all right. It was just coincidental the long-faced man told him, yeah, which is crazy. So they told him if he could make a voluntary movement, then they would do this spinal surgery on him. Fine. It was basically like, you show me you can do this, we'll take the surgery. Yeah. And he does they he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he and he he and he he and he does. And he does. He he and he does. He does. He does, and he does, and he does he, he does th. He does th. He does. He does. He does. He does. He does. He does. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. He th th th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was the the. He was t. He was tog. He was th. He was the. He was the. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was basically like, you show me you can do this, we'll take care of the surgery. Yeah. And he does.

He does, in the most crucial of moments. Then he's kind of fucking kills that monkey and it's super brutal. In the most brutal way possible. So brutal. I guess that's why they had to give you the big monkey warning at the top. Yeah, but it was also the way a the way the way that a monkey's kill? Yeah, put it in your mouth and shake it until its neck breaks. Interesting, because this monkey just lights matches. Because who teaches a monkey to light matches?

Yeah, I think they should have done a thing where, like, oh, the brains that we're using are all from murderers or something like that. I mean, where do they get the brains? Does they ever say it's just like from some subject? I see them you just have a locker full of them. It's funny because they say a lot of weird shit in those scenes where like, after Jeffrey has taken Ella to be trained by the monkey farm lady, he tells the dean that the monkey has died. And the dean's like, where's the body? I sent the the the th, like, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, like, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, they say, they say, they say, they say, thee thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they say they're they're they're they say thee, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, they're, they say they say, they say they say they say they say they say a student like you just fucking what you put it in like an inner office mail envelope and had your work study carry it over like what are you talking about? He does my

favorite thing where she's like I don't have time to talk about this yeah it just never worked for me an actual life no because why would it? That's not how the world actually works. All right so that's the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's not that's not that's not that's not that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's not that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's not that's not that's not that's not the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi so let's get to the stuff that we have to talk about. Okay, let's talk about the sex scene. All right, let's get the side of the way. I'm glad they showed a quadriplegic sex scene because I feel like that's very... It was beautiful, right? I mean, I don't think intimacy is ever beautiful, as you know. But I think it's important and I threatened, and I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their, I'm their their, I'm their, I'm their, I'm their, I'm their, I'm their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, togu. thea, tho. thoooooo. thoooooo. the. that, thi, their, think it was treated well and it was treated I almost want to say like there was so much compassion in the way that that's a great way to put it however they're just fucking around in front of those monkeys they're just fucking the monkeys are like rising to a crescendo with their screaming yeah what don't fuck around in front of the monkeys.

I don't know. It was weird. I would be like, he got another room that's not the monkey room? Yeah, why? Yeah, no, we've got to do it in the monkey room. Well, they did there because the room was set up to four quadriplegic. Oh, right, right. It's like the testing room. But I like that, like to initiate the sexualse sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual sexual, the testing room. But I like that like it to initiate the the sexual Congress, Alan like kind of like goes in for a kiss and Melanie's like no backs away just starts taking off her clothes. Yeah. But then she's not naked when they're like she still has her flag shirt on. I guess not. Maybe it's cold in the training room I don't know. It's just I, I'm glad that it wasn't comedic. Yeah, for sure.

But, um, man, fucking front of monkeys. They know what you're doing. That's all they fuck too. Right? I don't think exactly. I think, well, never mind. I do remember seeing this movie at some horror movie marathon I was at, in the sex scene, got a lot of awkward woos that I was like, can you, can you not be gross those for a

little bit? Yeah, but it's there, and it's handled well. All right. Now let's talk about the science. All right, let me put my science head on. This guy's science is not good. No. It. It. It. It. It. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It's, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, and I's, and I's, and I's, and I's, and I's, and I's, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th about the science. All right, let me put my science head on. This guy's science is not good. No, it's like drug addict science. It's like, he's just all these maybes and all these injections.

Like, I really don't know what he's doing or why anything is happening. Yeah. So he tries to give the monkey's brains to make them smarter. Right. But it only works on Ella because he says to her, like, you've become so smart I could enroll you in this school, the rest of them are just still pissing on their feet. Why does it only work on her? It's not explained, at least not that I noticed. And then why does it connect to Alan's brain?

Even if she comes to have superhuman intelligence, why does that affect his thoughts? If I had to guess, I would say because she's so into him that she like forms this bond with him, forms this connection. Against his will though? I mean that against his will but... He's also so into her. He's not trying to fuck that monkey. No, not try to fuck that monkey. That monkey try to fuck him him he he he he he he he he he- He he- He he- He he- He he- He's he- He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's thi. thi. that's thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that. that's that. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's... that's... that's... that's... that's... that's... that's... that's... that's... that's... that's... that's... that's... that's... that's... that's... that's that's that's that's that's thi. thi. thi. that that that that that thi. that that that that that's that that's that that's that's thtrying to fuck that monkey. No, not trying to fuck that monkey. That monkey's just like... Yeah, I'm sure we've all been in relationships where that's one side of a relationship and the other side is like, I just want to be friends. Yeah, but when I've been super into a dude, I haven't. Well, you don't have the monkey shines. I don't. You're not the monkey.

I am not the monkey. I guess I'm not. Also, one thing I want to mention is whenever the assistant to Stanley Tucci's assistant gives out the phone number and it's the girlfriend's phone number, why is it letters? Why is it letters? Like it's the thirties I lived in Pittsburgh in 1988 we had fucking seven numbers you gotta call Geronimo 599 I was like what the fuck is this world George Romero do you think George Romero had not used a phone since the third I find it very confusing maybe it was just a way to get around

that five five five nonsens who cares who cares also the thousand the thousand the that. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th you th you th is that that that that that that that that that that that. that. I that. I that. I that. I got got got that. I got that. I got that. I got the that. I the the the the the the the get around that 5-5 nonsense. Who cares? Also when he's yelling for his mom and he... Mother! I could not get the dancing song out of my head. How do you feel about every time Alan gets mad, he turns into shitty De Niro? Oh my god, he does. He would just squintemble like, ooh, oh, I'm gonna fucking rip your skull out. Like, he gets very, very, very gross and unkind.

And I get it, but also like, I repeat, we've never seen him be anything else. So, as far as I know, this dude's always like this. He's just always been like this. Like, he orders a pizza and it comes and like the cheese has slid off and he's like, oh I'm gonna tear you limb from limb, you know what I mean? Like you pizza piece of shit? Honestly. Oh I missed an opportunity to call the pizza shit. You can go back. How about when Jeffrey gets attacked by all the monkeys in the lab? Does that happen? Yeah. I don't remember that.

It's later on in the movie. No. They all go nuts on him. That's not true. That's something else. I don't think that happened. Really? Yeah.

Why do they go nuts on him? Are you sure you're not thinking of an episode? The most recent one I watched was the one about the sludge golum that's killing people in the upscale neighborhood that has all the rules. That was a good episode. Oh yeah, the Homeowners Association one, yeah, yeah. No, I'm pretty sure it happens. Huh, I don't remember that. I mean, it's possible that I just don't remember it, but they don't do of go ape on him. Let me check my monkey pums worksheet here and see what I've missed. Well, maybe they saw her do it and they were like monkey, see, monkey do.

Can I leave them pause of you reading this? Yeah, please. How about the scene where Alan gets stuck on the phone cord? That's a, that is a very weak mechanism to keep somebody stuck in place. It's either the weakest wheelchair that's ever existed. Yeah. And it can be because it has a hundred thousand moving parts on it from what we've seen. Honestly. Or... He moves quick in it too. It's the sturdiest phone cord. That's not how those things. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, th. th. the, the, th. th. the, the, the, th. th. the, the, the, thi. the the thi. thi. the the, thi. thi, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the the, the the, the the. the thea, the thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea, the. the,urdiest phone cord that's ever existed. That's not how those things work. I used to pull those things out of the wall and accent all the time. Accidentally, all the time, weakest phone cord. It's just like you couldn't come up with another way for him to have to be stuck there. He's a quadriplegic. There are a lot of ways. Also it seems like all the house-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-like-s-s, the the the the the the thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-like-s, thi-like-s, thi-s, thi-s, thiolu-s, thiolu-s, thiollion, thiollion, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, ti-s, tine, tine, tine, tine, thi-s, tine, tine, tine, thi-s, thi-s, tha-s, tha-s, tha-s-s-s, tha-s, tha-s. We's-s. We's-s. Wea-s. Wea-s. Wea-s. Wea-s. Wea-s. Wea-s, tha-s, his yelling for like seven and then the doors open or whatever, should probably be on an emergency generator given that like the power goes out.

Yeah. One hundred points per. Yeah. Especially in an old house like that. How about when Melanie gets knocked out by the monkey and then he has to wake her? That's a little harsh. So this is like the final scene. This is like where everything comes to like a tense, ish. Conclusion where the monkey, Ella has killed his mother in the bathtub by throwing

a hair dryer in, which I actually really left. So good. I have a problem with when I'm in the bathtub, one of my cats sits outside the door and just looks at me through like a crack, which I think he might probably go nuts and kill me someday, not out of love, but just because he's a lunatic. This is Enzo I speak up. He looks like a little monkey too. Maybe I should get rid of him.

And so I really like the mother like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like the mother like like like the mother like the mother's death. Mother! And then, what, Jeffrey comes over, and he's got like a syringe full of sedatives maybe? I think it's a kill juice. Oh, it's kill juice. Yeah, because it takes him out. It kills him, right? Is he dead? It doesn't seem clear as to whether he's dead because Melanie goes and checks his pulse,

but then doesn't say anything about it. It was enough tranquilizer to take down a horse? King Kong. King Kong. Yeah. Oh yeah because it was something I liked and not something I didn't like. It was his voice was like slowed down because he was really high and he's like it was enough to take down King calm. And he's giggling too. I should have remembered that. So to to to that. to to that. to that. to to that. to that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. the. the. that that that that thi. thi. that that he he he he he he he's he's he he's he to he to to to to to to to to he. he. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the he. It he. It he. It he. It th. It th. It th. It's th. It's th. It's the. It's the. It's try. It's try. It was try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. to I should have remembered that. So yeah, so she trips Melanie after Jeffrey goes down. It's a really weird shot too. I was like, did she just turn her ankle? Like I went back and watched and I was like, oh, the monkey tripped her. But it happens really fast and it's just a shot of her ankle. I don't know. That Romero thing was like, a night of living dead when the brother falls and hits his head on the tombstone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's calling that back. And Ella's trying to burn Melanie with matches, but Melanie got soaked in the rain so the matches won't catch. Who teaches a monkey to light matches?

It's like teaching your toddler to light matches. They're not that dexterous, like, they're not that that's that's that's that that that that th th th th th true th true th th th th th thrue th the the the the thrue thrue thrue. thrue. It's thrue. It's the. It's not the. It's not the. It's not the. Thea. Thea' the. Thea' the. Thea. Thea. Thea. Thea. Thea. Thea. Thea. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the. the the the their the. the. the. the. the. the. the. teat's teate. teate. theate. their. I's. I's their. thea. But. their. thea. the. the. te. true. You know? They don't have that good of a... They're just not going to get it. It's not for them. It's not for them. And then she pisses all over Alan. I loved that. And then he does that like, oh you mother fucker. I'm gonna rip you the fuck apart. And she's like, eh, ah!

And then there's like a wrecked car out front, which I guess is Jeffries. Yeah. And you see two men go over to and you think they're going to help them. But so they just like loot Jeffrey's wrecked car. And I was like, that's what we do here in Pittsburgh. We don't fucking help you. They're just taking the cigarettes out of the front scene. I guess. So, is that how Melanie wakes up? He runs under her with

the chair? Yeah, yeah. Okay. And he's got, like, he gets his hand to start moving. Oh, right, right, right. He turns on the Peggy Lee that they've been listening to throughout the movie. And he starts talking real sexy to her, come, baby, come c, come close. It's like, ugh. Just taking advantage of the fact that this monkey wants to fuck you. Oh, God. But meanwhile, before this, he's been trying to give her instructions. And she's just like, fuck you, I won't do that. But then when he's like, puts on this music and tells her, come on baby she's like okay it's really weird like

it's just super smart why is she falling for this because she's like finally I guess I'm gonna get some of that that's depressing right unbelievably and she goes in for the hug and then he starts to chew it on her neck and shakes her and breaks her neck and throws her on the floor for a really long time yeah yeah yeah yeah so so so so. so so. so. Yeah. And th so. And th so. And so. And th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th this this this th th this th thi th thus thus this this this this this this th this th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi the the the the the the to the the the the the the the the the thi thi and shakes her and breaks her neck and throws her on the floor. For a really long time. Yeah. Yeah. So, I like that they put the wording in the beginning, but is there a world that you live

in where you think a man for a movie would have broken a monkey's neck with his own mouth? Not, not in modern times, no. So then Alan gets surgery and he's fine. He can walk again. Yeah, which was, like, it was a weird happy ending I felt. Before the happy ending though, there's the surgery scene. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is fantastic. And it was like a Carrie thing in it. I loved it.

Do you want to describe it? It's very, it felt very Cronenberg to me, to to to to to to to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, the, which is fantastic. And it's like a Carrie thing in it. Yeah, I loved it. Do you want to describe it? It's very, it felt very Cronenberg to me for some reason, but- Is that shit coming out of your body? They're doing again the saran wrap on his back and they're slicing him. And when they slice him, then he wakes up and the surgery's over and he's fine and he's walking. Do then da da da da da da da da da da da the music starts. You think George Romero was okay with that? I feel like he like is not into a happy ending. No probably not. It doesn't seem right. No, none of his movies have ended like overtly.

No, they, they, the good guys never really win. Oh well. Oh, but that's a movie. It is mostly. Yeah. About a monkey injected with human brain cells that helps a wheelchair about Matt. Get on with his life. It just isn't. It just, it's so long. It can't be overstated that like, literally the first, I don't know, the first, I don't know, the first, I don't know, just isn't. It's just so long. It can't be overstated that like literally the first, I don't know, hour and a half is set up. It's an hour and like 50 some minutes. It's two hours, yeah. Like one, 54 or something, which is by all, for all intents and purposes, two hours. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. I don't know. Do you want to move on to the... Yeah, it seems like we're, we we're like we're like we're like we're like we're like we're like we're like we're like we're like, I to to to to to to the to to to the to the the to the to the to to the the to to the to to to the to be to be to to their. I to th. I that's like, I that's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the th. the the th. th. thi. th. I th. I two hours. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. I don't know. Well, do you want to move on to the? Yeah, it seems like we're going there. I don't have a good voice for you.

Do you want to tie our swing our way into a ratings face? That'll do. Well, your top banana around here, you go first. This movie is ridiculous. It's for god damn ridiculous. But I've seen it multiple times and I have fun watching it every time. I'm gonna give it a six. Wow. Yeah, it's it's so silly but it's like I don't know. There's something about it that I really, I really enjoy watching this ridiculous-ass movie. And plus now that I live in Pittsburgh and I watched it, I was like, yay, look at all this ridiculous-ass movie. And plus, now that I live in Pittsburgh and I watched, I was like, yay, look at all this Pittsburgh stuff. It was really fun.

Yeah, that is true. So six. I don't think it's that silly. Oh, really? I mean, it's not like, it's not comedic. It almost seems like it could benefit from moments of the levity that levity that having a monkey brings to a movie, you know? Like the Dunstan checks in or whatever. Do you see going ape with Tony Danza? Have I? Yes.

And Danny DeVito? Yeah. Like, you know how those monkeys make that movie so funny? Any which way with, but loose with an orangutan and Clint Eastwood? It's funny? Yeah, great times. This movie doesn't have that, at no point was the monkey used for levity. I don't think. No, this is a very serious monkey. And so I don't, in that sense, I can't call it silly.

And it's way too long. Yeah. And the horror is in the medical aspects and not the killing monkey aspect. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi. thi. thi. thi, thus thus thus thus thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It was was was was was was was was th. th. th. It was was was. It was. It was. It was. th. It was th. th. It was th. It was th. It was a the. It was a the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's a the. It's the. It's a the. It's a the. It. I just think it really missed the mark. Yeah. Uh, three. A three. Yeah. But see then, I think about how unfriended got a five and a half, and I think this is not, this is better.

I think this is better. So it's just like, when are we going to abandon this fucking system? early today that I should just give it a bunch of bananas as a rating. Yeah, why didn't you? That would have been great. But yeah, that's monkey shines. Yeah, it was a movie that we watched. We did. You can't deny that. For you, for you. It's on Hulu, so it's free for me. Yeah, me too. You know what's worth paying for? Yeah, me to that's worth paying for? thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's th. that's th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that's th. th. that's th. th. th. that's the. that's the. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that, Katie? A subscription to Cryptocurium's Parcel of Terror. Oh, that is something worth paying for.

You get so much amazing stuff with it. Really, like what? You love turning it on me. You're so good at it. You get wall plaques. Yes. Like the soul pizza wall plaque or the Egger Al and Poe-Mas Wallback. Or the entire Crypto Zoology collection that I have downstairs.

So awesome. And then you get movie stickers, like the Dream Warrior. And I think Halloween, and just all these awesome movies that you're gonna love to stick up around your house on your notebooks, putting on your trapper keeper. Oh hell yeah, trapperers? I would hope so. Yeah, me too. I want to take one to the video store. Can I take one to the video store? I don't know. I had a trapper keeper when there were still video store. These things are unrelated. I'm old. Yeah for real. But also me too. Sometimes there's pendants. Sometimes there is candy. There's stories. the the the the the the the the the the the t. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I. I's. I. I's. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. tap. Yeah. Yeah. tapy. Yeah. Yeah. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. tap. tap. tap. tap. trap. trap. trap. trap. trap. trap. trap. trap. trap. trap. trap. tap. tap. tap. tap.ants, sometimes there is candy.

Love that candy. There's stories, pictures, art by artists that Jason gets to do amazing stuff. Michael Bukowski and Gene DeAngelo and Sam Heimer. It's worth 35 bucks a month. You will not be disappointed by the parcel of terror. So go to Cryptocurium.com. It's CRYPTOC-U-R-I-U-M dot com and you can sign up there and you can also sign up for the order of the Thin Vale which is an appreciation society of all things Halloween and gets you even more cool shit. Yeah like things above referenced and also like invitations to stuff

and like certificates of being part of something. Yeah they had their first event was was you planting your the that came with the initial box that was sent out for the order of the thin veil. You can plant your pumpkin seed so your pumpkins can grow. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. So if you want to do that, you can also do that on the Cryptocurium website, it's CRYPTO, I UM. K-C-Y-Y. C. C. C. CY-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-U-M. Katie. Yeah. You know what I'm going to ask you. I'm doing fine, thank you. Oh, good. Maybe we should do it in another movie next week. Eh, let's not. Katie.

Okay, fine, let's do the people under the stairs. Done and done. Fool. I can't wait to talk about this movie. Oh boy. So come back next week and listen to us talk about this. Yeah. In the meantime, you can find us on the internet, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Can I read a quick review that we got on iTunes? I would love it.

I encourage you all to write iTunes because they make me happy. Yeah, we appreciate everything to all to write to write to write to write to write to write to write to write to write to write to write to write to write to write to write to write to write to write to write to write to write to write to write to write to write to write to write to write to write to write to write to write the the their to write to write to write to write to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I the the the the the the the the the the the the also help people find the show. And we've hit some big landmarks recently in terms of downloads and we really appreciate it. Yeah, we appreciate everything you guys do for us. God, we love you guys. So with the headline, love it. Yes. Yes. Yes.

K-Fin 87. Give us a five-star rating, which we highly encourage. That's all you can pick. The others are great out. And then K-FAM we need to talk. My brother introduced me to this podcast about a week ago and I've already listened to almost every episode. Oh my god, are you okay? Is your brother doing this to you? Blink if you need help? Katie and Allen are hilarious and I agree with 99% of their critiques. What are you talking about? We're lunatics and we're to to to to to to to to to to their their to their their their their th thi their thi thi their thi thi thi thi f. thi f. thi f. thi f. thi f. thi f. We're thi f. thi f. thi f. We're thi f. We need thi f. We need thi f. tham we need tham we need thi f. We need thi f. We need thi f. We need their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their f. I their f. I need. I need. thi. thi. thi. toe. toe. toe. toe. thi. toe. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I agree with 99% of their critiques. What are you talking about? We're lunatics and we're always wrong. I love sleepy hollow, so that's where we differ. That's where we differ. You poor thing. I'm sorry, I feel like you have, what's it called when someone

stochomes? Stoch Holmes? The episodes are just the right length and I always find myself laughing out loud. Oh, thank you. th. What? What? What? What? What? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi? thi? thi? to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th? th. th. th? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? the? the? the? the? toee? toee? toee? toeat? toe? toe? toe? toe? Oh, keep it up. Thank you. So much. Super nice. God, I can't take that. Why did I read that? Why did you read that? Neither of us could handle compliments? No, I just assume you're lying or that Alan wrote that is like and it's just reading it to me. Who would have just been about how great you are? Katie is so pretty and so smart? But yeah, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th, thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. Oh. Oh. Oh, th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, th. Oh. Oh, th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, th. Oh. Oh, th. Oh. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, that's, thi. Oh, that's thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. to iTunes and leave us a review, at least rate us on there. That would be great. Let your friends know about us on Facebook and the other social needs. Or just tell them, tell them like the year did all the old days when you would talk to your friends.

I got a postcard the mail the other day. It was fucking great. Yeah, you could text them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them their their their thx thx thx thx th. th. te th. te. te. the. th. to the. to to the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to let th. th. to let th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. Let the. Let's the. Let's the. Let's the. Let's the. Let's the. Let's the. Let's the. Let's the. Let's to let's to let's to let'swolf ambulance and then don't, don't tell them what it means. And make them look into it themselves. You know what I mean? Try this. Text them, hey, you up? And then text them, where will you tell you? I like that. I like that a lot. Because I'd be like, well, yeah, I am. What the fuck the fuck does that mean? And then they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll th. And they'll they'll th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And thi. And the. the. the. the, thi. try. try. try. try. try. Try. try. try. try. try. try. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. t we get that search engine optimization or whatever. I just don't understand it. Me neither. Whatever. We'll do another episode, this is what we do. So thanks for listening to another episode of Wherewulf Ambulance. Bye. Bye. again.