Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 138- The People Under the Stairs (1991)

Episode Date: June 12, 2017

This week we're discussing the 1991 Wes Craven creep-out film "The People Under the Stairs." Special topics for your consideration include: the sheer number of 90s movie and television stars in this movie, the confusing and often unintelligible lyrics of Pearl Jam, Ving Rhames and his potential political office, the horrors of gentrification and some talk about the classic film franchise "Mannequin." If you missed our other movies that take place in scary houses, check out Episode 64- "The Haunting," Episode 83- "Paranormal Activity" and/or Episode 85- "House on Haunted Hill." Have you seen this one? How do you feel about it? Let us know at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Twitter @werebulance or on Instagram @werewolfambulance. You can also email us for our segment "MAILBAG!" at [e-mail] and if you're feeling super generous, leave us an iTunes rating and review.   Are you into handmade horror stuff? Of course you are. Do you want to get it delivered to you once a month? Of course you do! You can get just that by visiting our sponsor, Cryptocurium, at www.cryptocurium.com where you can sign up to have that sweet handmade stuff delivered to your door monthly via the Parcel of Terror. You can also get into The Order of the Thinned Veil, an appreciation society of all things Halloween that you should totally join. Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast.   

Hey Katie. Hey Alan. How are you doing? I'm all right. How are you? I'm doing pretty good, but I could use a little extra scratch. A little extra cash in my pocket. Some wool.

Some cabbage. Someagull. Some cabbage. Some gabagull. Some chattahah. Yeah, money. Yeah, money. It's not like meat?

It's, uh, yeah, capicole. It's like a smoked ham. Do you want to help me rob this house in the suburbs? Oh, for sure. I'm always up for a robbery. All right. Let's watch this movie about a house robbery and then and then we'll see if we want the the the that I'm looking at. In and in. What movie you got? I have people

under the stairs by Wes Craven. You're saying it was such sadness in your voice. Why? Is Ving Rames not enough for you? Is it totally abusive Ving Rames not enough for you? I mean, he's funny? I like when he just go, well, here we go. I like that there's like a five minute period where he's just saying weird, sexy shit. Like two, like 11 year old kid. To a child. To a thirteen year old, because he says 13, too old to get too young to get ass. What does he say about becoming the secretary secretary secretary secretary secretary secretary secretary secretary secretary secretary secretary secretary secretary secretary secretary secretary secretary secretary secretary secretary secretary secretary secretary to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be a th. thu. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. thi. thi. I hea. I hee. I hee. I hee. I hee. I hee. I hee. I hee. I hee. I hee. I he. I he. I he. I he. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the the the the the the the the the th. I the th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I the. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm th. I'm just just just just th. I the. I the. I thi. I the. I thi. What does he say about becoming the secretary of pussy? Maybe the president is going to make me secretary of pussy.

Oh, yeah. Thanks for listening to another episode we'll know. Bye. So yeah, we're going to talk about the people under the stairs by Wes Craven, 1991. The cover of this movie? Yeah. Is like the cover of Fright Night, they're the same. Did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did that, did, did, did to to to to to to to to to to to get to get to to, to to to, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, th, to get th, to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get thi? to get to get thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi, to thi, thi, thi, thi, Wes Craven, 1991. The cover of this movie? Yeah. Is like the cover of Fright Night, they're the same.

Did you notice that? Yeah. This was number one in the box office, the weekend that it opened. That's crazy. But what really blew my mind was that it was number one and it made $5 million that weekend? Geez. Like, number one movies now? Like, the the, did, did, did, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, did, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the five million dollars that weekend? Geez, what was it up against fucking nothing? Like, number one movies now on a weekend make what, like $300,000? Or $300,000? Nope, $300,000.

They make $300,000 in a weekend. That's big money. But it's just like... Also like, what is the number one movie the box office right now? Do you have any idea? I'm sure a superhero is punching another superhero in it. I bet, yeah. I saw a movie this weekend and all the trailers were superheroes again. I'm, ah, yeah. I mean, I do a podcast about superhero stuff, but I'm like, I'm not a fan of movies. Each one, after each trailer, I was I, I that a superhero? And Rob was like, yes, be quiet.

I'm trying to watch alien. Oh, did you see alien covenant? Kind of event. Covenant, yep, I saw it. Good times? I mean, it was fine. OK. Yeah.

Rob loved it. So for those of you who are following Rob's tastes. It gets two Rob thumbs up. Yeah. How do we talk about the people under the stairs? We can talk about the things I like that these actors are in. Like the Sandlot? Who's in the Sandlot? Who's in the Sandlot? Okay, he's also in the cake eatilines, but I do know that he's been- He just calls Rich Kids Cake Eaters.

We'll be adopting that. It's great. It's pretty good. Cake eater. He says it was such a derision. And Rayann, I fucking love Ray-Anne from my so-oh-yeah. Yeah. One of the biggest heartbreaks of my life, my very, very privileged life is that, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that that series ends with no season or series finale. Right, they don't tie it up. They are, they just, it ends with them not being friends.

Oh, yeah. Look what it did to Jared Leto. Yeah, he never learned how to read. It was super sad. Oh, he's going to Mars now. Is he? Is he? thii

Yeah. Thank God. That motherfucker will not age. I don't care. He's my age. Is he? Wow. Yeah. We do not look the same. Well, did you look like Jordan Catalano when you were in your early 20s? Oh, okay.

You're that good lean? Real good lean? Could you read? Yes, that's the problem? Are you brain? Isn't that that to Brian Cracko. Holy shit. I think I need to start on my so-called life fancast.

Oh my god, the shit. There's only like 20 episodes or something, so I can get it in and out real quick. Also, set in Pittsburgh. Oh my so-called life? Oh, yeah. No, no, this moviethis movie's in Los Angeles. This movie is most definitely in Los Angeles, where real estate development and gentrification are the true horrors. Did you recognize Ruby? Fool's sister?

I did, but I don't know what from. She's in your favorite movie. What? What? Yeah, fuck, yeah. She's the diver. Yeah. She's the diver. Yeah, I kept thinking she was from like a 90s sitcom because she had sort of a 90s

sitcom attitude about her. Yeah. Yes. And that's really, oh and then the couple is from Twin Peaks, but who cares? Yeah, have you been watching that new Twin Peaks? I haven't and I saw a still from it that made me think I'll never watch it. Really? Yeah, because it was Michael Syra dressed up like Marlon Brando. What I I I I, I don't, I'm gonna walk away from this right now, and now I haven't. I love the original like season of that show so much.

Sure, the first season. I never even made it through the second season. It's bonkers, it goes off the rails. Yeah. Though the last episode is worth either. It's great. Okay. But I just don't, I'm weird about going back to things like that. Like when bands get back together like 20 years later and like we're back and it's like, okay. Yeah. Although I did watch the first episode of the new mystery science theater and enjoyed that. I haven't seen that either.

Yeah. You got to get some TV watching and how do I watch a Twin Peak? You need the show time. Fuck, I'm not going to do that either. No, so you're probably just going to steal it on the internet's. Eventually. I mean, you're not going to do that. No. Oh, shak. A comp gas. Yeah. In City Slickers, three, the legend of theory that Missy and I came up with while we were watching this. Okay. This is an urban fairy tale.

This is a children's story in the tradition of the early Grimm's fairy tales that are fucking brutal. Very brutal, for sure. So this is like a children's fairy tale not for children. Yeah, that makes sense. It's swashbuckily, it's like it's ridiculous. Yeah. None of the characters make a god-dam like a sense. None of their motivations are clear. No and like and the the poverty that fool and his family are in is like Willy Wonka

level like. Like I was like is this what West Craven thinks an urban environment is like? Where do you live West Craven? One thing I really liked about like where they lived is that fool the full the full the full. the full. the the the th. the th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I th. I th. I's. I's. I's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's like. I's like. I's like. I'm. I'm like, th. I'm like, like, like, th. I'm like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. I'm like, like, the the th. I'm. really liked about where they lived is that Fool was surrounded by books. Okay. And I was comparing this to Candyman with like the depiction of black people in Candyman. Was very much like, your lives are just bleak, destitute. Like, it was very much like the suburbs looking in on the inner city. Yeah. And this movie was almost the inner city looking at the suburbs.

It almost like flipped that script. Okay. And was like, oh wait, the suburbs are dark as shit. You white people are doing weird-ass shit out there. Yeah, especially these people. I'm totally working on stitching a children should be seen and not heard sampler for my child's room. That was a thing that I heard when I was a kid.

Oh for sure, but did your parents put it on a sampler and hang it in your bedroom? No. No. No. No. I had this adorable one that I wish I still had, which was like a little kid at a cowboy costume, on a stick, like a stick, a stick, thinne. Jesus. Hey, anyone out there who does cross stitch? If you can pull one of those together for Alan, he'd really appreciate it.

But make the horse's head of the werewolf ambulance. Oh no. We are 138 episodes in. We've got to have nailed it by now. God has turned his back on us if not. So, Fool's family is getting evicted. Right. And his mom's so sick. She's so sick.

So sick. She's got all the, she's got the cancer inside of her. She's got the cancer. His sister is a prostitute. Yeah. A tarot card reading prostitute. Yeah, we start off with a tarot card reading prostitute. Yeah, we start off with a tarot card reading scene. I hate tarot cards, I think.

I don't know why. You know what, I've only had them done once at a bachelor party. And the woman was basically like, you're going to find a new love. And I was like, well, I'm married. And she was like, and you should quit your job. I'm self-employed... You need to stop flying planes. What? Yeah, that I will do.

Because I am Harrison Ford. His sister's friend is Ving Rames, I guess. Seeming, I mean, it is Ving Rames for sure. Well, yeah, but I can't figure out why he's in their apartment. I don't know. There's a lot of people that I can't figure out like that older gentleman later. I was like, is that your grandpa? Like, who is that guy? I think he calls him his grandpa? But the, he also says something like, oh, when I was a kid we wouldn't walk by that house, but like,

you know, those people weren't born yet. Because you're a grandpa. Ving Rames is like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like I I I I I I I I I I like like like like like like I like like I like I I th. I's like I's like I's like I's like I've like I've like I've like I've like I've like I've like I've like I've like I've like I've like I've like I've like I've like I've like I've like I've like I've like I've like I've like I've like I've like I've like I've like I've like I've like I've like I've like I've like I've like I've like I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I've like I I've like I've like I've like I've like I've like I've like I've like. I've like. I've like. I've. I've like. I've. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've heard. I've th. I've heard. I've heard. I've heard. I've heard. I've heard. I've heard. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th but I need this 11 year old or 13 year old 13 13 to come help me steal it right why it's tiny you can get into the small places gotcha and he also has a friend Spencer the white guy sure who they refer to as the white guy like he thought he was white before so they're trying to get to get into this house where these people live, and these people look like, the people in the Sound Garden Blackhall Sun video. The woman looks like that, for sure.

Nadine's eyebrows just keep getting more insane. And then when like... Nadine from Twin Peaks, obviously, sure. Or I'm sorry, mommy, as she's known in this movie. Let's just call her woman, because I do not want to refer to them as mommy and daddy, if that's okay. These two characters refer to themselves as mommy and daddy, even though it's quickly told that they are brother and sister. Eh. So Nadine and Ed, as I'll refer to them.

That's fine. And they live in this, I don't know. It looks, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it looks, it looks, it looks, it, it, it looks, it, it looks, it looks, it looks, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, I th. It th. It looks, I th, I their family for generations. It was a funeral home? Yeah, it was a funeral home. I guess it doesn't, v. v. Vah, blah. It's full of secret passages. Why? Because it is. Because they're crazy.

I kind of felt like it was like kind of playing. I try to kind of play, like, theyn't, like, the to the like the urban fairy tale kind of like lets that stuff slide like of course Of course they have an oven big enough to put a kid in sure You know like that kind of thing of course every room has walls that you can get behind it to get to other rooms Oh man how much would you would like to live in a house that had that not? No, no the monsters? No, no? No, there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's monsters. There's monsters. There's monsters. There's monsters. There's monsters. There's monsters. There's monsters. There's monsters. No, there's monsters. there's monsters. there's monsters. the monsters. the monsters monsters monsters monsters monsters monsters monsters monsters monsters monsters monsters monsters monsters monsters monsters. the monsters. the monsters monsters monsters monsters monsters. the monsters. the monsters. their their the monsters. the monsters. the monsters. the monsters. the monsters. the monsters. the monsters monsters monsters monsters monsters monsters monsters. the monsters monsters monsters. the monsters monsters monsters. the monsters monsters. the monsters monsters. the monsters. the monsters. there's monsters. there's monsters. there's monsters. there's monsters. there's monsters. there's monsters. there's monsters. there's monsters. There's monsters. there's monsters. there's monsters. there's monsters. there's monsters in there's monsters in there's monsters in their their their their their their their their their monsters in monsters in monsters in their. their monsters in monsters. their monsters. the monsters. their monsters. their monsters in this movie, there are monsters that live in there. They are the people under the stairs. And they are not necessarily the bad guys. They are not the bad guys at all. Well they have some bad tendencies, like cannibalism. Well, there's that. And there's Roach who lives in the wall. Yeah. I remember Roach's tongue being very, very, very gross. thoin. I remember. I I I I I I I I I I I remember. I I I r I remember. I r I remember. I r I remember. I roach. I remember I remember I remember I remember I roach. I remember I remember I remember I remember I th. Yeah. I remember I remember I remember I remember I remember I remember I remember I remember I remember I remember I remember I remember I remember I remember I remember I remember I remember. Yeah. Yeah. I remember I remember I was like th. I was like th. I was like th. I was like th. I was like th. I was like th. I was like th. I was like th. I was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, oh, oh, oh, th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I was like, I was like, I was like, th. Yeah, th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm th. I'm the th. I, very, very gross. My mind was blown that that's Ray Ann. Yeah. I could not get over it like.

Yeah, Rayan. She was like, oh, you recognize her right now. I don't. She's like, that's Ryan. I was like, fucking Rian. I was like, oh, uh. Love Rian. She's the to be right, right, right, right, right, right, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I could not that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I could not. I could not. I could not. I could not. I could not. I could not. I could not th. I could not th. I could not. I could not th. I could not. I could not. I could not th. I could not. I could not. I could not th. I could not th. I could not th. I could like probably two years. She goes from being a child to a teen very quickly. Okay. And she's great in this movie. She's a very, very sad character, Alice.

So we learned that this couple has been stealing children and trying to make them into like members of this perfect family. And the boys, like, every time they fuck up, they get mutilated basically and put under the stairs, but she has figured out how to like appease them so she can like live in a bedroom wearing old-timey dresses and sewing dolls. She just doesn't sass back. Yeah. She's amazingly fast at sewing dolls by the way. I sure can't make a doll quickly, says my nose. Like, where'd you get the fabric that literally matched Vingraim's as hot? I love the like the Spencer doll.

So Spencer goes into the house, well, Fool tries to go into the house first as a Boy Scout. Right. Or a Bear Scout. Right. I do think they called a Bear Scout. And not to get sued by the copyright of the boys' scales. Cub skels, I guess, yeah. So he, and Nadine quickly shoos him away. And then Spencer's like, I need to come in and check the gas meter.

I got this, I'll do this. Yeah. But he doesn't take off his skull ring, which always take off your skull ring. But you've had gas men come to the house before the house, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, the house, the house, the house, the the the the the the the house before, right? No, I don't answer the door. I've seen these movies. I'm just saying a skull ring would not seem out of character for that, I wouldn't think. That could be. But she immediately identifies him, takes him into the house, murderizes him.

Well, he gets scared to death, doesn't he? Yeah, he seems to get scared to death. Yeah, he sees the people to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the th he's all, he's even whiter. Yeah. What scares him, the people under the stairs? Yeah, he sees the people under the stairs. Not enough to scare me to death. I don't know, are you sure? Yeah, I mean, they have the most perfect hair. They do look like a grunge band.

Their hair is the least filthy thing ever. That's true. I like at the end when they're like, we gotta let them all free. And it's like, yeah, definitely let these people lose. They don't need like help. They need to be just like running amok. They've tasted even flesh. They're cannibals. And then they all just like lurch away, like it's a goddamn thlar video. It's pretty good actually. There's a couple them they look like they might have been the in the Billy Idol Dancing with myself video. Oh I don't

know if I've ever seen that in my life. You should it's really cool. I'll look into it. I'll watch it. It's like a threadbare punit-beaugh. Fair enough. It's quickly set up like even beyond the fact that their child murdering, mutilating monsters that this couple are awful, awful human beings. Sure. Like they're dropping emboms. They're beating poor Alice. Yeah, they're just, they're not there. Can we talk about how quickly he gets into that gimp suit?

That's like a gross bondage thing, right? Is that what Gimp suit means? Yeah, yeah. I mean, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, thi, th, this couple, this couple, this couple, this couple, this couple, this couple, this couple, this this couple, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, Is that what gimp suit means? Yeah, yeah. Okay. That's what, I mean, I just, I think I call it the gimp suit because of pulp fiction, another Ving Rames vehicle. I've never seen pulp fiction. I know that's like a weird thing to admit, but I've never seen it.

Why is it a weird Tarantino fan? He seems fine. I'm not like a fan boy. Or, no? Well, you know, I feel like people who like him really like him. I don't feel that way. I just saw Secretary of Pussy get in my notes. I thought you were going to tell me that was a Tarantino movie called Secretary of Pussy. You're like, oh, I just saw a Secretary of Pussy last week seems right doesn't it? I'm gonna do a political thriller guess what it's called. Secretary of Pussy. How many times can we say

secretary of pussy? It's such a broy thing to say. It really is. Just keep saying it. Oh yeah the Kim suit like there's so many straps that thing but he seems really just walks into a closet and walks back out with like there. You're gonna have to stretch that and do you know what what what what what the the the the. the. th. the. the. the. to. the. the. the. to. the. to. the. to. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. they. I. to. to. to. S. S. S. S. S. to. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. S. I's. S. S. I. S. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. to. the. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the closet and walks back out with it. Like, there's a bat pole in there. You're gonna have to stretch that into, you know what I mean? I have a hard enough time putting on a pair of leggings made of like cotton and spandex. Because it's not easy, you gotta get in there.

I mean, latex. as being the size of Detroit, which I really liked. That was Fool. Full has the best lines in this movie. That's great. And I think this is his first movie, this child. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. He's 37 now, by the way. Wow. What's he doing?

Is he working? Is he working? I think so. Yeah. Good. His name is Poindexter, by the way. Why is that his name? Maybe they wanted him to be smart. I guess. He is. He's very precocious. So Fool and Vingraims end up getting stuck in the house. Yeah, it goes into lockdown, basically.

And Vingraims gets shot. Right. And Alice helps Foole escape into the walls. Right. With roach. This is where, at first, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is, he is he. He is he. He is th. He is th. He is th. He is th. He is th. He is thi. He is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi. He is the walls. Right. With Roach. This is where, at first I was like, imagine just firing shots into your own house. With a shotgun. Doesn't care.

Does it the whole fucking movie? 400 times. 400 shots are fired. But is it a critique on the suburbs that no one is calling the cops? I don't know, I guess. I mean it's completely impossible. Right, because if you heard gunshots outside. I'd call the cops. Ring a dang ting, yeah.

Yeah, because I'm a narc though, too. But also, this has one of my favorite horror movie troops of the completely useless cops, because the cops are in this movie. They are in the driveway. They're inside eating cake and doing tea. Oh my god. And we th. And we th. And we th. And we th. And we th. And we th. And we tho. And we tho. And we tho. And we're tho. And we're tho. And we're to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the cops. the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops. the cops. the cops. the cops. the cops. the cops. the cops. the cops. the cops. the cops. the cops. the cops. the cops. the cops. the the the the the the the the the the the the their the their tho. tho. thooooo. thoooooo. thoooooops. thoooops. thoops. thoooops. thooops. thea. oh yeah. Oh my god and we're to believe that like they don't notice these people are crazy. I know. How do they not notice the chocolate holes in the wall? How do they not notice any of it? Any of it? How does having a basement full of people not stink? I mean having people under the stairs having that many people under the stairs seems like it could be a lot of work? It's just a big commitment? to to to th to th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to thi to thi to to to to to to to thi their their thi their thi their their they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to te. to te. to te. to te. to the. their their their their their their their their the stairs, having that many people under the stairs seems like it could be a lot of work. It's just a big commitment.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And also why are you... so they're feeding the people that they kill to the people under the stairs. Yeah. But yet they're throwing the uneaten bodies into that pool that's down there as well. Right. Like, how many people are they killing? Is that your question? I mean, it feels like you're not using all of the meat from your murder. Sure.

Sure. And those guys are like, they don't look particularly hungry either. They're all pretty buff. They've got that beautiful hair, luster, nice sheen. And how many, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there's, there's. It's just, and how many, there's like, how many people do you think are under those stairs? Would you guess? At least two full bands worth. Sure, so like eight to ten, eight to ten.

So eight to ten, we'll call it nine to eleven because we're including Alice. Oh and roach makes 10 to 12. 12, yeah. So at least about a dozen people have gone missing and are still alive. And then all these people have gone missing and have been eaten. Right. How the fuck have they not gotten caught? How the fuck have they not gotten caught? I think it's supposed to like, people don't get in trouble for stuff. And it's kind of like hitting that like,

they're kind of getting the past because they're like well-to-do. Yeah, OK, I believe that. Yeah. How do they not get caught? You figure they took that DuPont down for killing a wrestler. They should be able to take down. It's true, you're right. Wow, good reference there. Yeah, DuPont, Delaware.

Fox Catcher? Is that what it's called? I think. Yeah, yeah. Steve Corral with the nose. What? He had like a fake nose in the movie. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm suddenly do not know what I'm talking about. I love waiting into a conversation and be like, I got this.

Oh shit, I gotta make a left turn. And then Homer, Homer Simpsoning back through the hedges. Um, so fool is running around the house. Um, so fool is running around the house, would you say? Getting chased by that dog? Oh yeah. How you feel about that dog? I don't like it. What do you think I think?

Dogs like that, I just feel like are bad guys. I know, don't email me, don't say anything. I know breeds are not specifically bad. But German shepherds are cop dogs and what is this, a Rottweiler? That's an attack dog. And like, Dobermans are bad guys too. Is that what we saw in your portrait? You're like, it's dog so great. And I was like, fuck that dog.

It's nicks bubbles. That's just, that's like getting a tiny dog and naming it like killer. You know, I just, you're just mocking the dog the dog the dog the dog'm sorry, please, don't I don't want to hear about it. How did you feel about the shoehorned, like desert storm stuff that was in here? Remind me of it? There's like, Roach is watching the footage of the bombings in Desert Storm on the TV. I mean, it's's 1991. It's an ongoing thing, you know. Why weirdly like time stamp that? Yeah, I don't know.

And then they made like a scud and missile joke later on. I was like, did you show me the the footage of Desert Storm so the scud and missile joke would fly? Maybe. And like why bother setting that up? I don't know. I don't know. This is very strange. I mean, a lot of things don't really make any sense in this movie. No, they don't. So Roach, yeah, Roach helps fool get away from the dog and get away from the man. And the people under the stairs.

And then he gets shot, right? It does. We like, I I I I I I I I I I the, I the, I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho' tho' thi thi tho' tho tho tho tho tho tho- I tho- thi thi thi th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thiiiiaaa thii thi thi thi thia thi thi thi thi thi thi th the people under the stairs. And the people under the stairs. And then he gets shot, right? It does. We like hardly knew Roach. I hardly knew ye. And also in my memory of this movie, Roach played a much bigger role. Yeah. He dies pretty soon. He's big when he's on screen. Like he's owning that screen. Yeah, they should have left Roach around longer. Yeah. He says creepy-ass-f Yeah and crazy eyes. And no tongue. Zero tongue. Then fool punches the man in the dick. In the best like he just comes running out of a trap door screaming and runs up and like right in the nuts. Pops them right in the dick. So Ed from Twin Veaks is comedic gold in this movie. Yes, he is nonstop pratt falling. Yeah, he does take a lot, a lot of bumps. It gets a brick to the face, he gets punched in the nuts.

It's real homilony. Yeah, it is. But again, I think that's feeding into that like children's story sort of like, punch him in the nuts. Yeah, that's fair. Kids love punching people in the nuts. I mean, everybody loves seeing somebody get punched in the nuts, don't they? It's like all YouTube is. It's all America's Funniest home videos.

It's true. Grandma fell down, somebody got punched in the nuts. Is YouTube just the new America's Funniest Video's Funniest video? 100%? A lot of it. Anyway. Yes, I'm sure America's Funniest Video has for that too. Bob Saggett's edgy, you know? Bob Segg hasn't hosted that show in 25 years. No.

And I don't think he particularly dislikes Jews. I think that's Kramer. Sorry I mixed up my tall comedians. Yeah, that's fine. Oh, and there's the scene where daddy has his bayonet on his gun and he stabs it through the wall thinking that he's killing Fool. Yeah. But Fool's been wrestling with the dog, Prince.

Fuck that dog. And it throws the dog up where he knows the knife is coming next, because fool is a very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. thi. the. the. the. the. the. thean. thean. thean. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. thea. thea. thea. thea. the. the. Very, very smart. And he kills the dog. Yeah, I liked that. Yeah. I was wondering how you felt about a dog murder, but. I think I was OK. I think I was OK. I think I was OK. I mean, the dog is weird because earlier in the movie, the dog, it's the dog.

the dog, the too' the the the the the the the the the the the the the using the door. Yeah. But the shock runs through fool, through Ving Rames and knocks the dog unconscious. And I was like, how did it knock the child unconscious? That child weighs less than the dog. Is it a thing where like electricity will just like go until it finds an out? So you're kind of fine if you're at like. Is that true? I think that's like, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, that's, that's, that's, the.. that's, the. the. the. the. the., like let's say I jammed a pair of tweezers in that electrical outlet,

I should grab you and I would be okay and you would be fucked. I think, well, I mean, it could also be like, because they're rubber, they were wearing shoes with a rubber soles so they'd be grounded. What does that even conducting into the floor. What happens if they get conducted into the floor? That's when you get electrocated. Once you're a conduit for like the electricity is like coming back out of you, I don't know. I have now literally done that thing that you did right off. I don't think it's a lot.

My father was an electrician. I think you can, like, they're creating a chain for the electricity to go to, and like the last link in the chain is the dog, so it's gonna get the brunt of the... Really? I think so. Hey, do you guys know how electricity works? If so, get at us on a Facebook. Honestly, I would love an explanation and I'm not going to explain it just now. I think trying to work your way through something is not dumb.

I appreciate that. No problem. Don't tell me about the dogs either. I don't fucking care. I just want to know about electricity. I don't care if you have a Doberman who's super sweet. I don't care. That's fine. I just don't want to hear about it. I have an orange tabbybybybyby tababababababababab their their their their their th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I just th. I just th. I just don't th. I just don't want th. I just don't want th. I just don't want th. I don't th. th. th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. Don't th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. Don't th. I th. I just don't th. I just don't th. I just don't the. I just don't to tell. I just don't tell. I just don't tell. I tell. I just don't tell. I just don't tell. I just don't the. Don't the. I just don't th. I just don't want to hear about it. I have an orange tabby, he's an asshole. Like, look, animals are monsters. We all know it. We invite them into our homes.

And then we clean up their shit and let them stay. And they would starve to death if it was not for us. And we're like, please, let me get that for you. Who saved who, who saved whom? bothers me also. Getting mad at pets. So fool gets out of the house. He jumps out a window into a pond. He jumps into the pond they have in the backyard. Which we're told later he then drains and fills with broken glass. At least that's what they're guessing he would do because he's that kind of guy, right? No, Alice says that's what he does. She can't jump into it because he has drained it

and filled with broken glass. Yeah, yeah. So Fool gets back, he's got the gold coins because Roach has given them to him, because Roach had them. Okay, yeah, why? I don't know. This is when we meet Grandpa, and he gives us the low down on the family. And it's basically like, yeah, they've, for generations, they've been messed up,

they've been inbreeding and their weirdos, and basically don't go back to that house. And he also says that this is enough money to pay their rent until the year 2000. And I was like I I I I I I I I I I I I I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like like I was like like like like like I was like like like I was like like like I was like like like like th like fuck I was like fuck I was like fuck I was like fuck I was like fuck that that that th fu th fu fu fu fu fu fu fu. F like fuck th. F like fuck th. F like th. F like th. F like th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, yeah, yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi th. thi th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. fuck, that was 17 years ago. Fuck. But who are you going to pay it to? The people you just stole it from? Like, it gets very convoluted. It does. Yeah. I guess they don't know.

I don't know. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. But he told Alice that he would come back for her. Right. And so he feels an obligation to go back and make things right. And so he does. He leaves. Yes. How does he get back, how does he sneak back in? There's something inventive, but I just don't remember. Oh, so he calls the cops. And the cops go and search the house? He sneaks in because the cops left the back door open. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So, the. So, the. So, the. So, the. So, the. So, the. So, the. So, the the the the the. So, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the th. th, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. the the the the the the the the the the cops go and search the house. He sneaks in because the cops left the back door open. Right, right. And he hidden a cabinet until everybody goes away and then he climbs out of the cabinet. And then he tells Alice that she's not their daughter that she was kidnapped.

Which means they must have taken Alice when she was like a legit baby. Yes. It's so fucked up. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, it's just like, yeah, it is. Yeah, this movie, like, that was the thing about this movie, being like so ridiculous and homilone. And it's just like, but at the root of it, it's disgusting. But then also, like, the abuse of Alice is crazy. Like putting her in that hot bathtub is like impossible to watch. Or like when the woman says to the man,

like, remember not to bruise her face, you're just like, oh my God. Right, and you, yeah, and the implication is that he's just not going to, it's not just going to be a beating that he gives to her. Yeah, I love the hot bathtub scene for one reason. Because you're a creeper? No. Because you're a monster? Because the foliwork is just like boiling witches cauldron.

It's very stressful. It's very distressing. Yeah. It's really, I mean, yeah. Yeah, it's awful. It's horrible. So Fool has snuck back in to get Alice. At this point, you think the movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the the the the the the the uck back in to get Alice. At this point, you think the movie should be over, and then you realize there's 45 minutes left.

It's like, oh, we're going back in and doing it again. And literally, they go back in and do it again for a while. Which seems totally unnecessary. I liked it. Did you? Yeah, because I liked it when Ruby shows up, and it's just like giving them the business business business business business business just feels like a lot of the scenes that happen between Fool going back and Ruby showing up are just repeats of scenes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. But so Ruby comes to like get Fool out of the situation.

She brought Grandpa and everybody from the projects with her. I love that. It was just wonderful multicultural group that had come to like shut this family their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their her. I love that. It was this wonderful multicultural group that had come to like shut this family down. Just on their lawn, just fucking there. And it's just like this murmuring like, hey, yeah, no, fuck this. People suck.

And it's like, what did you tell them to get them there? Like, obviously it's, you know, if they live in the building, if their landlords, although we're told that they're the last holdouts in the building, so I don't know who those other people are. It's also established that they own like hundreds of buildings in the city. That's right, that's right. They're like notorious slumlords. Okay, right. So I guess they were just like, hey, let's go fuck them up. But with our words. Fine. And then just there's there's this cavalcade of homilonian like

ridiculousness that like dropping a brick down the chimney into Ed's face and then they drop down on top of the woman. Yeah Alice jumps down and like kicks the shit out of her and then later stabs her. And the people under the stairs get her too, right? Yeah. She gets, she takes a lot of violence before she finally crooks. And the people under the stairs have shown themselves to be like helpful to fool and they show him where the money is. Right.

Which is in a Scrooge McDuck room full of coins and crumpled bills. Like this man seems like the kind of person who would like count and stack his money, you know? Also, but like you'd think these people would have a peephole. They don't have a peephole. Like when Ruby knocks on the door, they'd just open it. It's like, well, you guys have been doing this for a really long time. What are you doing? It's 91.

You should have a full security surveillance system set up. Honestly, you could have a closed circuit camera for like not that much money, and I know where you can get some. It's crumbled on the floor of your basement. But this is enough money to set everything right. Right. Forever, until the year 2000. It's also kept with a box of dynamite. Where else you're going to keep your dynamite? Apparently, throughout the entire house

because it's revealed that he's set bombs up through the entire house. Yeah, it's convenient. And this is really a movie about like convenient timing to like every time something bad is about to happen somebody just gets in and saves the day, you know? Yeah, for sure. So, Daddy, using the shotgun, blows up the dynamite, and himself, Fool has escaped with monies, and then all the money that was in the basement rains down on the neighborhood, and the people under the stairs have gotten out earlier.

And they're just wandering through the crowd. They like do this thing where they come out and they like look both a ways to make sure nobody sees them and then they just like wander into the street. And when you think about it, that's horrifying. Yeah. What are those people going to do? They have no tongues? They have no eyes, some of they have no eyes. And some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, and some, and some, and some, and some, and some, and some, and some, and some, and some, and some, and some, their, and some, their, their, their, their, their, they're, they're, they're, they're, their, their, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, their, their, their, their, their, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they're, and they, and they're, and they're, and their, and their, and their, and their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, no eyes, I think, and some of them have no ears. Because there's a very see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil, Evo. Problem, Devo, speak no Devo. You should, at the very least, call child protective services. Yeah. Get somebody down here.

They need a surrogate, a coordinator to come down and take a look at these kids. They're gonna need a team of their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're theya. they're theya. they's. they's. they's. they's. they're they're their. their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. they. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. t. t. t. te. te. they're te. they're they're they're they're their. they're they're they're they're they're their down, and take a look at these kids. They're gonna need a team of therapists. Because they are not children anymore. They are grown men, seemingly. They're not the children under the stairs. That's all I'm saying. Did you watch this movie with subtitles on? No. I did. Tell me about it. Sure. The main person under the stares, his the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the of their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. t No. I did. Tell me about it.

Sure. The main person under the stairs, his name in the subtitles, Stairmaster. No, it's not. Like, the machine that you put at the gym and then you hate yourself on? Stairmaster! Is that his name in the credits? That I don't know but I was like good move subtitles I'm proud of you. That's I'm checking IMDB while we're talking

while we talked here. I like I want to believe that it isn't the name from the credits and that the person who did the subtitles was just like this guy's the master of the stairs. I need to identify him somehow. How about that that thing that fool fool fool fool fool fool fool fool fool fool fool fool fool fool fool fool fool fool fool fool fool fool the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. I'm th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I thi. I'm. I'm. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. th. th. th. th. th. th. I is. I is. I is. I is. I is. I is. I is. I is. I is. I is. I is th. I is. I is th. I is. I is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I th. I the. I the. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. th. th. I'm. th. th. I'm. the. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. somehow. How about that thing that fool concocted immediately to trick the dude into coming into the money room? Where he set up that candelabra with all the coins stuck in? Yeah, that was really good. So as they burn down, they'll drop out and make clinkings. I just found that to be unrealistically good. Realistic because he did it like it's another one of those things like how did you get that gimp suit on how did you make that candle coin things so quick and the

And the it's the kennel wax is melding so quickly it just doesn't make any sense no his name is stare master. Stair master and the uh. There's the other two credited stare people are stair person one and stare person too. I really wish the thigh master. Yeah, that's Suzanne Summ. Yeah. Yeah. the. the. S Sue. the. the. the same. S. the the the the the the the their. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S, their person. S, their person. S, their person. S, their their their th. Yeah. Yeah. their their their their their their. the. W. the. the. the. W. th. W. W. W. W. W. W. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah.................. master had been in there. Wow. Do you remember the thigh master? Yeah, that's Suzanne Summers. Suzanne Summers. Yeah. So the last note I have is money rains down and the stair master is free. Yeah, I mean, that's really what it is. The father's killed in the explosion.

The mother has been killed by the people under the mother has been killed by the Pumont of the stairs. She's like a little Piper Lorry and Carrie, don't you think? Oh very much. I like that. I like that turn. But dress like, she's from the 40s. Yeah. Like in this weird, like, she had like the, the like, um, like lady painted on the side of a W-2-W-2 like fighter, like bomber, like hair and stuff. Yeah, very pin-up girl hair. But there's a way to put that to. No, I like the way you said it first, but just like with more conservative clothing. Yes. How was Fool okay in that explosion? That kid can take whatever whatever's being thrown out. I guess. So he got out of there with money. Yeah, so everybody, everybody wins. The good guys too win. What happens to Alice Alice? th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th their their there there there there there there there's tho that there's there's there's there's a there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's their their their their their their their that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I tho. I thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. The good guys too win. What happens to Alice then?

I would say she goes to live with Fool and Ruby and Grandpa. They are straight up like we're calling an ambulance for your mom right now. And I was like, what? No, it was tomorrow morning I'm gonna call an ambulance for your mom. You know they service all night. It's not fucking Chinese delivery. She's sleeping. My God. Well, I hope she gets better. Good, good luck Mrs. Fool. Mama Fool. Katie. Yeah. I was trying to think a way to work what a fool believes into this, but. I'll wait. Do you want to move on to the ratings phase?

Sure. All right. Since you're top and that, no, do you want to go first? Since I live under the stairs. Sure, of West Craven films. This is definitely one of my favorites. Oh yeah. It's no Dream Warriors.

No, it's better than that. It's no vampire in Brooklyn. I have never seen that. No, I've been thinking about that movie a lot lately. For some reason. No, you've never seen it. Eddie Murphy is a vampire. What?

I would watch that. Wes Craven has a good sense of humor, had a good sense of humor, I I I I I I I I I I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I've, I'm, I'm, I'm, I've th. th. th. th. that. that. that. that, I've that, I've that, I've that, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thee. thi. thi. thi. thi. No, I've thi. No, I've thi. Funny guy. Funny guy. Because this movie, while super fucking bleak, like stealing children mutilating them and keeping them in your basement, or like abusing them to the point of just total submission, is so fucking bleak. It's so fucking bleak. But then it's also like, this movie's charmingly funny. There are so many good one-liners in this movie? Yeah. I mean, Secretary of P has we've dropped many times. What are you going to censor it now? I reached my little saturation. Yeah, that's fine.

The dialogue was so, like, fun, that at one point I was just like, you know, why couldn't he write this shit for Freddie? It's true. Why did Freddie have to be such a dumb, dumb? This is definitely in my top five West Craven movies. Yeah, it's just, and I think comparing it to last week's movie to Monkey Shines, which had such comedic material to work with, but didn't make any of it funny, whereas this is like not fucking funny at all and it made it funny. Also, I read on Wikipedia that Universal Studios Florida incorporated some of the films plot as well as the house into a haunted house several times for their annual Halloween horror nights.

And I was like, that's super fucked. But then when I think about it, it's like, okay, that makes sense. It was like, it was, the people were so shitty and yet you still are like, you find them almost charming and weird in like a sick way. so cartoony. So so like. So like, so like, so the the the people. So like, so th, so th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the the the the the the the the the th. So. So, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. thi. thi. the the thi. thi. thi like a sick way. So cartoony, so everybody's on 11. Yeah. Like Ving Rames is just over the top. Yeah. I really, this is not the movie I remembered it being.

I'd only seen it like once or twice before. And I do think that they could have cut some of the running around of the house because it just goes on and on and on. But I really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really I really I really I really I really I really I really I really I really I really I really I really I really I really I really I really I really I really I really I really I really I really I really I really I really I really I really I really I really really really really really really really I really really really really really really really really I really really really really really really I really I really I really really really th th th th th th th this this th this this this this this this this this I this I this I this I this I th. I this I this I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th I th I th on. But I really enjoyed this movie and I am going to give it a seven. Whoa. Yeah. Nice. I think people should see it.

For sure. Yeah. I also really enjoyed this movie Katie. It is, yeah, it's everything you said. It's funny. It's got like, it has a good heart, but that heart is just wrapped in awful. And somehow it still comes out. Okay, yeah.

Which I think works like to its advantage. I'm going to give this a seven as well. Nice. Again, our rating system means nothing, but we both enjoyed this film. Right, so this is a yes. It's funny too because last week we were being so pissy about Monkey Shines having a happy ending and then this has a happy ending and we're like, no that's good. No, that's great.

We're happy about this one. I, yeah, I think a happy ending where a kid didn't get murdered is probably like, it's probably like, it's probably like, knocks it up in my end. Sure, but like a happy ending where a quadrplegplegia that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that level, you know? Oh, where doth my empathy go? That's a good question. Yeah, this might be my favorite West Craven movie that we've done so far, too. So what have we done?

Scream? And Nightmare and Elm Street. Is that it? I think that's it. We haven't done a deadly friend yet, which I really want to do at some point. Okay. That's a movie where Christy Swanson is a robot. Oh, no, that's Mannequin. No, that's the one where she's a mannequin. Wait, is Christy Swanson and Manican? Yeah, she's Mannequin.

No, that's, um, what's her face from sex and the city? That's mannequin two. I'm not gonna to hold on I'm looking it up. I don't need to be right about this, but I sort of do. All right. So I was like sort of right. Kim Kattrall. Oh, why couldn't I think of? All I could think of Kim Novak, weren't you? No, I was thinking of Gracie Law from Big Trouble Little China. I was thinking of Gracie Law doing here? God, I love that movie.

So good. Stay out of it, Rock. Oh yeah. You know what the rock should get into? Tell me, Baywatch? Oh, wait, too late. A Baywatch sequel, even though this one's doing really poorly, they're looking for it.

God, movies today are such garbage. Like what, I know you were seguing and I just basically took a shit all over it. But like what are we doing, honestly, what are we doing? As a culture? Yeah. We're in a rough patch where everything just has to be a reference to something else. Why is TV so good and movies are so bad? I don't know. Maybe it's like an eviviv maybe the TV will get bad again and then... For a moment I was like, who's Evan Flow? And then I was like, oh, even flow. He falls to earth like butterflies. Is that what the line is?

I don't know. That's what I think it is. It try to think of them. Not to derail even further, but my favorite for that is yellow lead better. Yeah. Where he definitely has the line, because I've looked it up, I can't tell if it's a box or a bag. But if you could tell me where he's, because he goes, it's just, it's just burglies. He's just burglary. What their. It's just, it. It's just, it. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's just. It's just. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just just just just just. It's just. It's just just just, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the? Drugs? Yeah. At least Bush had the decency to make their lyrics intelligible if they weren't going to make any sense. I am a... I had shame for it for a while, but I was such a big Pearl Jam fan.

Were you? Oh yeah, that first album? Fucking killed me. Yeah. I've never really been a pearl jammer. Yeah. It hit me th. th. th. th. th. school when it came out. It just really. You had that angst. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know what else will hit your sweet spot? Ah, so much better. Stick it in there. Uh-huh. What? I'm sticking in the segue. I know. What? A subscription to the crypticurium parcel of terror? Tell me about it. The parcel of tear is is is is is is is. the the the the the the the the the the the their is. their is. their is. their. their. th. their. th. th. th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's just just. It's just. It's just. It's a th. It's. It's.. Tell me about it. The Parcel of Terror is super cool. It's a box that gets delivered to your house once a month for $35 a month, and it comes every month for that same $35 because inflation doesn't exist in Cryptocurium's world, and you'll be glad for it. What's in the parcel of terror? What's in the box? Have we made that joke before? Probably, yeah.

I really want him just to do one that's just quit with Feltro. If we can get Jason, OK, Jason, if we get you 50 new subscribers this month, will you do a special edition parcel of Terror that's just going with Paltrow's head. Let me know. Email us, okay. A special goop edition. God, what a terrible human being that woman is. Honestly.

Honestly. I read Sir something she said recently where she was like, women always have a harder time when they're talented and attractive. And I was like, fuck you! So with a parcel of terror is a monthly subscription box that is full of cool, handmade, horror stuff, magnets, plaques, stickers, stories, prints, candy. The candy's not handmade, but you do what you can. Sometimes there's weird stuff.

Once we got a backpack, once we got a dog, it was a raw whiler, and I was very upset. And I thought, I didn't even think you could send living things through the US Postal Service anymore, but Jason's, but I........ I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm the they. they. thi, I'm, and I'm thi, I's, I's, I's, and I's, and I's, and I's, and I's, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I's, and I's, and I's, and I's, and I's, and I's, and I's, and I's, and I........... the the the the the the the the the the th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. thin, the the the the the the the th the the the the th the thinks, the the threats, the U.S. Postal Service anymore, but Jason's email sent us a roll. I was like, you can just cancel your ads. I don't know why you have to do this. Like, why are you trying? It's weird. But it probably won't happen to you. It probably won't happen to you. How do you get the parcel of terror? Quick giggling. You can't go on a seemingly cocaine-fuel rant and not expect me to giggle. That's fine. You go to Cryptocurium.com.

CRYPTO, C-U-R-I-U-M. Also I have a pile of cocaine. And sign up for the parcel of terror. While you're there, you're going to want to sign up for the order of the thinned veil. Tell me about that. It is a multi-tiered celebration of Halloween. You sign up for multi-different tiers on how deep you want to go into being a member of the Thin Vail. I like that.

Something for everyone. Yeah. So, there's like an intro level and the stuff they're making for it looks gorgeous. Go into the order of the Thinvale's Instagram and look at the stuff that's coming with it. It's fantastic. You're gonna want it. You can also get that at Cryptocurium. that that thawn. And that's Jason and Sam Heimer that are doing that and they're gonna knock your socks off. Sam will probably not send you a to the today. I I I we do next week? Katie, we've spent enough time languishing in the 80s, flirting with the 90s. And in the 50s when a creature from the Black Lagoon. Let's go back to the 2000s. Why not? It's our comfortable hatred place.

But let's go back to the 2000s with a remake of a film from the 70s. Tell me more. It's called Maniac. Oh, got that Elijah Woods. Frodo. Literally until a minute ago I thought his name was Elijah Woods. And I just feel like... Did you think it was James Woods, son? No. I think I just said that Pittsburgh thing where you pluralize everything that isn't meant to be pluralized, like Aldi. Have you ever heard anyone say yinzes?

You just pluralized a plural. He pluralized a plural. It was wonderful when I heard it. But then interestingly, we don't pluralize or possessive eyes, things that should be. Like people say, I'm going to watch the Steeler game. It should be Steeler's game. I'm just paid attention to that one. Yeah, just that one. Palomalu?

Yeah, he is a stealer. Probably not anymore. Not anymore. No. But we're not going to talk football because I don't know dick shit about football. But we are. You do great job.

We are going to talk about that. Yeah, Elijah Woods. Yeah, maddened. It's on Hulu if you have Hulu. I don't know if it's anywhere else, but I'm sure it is. I'm sure it is. Come back next week when we talk about that. You want to tell them about the internet? Find us on the internet? You can give us a rating or review on iTunes which we really, really, really, really, to really appreciate. You can to us on Facebook, Instagramelling us that our ads are doing well.

Oh, I just switched to it because I'm Wolfad Meeney now. A couple of you have friended me and I was like, I like went to accept them and I was like, no, Wolfad Mini needs to accept your French request. But good sleuthin. Yeah, well I did tell them. Good sluiffin. That's the kind of sluiffin I want to do. Yeah, Wolf had meany. All right, so catch us there, catch us next week,

we're cash us outside. I don't know. I even said that? How about that? I think so. Guys, we're on the internet. We're gonna go listen to the weekend with only two E's instead of three. Somebody got mad at you about dragging the weekend. It was somebody I like to, I forget who. I think we... And other things the kids do. Thanks for listening to another episode of Wearwolf Ambulance. Bye.

Bye.