Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 143: Teeth (2007)

Episode Date: September 24, 2017

It's real! Vagina dentataaaa! This week we are taking a very serious look at the very serious problem of having teeth in your vagina with the 2007 black comedy horror film "Teeth." Special topics for your consideration include: the surprising things that do and do not make us squeamish, "Brads we have known, the theory of evolution, lessons on sacramental wine and the shock of horror movie teens actually doing what they are supposed to do. Have you seen this one? If not, you probably should before you listen to this episode. If so, what did you think about it? Let us know on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. You can also email us at [e-mail]. Like to hear us talk about weird sex stuff? Ew, of  course you do, you're a pervert. If so, there is only one episode you need to hear: Episode 51 - "Hellraiser." Get it and all our old episodes at werewolfambulance.libsyn.com, on iTunes or wherever you like to listen to podcasts.  Hey, you know who else is back? Our Cryptocurium sponsorship! You know them, you love them: the makers of the Parce of Terror, the best monthly horror subscription box out there. For just $35/month, you can get amazing handmade horror art, artifacts, stories and more delivered to your door. Sign up now at cryptocurium.com!  Werewolf Ambulance is a Horror Movie Comedy Podcast.

Uh oh, uh to try to to introduce this one that wasn't gross. It's gonna be gross. Hello and welcome to another episode of Wearwolf Ambulance. I'm Alan. I'm Katie. We're here to talk about horror movies. We couldn't think of any way to introduce this one that wasn't gross. How do you... Oh God, I can't even. It's... I mean, it's gonna be good. We're here to talk about the movie Teeth from 2007.

What a delightful movie this is. I have some is is the is thiash with it, but we can get to that. Oh really? I thought it was just like a fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to the that. Oh really? I thought it was just like a fun filled romp through a magical world of teethy vaginas. Teethy vaginas. So you guys should definitely watch this before because I guess I don't know. I mean it depends on how squeamish you are and whether or not you have a dick. Get him in early get them in often. Dick. Dick. So this is a movie about a woman who is very Christian. A teen woman. Who is working with her best friend, Kel to try and save the hamburger joint. No.

Who is a teen woman who is part of the... It's the silver ring thing, but they're calling it something else. Yeah, yeah. The promise or whatever. They're saving the virgin. They're... they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their they're their they're they're their they're they're they're their their they're they're they're they're they're their their. they're they're their. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their their their their their tha. They're saving. They're saving. They're saving tha. They're saving. They're saving their tha. They're saving. They're saving. They're saving their their their their their they're who is part of the it's the silver ring thing, but they're calling it something else. Yeah, yeah The promise or whatever they're saying they're saving their virginity Because God's gift and all that shit Did you ever know those kids or were you ever one of those kids? I was not ever one of those kids? I was trying to bone as soon as? I was try and bone as soon as possible when I was a kid one? the drunk. the drunk. the drunk. the drunk. the drunk. the th one? I was the th so th so the th so th so the th so they th so they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're s they're s try. try. I they're saving. I'm they're saving. I'm they're saving. I'm they're saving. I'm they Oh yeah. Because my friend's mom was the receptionist at the church, and so she stole her key to the storeroom and we got into the wine. It hadn't been blessed yet, so it wasn't Christ's blood.

Non-sacromanal wine. Yeah, super drunk. Pretty fun. to have any real alcohol in it. Oh no, it's just boxed wine. That's hilarious. Yeah, I think it was Franzia. And then I imagine the priest praying over Francia, which is hilarious. Sweet baby Jesus.

Please best bless this box of Francia that I got here in front of me. Yeah. I wish you were a rosé. Yeah, these are just the hijinks that fucking awful people hijinks isn't that's a fucking awful term for what happens in this movie. Yeah, hijinks is not, no. I read a review of this that was like, it was like, this is a movie about a woman who has to deal with men's uncontrollable urges and I was like, that's not what this is about. No? I mean it's about dudes. It's about th. It's about, it. It's about, it. It's about, it. It's about, it. It's about, it. It's about, it. It's about, it. It's about, it. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. That's a thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to too too tha tha-a. tha-I tha-I tha-I tha-I tha-I thi. thi. raping her, trying to rape her. Like, that's not an uncontrollable urge. Oh, I see.

Well, she's can't control it, I guess. They should be able to control it. Until she can. Until she can. So she has never, she's basically joined this sect of Christianity, because she knows there's something wrong downtown. Does she? I guess she does? Yeah, she's like there's something wrong with me. She's never had anyone toucher down there. Okay. Except for in the opening scene when her stepbrother does. Oh right and she bites

is the tip of a singer. She does. She's like four. Fucking Brad. Fucking Brad. Fucking Brad. Fucking all these guys. The other guy is just known as Bill, or boy? Does he have a name? The guy, the garage, the guy who lives in the garage? I don't know, it doesn't matter. Um, so she, she's the super Christian, she finds this to be as well. Fucking Toby. We watched this movie at Ladies Nightmare when it was on Netflix, maybe a year or so th. or. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah as well. Toby. Fucking Toby. We watched this movie at Ladies Nightmare when it was on Netflix maybe a year or so ago.

And we were like stunned by Toby's heel turn. Oh yeah. Toby and Dawn are protagonist. And they're two friends. Gwen and Phil, which are like intentionally nerdy names. Sorry if those are your names. Take a Jeep ride out to Lover's Point, after they go to the movies together. Making out in the movie theater too, Gwen and Phil. Yeah, Gwen and Phil. I'm surprised by that. Who's a nerd now? I don't know. I always hated making on movie the ticket, you know. I always hated making out movie the ticket ticket ticket ticket ticket ticket ticket ticket ticket toytoytoytoyt. thia thiater. I. I thiater. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to the ticket, you know? I have never made out in the movie theater. It's never too late.

It probably is. It is playing. You can go make out during that. What if you were like sitting by and people who are just like, mn, mn, whall-a-wo while a killer clown like attack children? What do you think of them? Come on. I love yelling at people in movie theaters. I wish I had the ability to do that. It helps that I'm six foot two at 300 pounds.

I feel like I'll just get punched. So they go to this make-out point and there's like a waterfall that you can swim over to. Yeah. And they point that out, which will be revisited later. So not a lot happens in the beginning of the movie, up until the Toby heel turn? No, yeah, basically we're just seeing her and Toby, like, they have too many feelings for each other and they agree that they shouldn't see each other because the temptation is so strong in purity they need to maintain their purity.

We also find out that he's not a virgin. Right. But he's stronger now because he understands the temptations. Doesn't he say, uh, I am in God's eyes? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that means butt stuff, right? I would think so, yeah. And we've also already seen some butt stuff, and it's been through a pair of jorts, which I thought was just very strange. Oh God.

And you see some dudes wan of dick in this movie. You want to see some dick. You can watch this movie. Some fake dick and some real dick. Some attached and some unattached. So in the heat of their passion, Don and Toby go up back out to Love's Point. And Dawn's having those like, I want to but I shouldn't kind of feelings, which are totally understandable. She's 16 or so, so yeah. And unfortunately, Toby ain't having it. Yeah, Toby, this is his heel turn. Yeah. And she's been like jowing to wedding fantasies, I just want to point out.

She also wraps herself up in the, uh, the fucking sleeping bag that's in the fuck cave? Why would you do that? Well, did you notice when she was picking up, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, the the the the the fuck cave? Why would you do that? Well, did you notice when she was picking it up, there was a huge white stain on the back of it? I did not. Oh, God. She's also wearing the most hilarious bathing suit. It's like a modesty suit with like a square neckline and a little skirt on it, which

I really liked. When she picked that up, I said, how cold do I have to put me to be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be be the the the the the the the to put me, be the the the to put the most, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, the most the most, to put the most, to be, to be, the most to be, the most, to be a to to to to to to the most the most the most, the most, the most, the most, the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most, the most, the most the most the most, the most, the most, the most, the most the most the most th thi. thi. thi. ttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttthe thia. thia my god, why would you touch that? I guess she doesn't know any better, right? Oh come on, that's just common sense. I don't know, maybe it isn't if you're an abstinent. Is that a word? It is now. If your brother is scumbag bread, you know the jizz is flying everywhere. He, first of all, fucks with his boots on and second has the most delicate little nose. Did you notice that the w wo the w. He th. He th. He th. th. th. th. th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I t. I's tine, tine, tine, te. I's te. I's te. I's te. I'm teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeea. I'm thin. I'm the. I Did you notice that? He had the world's prettiest little nose. Huge long eyelashes, too. He was so pretty. I feel like I knew a lot of like Brad's in high school, like guys like Brad. He was the prettiest.

Yeah, with those stick-on tattoos? They were really funny. He just had like such luminous skin too. He was like a very pretty man. And they were like, let's make this guy, whatever. Our dirt bag. Yeah. Our one of many dirt bags. Yeah, right? The only man in this movie who isn't a dirt bag is her dad.

Or her stepdad. Yeah. So Toby starts raping somebody? I guess? That's where this movie, you're just like, I can't fucking believe this, you know? It felt so trauma, because it was just so like humor at the grossest places. Yeah, the most inappropriately, yeah. So, and her vagina dentata rips his dick off. Yeah, and it's laying beside their. There's, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, th. There, th. There's, th. There, th. There, th. There, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. I, th. I, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, that's, that's, that's, that's, that, that, that, that, that, th. Yeah, and it is laying beside them. There's like a really a thing I really liked about that scene is like he they're both screaming you know what's happened without seeing it he's screaming He's screaming cuts back to him screaming cuts back to her screaming cuts back to him screaming

like it's his long protracted scene of them both screaming and then you see his like destroyed nubin genitals. And I just think that's really like it's just the way it's drawn out is really good. Yeah and then it like the camera pants over his severed dick laying on the cave floor like... Just... Which leads to a fucking hilarious scene later. Well, crab dick. And I have the note, Severnus, always funny. Always funny, I guess. Always funny. So she runs away and he dives into the water.

Yeah, and that's the last we see of him. And so now she needs to go get checked out by the doctor? Well, it's, you know how, like in these movies you're always like, oh my god, just google, se, se, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, the the the the the the the the the th. It's, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's the the the th. thus, it's, it's, it's, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, the the the the the the the the the th.... th.. th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's th. It's th. th. th. that, that, that, that the the the th the the the th the the the the the the the the th, you know how like in these movies you're always like, oh my god, just Google this, like figure it out and Google it. I have a note where is the internet? Yeah, but then in the next scene she's on the internet. And then I was like, oh my god, kid get yourself to a doctor. And then in that like can't help themselves. She does everything you're supposed to do. She's just slow enough on the uptake that you're getting mad and then she does the right

thing. Right, right. And we should mention that her mother is also dying of cancer this whole time. Yeah. Because that will come back. And her mother and her stepother Brad is a grosso. Yeah. Also did you feel like his room just smelled so bad? Oh yeah, yeah. Just smelled so bad. Oh, you know without a Rottweiler in a cage? Well it just smells like bonwater. That's not the bad smell I was imagining. No? Just like feet. She's smelling feet.

She's smelling feet. She's smelling feet. She's smelling feet. Oh, she learned all So she goes to the gynecolors. She learns all about vagina dentata on the internet. Yeah. And she's really into Greek mythology as well. We learned earlier. She's reading a book of Greek mythology. And she has figured out part of this by taking the sticker off of her anatomy textbook?

And realizing that her vagina looks nothing like the one that's in the textbook? I guess. Because there's a hilarious scene in their sex ed class where they're looking at two diagrams of giant penises. And then they're like, all right, and now we're going to talk about the v. Then one of the kids goes, Volva. And they, um, they they they the they they the the the they the the the they their they they their their their their their their they their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thogeogeoge. thoge. thoge. thoge. th. th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. I. It is. It is. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's together. It's together. It's together. It's together. It's togea. It's hilarious. It's hilarious. It's hilarious. It's hilarious. It's hilarious. It's togea. It's together. It's the. It's? Volvo. And they turn to the page of the diagram of the female genitals, and it has a huge gold star over top of it. They decided they couldn't show them to the students.

Because it was too gross. Too gross. Lady Parts. Real gross. Yeah. Yeah. Sad state of affairs, because it's not too far off from a lot of stuff. So she goes to a gynecologist to get checked out, as you would do.

Yep, that's the first thing you should do is call a doctor, right? You're 16, you're finding your body, you're figuring it out, let's go. I think I would have seen a lady guy know, but that's just me. Well, I know it probably would have benefited you by what thia thia thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi thi the thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably it's probably probably probably probably probably the the the the the the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi thi theeanananananananananananananananananananananananananananat thee. that's probably would would thi thi thi like when he screams, it's true, vagina dentata. That's like another thing that happens where it's like this really awful scene in this hilarious line is yelled by the person who is like being attacked I guess. He, the doctor like starts off being very kind and I was like, oh you can't tell if he's creepy or just awkward, you know. And he does like what I would assume an exam is like at the beginning. He's checking stuff out. The scoot, scoot, scoot, scoot. Yeah. The scoot, scoot. It was hilarious.

You are told to scoot, scoot, scoot. Put your feet up on Mr. Saki and other Mr. Saki. I liked that. Scutt, scoooooom, their. Sik. Sik. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. they. thi. they. Sik, the scoom. the scut, the scut, the scut, the scut, the scut, the scut, the scut, the scut, the scut, the scut, the sca. the sca. the sca. they. th. th. th. He's is is th. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. starts probing a little too much. He looves up his entire hand. His ungloved hand, which I think is what you're supposed to take is that it's like, this is not medical in nature. Right, and then he's making comments on it. It's just like, it's gross. Yeah, he's gross. And she bites off his fingers and just laying on the floor. So her vagina is expelling them as well, which I really like.

Yeah, spitting, chewing the love and spitting them back out. I have a problem with the amputations. I'm not good with them, so this movie was a little ooc on that, you know? Yeah. Yeah, I remember that from Fantasm. But then like, yeah, she's at the hot, then, then, then, then, then, the next, the next, the next, the next, the next, the next, the next, the next, the next, the next, the next, the next, the next, the next, the next, the next, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, and, the, the, and, the, the, the, the, the, and, and, the, the, and, and, and, the, and, the, and, and, the, the, and, and, the, the, and, and, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, tom. She's, too. She's, tooe. She's, tooe. She's, tooing, tooing, the, the, the, the, the, the died. No, not yet because she finds her mom, well no she runs home after the yeah she runs home after the gynecologist and finds her mom on the floor dying with bread and Melanie fucking in the room next to her and you can see them. But only in the butt, they only fuck in the butt. Because of his weird vagina thing now. Yeah. So she's at the hospital and her dad's like, she's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. the the the th. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. No. No. No, their. No. their. their. their. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thing now. Yeah. So she's at the hospital and her dad's like, she wakes up and her dad's like, go home.

Like, was it walking distance? Like, everything in town seems to be, your bike ride. Yeah, I guess so. So she goes to see this guy who has asked her a tauu. Right, pussy boy. That's what Brad calls him when he punches him in the face. Oh, Desi? That's awesome. He also gives her a calling card, which I like.

I like the idea of having a calling card for social situations. Yeah, yeah, I like that. Prospective boyfriend. Yeah. So she tells him about the vagina dentata. If you heard that, would your first instinct be to try to fuck it? Mmm, probably if you're a grosso. I guess so. Because he does, well, he roofies her. Well, he tells her what it is.

Well, he says my mom takes these to relax. Yeah. It's not like he slips, well, I guess, I mean... I don't think she knew that it was going to first have sex. Well, she wakes up to him manipulating her with that little like... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He has the like stimulator on the end of his finger that just to me looks like a maggot. It was really gross. It's really gross.

And I think it was just attached to that dude, like it was just... Yeah, yeah, thrown. Right, right, right, right. And she th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. And I th. And she's th. th. th. th. th, th, that that that that that that's just, that's just, that's just, that's just, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. And, th. And, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that that that that that that that and nothing happens. Yeah, right, right, right, right. And she's talked about how like a hero has to save the vagina dentata or whatever. So he says I guess I'm your hero and I'm like, ugh, no, that's not the hero. Did you think he was like a DC girl? No, because I was super bummed about the roofing. This is like, like, this is like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th of the movie for me like that like You know he Started off raping her and then it turned into consensual sex like that whole thing That's what I was like oh, this was written by a dude. Yeah, Mitch lichtenstein

Come on Mitch, come on So she's getting ready to leave to go back home, and he's like well, what about this again? And they start having sex again? He gets a phone? Oh? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the he he the thi he heat. heat. heat. heat. heat. heat. heat. heat. heat. heat. heat. heat. he's he's he's he's the the the he the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. this this this this this this the. this this the. this this this the. this this this this this is like the. the. the. this the. he he the. He's like, well, what about this again? And they start having sex again, and he gets a phone call. Whenever anyone answers a phone during sex, you can assume that they're monsters. And he is. He says, yes, I'm inside her right now. Yeah. And then if you watch this with subtitles on as I did because I was holding a sleeping baby. I don't think that's been thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. subtitles on as I did because I was holding a sleeping baby. I don't think that's been revealed until right now. I was like Lucy don't look. It just said crunch and I was like yes.

The crunch was so set I also watch it with subtitles on. Did you have a sleeping baby? No, it was just like 10 o'clock and I didn't want to. Yeah. My hearing's not so good. No. So when she realizes that he's a dick, she like gets a frowny face and bites his dick off. Yep. And it was, it was like squirting. His is the best severing because they just, like, the camera stays on his stump. Yeah. And it's just a whole gushing blood. Yeah.

Yeah. You know what I realized? This is the first rape revenge movie we've ever done. No, we did American Mary. Oh shit, that's right. Yeah. Oh, right, right, right. Yeah. Oh, that is. Yeah. Which I thought about because I thought Melanie looked a little bit like our friend Tobin who was the guest on an episode. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I forgot that. That was the, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. that. that. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. the. the the the the. the the the the the first. the th. th. the the th. the the the the the episode. Okay. It was the bangs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I forgot that. I think that was. Yeah. Yeah. What are you? I remember the thing. Look at me. So then she goes to the. I think she goes to the. I think she goes back to the, I think she goes to the police station but then is it. The next scene. the hospital. the thanks. they. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. I. I. I. the. I. the the the the the the the they. I the they. I th. I. I the. I th. I the. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. I the. I. I. I. I. Ito the police station but then is it and the next scene is at the hospital and she's there with her dad and Melanie and Melanie says I'm so sorry Brad said to ignore her she was screaming he said she got all the time that's right that's right so this is when she finds out that her mom is

dead also Brad has like attacked her dad with or his dad with the dog he's let the dog with the dog the dog was he's the the the the the the the the the the the the th let's the the th let's the the th let's the th let's th let's the the the th let's the the the the the the the th let's th. th. th. th. th let's let's the the's let's let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let's the dog the the the the the the the the the the the dog the the dog the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th was was was was th was th is th is th th th th th th th th th the is the is the is the is the the the is the the the the the to to to to to to to the to to the to for sure. Because the dad is trying to kick him out. Right. And he won't leave. Because he's got to stay in the house, because he's in love with Don. In love, I'm putting in finger quotes. Sure, that's what he says. But I think Brad has a very warped idea about what love is. Brad definitely has some mental problems for sure. So also at this point we've th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the th. the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Because to to to to to has some mental problems for sure. So also at this point we've been seeing like doctors and also like what appear to be like crime investigators like they're looking at Toby's penis and they're talking about the tooth that's stuck in it and they basically decide that it's like an eel. It said it's like part shark part eel but all human. Yeah yeah yeah. Oh I forgot about my favorite line in the movie.

What was that? So, after the Toby assault, she is, she goes home, and I think her mom offers her food, and she says, oh, her dad says dinner if you want to bite, she says, I ate, thanks. Oh, because she had bit some of that. I didn't get that. That, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's was was that's was that's was that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thia. thia. that's that's that's thia. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's I ate, thanks. Oh. Because she had bit somebody's dick off. I didn't get that. That's good.

And that's when she like, she goes nuts and rips all the posters off her wall and stuff. Right, all of her abstinent and stuff, yeah. So yeah, so she's at the hospital. Melanie tells her that Brad said to not worry about it, she always screams like, that, that, that, that, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi, thin, thi, that, that, that's, that's thi, that's thi. thi. that's that's that's that's thi. that's that's that's thi. thi, she's thi. she died. Yeah. Yeah. So then she goes home. And Brad has alluded to earlier that he wanted to have sex with her. He didn't even allude. He just straight upset. Yeah. She goes home and puts on like a white gown and a bunch of makeup. Which is another thing that I liked about her is like sort of a real character is that her made up face looks kind of bad. Like she uses like blue eyes shadow and she looks really silly. I think she was like try to make herself look like what a whore would look like or something like. I thought it was maybe just like inexperienced like this is a

girl who never wore makeup because is in the earlier scenes not really wearing makeup like she's a very like you know fresh-faced girl. Oh and her jeans game is whack. I also I like kind of love her tank tops over long sleeves. I know it's a modesty thing and then I was like can I wear that? Can I pull that off? I don't think so. I did also think of you because she's wearing boot cut jeans and I know you're a fan of the boot cut. Are they gonna come back? Are they back? I don't know. I think they're back? They're back? They're back. They're back. They're back. They're back. They're back. They're back. I can back. I can back. I can they're back. I can they're back. I can they're back. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can't they're back. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't they're back. I can't they. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I can. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm. I th. I th. I th. I th. somebody who is not a 43 year old man. So the other day, not to have fashion talk for a second. Let's have fashion talk.

I had nothing else to do. But as soon as it gets cold out, I go into sweater mode. Because I'm an old man who loves a British mystery. Yeah. Is it mystery or pastry? Both. But I said mystery. OK. So I put on a black polo shirt, black pants, as I, you know, I love the black color,

and then a gray sweater over top of that. And I just walked downstairs and this just goes, you look like a priest. And I was like, oh, like 100% too. You're totally right. It's a good look. I'm just entering the priest phase of my life. I didn't know that was a phaseman went through. I thought men in your age normally bought like a sports car. I think there's two routes you could go.

I think there's a lot of routes you could go. One of them is priest. He looked like a priest. But yeah, I just have the note like her pants are whack. I like, I like to wear a ringer to to to to tea I was like I gotta I gotta wear more ringer teas. Am I too old to wear a ringer tea? I think I'm too old. Why? Because I'm a mom. But her said caution sex changes everything. I kind of wanted that shirt. It's pretty good. But so yeah so she puts on this makeup that's a little bit whack. And she goes to seduce Brad.

Yeah, because she knows that she can weaponize it now. And by it I mean her teethy vagina. Her teethy vagina. So unsurprisingly, she bites his dick off. And then- After, like he tries taking her from behind. And she says now. Which was the grossest sentence I could have just said. I'm so sorry. This whole thing is gross. I mean, we're talking about vagina teeth biting off dicks.

Like, what are we going to do? And she's like, no, because she wants to look in his eyes when it happened. And mother is freaking out. The dog, yeah. Yeah. Do the dog know she knew that she had ill intentions. All right, that's good. Or maybe he just knew that he was gonna be getting a treat later. Ah! Craced Almighty.

So she bites his wang off. And then stands up and it falls out of her vagina. Yeah, I have the floor. I have the note she pooped it out. She does puked it out. She just vagin' out. on the floor with a huge ring in it. Yeah, that's so gross. So gross. So gross. And then mother busts out of her cage and you think she's going to attack Don.

She does not. No, she eats the wiener. He eats the weeder. Well, there's that great scene where a dog will always like pick up a bone and then kind starts gulping and I was like, oh, this is the best. And then spits out the ring part, like the head with the ring in it. Oh my God. While Brad is like watching and howling. See, but this is the thing, like, it's just like gross, gross, gross.

Oh, that's fucking hilarious. Yeah, it really is. And that's not even the end of it. No. So she gets gets gets gets gets gets gets gets gets gets gets gets gets gets gets gets gets gets gets gets gets gets gets gets gets gets gets gets gets gets gets gets gets th so she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she gets th. She she gets she gets she gets she gets th. She th. She th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It thi. It's thi. It's the. It's thee. It's theeeeeeee. It's thee. It's the. It's the. It's thi. It's thi. It's th. not even the end of it. No. So she gets grosser. She leaves. She leaves town, I guess. She hops on her bike and bikes out of town. And then when she gets a flat, she hitchhikes. With an old man who looks exactly like Jimmy Duranty. For our older members of our list. Yeah. He's really gross. That man sticking out his tongue was appalling.

Oh God, it's the worst. And he just keeps doing it. And I was like, ugh. Yeah, stop doing it. Stop doing it. Stop doing it. But we realize what she's about to do. Right. She's trying to get out of his car.

And he's just like looking at her anding the doors and fucking with her. Yeah. Until she like puts her head down a little bit and like smiles at the camera. Yeah, like oh she gonna eat his dick with her V teeth. Um let me ask you a question. Mm-hmm. As a dick have her, was this like painful to watch? Like you know when you see someone get hit in the balls, and every, like I feel like when men see someone get hit in the balls, everyone will be like, aw. When it's on like America's Funnies Home videos, yes, because you know that person actually got hit the balls. Yeah, that's true.

But when it's like in a movie, I don't get that reaction. Not rapists, Dicks get bit off. Yeah, yeah. It was a very just-desert situation. Was there any other stuff that really stuck out to you about this movie? I mean, there's not much to it other than all of its awfulness. Yeah, I mean, the story is not... It doesn't go anywhere, really. She realizes she can do this and basically does it. It's really, every man in this. It's just such a scumbag. Such a scumbag. Except for her dad.

I did see a review of this on rotten tomatoes. They were just like, there's just like, there's such an awful picture of men. I was like, the, the, the, the, like, the unfertilized eggs that are like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, a.. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. like in the opening credits where there's like the zygots or whatever they are like the little, they're the eggs, the unfertilized eggs that are like bopping around and getting attacked by something? Yeah, I don't know what the attackers were? I don't know how babies get made still. I didn't know there was an attack force. Yeah, I think you have to defeat the the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. make it past Hadrian's wall. Yeah, that's how babies get built. But her egg attacks the attackers. Right. Which I liked. Which doesn't make any sense, but that's fine. No. None of it makes sense. It looked like the beginning of, look who's

talking, as we mentioned about. Except no Bruce Willis. So that Except no Bruce Willis. So that is Deeth. Yeah. There's also one other scene I do want to talk about. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, go. The one where she is giving the speech to the kids the second time, and they're like, purity, yes. And they're saying things all in unison.

Oh, the Greek chorus. They call her woman because she came from the man or whatever. And I was like, man, this shit fucked. That's all I wanted to say. I just wanted to point out how fucked that was. It was really upsetting. The whole thing is, this is a very upsetting movie. It really is. I remember when I mentioned that someone had suggested this to us.

Yeah. And you were like, oh yeah, I really liked that movie. We th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that that that that that that that that tho tho that that that that the the the the that, I was that, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I tho that, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I that, I was, I was, I that, I that, I that that that thooooooooo-s. tho-a. thooooo-s, I'm tho-s, I'm just, I tho-s. thoo' th, I really liked that movie. We sounded a lady's nightmare. And it's like, okay, so I was expecting like, something else. Well, I think what happened was we watched it, it was like a room full of girls watching this movie and screaming a dick's getting ripped off. It was a little different than watching it at home by yourself or with your baby. Or is a dude just got caught in trash? This is terrible. Yeah. So you, uh, well, are we there? We doing it?

Yeah, we might as well. Are you it? You go first. Or what are we doing? Katie, we are going to the, I don't have a funny voice for this one, ratings phase. I mean, how do you make a funny voice about a dick getting ripped off? May I go first this time? I would like you too. So like I was saying I was I was expecting something else. I don't know what I was expecting but this is

one of the darkest movies we've ever tackled. Interesting. And not because of the dick getting bitten off farts but, but just like, there's so much sexual assault in this movie. Yeah, she has a really shitty couple of days. Yeah. But that's how I did enjoy watching it on some level? So I would give this, uh, eight. Nice.

Yeah. I thought the special, like, they made this movie for $2 million. Yeah. And all of it went it it it went it went it went it went it went it went it went it went it went it went it went it went it went it went their their their their their their th. the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. the. the. theat the. the. the. th. th. their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th dick props and I really appreciated that. A lot of fake blood. Because there was only one actor that I recognized. Who was that? The dad, he plays a shut-in in Twin Peaks. Oh, okay. Yeah, I didn't recognize anyone in this movie. He's the only one I recognized.

I thought I knew the kid who lived in the garage when I looked as IMDB I didn't know him from anything. In the weirdest hairline. Yeah he's a weird face just a weird weird looking kid. I you know we watched this a Ladies Nightmare and I really liked it then and I watched again I don't I really liked it again I think it's it's quick it's um spunky if you will fuck I mean, rapes not cool. Rape's not cool. Biting dicks off is cool. Yeah, fine. I'm he, I'm in, let's do it. That's how I feel.

I'm gonna give it, I'm gonna give it an eight and a half. Oh, nice. Yeah, I really liked it. Yeah, if it did not have the dick biting aspect this movie would be the fucking worst. Yeah, absolutely. But I think that's the point, right? Like, I'm surprised, I'm surprised this was made by a man and not by Diablo Cody. I think it would have been a little different if it were made by a woman. And how do you think it would have been affected? I think that scene where she was initially drugged by the dude would be been handled a little differently? Yeah. I felt like it was very broy at that point.

Did we mention that there's huge nuclear towers behind her else that probably mutated her? We didn't. But do that make you think that like, I wonder how many other people have vagina teeth? He's like, why just her? You know what I mean? That's an environmental cause it's going to be more widespread than one person. Oh yeah, we forgot to mention that there's there's she's in biology class and she gets there late and the one teacher the teacher's like, uh, Don, sorry you're late, but we were talking about adaptations and this affects you. He's like... Well I think she was talking about evolution. Well I think she was talking about evolution, the evolution, thi about, thi about evolution, thi, thi, thi, that's, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's, they's, thi's, they's thi's thi's th a lot of those kids were dumb dumb dumb Christians because even like what she's talking about evolution like Gwen

leans over to Phil and is like that's what she thinks or whatever like oh she's like no we can't like a hundred percent prove this and you're just like mm-hmm yeah right is it do you ever like if you've ever in your life found out that someone you knew didn't believe in evolution and been stunned. I don't. I know people who don't. What fucking idiots. Yeah, but it was like, I for the things that I knew about them, when I found that I was like, oh, that makes perfect sense. Like I knew a guy who wants who was convinced that the sun wasn't a star? It's the sun. It's not a star. It's not a star, it's the sun. The stars are the other things. It can can can can can can it can it can it can it can it can it can it can it can it can it can it can it can it can it can it can it can it can it can it can it can it can it can it can it can it can it can it can it can it can it can it can it can it can it can be both it can be both it can be both it can be both it can be both it can be both. It can be both. It can be both. It can be both the the the the stars. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It can. It can. It can. It can. It can. It can. It can. It can. It can. It can be the th. It can be th. It can be th. It can be th. It can be thi. It can be thi thi. It can thi. It can thi. thi. It can thi. It can be thi. It's not a star, it's the sun. The stars are the other things. It can be both things. Hmm, I don't know about that.

When I was a child, I thought that the sun was the back of the moon and they turned. Oh, that's amazing. Yeah. I thought that a little too long though. You know, it was like I remember like I remember like I remember like I remember like I the the the the the the the the the the the the to remember like I was like I was like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the sun., the the sun. the sun. the sun. the sun. the sun. the sun. the sun. the sun was still up to him being like, I'm being like, What if that's something that somebody told you? It could well be. Oh, speaking of which, not to derail, but I was reading a book recently and in the book someone said, my grandmother always told me that when the sun was out and it was raining, the devil is beating his wife.

And I was just like, vindication! Yeah, not just you. Not just you. But the book tastes place in Baltimore, which is not far from where I grew up, so I was wondering if it may be a regionalism. Some sort of crazy regionalism. We don't have those here. No regionalism is here. You know. So that's a really short episode.

What are we doing next week? Katie. Let's lighten the fair the fair bit. No more dick bites. Uh, no more dick. Hold on, I'm trying to remember. No, no, okay. How about we put Tom Hanks on a barbecue? Love Tom Hanks. Is there anyone in the world who doesn't love Tom Hanks? Not that I know of. We should, if you, do not like Tom Hanks, let us know and we will tell you what a dumbedom you are. Let's do the Joe Dante directed Tom Hanks vehicle starring Rest in Peace Carrie Fisher. The Burbs. The Burbs. The Burb of the Burg, the Burb of the Burg. Oh and Corey fucking Feldman too. The Living One, the Living the Living the the Living the the Living

Corey. I wish that's what he went by now. If you were him if you were him wouldn't you? That's th th I th I th. If I th. If I th. th. th. th. If I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. If I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the th. to the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tell. tell. tell. the tell. the tell. tell. tell. to me. to. to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. Don't live in Corey. If you were him, wouldn't you? That's such a missed opportunity for him. If I were him, I'd be a fucking maniac. Is this only our second Corey Feldman? I can't believe that. Yeah. Yeah, we haven't done the Friday of the 13th that he's in yet. Yeah.

We'll get that one. We've done three of them. Three of them? And then seven and eight. And then the first one. And then the first one. Oh my God. I can't like we've done this.

We haven't straight too. Never mind. I think we've been, for some reason where we started, we were like, we gotta save the classics. I don't know what the fuck we're saving it for. Maybe we'll start getting into some classics after this. Maybe. It's just like at this point to you really want to hear us talk about Texas Jainsaw? Like, yeah, it's a great movie. I thin. I think that's the other thing. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How, the other. How, the the the the the the the the the the the the the f. I's, the f. I' the f. I'm the f. I's the f. I'm the f. I'm the f. I' the f. I' the f. I' the f. I the f. I the f. I the f. I the f. I the f. I' the f. I' the f. I' the f. I' the f. I'm the f. I'm the f. I' the f. I' the f. I' the f. I' the f. I' the f. I' the f. I'm the f. I'm the f. I'm the f. I'm the f. I'm th. I'm th. I'm te. I'm the f. I'm the f. I'm the f. I'm. I'm the f. I'm the f. I'm the f. I'm. I know. Yeah, we're not doing Texas Chainsaw. We did the second one, that was good enough. The movie is also kind of perfect. If we're going to do Texas Chainsaw, we should do the one with Jessica Beal. Oh yeah, we could do the remakes. Yeah, we could do the Rob Zombie Halloween. Yeah, we could do the Rob Zombieanna. Hi, Mike. Hi, Nana. Hi, Jim Robinson. Get the Triumford in there. How's Jim doing? It's doing great. Good. And that's Jim Robinson. Hey, Emily. Yes. We're really running. This is a short episode guys. I'm sorry. Whatever. Deal with these we're doing episodes. the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. I thi. M. M. M. M. M. M. I thi. M. M. M. M. I thi. M. M. M. M. I. M. M. I. We're really running. We're, we're, this is a short episode, guys. I'm sorry. Whatever, deal with it. Well, these we're doing episodes.

We're back, baby. Eh, we're back and we're bitter. Ah. Ah, thanks for listening to another episode of Warwulf ambulance? Bye. Bye. And we didn't even say to get at us on the internet. Fuck it. Say no. Do you want to say now and I'll put it in? Get us on the