Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 145- The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

Episode Date: October 9, 2017

Don't be fooled, EMTs-- this week we are NOT discussing the much-beloved, unparalleled original "Texas Chainsaw Massacre," we're discussing the 2003 remake starring Jessica Biel and a bunch of other bozos. Special topics for your consideration include: the original movie obvs, food challenges such as egg-eating and cinnamon-ingesting, John Lithgow or John Larroquette: which is which?, completely losing track of one of the main characters in this film, stupid leaps of logic and real talk about low-rise jeans.  Want to hear us talk about the TCM franchise? Check out Episode 56- "Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2." Want to hear us do more complaining about television actors in movies? Listen to Episode 14- "Ghost Ship."  Have you seen this remake? Did you see it just for this episode? Are you mad at us? Let us know at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Twitter @werebulance or on Instagram @werewolfambulance. You can also email us for our segment "MAILBAG!" at [e-mail] and if you're feeling super generous, leave us an iTunes rating and review.   Are you into handmade horror stuff? Of course you are. Do you want to get it delivered to you once a month? Of course you do! You can get just that by visiting our sponsor, Cryptocurium, at www.cryptocurium.com where you can sign up to have that sweet handmade stuff delivered to your door monthly via the Parcel of Terror. You can also get into The Order of the Thinned Veil, an appreciation society of all things Halloween that you should totally join. Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast. 

Hey Alan. Hey Katie. Do you want some pizza? Yeah, I definitely do. I have some pizza here. Would you like a slice? I would. It's got uh, it's got some topings on it? Uh, not too many, I hope. It makes it soggy if there's too many. It's got some cinnamon. Corn on the cob, gummy worms. I don't think I want this pizza anymore.

Oh, I was just thinking I would take this thing that was really good and pile a bunch of shit on and make it terrible. What do you think? What do you think? Cinnamon. This is the cinnamon of movies. You try to take a whole spoonful of this before you spin it all over yourself because you can't breathe. The cinnamon challenge. What are you talking about? If you try to eat a spoonful of cinnamon because you inhale right before you swallow something, you'll inhale the cinnamon and choke. Why would anyone try to do that? Because the internet and stupid people.

I bet I could do it. It's like the cool hand Luke thing, right? Like how many eggs? I always thought I could do that too. Oh, I could eat 50 eggs without even fucking blinking. Seriously. Says the guy who would throw up after four. Really, why? I don't th, I th, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I th, I tho, I th, I tho, I tho, I tho, th, tho, th, tho, that, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi I was just like envisioning that fourth egg going in me like hmm oh maybe this was a bad idea. I'm a good binge eater. Once I eat so much at sushi buffet I

insisted on having the ice cream of the end and then just threw up thrift in the bathroom. Just to like it just got too close to the top, you know what I mean? Texas Jainsaw Massacre. Before we get into it, tell me, do you enjoy the original? Of course, everybody does, right? Right? Don't make me get defensive. Yeah, it's like a perfect movie. So, yes, I enjoy it. And, you know, rest and beast, Toby Hooper. RIP. Yeah, I think that movie is literally a perfect film. thi. that, th. Yeah. Yeah, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, thi, ta, thi, th And, you know, rest and beast, Toby Hooper. R-I-P.

So, yeah, I think that movie is literally a perfect film. Like, we had talked about doing it at some fun, I was like, I can't make fun of that. No, I would give it a 10, and it would be boring because we would just, like, what, recount the plot to you and tell Yeah, chainsaws him. Did you know there's no blood in it? There's no blood in that movie except for the very beginning? That's the only blood in the movie. I didn't know that. No, see, I didn't know that. So you could have told me that if we've done that movie, butfinder, which is about... D&D? No.

Which is a remake of D&D? Let's be honest. It is. It is. It is, you're right. Just push your glasses up or borrow mine and do it. I like Pathfinder, though. Yeah, it's like a 3.5. 3.75, yeah, let's go for all the rules. But he was a music video director.

Oh. Tell me. Tell me, tell me, tell me. Gonna make you sweat by C&C Music Factory? Yes, indeed. Ready or not by the Fugees? Okay, sure. Yeah, he did some fucking killer videos.

Yeah, real stuff. Small victory by Faith No More. He did some awesome stuff. Yeah. Movie wise, though, he's done, Texas Chainsil Masker. Something called Frankenstein. I'm sure that's a remake. Friday to the 13th. The 2009, I'm looking over your shoulder. Coney and the barbarian. Also a remake.

Why was that movie made that? I the first. the first. the first. the first. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. was that movie remade? Why did the world need that? I don't know, the first one is perfect. Yeah. You know what, I love Red Sonia? You ever seen Red Sonia? Oh, well, fuck, yeah. I've seen Red Sonia. I love that movie.

I like the second Conan movie. I don't know if I ever seen it. Jones and Wilkes-Stil, Chamberlain. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. All right. Good. How'd you like it? Because it's so silly. Unlike this movie, that is not silly, and has no heart whatsoever in it. I don't, it just is garbage. It's a garbage movie.

Well, let's get into it. It starts with fuzzy footage of a cop doing like a walk around a crime scene. Yeah, but they did get John Larricette to do the voice hover. Is it John Lerickett? It's John Lerickett. I didn't notice that. I love John Laricat. What's he doing? Why is he doing that? I don't know because he did the original. I just mixed him up with John Lytgou. And I no longer care. I would no longer care. I would notice if it was John Larick. I was like. I I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like like. I was like like like. I was like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I that he that th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. I to to thi. I thi. I th. I th. I th.ourt fan and I had no idea. I do like nightcourt, but I don't care that much for John Lerickett. Listen, I'm tired, you guys. He did the voiceover for the original, so that's why they got him to do this. That's fine, yeah. That was like, that was back in the day that had to tell you everything they knew. No, they just do that now. Yeah.

But it's the internet so you can just ignore them. Yeah, it's true. So yeah, it starts with the doc, I called it docu cop footage. Sure, that's perfect. And there's scratch marks in the walls, because from Street Fighter. It is not a humans clause. They're like, it doesn't make any sense. A humans don't have claws, fingernails. Did you know the guy who played Leatherface in this movie?

Played Zangeif in the Street Fighter movie? No, I didn't. I love hate the Street Fighter movie. It's so bad. Isn't Rahl Julia M. Bison? Yeah, it's his last, uh, last, yeah, he's literally like almost dead of stomach cancer and he is acting the shit out of that role. It was amazing. At the end, it just says via con Dioce. Also, Gile, the American hero, Sean Claude Van Damme. Who is apparently just on a cocaine bender and fucking Kylie Minogue the whole time?

Hell yeah. Yeah. Kind of looks amazing in that movie. Dope and shit. I know. I love Raulja. I love Raulja. I would do Street Fighter for April Fools. Yeah. Yeah. We should have done that so you can find out about it later. I feel like we had something we were going to do before that thou. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th. Yeah th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that that that the that their that their the that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that. that. that. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the to the to the the to th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I to. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the the the the the the the the t. I. I. I. I. I to. I to. I to. I. Yeah, I would do Street Fighter for your Poole Fools. Okay. Guys log that so you can find out about it later. I feel like we had something we were gonna do before that, though. I think we talked about Roadhouse at one point. Really, that movie I'll just make you mad though.

Yeah, we gotta flip a coin. 20th, 1973. That's my wedding anniversary, not 1973, but August 20th, in case you guys want to send me a gift. Just me, not Rob. Why did they set this movie in the 70s? It doesn't make any sense. Jessica Beal is so modern looking. None of them look like they're from the 70s. Maybe the guy with the New York John Lennon t-shirt on. It's because they literally put him in a John-Liden t-shirt. Yeah. He's the only one that's pulling it off. He, Jessica Beale particularly, and then her like a Bozo boyfriend are so modern looking. They just have that look about them. Oh, Kemper? Also not a 70s name. No, I also like that they get rid of him quickly. You think maybe they shouldn't. You think he's gonna th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi, like thi, like, like, like, like, like, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th th th th th th thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. Bo. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho's gonna stick around. I like that he's like out. He had to get back to the set of six feet under, which is the only thing I know him from. Oh, I didn't know that. I didn't know that. So these are all TV actors is what you're telling me. Yes, seventh heaven. Yeah. I saw a couple episodes of seventh heaven in my day. I had a roommate who liked it. Didn't the dad? Didn't t tod tod tod tod th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th is th is th is th at th at the didn't that is the didn't the didn't the didn't the the the th is the the the the th is th is the th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. thin. the the the the the the the the the only only only only only only only only only only only only only the only only the only that that. th're all in a van listening to Sweet Home, Alabama going to a Leonard Skitter concert

And they're like, I hope they play free bird like no shit they're gonna play at 30 fucking times. How angry were you when they said that? Of course they're gonna play fucking bird. They're gonna play a thirty fucking times. they're gonna play a fucking times. A note. they're they're their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. their. th. th. th. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're gonna. they're gonna. they're gonna. they're gonna. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their. th. their. their. th. th. their. t. t. t. t. t. today. t. today. they're their. their. their. they're their. they're. they're. their. their. times. Something, a note that I typed into my phone. She was writing down when she said that and I want to know was she writing down like her perspective setlist for Skinnerd and all she had was Freebird. I'll tell you what, I saw Skinner and like I'm gonna say 99. Yeah, they definitely played Freebird twice. Did they play Gimme me the new stuff? Leonard, Leonard. Leonard. Leonard. Scattered. They literally have an album that tells you how to pronounce their name.

It's amazing. Ah, my love for Skinnerd is disproportionate to my love or my hatred of the rebel flag. Yeah, I'm confused by your Skinner love's the to. Loves Easy Top. that's, but that's different.. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's. that's. that's. that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's scattered. that's scattered. that's scattered. that's scattered. that's scattered. that's scattered. that's scattered. that's scattered. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It. It. It's. It. It. It's. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a that's a that's different. that's different. that's different. that's different. that's a that's a th. that's a th. th. th. the. thea' th. theateatea'er. scattered. It's scattered. It's scattered. It's scattered. It seems out of character for you. I love Skinner, loves Easy Top. Loves Easy Top. Yeah. But that's different. They're tongue-in-cheek, I feel.

They're just out there to have a good time. Skinner's taken it for seriases. Yeah, yeah. known for his humor. Yeah, right, exactly. So Jessica Beale wants to marry this Bozo. And then it's here, Carricot Diamond rang. Well, don't forget, while they're talking about this, there are two people literally fucking in the backseat of the van.

And then just another person just staring at them. Apparently they have two pounds of weed in this van, in a pinata. Like, no. And also, like, only mid-drift shirts are allowed in that van. You're gonna tie him off if you haven't cut him off. Right, exactly. That other woman's name is pepper. Pepper. That's not a name.

It's a spice. I was gonna make a comic book joke just then, but you... I don't know what the... I don't mean. That's your other podcast. Plug for Marvilling and Marvel's Marbles here. Oh, thank you. Comics. So they pick up a hitchhiker, or not even a hitchhiker, a woman wandering down the street. Yeah, a lady, a lady, uh, yeah. Because this basically follows the vague outline of the original movie, but with twists, see? Right, says they pick up a woman, not an obviously insane person. Yeah, a distressed woman.

Yeah, and she's just mumbling that they're she has to get away that they're all dead. They're coming for her. Blah, blah, blah. Where did she pull that gun from? Was it in her? Missy was so mad. Yeah, me too. That's not going to fit where they pulled it from. It's not going to fit.

And... I mean, she, granted, her the thigh, her, her, her, her, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, tho, was tho, was thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. thi. thi. th. to. Is later, I think we're to believe that baby is hers? That baby is at least 18 months old. I thought the blood was from the gun being inside of her. Okay, not giving birth to that 18 month old baby. Well, it doesn't make any sense. Oh no, nothing in this movie. Why did she put that gun in there to look blood? Also, I don't think you, well. I think this movie, much like a lot of these remakes, would have benefited from not being called Texas Jainsaw Massacre, because I just spent the entire time going, uh-uh. Yeah, uh, uh, uh, just being like, Dumb, Texas Killer movie. It reminded me of that, what, what was that movie with Johnny Depp's ex-wife in it? Mandy Moore, Manny Moore, no, thi. th. I's, th. And M-in, th. And th. And th. And th. I's, th. I's, th. I's, th. I's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th-a, th-a, th-a-a-a-a-in, th-a-a-a-a-m!!-a-a-a-a-a, th-a, th-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s. Uh-s. Uh-s. Uh-s. Uh-s. Yeah, uh-s. Yeah, uh-s-s-s-s-s-s. ta-s. tuh-s. ta-s-s-s. t-s. t-s. Minnie Moore's cool. Yeah. Tearsie Saved?

Very funny. You should see, I bet you like it. Yeah, very funny. Dude, I don't remember. Manning More cast. But it reminded me of that movie a lot. Because it had like the big Texas house that were reminded of the Texas Chainsville Masquer for that movie.

Sure. And it was just like a teeny teen teen teen teeny teeny teeny Have you managed to erase that movie from your, yeah? Yeah. I remember teens. And I remember the twistering now at the end there. But, um, so yeah, they pick up this lady. She's got a gun in her, yeah, her downtown zone. And she pulls the gun out and blows her fucking brains out. It was a nice shot through the head. It was a nice visual. How did you like the camera going back through her head hole? I actually like that a lot. Yeah, it's fun.

Yeah, it was very fun. And the smoke coming out of her mouth, I felt it was like weed, you know what I mean? Did you feel like it was a weed too, the thin, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the th, the th, th, th, the the thin, the thin, th, th, thin, th. thi, th. It's, thi, the the the thi, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's a nice, it's a nice, it's a nice, it's a nice, it's a nice, the camera, the camera, the camera, the camera, the camera, the camera, the camera, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. It's they. It's a thin, thr-s, thr-s, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, thr-a, thi. It's thi. It's throooooo-a, thi. It's thi, thi. It's a throw the piñata into a field because it's got two pounds of weed in it and I was like, give me that pinnata, dog. Why wouldn't you go and put it under a tree? You'd be like, I will come back for you later, two pounds of weed. Two pounds of weed? Dog. It was to start their lives together so he could give her that.

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I feel like not to always compare this to the original, but I feel like this movie hates Southerners way than than than than than than than the original does, and the original is literally about a cannibal family. I agree. It's very much, it's a lot more stereotypical, I feel. Yeah, because they're cartoons in the original. They're so weird, but still terrifying cartoons. What cost $10 in 1970 would cost $62 in 2016 based on inflation. God damn, he should have held on to those two pounds of weed for a long time. That's why I have all that weed in my basement that I'm going to sell in 30 years. What's that? $10 of 2016 money is a dollar 53 in 1970 money. Oh wow. I love inflation. Should we remind you the people of what your day job is right now?

No. I just love the calculation of it because it's always so shocking. So the woman at the gas station calls the sheriff and the sheriff says meet me at the old mill to these people who have a literal dead body in their car. Yeah. And they're understandably like, yeah, we're not going to do that. He should come here and then they go do that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to be, thi. they. to to to to their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. th. th. th. th. th. toe. toe. th. th. toe. th. th. th. th. toe. that. He should come here and then they go do that. Yeah. It's one of those things where he's like, I don't want to do it.

Go do it. All right. All right. All right. Is this where they meet the kid? They meet the kid when they second to figure out, looking at my notes, because my notes say, Ring Asian, because I typed my phone. He's from the Ring. He's Aden. My phone auto-corrected Aden to Asian.

And I could not figure out what Ring Asian was until I like read the next note. I have it written out in my notes. I have the note that he's in the Ring remake and I don't, I'm a fucking idiot. I have it written out in my notes. I was like, where's you from? Ring Asian. Which makes it, it works on a bunch of levels. For some reason, and it doesn't work time line wise, because he would be way too

old. I thought he was the kid from the dream, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, to, to, to, to, to, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th..... th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. th. the, where, where, where the, where the, where the the. the. the. thr. the. thr. the. thr. the. the. from, no, no, no, no, that's from that kid is in a new nightmare, West Craven's New Nightmare. Oh, okay. Yeah, the kid from Freddy 5, oh he's from Jurassic Park and something else. Is he? He's the kid at the beginning of Jurassic Park that's questioning Sam Neal's knowledge of dinosaurs. Our Sam Neal prints to kill him. Yeah, cut him across his belly with a claw. Fucking Sam Neal, you're son if a bitch. Guys, go into the in the mouth of Madness podcast if you want to hear our real thoughts on Sam Neal.

And go listen to the event horizon podcast. Hup, puh, hup, hup, hup, hup. So they go to the mill, they meet Jeddahaya. Because he's Southerncy. Biblically so. Aaron immediately, Aaron who is Jessica Beal. Yeah. Immediately goes to investigate the mill. Yeah, it just runs right in like a dumbed. Like a dumb, like a dumb. Like a dumb.

This is the like possum scare instead of the cat scare. Yeah. And also someone yelling like, whoever's out there's fucking around, because it's that, it's that movie. It's that level of give-a-fucks in the script writing. Zeros. Zero's across the board. I mean, they were smart on some level to change the story so that you weren't constantly sitting there going, oh, it was so much better before. It was so much better before. It was so much better before. It was so much better. In ways. It was the way. It was the way. It was the way. It was the way. It was the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was that that that that that th. It was that th. It's th. It's th. that level th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that level that level that level that level that level that level that level that level that level that level that level that level that level that level that level the level the level the level. the level. the level. the level. the level. the level. the level. the level. the level. the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the th. the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th guess... I mean the whole like sheriff thing, like they just, they, there's none of that in the beginning of Texas chainsaw. They just like, they end up at the house and then there's like, and there's no wheelchair kid with them who's just the whiny brother the whole time. Oh, right, yeah. So they made their they. So they made their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their. They're they're their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. They, their. They, their. They, their. They, their. They, they, their. They, their. They, their. They, their. They, their. They're, their. They're, their. They're, their. They're, their. They're, their. They're, their. They're, their. They're, their. T. T. T. They're, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. They're, their. They're be a good girl. She wants to get married. She's mad. They've got weed. She don't want to go to Mexico to get drunk.

She doesn't drink. She doesn't do drugs. But she spent her childhood and juvie hot wiring cars. I think when that happens, you have the note, I do like, I also like the basement at the end is only full of water because she's wearing a white tank top. You know what I mean? Oh, okay, the rain scene?

It's just for titties. Yeah, she looks fucking fantastic. Amazing. Yeah, it's ridiculous. Like, I was gonna say it's unreal because it's like unrealistic. It's like, it's like, she, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thin-like, thin-like, thin-like, thin' the the thin-like, thin- like, thin- like, the the the the the the the the the rain. It's like, the rain. It's like, the the rain. It's like, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thin' thin-s thin-s thin-s thin-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-saintainain scene scene. th-s-s-sain scene scene. thin thin thin thin thin thin thin you'd need a wax to wear them. It's disgusting. I mean, like, sick, good. And if I know anything about the 70s, it would have been Bush City if she was wearing the things.

She's just too modern for this role. And also she's a TV actress and it shows. For sure. For sure. Also, like everyone, other than than than than than than than than than than than than than the old the old th th th th th th than the old th than the old th than the old th than th than the old the old th than the old lady at the barbecue place, all of the southern people and Jedediah, have like real good teeth. You know what I mean?

It's like they ran out of teeth budget. I don't know. How did you feel about our Lee Ermi? Like him. As the sheriff. Holy shit he was over the top. Yeah, he's chewing up every second up, with that saran wrap, it's hard to work with saran wrap. Literally a drill sergeant and everything else I've ever seen him in.

Yeah. And then this movie, you're like, oh you're the worst cop ever. I love him, I love him. I thought he was the highlight of the movie. I really did. That's awesome. They meet th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I that, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, literally, literally, that, that, literally, literally, that, literally, that, literally, literally, that, literally, that, literally, literally, literally, that, literally, they find out about the house? I don't know. I don't know. Oh no, they asked Jotadaya where the sheriff is and the she's like, oh he's probably getting drunk over the house. Oh, okay. Yeah, there's no road that takes you there. You got to take a shirt walk. So Kemper and Aaron. Aaron is also not a 70s. No. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, I's thi, I thi, I thi, I'm the the thi. the the the the the sheriff is also the sheriff is also the sheriff is also the sheriff is also the sheriff. the sheriff. the sheriff. the sheriff. the sheriff. the sheriff. the sheriff. the sheriff. the the sheriff. the sheriff. the the the sheriff. the the sheriff. the the the the the s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s sierra. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Hea. He's is thi's. Hea. Hea. He's the the thi. Hea. Hea. He's is the they're thi. He's is it? Well yeah, because there was a Joni from Happy Days, her real name was Aaron. Fine. But it's not like your typical seven days name. And Aaron and Kemper sounds like the most like waspy. Yeah,

they're playing tennis. Yeah, Aaron and Kemper are going to Ketilian. But they go to the house, they walk off and they leave everybody else with the van and the body. Right. There's like a confusion about whether the sheriff is coming to them or whether they're going to the sheriff if it seemed. And I just didn't care at that point, so. And they don't, they don't wait for anything to find out. They just start running off. Because that's like second right on anything. No. So they meet the guy in the wheelchair at the house. Yeah. Who won't let Camber into the house? I feel like I don't think I would go. Yeah I don't think I would go. Yeah I don't think I would go. But again he's like I don't want to do that you have to do th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to do that. to do to to to do to that. to to to to to to that. to th. th. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. I. I th. Yeah. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. Yeah. I th. Yeah. I th. Yeah. I th. Yeah. Yeah. I th. Yeah. Yeah. I the the the the the the ththat you have to okay. God damn it! Fine fine fine well he gets his yeah he

goes into the house eventually looking for Aaron and this is where there's like that scene shot-for-shot scene of in the original Texas Jainselmasker when that door slams yeah that's like the scene that gets me. Yeah for sure that's so spooky because it's it doesn't belong in that house. Yeah. And in this movie, it's just treated like, oh yeah, that's, that's just, that's the door that's here. Yeah. I did like they included it as like a hat tip, but it didn't have the same effect.

Yeah, because, uh, Leatherface comes up and hit him see the ring fall out of his clothes and you're that's supposed to make you care but you don't. It didn't stop me from laughing when Leatherface was sewing a mask out of his face. I called that Leatherface's Make It Work Moment. What? that ti. ti gun was just hanging out there? Oh, Tim Gunn if you're out there I love you., I'm not sure about this. What? Of course he is. Do you think so? Hey Tim Gun. Hey Tim Gunn, you're my hero. Hey, Nanna.

Hi, Mike. Jim. Hey, hey, Emily. And out. Leatherby's also has no respect for his own property. He's just te. Like, this is your house, dog. I picture them just having a shed full of screen doors. They just have to keep replacing them and like also banisters. He's almost the leather face from Texas Jainsal too, more than he is the one for the first one.

I agree with that. Uh, who's just a rampaging lunatic the entire time. Yeah. I feel like leather face in the first movie is almost sympathetic in some ways. Like you come to see him as like a giant weirdo, as opposed to just like a rampaging lunatic, but in this there's no subtlety. They try to make you like feel sorry for him because they show you his face, his actual face. I don't think I saw that. I think I must have been looking away.

Oh, they show you, oh, that poor boy, his face. Yeah, everybody always made fun of him. It's like, wait, is that justification for him being a murdering lunat? I know, I got bullied too. I had a mustache. I mean, what are you going to do? I never ate nobody. I forgot about that. I would, you would too.

Don't lie. So, Leatherface kills Kemper. Aaron runs back to the old mill. The sheriff has already been there and taken the body away. Right. He wrapped them... Is the beefcake still there? The blonde guy?

Yeah, yeah, okay. He and Bepper and John Lennon. He and Pepper and John Leonard were still there. The three of them are like, well, Camper's not here, but we're going. Let's go. Yeah, like, that guy's your friend, right? I guess. Although he did throw two pounds of weed away. They could go back and get that weed and just forget him. Yeah, that's what they're they's they'sto forget. Yeah, as you do. And this is the boy where you're like,

oh, John Lennon's actually right, you guys should get the fuck out of here. Yeah, he was right all along. How does beefcake get taken? He goes looking for Kemper? They go back to the house looking for Kemper. Yeah, well, all want to lose my teeth and was like, do you have a mouthful of dentures? Because those are dentures. What do you do? I don't think you understand. But they realize that these cars are like all belong to random people and stuff. Yeah. So they go in looking for Kemper. Yeah. And this is where, and Beefcake Loses his leg to leather face. Right, it's like a thiiiiiiiiiiiiii. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their. their. their. their. th. Yeah. th. th. th. their. their. I's, th. I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I th. I th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's th. I. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. t. t. te. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. a chase scene. There's a lot of chase scenes in this movie.

A lot of padding, yeah. Oh my god. And he gets hung on the hook a la the first movie as well. But not like the first movie, you see every bit of it. It doesn't have that like, just the implication of it. Like, one of the scary things about the first movie is that you is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the. Like, the. Like, the. Like, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the about the first movie is that you don't see anything and this they're just like look at that shit look at it that's a separate egg. Well that's what I mean like when they would interview people leaving Texas Chainsaw Massacre they're like that's super bloody movie wasn't they're like definitely yeah but it wasn't and then this one it was like well I guess we'll be

different and they're just blood splattering everything at all times. And I mean, to be fair, it's 2003. That's the torture porn is like the thing. This feels very 2003. Looking at you, Eli Roth. Oh, and there's the whole scene where Blondie is sneaking into the house. Oh, and there's the whole to like put the old man off his game so he doesn't pay attention to blondie smoking in the house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she has to, there's that scene where he's like emptying his colostomy bag and she has to pick him up off the floor? I would just leave him I think. I mean like that's his house, he's clearly done this before. Yeah. It's very strange. And he's just grabbing her. to to the to the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the the the the's like, the scene the the the the the scene the scene the scene where he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like, the scene the scene. He's like, the scene. He's like, the scene. He's like, the scene. He's like, the scene. He's like, the scene. He's like, th. He's like, th. He's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. He's like, th. He's like, th. He's like, th. He's like, th. He's like, th. He's like, the th. He's like, thea. He's like, Arle, Ermey has already grabbed a dead woman's breast and it's true.

Down, down, it's true. Eh, what are you gonna do? I mean, like, this movie's terrible. this movie, everything's terrible. The boyfriend's face on Leatherface's face? Yeah. Is thought it was terrible. I remember seeing this movie. I saw this in the theaters. Oh shit. Uh-huh. And I remember thinking, well that was kind of good. And now as an adult. I feel like it would have been good if they hadn't forecast it. If you hadn't seen him sewing it. Yeah. Yeah. They're sitting at his like actual. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, with like a name tag that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that that that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was was that was was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was kind. that was kind. that was kind. that was kind that was kind that was kind that was kind that was kind that was kind that was kind that was kind that was kind that was kind that was kind that was kind that was kind that was kind that was kind that was kind. that was kind. that was that was kind that it if they had just like shown it to you and like... I think they probably thought you wouldn't recognize him. You had to be wearing that dumb hat. Oh God it's Kemper. Oh no. Oh no. Or leatherface turn around and said do I look like

like Kemper? So then Jessica Beale goes to, well I like cut out a bunch of this in my notes so I might be missing something. You tell me what happens next. So they go back to the van. They keep going back to that van. Yeah, because that's their only way of leaving. Right, but okay, go on. Arle, Ermey comes back and forces John Lennon to reen to reen the woman to suicide, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, the suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide suicide of suicide of suicide of suicide the woman on the road. It was kind of tense I guess. It was real weird. Yeah. And then he tries shooting him. Arly, Ermi, John Lennon tries shooting the

sheriff. But he does not shoot the deputy. No, put them back on. We're not done. Put your headphones back on. I think I'm just mad that you beat me to it. Someone had to say it and I just mad that you beat me to it. Yeah, someone had to do it. Someone had to say it and I just got there faster. The gun is no longer loaded. And this is probably the tensest scene in the movie, because it's got like the two women are beating on the van, like one of them saying shoot them and the other one saying,

yeah, peppered. Jessica Beale is Khan. Pepper, to be fair, they just met like somewhere on the way. She's not their friend. Yeah, when they're fucking at the beginning of the movie, she's like, I can't believe I just met you a day and a half? Yeah, can you believe they were the same yesterday? Yeah, that's what it was. Pepper to the law. And then the other house? This is where I started zoning out a little bit with the women in it. Yes, she takes off running because this is where John Lennon bites it

and Pepper's losing her mind. He doesn't bite it though, because he comes back later. Right. Oh, that's right. He, the, um, Arley Ernie takes him and he knocks his teeth out in the car. And then then then then then he and he and he and he and he and he and he he doesn't he doesn't he doesn't he doesn't he, he, he doesn't he, and he doesn't, and he, and he, he, he, he, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thinks is th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th-he, th-he, th-he, th-he, th-he, th-he, th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi is is is thi, thi, thi, thinks thinks is thinks is thinks is thinks is thinks is where is where is where thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, the car and then he shows him his dentures because this movie's really into dentures. And then we don't see them again for a while. Right. I don't remember what happens to Pepper. I literally don't remember her death.

I watched this this afternoon. That's how memorable it was. Yeah. I don't know. I'm checking my notes. I feel like they don't know. Well, Pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I. I. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. the to. the the the to. the to. the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. and Jessica Beale are trying to hot wire the van after John Lenny gets taken by the sheriff yeah it literally doesn't matter so I feel like anyone who will actually watch this movie is screaming right now like this is actually I'm sure she got

chainsawed let's just say she got chains on I like she didn't fall down the the stairs and break her neck probably. Doesn't make any sense. Probably. Probably. Although Jessica Beale does get thrown down a light of steps at one point. Yeah. To the basement that really needs like a French drain outside. Do they even have basements in Texas?

I know there's not one at the Alamo. I love that movie. So Jessica Biel's off running. She goes to the house with the the the the the the the the the the the the the te. the the the te. the the te. the te. te. the te, te, te, probably, probably, probably, the, probably, the, probably, probably, the, probably, probably, thi, the, probably, probably, probably, probably, probably, probably, probably, thoes, probably, thoes, probably, tho, probably, thi, probably. thi, thi, probably. thi, thi, thi, thi. thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I. I. I. I's, the. I's, the. It's, the. It's, thea. It's, tea. It's, tea. It's, tea. It's, tea. It's. It's, is. It's. It's, tea. It's, thea. That's a movie I love. So Jessica Beale's off running, she goes to the house with the tea lady who wants to give her tea and there's like the older woman is like trying to calm her down. Yeah. And that's where she sees the baby. Right. And immediately knows who the baby belongs to because they saw a photo earlier. That's why I have the note that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the note that's the note that's the note the note that's the note the note that's the note that's the note the note the note that's that's the note the note that's that's the the the the the the the the that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoom. th. t. t. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. the te. the the thethat says, Mason jar crafts, because the pictures were inside a mason jar,

and I remember being like, that's some stupid-ass Pinterest wedding shit right there. But it was like, it was like, piss Christ. It was like filled with urine and a photograph. Yeah, it didn't make any sense. There's so many ways in a movie to have the characters like an abandoned car. What? Fuck you. Fuck you in your stupid. This is where you're putting your creativity.

Dildo's. Ah, Kenny, I really missed you calling people Dildo. Thanks. I've still been doing it just not recorded. If it doesn't count if it's not on tape. So who was that woman and who was like, why was she there and why did she ever baby with her? Well, they're part of the family. The woman that they picked up the beginning.

Oh no, I don't know who the fuck she was. And that was her baby. Fine. Like, that's what they're saying. But did one of thoooo, th tho, tho, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. they. they. they. they. they're attention to. That's not your baby. She's all like drugged up though, so I guess whatever. Yeah, so she gets drugs, they basically roofier. She wakes up at the original farmhouse. That's when she gets thrown down the basement steps by Leatherface. She wakes up in early Irmi's crotch and he's not wearing pants.

I don't remember that either. And like the mom, the the th, th, thia thia th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, theeeeeeeean, theean, thinks, theeeeeeeeeea, thinks, that either. That's gross. The mom is like ironing his pants and telling Jessica Beale like the back story to leather face. Okay, I was a little zoned out, sure. And he's pouring beer on her face to wake her up. Yeah. to wake her up. Okay. And I was like, oh, the gazette scene ends with her being like, here are your pants and he just goes, thanks. Yeah.

Okay. Fine. So she finds Morgan in the basement, John Lennon. Yeah, Morgan's standing on an organ. And they, no, oh no, no, no, beef cake. Oh, that's not Morgan. Oh, that's not Morgan. Morgan's John Lennon. You're right. I. I. I. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. th. th. that's. that's. that. that. th. that. that. that. that. So, that. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. th. th. that. th. th. th. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. like 30 fucking times in the next scene. She killed, this was so dumb that she killed Beefcake, like, how is he not in shock, first of all? Yeah.

Two things, she tries lifting him off the hook, does not have the upper body strength to do it. She's like, push yourself up, like, the like Christ pose. It's dumb as hell. There's no way you wouldn't just be in shock and dead. So he says kill me. I'm already dead, just kill me. I don't want to suffer through this. And she's like no, okay I'll do it. Yeah. So the way she kills him and she stabs him in the stomach. It's a slow way to die. That's a slow. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. to to to to to to to to to to to theeeeeeeeeeeee. theee. the. the. the. the. the way to die. That's a really slow, but not for him. I didn't just slit his throat. Not for a beefkick. No. Please forgive me. Maybe he'd already lost enough blood. I don't, no, I don't care. I was like, how do you not slit his throat or stab his heart or?

I wish you couldn't reach. Get there's got to be a stepstool in that, that, that, the the the the the th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I in a certain position with your foot up, you can like feel it and it's very weird. I don't like know what's going on inside. That's how close you are to dying all the time. God, this movie's really done it for you, hasn't it? Yeah, I'm depressed. So she finds, then she finds John Lennon, and they like run off into Oh he's in a bathtub. Yeah they run off into like a meat locker. No they run to a slaughterhouse sure. No she's alone at the slaughterhouse though. No where do they run to a couch in front of the door

because I have to run to like a shed shack house. There's a lot of buildings in this lot of running. Yeah. Where they put a couch in front of the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the the tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tho tho tho tho tho tho-s tho-s tho-s. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-s. tho-s. tho-s tho a couch in front of the door where a man has a chainsaw. That's the one. Yeah. And they're both hiding in separate closets. Right, right, right. And she gets found and then Morgan sacrifices himself so she can live. Who cares? And prior to this Jeddahia was helping the Blair Meat Company. The meat locker fight scene is terrible. Terrible. That's like where it becomes really evident that she's a TV actor and not cut out for this.

You know what I mean? She's just like, ah, ah, like swinging it. Like, it's a choreograph fight where all she does is slap leather face, you know, with like a stick or something. How good, like pepper had an amazing scream. When that woman murders her, or she's herself on the head, the opening sequence, her scream is so good and I was like she should stick around because that's a good-ass scream. Yeah, she dies at some point we we don't know when. I bet you screamed. I couldn't tell you. Um, RIP Pepper. I guess.

RIPP. This is where my notes and the last note I have says the meat locker fight scene is terrible. So I think I gave up. So Jessica Biel gets a meat clavor and hacks off leather faces arm. Does she? Yeah. Okay. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, he's missing it at the end. Right. And then she gets out of the slaughterhouse, hails a Mack truck, driven by... Did you watch Friday Night Lights? Buddy, the used car salesman?

Oh yeah, I thought he was familiar. He's not Black Maria, though. Black Maria? From the original? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. He tries taking the, he, he he, he he, he he, he he, he he, he he, he takes, he takes, he takes, he takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, the, the, th, takes, takes, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, tha, tha, tha, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to-a. the. thi. to thi. to thi. to the thi. the thi. thi. to tories taking the he takes her back to the family basically back to their like barbecue gas station where they're all hanging out with the baby he's like genuinely good though he's trying to help her yeah she's crazy he's trying to wreck my truck she was trying to wreck his truck she really was yeah she hot wires the sheriff's car yeah yeah the the sheriff's trown the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr the the the the the the the the baby. Yeah, you don't realize she's stolen the baby until after she's run over the sheriff three times and then there's just a baby sitting on the front scene.

I was like, what? And like, half a coconut or something? Yeah, something weird. And the baby's just like, ooh? And the baby's just like, ooh? And then my least favorite scene in the the the flap? the movie.sss.s.s.s. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the end of the original when the girl is in the back of the truck and she's being driven away and leatherface is in the road just spinning around with the chainsaw and it's fucking... In broad daylight too which it makes it really scary.

Fucking terrifying. So in this movie a one-armed leather face is just on the the road and hits her car with the chainsaw and she's like after she did run over the sheriff like four times to make sure he's dead and I liked that. I liked that. Because you know my pet peeve about kill him to their dead. Kill them till they're dead. But it's just like it's like he was just wandering down the street spinning with a chainsaw like ah yeah yeah he's no longer like crazy or desperate. He's just like weird, I guess. My last note, fuck you, Michael Bay. Michael Bay is a fucking producer of this movie.

Did not know that. Yeah, you made one good movie. What was it? Bad Boys 2. Mm-hmm. Fair enough. They take the entire Miami Police Force to Cuba to rescue someone and there are no ramifications for it. That seems nuts.

I like that a lot. Ah, Katie. Yeah. Let's go to the ringing of bloating spills. Oh, you were saving that one. This movie's a garbage dump on fire and it stinks of... God, I hope you say 10. I can't even think of what it stinks of. That's how just upset and sad I am.

It smells like the water in that basement probably smells. Yeah. There are a lot of Texas chains on Massacre movies. Some of them have Renee Zell Weggar. Some of them don't. This one doesn't. Some of them have Dennis Hopper-wielding chainsaws, like he's a sword-wielding maniac. This one doesn't. Yeah. This one has Jessica Beal and her butt. Yep. And her titties. Mm-hmm. Two. It's pretty generous.

You think? Two. So I remember reading in Rue Morg magazine years ago when this movie came out, and everybody was shitting on it. Yeah, because it's shitty. It's where you put your shit on other shit. Right? That's how, that's how it works. And the verse in writing the article was like, you're right, it is shitty.

But on some level, this is somebody's Texas Jainswell Massacre. That's depressing. But it's going to be the movie that they saw when they were 10 that scares the shit out of them. Yeah, I guess. See, I saw the original Texas Jainsaw Massacre when I was like 20, and it scared the shit out of me. So. It's that weird, like, almost documentary style. It's the film stock. Like, everything about it is so good. Oh, the original. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, for sure, for sure. I remember like going to sleep that night thinking Leatherface was in my closet. I was an adult. That movie, grandpa's the scariest thing for me. Yeah, the the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, th. thi, thi, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the thi. the thtwo. It's garbage. It's a garbage shit dump show. They didn't even try. They, yeah, it seems like they saw Texas Janes on Massacre once and they were like, I could make that again. But without any of the spirit of the movie. Yeah, there's no humor in it, which Texas Jaintel has. Yeah, I guess Arle Army is like trying, like trying, like trying, like thi thu, like thu, like thu, like thu, like thu, like thu, like thu, like thu, like thu, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. th. th. ie is like trying. He's trying to make it funny. Maybe he's a fan of the movie. But it's like his humor is just gross.

Yeah, it's not the same, it's not the right tone. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because much it like that, the humor in the original like set you up for getting freaked out later. Right. It lets you guard down. Yeah, exactly. Well, fuck this. Yeah, fuck this garbage movie. I'm glad we did it. Yeah, it was fun. It was fun. Do you know what else is fun? What? Give it 35 bucks a month to the parcel of terror, Cryptoakirium.com. What do you get for 35 bucks a month?

Other than the fun of doing it? You get awesome pieces of art from Jason McKittrick and other artist. Jason does, he sculpts pins and pendants and magnets. Like the series of like Universal Monster Magnets is so fucking good. The Crypto Zoology series is also amazing. God damn it. And sometimes he puts that random stuff up that's in the parcel of terror like in his shop so like go to his Etsy. Yeah, you can buy like individual pieces, which is cool. But, so 35 bucks a month get to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th........................................................................................................................... can buy like individual pieces, which is cool. But so 35 bucks a month get you all this awesome stuff from Jason. It's the Halloween season. Boop-a-do.

Blipety-blop. Clipity-clop. Whatever. You know you want this stuff. You know it'll make your Halloween season that much better. So just go sign up for it. here? You know we're doing. Crypto Curium.com, CRYPTO, C-U-R-I-U-M. 35 bucks a month, see what's in the parcel of terror, get it delivered to your door, enjoy it. That's it. It's all. Quit making it hard. Become a member of the Order of the Thin Vail? Do it. Just do it. Just do it. I'm so sick of you guys. thi thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho it. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho tho tho th th th tho thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to thi. to thi. the. Get it the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to to to, thank you, Jason, for sponsoring.

Thanks. You're the best. Hey, what do we do next week? Katie. Something better than this, I hope. I hope so too, but I've never seen this movie, so I'm excited. What is it? Remember when we did the Burps?

No one was that? Like an hour and a half ago? in the movie The Sentinel in that. And it's been a movie that's been referred to as a bunch of times. Why? Because it's got Chris Surrandon. I love Chris Surran. He's so hunky. Just like Burgess Meredith, so hunky. And so it's finally available streaming.

It's on Amazon now. Amazon's. And I think there's a new DVD out from maybe Shout Factory. I don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho. the thi thi the the th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. the. the. the. the. the. the. new DVD out from maybe Shout Factory. I don't do DVDs. No. No. So we're going to do Sentinel finally. 1977, Chris Serrannon at his hunky-hunkiness. Yeah. Probably doesn't, sweaters probably aren't as good as Fright Night. Oh, those sweaters were unbeatable.

That sweater game is amazing. Amazing. So boatnecky. But I think it'd be funny, we haven't done the 70s in a minute. It'll probably be good to cleanse our palate after 2003. We've been to the 2000s, we've hit so, so, so, so, so hard. There's so much joyful hate in that era, though. I'm just full of age. Is it still the year of rage or was that last year? That was last year.

What are we doing this episode comes out, it's October. Yeah. My whole timeline is so screwed up. Yeah, by the time I'll have gone on vacation and be back by the time this comes out. I hope you have a good trip. Oh, thanks. Going to Salem, Massachusetts. That would be such a fun trip. I hope so. Yeah. So, yeah other people's find us. Allegedly! And we, you know, and it makes, it gets me a little both. It's true, it does make us happy.

So get us out on the internet. Yeah. And then come back next week for Sentinel. Yeah, and thanks for listening to another episode of... Bye. Bye. Bye.