Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 150- Midnight Meat Train (2008)

Episode Date: November 13, 2017

In this week's episode, we get really exasperated with a super dumb movie: the 2008 Bradley Cooper film "Midnight Meat Train." Special topics for your consideration include: Clive Barker's writing prowess, the truth about citizen's arrests, alternate titles for this movie, who Joey Lawrence may have become when he grew up, wretched effects and a variety of meat-based puns and jokes.  Did you miss our other Clive Barker film? If so, check out Episode 51- "Hellraiser." And since we've only done one other Clive Barker film, why not go watch the actress who plays Maya redeem herself in the 2009 film "Trick r Treat" and then listen to our episode about it, number 68. Have you seen this one? What did you think of it?  Let us know at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Twitter @werebulance or on Instagram @werewolfambulance. You can also email us for our segment "MAILBAG!" at [e-mail] and if you're feeling super generous, leave us an iTunes rating and review.   Guys, get yourself a post-Halloween gift...or get one for someone you love! Give the gift of handmade horror stuff delivered to you once a month by visiting our sponsor, Cryptocurium, at www.cryptocurium.com where you can sign up to have that sweet handmade stuff delivered to your door monthly via the Parcel of Terror. You can also get into The Order of the Thinned Veil, an appreciation society of all things Halloween that you should totally join. Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast. 

You see Alan, I'd rather live in his world than live without him in mine. Meat, meat world. Who? Who? Who fart it? Who fart it? Who would you rather live with in their world? Well, he's leaving on this midnight meat train to Georgia.

Who? Who would you rather live with in their world? Well, he's leaving on this midnight meat train to Georgia. Who? Who farted? Who would you rather live with in their world? Well, he's leaving on this midnight meat train to Georgia. God, how good is Gladys? She's phenomenal. Phenominal. How bad is this fucking movie?

The Pips are great too. Oh, love the Pips. She's not doing it without the Pips. I'll tell you what. Katie. Mm-hmm. I'm Alan. Pleasure to meet train you. Ew. Come on, ride the train.

Boop, choo, choo. There's a lot of the jokes we could make instead of talking about the movie. It's true. Fuck and I have gone. I can't even know theing about the movie. Like, it's true. Um, fuck and I have gone. I don't, can't even know their joke about trains. It's got a meaty script. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. Mm-hmm.

Bad guy's a footballer, right? Yeah, Viny Jones. Boy, would a meat head. No, don't clap. It's not. It's. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th-a. th-a. th-a. th-a. th-a. th-a. th-a. th-a. th-a. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th-a. th-a. th-a. th-a. th-a. th-a. th-n. th-n. th-n't. th-n't. It's-n't. It's-n't. It's-a. It's-a. I. I. It's-a. I. I. It's-a. I. I t-a. I-a. It's-a. It, don't, don't tell me I'm good. Brooke Shields is it? She, yeah, Dave was not, she looks great, was not buying her in that role. No, she's somebody's friend, she's got to be right. Yeah, because she was like, I haven't worked in a while. Ever since I talked to all that shit on Scientology, I haven't been around.

She was right. thi part of depression is real. Babies, it is. Here to tell you. Zinu isn't. No. And you know what is, fucking Zoloft. Hondo percent. Yeah, you tell him Brooke. Also, she like gives me hope that I can be middle-aged and have super buff arms. Yeah, she looks great. Fuck. Let's just watch a movie of Brook Shields. Let's watch pumping iron with Brooke Shields. Do you want to open that box? No? the th. th. th. th. No th. No th. No the th. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. th. No. th. th. th. movie or do you want to open that box that's sitting next to you that's a gift from Friend of the Podcast Ryan who we need to have on as guest of the podcast Ryan? Can I ask a question first? Sure. What's in the box? I don't know if you're gonna like what's in the box? Okay. Open it up. What is this? It's treats. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the? thi thi? that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's in that's in that's in that's in that's in that's in that's in that's in that's in that's in that's in that's in th. th. th. th. th. th. thi? thi? thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that that that that that that that's that's that's that's it up. Open it. What is this? What is this? It's treats. Treats!

Oh my god, it's black and orange. Popcorn. Orange, I'm cool with the black Y. I bet this makes your poop so green. Thank you, Ryan. Well, well, what's next? Carmel apple bites. Apple bites can open those right now. Apparently they have licorice in the center of the... Where's Elliesburg, Pennsylvania?

It's over on the other side of PA. Oh, this is a resealable bag and I tore into it like an animal. Guys, we're gonna eat on the podcast. You like that? I'm so sorry. Yeah, you're not going to go to reseal I. I don't like it but don't like a liquor. What's this? Fall Festival mix, which is candy corn mix. They're going to a fall festival mix.

Yeah. This is also resealable, so I'm going to hand it to you. Because you're like a responsible adult. And... A beautiful piece of art. This is amazing. I'm fucking James. This is awesome. Thank you, Ryan. You're killing it. Thank you. Yeah. That's really sweet.

I'm like, I was having a bad day. Did you open that fuf? No, no, I handed it to you to open it? I don't have any knives on me. Oh my god, it's resealable. I don't know to rush you. I was having a bad day and this totally turned it around. A. Alan's ripping into it with his teeth now he's the animal. I like to think of myself as a man-animal.

Did you tell me where Elliesburg P.A. Oh, the side of the person. Oh, see, you didn't know where you seal it either. Well, it's like that weird, waxy, candy corn chocolate. What's this orange? That's a kitten too. Oh, that's good. We gotta stop eating when we do this. It's true, but it brings us such a joy. Yeah. So Ryan, thank you.

And yes, you will be a guest soon on the podcast. We're gonna get back to guest episodes shortly. Yeah, we've got a bunch of people. I. tha. tha. tha. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. the. to the. to the. to tho. to to tho. to to thoes. thi. thoomea. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. We're that's. We're that's. We're that's. Wea. Wea. We're that's. Wea. We're that's. that's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. to stop you gotta, we gotta do this. This is episode 150. Why did we blow it on this shit? Oh, I'm so mad. I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, fine. It's garbage, garbage, garbage, garbage. What are we talking about?

Garbage movies. What's it called? Midnight Meat, Train to Georgia. Who's the author? Oh, what's... Clive Barker? I mean, come on. You ever reading that Clive Barker? Absolutely not. I've read a number of things by him. Have you read this? No. Good for you. Good choice. And maybe it's just my personal taste, but I am always let down by Clive Barker stories. Is it like it builds and then shit sits up at the end? Yeah.

Yeah. Kind of like this movie does. Yeah. It's like every season of American Horror Story. I've only watched the first one, yeah. But it's like good, good, good, good, good and you're like, the faux of this and thi.. th. th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, and then, like, like, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then... Yeah, and then. And, and then. And, and then. And, and th. And, and the th. And, the th. And, th. And, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, they. And then, the the th. like what the fuck get out of here with that is coach's wife in all of them? Just the first one got that beautiful beautiful locks of hair God damn it if I could have hair like that? Sameses. This is directed by the director of a movie called Verses a Japanese movie from the year 2000

that I absolutely love that's about like I don't know eternal sword fighting vampires that sounds awesome yeah it's pretty ridiculous know, eternal sword-fighting vampires. That sounds awesome. Yeah, it's pretty ridiculous. Way better than this. Why didn't we do that? I don't know. It wasn't on Netflix.

This is on Netflix. This is on Netflix. So it tellows you what the quality of the movie is based on what's on Netflix right now. So Netflix is just, I guess they're just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess, thi, I guess, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. th. theea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thi. the. th. th. th. I mean probably everyone else has talked about this on earth, but they're focusing on their like personal content now and- A lot of it is good too, to be fair. But it's not movies, and the movie, I haven't seen a good Netflix movie, have you? No, I'm three episodes into Mindhunter and really enjoying it. I love it. Also, I love when they, there's a scene where they're, they're, they're, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, too, too, too, too, to, to, too, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, to, to, tho.e.e. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to be my like literal corner bar and I used to drink there all the time. I wonder if I've seen that yet

It's like midway through the season. Okay. Keep your eye out for it You won't notice you it'll be hard to tell because it's like they cleaned to the inside of it the sketchiest dudes I've ever seen on earth playing pool in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that. Tos' th. Those th. Those th. Those th. Those th. T th. T th. T th. T th. T th. T th. T th. T th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho' th. It's the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. their. their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the other day I was like, I'm gonna do, I'm gonna do some cooking. Let me put on an episode of Foils War. Yeah, gone. What the fuck? How are you gonna take Foyles War away from? I don't know, I never finished it either. And probably I'll go over to Hulu though, because it seems like when things leave Netflix, they go to their thing that's keeping me alive. You know, you're crazy, you're crazy. You're crazy.

I started watching something really depressing, Hinterland. And then I was like, no, I'm just 30 Rock, here we go. And then I got like six seasons in and they took it off, but then literally the next day it was on Hulu. I feel like Hinter Land you need like, there's gonna be a lot. mental prep going into that show of like, I'm in a good place, I'm in a good place right now. I was like clutching a three-day old baby trying to figure out what the fuck these Welsh people are crying about.

I couldn't do it. Oh man. Yeah, fuck it. All right, so we've managed to avoid this movie long enough. I know we're eight minutes in and I'm still gonna keep just not doing it? Struggling photographer Leon Kaufman's... His name was Leon? I literally didn't know that. Leon Kaufman's obsessive pursuit of dark subject matter leads him into the path of a serial killer. Mahogany.

Okay, I'm sorry. The subway murderer who stalked late night commuters. Ultimately, butchering them in the most gruesome ways imaginable. His name of Mahogany. That I knew because when the conductor said it, I was like, the fuck? That's a name of a Diana Ross movie. You can't just be called that. None of your Vinny Jones.

Yeah, you're like, bananas white. So, here's like, bananas white. So here's the thing. We're supposed to like see him go into the spiral of like obsessing over this and connecting the dots and he's got the board with the push pins and the lines. At no point does he ever like spiral into obsession. He just like puts up the bulletin board and his girlfriend's like, this has to stop. She's fucking useless.

Ugh. I have the note in here that later on that says I aspire to be one day as dumb as Maya. She's so dumb. And that actress I like as a comedic actress, she's been in a, like, she's very funny in a number of things. She's in the second best NASCAR movie that's ever been made. Yeah, she is, you're right. And she's Bavarly on Burning Love? Did you ever watch that? No.

It's like a bachelor, bachelorette send up. Oh, okay. Okay. It's really funny if you like Ken Marino and I do like Ken Marino. Yeah, she's Bavarly. She's very, she's like a fake Southern accent and she's adorable. In this movie, she is a fucking sack of crap. And this is the second movie we've done with her. She was in Trick or Treat.

Yeah, which we just watched a Lady's Nightmare. Yeah, it was a good Halloween. the lady nightmare. . Hi, thla, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies, th, ladies, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, th, th. th. th. th. that, thi, thi, th. th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, she, she, she's, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. And, thi. And, tha. And, tha. And, tha. And, tha. And, tha. And guys are my friends. So we're following Bradley Cooper who's playing Leon Koffen whose name has never said in the movie. Do we have to see Bradley Cooper ever again? I don't think we can unsee him at this point. I don't think so either.

Also, I feel like Bradley Cooper himself had never used a camera because he seemed very unsure of what to do with it. He's just like holding it up to his eye maybe? I don't th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus. the the the, the, to thus. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the thean. thean. thean. to to to to thean. thean. to to do with it. He's just like holding it up to his eye maybe? Like, I don't know. I started watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer recently. Yeah. And Seth Green, beloved actor, Seth Green, love him. It's a guitar player in this TV show. And he's one of those guitar players who's like, no, you ain't never touched that thing before right now, huh? to that. Oh, theyn't. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the yeah. Oh I'm gonna watch it then. You know how I feel about Seth Green. It's fun. I'm enjoying it so far. I'm enjoying it so far. Yeah, yeah, fine. Mike. Mike. Mike. Mike. Mike. Mike. Mike. Bolem loves a lot of things that are questionably good. He likes getting mentioned on here. That's questionably good. Like right there, that's poor judgment, that's poor taste. In tandem with, hello, Nana. Hi, Nanna.

Hi, Jim. Hey, Emily. We're good? Yeah. All right. OK. So like take photographs. But he's trying to sell them as fine art, which I don't think really happens in real life, right?

No, I think so. Do you know anyone who's ever bought a photograph? Oh yeah, yeah. I live with a person who's bought photographs. From where? From other photographers? Where? At art shows. I've never seen this happen. Oh, the movie takes place in Chicago, I guess? Is it?

I think so. Well, it's, does Chicago's train go underground? Or is it only elevated? Oh, I don't know. Because it's the L.C. I think I thought it takes place in Chicago because of Candyman. Wait, what? Is Candyman in this movie? No, but it's a Clyde Barker thing. Ah, I don't think it's, I mean, if it's Chicago,

it's like, just desperately wrong. Yeah. I don't know. Where is it's, it's, I thrown. I tho, it doesn't matter. But since he can't sell any of his art prints because they're not very good, he's doing photojournalism. Which is a perfectly fine living and an easier way to sell photos. IMO. That's in my opinion.

Thank you. And Brooke Shields is a super famous artist who's like, uh, your stop is corrupt. Be more gritty. And he says something very stupid where he's like, um, your stop is carrap. Be more gritty. And he says something very stupid where he's like, no one's ever really captured the city in photograph. Sir? Yeah, they have. Yes, yes, they have. Yes, they have. Yeah.

Maybe not this, the city, whatever city we're in. The city, which just seems to be like menacing minorities, which is how he gets his big break. It's very comic bookie. Yeah, yeah, it is. If he had turned into bat ban at some point, you're like, oh, oh, I get it. Mm-hmm. So he's- But he also doesn't demote.

So, very brus-way in this. I don't know... I feel like I've liked him. He's in... he's good in Witt-Ho'an American Summer. Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm sure he's fine. I don't know if I've ever seen him in anything besides that in this. So I know of, I mean, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I mean, I, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I th, I th, I th, I'm, I th, I th, I'm, I'm, I th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm in, I'm in, I'm in th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th the th th the thin, I'm in th th th th thin, I'm in th, yeah, them silver linings, playbooks and stuff. Is he in action movies?

Because there's a lot of action sequences in this movie. Wait, is he, I think he's in one of those action movies where, like, he takes some pill that like lets him use all of his brain? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I actually thought that was like a CBS series until you said it was a movie, so I don't know. I wish you thought it was called Smart Action. Smart Action. Copyright, Copyright, Smart Action.

So he's gone out of the streets and taking photographs of people to try and get the photos that Brooke Shields wants, or whose name's Susan Hoff and I was like, that's the singer from the Bengals. You can't have that be your name. That's just not, it's not right. I do like that she's just like, get better. Yeah, do a better job if you want a job, which I agree. I feel like as a handsome man, he needs to be told that more often. But then he's also like lucky to be a handsome white man because he's just like like a the hea he. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, he's not asking anyone for permission or anything. Just being a grosso. Just by being on the street does not mean that you can have your picture taken and then have it sold. That's not right to me. I don't think so. I don't think so either. So he stops an attempted rape or he stops a pre-rape if you will an attempted

rape by pointing out security cameras to the dudes who are going to do the crime and I'm like these guys know where they are and what they're doing like they don't so they wouldn't be surprised it took me out of the movie yeah yeah menacing minorities is what they are and so he saves this woman and so he saves this woman to be a fashion model of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the the the the the the the the the th. th. the. the. the. they they they they they they are they're they're they're they're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th. the. the. the. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. I they they they're they they they what they are. And so he saves this woman. Turns out to be a fashion model. Of course she is. And he takes her photo, and it's okay, whatever. And then she gets on the midnight mitrain.

To Georgia? Gives him a big smooch and then gets on the train. Oh yeah, big smooch. And you see a hand hold the door open and it's got a readily identifiable ring. Because if you're a fucking serial killer, you should definitely wear signature jewelry, you know? Also, I have a note here that says, I bet he's the midnight meat train bad guy. I thought that the plot of the movie was going to be that he was having like a mental break. Oh, like disassociative? Yeah. And he was midnight meat train. But he's you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you should you should you should you should you should you should you should you should you should you should you you you should you should you should you should you should you you you you you you you you you, you you, you you you you you you you you you you you you. You you. You you you you. You you. You you you you you you. You you. You you you you. You th. You th. You th. You should th. You should th. You should th. You should th. You should thi. You should thi. You should thi, thi, thi sc. You should should should should definitely, thi se, thi se, thi se, thi se, thi se, thi thi thi thi thi th be that he was having like a mental break. Oh like disassociative? Yeah. And he was Midnight Me Train.

But he's not Midnight Me Train. Is it because of the dreams where he is the Midnight Me Train? Maybe. Maybe, I guess. Even though I think we saw Midnight Me Train's face at the beginning, so I don't know why I thought that. Well, I do like the first first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the the the the the the first, the the the the, the, the, the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. thrines, thrines, thrines, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train., train., train., train. train. thrithe train because you just see like she's in the foreground and blurry in the back is Vinny Jones like pulling up this giant hammer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he walks up and punches her in the face with it.

Yeah. He's pretty deease her, he'll tend to rest her face. Who thought that was a good title for this? The, Clive Bark, the same man who thought that that, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, th is, th is th is th is th is th is th is a, th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. And, th. And, th. And, th-s, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, the same man who thought that fucking with jeans on was sexy. Come to a daddy. Then we see after he hits her in the face, he starts undressing her and it looks like he's going to like dress her body. Oh really? Like feel dress you would have. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we cut back to Maya and Leon. They don't say either of their names until at least an hour into the movie.

Yeah, but they keep saying Jurgis over and over. That's not a name. I don't also care nothing for Jurgis. Am I supposed to have feelings for Jurgis? You don't like Nandi Patinkin? He was Nandy Ptinkin too. He was Nis or Mandy Pedinkin, Mandy Pidinkin. Well, Mandy Pidinkin and Jurgis. Mandy Ptink sings, yeah. He was here doing some songs. When I was a kid, he used to go on Letterman all the time. He would just like run onto the stage and sing a showtune and then like peel back out.

Like he'd gotten past security. Yeah It was always a Tony Randall would bring him on. It was the weird, I don't know why I was watching Letterman when I was like 12. Yeah, what a weird choice for you. I was also a big into the honeymooters at that age. That's adorable. It really is. I think I just needed more of a flintstones fixed my life. Yeah, for sure. The next, Leon sees that this woman has been murdered who he took a photograph of, so he goes to the police. Oh. Maya is totally fucking unconcerned by this. He's like, isn't this the same woman?

She's like, yeah, a lot of people die. People are like, people are like, they're like, like, they're day as dumb as this character. Imagine how wonderful her life was. She just probably hears like, she, in her head it's probably just like a bear riding on unicycle. I know. In this movie they do a lot of sleeping too and I just kept being like, God I'm so jealous of people sleeping. So I'm glad that we could have this like jealous of idiots moment here. Just jealous of moron sleeping. Yeah, like God bless you, why am I not you? Welcome to wherewulf napulence.

Oh. You can't sleep on the microphone. It hurts my eye. So he goes to the cops and the cop lady immediately just starts accusing him. Yeah, I would too. I was at that point accusing him of being Midnight M-Train. It's true. Like that you think that's the name of the killer.

It's better than mahogany. But later we find that she's in on it, right? She's part of Midnight Me Me time? I can't wait to talk about the fucking twist. I just like, when I just remember that, I feel like a part of me died. I wish you would just slowly thrown up. Just all over myself. So he takes the photos from the attempted assault to Brooke Shields, and she's like, oh, I like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I thi, I thi, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, thi. thi. thi. t tog. tog. tog. t tog. tog. t tog. t togu. togu. togu. togu. togu. t t t t assault to Brooke Shields, and she's like, oh, I like this. Squeeze your knee, squeeze your knee, squeeze your knee.

She says, whoa. And he's like, did you just say, woe? People don't say, whoa. And she's like, that's how good this is. I don't ever say, whoa. that's how good this is. One, not that's Joey Lawrence. That's Joey Lawrence. Whoa. Oh, that was really good. Is Joey Lawrence, did he become Keanu Reeves?

No, he became Howie Mandel. Oh, I see. So, uh, so Coop is now excited because Brooke Shields is like, hey, get two more of these photographs and you can be in my show. Right, get two more pre-rapes. Shit. It was so weird. And she's super flirty with him now.

Yeah. And Jurgis had warned him that that would be the case. He also like warned him that she was by. And like, Bradley Cooper is so distressed by that news. He was kind of like, who would believe that this attractive artist woman might be by? Yeah, in 2008. Fuck off. Yeah, fucking Bradley.

God! So next we go to my favorite scene, which was Ted Ramey's brother. So next we go to my favorite scene, which was Ted Ramey's brother. the. Jamie being in the movie, which I was very excited about. Who's that? It's Sam Ramey's brother. OK, I'm sure. He was the, there were the threesome that was on the train. Oh, yeah. Like the business dude and then the business dude and his wife. And Ted Ramey was the guy who gets hit in the back of his head, super shitty. Yes. I don't know but I loved how crappy it was. It's so bad. It looks like

a made for TV movie when the eyeball effects happen. It really does. Like why? I mean if you have a budget to get, I mean Bradley Cooper, I mean Bradley Cooper. I mean Bradley Cooper. I mean, Bradley. Cooper, I mean Bradley Cooper. He was probably just Brad Cooper. I mean probably come Coop. Well he wasn't Bradley Cooper. He was like, the that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. th. th. the the th. th. the the the the th. th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the to. the the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. the. probably just Brad to his friends. Brad Coop. They probably call him Coop. Oh yeah. And then he's like, don't call me that because what hot American Summer? There's Coop and what out American Summer? Michael Show Walter. Oh, okay. I have been as coops. What's up? Capes? So Ted Ramey gets hit in the back of the head, his eyes pop out of his head. This is again, this is Vinny Jones that's doing this now, our killer, mahogany. Can I just say that none of these scenes are scary? Oh God, no.

No, no, they're at best silly. Yeah, at best. If you're being generous, they're silly. But it does, I do like, I do like, their. leads to his wife trying to run away, slipping on his eyeball and landing in a pool of his blood. And I was like, that's pretty dope. It was pretty good. That's pretty good. There's a lot of slipping in blood in this,

which fine, I mean blood's slippy. Oh, that's right, there's that original kill. Or the the the the while he's tenderizing his face. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. But then the conductor comes out and like, oh no, this is later, later, later, later. That's later that that happens, yeah. So Coop sees Vinny Jones, mahogany leaving the subway. Wait a quick question. Has Vinny the the th Vinny th v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v ve thoan thoan thion, thion, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thoome thoome, thoome, thoom. the the thoom- thoom- tho- tho- the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the, the, the, the, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the, the. theateateateateate. teateateate. teateate. teateate. theat Okay. Lockstock and two smoking barrels. I've seen that and I know I would like it.

It's really fun. It's probably the most fun guy Richie movie I've seen. Okay. That or snatch. I really like snatched. Yeah. Is he's a today. the Skion of the, like he was the thug. Yeah, he was the thug. And there's a great story about like there was a goalkeeper who his team could not get any th- any balls passed. So he was like, oh, I got this one.

So he kicked a ball, made the goalkeeper jump for it. So he landed with his hands the hands the hands the hands the hands their their their their their their their their their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. their is thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. And the the their is a their is a their is a their is a their is a their is a their is a their is a their is a their is their is their is. And th. And th. And th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. Yeah. thi. thi. thi. the. the. thea. He's thea. He's thea. He's thea. thea. thuggoooooooooooooooooooooooooo. And th. dude's hands. That's disgusting. It's fucking disturbed because he's like six, five, and 200 pounds. And like, I just mangled the guy's hands. I was just like, oh, you're a fucking monster. Yeah. Well, good thing he's Midnight Me train. He's the Midnight Meat Train. Midnight Me Train. Yep. We need a midnight meat training montage. It's hea hea hea he he he he he he he he he he he he. It's. It's. It's. the he. thrain. thrain. thrain. thrain. thrain. thrain. thrain. thrain. thrain. thrain. thrain thrain thrain. thrain. thrain thrain thrain thrain thrain. thrain. thrain. thrain. thrain. thrain. thrain. thrain. train. It's thrain. It's thrain. It's thrain. It's thrain. I I thrain. I thrain. I thrain. I thrain. I thrain. I thrain. I thrain. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. It's thi. It's like thi. It's like thi. It's like thi. thi thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I just just just just just ma. It's just a highlight reel of his career.

So Coop season coming out, and Coop's like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna tail this guy because I'm some sort of detective now. And just photograph him without like hiding it or anything. I'm just gonna stand here in the street and take his photo. Every photo is Vinny Jones turning around and going, huh. Sure fine. Vinny Jones like turns the the the the the the the the he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he the the the he tre tre tre the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th real real real real real real real real real real real real real real th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is he he he he he he tree tree tr. tr. tr. tro tru. tru. tru. tru. trut. trut. trut. trut. trut. trut. trut. trut. trut. tru. tru. te is te is te Jones turning around and going, hey, sure fine. And he's, Vinny Jones like turns around a corner, Coop runs after him, he stops and grabs Leon and is like just stare at him, doesn't say anything. And this is supposed to be the intense scene.

I guess. It's not intense, it's just silly. I'm too tired for it to be intense. It's just dumb. I cannot bring myself to care about a a to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th thi. th thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. the the the th. the the the th. the the thi. the thi. thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. try. ti. ti. ti. ti. t dumb. I cannot bring myself to care about a goddamn thing in this movie. And I don't even think that's me. I think that's the movie. Sure. OK. I would agree with you. Thank you. And through these photos, he notices the signet ring, that is Vinny Jones is the murderer. So now he's full-blown infatuated, he's, he's, he's, he's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. toed. t t t t. t. t-a. t-a. t-a. t-a. together. theeeeea. tho. the. the. him going into it. Yeah. That should be the

end of the movie. Go to the police. Yeah. And wipe your hands of this situation. Right. Instead he gets a bulletin board like you do. And starts following this man around at his job. And yeah his job which is at a meat packing plane. Which Vinny Jones sees Bradley Cooper tailing him in in the meat packing plant. Which Vinny Jones sees Bradley Cooper tailing him in in the meat packing plant. And photographing him yet again. From like waist level it's so good like hey my dick's gonna take a quick pick of this guy. It's a dick pick. A real dick pick. The only acceptable dick pick is when your dick takes a pick. But it does lead to my one of my favorite notes that I made because Vin John starts chasing Coups through the meat packing plant and I the the the the the the the the the the the the th and th and the th and the th. the the th. th. th. And the th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And the. And the. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. And the. And the. And the the the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. the they. they. they. tea. tea. notes that I made because Vinny John starts chasing

Koops through the meat packing plant and I have Hide and Go Meat. You're so pleased with yourself right now. You just slapped your own back. It's not even a pun. No, it's not. But you know what? It's clever than any part of this movie. Oh God. So this just keeps going up.

Yeah, there's like a really big fight scene between Mahogany and a guy that he attacks on the train. Right. Who like puts up a fight and has his own weaponry? Yes. And then the conductor comes out. Yeah. And it's like, Mahogany you sons up bitches. He shoots the guy that Mahogany is fighting. Yeah. And tells him to clean up the mess. This is where we learn his name is Mahogany. I thought I had misheard, to be honest with you.

I looked at the guy calls a citizens arrest on him. Yeah, I love that. I have a question. Is that real? Can you do that? Yeah, an MP followed him and like, a military policeman. Oh. But that's not a citizens arrest and he has authority, right? Well, he wasn't, he wasn't on duty.

So he was just in his civvies. And he like made him pull over and wait for the cops. Wow. Yeah. So, thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. tho. tho. tho. thi. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. thi. thi. thi. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. See something, say something. To whom? Uh, call 911. Don't do a citizen's arrest. I want a citizens arrest someone for like, you know what I mean? Criming me?

Like, doing crimes? Like, someone toubts. Like someone touched my butt on the street. I should knock them to the ground and say, this is a citizen's arrest. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th arrest. th arrest. th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi tho thi thi thi thi thi thi, I th. I thi thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I th. I thi. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to thi to to to to to to to to thi to to to to thi to thi thi thi thi thi thi. Yeah, yeah. I completely endorse that. 100%. I hate people criming me. I'm so sick. Oh, as do I. Speaking of crimes, this movie is a crime. They're in there somewhere is a scene where Vinny Jones is, he's dapper as fuck, by the way. He's like dressed to the nines, which I really appreciated because it doesn't make any sense for what he's about to do. And for his profession or his life life th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th th th th th th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I thi, thi, I'm thi, I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. I, I, I th. I, I, I th. I, I th. I, I th. I th. I, I th. I th. I th. I, I, I th. I, I the, I thi, I thi, I'm, I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I'm, thi, thi, the way. He's like dressed to the nines, which I really appreciated because it doesn't make any sense for what he's about to do.

And for his profession or his life or anything. So he's got a cough, which we can all identify with. I don't remember. He has a recurring cough throughout his time in the movie. Really? He takes he opens his shirt at the tap. Pollops? Nipples, yeah. You went with nipples? I was, I was, I, just looking at my notes and I didn't know I had a note that said, nipples, question mark.

Yeah, he's covered in, they look like little like pieces of snossages or taped to his chest. Yeah, it's real shitty. But he cuts them off and puts them in like formaldehyde and jars and a captain. why they. Why. Why? they. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? th for? th for? th. Why? th. they? they? th. they? th. they? th. th. they? they? th. they? they? they? th. th. th. they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. tode. toda? toda? toda? th. th. the. the. the. the. they're they're they the. so many things in this movie that are inexplicable, like that, like, in the next scene, we've been told that Bradley Cooper is a vegetarian, he's only eating tofu or whatever, and all of a sudden he's like really into steak, why? He wrote that meat train, dog. Once you go meat, I didn't, I didn't go meet. Bleat? Blit. Discreet? Discreet. Neat?

Uh, shit. So we've also just skipped over the scene where he gives her a pre-engagement ring? He was just like, oh, do you want to show that you're the worst partner? Yeah. Give a pre-engagement ring? Don't know? Why not to say, this is a token of my love, to thuu, tho, tho, th tho, tho, th th th tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, thi, thi, thi, thi, th went out to say, this is a token of my love will get married. Why does it happen? And she's like, I love it.

Let's fuck on the counter and my diner where I work. Gross. Really uncomfortable sex scene. She did not appear to be enjoying it at all. I wondered if that was. OK, first of all the chemistry. A poop and a poop. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the poop and pee go together. A poop and a Sunday? What? A poop right on top of Sunday.

Oh, like an ice cream sunday. I thought you meant. Not a poop Sunday. Sundays are a day for pooping. It's like, it's the Lord made them for pooping. Relax, you know? They do not. Like water and fire.

At any point, do they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they do not. Like, water and fire. At any point, do they seem like they like each other? No. So I didn't know if that was meant to be like, something is wrong in their relationship? Or if it was just like, this is the best we can do. This is the best you two will work. Often it doesn't seem like the two of them are in the same scene together. She's like, you're going crazy and I'm like, where? He's just like making a sandwich. Yeah, exactly. Lots of inexplicable things happening in this movie.

I do like the scene where mahogany is waiting on the train. Every time you say it, I get madder. Two kids walk up and they're like selling candy bars. Bradley Cooper didn't buy one because he's a dick. And they go up to mahahah they're like, hey man, buy a candy bar. And he goes, uh, and reaches his bag and pulls out a dollar and buys a candy bar and I was like, what do you go to do with that candy bargany? You think he doesn't eat it? There's no food in his apartment we find out later. Oh yeah.

Oh, so you think so? I the case. I don't know if really you have to explain that. I'm gonna explain it to you. Cool because my next thing just says who cares about this? So the sneak in a pix and the chasing around just keep happening. Bradley Cooper starts going like manic. It just seems like he's had too much coffee and he's trying to explain to somebody. Like he's been doing such a poor job of following this man that it would not surprise me to see him wearing the like fake glasses with the nose and mustache attached, you know what I mean? And like he's killing these people on

the train but like nobody ever gets on the train? Right. Why? How can you predict that? I mean and I don't explain it to me? It's explaining more. I like the whole thing where the train keeps going down the wrong tunnel and skipping stops and everyone's reaction is, oh man what the fuck? Yeah, pretty much. And then they get murderized. And the car will change to the green line at some point. It's not always the green line, it'll change. I don't care. I don't thi the the the thuuu thu th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, thoomo, tho, thi, the the thi, thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, the an the an tean, train, train, train, train, train, train train train train train train train te, te an thean,, don't know. I'm just trying to figure it out. I don't care. This is like one of the angriest I've been. Okay. You're so angry that you seem mellow

right now. Is it just a quiet rage? It's just like I can't even, I can't even muster the fire to yell. There's the sea where Coop follows him again, gets on the plate, it gets on the train. This is going on for days in my life, not in movie time, in real time. It goes on, this movie is for fucking ever. And he eventually gets knocked out and hung up. Does he? Yeah, he's hung up by his ankles. And then he wakes up to a blood monster rubbing scars into his chest? What? I must have missed that? You know, it doesn't make any, it doesn't make any more sense. That's how he got that weird symbol carved into his chest. I wondered how he got that. It didn't make sense.

It looks like, I don't know, the Warhammer thing. Yeah, it's supposed to, yeah, it's ridiculous. I don't, well I don't know. Oh, I meant to mention earlier that when we're in the art house that are the art gallery that Brooke Shields runs, all the paintings on the wall are Clive Barker's paintings. That's stupid. Clive Barkers is jerking off like, oh my shirt, this is all my star, this is my movie, this is my movie, thue, thue, thue, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, it's is a, it's is a, it's a the the the, it's, it's a the the the thi, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I I I I I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's a the the the the the the tho, I's a tho'er, I'm a the the the the the the the the tho. And, I'ma, I'ma, I'ma, I'm the thi, oh, this is all my shirt, this is my star, this is my movie, these are my paintings, I'm an artist. Ah, come to Daddy. Oh, he would have jeans on, wouldn't he?

Yeah, yeah. Jerking it through his jeans. Should have been the name of this movie. So, uh, Jurgis and Maya go to Midnight Meat-Trans apartment because Bradley Cooper's freaking out and they're trying to figure out what's going on. Somehow they knew where he lived. I don't remember the scene where they got told where he lived. This is after he's been rubbed by the blood monster and got the thing on his chest. You know what, my notes have just gone full psychotic. I do not know what's happening at all anymore. Is there someone in this movie looks like meatloaf?

Is there? I just have a note that says, that's meatloaf at the office. And I don't know what it means. Not that I remember. Weird. Weir. Weird. Weir. And then the next note I have says, I just realized I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I'vething says, I just realized I've been looking out the window for the last

few minutes. I don't remember writing that. I must have just been looking out the window. Maybe that was when you got this chest thing. I think so. Oh man, what about birds? So, Maya and Jurgis go to his apartment, go to the Midnight Me Trains apartment.

There's a cool scene where the camera's like rotating around the apartment, showing them go from room to room and then shows mahogany come home. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they find that he has no food in his apartment, but every drawer has has surgical tools in it? Like you do. And when he comes back he puts his bag down, mahogany this is, and Maya comes out and looks through it and it's got a hundred years of train schedules in it. Why you would save those? I don't know. To which I said, Clyde Barker, you love dumb shit. Such dumb shit.

Clybarker's so dumb. Like it's like, it's like we're supposed to be like what? And it sounds like why? Yeah. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, that, like, like, that, like, like, that, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, a, like we're supposed to be like, what? And it sounds like, why? Yeah. I mean, like, probably I have a 54C schedule from 2003 in a bag in my closet, but like, that doesn't make it cool. Are you the midnight meat bus? I did circle certain ones because it was like my roots or my, my stops. I'm covered in snosages. Yeah, they're nipples. I have 36 nipples. My baby's so stoked.

This movie is driven us insane. I'm midnight meat train. So the big battle comes. Jergus gets stalled. Who cares? The big battle comes, Bradley Cooper goes to the meatpacking up to get all meat packing up. So he covers himself on like a metal apron and all these knives. And he goes down to the subway to fight to fight to fight to fight to fight to fight to fight to fight to fight to fight the the the the the the to fight the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their. I I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. I. I. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. I. I. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the t. tip. tip. tip. tip. the the tip. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the he covers himself on like a metal apron and all these knives.

And he goes down to the subway to fight the meatman. It becomes a dumb action movie for a while. I hate it. Their fight sequence, which isn't the worst fight sequence, but it has like the most boring metal soundtrack to it. Yes. Dung, ticka, the-dunk, diggity, dunk, tick-diggity. It's just like they googled like generic guitar rock.

And then Maya is there too, right? Yeah, and because they both see that Jurgis has been hung up and he's all bloody. And okay, so we've seen bodies hanging on the, okay. Okay, so they're all dead except Jurgis, Why is Jurgis alive? For the shock. Okay. Because he has to get his tum-tum cut open and all of his insides to become outsides. I don't think that's how blood works by the way. It doesn't just dump out of you. You are like, we might all be just like meat bags, but we're not just like balloons filled with blood. to the best of my knowledge. I am not a doctor nor am I a a midnight meat train. I mean, I hope never to find out. No, no, no, no.

So this is all leading up to the midnight meat train driving down further, further, and further underground. Right? I guess. Don't say right. I don't know. And they are basically in like primordial earth. Why? I don't know, but that the tracks go there. Yeah. Oh, and we've already found out that Maya went to the cop, talked to the cop. The cop was like, you're dumb, leave. And she pulled a gun on her. I was like, don't put a gun on a cop, you fucking idiot.

And there's no consequences for it either. Because the police station I guess. I handle all the subway crimes. Yeah I'm Subway Cop. That's my beat. I'm midnight meat cop. It's stupid. It's stupid. So they go under their the conductor, Bradley Cooper and Vinny Jones have this ridiculous fight. The conductor explains to Bradley Cooper what's going on. It's the like I would would have got away with it, sort of. It's like, here's how I did it. And the whole premise to this movie

is that there are 10 monsters living in the center of underneath city. And if we don't bring them bodies, they'll come up and kill everybody. OK, I almost like that. I like the idea of like, like, like the idea of like, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's and kill everybody. Okay, I almost like that. Okay. I almost like that. I like the idea of like, these people are going missing, it's because their bodies are being sure to these monsters that we have to keep at bay. Very lovecraftian.

Sure, that's maybe that's why I like it. There's a lot of dumb things about that because they're they're like, you they're they're like, you, you, you, you, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the idea. I like their, the idea. I like their, their, their, like their, their, their, their, their, like, their, their, like, their, their, their, their th. I the, the, the. I like, the. I like, the. I like, like, like, like, the. I like, like, like, like, the. I like, like, like, like, the'd still have fucking skeletons, but okay, whatever. Right. The piles and piles of skeletons that they're walking on. Right. And if the train line goes there, like someone's eventually going to find them, municipal services in whatever city this is cannot be that poor. Right. Unless maybe the mayor's in on it. So I kind of like that turn. Yeah. But there's just so much garbage. Like why does he have to pull out their nails and teeth to give them to the monsters to eat them? I assume they can't digest them. Oh, because there's a round them. Like I eat a chicken wing.

I don't like just fucking swallow it. There's, I the the the the they. I's. the the the they. the they. the they. the the they. they. the they. they. they. they. they. the. the, the, thea, the, the, the, theate, the, the, the, the, their is. But, their is. But, their is. But, their. But, their. But, their. But, their. But, their. But, their. But, they. But, they. I's, they. It's, they. It's, they. It's, their. It's, their is, their is, their is, their is, the, their is just just, theateateateatea, theateaugh, theateateatea, theatea, their is just just. But, their is just. But eat the bone I don't like just fucking swallow it. There's a protracted scene of Vinny Jones like taking out the teeth and fingernails and scooping out the eyeballs of these kids. Is this funny them to gladware? Yeah he's putting them in this scene? I was like does Gladware know you're going to use and still afford to lose or whatever? Do they know that you are using their their th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the thi their thi thi thi thi their thi their their their thi their their their they're their their their their they know that you are using it in this scene? It's so ridiculous. But so like, okay, so they're down in this primordial area of this of city. Right. And like, he's just going to kill Bradley Cooper. And I like actually rewound to see where Maya was and why she wasn't helping.

She just disappears. For a little bit, until you see your dead body on top of a pile of other bodies. Look at my next note. I guess dead or something. Sorry. So they basically like, Vinny Jones is dead, so he has to be, and he was dying. So Bradley Cooper's been chosen as the new Midnight Me trainer. But they film it in such a way that he's like on the train and it's filmed from behind and then he like turns around and you see his face and you're supposed to be surprised? You know I fucking knew it was Bradley Cooper that you just literally just told me that.

You literally just told me. Also they rip out of his heart that the tiple of doom style which is fine. And then he takes a bite out of it. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, or, or, or, or, or, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, like, like, like, like, like, like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I f, I f, fu, f, fu, f, f, f, f, f, f, f, f, f, f, f-I, f- mouth. It's fine. It's so stupid. It's fine. I think my problem with the turn of it being these monsters that you have to feed human bodies to, is that they just seem like little monkeys? Yeah. And they're not like, I don't think that these things could rip the city apart. Show me at some point that there's there's there's there's there's their their their their their their their their their their their their their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is threat is threats. strong guess. Don't get me wrong. But you've unleashed 10 monkeys on City. The damage will be fairly contained before someone gets to them. All the effort

that's going into keeping this going, keeping this midnight me train of going would be better put. Go and back to fun. It's just... It's inexplicable. Like how, what? There are so many questions in my head. I don't even care to express them. Okay. Would you care to move on to the midnight ratings meet phase? Mmm, I guess. Three, no, two and a quarter.

Oh, it went up. No. No. No. No. No. It went up. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. It. No. It. No. It. It. It. It. It It. No. It. It. It It. It It. It It. It It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It is. It's. It's. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. the. the. there. the. the. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to No. Two. No. Two. No. Two and a quarter. Oh it went up. No. No. No. One. 1.75. It's terrible. It's wretched. It is no heart. Nobody gave a shit. The effects are terrible. It's gross for the, just for the purposes of being gross. Like the taking out of the teeth and nails it has fine actors looking like idiots it just is awful it's written by a child it's just monstrously bad it couldn't it could barely be worse and it's called midnight meat train that's so dumb it's so dumb it's so dumb it's so dumb it's called Midnight Meat Train. That's so dumb. It's so dumb. Ugh. It's so like, it's so fucking on the nose.

I just got so bad. I think I just burst a blood vessel in my eye while I was sitting there. I'm sorry, I know I cut you off. Mahogany. Why? Why? Why? Here's the thing. This is the second time I've I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi? th. th. thi? th. th. th. th. th. th. thi? thatheat. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. thi. the. to. the. the. the. thi. the. the. thi. the. thi. the. th. this is the second time I've seen this film.

Really? You saw this before. I enjoyed it way more the second time because I think I knew the shit fest that I was getting into. Yeah. It's what at no point is it like even silly? Like it's not even... Other than the slipping on your husband's eyeball. That's good. That's not enough. No. I'm going to give to give to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be their to be their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thoom. thoomoomoomoomorrow. thooooooomoom.s.s.s.s. thoooomoom. their ss. their ss. their'm gonna give it a strong three.

Whoa. I just find there to be literally almost nothing redeeming about this movie. I think it's bumped up slightly by how much I love the dude's other movie versus and another movie he did called a Zumi but this movie is just not at all. I don't know what happened. I know what happened. Clyde Barker. Yeah. Write that one down, Clive. Here's your twist. Is Clive Barker, is Clive Barker like M-Night Chama-On?

They always have to have a twist? No. No. It always seems to me that like he just can't end a story. Like there's a story story called Rawhead Rex, which spoiler alert for people who are gonna read Rawhead Rex. I think we've talked about this, I'm having deja vu. Did we talk about this during Hellraiser? We might have, so I'll go quickly,

but the whole thing is there's like this monster from medieval times that comes up and starts chomping everybody. And the way you get rid of him as a potato-shaped rock is like- All rocks are potato-shaped, that's what a potato is. And vice versa, all potatoes are rock-shaped. I mean, like, I guess someone who's writing is that shitty and who has, does it professionally, like, has had success at it,

could think that Bradley Cooper could sell those photographs. You know what I'm saying? It's, I mean, it's weird because I think he is held up in the same, like, the same esteem that like Stephen King is. Really? He's hugely popular. Really?

People have read multi-hundred pages of books by this gentleman. Like he's not like, he's he's not Coons or King. Keints. But he's definitely the B team. He's like. No, you're right. You're right. But it's just like, for me, it's just like, it's always a miss.

It's always like, I like hellraiser. I will say that. I like hellraiser. I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, the the the to like, the to the the to the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, the the the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. te. te. tean, tean, tean, tean, tean, tean, te. te. the. th one in space? No, that's like 27 or right. I would like to do two at some point because it's absolutely ridiculous. There's a point where someone is wearing someone else's skin and there's like their bodies are so disproportionately sized and it's hilarious. We've been talking about how raucour to their to'race. this about your love of Jesus Christ, the Lord and Savior? Close. Tell me more, I guess. It's about the Cryptocurium Parcel of Terror. That is close.

Tell me about it. Friend of the podcast, a longtime friend of the podcast, maybe our longest friend. Oh, the people we don't know and didn't know in real life before we started this, for sure. Jason McKittrick does a thing called the Parcel of Terror, which is a monthly subscription box that you get from him that's got all of these super awesome hand sculpted magnets, pins, wall flax. He's got art prints from guest artists. He sometimes has stories, sometimes there's candy,

sometimes there's a cup, sometimes there's bags that you can put all this stuff in and wear it on your back. Yeah. Wear it like the skin of a hellraise or two. Sometimes there's candy that you can eat like Bradley Cooper's tongue. It's amazing stuff. Go to the underscore Cryptocuriumium on Instagram. Check out his stuff. You will fall in love. You will sign up immediately. 35 bucks a month. Cryptocuriumium. to. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. Yeah. Yeah. C. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I.. I. I.. I. I. I... I. I. I. th... the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. will fall in love. You will sign up immediately 35 bucks a month Cryptocurium dot com Give this man your money. Give him your money. C-R-Y-O-U-M dot com

P parcel of terror. Katie. Alan. So I'm a vegetarian. I'm a former vegetarian. We just did a meat movie movie. Maybe we should do something different next. No, let's do more meat. Okay, what do you want to do? Let's do a meat rock block. A meaty block of horror. Let's do... Raw, Monday night Raw. No, just Raw. That's a, that's one of them Belgian French films, isn't it? I have a lot to say about that. So Raw, it's also on Netflix th Netflix th. It's also on it's also on th. It's also th. It's also th. It's also th. It's also th. It's also th. It's also th. It's also th. It's also th. It's also th. It's also th. It's also on th. It's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. the th. th. th. the thi. the. the. the. the the the. the the the the. the the the. the. the the. the. the. too. too. to to to to it's also on Netflix. We're giving you guys freebies for the

past couple of ones. Yeah, and we're doing the best we can. So yeah, go watch go watch Raw and then go watch the movie Raw. And then we'll be back, watch the WWRA. Sure, sure, sure. It's like four fucking hours I think so you're just gonna take you a while and we'll be back next week to talk about it yeah get at us on the internet if you want to talk you know where to find us you were on the internet you get on that googs just goog it so the kids are saying nowadays right gug it god I hope not it sounds it sounds mildly offensive somehow it sounds it sounds terrible yeah so, and leave us an iTunes review. That's how other people find us.

Figure out who gave us that one-star review and go find him. It's definitely a man, a woman would never do that. 100%. Yeah, they would just be like, it's fine, it's a two. Didn't somebody do a study about that, men. Maybe I'm misremembering that. No, it sounds right. So yeah, go to the internet, leave us kind words. Only kind ones. I mean, I won't hear nothing else.

Send us emails and get in touch with us. A lot of people have been doing that lately. It's been very exciting. Yeah, and tell a friend if you don't like it's. And to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to their the their their their their their their their their their their. their their. their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. th. th. the. thi. thi. th. thanks for listening to another episode of Wearwulf Amulance. 150! Holy shit! Bye. Bye. the