Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 169- The Village (2004)

Episode Date: March 26, 2018

You know how sometimes you think to yourself, "man, I should watch all of M. Night Shyamalan's films and then dissect them in dizzying detail with my friend on our podcast, maybe people will like that?" No? Anyway, we thought that, so we hopped onto Netflix and watched the 2004 film "The Village." Special topics for your consideration include: reviewing a movie without actually seeing a movie, free marketing for the state of Wyoming, urban animals, good twists, bad twists and semi-bad twists, and our friend and yours, M. Night Shyamalan. Did you miss our other M. Night films? Check out a very early-but- goodie, Episode 12- "The Happening" and a much more recent addition, Episode 157- "The Sixth Sense." Also, please join us next week for a very special April Fools' episode.  Have you seen this one? Where do you come down on this twist ending? Let us know your thoughts at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Twitter @werebulance or on Instagram @werewolfambulance. You can also email us for our segment "MAILBAG!" at [e-mail] and if you're feeling super generous, leave us an iTunes rating and review.  Check out our sponsor this week as well: Cryptocurium (www.cryptocurium.com) where cool horror stuff gets handmade and then lovingly delivered to your door in the form of the Parcel of Terror on a monthly basis. You can also sign up for their secret society, The Order of the Thinned Veil, in which you can profess your love for all things Halloween and be rewarded handsomely for it! Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast.

Howdy, partner. Yehaw. We're welcome to the Old West where we're doing a potting cast. I'm interested to see where this goes. Well, I've taken you back in time so that we can pretend like the world is in an evil place. And we're just living in the olden times and everything's better. Well, I've taken you back in time so that we can pretend like the world is in an evil place and we're just living in the olden times and everything's better back here. What is this era? Earlier. Okay so this is the old

West where nothing was wrong ever. Right just like 1897 America nothing was wrong for anybody, everything was fine. No rampant sexually transmitted diseases or tuberculosis or gunshots or fights with other cultures or... No, no we're good. Everything's good. Okay. We're just living on this like old-time a pioneer commune over here. Come check it out. I'm in. Welcome to another episode of WhereWFambulance, I'm Alan.

I'm Katie. We're here to talk about a movie, a horror movie, called The Village. Did it bother you that they kept referring to those that we don't speak and not those of which we don't speak? It did not know. It. It th. th. to th. th. to th. th. to th. to th. th. th. to the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. to you. to you. to to the to to the the to you. tho. the the to you. to, to, to those that we don't speak of and not those of which we don't speak. It did not know. It bothered me a lot. You went to college with that writing though. Yeah I'm also just know how to speak I'm also just know how to speak English. Well that was your own brain coming out to get you. That's my that's my hubris fell out. The village. Thevah. My hubris fell out. The village. the village. It's fun to stay at the... It's the village people. M-Night Shyamalan.

This is our... Why do you keep saying it like that? Isn't that his name? It's Shemalon. I thought it was Shamaulan. All right, let's look at it. M-Nike. this is Michael Knight.

What is Michael Knight? night? Like Knight Rider? No, it's Menage. Ah. Here, wait, this will tell us how to say it. Okay. Oh no, it's just that Wikipedia thing of here's how things are pronounced. Hold on. I'll ask Google. Okay. Who directed the village? The village was directed by M. Knight, Chamelon. Google says I'm right. Thank you, Google. I was pronouncing it phonetically. Maybe don't do that. Alan. You can't see my last name on here. I know you can cut it out. You can cut it out. Oh, Coulier's back. We never left. Is this our third M-night movie? It is the happening? Six cents. Mm-hmm. And this. Mm-hmm. Okay.

This has so many great actors. An unbelievable cast. Seagorny Weaver. Fran Krantz. William Hurt. Uh, Brendan Gleason. Judy Greer. Judy Greer.

Who is not making a single joke? No. Never, she's lifting up her shirt and yelling, this is your last chance to look at these. I love to be career. Bryce Dallas Howard. Why does she work more? She's great.

Bryce Dallas Howard? Yeah, I don't think she works that much. I don't know. Yeah. She was just a really good episode of Black Mirror. No, no, I don't. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. thi is just is just is just was just was just was just was just was just was just was just was just was just was just was just was just was just was just was just was just was just was just was just was just was just was just was just was just was just was just was just was just was just was just was just. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to. to to to to to to to to to to thi. that. that. that. thi. thi. th. to th. to to to to to to th. to to to to to to to to th. to thi. that. that. that. No, no. No. Uh-huh. Waking, the thrown. All these people you like and know and like. Yeah, it's pretty crazy. Uh, and that guy that apparently nobody likes working with, Michael Pitt. Who is he?

He was the pretty one. Why doesn't anybody like working with him? I don't know. Every show he's on. He was like the star of that Boardwalk Empire movie. It was apparently like awful to work with on set. This may be just apocryphal. It might not be true. Sure. It's true if you say it's true. So they like kill his character off.

Really? And they're just like, it'll be about somebody else. Wow. That might have been the plan all along. know what that is. He's in uh he was in one season of Hannibal. No. He's a he's a model he's a very pretty man. He's got those pouty lips. Yeah. Very pretty lips. Yeah. Did you paper lips? Yeah. So this movie starts off in 1897. Yeah. We see a tombstone for a little boy who has died.

It's 1890 to 1897. Yeah, God rest his little soul. It's Brendan Gleason's son. What do I know Brendan Gleason from? TV? Movies, he's in a ton of movies. Okay. He's in...

the tea. tooke. No. . . That I remember. Yes, thank you. Okay. So I went away from movies only dudes have seen. Yeah.

He's in Man Cave, the movie. He's in. I was always talking about a scene in Braveheart that makes him cry. And I'm just like, shut up. I don't care about your feelings. I don't care about your te your the the the feelings. I th th th th th th th th th th th th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't care about th. I don't care about th. I don't care th. I don't care about th. I don't th that. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I theeee. I theean. I thean. I thean. I theean. I theeeeean. I the. I the. I th. I th. I that movie. But anyway. Too much? No, it's just like... Too long. Who cares about this, dude? Who cares about Scotland? But like, admittedly, I'm like the only dude in America who's not into that movie. Yeah, that in Gladiator. And uh, Shoshank Redemption. Now, fuck that movie. I'm nervous. I've never seen it.

God, I've never seen a lot of things. I love, fuck that movie. I have no idea. Mommy, Dick's a pile of shit. I never crack that thing. Let me tell you about a movie I love. Okay. It's got William Hurt.

Okay. It's called, I love you to death. Have you ever seen it? Okay. Sounds like you're making it up. I like this. I'm really not. Tracy Alman hires, hires William Hurt and Keana Reeves who are junkies. Still sounds like you're making it up. Kill her husband played by Kevin Klein. Because he's cheating on her with Phoebe Cates. Okay. He's a real life wife. Oh. Did you know that? Now you know. Knowing is knowing it know that. K knowing is knowing is knowing is that. K. K. K. K. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. thi. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. that? Now you know. Knowing it's half the battle. It's really funny. If Keanu Reeves and William Hurt are Harlan and Marlin, the junkies.

They're really good. You know I will watch anything with Keanu Reeves in it? Yeah. You know who loves that movie? Who? No. Yeah. Yeah, big fan. There's a scene where Kevin Klein is walking up the stairs and his pants fall down and she loses it every time. That you feel about a fish called Wanda. He probably likes it. How do we explain this movie? So we're inside this little town, this little hamlet. Yeah. And we're just kind of watching things unfold.

There are some town elders, there are people who have lots of children. We're kind of getting in with this this this this family this family this family this family, this family, this family, the family, the family, the family, the family, the family, the family, th, th, th, th, th, th, thiiolk, th, th, thiol-a, thiol-a, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, too, too, toooooooooooooooooooi, tooi, tooi, tooi, tooi, tooi, toooooomom, thi, thi, thi, there are people who have lots of children, we're kind of getting in with this family, the walkers, the patriarch being William Hurt, and he has these two daughters Judy Greer and Brace Dallas Howard who is blind. It's weird that they don't share a less name, but I'm like that. Yeah, Judy Greer, I just, it's so strange to see her in a non-commeatic role because she's so funny. Really? You keep waiting for her to crack last? Her voice, you're expecting it to be a joke and it just isn't. And also she's 30 years old in this movie. Is she really? Oh yeah.

She's playing a teen. Well, that's okay because Bryce Dallas Howard is playing a bline character who is rarely blind. She's often making eye contact and distinguishing things things things things things things things things this movie. She's often making eye contact. She's often making eye contact and distinguishing things. I mean she's magically blind. Sure, she does have magical blind powers. Yeah. He's had night shamel on a matador. Why? Because he's afraid of red? Every goddia movie. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think he's just, do you think that he was like beaten as a child with like a red spoon or something? I think it's just like the most glaring color on film. I guess so.

Like, you couldn't do like, move is the thing that everyone must be afraid of. I'm just so sick of aquamarine. Hi those top flowers. Yeah, fair enough. So this town is basically a town and not an exile, but it's like excommunicated itself from the rest of the world because the other towns are bad. Right. They refer to the towns as a place where bad things happen. And they are surrounded on all sides by woods that separate them from the towns.

And living in the woods are the Voldemort's. The Voldemort. Those of which we do not speak. Them who we ain't naming. Those, those ones. And then we just kind of see things happening in the town, like, um, Joaquin' Fenix to marry her and happening in the town. Like, um, Joaquin Phoenix, Judy Greer tries to get Walken Phoenix to marry her and he doesn't want to.

I love that scene where cuts to her just bawling. I love that. Again, M-Night, great director, like has that shit on lock. Yeah, it's, it's, it's obviously a student of the craft. And he gets great performances out th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, and I thi, and I thi, and I thi, and I thi, and I thi, and I thi, and I thi, and I thi, and I thi, and I, and I, and, and, and, and, and, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thi, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi. And, and thi, and out of everybody in this movie. A lot of talented people. A lot of talented people. Yeah, I mean this is like... Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So she ends up marrying Fran Krantz. She does. Who is Marty from Cabin in the Woods? Yes, indeed. That very straight, very pointy nose. I didn't notice it before. It's because he has all those clothes that are just focusing on his faces. I think so. I think so.

And there's like random, weird, skinned animals showing up in town. Yes. And no one knows why they're happening. They're trying to say that it's a coyote, but really it might be those of which we do not speak. It's true. What kind of animals were those? Like foxes and stuff at first. I've never seen a fox. Really? Yeah. I see them all the time in my neighborhood.

You said that was coyotes. They're supposedly a coyote, but I've never seen them, but I do see foxes over here? I live in a park. I didn't think they were in the the their they they they they of the state. For sure. That's not that stupid. No, not at all. I was surprised to find out that Fox, like, do really well in city environments. That's not true. They live in West Philly.

No, they don't. Yeah, when I lived in West Philly, there was a family of raccoons. There was a family. Thea thoids, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, like, like, like, like, tho, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. tho. tho. thi.'t think Possum lived out here either. Apparently there's Possom here. Oh yeah, there's Possible. I just think that all we have our dogs and kitties, cats, and likes some birds. We hear possum fights at night during the summer. We should film that. What does the possum sound like?

Just screaming? Oh, yeah. boasom screaming in the woods. I love the first time we see Wakene Phoenix when he comes to talk to the town elders and he's just reading his note. Yeah. And he gets to the end, he goes, the end. You like Wakene Phoenix? I do. I don't think I like him. I think he's a good actor. What do you like him in?

He's good in this. What else has he been in? He was in that movie, Her, which I didn't see. No, me either. He was in that movie, The Master, which I didn't see. Big fan of him. I see him in other stuff. I like him. He might just have like a lot of residual love from his brother. He was in, I love you to death.

Oh shit. With William Hart and Kea Reeves and Tracy Allman and Kevin Klein. Or you're just making this up and adding to cast members. I'm not. I'm telling the truth. I realized today that this is this movie reunite, or this movie was the first time that towns to get medicine for everybody. Because a child has just died and it's super sad. Brennanason son, yeah. He wants to cross the forbidden woods.

And in this time, we see actually the creatures come out of the woods once, and they're really scary. Red-robed, witch-faced, spiny, long-fingernailed, monster guys. Meanwhile, Ivy, the blind daughter, is falling in love with Lucius, which is a name I don't like to say. Okay, you can call him your queen. I can't say his name. I will call him your queen. Mr. Phoenix. Lord Phoenix. Right. Apparently they have been in love since childhood but now they're just acknowledging it because he stopped touching her when they like came of age. And she's just very precocious. Oh yeah. She says all the right things. She's a tomboy.

She is and she's friends with Noah played by Adrian Brody. Right. Who is I guess, a mentally disabled, special needs guy in town. Yeah. It's a very weird casting. Yeah, and he's very... Sometimes it seems very realistic, and then sometimes he just seems like he's like, well, I'm just going to set this to 11 and run with it and see what happens. Yeah. I just, I don't like him in this role. No. Hmm. Hmm. It seems like. It's like, it. It's like, it. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like, it. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, I. It's like, I. It's like, I. It's like, I. It's like, I. It's like, it's like, it's like, it. It's like, it. It's, it. It's, it's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the I'm just gonna set this to 11 and run with it and see what happens. Yeah. I just, I don't like him in this role. No. Mm-hmm. It seems like a weird choice just to have that character in general because of what he turns out

to be in the context of the movie. Yeah, he's this incredibly lovable scamp, right? Right. Right, because he's a murder boy. Yeah. Well, he doesn't actually murder anyone, does he? No. That's good. It's true. Spoiler.

So yeah, Noah and Ivy are super close, and they have foot races together and all this really fun stuff. And it seems like this almost bucolic life that they're leading. Yeah, it seems like a decent place place place place place place place place place place place place place place place place place place place place place place place place place place to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the theea thean the the thii thi thi thi thi the thi. thi. hea hea he's he's hea hea hea hea hea hea hea hea. hea. hea. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he he he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's the he's the the the he's the seems like a decent place to live. And then there's the wedding of Fran Kranz and Judy Greer. Uh-huh. Oh, wedding dance floors, like, never any fun, right? Beautiful though. Sure.

Everybody has flowers in their hair. Well, what about when your uncle takes tie off and puts it around his head? It's basically the the the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same's basically the same thing. Then it gets fun. Then it's fun. But during the wedding, someone spies the creatures coming into town. This is after Lucius has gone into the woods. So it's like, they've been breached, you know? Right. So he has done this. After he sees that Adrian Brody has these red berries that only grow in the woods. Right. I mean, whatever.

Right? I mean, whatever. Apparently I misspelled town and I have the note, red monster in the twong. Oh, you're like a child watching Tron. And they all hide in their houses and when they come out there's red slashes on everybody's door. Love that. Very biblical. Yeah, yeah. I love that. At this point this movie was reminding me a lot of Tim Burton's Sleepy Hollow as well. I was enjoying this way more than I enjoyed Sleepy Hollow.

Sure, sure. But just the- I forgot we did that. It is bad. I disagree. Go back and listen. But just like the torches and the watchtower. Just like the torch-au-it thorou. For sure. Why is that guy? That's his job? You put the prettiest one in the watchtower. It's a Rapunzel situation.

I feel like he's also weird casting for this movie. Who's having Michael Pitt? Yeah. Do we mention that Sigourney Weaver is Lucius's mother? Yeah. Yeah, so. She's underutilized movie I feel. 100% I mean she could be the star and she'd still be underly utilized in my eyes. She's amazing. Wonderful. We do Ghostbusters at some point I will fully talk about how amazing Sir Quarney Weaver is. And now

there are a bunch of skinned animals. Yeah they're everywhere. And it's like their livestock that have been skinned. Yes, yes. Yeah. I'm sure we're jumping around a bit at this one. Really, it's just, you get the gist. You get the gist. There's monsters. There's monsters.

There'd be monsters. And at this point, it? Like they're saying that, you know, the way we've had this truth forever, it's not, it's not really bad guys, whatever. And this is one of the things, I want to talk about the the twist that happens, because I feel like some of the movie falls apart under the twist on some level. Okay, let's talk about the, let's talk about the twist and then we'll. Okay. It's not a twist ending, it's a twist two-thirds. Yes.

So, Bryce Stylis. So, well, I guess we have to mention that Lucius gets to the toubsts get to the medicines that heo, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tooosk, thi, thi, tooosk, tooosk, tooosk, tooosk, and then, tooosk, and then, and then, too, too, too, and too, and too, and too, and too, and too, and too, and too, and too, and too, and too, and thi, thi, and. And the only person who can go to town to get him the medicines that he needs is Bryce Dallas Howard. The only blind person in town. Yes. And they're going to have escorts who will leave her. Immediately. Why is this? So what I think is the reason she was given the note is she's the only person who can't read it. Oh, okay. So she has to go and her father explains to her that the monsters aren't real. Well, he says, he goes, takes her to a shed and says, try not to scream.

And I was like, what the fuck, William hurt. But it turns out... Is this your first time I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I thii first thi? thi first thi??? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? Oh, thi? Oh, thi? Oh, thi? Oh, thi. thi? Oh, thi? Oh, thi? Oh, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh, thi? Oh, thi? Oh, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. thi. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. hurt? But it turns out, what? Is this your first time seeing this movie? Oh, okay, okay, yeah. Yeah. It turns out he's just going to show her these costumes. Yeah. These costumes of the creatures that are hanging in a shed on the premises.

And I was trying to figure out why she was going to scream, because she's blind. So when he opens the door, he's going to have to explain what's going on. But then they're like, she can smell them. Yeah, right. And that's what I've brought the screams. I'll tell you what? Yeah. I don't hate this twaist. thi.

tooo. I thought it would be nature. It gets worse. Does it? Yeah. Okay. Because this isn't the twist yet. Oh, I thought this was the twist. This is the reveal that they've been the monsters. Yeah. Which I actually kind of like. It's like we don't want anybody leaving this town.

Right. So we've been terrorizing them and keeping the monsters. Yeah. In both literally and figuratively. And they realize that they have to pass this being the monsters onto their children or else the place will die out. Right. Because kind of a crazy thing to think about. It turns out they're not in 1897. They are in the 2000s. See, I guessed that. Did you guess that they were the monsters. Okay. And she goes out of town. Because I was like, how are they going to get M-Night Chamelon in here? He's so modern looking. Oh, you mean M-night Exposition

Machine? Yes. So she climbs a wall, some guy in a SUV. We're going to talk about, not talk about anything that happens. Okay, go ahead. Yeah, because she, yes. We got to talk about the stuff that happens to the West. I don't even want to. I really don't even want to. She goes out. Got to fix her up in an SUV? Yeah. Kevin. Kevin. She explains what's going on. He's like, you live in the woods? It's like, oh yeah, I live in the woods and he's like, it's a nature reserve. It's a nature. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go. Yeah, the th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah's the Walker Nature Reserve, which is in the town, elders. Yeah. And he goes back to get the medications that she needs. From a very well-stocked guard's office. They have a refrigerator of meds. There has to be a way to check that stuff out. You can't just walk in there and grab all those men. No. Well you're like pretending to eat a donut. I liked that. I was like the only only way th the only th the only the only the only the only th. the only the only th. the only the only the only th. the only the only th. th. the only way the only way the only way th. th. th. th. the only way the only way the only way way way way way way th. the only way the only way the only the only the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. th. th. th. th. the. the. to eat a donut. I liked that. I was like, this is so stupid. It's like, the only way we see M-Night is when the refrigerator door opens and we see his face and reflection.

But meanwhile, he is giving it all the exposition. These people, they can't come out here because they're going to find out that the government is being paid off to get flights not to fly over this this this this thisthing about M-Night is, for as good of a director as he is, he is a terrible actor. Not good. Not good. Not good. It's not for everybody. It's just for me.

I could be an actor. Thank you. Thank you. I have a very big ego. No. But as we've said in every one of these movies, Hitchcock just put himself in the background. Yeah, he just walked a dog. Yeah, he was just in the phone booth. Just holding an umbrella. So that's the

big twist. It's there it's the 2000s, it's not 1897, and they've raised all of their children in this enclave in the middle of the woods outside of Philadelphia. Right. So that's what, this, two things that drive me nuts about this. Tell me. Showing the tombstone that says it's 1897 is for us. It's not for the characters. It has nothing to do with the plot. Well, or does it because they're convincing the next the the the the the the the the next the next the next the next the next the next the next the next the next the next the next the next the next the next the next the characters. It has nothing to do with the plot. Well, or does it because they're convincing the next generation that it's the 1890s. Or does that not matter? But this generation

has been raised inside of this compound. So the time is meaningless. So you could say it's the year 9 million. It's true. And they'd be like, oh, well, this is what 9 million's like. It's true. So 1897 is just th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thee. theee. thee. theeee. theeee. the. thee. the. the. the. the. the. the is just to trick us. That's okay. You're right. And there's no fucking way this would work. That's what I hate about it. Tell me why. There's teenagers. Yeah. What do we know about teenagers? They like to fuck. One, two. They're on Twitter. Three. No, they're not.they're on Snapchat. They like to break rules. But if they're, I mean they, the rule-breaking is that they do is stand on a log outside the woods. Right, but what kids aren't going to go and smoke corn silk in the woods and try to get high? I mean I think that's kind of the horror of the movie though is that they're so frightened of it. Like they're like they're like they're so they're so they're so they're so they're so they're so convinced of they're so convinced of they're so convinced of they're so convinced of they're so convinced they're so convinced they're so convinced they're so convinced. they're so convinced. they're so convinced. they're so convinced. they're so convinced, like, like they're so convinced, they're so convinced, they're so convinced, they're so convinced, they're so convinced, they're so convinced, they're so convinced, they're so convinced, they're so convinced, they're so convinced, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like they're so convinced, like they're so convinced, like they're so convinced, like they're so convinced, they're so convinced, they're so convinced, they're so convinced, they're so convinced, they're so convinced, they're so convinced, they're so convinced, they're so convinced, they're so convinced, they're so convinced, they're so convinced, they're so convinced, they're so convinced, they're so convinced, they're And also, there's nowhere outside of Philadelphia, like that close to Philly as they're, like,

they're kind of like in like Fairmont Park. Yeah, like Valley Forge area. You hear traffic. Like you just can't get away from it. There's nowhere to go. There's a little most, probably most of the country. Most of the east coast. Yeah, especially, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, Coast anyway. Yeah, yeah, in that area. And now it's just like, if they were in the wilds of Canada, 100% believe that they could do this. But like, Wyoming, Wyoming? Why not?

But like, Wyoming? Wyoming? Why not? that? W. W. W. Not? If a Wyoming, if you need any? Why not? I don't. We just gave it to them for free? Oh, it sucks. God, we suck at this. We suck at making money. So there's the great scene where they're doing the like, oh, that's Jesse Eisenberg that's standing on the tree stump. Those are his only lines. That's the only time we see him. But there's a great scene where the boys are doing theseests of will where they stand with their backs to the woods. Yeah. And it comes up later because Bryce Dallas Howard says that she wants to do that. She's a she wants to be a boy basically. Yeah. And then so let's talk about what

happens in the woods now when she leaves the town. Okay. So she leaves with Michael Pitt and Franz Kranz. And immediately Franz Kranz is like I like Franz Kranz is like, uh-huh. I think I call him Franz Kranz. Is that his name? No. Fran, Fran Kranz. I like Franz Kranz. that's the the Frans Kranz.

In my note, Franz Kranz. The Francran leaves immediately. Yeah, he's like, I'm actually too pretty for this, bye. Yeah, because he's a fancy boy. Yeah, he doesn't want to get his shirts messed up. No. And Michael Bitsy spends like a day with her. But they say it's only half a day's journey. Yeah, if you don't send the blind person in the woods like, like what she's doing. Like, she's finding her weight everywhere. Very great. Very fearless.

I'm not disparaging the blind in any way. I mean, you hate blind people. No, it's not true. Let's get a baseline here. Let's get a baseline. It's something on the internet. Who do you hate more? Who do you feel more hatred towards? The blind, obviously. Because deaf people couldn't listen to our podcast, huh?

Maybe you hate them more. Please put your headphones back on. That's funny, those are jokes. The joking opinion of Katie just not remember. No, I just, obviously you're not disparaging blind people. But, um, I'm disparaging William hurt. Except they hate them. No, don't.

Ha! So Michael Pitt leaves day two. Yeah, he's just like, ah, my stomachs? My tom-tum hurts? I gotta go. And her dad has given her a bag of magic rocks. They're not for her, they're to trick the two boys she's with. Right. And they're not tricked because Clans, Crans is like, how come we've never heard of these rocks before?

Fuck this, I'm leaving. Yeah, I kind of, I kind of, but see, like, that's what you're saying about teens. They're gonna break the rules, hasn't lost its luster. That's true. Yeah, that's true. And so she's now walking for another day by herself in the woods. Yeah. Until she's not by herself anymore. She falls in that scary hole. She does. I think I have the note uh-oh sinkhole. Uh-huh. That's like I don't know 27 feet deep. that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. the thi. That's th. That's thi. the. the. the the. That's the the. That's the. That's the. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. I th. I's the th. I's t. I's t. the t. the too. the the the. the. the. the. do with holes. But she, again, I need to work on my over body strength because she just pulls herself the fuck back out of that hole, one-handed! Yeah, she's like, using one hand to hold on,

throws her bag off her shoulder onto the like flat ground, and then, who just climbs right out, the next thing I would realize would be me staring up and my arms still stuck on the branch of the rest of my body down to me going, oh, smuckers. Smuckers. But yeah, and then she gets further in, but then she gets chased by the red monster,

pointy thing. I liked it appearing in the woods, the woods, the woods, the woods, the the the the the the the the the the the the the woods in broad daylight? Broad-ass daylight. I did not like how it turns slow-mo when it would run in her. Did you like that? No. I bet you didn't. No, because it's very, very bad. I have a feeling there's no way to run in that costume at any sort of speed. Yeah, you're probably right. Because it's just like it's 14 inches big on top of your head. It just look like shit when it was running it looked like shit yeah when its cape opens up and it's like this kind of like stick tummy like it didn't look it didn't look radical then mm-mm why did it have a stick to me I don't know it should have just been like furry or it should have been nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing

nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing that should or just two kids screaming at you like to the to the to to to to keep to to to to to the to to the to the the the the to to the the the the the the to the to the the the to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their tap. tape. tape tape tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. their their their their their their their their oged when the coast of the future opens its scene. Yeah. I love that scene. Can we do that movie? Can we do that movie? We'll talk about it in the Christmas? We'll talk about it in the way she came.

So she remembers that, or she goes running backwards. the way she came, like we see people in these goddamn movies can't they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th.. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're thathe. the. they're they're they're they're the. the. th. the. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I. th. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. that. the. the. the. the. to the. to to to to to to toda. I to the. I the. I away from the way she came. Which in the, like, we see people in these goddamn movies can't figure out where they're going in the woods with their eyes open. Well, that's the thing. She memorizes all of her landscape around her. Because when she gets back to the tree, she grabs the tree and she's like,

grabs that? No. Me either. This is my second time. Did you think it the first time? No. Yeah. I thought you're almost back. Why are you doing this? And the monster falls in the hole and she's like, yeah, fuck you monster. Because she can't see who the monster is. It's Noah. Yeah. He broke out of the quiet room. Yeah. And stole a costume that was hidden under the floorboards, which was a dumb place to hide at M-Night. It seems so scooby-doo. Yeah, it really is. It's just so, like, there had to have been a way to do that where he didn't find it under the floorboards. Like, was there something under the floorboards in every house? And did, why do they need it to be there? Like, just whoop, just in case?

Like, it doesn't make any sense. You've been using Voop for so many things that I'm real into it. It's like just opening the floorboards, fop, falling down the hole, fop. But we see Noah down there and he's down there like, ah, and then he's dead. Yeah. And I'm like, ah, this is sad because she doesn't know that her friends dead. She's like, I killed a monster.

But he was trying to kill her. For sure. Or something. So she did kind of kill a monster. Although I guess he was mentally. Yeah. I took umbrage with him being the monster in this. Yeah, that's a good point. I mean until I said it out loud I hadn't really considered it because why I think about it but now yeah it's

just as bad as you hating blind people. I don't hate blood, hate all. We forgot to mention that every every house has a locked box in it. Oh I didn't notice that. Yeah because when Lucius goes to meet with Brendan Gleason, he, Brendan Gleason is like, you'll say he might be drunk or something? He's like grieving. I think he just looks that way. I think as an actor, he just looks like that.

He's grieving over his son. He looks at the box. He like, he like looks at the box, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he's, he's, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th thinks, th thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thi. th th boxies like, we've all got secrets. And the camera's like, oh, okay. And then William Hurt and his wife opened the box up, and that's when there's the reveal that they were all people who is, like throughout the movie, they've talked about people that have been murdered in their lives. Like, a William Hur Gleason's brother I think was killed by a drug addict. Like it was just they were all like killed in like city ways. Sure, sure, sure, dangerous urban death. Yeah. And so it shows that

like in the 70s they all got together and like William Hurt was a history teacher like I have an idea. Let's go back to 1890. Yeah. Yeah. It's stupid like, it just drives me nuts. Like, why would you fucking pick a year? You don't have to pick a year. No, I agree with that. Now that, yeah, I agree with that. Because I was going to try to figure out how they were counting time. But they're not counting time. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Unless like, but they should just never have included that, but that's you write, that's just for us. Did they talk about people reading at any point? Because then they were, like, you'd have to like, okay, there's no books past this point. Right. Or like, but I don't remember them talking, like, I don't remember them reading the Bible. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. the Bible. the Bible. the Bible. the Bible. the Bible. the Bible. the Bible. their. their. their. their. their. their, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, their. their. their. their. their. their, their, their, their, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. in a classroom too, but I don't know what they were learning. Yeah, mm. And they're all dressed like Puritans. Yeah, little house on the prairie style. I liked the one scene where William Hurt tells

everybody that he sent Bryce Dallas-Hallard off into the woods and they all drop the bullshit and they just start talking the way they spoke before they started talking in 1819 18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18. the the the the the the the the the the the to. I I. I. I. I. I. I. I was to. I was to. I was to. I was to. I was. to. toe. the the toe? their. they? they? they? they were. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I. I. I was. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. the the the the th. the the the the the the th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. they. they. they. they. they just start talking the way they spoke before they started talking in 1890s vernacular. And Brendan Gleason gets an Irish accent. Really? I didn't notice that? That's funny. And I was like, I didn't to their the the their accent. That's funny. And I was like, so they're just like dropping this facade and I was like, how exhausting is your lives that you have to keep vision. Yeah. It was very very strange. It would be really strange to like raise your children to speak like that and that's how they would speak because they never heard anything else like that's fucking normal to them. Yeah. It's like if I just only spoke to my child with like a funny accent. to thi thin to the thin. to their their their their their their the. their the. the. their the. their their the. the. the. thin. theat theat theat theat theat theat theat theat theat the. theat to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. their the. the. their toe. toe. toean. toean. toean. toean. toean. toeeeean. toeeeean. toean. toeeeean. toeean. toeean. toeean. toe. But also everyone else around her only spoke to her in that same funny accent.

Can we do that? No. I mean, if you're like to come in my house, you have to speak, what's the funny accent? Um, do it without offending anyone? But if it's not an accent so much as an affect, like, hello, Lucy, we're going to out the park today. But I'm like, I go to daycare and I'm like, listen, I'm paying you a lot of fucking money. I want you to talk to my kid like this. I'm changing your diaper, Lucy.

You made a poop. Do you want to make it a little easier and something that everybody would want to do? Polly Shore Shore though. Hey Lucy. Stop wheezing the bottle. I don't want her to talk like Polly Shore. I'm sorry, that's what's happening. No. Buty? So that's pretty much the village.

So but she makes it back with the medicine. She does and heals him up but good. And she no one is any of the wiser. I guess that's why they're in the blind girl. Yeah. Yeah. Her sadness at him like being wounded and like, Yeah.

She's so good. You feel, you really feel. I don't give a shit about Wakene Phoenix or his character and I was like, oh that poor girl's not gonna get what she wants. You know what I mean? I do. Because they, he just like, they did such a good job, the M-night of just like, you loved her. Oh yeah. She was a, she was a, yeah. She was like, she was a married, she Mary, you know the character that can do no wrong. Hmm. It's a literary thing. It's a literary thing. I mean, there's that Cypress Hill reference.

I love you, Mary Jane. Is that what you're talking about? No? OK, yeah. Yeah. Someone, someone others yelling of the listening experience to WhereWFamounts is yelling back what we're getting wrong. No wonder that person's boss thinks they're crazy from last week. They're not laughing as much as going, come on! But she's great because she's a character that has a smile for everybody.

Yeah. And like, yeah, she's just fantastic. What else? That's a good question? Um, you know who really hated this movie? Who's that? Roger Ebert. Really? Really? Really? What did Bobby Ebes had to say?

He gave the film one star and wrote, The village is a colossal miscalculation, a movie based on a premise that cannot support it, a premise so so transparent it would be laughable were the movie not so deadly solemn. To call the ending an anti-climax would be an insult not only to climaxes, but to prefixes. It's a crummy secret about one step up the ladder of narrative originality from It was all a dream. It's so witless in fact that when we do discover the secret, we want to rewind the film so we don't know the secret anymore. It's on his most hated list. I definitely agree with him on some of that stuff.

I mean, it seems like a really flimsy Twilight's own premise. Okay. But I will say this being the second time I've seen this movie, I did enjoy it much more, because I knew what I was getting into. I have to be honest. It's my job to be honest. I enjoy honesty. It's my job to be honest. Thank you. I didn't hate this.

I expected to hate it. I thought it was going to be terrible. I didn't hate it. Maybe my expectations were so low, having seen both the happening and more recently split, which I don't know if I recall, split ends, I mean this is spoilers for split and they may not be because I don't know if I'm saying it correctly, I can't remember. I'm pretty sure that split ended with the guy's lair being under the Philadelphia Zoo and he was like taking on characteristics of the animals.

Wow. Wow. Yeah. I mean, I will say that like, the monster scary time part of this movie is great. And the mood is great. Perfect. Looks great. Totally amazing.

Actors are incredible. Love them. It's the, I would say tissue thin twist in this that like really like does not work for me. When you say the twist though, you're talking about the fact that it's 2004. Yes, the fact that it's, yeah, well, I think the truck that like she meets on the road, his inspection sticker says 2012, which is just weird. This movie was made in 2004. I know. Just fucking make it then. It's shit doesn't change that much. No, but what if the past movie was in the future? Okay, see, now I'm mad. I may have misread it, but still like, it would have been a really good, weird, spooky town movie. Why does it bother you that it's set in the,

let's set aside 2012. Let's pretend it's set in 2004. Sure. Why does that bother you? Because I don't think that like, there's just, there's people that own like their own small aircraft that would fly over that, like news helicopters would fly? Like, their, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, their their their, their their spooky, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their spooky, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their just there's people that own like their own small aircraft that would fly over that like news helicopters would fly like there's no way to keep that secure in that area. Okay from air traffic you know like that that that's one of them so like I feel like M. Night Shamblain's answer to that. It's always like, but what if they could you know? He does have that like that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's they. they. they. their. they. they. the they. they. they. they. they. that's they. that's that's they. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's amblan's answer to that, it's always just like, but what if they could, you know? He does have that like, that 12-year-old boy,

and I'm just like, but what a, hold on, hold of, are you? So, but like, this time, I was like, I don't have to think about this. I can just go in and watch a great. Yeah, it's good. It's, yeah. It's not as bad as I remember it being. If there's something that really struck me, and it was the scene where all the elders are talking

in the room after they realize Noah's been killed and like is the jig up? Yeah. And they all stand one by one to indicate that they want to stay there. Yeah. And it just was this idea of being so disillusioned with society that you were willing to do this and keep doing it. Yeah. Like there's something very deeply, like very profoundly sad about that. This is a very sad movie. Oh yeah yeah. And that the children who have grown up there and who you know the next generation will now grow up there is like these teens teens teens teens teens teens teens teens teens teens teens teens teens tee tee tee tee the the the the the then. the their the-a. their their their their their, te. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they they thi. the. they te. te. te. they they there is like these teens are getting married and gonna have teen baby, baby teen, teen babies. Team babies. Yeah, again Judy Gur is 30 years old.

Looks great, looks like a teen, 30 years old. There's something just like deeply sad about that. Especially when you start peeling back, like, so there's a subplot where William Hurt is in love with Sigourney Weaver, but it's unrequited, it can't happen. Yeah. I think she loves him back. Oh yeah, for sure.

She wants him to hold, yeah, yeah. She wants him to hold hands with her, but he won't do it. Yeah. Um, and... So to be Brendan Gleason, and your son has to die for a medical thing that could have been fixed. Yeah. But her son gets to live. Yeah. Like, how fucked is that?

You're like, you broke the rules to fix this kid, but my seven-year-old had to die? Right, just because, yeah, yeah, it's true. So, I mean, this town's gonna fall apart. The village too. But what if it doesn't? But what if it doesn't? That it's still going on and who's still paying the government to make sure they know it, and when we get those flying cars, they're gonna go over that far. But we decided we decided, it, it, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, what, what, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, what, what, but, but, but, what, what, what, what, but, what, what, what, what th, th, what th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what that, what th we don't get flying cars.

Oh, apparently, this was, there's a plagiarism allegation. Oh, really? Because there was a young adult book called Running Out of Time, published in 1995 by Margaret Peterson Hattucks, which is a village whose inhabitants are secretly forced to live in the 1830s when the year is actually in 1996. Interestingly, published in 1995, actually in 1996. Oh. Interestingly, published in 1995, said in 1996, he definitely stole that 2004-2012 thing. God damn it, I'm Knight. I was thinking when we were talking about this, that like maybe this movie is a condemnation

of people who move out of the city to the suburbs to raise their children. Oh, interesting. Isn't he from suburban Philadelphia? Probably. Maybe it's self-loathing. Yeah. But that was just... I guess he didn't make that choice. He was just raised there. He's Ivy. He's all of us. Kate, if you want to move on on the ratings stage. Yeah, but I want you to go first. Okay. Okay. This is my second time seeing this movie. Yeah. I saw it once in the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thuuuuu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thuu thuu thuuuuuuuuupefibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibib. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's thu t. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. t. t. t. t. tobu t. tobuuuuuuuuuuuu. t. t. Okay. Okay. This is my second time seeing this movie. Yeah. I saw it once in theater, where I got real mad when the twist happened. Did you?

Yeah, again. Did you see it coming though? I didn't. I guess did you know there was going to be a twist? No, because I think this twist is the first of his twist that I think is to fuck with the audience and not just with the characters. Yeah, not like the Bruce Bullis twist. Right. Spoilers for the six sons.

And spoiler, like, there's a thing that happens in Unbreakable where there's a revelation, but that revelation is entirely for the today. Like, you're shocked by it as well, but you're along for the ride. So I feel like that 1897 on that tombstone is just like, guys, keep that, that's where we are. So that's what kind of bumps. It seems, it's, I should have guessed that it wasn't that because they showed me a date right up front. But no, watching it again, it's really well directed. It's immaculately acted. It looks, it looks, it looks beautiful. It looks, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, and that well directed. It's immaculately acted. It looks beautiful.

Like, everything about it is great. Yeah. But I still feel like the twist is weak sauce. Seven. You give this a higher score than a rectifobia. I did. It's a really well done movie. And if you can stomach the twisty parts you're gonna enjoy it. I honestly like you know I hate basically everything on the planet.

Right let's go down a list of everything you hate. Horses. I'm afraid of them. Cactuses. They're just what are they for? Walnuts. I love walnuts. When I was a child my grandfather would crack a walnut and if he got the shell intact, he would glue little felt feet and head to it and make a turtle for me. So fuck you saying I hate walnuts. You hate blind people. For the record, I do not hate blind people. And that is the most adorable thing I'm going to hear today. But maybe I was expecting the twist to be so out of left field

So crazy so stupid and it just isn't it's like maybe ill thought out right but it's a Interesting concept and I would almost like to read that young adult novel in which that happens sure I just I guess I thought it was gonna be outlandishly bad and it isn't no Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and all of the acting just saves it I am gonna give it a seven? I???? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I I the the the the th? I the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the the the the the the the the to to the the to to to to to to th. I'm to to to the. I'm to to to to to to to to to to thi to to thi thi thi thi th isn't. Yeah. Yeah. And all of the acting just saves it. I am going to give it a seven. I'm going to give it a seven. I really, I mean, and I was enjoying the hell out of that like, uh, romance during the time of creatures coming out of the woods. Period piece that it was for the first hour and a half. Oh yeah, I really love that. That's the movie I wanted, I wanted to stay that movie.

But then like, how do you wrap up that movie? What's the climax? What's the end? Uh, gun battle on the street with the creatures. Uh, they've been living in a submarine the whole time. That, that's like what I expected it's like the the th, th, th, th, the, th, th, the, th, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thi, thi, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. thi, th. I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th, I th, I th. I th, I th, I th. I th, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, I expected. They've been in outer space the entire time. I expected it to be like an underwater adventure. I'd like I expected to be just because the happening is so bad. What are you talking about? I loved it. It's like what else you know like? Oh signs?

Signs gonna ruin signs if you want to know what signs isn't about or is about if you don't want to know what science is about turn off now? to to to to to the the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. te. to. to. to know what signs isn't about, or is about, if you don't want to know what signs is about, turn off now, come back in two minutes. Come back in two minutes. Whoa, we're gonna talk about signs for two minutes? Yeah, I've got two minutes worth. Aliens come to Earth. Aliens are killed by water. Earth is 75% water. Man, have you seen that movie that he wrote called The Devil or Devil when it's the Devil

in an elevator? No. Of course not. He didn't direct that one. It's, that one was from the mind. That one was from Mnight Shamblin's Wikipedia. Oh my god. Oh my god. Okay, so I'm just, can I know I'm just, this is an episode of me just reading thi. thi, th. th. thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th..... th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. thean, the. thean, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. just reading things from Wikipedia, but I want to read you something from M. Knight Shamblon's Wikipedia.

Please. I just wanted to see his career information. In 2004, Shambalon was involved in a media hoax with Sci-Fi channel, which was eventually uncovered by the press. Sci-fi claimed in its, quote, documentary, Special, Shamblan had been dead for nearly a half hour while drowned in a frozen pond in an accident, and that upon being rescued, he had experiences of communicating with spirits fueling an obsession with the supernatural. In truth, Shamblon developed the hoax with sci-fi stappers signed non-disclosure agreements with a $5 million fine attached, and requiring Shamblon's office to formally approve each step. That's fucking bananas. That's a fucking insane thing to do. That's

that's... Sci-fi fed false news stories of the Associated Press and the New York Post among others. They made up a fake publicist David Westover to send up press releases. But why? And then NBC was like, David Westover, to send out press releases. But why? And then NBC was like, oh, fuck no, we didn't sci-fi did that on their own because they're the parent company? Remember when the Blair Witch had a Blair Witch documentary on like the history channel before the movie came out?

That was great marketing. This is stupid. So you basically plagiarized the Blair Witch marketing for the village. God damn it, M-night. Like what do you got to let us down? You could have been great. I just... He gave us the six cents. He did. He gave us the happening. What is the thing? Be scientific, dou... What? Be scientific, douchebags? Be scientific, doushbag? We never did get those coffee mugs that said that. Are we going to?

Cousies. Cousies. Cousies. Molder now, I want a coffee mug. Yeah. So that's the village. Kany. Let me talk to you about something called Cryptocurium's parcel of terror. Okay, tell me about it.

Tell me, well tell me then. Tell me about it. Tell me. Did you know the hi-hat was invented in Pittsburgh? I did not know. That's very interesting. It is. Pittsburgh had a very vibrant jazz scene back in the day. I've heard that.

Yeah, if you go to the Hill Hill hill there were just tons of jazz clubs in the Hill District. Interesting. I agree. Would the highhats are invented in Pittsburgh? No, the jazz is interesting. You know what else is interesting? The Crypto Curum is Part of Terror.

It is interesting. Iterror. It is a monthly subscription. Stop agreeing with me saying the same thing you're saying. I agree with that I should accept it? Look, you have five days to sign up for the next parcel of terror. To get that Predator a box. When you open it, it's going to open fire on you, like the innocent people in the village and predator who were slaughtered by Arnold Schwarzenegger and his chums. They were like repples.

They were innocent, they were fucking captives there. Weren't there? I mean, you know, they're dead. They're dead. They're dead. They were there to get the hostages. It's such a dumb fucking movie. I thu to talk about it. Thanks, Justin. I hope that something in this box

has Billy's laugh from when he gets one of those jokes and goes, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. And then the predator mimics it later. Oh yeah, my God, it's so stupid. Such a good movie. Get to the Chopper. Get to the chopper. Jason, Minkink, get the the the the McKittrick on the line and tell him this is not a horror movie. Get the go to the chopper! Jason, I fully support you doing this. Jason, why

you do this? What is Jason doing? What do you tell him what Jason's doing? He's doing the Barclayter Predator Edition. You know what Jason does. He makes these awesome handcrafted magnets, wall plaques, little statues, pins, necklaces, stickers, stickers, cars, cars, candy, weapons of mass destruction. Really? Did you give one of the? Did you give one of the? Go to Crypto Curia. Sign up for the Barcelona tear. Get the Predator box? Then just keep giving Jason 35 bucks a month to get awesome Curium, sign up for the Barcelona Ter, get the Predator box, then just keep giving

Jason 35 bucks a month to get awesome, awesome, awesome stuff. You'll just keep giving your boxes. You give them 35 bucks, you get a box, 35 bucks, 35 bucks, 35 bucks, 35. This is how commerce works. Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. I have. Crypto, Pry-C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, I U M dot com. Candy. Alan. What we gonna do next week?

Next week is a special episode. We gonna do a hard movie? Nope. I'm done with them for a week. Let's do April Fools. Oh, yeah. Do I guess they know it's April fools, right? We always give it.

Well, it'll be question mark, question mark. I don't know what year the the the the year the year the year the year the year the year the year th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi th. What thi thi th. What thi th. What th. th. thi. thi. thi's thi's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. What we th. th. What we th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. to. to. thi. to. to. too. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. too. to we always blow it. Um, well it'll be question mark, question mark, question mark. I don't know what year this movie is. I think for the best too, I did, I think last year's I did one more question marks. Yeah. I don't remember. I don't remember either. I can look it up real quick. Yeah.

the thanks. right now by asking people, hey what year was was made? 1, 1989, USA, USA. Diligent listeners will know what movie we're going to do because we've mentioned it, oh I don't know, 50 or 70 times. 40,000 times, yeah. So come back for that. Yeah, you'll like it. It's our special times. This one's for us guys. This one's gonna be fucking absurd. This one's, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thus, thi, thus, thus, thus, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. D, th. D, th. D, th. D, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. D, th, th. D, th, th, th, th, th. D, thi. D, thi. D, thi. D, thi. D, thi. thi. D, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. D. thi. thi. D. thi. D. D. thi. D. D. D. th absurd too. Uh-uh, this one's for who, us, us, you know, who am I? Pee-D pub, motherfuckers.

At North Carolina, come on and raise up. Take your shirt off. Twist it round your, it's been like a helicopter. Yeah, Pedy Pub. Don't worry, next week I'll do that. the nexta thi Fuck no, I can't do that. I like had this longstanding fantasy of just walking into like a sleepy karaoke bar and doing all of Bumsover Baghdad

without looking at the screen. Just crashing it into a Coors Light Sign and walking the fuck out. Just two fingers in their hair. Yeah. I don't know how they two wizards produce magic. Yeah. I don't know how they do it. It's insane.

It's amazing. Do you ever hear the song they did for the Scooby-Doo movie? No, but I'm a gunner. In the land of a million drums. It's so silly. His two-way and Daphne and Freddie. Because I think it's like they were using Nokia or something. I don't even know. Oh, I have one thing to show you and then we're going to leave. Wait, this is a recording?

Yeah. We were just talking. We didn't say the goodbye part. I know, you're right. People probably hate this when we just talk about bullshit. Why? I don't know. I mean, I find it self-indulgently fun. I think this is the part where they're like, we're just hanging out with friends. Oh yeah. You've seen this before. Ph! You have to cut this part because I just looked at a comic strip.

Like, they don't know. I'm sorry, Miss Jackson. I am four eels. I'm never meant to post this somewhere they don't know. I will post this. Thanks for listening to this very self-indulgent episode of Marvel, no not Marvel, I got Marbles Marbles, it's the other. Oh, Carveling at Carvels, it's just like who are we, who are we and what are we doing? This is my other podcast. I'm a dirty, dirty, dirty butt face. I'm tired I gotta go. Thanks for listening to another episode of Werewolf Ambulance. Hey guys, thanks for listening to another episode of

Warewolf Ambulance. I don't need to blind people by. Do not. I'm not leaving it to take that back. He loves him. the