Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 171- Ghoulies (1984)

Episode Date: April 9, 2018

It's a guestisode this week, EMTs! We're joined by our friend Tessa to discuss her pick, the 1984 horror-comedy-puppet- Satanic ritual film "Ghoulies." Special topics for your consideration include: a return to the work of Charles Band, how to pad a movie 101, Ghoulie anatomy explained, confounding Satanic rituals, a critical look at internet memes, adult teens and what not to do upon inheriting a home. Have you seen this one? Or any of the "Ghoulies" series? Let us know your thoughts at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Twitter @werebulance or on Instagram @werewolfambulance. You can also email us for our segment "MAILBAG!" at [e-mail] and if you're feeling super generous, leave us an iTunes rating and review.  Want to listen to some rad music? Check out Tessa's band Bitter Whiskers at soundcloud.com/bitterwhiskers and on Facebook at facebook.com/bitterwhiskers Check out our sponsor this week as well: Cryptocurium (www.cryptocurium.com) where cool horror stuff gets handmade and then lovingly delivered to your door in the form of the Parcel of Terror on a monthly basis. You can also sign up for their secret society, The Order of the Thinned Veil, in which you can profess your love for all things Halloween and be rewarded handsomely for it! Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast.  

Hello, welcome to another episode of WhereWafambulant, I'm Alan. Oh God, Lenin, we're off to a great start. I'm joined by Katie. I'm already doing it. And we're joined by a guest. Hello, Tessa. Hello. Hi, Tessa. Hi, Katie. You just had to both of us. So this works. Thanks for being a guest on our podcast. Thanks for having me. Thanks for bringing us a movie.

What movie did you bring us? I brought you Goulies? Well, I did it because I was scarred by a scene that I saw of Goulies 2 as a child, but we couldn't really do Goulies 2. I mean, we could have, but... We can do whatever you want. I mean, we've done neon maniacs and we've done, what was the dirt bike machete movie? Demons? Demons?

Deemans. We've jumped into Friday the 13th, I think, on 7. Okay. We could have done whatever you want it, but this is what you've done. Yeah. I did this. You're setting yourself up to come back and do Gooleys too. Right.

Our Gooley's franchise expert. But this is also timely because of puppet master, right? And Ginger Deadman. And Ginger Deadman. Charles Band is the producer. the producer. the puppet master guy? And Ginger Deadman? And Ginger Dead Man. Charles Band is the producer, yeah. The goolies kind of look like the puppet master puppets. Even though... But like the shittier version.

Yeah. Like they've been through the washing machine. Like, Gremlins went wrong for a little while. I love the one that just looks like he's having an allergy attack. Like all around his eyes are red and his nose is constantly dripping. I'm little soft gully, I'm just really, you know, I'm just trying to lay back the cut right now. I don't want to get in anybody's face because I'm not feeling too good. They like slimy Pokemon. They really are. You got to leave them all. It was a good Pokemon joke. I'm 43. What are gullies?

Tessa? What are gullies? They seem to be minor demons. Okay. But they don't seem to do much until Malcolm gets there, right? They just kind of, like if I had gollies I'd have them like clean my house like or something. Yeah they would do something. Oh I think you might once say it in a country you are rumba. They don't trust robots.

Tiny demons. Yeah. You rarely see the legs of. Have you seen this thing about the Amazon Alexa, like just laughing randomly? The robots are taking over. Way into it. Yeah. What did we think would happen? I like all the people that are mad that Amazon's listening to you is like, you literally brought a microphone into your home. The one into which you could speak directly to Amazon.

Yeah. There's a light at the end of thap the th l lion thi thi thi to Amazon. Yeah. There's a line at the end of this movie where Becky says to Jonathan, she's like, why? And he's like, don't worry about it. It's too long of a story, but it's over. And I was like, wait, like, I want to know why too. Yeah, that was my whole thing. It was just like, because'm because of daddy issues, right? Like, even with the dad, they're like, the one point where Wolfgang is doing, like, fucking Wolfgang? For no reason? He's like, Malcolm died a horrible death. And that's it. How did he die? Do we need to know? Or do we? We don't find out, do we?

We don't find out, do we? No? No. Okay. Let me see if I can th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that that that. thate. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the one. the the the the one. the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. okay. Let me see if I can quickly summate this movie. So we start off with the satanic sacrifice of a newborn that gets thwarted by the mother of the newborn. And Jack Nance is there, aka a wolf gang. A, Arraiserhead. Yes, aka Arraiserhead. And he runs away and the baby's coming to this house for the first time that Wolfgang has been living at the entire time and has been his caretaker the entire time.

Yeah, it makes no sense. He did the worst job hiding that baby. He did. He kept him, yeah. But he kept him away, right. Like this was the first time that this kid was 38 years old. I know what he's this th. He th. He th. He th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. thi. th. th. thi. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He was. He was. He was th. He was t. He was t. He was t. He was t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. You're saying this kid, that man is 38 years old. He's 25. He's not 25. Get a job. His A.A.R. P. Card falls out of his pocket at one point. There's like also that dumpy little grave. And he's like, oh, that belongs to me now. Let's see how that works.

I would say that if I found a grave with a pedigram on my property. That's mine now. The kiddult gets really into his father's black magic, conjures gollies, has a party. Has a party where he conjures gooleys. Right. Right. And then it's just a shitty boyfriend for a while. And it has a school. Why is he in school full? I know non-traditional students but not fooling me. You know he's just, he's just a shitty boyfriend for a while. Right. Drops out of school. Why is he in school full? I know non-traditional students, but you're not fooling me. You know, he's just, he's reached midlife and he decided on a career change. Yeah. And then he has another party that's even shittier than the first party.

And then it's oath. But is it? But is it? Coolies. You're right. It is a cliffhanger. That's actually a line. Oh, right? Yeah, I think you're right. Oh, and Olivia Benson's in it. Yeah. Yeah. Which, just gorgeous. Beautiful woman. Olivia. Oh, Mariska Harkate. She looks so much like Fibi. Da da. Da. She looks so much like Phoe B. the movie. Yeah. She looks so much like Fee B. the the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. the. th. the. the. the. th. Yeah. Yeah. the. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. I this movie. Yeah, but then there's also that other woman who looks just like a like sort of a bunco version of her. The other woman? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Why did she look just like her?

Yeah. Because it was the 80s and everybody had feathered hair. I guess so. I was really charmed by the like gay couple that were always wasted. Yeah. They were like like the the the one the one the one th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thuine thi that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. that the that the that that that that that that that that that that the smartest people in the movie. They were very sweet. Yeah. The one guy that looked like a Dana Carvey character. I called him what trial well because he looks like Tim Robbins and what's his phrase from 24 Kyle Sutherland? Keeper Sutherland. How dare you? I just saw one of my first notes is what her chest bubble. Oh what was that? What happened there? Can someone describe that to me?

I thought they cut away from it right? Was it? It was about to explode and we could see what was going on? But what was it? Satan? I'm looking at you, Tessa. I feel like you should have the answers. You're the resident expert. You're the ghoulies professional. I was hoping you're going to go for golly spurt.

Not a good port band? No. No. When did the chest bull. I like, I can picture the chest bough? I like I can picture the chest. It was at the very beginning when the mother is like trying to save the baby and she puts a talisman on him and then her chest? And then her chest. Yeah like maybe a demon came out of it. Okay maybe we wouldn't know. Killed Malcolm. Maybe. I also in that first scene thought that Malcolm was

Yannosh from Ghost Wester's two and I really wish he had been. He was a legit rock and roll star. The upper best side? Yannosh? No. Michael Debar. He sang for the band Power Station after Robert Palmer left the band. Oh, that's why you asked if I knew power station. Yeah, yeah. Power station was the band. Oh, that's why you asked if I knew who power station was. Yeah, yeah. Power Station was the side project of somebody from Duran-Duran because I'm 143 years old, I know this. And he's a count or something? He's a count. Yeah.

Pretty cool guy. He had two earrings. He had two earrings. That's how you know he was cool. I feel like the 80s that was not that cool. Was that cool? One earring was cool. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, one earring. And there was like etiquette for which ear you had your earring. 80s were kind of dumb. This movie is so amazingly 80s, though, like,

the Satanism, there's weird puppets, which apparently was a big thing in the 80s. There's sunglasses. There's people just waving rubbers around, which I feel is like. Although, like, I couldn't. Oh, yeah, that's in Puppedmaster too, as well. Yeah. There's like people in 70s clothes. There's 50s cars. And the food was very, like, 60s.

So I don't really know if they knew what, that that that that that that that that that that that that that that they were that they were that that that they were they were that that they were, that they were in the 80s. What was the food that they were eating? Like at the dinner party it was like, stuff in a ass pick? Things on lettuce. Oh. Yeah, that's true. Despite being of its time, it was confused as to its, yeah. Yeah. And Dick is a very, like, 50s greaser character. What is he doing? Being gross. He's also really old.

He was a really old. My friend, you can call me Dick, but you could call me Dick? Was that his line? Yeah. I just kept calling him shitty Morrissey. Oh, that's harsh to Morrissey. We can be harsh to Morrissey. Can we?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I didn't get the be shitty anymore. What's he shitty about? He just says a lot of xenophobic things. Oh boy. He's a older man from England. He's saying some rough stuff. Yeah. Did you notice that when in the initial party scene before they go to bring the ghoulies about the party music is just on like a 15-second loop? No. Did, they, they, they, they, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it was, it was, it, it was just, it was just, it's, it's, it's, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's th-a, it's th-a, he's just th-a, he's just thi, he's just says thi, he's just says thi, he's just says thi, he's just says thi, he's just says, he's just says, he just says, he just says, he just says, he just says, he th th th th th th th th th th th, he th, he th, he th, he th, he th, he th, he th, he's th, he's th, he's th, he's th, he's th-he th-he thi, he's just thi, he's just says the-a, he's just says thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, he's just says th goolies about the party music. It's just on like a 15 second loop. No. It was just like, boom, da, da, bunt,

da, bump, boom, boom. I was like, how is no one noticing that? What's going on? I didn't. I'd be losing my mind when I was at this party. I didn't notice because that guy was break dancing and hurting his little head. I think I heard my head. Oh good, I thought you'd hurt yourself. Oh, and all the joints and pills that fall out of his pockets while he's doing his backspin?

I have a question about one of the party goers that really doesn't matter at all. What is the toad boy thing? Why was that guy doing that? No idea. Why were they friends with him? Why was Mariska Harkatea all about him? I don't know, she was like a, she's like a pomaciac. Oh, that guy. Yeah, he's like, toad boys feeling sad or whatever, like, super creepy. I hated him. Yeah. I hated him. Why is anyone talking to him? Why? Or letting him tickle them.

No, I would not let that man put a finger on me. And she's into it. She's like, oh, Mark. Well, didn't she say like early on that they'd like gone to the bone zone? Or she like, she like, hooked up with him? Yeah, she said they went on a date date to to to to to date to to date to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tooen, to to to to tooomdeen, to to too to tooom. to tooom a date and then he got weird. Yeah, you never met this man. It was the 80s, everybody had a toad boy? No. How about the clown doll? Yeah. That was real weird, right?

It was. I didn't know like what its deal was because it was moving by itself. But then it was just a big hand. Yeah, eventually it was. But it also got up and moved at one that, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, everybody, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. then it was just a big hand. Yeah, eventually it was, but it also got up and moved at one point. Right. Like, it wasn't there a gully inside of it at one point? Like the mask rips open? Right. Yeah. That was even before it, like, the like gullies were conjured that it was moving. Oh yeah, you're right. Oh yeah, when it just like goes into the club. I think they were like, this must have been post-Poultergeist, which has the big clown attack scene in it. They've been like, hmm, clown attacks. Sure.

We're already ripping off gremlin. theymea. I didn't mind because itthat happened in this room. Like what are the little people? Who? What are they? Who are they? What are they doing? Greedy guts and what's they're doing?

Grisel? Right? I feel like they really blew it on. Greedy guts. What's this one called? The guy's like cutting up a steak is like, no, grizzle? Gristle? Like, what are they and what are they doing? And then they double cro- I don't. They're minions, right? I don't know? They're minions?

You mean like that movie? I've never seen the movie. Are they a? I don't know. Is there a grizzle and grizzle and grizzle grizzle grizzle and grizzle and gribble gribble gribble gribble gribble gribble gribble gribble gribble gribble gribble gribble. I? I? I? Is the grizzle and gri. I? Is the grizzle and gri. I? Is their grizzle and gri. I? Is their grible and grizzle and gri. I'm a grizzle? I'm a grizzle? I'm a grizzle? I'm a grizzle? I'm a grizzle? I'm a grizzle? I'm a gri. I'm a gri. I'm a gri. I'm a grizzle? Is their gri. I gri. I gri. I grizzle? Is their grizzle and gribble, their. Is their. Is their. I? Is their bribzzle and grizzle and grizzle and grizzle and grizzle and grizzle and grizzle and gri. I? Is their bribble gri. I'm a grizzle and grizzle and grizzle and grizzle and grizzle and grizzle and grizzle? I'm a grizzle and grizzle and grizzle and grizzle? a tidy 81 minutes long. And it packs in so much and yet so little. Like there's a cleaning montage in this movie, but they don't explain any of the ritual. The cleaning montage is to like music that's like something bad is going to happen. But it's like a really happy cleaning one time.

He's just cleaning. He's just getting the house together for him and his girlfriend. Yeah, and they're, oh my gosh, they're like, this house is terrible, it really needs cleaned up. It's like a fine house. No, it's fine. People have no sense of reality. And he does all that in thia. thia. thia. thia thia. thia thia thia thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus their, their, thus tho. tho. And he tho. And he tho. And he thi. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th. And he th. And he th. And he does thi. And he does thi. And he does thi, oh, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, tho. He cleans the house and conjure and like builds that ritual area in the basement. And perfects metalurgy. What does he make? He's like, oh yeah I'm cleaning all this up. Let me make this talisman from a girl. And it just like

you see him like heating it up and then he pulls it out and he's like hits it with the screwdriver and then it's this immaculate little talisman. Wow. Metalgy. Are we are th. Are th. Are th. Are th. Are th. Are th. Are th a th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th a th. I th. th a th. th a th a th. th a th a th a th a th th th th thi. thi. thi. I thi. thi. I thi. I th. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. the. theat. ta. ta. tall. tall. tall. tall. tall. tall. tall. tall. the. the. the th. th. th it's this immaculate little talism. Wow. Metalogy. Or is he cleaning it off? I don't know. It looked like he was, because he like, he heated it though. He did heat it. How does metal works? It seems like anybody can do it. The notes that I have that are sexy time paired with tiny nipples are really screaming. Wow. We're a tiny nipple. The th th th. th. th. th. th. thine thine thin- thin-I I thin-I, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi th thi th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. It thi. It's thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. Itiny nipple. The old guy, the star of the movie, had like these tiny, tiny nipples. It was really weird.

I didn't notice that. Was he supposed to be hunky? Oh yeah. Oh, really? I think so. He looked like shitty soap opera. I don't know. I like how much animosity you have to tow to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to the to to the to the to to to to the to to to to to to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tow. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. t a low rent person. You know what I mean? That's terrible.

Also, like, the girlfriend finds him in the basement, like, conjuring rain. And he's like, I love you and she's like, fine. I love you doesn't explain how you conjured rain. So if you go into a basement and your significant other is conjuring rain and has glowing yellow eyes. Is your first reaction to get real mad at him? What are you doing? Well, is he skipping dinner or not? That's, I guess, the question.

Or do you ask more specific questions? Like, is this magic? No. Is there a busted pipe? Do we need to call a plumber? Do you have like a terrible ocular infection? Those contacts look jacked at certain points in the movie, too. Sometimes he looked cool and sometimes I was like,

I think that one's on like inside out. Like, they just seemed very uncomfortable. I like that when he's like to talking to someone with the glowing eyes, they would do a far away shot from the person's perspective, and his eyes wouldn't be glowing anymore because they couldn't have the black light right up against his face to make them look. Because there's one scene where he's like revealing his eyes to his lady friend. And he pulls his sunglasses down, so many sunglasses. And when he's pulling them down, you can see the black light in the lens of the sun glasses. Oh, not so bad. But I didn't notice.

Oh, and when he levitates at one point, during the second party, he like starts levitating and you can see the rig that's on wheels behind him. It's supposed to do about it. I was so into it, I didn't notice. It's just accepting it all. Oh, that's beautiful. Just suspending your disbelief. I have another question for you both. Please.

If you inherit a house and it's all full of occult stuff, are you stoked or bummed? Depends on the occult stuff, I guess. Go on. Like, if the robes are polyester and like make you sweat, then no, because that would be worthless. But that basement had like a cool kind of fake marble floor. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. That was cool. Like a natural fiber robe. Something that breathes for your rituals. So you're saying you're definitely going headfirst into the ritual aspect of this? Yes. So you inherit a house, you're doing the rituals is what you're saying.

You are Jonathan is what you're saying. No, because I don't want power. No. And I would want to know what the rituals did. Did he know? No. Oh, God, no. That's why he called up the, uh, grizzle guts. That was what they were supposed to do, explain this to him? They knew the like ultimate ritual. Like, he didn't even know what it was doing. Because it called up his dad. Yeah, the ultimate ritual was to conjure his father back. Now I get it. But why? Why? the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. thuuuu, th. th. th. th. thu, thu, thu, thu, th. thi thi th. th. th. thi thi thi, thi, that's thi, that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thu, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. thi. thi. Uh, thi. Uh, thus, th. Uh, the the threat, thus, the thus, thri. Uh, thus, thi. Uh, thi. Uh,? But he didn't, yeah, he didn't know that.

No. Hmm. So, because his father kind of reveals that like, his plan all along was for this to happen. Why? So that he could get brought back and have power? Power? Because he just, he just wanted to kill his son, right? That was the whole point. Right, he had to finish his initial ritual. What was his initial ritual? I mean I know he's gonna kill the son, but for what? Oh I've got this one. Power. Okay. I feel like this is like an Alu-Qaarda level of just Satan and the rest of it you just have to be like, all right, okay, okay. Is the power going to buy in them a yacht? Is it like, is that the power? I would love a yacht. Just down on the Ohio and a yacht.

It doesn't make any sense because. You already have a giant house. It's true. Like, what did they do to get the house? No, it's true. W what, what, what did they? What did did? What did? What did? What did? What did? What did? What did? What did? What did? What did? What did? What did? What did? What did? What did? What did? What? What? they? they? they? they? the? the? the? the? the? their? their? they? they? their? their? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? What? What? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What is he? Why was his wife into this? Why did she allow the baby to be brought there? Why didn't she do a better job of, when they carry the baby out, she just like reaches out her hand,

like, excuse me, waiter? And then it just watches the baby go out. None of it. I feel like you currently have an onion in your hand and that onion is called Gouldies and you're gonna peel back the first layer of it and it's just gonna be filled with a fart and you're gonna be real confused about what's happening. You're trying to dig it like none of it makes any sense and they're just like they don't give a fuck no no so we're making movie. No so like we're making movie. This is an Italian guy yeah. It was yeah. Did he speak the English. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. I th. th. I th. th. the. the the. the the the the the the the. the the the thi. the the the the thi. th was, yeah. Did he speak the English? I think so. He wrote all four of the Gouldies movies.

Oh, really? Yeah, it's the same guy who wrote them all. I think my issue is that I wanted more Goulies. If you're going to call it Goulies, have the Gullies have something to do. Right. Yeah. special though of like I've got this much special effects that I can do like every one of the movies that he's produced this the credit sequences are two days long yeah like that opening credit is just like oh you're this is gonna be 15 minutes so you can make an 80 minute movie like how awesome well I

thought when dad when Malcolm comes to thrown to the today I'm like a. When thou the took I'm thoo's th. When I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. tho' thin. tho' tho' the tho' the the their their they. they. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. theymememeauauauauauauauau. their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the theymeaughee. And I was like, that's good. That's real good. When he comes out of the ground the first, at first, I'm like, that looks so fucking good. When he's screaming? Yeah. I laughed so hard at that, because they're all screaming and then he's screaming. I loved that.

I love that. Terrible. His makeup was terrible. He was like... Little flakes all on his wrinkles. It was like my mom did my makeup to go trick-or-treating, and it looks pretty cool for my mom having done it. Yeah. And then sometimes when you had to come back or reshute stuff, your mom didn't feel like going through the full thing, so she just kind of painted your gray. She just put her hands on your face and slapped a couple times. Just wet the ashtray a little bit, rub it on, and then you're done. I also wanted more Jack Nance in this movie. You know that dude died?

Yeah. That's fucked. I didn't realize it was him till the very end when he went like, like on the top of the stairs and I was like, I know those sparkling blue eyes. Yeah, he was like, he was like, he was beaten to death, right? Like, in a donut she got in a fight in a donut store. Oh really? Yeah. But for some young punks, beat him to death.

It's a real big bummer because he always seemed like the nicest dude. Yeah. Even an eraser head where he's a total maniac. He still seemed like a super nice to hear it. Poor guy. But I love when like, so he shows up throughout the movie and he's just kind of. No, he does not, Alan. He is in the first scene and the last scene. I thought he showed up the, no. He shows up when they get the house and they don't know who he is. Yeah, oh yeah, yeah.

Except, he's the guy. Oh no, you see him in his bedroom once. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, I'm sorry. Because it's, but I was like, this is where he lives. But somehow you've never been here before, but this guy raised you. I don't understand. It doesn't make any sense. Yeah, like I didn't understand how he knew about Wolf King, but not the grave. Right. It just doesn't make any sense. easy to make it work, right? Oh yeah, a second pass would have really fleshed this out. What caused him to come back to the house? He inherited it. Yes, but his father had been dead sometime. I saw the grave. Did Wolfgang get around executing the will? Maybe it was his 25th

birthday that engaged this? Why would Wolfgang like bring him back? I don't know? The whole point that he shouldn't be. Where did he live? Where did he grow up? Because Wolfgang runs out of the house with holding the baby and then just turns around and looks at the house and then the scene cuts and you're like, where are you going? What are you doing? I think he lived in reverse space because he was older than he should have been. Okay, that'll I'll th I'll th I'll th I'll th I'll th th th. You th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi wo thi wo. th. th. th. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. th. W. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. W. been. Okay that I'll accept. You got some Benjamin Button things going on here. But I love like so you see Jack Nance in the beginning and he's just like not the when we see in the second time and he's wearing like just overalls and he's the caretaker and he's got that really shitty press on beard that's great and then he shows back up at the end and he's in full like like just wizard the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's th. th. th. th. th. I'm just just just just. I's thi's th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I I's th. I I I's th. I I I's th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's like. I's like. I's like. I'm. I'm. I'm. So. And th. And th. And to th. And to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'll that's great. And then he shows back up at the end and he's in full like, like just wizard rope. Like hilarious like bestard wizard rope.

Yeah. And then they have an eyeball fight for a really long time. Oh right, when they're laser eyeing. I feel like they were just like, how are we going to use this technology? You know? Charles can do this, you know. I really owned laser eye tech. But they hadn't because they were like shooting lasers and they're just like going to the left. I'm like up.

I couldn't really hurt somebody with those lasers. Oh, shit. Okay, so let me just, so the... So the, what, how did he starts the ritual because he finds this book. Right. And that conjures the ghoulies. And their purpose is blank. To run around the house.

And sometimes just sit on the arm of chairs like cats. Yeah, which I like. That was my favorite gooly, the one with the big eyes. Yeah. The one that looks kind of sick? Not the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the ritual ritual ritual ritual ritual ritual ritual ritual ritual ritual ritual ritual ritual ritual ritual ritual ritual ritual ritual ritual ritual ritual ritual ritual ritual ritual ritual ritual ritual ritual ritual ritual ritual. th. Right the ritual ritual ritual ritual ritual ritual. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the ritual ritual ritual ritual ritual ritual ritual. Right. Right. Right. Right. which I like. That was my favorite gooly, the one with the big eyes. Yeah. The one that looked like it was kind of sick? Not the toilet gooly. The toilet ones that look like an infant and then there was three of them all the sudden. Oh, okay. And then there was like a mole gully and a rat gully, which they looked very similar. Okay, I there were four types or three, but I'm not sure. There's all these internet theories about why the goolies looked the way they did. That they were apparently, like, they're the like demons of, they were conjured from sacrificing babies.

That's why a lot of them looked like little babies. And it was like, you're retconning that. They they they they they they they they they they they they they they they were they were they were they were th. They th. They were th. They were th. They were th. They were thi. They were thi. They were thi. They were like, thi. They were like, thoomed. They were like, thi. They were thoomed thoomed were thoomed were thoomed were thoomed were thoom-like, thoomed. They were thoomed. They were like, th. They were like, th. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were like, th. They were like, th. They were like, th. They were like, thi. They were like, thi. They were like, thi. They were like, thi. They were like, thi. They were like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thooooooooved. They were like, like, like, babies. And it was like, you're retconning that. They did not think of that when they were making this movie. No, but I appreciate any effort to make it work, you know. They could have been sacrificing animals. That's very true. Because they look like animals. Like toads and moles and rats and smash face cats.

I feel like if someone sacrifices a mole or a rat or smash face cat to you, you're like, come on. You know, you just. You just found that. It's not a sacrifice if you just found it. You gotta work up to babies. I guess that's true. Can we talk about a hallmark of a Charles Band movie?

Please. Gross weird sex scene? Yeah. There's the when tiny nipples isn't like it has finally wooed his lady friend into bed with him. Yeah. She's wearing her negligee as you do because it's 1984. Everyone is wearing skin colored tops in this movie.

The most erotic of tops in this movie, I guess, to say. The most erotic of the tank tops. And then they start bumping and grinding, and the little rat-faced gooly gets up on the side of the bed, and she's like, eh? And then the dude starts bumbling an incantation, and she notices to the bed. What was he trying to do? Was he trying to make another baby so he could kill it? Oh, grand baby. Maybe I'm ascribing too much. No, I like that. I want to understand. I'll take any explanations. Yeah, that could be. I like it. That's good. I thought he was just trying to like possess her in some way, like he does later where she just becomes like like an an an an he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be torying to like possess her in some way like he does later where she just

becomes like an automaton. He doesn't know what he's doing. He didn't know what he was doing. It's true it's not his fault. She's not mad at him at the end so it's clearly not his fault. Do you think she got to keep that amazing spiderweb necklace that she was wearing during the second dinner party? Where did that even come from? Maybe he metallurgy did. But that was obviously the inspiration for the Beetlejuice dinner scene, right? Oh, yeah. Obviously. They're all wearing sunglasses. And they're all standing and drinking. What, like, what was the... I know I'm like looking for logic where it does not exist.

But so they all drink from this like, their wine glass. Fillet filled with obviously collaid. Yeah, it's not even a rosé. They're not even trying. And then they're suddenly in the basement. We're wearing KKK rope. They kind of looked like the occultists from that, oh, was that fucking movie, the space movie, Hellraiser in the hospital.

The triangle movie. Yeah, it was the void. They looked like the occultist in the void. The triangle. Yeah. We got it. The two of us together became one brain. One the the the the the the the the the the us together became one brain of Netflix.

I loved the thing of like when he conjures them and he's like, you shall not be seen but any eyes but my eyes. So during the dinner party like the one comes up out of the soup, the ones in the turkey or the ham or whatever. Oh yeah, that is. And he loves it, he's like, yes. I'm so old. So, why are the... So, why are they... Why do they need them for the ritual? They just need to die? There had to be seven.

Why? Yep. Okay. I don't know. Somebody says there has to be seven at one point. I just feel like they could have done one one exposition the exp exp exp exp exp exp exp exp exp exp exp exp exp exp exp exp exp exp exp exp exp exp exp exp exp they they the the the they the the the they the the they the they the the they their they they their they they there has to be seven at one point. I just feel like they could have done one exposition scene where they explained the rituals. If Wolfgang's gonna do narration, he could have just done that, you know? I love spotty, shitty narration.

I love just like, I'm gonna be in here for like 10 minutes. We're gonna spread this narration through the entire movie. I love being startled when it starts again. You're like like, th,ing to me? This movie had all sorts of like weird references. Like the clown, I think was a Polter Christ reference. Um, when he shows his eyes to Rebecca, Becky, Becky, Becky, just keeps going back and forth between those. Those are both her name, to be fair. Oh, she's Becca? Oh, jeez.

Now I'm out. You go nail one. I the th. And she th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the, the. thi. thi. thi. the, the, the, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. theea. the the thi. the the the thi. thi. Oh, geez. Now I'm out. You're gonna nail one town. And she goes, what have you done to your eyes? And I was like, Is that a Rosemary's Baby reference? What have you done to its eyes? Oh, maybe. Also Satanist. Yeah. They're like, you guys seen these good movies? How about this? We'll make one even better. Yeah. Were you surprised to learn that the gooleys and the little people were not working together? That surprised me. No, were they not? Well, no, because he's like, I hate these disgusting little creatures and then they like, he gets mad at them. I don't know, maybe they are working together. I don't know,

maybe I was wrong. But they don't kill anyone. Well, they're working for Malcolm, right? So the little people are working for Malcolm and the gullies are working for Jonathan? No, the gullies are working for Malcolm. Are they? Everybody's in league with Malcolm. All right. I love, I thought Grizzle and, uh, there's the other one. Greedy Guts. We're really good actors. Like, there's that scene where they're like, Grisel starts telling him what's happening.

And like, Greedy Guts is like hitting him and we're like, no, you can't, you can't, come on, come on, come on, come on. And I was like, this is the best acting I've seen up to this point in this movie. It's true. Except for Marish Harkete. She's really like, she's the one who's like, when she's on the screen, you're like, I'm going to pay attention to her now. I'm going to see what's going on with her. Do you think that just because you know she grows up to be Olivia Benson? I knew she was in S-VU. I wanted an ice T to pop in and explain a crime to me at some point? Do you ever see those those memes those memes those memes those memes those memes those memes those memes those memes those memes those memes those memes those memes those memes those memes those memes those memes those memes those memes those memes thi memes thi memes thi memes thi memes thi memes thi memes thi memes thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. Do thi. Do thi. Do thi. Do thi. Do thi. Do thi. Do thi. Do thi. Do you know to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. to thi. thi thi thi thi explaining like explaining crimes on the internet but it's just like it's called something they take kids and make them think it's forget they had a birthday I can't even I'm not doing a good job yeah there's like a

whole tumbler of them Google ice tea memes I guess that'll probably get you there. They were actually at gaming last night. People were reading them off at the table and they were very, very ridiculous. There's a lot of screaming in this movie? Terrible screaming. That girl, the Bunko, Olivia Benson, can't, every time she has to scream, she just covers her mouth with her hands and then they pipe in a scream. Did you notice that? I didn't, but now that you mentioned it, I do remember

her, and like, I love when the guy, when our main guy screams the table away. Yeah. It's like just kind of shitty magic. He does do a lot of shouting. Can we talk about the tongue lady? Oh yeah. If you guys talk about the tongue lady, I have nothing to say. Well that's Malcolm. Malcolm is the tongue lady. Yeah. What, how do I not know that? How did you know that?

Because she appears where he is where he is where he is a hot lady and Dick comes down the stairs? It's like, hey, and he's a hot lady and Dick comes down the stairs. And she's like, hey, I'm Dick. And then they start making out. Why do the movie dudes always fall for that? Like, why would you think that this was a thing that was happening to you? I can't imagine inthe tongue. I liked it.

Yeah, me too. It was very like Japanese yokei. I watched this with Missiana and another friend of ours, and when they cut away, so originally it's like the puppet head with the tongue shooting out of it, and then they cut away to the actual actress just holding the tongue in her mouth. And we all just erupted at that. It was so fucking like, I realized like, I'd seen this movie, I saw it when I was a kid,

and then I saw it again a couple years ago, I was like, I'm gonna watch Goolies and I hated it. I watched it alone. Why? And then I watched it alone. It was fine. One thing I actually really liked was when they sort of get that everybody gets killed by coolies I guess or tongues and they all have to go down to the basement and they're like kind of warming down. Oh yeah. I loved that. That was legit creepy. Yeah. I have the note her tongue strangles him.

Now it's his tongue? Explain yourself, Tessa. I have no rej-. That's followed by I like this Dana Carvey looking mothfucker. Yeah, he should have gotten more to do. Oh, man. I hope, is that still a thing in teen movies of the two dudes that are just high out of their mind giggling throughout the entire movie?

I hope so. I haven't seen a teen movies, other than can't hardly wait. I think they're all sincere now, all the teen movies. Oh, that's true. Oh, that's true. Somebody's got some fatal disease and you have to just spend their last year with them. Right. Everybody is learning lessons and loving each other. Creston Myers. Did you mention on this podcast that you finally saw Can't

Hartley Wait? I don't know if I did. I finally saw Can't Harley Wait. I loved every moment of it right? I look forward to doing our episode on it. Maybe next April Fools. What was the thing where they pulled the little Rascals gambit where Grizzle and Greedy got on each other's shoulders with a gully on top of their heads? That was when the guy in the music shirt, Dana Carby's friend, was like looking for him and they was such an elaborate prank just to kill this guy. They like pretend to be him because they're in his coat and they're like smoking the joint. And then he moved, he's like, don't boo, their, their, their, their, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, thuol, thuol, thuol, thu. Oh, they, they, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with a, with a, with a their, with, with, with a their, with, with, their, their, their, their, their, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th be him because they're in his coat and they're like smoking the joint and then he moved he's like don't bougar at that. And they turn around and they, uh, Gristle has a best face too. He's like barely standing.

That's right because the goolly was on top their head to be that guy's hair. Is that what it was? Oh my god. It was so dumb. The little people, I just felt to be so confusing. What are they? I don't... They have this weird helmets? How did they get there? He conjured them.

Okay. So you can conjure Gooly, little people and rain. Right. Okay. And his dad. He's dead. Again, not the best magic's. Kiss me, my son. That's a line in this movie. He said something also about taking the youth from his lips and I was like, somebody already did.

Time. Yeah, time, time and all that education he has. This is where I have the note, there is a distinct lack of goolees and gollies. Yes. Yeah. Why aren't there more gollies? That's kind of the puppet master problem too, isn't it? Oh, there's definitely, I feel like there's there's there's there's there's there's the the the there's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi thi thia' thiouc, thiou-a' thioliolies. thiolies. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. thi. thi. t. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. tia. tia. tia. tia. tia. tia. tia. tia. tia. t Oh, there was definitely, I feel like there's more puppets. Yeah. They've been complained about the amount of puppets.

Yeah. You could have them creeping all sorts of places in the back of shots. They didn't do that. They just have to be somewhere where you can't see their legs, so you can't see the hand teeth. But in that great, like there's the sea where all the, where everyone's screaming, including all of the gullies. And one of them, you can see the dude's fingers inside of the gullies mouth.

No, you can. You can. Ruini, it's not taking the magic. But the one that comes up out of the soup that's later in their bracelet during the tickle attack. Right. When he screams or they scream, their mouth is just like a quarter-inch deep so it's just like a stretched rubber. I was like how does he eat? How does this get what's it doing? What do you goolees eat? Is that like baleen? Is he just like straining things to get crill? Because there's no krill in that fountain.

Those are the gullies I would look for every time I used a toilet for like my entire child. Yeah. Apparently there was a big campaign about those posters where people were trying to get them taken down because kids were like kids that were potty training were now terrified because of those posters being everywhere. Toilets are scary. There's that one, I think it was a dis-American life story about someone going to use a toilet and there being a rat in the toilet, but I'm like permanently terrified of toilets because of that. Jesus. And I heard that in like my late 30s, so. I have not used a toilet since, unfortunately. So, how did this movie end? Wolfgang defeats dad? Does Wolfgang defeat?

Oh, I don't know. How does he die? I believe, because I have the note, help your dude after the note, eyeball fight, because Wolfgang is losing the eyeball fight. And Jonathan runs in with his dad's dagger and stabs him. Oh, had we seen that dagger prior? I'm right the Trident weird thing. Oh.

That seems also confusing because Becky is like an automaton, and then she's dead. Yeah. And then she's an automaton again. And then she's fine. But nothing changes for any of these things to happen. Well, she puts the necklace on her, takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes to to to to to to to to to to these things to happen. Well, she puts the necklace on her, takes it off, and then she is not an automaton. Oh, okay.

Fine. Wait, is this the talisman that he made? Yeah. And um, guys. But then at the end, she totally forgives killed all of their friends and like Probably raped her. Yeah While she was an entomaton. Oh, yeah Oh, yeah Well, no all the friends are alive. Didn't you remember when he was going to I mean he killed them in his in his world like he did that, but in typical middle-aged white man fashion. It wasn't his fault.

Somebody else made him do it. Just following orders. Another white man made him. her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the. Yeah, the the the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the the the he. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, in. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the the the the the the the the th. the th. the th. the the the the the fashion, it wasn't his fault. Somebody else made him do it. Just following orders. Another white man made him do it. That's true. An older white man. Yeah. Oh. How was she not mad at him?

I don't know. I don't. Considering how mad she got just for him not being at dinner? Well, she was just making eggs. I th, th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. th. th. th. thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi.'s fasting. He ended up going to dinner so I guess it was okay. That's true. Although she was just making eggs I saw her do it. She's just cracking them into a pan. It was just cracking them into a pan. Oh, it was just like you don't have to wash more dishes. It doesn't taste. Yeah. Although I'd like it to the way it tas. Don't do it ahead of the, just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just the way. Don't do it the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thin, thin, thin, thin, the. the. the, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho tho tho, tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho. tho. tho, tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I the. I the the the the thea. I to thea. I to theea. I thea. I thea. I thea. It's thea. I the that's just how you don't have to wash more dishes. It doesn't tase any better. Oh, I think it does. I don't the way it tas. Mine?

Like the way it tas. Okay, fine. All right. There's a lot of sequels to this. Tell us what the scene in Goul saw the one scene where the guy's in the trailer at a carnival and he gets eaten by a gooly in the toilet. Oh no. And I was, I saw so many things I shouldn't have seen in my grandparents' house including a Ted Bundy made for a TV movie. Oh wait, that's the one starring Mark Harmon. Yes. And I had no idea what it was till last year when I figured it out. But it was that and that that scene in Gouli's and I never forgot it. Apparently the impetus to this movie was that Gouli coming out of a toilet.

Was like the spark that like set the fire of this movie going. Really? And it's been like misattributed to Charles Band. He was like, now somebody else came up with that idea. It wasn't mine. Wow. Well, that's the best idea. Yeah. Coolie, toilet. Also, the second one was directed by his father, Albert Band. Oh yeah. Charles Band's dad. They're a very a very prolific family. Yeah. His brother is a quite an accomplished soundtrack maker. Really? Richard Band. Rich Chuck and Albao Band. Also, apparently Albert Band was born Alfredo Anthony. So that's nice.

How do you end up with Band from Antonini? I mean, I have a, uh, a relative who, upon arriving in America, change his name from Pasquale to Charlie, so yeah. Yeah, these things happen. I guess if you could get a do over over. th. th. th. th. th. th. Rich. Rich. Rich. th. Rich. Rich. Rich. to to to to to th. Rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich. Rich. Rich. Rich. Rich. Rich. Rich. Rich. Rich. Rich. Rich. Rich. Rich. Rich. Rich. Rich. Rich. Rich. Rich. Rich. Rich. Rich. Rich. Rich. Rich. Rich. Rich. Rich. Rich. Rich. Rich. Rich, to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. Rich, thi. Rich, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, richale to Charlie. So, yeah, these things happen. I guess if you could get a do-over, why not just go for it? I would also really like to see Goulies 3, Goulies go to college. Anybody?

Anybody? Yeah. No. I've only seen up to do with Frat House's and Hellweek. What year did that come out? 1991. Holy shit, that's way too late for a Gouldie movie and there's another one after it. 1994, Goulies 4.

I think the last two were straight to a video. I just like that they're out there living their lives. The Gooly? Without Malcolm, just doing what they're out there living their lives. The Goulies? Without Malcolm, just doing what they want to do. Well apparently, Jonathan Graves returns in the fourth movie as a detective who has to deal with the Goulies. So I guess it kind of all comes full circle for him. It's just pop in Centrum Silvers to keep himself up. Honestly, you guys so old.

Oh, with another reference, he gets like real Amityville Horror at one point where she finds him just outside staring at the grave and he looks like, you know, the one dude in Amityville Horror when he starts getting all messed up looking. Yeah. And she's like, you like terrible. I know. Do you want to go have weird sex? A golly's gonna watch. I think the gullies were jerking it?

A hundred percent. At least no one got their nipple looked by a puppet at this one. Oh, God. Well, the gully's arms really aren't long enough to jerk it. That's probably true. God those poor goolees! He can't even jerk it. I'm tempted to see if there's fan art somewhere out there of goolees jerking it. I'm googling. I figure if there's a whole thing of dragons fucking cars in the internet universe. Do you

not know about this? There's like a whole, I don't know if it started on Reddit or 4chan or something about dragons fucking cars and there's all these elaborate drawings of dragons and cars. Like just cars or cars the animated cars? Just cars it's dragons fucking tailpipes of cars. Oh. Well I'll tell you what. A Google image search for ghoulies masturbating does not bring up gullies, but it does bring up masturbating.

This one's called slut gags on cock, so that's not really what I was looking for. Guess what I won't be reposting on. This one just says big lips masturbating with brush. So also not what I was looking for. Sorry Katie. No, that's okay. What else am I looking at, dragons and cars? I'll bring it up.

You've done enough. Yeah, I gotta put that safe search back on. Oh boy. They're so good. I love him so much. I love him so much sweeter What? That's much sweeter than I thought it would be. Yeah, it's sort of loving. That one is less sweet.

That one has a big fucking dong. Oh, they're just so file. Are you going to link to that? Fuck no. I do how like how stoked everyone was about thethe I'm sorry Miss Jackson I am four eels that I didn't I didn't I didn't know how to react Is that goalies do we do gollies I don't know did they do goolies? Does everything else you like to say about goolies? No?

As the resident expert? The Gooly Connoisseur. So it sounds like we're moving on to the ratings? Yeah. Tessa? You go first. This is your fault. Do you want to rate this movie first?

Okay. When is the last time you saw this movie? Let me ask you that. Um, a long time ago. Like, was this a surprise to you? It was long enough that I had forgotten that it was about Satanists. Okay. Yeah. But it was as an adult that I had seen it. Okay. How quickly we forget Satan. I watch a lot of horror movies. It's true.

They all start to blend together after a while. The greatest trick Satan ever pulled was convincing us he wasn't in goalies. Did you remember the Merska Harkite was it though? No. I had just read a story that was 272 descriptions of Law and order SVU that was actually like kind of lovecraftian. What is that? I want to read that. It's really good. That sounds right. Where did you find that? It's in a short story book called her body and other parties. Okay. I'll look into it. That sounds like something I would really like

to the they. It seemed really like I should have been watching Gooly's like it was meant to me.. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to the the the the the the the the the the to. I to. I to. I to. I to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. I. the. I. I. I. the. the. I. I. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to. the to. the the the the would really like to read. It seemed really like I should have been watching Goolees like it was meant to me. Yeah. How does that affect your rating of the film? Probably makes me like it. Yeah. So if you're going to give this one out of ten, where would you give a gullies? Hmm. Like 4.5?

You brought this ruby. That's a good rating. I feel like five is, I liked it. Five is like, uh, five is your center, you're half, half way through. You know what I mean? Five is the marker of decent, I feel. Yeah. This is just below. Okay. I'm not going to argue with you. I mean, to get, to get, you, I mean, to get, this this this this to to to to to to to to to of decent, I feel. This is just below.

Okay, I'm not gonna argue with you. I mean, to get like above seven, you have to be like really good. Yeah. What's a seven? Hmm. Like. Coolies too. That's a 10, we all know it. Katie.

Yeah. Can I read you a quote from Ice T-Meem real quick? From what? From an Ice-T meme? Oh yes, yes. They made him fight a newborn baby. Told him it was his own younger self, time traveling from the past, trying to take away his birthday. That's what it was. Trying to to take to the this tha tha tha tha to tha to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to to to their to their to to their their their their their their their their thae their thae tea. tea' tea' toa' toa' toa' toa' toe toe toe tea' toe tea' toe toe toe toe toe toe toe their their their their their their their their their their te toe their te to bea te te te te te te te te te m.e m.e m.e m.e me me meemememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememem, trying to take away his birthday. Oh, SVU. You got a rating for this, uh, this Gouldies movie?

You know, of the movies we've done that don't make any god damn sense. This one is one of them. It does not make a lick of sense. And it's just one of those things where like, it would be so easy to make it and make sense. This guy gets the house, he's going to do a ritual, it brings, inadvertently brings back his dead father who wants to kill him. Right? Right.

Right. Right. Right. But those, what, four sentences, you just said, three sentences, are then just the entire script? Right. Right, right, that's true. Um, this is really, it's really fun though. Yeah. I'm gonna give it a six and a half. I would watch, I like kind of want to watch the rest of the Goulies franchise

because it's real stupid. It's like exceedingly stupid. I love how stupid this is. I normally hate the stupid. You do. You normally hate that doesn't make sense. Yeah, but I can see that like, the lack of effort is almost charming in this case. There's just so much in it. Yeah, and so little in it.

It's all in nothing. It's, it's, it's everything, it's nothing. It's good, it's terrible. It's, is this God? We're in heaven? It is Alpha and Omega? Yeah. It's insane. Glees is where it begins and where it ends, for me. Ten. No. No. So we all know that I'm an old man and I was 10 years old in 1984. This movie made me want to buy packs an old man, and I was 10 years old in 1984. This movie made me want to buy packs of garbage bail kids, dip French fries and Wendy's frosties, like eat nerds candies, wear jams.

Is that why you're wearing the jams? They're an interesting choice. It just like, it felt so like beautifully 80s with like the satanic start to it all. It's so shitty. I'm gonna give, I this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi th thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. I'm to to to thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I like the satanic start to it all and like it's so shitty. I'm gonna give this movie an 8. Whoa! I had a lot of fun watching this movie. Yeah, it's really fun. I just want to say that my rating was good. It's just that my scale is not calibrated. Oh, you don't have the we don't know what we're doing scale that we've done for a hundred and this is like 171. No you know what you're doing. No no. This is the beauty of us we're the goolies of podcasts. We are everything and we are nothing. We're really enjoyable we have no

fucking idea what we're doing. You think we know we don't. Four and a half is just not a good rating. Yes it is. What would you give, what would be a ten? Give us a ten? Childs play two. Childs play two. That's my favorite ten.

Return of the Living Dead. No. Did you give that a ten? Oh, what a lunatic? You can't say you gave Jones play two a 10 in the line. It's delightful. Like a seven would be the dissent for me. Okay. I don't know. Like, I asked me to tell you a 10 is just making my mind go blank.

Like you've never, you have yet to see the 10 and when you ten. I probably have, I just can't think of it. Kubrick's the shining. That's pretty that's like. That's like. Shining. That's pretty good. That's like a six. Pretty good. No, I'd say that's like eight or nine. Okay. I feel like when you see a 10 you will just become light and drift away.

I had rare, like, I rarely give books five stars, so it's very hard for me to be like, this is the best day. What about open house? Which we watched a ladies nightmare a couple weeks ago which was... You can't even rate that on the same scale because it's not a horror movie. It's a Netflix movie with a kid the kid from 13 reasons why. Okay. It's... Not good. I came in about a third of the way through but so maybe he was good. I don't. It's not good. I came in about a third of the way through, but, so maybe it was good, I don't know. It didn't seem like it. You missed all the exposition at the beginning. Yeah, I did. It was described to me. I mean, they paused it.

Our description was probably better than the movie. Probably, yeah. Yeah, I would not recommend that one. Okay. Yes. is it? Yeah. Did you say it was not a horror movie? No, that's the thriller. Oh, excuse me. The lines are very blurry for me. Ah, I would have quiz you about what is and what isn't a horror movie, but probably don't have time for her. Single white female is like a thriller with overtones of horror.

All right. I'll take that. A subtle undertones of horror, notes of leather. All right, Tessa, is anything you want to plug, you want to plug your band? My band is called Bitter Whiskers, and... Oh, that's a good band name. Thank you. Yeah. We're like dreamy pop with two accordions and a guitar. Whoa. So check us out on Facebook, Instagram or SoundCloud and we're gonna have an EP out hopefully this year. Nice.

Top. Anything else? You want to plug? No. Thanks for having me? Thanks for going. Yeah, thanks for Goulies. I feel like it's a great addition to my life. You're welcome. Yeah. Yeah. Gullies, a great addition to my life. Yeah. That should be on the Ph.

Katie, where will the books? Katie, you enjoyed a goolies so much. Yes. Can I interest you in a thing, a box that will come to your house that's filled with tiny, amazing things that will bring you joy? Are they goolies? Because if so, I don't think I want them. No, they are a pins and pendants and magnets and st short stories and often candy.

The pendant thing we made up, right? Sure. Yeah, we gotta throw something in there just to confuse them. Just to make sure that they don't get what they want. It's a cryptocurrencyum, parcel of terror. What? If you give cryptochurium just $35 a month, you can be signed up for their monthly subscription box the parcel of terror which is full of all the things Alan just described all set to an interesting monthly horror theme. Yes indeed.

And I said set to. Set to. I liked it. A dial. Jason turns it up to horror. For less than a cup of coffee just 35 dollars a month. For less than two Domino's pizzas, an order of cheesy bread bread th th the th th th th th the th th th th th th th th th the th th th thi thi thi thi the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. All thi. All thi. All thi. All thi. All thi. All thi. All thi. All thi. All thi. All thi. All thi. All thi. All thi. All thi. All thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A thiole. A thiole. A thiole. A thiole. A thiole. A thi. A thi.35 a month. For less than two Domino's pizzas, an order of cheesy breadsticks, and those weird brownies that why are they making them? Plus tip and tax. You can get a partial tax. Go give Jason your money. Yeah, it's better than Domino's. Jas.

Most things are better than Domino's. Jason's probably not going to give you diarrhea. Most things are better than Dominus. Most things are better than Domino's. That's it, I have not had Domino's in at least 20 years. I think they got better. Their ads have led me to believe that. But they don't have that garlic butter. Does he even exist anymore? thia. thia. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th is is is is thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. once you've been Papa John, you don't stop being Papa John. You can't unsee a Papa John. No one can strip you of being Papa John.

Barton, go sign up for it. Cryptocurium.com. CRYPTO, C-U-R-I-U-M. Gar-O-M. Gar-Gar-O-M. We love you Jason. We love you Papa John. Papa Jason? Papa Johnson sounds like those weird shirts from the 90s. They were like Big Johnson's co-ed naked fire department. Yeah, yeah. No fear. That's something different. Ain't scared. Speaking of being scared.

Nice. Do you want to do another horror movie next week for a horror movie podcast? I think probably. Do you want to do... House of the Devil? Sure. I was thinking about that movie and I was like, we definitely done an episode. Hold on. Clickity, Clackety, tipid.

Oh, we've never done an episode. We should do one of the Devil. House of the Devil. It's on Amazon. You gotta rent it. I'm gonna get the SD, it's only $2.99. Yeah, of course. Has anyone ever rented the HD? I don't know.

I think I did an accident once. Did you know that DVD's never HD? Right, you gotta get a Blu-ray for that? Okay, first of all, I I I I I that, I that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi-a thi-a thi. thi-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th-a. th-s. th-s. th-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. th-s. ttta-s. tta-s. tta-s. t-s. t-s. t-s. t-s. t-s. to-s. to-s. toda-s. toda all I don't like the sound of blue ray Second of all how can a TV D not be HD but Rob told me that and I don't know if it's true It doesn't have the HD tech. What is it? What is it? I don't know magic? I want to go back to I don't like the sound of blue ray? Well, what is it? What is it? I don't like all? Like blue cantrell, when you hit him up style? Is this because people responded so well to you putting Piedy Pablo on the front of them? Do they? What did people say? That you got it stuck in their head and they were mad at you?

Ha ha, good. Good. I feel like I just make so much more work for you? You're like, God, build a Buick. Would you say it for a good Buick? So go watch House of the Devil. Come back next week. Find us on the internet, leave us a message on those places. On the internet. Yeah, or email us at Weirwolf Ambulance at Gmail.com or leave us a review on iTunes. Oh, that would

be really nice if you did them. It would be super nice. I'll read it if you do it. If they're, if it's good. I mean, or if it's bad. Don't make it bad though. And thanks for listening to another episode of Wairwolf Ambulance. Bye. Bye.