Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 181- Tusk (2014)

Episode Date: June 18, 2018

Our listener appreciation rock block continues this week with the 2014 Kevin Smith film "Tusk." This one is particularly appropriate because it's about this guy who got suuuuper rich and suuuuper famous through podcasting and-- hey, weird, us too! Special topics for your consideration include: getting schooled by Google, Mac vs. PC, a lesson in the German language from someone who does not speak the German language at all, Pete Rose deserves to be in the Hall of Fame goddamnit and Rob Zombie vs. Kevin Smith: a friend-off. Thanks to listener adamssbarry (not Adam Sbarro, sorry not sorry) for suggesting this one to us. Did you miss our other transformation films? (yes, I know this is a stretch.) Check out Episode 60- "An American Werewolf in London," Episode 103- "The Fly" and Episode 148- "The Wolf Man." Have you seen "Tusk"? How did you feel about it? Let us know your thoughts at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Twitter @werebulance or on Instagram @werewolfambulance. You can also email us for our segment "MAILBAG!" at [e-mail] and if you're feeling super generous, leave us an iTunes rating and review.  This week's episode is sponsored by the Good Evening, Kiddies! podcast, a show that reviews every episode of "Tales from the Crypt." You know you want to listen to that-- catch it at goodeveningpod.podbean.com. Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast. 

That was Johnny Depp. Are you just learning this right now? Yes! What is wrong with me? What is wrong with me? What is wrong with America? What is wrong with Canada? What is wrong with Canada? What is wrong with anybody? I seriously did not know that was Johnny Death. Oh really? I really didn't. I really didn't. I like how you had to quickly scramble and hit record as I found out this information looking at my phone.

What's the thund? What the fuck? This is our first? No, this is our second Johnny Depp movie because we did... Third. What's the third? Nightmare in Elm Street. What's the second? The one were the horses. Oh, Sleepy Hollow, yeah. The one where the horse...

The one wear the horses. Yeah, that's it. Oh shit, that's right. I forgot about those other two movies that we do with Johnny Deft. Yeah. Johnny Deft in that half football jersey? So cute. And then in Sleepy Hall, you're like, shut the fuck up. And in this, I didn't even fucking realize it was him.

He's got so many prosthetics. Yeah. His face looks like mushy's. And he's doing a weird racist like now that in looking back. I'm like, oh, he's just doing Willie his Willie Wonka, but Canadian Oh God. I make it a Putin. It's so weird. Oh my god, how fucking I gotta show this movie to Nana. She's gonna love it. No, she won't because you can't tell it's him. No, and yeah, she wouldn't like this anyway. She's just there for the eye candy. She doesn't care about the made up Johnny Depp's. I don't think, yeah, I don't think she wants a new Johnny Depp anyway. Katie.

Alan. What are we doing? I have what are we doing? We're doing a podcast. We're doing a podcast. listener appreciation times. We don't know how long it's going to last. At least for this movie and the next one. Yeah. There'll be three movies that we appreciate you guys. Yeah depending on how that goes maybe we'll keep going. Yeah thanks Adam Barry for suggesting this movie on Twitter to us. Adam Sparrow. I'm pretty sure is his name. And thanks Kevin Smith for liking that tweat. I know if you hadn't liked it we'd like wouldn't be doing that. Way to pull in the star power there, Adam.

Yeah. Kim Sizzle's like, Sparrow, love their breadsticks. We have breadsticks. Probably. I don't know. You see their Calzone's when I worked at Things Remember. I like talked. remembered career. All right. What are we doing? What's the movie? Uh, Tusk. A tusk.

From 2014, starring Mac. Oh, the Mac. Yeah. With John Hodgman as the PC? Yes. I love John Hodgeman so much. You guys know that? And and and-

And H. And H. Faking Halee toll the to. Joel Osmond. Yeah, looking just bleak. I love him. I love him too, but I feel like he's sad. Do you feel like he's sad? He's rocking that long hair and yeah, he's just doing it. He's just living his life. I like his new bearded phase that he's in now and his face has not grown any from being a child. It's just like right in the middle. Maybe that's why I think he looks sad. I don't make out his facial facial th th he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he's he's he he he he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's tog. He's tttog. He's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he tiny. And Johnny Depp. And Jonathan Depp. And Genesis Rodriguez, whom I've never heard of before.

No, but totally great. I don't understand her role in this. Just to be hot, I think. Yeah. Well, she's doing that. And Lily Rose Depp, Johnny Depp's daughter. She was one of the cashiers at the quickie stop. Was the other one, Kevin Smith's daughter?

Harley-Quinn Smith. Why, she's a lovely girl. Why name her Harley-Quinn? Who loves that Batman? Yeah, name her Michelle Fifer. Name her Michelle Fifer Smith. Name her Michelle Fifer Smith. That's a beautiful name.

Name her Tim Burton That's a fine name. Name her Tim Burton's Batman Smith. Michael Keaton is the only Batman who should ever have been. Michael Keaton, Pittsburgh Zone. Let's go Bucks. No, come on though, that's not cool. It's one of them Hollywood names. No, it's not. It's not like Pilot Inspector.

It's not Northwest. That's a real person's name. Do you know why they named him North? Because he's only going up. That's not how directions work, that's fine. North is a girl, isn't she? No, it's a dude. Northwest? Yeah, I'm pretty sure.

No, Northwest is a girl. What the fuck do I know Who is Northwest? Here are some results from the web. Kim Kardashian-Khani West Daughter, Northwest. Yeah, so Kim, that lady is only going straight up because she's North. Is that really why they... That's one of the things that that insane person said. Which of them? Which, who?

No, much. That doesn't matter. Why are we doing this? Who else is in this? Uh, I think that's all the people. The guy, no, the main guy. Oh, Michael Parks. Michael Parks, who seems like too good an actor for this. Yeah, he was in that movie Red State that Kevin Smith did, which was basically like, the the the the guy, the guy, the the the the guy, the the the guy, the the the the guy, the the guy, the guy, the guy, the the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the Phelps family, people that would protest military females? Yeah. They protest all kinds of shit that it should not be protested.

But it was basically like, what if it became Waco with the Phelps family? But John Goodman is running the FBI? It's pretty fun. Is it good? I mean, yeah, yeah. Okay. It's Kevin Smith fun. Yeah. It's also. I want to straight straight. to straight. to straight. to straight. to straight. to straight. to straight. to straight. to straight. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be th. th. th. th. to to to be to be to be th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. like, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th-st, th-st, th-st, th-st, th-st, the the th- th- th- thum, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the d, the d, the d, the d, the d, the d, the the the the the the their their their their their their their their th their th their th th th th th th th. th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the their their their their their their the No, if more yeses, we'll make the movie. That's the era we're living in. Yeah, well, how do we get money?

Well, first off, we got a starter podcast with Kevin Smith. I think he's ready. So in the premise of this movie is that these guys are famous, rich podcasters. What? Where did we go wrong? But they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they they're th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho. tho. tho. that th. th. that thi. tho tho. tho tho tho tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. the. th're apparently famous because they're dicks. I mean, I'm not being very nice. You're not being very cruel either. No, I don't want to be cruel.

No. But I'm not nice either. What's the name of their bondcast? I'm not going to say it. N-O-T-S-E-E-E-E-E. Party. The Nazi party. I just said it. It's that that joke rubbed me the wrong way big time. Not because it's just not funny. Yeah, but I think it's not clever. Isn't it supposed to be not funny or clever just to show that these dudes are like douche bags. I guess so. Yeah, I guess you're right. I like that they keep getting like when like they're calling the cops and they're like he's on a podcast. You can't. the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. the podcast. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. I. they're like. I like like like like. I like. they're like. I like like like like like like like like like. I like like. I like like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I'm like. I like. I like. I like like. I like. I like. I like like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're calling the cops and they're like, he's on a podcast, you can go to the website, it's the Nazi part, hello?

Yeah, that's true. I mean, I guess we're supposed to take away that Justin Long, Wallace, come on. How long, how far do the movie to take you to it? You were like, oh, god damn it. Pretty soon. Oh, really? Not, not. Not, not. Not, not. Not. Not. Not. Not. Not. Not. Not an unredeemable douchbag. Yeah. But his friend is also HDAO? Yeah, but he's like the kinder, gentler duchbag.

Oh, okay. Every woman's dream. Wait, what's the Wallace thing I'm supposed to be getting? And not just annoyed that I have to keep hearing the'm just getting it out. Yeah, I got it before you for once. I never get it before you. Because when they're yelling, Wallace, Wallace! I was like, it sounds like they're saying Walrus. Jesus, how did I not get that?

It's not good. So, their podcast, the Nazi party, they look at internet videos and then talk shit on the view that they've seen on the internet. Maybe that's what we should be doing. I don't have the energy for that. I mean, we watched the flossing dance last week. What else is there? Uh, Harlem Shake?

Harlem Shuffle. I still don't really know what that is. You don't have to anymore. Yeah, see it's here and gone, here and gone. I saw a kid at a baseball game, I was watching a baseball game on television, I saw a kid in the crowd dabbing. Yeah. And I was like, I think that's over. I think it is though.

It's still adorable when little kids. So Wallace, they established early on the Teddy does not fly. He does not like to travel. Yeah. Later in this movie, he will fly with no problem whatsoever. Oh my god, you're right. But, so Wallace is the one who goes out into the field to confront people face and be shitty to them. And so he's going to, there's this kill Bill kid that he's gonna go talk to is in Canada. They watch this video of this kid swinging a samurai sword around

in his garage and you're like, ha ha ha, this is funny. Then he cuts his leg off. What did you think of that? Then it look like a ham inside of his ham. It looked like a ham from from the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the comic strip by Jim Davis Garfield. Those hams always had pineapple rings on too and I appreciate that. Love a pineapple ring. Um, I mean, it's the, what is the Jedi kid, a light saber kid or whatever, but this is just like taken to the unsteened degree of like this kid was just doing a thing and now

we'll be super shitty to them even though they're already fucked up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the super shitty to them even though they're already fucked up. Yeah, lost a leg. Now keep that in your mind, audience. Because Wallace goes, I don't know what he's upset about, he's got all these likes. I mean I could lose a leg. Yeah. Don, tongue. That, is that foreshadowing? I think turn. So Wallace goes to Canada, meets the best Border Patrol guy ever.

The last line of that interaction I really actually thought was funny and laughed at, which is don't say Hitler in an airport. Oh yeah. I thought that was actually pretty funny. Who is that guy? Is he a funnyman? I think he's just some comedian that is friends with Kevin Smith. I liked him. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, he had a good beard too. Yeah.

As a beard appreciator, he had a good beard. I also like the line where Wallace accuses Canadians of being sad and he's like, no, sadness was created by Americans. Yeah, red, white and never blue, which is like on a t-shirt in the the convenience, the convenience, the convenience, the their their the convenience store later. So he finds out that the kill bill kid has killed himself because everyone has been torturing him on the internet. And he is an insufferable turt about it. Yeah, he calls the kid selfish. Yeah. Yeah.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. So he has to go find someone else to be on the podcast this week. Yeah. And where does he find that someone else? In a bar bathroom. Well, he's urinating. Yep. He pees a lot in this movie. There's a lot of urinating. Well, he's always drinking those giant like big gulps. That's true. What it was? Well, see it later. Never mind. No wheezing with chees? What's an actual good comedy? What? What's that? Dumb and dumber? thu-a. thu-a. thu-a? thu-a? thu-a? thu-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-a. thu-a. thu-a. thu-a. Thea. Thea. Thea. Thea. Thea. Theat-tum. Theat the. There's a the. There's a the. There's a thu-a-a-tum-tum-tine. There's a thu-tine. There's thu-tie. There is th. There is thi is thi. There is thi. There is thi. There is thi. There? There? There? There? There? There? Thea. Thea. Thea. Thea. Thea. Thea. Thea. Thea. the. the. the. the. theeeeease thee. theeeeeee. thee. It's the. There's th, see you later. Forget it. Is that the first time Dumb and Dumber's been referenced? Possibly. I feel like I've had to have said so you're saying there's a chance at some point. I haven't seen that movie enough. Or I've seen it once. You've got to see it more than, well, I don't know if you would think it's funny now. I think it's a little, you're a little, too suave for it now. So I see this flyer about this guy who's like,

hey, I've got really great stories and you can stay at my place for free. Yeah. And he's like, honey, I'll do that. I love stories. Sure. This guy seems like somebody really likes other people's stories. You're not Terry Gross. You're not Jesse Thorn? I don't know.

Maybe we named drop Jesse Thorne enough we'll get on Max Fun. That would be Max Fun. They're putting Goddough everything on Max Fun these days. And not us, are you kidding me? Yeah, I mean, Radio Topia, Max Fon, whoever wants to get in touch. We're out there. I love criminal, man. You listen to criminal? I listen to two episodes today.

Yeah, I wish Phoebe Judge would just narrate my whole life. She's like, Katie is opening the refrigerator again again. She's so sensitive about it though, you know? Katie is scooping a litter box. She's so chill yet, lore guy who's like, come on, buddy, come on, wake up, let's go, let's go, let's go. Yeah.

You're not Bruno Mars, or not, what's the other Mars? Bruno Mars? Who's the other Mars? Roman Mars? I don't know who that is. What if he was Bruno Mars, though? You have left my bellywink. What if he's Veronica Mars? That one I don't know. That I can talk about. All right, well, let's have on Mars podcast where I'll talk about Bruno Mars.

I know very little. We'll call it spitting Mars bars? He claims me named after Bruno's the Mars tisle. Really? Yeah. And the planet Mars Mars. the thars. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's, I th. that's, I that's, I th. th. th. that's, I th. that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I that's, I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that's. I I I that's. I I I I that's. I I I I I I I I I that's. I I I I that's. I. I. I. I. I. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that that that that that that that that that that. that. I that., our rival was Mars Area School District. Oh. That's all. Out in Moon Township? No. Butler County. So he goes to stops at a convenience store, meets Harley-Smith, and Lily Rose Deaf. A scene we see twice for no reason, really.

And then he heads up to Pippie Hill. Is that a reference to something? Not that I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then he heads up to Pippy Hill. Is that a reference to something? Not that I know of. Okay. At this one I have the note, the soundtrack is pretty good. Like it's throbbing along and like setting the mood that it's tense. Okay. Okay. Okay. And it sounds a little bit like the song Tusk by Fleetwood Mac. It's kind of got like a bun, tip, bunch, bouda, bucht, but sure, yeah, all right, okay, all right, I'll accept that. Until Tusk comes in later. So it's a big, beautiful house and we meet Howard Howe, who's wheelchair bound. But very, um, swab also. Yeah, very charismatic, very like, put together. Telling a hell of a story. Yeah, Justin Long is just touching all to to to to to to to the other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tus tus tus tus tus tus tus tus tus tus tus tus tus tus tus tus tus tus tus tus tus tus tus tus tus tus tus tus tus tus tus tus tus tus tus tus tus tus tus tus tus tus. Until tus. Until tus. Until tus. U tus. U. U. tusk. tusk. U. tusk. tusk. tusk. U. tusk. tusk us. U. tusk us tusk us tusk us tus. U. tus. tus. together. Telling a hell of a story. Yeah. He's a, and Justin Long is just touching all his stuff. Just touching all of his stuff. Don't touch other people's stuff. He touches the Walruscock. Yeah. It's weird. It's a dork. No, that's a whale's penis. It's called a dork? A whale's penis? Yeah. That's a dork. A whale's penis called? A wailk-a? It. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th I'm lying? Oh. Let's ask Google. What's a whale's penis called?

Here's a summary from fun trivia quizzes. My conclusion is that there is no special term for whale penis and particularly not dork. Oh. Oh. Well. Okay, Google! I wish Google had said, face at the end of that. I wish Google had said, Face, the end of that.

Listen, you're right about Northwest, you're wrong about dorks. So Howard Howe has a ton of sailing chockees in the house. Sailing related chockees. Chockeys. Picked him up at things remembered. And he's telling all these stories about the stories about about about about the stories the house, sailing related Chockees. Chockeys, he picked him up at things and remembered. And he's telling all these stories about knowing Hemingway. Yeah, I liked that. Flashback to Hemingway.

It was funny. But it's interesting in this scene is that he's saying a lot of things, like a lot of references to classic literature. And Justin Long is picking them up. things like a lot of references to classic literature and just so long is picking them up. So you're like oh you're educated or at least like self-educated you know what I mean you're not a total bozo but you just behave like one although not to say the educated people are bozo's but he's not just a like a dumb dumb frat boy. I don't know what I know what it's trying to tell me, yeah. And that's kind of alluded to in a flashback that happens right around here, too.

With his mega hot girlfriend being like, I like you when you weren't cool. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I guess stopping a blowjob before a climax. It just being like, yeah, you're kind of a dick, so I'm gonna be a dick to you. thi to to you. It was real weird. It just don't suck the dick at all. You know what I mean? Well, that face you just made at me was horrified. It's kind of weird because there is like between Justin Long and Mr. Howe, there is a lot of massagena being thrown back and forward. Sure, definitely. Both being really shitty about women. Yeah. But the dialogue is really good. Like Mr. Howe's speeches are really well done. And th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I to to to to to to thi. I thi. I to to thi. I thi. I'm thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. dialogue is really good. Like, Mr. Howe's speeches are really well done.

And these scenes are very long. They've gone for a really long time, which I have to assume is a choice. I think if I had to guess why that choice would be, because this premise of this movie is maybe a half hour short that they have stretched to two fucking hours. Yeah. Or it's 101 minutes total.

And I think the problem is it never, much like Justin Long, in the blowjob scene, it never climaxes. It's true even at the point where you think it should be climaxed, you're so like, okay. That's what I knew was going to happen. And so, yeah. going to happen and also like what now you know for sure so yeah so Howard tells the story about a walrus that saved his life and that's the cock bone of that wall wrist that I don't I just did the size of it yeah he's showing me I was there I saw the moving fuck he said cock measure it

these hands! This many! The whole time, Justin Long has been drinking tea. It's the best tea that he's ever had. Raving about the tea. Yeah. It's soaked in barbiturates. You like barbiturates?

I never fuck when the barbiturates. Unless codine counts. I don't know if codines are a bit of true. Should I ask Google? I got my wisdom teeth out when I was like 20, and I got Tylenol with Codeine. That's nice. That's a nice little mellow buzz. I remember like taking two and drinking a 40 and going, oh, I can never do that again.

Oh, yeah, that's not how weeks after. But they give you so many fucking Tylenolotovian. I thought you were just begging for dry sockets. Mickey's a curative. I don't know if you know this or not. Sure. It cleans you. It cleans you. the thanks. to.

Oh, in that flash. Wallace is like defending being shitty now. Yeah, because he's famous and now he has money. And he's saying- How do you get rich from podcasting? Someone fucking tell us. I have a $100,000 podcast and I was just like, what? How? How? How? I have a dollar?

Where are we got this? We're sustaining ourselves? Yes, it's true. It's true. We're self-sustaining. But we've been doing this a goddamn long time. Yeah, I won $100,000. Good, pony up $100,000 or you're not getting the next episode, you dumb-dums. Just kidding. No one will take us off. No one will take it. If we get a patron, people give us money, but I'm not comfortable asking people for money. them this. Like why do you have to have more? Because I gave you a dollar a month.

My God. If you don't think our podcasts aren't worth 25 cents a pop, like that's your Aldi quarter, you know what I mean? You lose it, you're not that mad. Aldi's still doing the quarters thing? Yeah of course they are. Oh wow, all right. How are you how I was thinking to get those cards back? You don't go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to. the to. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. their. th. th. th. th. their. their. th. th. their. their. th. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. I thi. I to. I to. I to. I to. I to. I to. I to. I thi. I thi. I get those cards back? You'll go to Aldi. No. Good snacks. That's what I hear. Yeah. I had a really bad Aldi experience.

Hold on, 21 years ago? Sure, sure, so tell me more. I just went in there and it was just boxes that they had ripped the front off of that was the shelving. Oh, they have real shelf, and the Aldi's local to us. Yeah, I mean, it's been 21 years that they've owned by Trader Joe's now, so. They are partners but not owned by this company. I'm sorry, too.

I think it's two brothers. Oh, the Aldi brothers. The Joe brothers. Tr what? Trader Jose? Why is that okay? There's a Kyle Canain bit. There's a Kyle Canain bit about that. Yeah, we should do away with Trader Joe's racism. Can we get a hashtag's turn in?

No, I'm not trying to fuck with Trader Joe's sponsorship thanks. Let's say what. Oh, they can get in on that. I will take a Trader Joe sponsorship any moment. The T takes effect, Wallace passes out, and he wakes up up. How's he wake up? Well, he wakes up out of the dream, the flashback to his girlfriend and the talk that they're having about how shit he is now. He wakes up in like an old-timey wicker wheelchair? With a blanket over his legs legs and he's all like grag rag rag. As you say that's right? Turn to do a duck. Oh.

And Howard, Howard howl? Yeah, I just call him Howard Howard. Howard is telling him about how he was bitten by a brown recluse spider and a doctor came by and took care of it but the doctor's gone now. He's doing his rounds. He's doing his rounds. What happened? Oh, real quick, there's no way that wheelchair is haunted, right? Oh, it's 100% haunted. Uh, so he just keeps saying that the doctor took his leg, everything's fine. He just needs to rest here for a while while.

Doctor took his leg, everything's fine, he just needs to rest here for a while. Yeah, his leg is amputated. He pulls the blanket off his leg and it's gone from the knee down. I hate amputee stuff. I really hate amputations as a horror movie thing. Oh really? It's really scary to me. I'm very afraid of getting something amputated. Yeah.

And this one short for gnarly. Not narnar. Short for narnar. We just double gnar. And Howard also says the doctor stepped on his phone and broke his phone. So, and then took the rest of the phones in the house so that he could rest. This is what you're just like, the fuck? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He took the rest of the phones. That's really funny. This is where I have the note says, Justin Long has a back fife and gishipped. Do you know what that means? It's the German word for a face in need of a punch.

There's so many good words in the German language that we just don't have translations for. It's true. Sheldon Freud? Yeah. Yeah. But that's literally the word that means a face in need of a punch. Why you know that? It's just one of those things, you know.

There are like a lot of articles on the internet that are like German words that we could really use a thrante. So do we just call it a Justin Long? Yes. Oh, look at that Justin Longer. Puh. Can you put the punch sound in here again? Got it. At some point I'm going to hurt my hand. Yes, you are.

Oh, my next note was the intro that I was gonna go with, which was? Alan, I have news. What's your news, Katie? I am the egg man. Goo-coo? Yeah, it's not good, is it? Oh, man. So already, like, Howard turns his back on Justin Long, he's like, yeah, I'm gonna go take care of some stuff. You just rest up and he's already laughing at him. Yeah. You can't control how excited he is. That was a bummer and I liked it. Yeah. It was weird. And then they're eating dinner?

Yeah, well in between there, I think we see the scene of his girlfriend just like crying, talking to the camera, to us. Yeah. But we're not sure who she's talking to. Yeah. And she's just like talking about an intricate, delicate web of lies while she sobs looking beautiful, I guess. I just don't understand what she's doing here. She's just a beautiful lady friend.

Fell in love with him but he was nice. Her character is so flat and stupid. Okay. Yeah. Everybody but Howard kind of is thi. Like Howard is like this big personality and everyone else is like, Justin Long's just kind of a shitty dude. Teddy is nothing. He's nothing. I was gonna say like he's just like a marshmallow. It's just like I'm just empty calories. I want you. The girlfriend is just just there to look sexy. Yeah.

She does. Yeah, great. I'm sure she could do better. Sure. I mean, she's apparently, she's an actress, has been in a bunch of stuff. Yeah, I'm sure she's fine. Hopefully she's done. And Johnny Depp is in this movie. Doing something. We'll get to that.

Wow. But she's talking about how he cheats on her all the time. Right, but she's upset because she's cheating on him. Is she fucking Teddy? Yeah. That's weird. Why? He's an asshole too. Like just go find yourself a nice dude. You know what I mean? Like you don't, these are not your only options. I'm sure your options are practically limitless. What if she could only date the person she sees directly in front of her? Yeah. I'm surprised she wasn't like bumping up on Johnny Depp because she was there. She's got all those Nazi podcast t-shirts that she's cut sexy. They're cut real sexy that would not be comfortable to sleep in and I guess she doesn't want them to go to waste. There's no way you're not choking yourself out in that one that was just like, one each size is too big for. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. One. One size. Yeah. One size. Yeah. One size. One size. Yeah. One size. One size size size size size size. Yeah. Yeah. One size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size to to to to to to to to to to to ti. to to tha size size size size size is tie size size size size size size size size size size size size. to to to to t. One size. One size. One size. One size. One size. One size. One size. One size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size size for big for big for big for big for big for big for big for big for ti for ti for ti. One size size size. One size. One size. One size. One each size. One each size is ti for... Yeah. Ah. Whatever.

Oh, Ali. Just break up with him. You break up with him and find a nice guy. It's not that hard. Or just be alone for a while. I'm saying if you need a man and get a good one. What a man. What am I a good man.

What am I a good man? Who is that? Is that info? Who's? Who is that? Is that Envogue? Yeah, Envogue and Salt and Baba. No shit. Yeah. So he comes back out of that dream and he's at a dinner table. But his arms are useless? Yeah, they gave him morphine, I guess. Does that make your arms useless? I don't think so. So he can't eat. Yeah. So he can't eat. Yeah. Then he falls asleep again, I guess. Oh no then Howard stands up and walks away. You like that? Cool. Sings the itsy-bitsy spider to him. Yeah. That was weird. Did you like that or no? As a movie. I did it was creepy. Yeah. And they did my

favorite least favorite creepy thing which was when someone starts screaming, you scream along with them a-a-buffalo Bill. That's exactly it. I like that a lot. Yeah, that weirds me out. Then we get a flashback to him talking to Teddy. Well, they're recording a podcast. And then when they finish it, they like sign off or whatever. And then one of them goes, clear. nice. thiiiii. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, then, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that, that, that, that, that, that, that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. th. that that that that that that th. that that that that that that. that. that. start doing that at the end of each podcast, okay? Perfect. And then you go, nice. Okay? I will. Let's practice. Okay.

Clear. Hello. I'm so bad at this. Noice. Then he talks about how he's just having sex with other people. Fat girls is basically what he says, which is fine. Sure, Roadhead. That seems like, I mean, like, I've seen the movie Thinner, it's bad. You shouldn't do that. Somehow I knew this was going to come back to Thinner. Yeah, because Roadhead. And milkshakes smell, milkshakes on the senior car. Hey, man, I never did get that cleaned up.

It doesn't smell or anything. It's just stiff. Is this when Howard tells him that he's going to turn him into a walrus? Yeah, I think so. Well, no, because first he hears his phone ringing. Oh, right, and he goes and leaves messages for his... Why did he let that happen? Why did Howard let that happen? Because he's just a crazy man? There's no way there's reception where he is. No, and it's also been three days, so Howard Howard. their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. He's their. He's their. He's their. He's their. He's their. He's their. their their their their their their. their. their. He's their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. He's their. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. He's. He's. He's. th. He's th. He's th. th. th. He's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the th. th. the. He's th. He's there's reception where he is. No, and it's also been three days, so Howard must have been charging his phone. Oh, that's, unless he's got one of those real long life battery phones. I guess. I don't have one of those. His cell phone ringtone is the same as his friend's cell phone ringtone too. Yeah. Which is dumb because like, what if you're hanging out? Whose phone is ringing? Is it our theme, the ring tone on your phone? No.

It's just a phone ringing. What's yours? The same thing, fun ringing. I hate when it's a thing. For a long time, my ringer was Pantara. Of course it was. It's like, it just makes you respect someone less when you're talking to them, and their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to them and their phone rings and it starts playing like Britney Spears Toxic.

Ooh, there it is. I'm sorry, I stepped all over toxic. That's what you should have. I quoted that song the other night and someone was very shocked to that I knew it. Toxic? Yeah, it's a good jam. What did you say? You said that in the dicta you, don't you know that you're toxic? You said that to Missy? She was like, what? Then I started doing the dance. Yeah, which you just did. Well, why does he not just make an emergency call? I don't know. Okay. I dial O for operator and figure it out.

Yeah, I mean your cell phones have an emergency call but you wherever you are that they work, you can make an emergency call. Yeah. This is I I I I I I I I I I I I I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. that that that that that their their their thatheatheat their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. the the the th. th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. I just just just just just just just just just just just just the. the. Yeah, you can make an emergency call. Yeah. This is one of the dumbest things about the movie. Yeah, this is where I was like, okay, we still have an hour left. He has called and left voicemails for his friends, and he has not called the authorities. Yeah. What do we even go from here? Oh, where do we go? Where do we go? Where do we go?

Now? Now, ah, ah, yeah. Wait, what are you singing? I was seeing Guns and Roses. Oh. Sweet child of mine. I think I was singing, where did you go by the mighty, mighty boss tones? Where did you go? Bam, boom, boom, boom.

Where did you? I had no idea you were a boss fan. I'm a clueless fan. That. That. That. That. That. That, that. That, that. That, that. That, that, that, that, that, that that that that that that that that that that that that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's that's that's that's, that's, that's, that's that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, the the the the the the the the thi, the. thi. the. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi,, bam, boom, boom. Where did you? I had no idea you're a Boston's fan. I'm a clueless fan. That's a song that they're playing when tie falls down the stairs, Brittany Murphy. So I can't make a hope I never lose my wallet reference and expect you to get that money, Money, money, money, boss down. No, sir, you cannot. this gets put into a walrus suit. Wait, what did you just say?

This man gets put into a walrus suit. Oh yeah. I mean... Made out of other people. I guess. Yeah, yeah, there's human faces and ears and shit all over this thing. Why is it not rot later? Okay, never mind.

Why is it still just as bloody two years later as it once? That was was was was th was tha was tha tha tha tha th. W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. W. th. W. W. W. W. W is it still just as bloody two years later as it was my question. Who charges their phone in the bathroom? That's my next question. Both of these people too. Both of these people. Why was he sleeping the wrong way in the bed when they woke up? I don't know. I don't know. This is where are things I'm just like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. th I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't th th th th bed? Who doesn't love an enormous dog photo? The next note I have says, okay, Kevin Smith, this is a little much. I don't know what that's in reference to. Is that when they show Justin Long's arms sewn to his sides?

Or when they show the full suit and it's just like a hood that covers his eyes and face? I think it's the hood. But we're supposed to believe th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th supposed th th th th th th th th th thus thus thus thus thus thus thus that that that that that that thoes thi thi thi thoomoomoomoomoomoomoomoomoomoomoes that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that'sthink it's the hood. But we're supposed to believe that this suit has been used by multiple people. I guess. But then when he finds the other spoiler alert he's a walrus now. Oh yeah a patchwork walrus of human flesh. He's like hippie pets walrus. Yeah hey jam how are you? Thanks for the stuff. Never forget. Oh I forgot to tell you that so he goes on, Howard goes on talking about being a to. to.... to.. to. to. to. to. to. to. Howard. Howard. Howard. to. Howard. Howard. Howard. Howard. to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the the they. the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the.. the.. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. ell you that so he goes on Howard goes on talking about being a dupless orphan yeah is that real it's a real thing yeah where they like it was cheaper to house people in a mental institution than in a orphanage so they just diagnosed all these kids with mental disorders and then beat the show I mean it's awful everything's awful yeah but I was like oh that's a fun thing I learned neat I didn't know that before this.

Fun and neat. You know that I don't know what the word fun means. I absolutely know that. I have the note, ha ha ha, W. T.F. The what the fuck is going on right now when he put the suit. Can't, okay so he's, okay, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I don't, that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I, that I, that I, that I, that I, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that I, how, he's inside the suit. Yes. His head is intact inside the hood. His whole body's in there.

But his, I mean, minus his legs, because we see his like. Both legs are gone now. And where are his arms? They're in the little flipper parts. That's how he can swim. Why don't they take him out of the suit later? Because he could just get prosthetic. I mean he could live a normal life. I don't. Also, well because they say that his brain is so broken that he's become a walrus. I don't think that's true. Also when we meet Johnny Depp or Guy Le Voin? Le Poin? That's not it. I think it's just La Pointe. Oh, th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the th, th, the the the the the th, th, I thi, I the the the the the the the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th. I thi, thi, thi, thi. I thr. I don't thro. I thi. I thi, thi, thi, I thi, I the, I it isn't. I think it's just La Point. Okay.

Oh, I don't know French. I don't know from French. Oh, me either. Why would I know? You know all these German words? It's just from the internet. Diallo. Say it, it's been a long time.

Perfect. Perfect. 180 episodes in. So we meet Guy Lepoint or Gila Point, as I have him listed as Johnny Durp. How did I not know that? I would like to go back and watch it, but I'm not going to. You still that 48-hour runnow? I might. Um, he's, when we meet Gila Point, he says that he's looking for corpses that have one leg.

Right. But when you get to a certain point, both legs are gone. Yeah, I know. It's like, there's just these little things in this movie that fall apart. It just seems like it could have been thought out better. Yeah. And he keeps talking about this,the Greg gum gree or whatever the hockey player Yeah Apparently Gila Void is a famous Canadian hockey player and that's because Kevin Smith loves hockey Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a lot of hockey talking this. Yeah, yeah, yeah

Did you see that the I talked to somebody on the internet via our Facebook about hockey? Someone was like you guys couldn't come up with a single hockey team, you're in Pittsburgh, and I was like, we don't fucking do hockey. They took it well. Yeah, I mean, I've multiplied, multiple times stated I don't know fuck about sports, so. I just don't do hockey because it's a comedy sport. I like baseball, because America. Oh, America. Baseball's fine.

Baseball's fine. Baseball's fine. Just gotta get a salary cap. I think baseball will be fine. Yeah, that's all I'm hoping for. Yeah, obviously. Once I get that salary cap, you are in. You're gonna watch it. You just need to make it fair. It's not fair right now.

You put Pete Rose in the Hall of Fame. I agree. Are you being being the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, that's that's that's that's that's tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. I, th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. I th. that, that, that, that, that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's tha. that's that's that's tha. thoooooooo. ta, I t agree. He bet on his team. That's what you do. Literally had a slide named after him. He should be in the... I don't love Peter Rose. Yeah. We used to have Pete Rose slide in the hallways at high school. Really? Yeah. That's good. You know who else is great these days? Jose Canseco, what a fucking nut bar he is. Highly recommend following Jose Cansecoe on Twitter. Sometimes he just talks. he he he he he he he he he he he to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the to be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their th. Yeah. Yeah. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I theat theat the. I th. I th. I, what? So Gila Point reveals that this killer is called the first wife killer, which is another little touch of misogyny in here. The first wife? Yeah, because... I don't remember that at all. Maybe I was sleeping. He doesn't fuck them. He doesn't do something else with him, and he doesn't do something else with them. So he's the first wife. So he's the first wife because your first wife doesn't do this.

Maybe it makes more sense if you have multiple wives. Maybe. Yeah. I don't have multiple wives. And then there's this flashback of the time the Gila Boynt met Howard Howe. Right, right. You think this is going to be good like the idea that he got away he got it he was right there in front of him and he got away the scene goes on for days I'm still watching it oh are you in my mind I'll always be watching it it's just Howard Howe acting like a simpleton and Gila Point being a legit simpleton yeah it's stupid it goes on for so long so long I hope it was improvised.

It had to have been. It had to have been that was not written down. Ah, man. This is where I stopped taking notes, actually. Oh, would you like me to read my next four notes? Yeah, go for it. Howard feeds Mr. Tusk and mackerel. Howard ate Mr. Tusk, the original, O.G. Mr. Tusk. Right. Howard Dunks Wallace.

Howard wants Mr. Tusk to kill him. That I didn't quite get. Never mind. Don't explain it to me. So we learned from Howard that in a that he lived on Mr. Tusk, who's the original Walrus, who's Dickbone we saw earlier. Right, he's trying to give him another chance. Yeah, and it's like, maybe this time you'll kill me. Got it. And he's been trying for years to make a new Mr. Tusk.

Yes, of course, why wouldn't he? So then, let's just get to to to to get to get to get to get to get the w to get to get the w to get to get to get the w to get the w to get the wa, to to to the wa, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be. to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, the the the the the the th. the th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. to, just get to the walrus fight. Howard puts on a walrus suit? If you already had it, you know? Oh, Howard dunks or makes forces Justin Long's walrus, Mr. Tusk to tus to try and swim. And he's sinking, and as he's sinking, he's seeing multiple other walrus corpses under the water chained up. But who's, how many, but, but I guess, I don't they they they they they don't they don't they don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't they don't they don't they water chained up. But who's, how many, but,

I guess I don't understand the suits. I don't understand what's happening inside the suit. No, no. Why doesn't he reuse the suit? I think he does, some of it. But they're down there. Because there's all this thing about like, he's throwing away the old bodies and they're finding the corpses of one leg even though he took off just some legs both legs. I'm exhausted. Yeah yeah I think that they

got to a point where they're like I think we've thought about this enough let's make the movie. Yeah that's fine. We wrote it didn't we? I guess. So Howard and Mr. Tusk have their fight with Howard wearing the suit to also be a walrus and it's the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. I's. I's. they. they. they. I'm they. I'm. I'm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. th. I'm. th. th. I'm. I'm. th. I'm. th. I'm. th. I'm. th. I th. I th. I'm. I thir fight with Howard wearing the suit to also be a Walrus and it's the silliest thing. It's and this absurd song is playing a top volume. Isn't that when Tusk is playing? Is it Tusc? Is it Tusc? I don't like Fleetwood Mac? I got to tell you me. What about Lanslide? No I hate landslide song. The only song I kind of like is Everywhere and it's not a good song Yeah, I don't like it. It's a bad song and I think that's a bad opinion of you to like it I don't like with Flewood Mac for a minute. I thought I was starting to like Flewood Mac and then I realized I was just getting old. It't that I liked Fleetwood Mac. I'm sorry. You know I like classic rock so it's not it's not a... No this is this is not an uncommon opinion that people do not

like Fleetwood Mac song? Yeah it's Tusk. It's the song Tusk yeah it's the titular song. It's the titular song Fleeward Mc-Tocke is reminding that thatatically correct on Twitter, asked us who or what CCR is? So I got to educate them about CCR today and I was very excited. What? Are they? What? I think they're babies. That's cute. I guess I just thought people were born knowing about CZR. I don't think people had all, everybody had the same life that we just... I mean, CZR was everywhere when I was a kid. Plus I watched a lot of Vietnam movies. That's... Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

You know Proud Mary. I feel like they would know those songs to hear them though. Yeah, you know this, this, this, you know, yeah, down on the corn, yeah, you know these songs, fortunate son. You know Proud Mary. Yeah, everybody knows Proud Mary. And the far superior version. I used to occasionally karaoke, proud Mary. Oh, yeah. Any what was the far superior version? Oh, the tuna tu. Oh, right, right. She's fucking destroys that song. It's some. It's th. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so. the. th. th. the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. Yeah. they's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. the. Yeah. the. the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. kill you. Oh, by the way, Jessalon has tusks that are made out of his tibia bones. Yeah, and by the way, they're like, the investigators are closing in. I mean, whatever.

They're getting to the house. They've gone and there's a flashback where they're like, oh yeah, mustache. And then there's a long flashback where they show like how he was a total dick to them. And it's the same scene we already saw, except they've thrown in a de grossy reference and like, I don't know, whatever. It was so weird. It definitely felt like patting. Yeah.

When this movie didn't him to death. Yeah. And then we cut to one year later? Well, he comes in, Johnny Depp apparently, comes in and aims a shotgun at him. Oh, that's right. Kind of a long scene. Yeah. And then it cuts to a year later. Okay. He's in like a weird animal. For your sanctuary? Yeah. But he's in his a weird animal... For the earth? Yeah. But he's in his own little offense scenario. With a pool and a beach ball.

Yeah, and an ink-loo. Why didn't they just take him out? Wait, did they really say that his brain was so far gone? He was a walrush. I think that was the implication. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he'd, he'd they'd they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they removed his tongue. No, no. I feel like, I just feel like, I'm not, I'm not try and argue with the premise of this

movie, but I feel like no doctor would say, that's fine, let him live in an animal sanctuary. No, they would take him out of the fucking suit. As a person, though, not inside this infection waiting to happen. It's just dead meat on top of the... I mean, yeah, he's gonna rot. Unless he had that, Igloo's actually in a refrigerator, in which case, he's just freshening up every night, but it's still gonna go bad. I don't get it. But then he cries, he's not fully an animal, I guess, or whatever. We've seen a scene where Ali has explained that her dad told her, because Wallace was

like, I don't like to cry, I'm not, you know, crying's for kids. And then Ali's like, my dad told me that, you know, or my grandfather told me that crying, that crying, like, that's crying, like, thr all the time, crying right now. And so at the very end, Wallace cries, and we're like, oh, he still has a soul. But he's making this horrible wall or a sound. I mean, underappreciated, huh? That's where I have the note. This is without a doubt, the dumbest movie we've ever done.

Man, is it? What's dumber? I'm not saying it's the worst movie. Zombie versus Dumber. Eh! Man gets put into a walrus suit in this movie. And you don't even understand how. Yeah, I was comparing this movie to human centipede in my head. Yeah, have you ever watched that film? I have. As have I. I've seen the first and second one. It at least sort of makes sense. It's sort of makes sense and I feel like that movie is like, it's sort of that thing of like, you knew you were going to watch a movie about a mouth get sewn to an asshole. And you push play. You push play and you settled back presumably with a snack. you. This was on you. Right. And like. the their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's, that m. It's, that m. It's, that m. It, that m. It, that m. It, th. It, th. It, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. th. the the the. the the the the the the the the the the. the the the. the. the. the. I the.. And like, I didn't get that from this movie.

Although, to be fair, the cover is a person with Tusks. Yeah, it sort of reminded me of the Alacarta cover with the deep red and the black and the upside down. I think this isn't our Alacarta episode. I bet it's funny. It's like number four. I loved it. I lost my mind about how much I loved it. That is not true at all. So there's post post credit shit that happens in this movie. No. Over the credits they play the podcast part where they're talking about doing this movie and laughing hysterically to each other.

Is it funny at least? I'm sure it was in the moment. It had to be there kind of thing. Yeah. And earlier earlier earlier earlier earlier earlier earlier earlier earlier earlier earlier earlier earlier earlier earlier earlier earlier earlier earlier earlier earlier earlier earlier earlier earlier earlier earlier earlier earlier earlier earlier earlier earlier. the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. I. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the to. the the to. the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. It had to be there kind of thing. Yeah. And earlier in the film, when we're the real long-extended Gila Point scene takes place in some Gimli-Sliders place where he's eating sliders, mashing hamburgers down with his fists. Yeah, I liked that. The last thing in the movie is a post-credit sequence of Gila Point like, laying on thethe or sitting on the ground holding his stomach going Why did I have a second slider? That's the post credit sequence that's the post credit sequence.

It's like when they do a blooper reel in movies and you're like, I didn't need to see this. Accepted cannibal run to where the blooper real is better than the movie. Really? Yeah, yeah fight me. the the thing you yell at the internet. Really? Really. Really. Really. Really. Really. Really. I I I I I I I I I I th. Really. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the threat. threat. the the threat. the theup. the theup. the the the the the the the the the moment. Okay, I don't want to. Not you. Don't at me. Fight me is the thing you yell at the internet, right? I think fight me and don't at me. So that is Tusk. It is. You like Kevin Smith. I feel like right there you need to plug in that, Boop, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Do I like Kevin Smith, I love clerks. I think Kevin Smith needs a buddy to be like, no, no, no, no, no, dog. Don't do that for that long. Yeah. I liked Mall Rats. Dogma, I found. I thought it was okay. Yeah, it was not a fan.

It was too long. It just kept going and going. Mall rats is genuinely funny. Oh yeah. I like to say the line a schooner is a sailboat. And I often like to say, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would like, would, would like, would like, would like, would like, would like, would like, like, like, like, like to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to, to to to to to that, that, that, that, th.... th. that, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th say, would you like to making fuck? Bursar, it's so good. I mean, those are classics of our younger days. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, for sure. And he seems like a good, a good, a good-hearted person, yeah. But boy, oh boy, were we not in on the joke? Yeah, I think so. And Justin Long is a good actor. were we not in on the joke for this one? Right? Is that it? We just weren't in on the joke. Yeah, I think so. And Justin Long is a good actor. He's fine.

Everybody in this is fine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I even think, I will even go, Michael Park, beyond fine. Oh, no. I felt like he was really good. I like a Halejo Wassman. I like him every time he shows up in something. He's in, um... I have seen him in a two things. What is the name of it?

Silicon Valley. He's like in a season of Silicon Valley. He's fucking great. What's that? Should I watch that? Eh, okay. Okay. I like Came. on Johnny. Did you watch Freaks and Geeks? Of course. The guy with the glasses. Martin. Yes, he is in that and he plays this like Coder dude who is also a Satanist and he's fucking hilarious.

Great. I do like him a lot. I liked him a lot on Burning Love as well. Yeah. There are some there are some characters that are fucking awful in that show. Yeah, give it a shot. Yeah. Give it a shot. Is it on HBO? I don't the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. There. There. There. There. There. There. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. There's. There's. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There is. There is. There is. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. on HBO it is then I can't watch I can give you the I don't want it I don't want to steal it I don't want to steal from little companies like HBO do yeah I mean I'm fine I'm try. I'm fine with Kevin Smith I'm not you know I kind of felt like he's kind of rob zombie in a way like he's fine he's a gentle he's a gentle he he he he's a he's a he's a he's a he's a he's a he's a he's a he's a he's a he's a he's a he's a he's a he's a he's a he's a he's a he's a he's a he he's a he's a he he's a he he's a he's a he he's a he he's a he he's he's he's he's a he he's a he he's a he he's a he he's a he he's a he he's a he he's a he he's a he he's a he he's a he he's a he he's a he he's a he he's a he he's a he he's a he he's a he he's a he he's a he he's a he he's a he he's a he he's a he he's a he's a th he's a th th th th th th th th th th the th the th the th the the the he's a th he's a he he's a he you had to spend if you had to spend an evening with one of them who do you spend? Oh Rob Zombie. Really? I'm taking Kevin Smith. Yeah. Because Rob Zombie is gonna make you go down in the basement and like his basement. They're both gonna make you go into their basements and look at shit. Rob zombies you're like, one of them's gonna get to get high. One of them's gonna get to get them's gonna get them's gonna get the the to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get their. One's. One's gonna to get to get to get their. One. One. One of their. One's. One's. One's. One's. I'm. I'm. I's. I I'm. I I'm. I'm. I I I I I I'm. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I. I I. I I I I I. I I I. I I. I I I. I I. I I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm g. I'm g. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm tak. I'm tak. I'm tak. I'm tak. I'm tak. I'm tak. I'm tak. I'm t. I'm t. I going to give you, I think Rob Zombe is like, oh, I'm going to go get high. And Kevin Smith's like, check out this bud. We're going to smoke it out of this hockey stick bong.

I've got a 10-foot bonk. You have to go to the top of the steps at light. Yeah, see, and I fuzball table. Yeah, I hate fooosball though. Air hockey? No, I don't like that either. I just hate fun is generally where I met. So do you want to rate this thing? I guess, you go first. I'm going to give it a six. Whoa!

Higher than I thought. I had a good. I am beyond amazed that this movie got made. I agree. This feels like deathbed, the bed that eats people, level of like how the fuck did this movie get made. And it lost money big time. Did it? Yeah, it was a financial flop, I think.

Who wants to go see a movie about Justin Long becoming a Walrus? I mean, not that many people, I guess. Yeah, I'm with you. I was enjoying watching this movie, but like halfway through each scene I would start to zone out. Because there was on and on, like some of the stuff you described like his arms being sewn down or whatever. I didn't see, because it was just going on and on. Were you having a second screen experience at that one? Might have just been Twitter. It just been Twitter. It just, it just, it just, it, it's, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it just, it just, it just, it's, it's, it's, it just, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's th, it's, it's the the the the the th you, it, it, it, it, it's th you, it, it's th you, it, it, it's th you, it, it, it's th you, it, it's th, it's th, it's, it's, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's the the the the th, it's the the the th, it's th, it's the th, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi, it's that point? It might have been Twitter. Might have just been Twitter.

It just, it just, the premise is funny, I guess. And grotesque, which is a good combination. It's like a little blob of peanut butter that you tried to spread across the entire piece of toast. Yeah, and you're starting to rip that bread. You're ripping the bread. Um, five and a half. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Could have been seen way worse. Oh yeah. Yeah. And I think that's what I mean by being like it being the dumbest movie we've had ever done. It's not the worst. No. Like. The competent acting and the like

gross stuff saved it. He's a fine director too. Like all the shots looked good. Like there were some really interesting stuff that he did. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, yeah, like, like, like, like, yeah, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, a fine director too, like all the shots looked good, like there were some really interesting stuff that he did, and I thought the Walrusuit looked fine. Yeah. It was like an all over leather face wall suit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the flippers were fingers. That was good. I just also wish there had a female character who had any level of depth. Female I. Dorks. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm th th th th th th th th th th th, I th, I th, I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho, I tho, I tho, I tho thoo thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo you don't have a dick. Hmm, things don't have ticks.

Walleye. Dorks. Dorks. Can't believe I was wrong about that all these years. I can't believe Google was shitty about telling you you're wrong. Google's like, hey, asshole? You know what you can't go wrong, Katie. Where? With this week's sponsor, the Good Evening Kitty's Podcast. Let's let her tell us about it.

Go. Hey, you. Do you like the Tales from the Crips series? Do you like spooky things in general? Then check out the Good Evening Kitty's Podcast. That's Good Evening Kitty's Podcast. G-O-O-D-E-E-E, E, E, N, N, N, N, N, N, N, N, N, N, N, N, N, N, N, N, N, N, N, N, N, N, N, N, N, the-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-I-I-I-K, the-K, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to-K, to-K, to-K, to-K, to-K, to-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-K-I-K-I-K, to-K, to-K,. G-O-O-D-E-V-E-N-G K-I-D-I-S podcast. Each week I'll review a new episode from the TV series, The Tales from the Crypt. Find me on Podbe, Podbein, or iTunes.

That's the Good Evening Kitties Podcast. Check it out today. Go check out the Good Even Evening Kitties Podcast if you want to hear the to hear the the to hear the the to hear the the the to hear the the the the to hear the the the the to hear the the the the to hear the the the the podcast. Check it out today. Go check out the Good Evening Kitty's podcast if you want to hear all about Tales from the Crypt. And you do. You know you do. What are we doing? What are we doing next week? to you, the ta'n'lip. Well, before we go to next week, can I give you something from a mailback? Oh, I'm sorry. We've an order and I'm just just, thak, th. I thought it was a segue and then I realized I just don't, it's like I should be fired from this $100,000 podcast. Mailbag is one of those things that we've in and out of the fabric of our podcast.

And it's not that we don't have messages, it's that we don't make $100,000. Katie. Alan. Do you think it was $100,000 Canadian dollars? No, they were Americans, never mind. I'm just trying to make sense of tusk. Can I read you a couple iTunes reviews that we've gotten recently? I would love that. The first one is from black underscore macabre. I don't know why, but I really thought it was gonna be black velvet.

If you please. That song's got such a good little baseline. Okay, I'm done. Greatness. Five-star review. Yeah. Love the name. Love the banter.

Love the movies. Good stuff. Thank youthe banter. Yeah. Love the movies. Good stuff. Good stuff. Thank you. Thanks are not also jabbing at us in there when you've had the opportunity. Thank you. Who?

Black velvet. Black underscore macabre. Thank you so much. And this one is a series of symbols that my phone does not recognize. I think this are called emoges. What's now? It's just the poop emoji. It's a, it's this one's from Howie the Cat.

Five stars. The greatest podcast ever. That's simply not true. Perhaps they think they're on stuff you should know. If you love horror movies, but also enjoy hate watching horror movies, look no further. Funny, nonsensical, and surprisingly informative. Ah, surprisingly informative is a phrase that really gets me.

Overall, just a really good time. Oh, that's sweet. Thank you, Howie. Those are really nice reviews. Yeah. Surprisingly informative. One, I feel is untrue. And two, is very funny. It's very funny for us. That we would be informed. We've taught people about CCR. You taught people about CCR. We've taught people a lot of things about a lot of things.

I just don't think it's things they need or want to know. It doesn't mean it's not information. It's true. Information is true. Information is information regardless of whether you've sought it out or not. Okay, now can I ask? Please. What are we doing next week? Katie. Alan? Kady?

Alan. Yeah. We're going to do another fan appreciation. You guys, we appreciate your appreciation. You appreciate our appreciation? I feel like you're pushing them when you're saying, you appreciate it enough? But also hugging them, just hugging those so close. This is from Neil double you, get it, on Instagram. Hi Neil's request that way we do,

Final Girls. Excellent. Another horror comedy. People like to's requested that we do, Final Girls. Excellent. Another horror comedy. People like to hear us talk about horror comedies. They're funny. Yeah, we're funny. Yeah, we're funny. And that's, eh.

Combo move. Come on. Yoga Flame. Get over here. I think we're just covering all the movie called Final Girl and then there's a movie called Final Girls. Yes. We're doing the one with with Malin Ackerman and the girl from American Horror Story and the other girl. And Adam Driver from Workaholics? No, Adam Driver's Kylo Run. Yeah, that's right. Rylo Kylie. That's Jenny Lewis. And Ryder? No, that's not right. This is a fun game right now.

Yeah, we're just free associating minor celebs. Just kidding. The guy from Workaholics is in this weekend. I don't like that guy. Okay. I'm looking forward to talking about that. What is his name? Adam something.

Adam Sparrow who brought this episode. So Neil W. Get stoked, get ready. Can we call Neil Wu? I like, just people have names and I'm like, I will not, no, I will not address you by that. Because that's rude, you know? Isn't that right, Neil Wu? Wait, which part of it is rude? You not addressing that more? They're like, my name is X and I'm like, no, it's bleh.

Your name is Buh. Buh, bl bl bl bl blee, I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, th, th, th, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this is, this, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this, this is, this, this, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. I, th. I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. I thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi Your name is Bud. I will call you Princess. Are you appreciated? So, send us more recommendations. We'll do your movie. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. We get tired of doing this.

Let's ride this wave as long as we can. Hey man, it takes it out of our hands. It's true. I like as long as we can. Hey man, it takes it out of our hands. It's true. I like the less work we can do. So we can put it into doing more awesome stuff for these people. Yeah. All right, well. Get out of us on Facebook.

Instagram Twitter. Uh, where will the ambulance at Giena. Itoon's reviews are always welcome. Love them to death. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And th. And th. And th. th. And th. th. th. And th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's.. I's....................................................................................................................... always welcome. Love them. Love them to death. And thank you for listening to another episode of Wearwith Ambulance. Clear. You really did forget. What did he say? Bye.

No. Give us $100,000. Oh