Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 208- Better Watch Out (2017)

Episode Date: December 24, 2018

In our FIFTH annual holiday episode, we're tacking the 2017 Christmas-adjacent horror film "Better Watch Out." You can watch this one on Netflix and if you're at all thinking about it, watch it before you listen to this episode. Special topics for your consideration include: being sold a comedy bill of goods on a movie, the best way to greet one's family at the holidays, hot takes on sweaters, lessons in German from a person who does not speak any German and the "Die Hard" debate settled once and for all.  Check out our other holiday episodes- 2014: Episode 9- "Silent Night, Deadly Night" 2015: Episode 61- "Krampus" 2016: Episode 113- "Black Christmas" (Bonus: Episode 114- "Gremlins"!) 2017- Episode 156- Gingerdead Man Have you seen this one? What did you think? Let us know your thoughts at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Twitter @werebulance or on Instagram @werewolfambulance. You can also email us for our segment "MAILBAG!" at [e-mail] and if you're feeling super generous, leave us an iTunes rating and review. Happy holidays, pals. As always, we love you.  Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast. 

Go ahead. See you're like to be up. Happy holidays. Go ahead and yell at me. So, go ahead and yell at me is like the best holiday greeting there is, like, opening the door to your family's home and saying, go ahead, yell at me. Go ahead, do it. Go ahead.

to go ahead. It's that and you follow it with, do it. It's that and you follow it with. the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. Do you. the. the. Do. the. the. Do. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to you. to you. the best. the, to you is, to you is, to you is, the best. the best. to you is, the best. to you is, the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the. the the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the. the the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. to. the. the. the. the. the the the like opening the door to your family's home and saying, go ahead, yell at me, go ahead, do it, go ahead. It's that and you follow it up with do you want something to cry about? I'll give you something to cry about. Fuck, yeah. Happy holidays. Chick, chick, chick, chick, chick, t-ch-ch. Din, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. Because it's lovely weather, the weather, the weather, the weather, the weather, the weather, the weather, the weather, the weather, the weather, watching a terrible movie. The trailer made it sound like it was gonna be fun. The trailer fucking lied. And then we cried.

Boo hoo hoo hoo. You said this was a comedy. That was a big lie. Okay, what the fuck. Has anybody seen this movie? Katie, I'm gonna get into an early mail bag to answer that question. Okay, I'd love to. I'd love to you get into that. Happy holidays.

Oh, I don't know if you're interested in this or not. In honor of this being a Christmas toll. It's a Christmas beer,'s Delirium Noel. I don't know what that is. It's a Christmas beer in the style of a Belgian ale Christmas ale. It is the size of a bottle of vodka? It's like a fifth of ale? Well this is our 208th episode which in the counting of our podcast is our fourth year anniversary episode. It's not like the day that it dropped but it's's the four-year-old. Right, because I took the maternity leave. Someone had to have that baby and it wasn't going to be you. I try it.

You dick? I didn't do that on purpose. Happy holidays. Happy holidays. That genuinely frightened me. I can tell you called me. I'm sorry. I, I, I, sorry, I didn't mean it. It's just an impulse. It's like a, it was really funny. It popped and you went you did.

What's it called when they hit your knee at the doctor? Reflex? See, I have this thing with words, like, doing a podcast. On and on. Thank you for doing this podcast. So this is season four finale. Exactly. So next week is season five.

Oh, God, we are doing a terrible job of what we're doing with season four and season five. It will not be a cliffhanger. Oh, it today. thin. It's good. Thank you. Cheers.

Oh, I love these glasses, too. You guys can't see them because this is a radio. I figured it was 10% alcohol, so I would start with small glasses. I drove here. I know, that's why I was in small lessons. On Instagram, Bourbon underscore and underscore blood got in toucet to say, Just watched Better Watch Out movie, because it's the next werewolf ambulets episode. I haven't felt that uneasy and angry at a movie in a very long time. Does that make a great horror movie then?

It's been a long time since I felt that gut anger towards a villain. Clever twist going into it, knowing nothing. Uh, hashtag horror geek. Hashtag Christmas horror, hashtag so angry. I agree with everything that Bourbon and Blood said. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. I don't think we need to do the episode.

Damn, dog. I know. What the fuck? So in the trailer, it says horror, comedy, thriller. And I was like, I love all those things. I like to laugh, I like torilled. I love to be thrilled. Yeah. There were no jokes. I mean they're like... There's some shitty homophobic jokes. Okay. Virginia Madsen like... Oh the sucking cock thing, yeah. Also Virginia Madsen. Also putty. Fucking putty. I think of them as

the tick but I appreciate that you think of them as funny. All signs point to yes. That is a signfelt. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You. You. You. You. I. I. I. I the the the the the the the there. I there. I there. I there. I there. I there. I there. I there. I there. I there. I there. I there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's. There's there's. There's. There's. There's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there. I there. I there's there. I there. I there's there's there's there's there's the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi the the the the thi. There's some the the the the the the there's think him is funny. All signs point to yes. That is Seinfeld? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got a question. You ask the eight ball. I'm pointing at my back. Alan doesn't get it because he doesn't like Seinfeldon. So yeah, Virginia Madsen,

like not dressed inappropriate to teach children. Kind of a bummer. Not being candy manned. No. This is our third or fourth Virginia Madsen, which is a lot of a lot of genie Mads They were those they were woefully underutilized Finley like criminally criminal. I thought I got so excited when I saw them and then they were gone. Yeah. I came back at the end to just be like Patrick Warburton being like a creep to the babysitter. Yeah, and then Virginia Madsen is just like mrs. th coach coach coach coach coach coach coach coach coach coach coach their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they're their their their they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're. I's they're. I they's. I they's. I they's. I they's. I they's. I they's. I they's. I they's. I they's. I they's. I they're. I they're. I they're. I's. I's. I's. I's. I they're. I they're. I they're. I they're. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I they're they're. I they're. I'm. I'm. I they're. I'm. I'm. I they the babysitter. Yeah. And then Virginia Madsen is just like, Mrs. Coach's wife walked around with a giant glass of white wine. Yeah. Comedically large glass of white wine.

Ah. Did you know that the woman who plays Ashley, Olivia DeJean, is Australian? No, she hides it well. Yeah, I've commended them for never giving her a no to yell. Yeah, noy. Noy. What was that? Was that the Tooth Fairy movie?

It was. It was. No, it was. No, that was a better movie than the, well, no. Let me take it back. Oh, man. The thing about this movie is that it's reprehensible. Yeah. I don't know that it's bad, but it is not what I thought I was getting.

I sold a bill of goods. I resold that. I was like the eBay of that Bill of Goods. I was like, oh, I bought that. No, I'm going to put that back out. So I guess we should tell people about this movie? Oh sure. This is movie's called Better Watch Out. It's from 2017. It is our Christmas episode. Happy Holidays.

Boop. Boop. Boom, the twist. It's from 2017, so I figure like this episode specifically, spoiler alert. You probably haven't seen this movie. Yeah. I mean, the twisty. It is. And I was a shocked. Were you?

Yes. OK. Were you not? I knew something was a foot. But yeah, yeah, I was like, oh, OK. This is the movie now. Yeah. Yeah.

It's like a quarter way through the movie. Yeah. Yeah. But I didn't see it coming. Yeah. I thought it was going to be, I thought Patrick Warburton was involved in it. Because he was so creepy, yeah that had to have been intentional to make you think that he was doing it, but really he was just like wearing a dumb tie

at a party. Yeah, yeah. And trying to hit on a 16-year-old. Like a creep, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, she's just trying to move to Pittsburgh, to Pitsits-Ipips. She's to Pitts. She's their th. She's th. She's th. She's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. there one in California that's also Pittsburgh? No H? Get your No H's out of here. Get the fuck out of here with those. But we're the only H, right? Yeah, we used to be a No H until the 1800s, and then they added the H. Pittsburgh moment. I'm Rixie back. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I saw him at the Edgewood Giant Eagle taking a whole fucking card of groceries through the Express self-checkout and I was like, look, I know you're a legend, I know everyone loves you and I love you too, but like, that's kind of dick. Remember when we saw him at Fages Derrymarn who just like peeled into the party plot? Like throw a line of people, I was like, I'm everybody's best friend and you can do whatever you want and no one ever thinks you're a jerk. Everyone thinks I'm a jerk everywhere I go, you know? I can't wait until it's just Rick C-back standing at the point holding a human head. These are jokes that are only funny to our local listeners. The funny thing is that aren't attached anymore. Oh Rick C-back. Good guy, good guy. Just seemingly, yeah. I mean no one has, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's just, I, it's just, I, it's just, I that, I that's just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just that's just that's just that's just that's just that's just that's just that's just that's just that's just that's just that's just that's just that's just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just, I's just, I's just, I's that's that's that's that's that's that's just, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I that's just, I that's just, I, I, I, I that's just, I, I that's just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm that's just, I'm that's just, I'm that's just, I'm that's just, I'm that's just, I'm that's just, I'm that's just, I'm that's just justthere anymore. Oh, Rick Seaback. Good guy. Good guy.

Seemingly, yeah. Nice. I mean, no one has, literally the meanest thing I can say about him is that he goes through the Edge with Giant Eagle self-checkout, express line with a croak cart full of groceries in an off-peak time. That just kind of makes him a hero. Yeah. Oh man. I bet he would hate this movie. I'm sure. Can we have him on as a guest? I bet we could. He's like knows people we know. Sure. He's friends with people were friends with. Yeah. Yeah. We could do one of the Pittsburgh horror, like one of the

George Romero movies and have him on to talk about Pittsburgh. Oh my guy. Can you imagine Rick Seaback's dulcet tones on this podcast mixed with, like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I'm the, I'm a the, I'm a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the movie the movie the movie, I the movie. I the movie, I the movie, I the movie, I the movie, I the movie the movie the movie, I the movie the movie, I the movie the movie, I the movie, I the movie, I the movie, I the movie, like the movie, like the movie, like the movie, like their their their their their their their thi thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm their their their their their their their their their the George Romero movies and have him want to talk about Pittsburgh. Oh my god can you imagine Rick Seaback's dulcet tones on this podcast mixed with like you're giggling and my shrieking? I wanted to tell you that I heard or in my mind I culminated the most Pittsburgh thing I could hear in my life. The Kogos on the south side was robbed. Oh was it? That used to be my home cogos? Oh, the the the the th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, the the th. Oh, the the the the the th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, the th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, the th. Oh, the the the the the th. Oh, the thi. Oh, the to. Oh, the to. Oh, the the to. Oh, the thi. Oh, the thi. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. What was it? That used to be my home cogos, when I lived over there. And I just pictured someone seeing that headline and going, oh no, cogos. Hey, nay, kagas. That's my home kogas.

Oh man. And that's the end of Pittsburgh talk. Yeah, probably. So they're moving, um, Ashley is moving to Pittsburgh with her family. Mm-hmm. And so this is her last babysitting sesh with, uh, Shit boy. Shit boy?

Fuck face. Uh, his name is Luke. Lucas. And the movie is set up that he is in love with his babysitter. Yeah. And it seems like he's a harmless little whiny kid, I guess. Who gets a babysitter even though he's 12? Yeah. That's nuts. Getting a babysitter for your 12 year old. Yeah. I was watching other people's children at the age of 12, you know?

Yeah, yeah. I was sneaking out into the woods to smoke cigarettes then. That's why you were a terrible babysitter. thia thia thia thia thatatatatting. th. thatting. thatting. thatting. thatting. thatting. thatting. thatting. Yeah. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I th. Yeah. I's, th. Yeah. I's, th. I's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. th. I th. I was th. I was th. th. you were a terrible babysitter. So at this point I'm like, oh, I'm gonna get the babysitter again. Right, which, so I'm excited. It was fun. That was a fun movie. Did we like that? I believe we did. I have a memory of liking that movie. Emily, where are you?

Did you just keep her, like, . Did you see that she sent us, I think it was an Instagram comment, and listed all the movies that we've both given tens to, because we questioned whether or not we tend. There was like six or seven of them. We're like, did we ever done it? Probably not. And then, okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Oh, happy holidays. Yeah. So we are to understand that Lucas has like some sad boy problems of like sleepwalking and things like that and the Virginia Madsen is like just put this pencil on his doorknob so you'll know if he's out walking around. Bitch you're watching him you should know if he's up walking around. You shouldn't see a pencil on the floor like you should know, you'll know if he's to know if he's to the floor like you should the the th you th th th th th th th to th th to th. th. you to to to to to to to the to to to the to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the the the to to to the to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. I I the. the. the. the. the. thean. thean. the. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. the. I I guess, was it to like, so like, the pencil falls, he know he's been in and out of the room? I don't know, but like, listen for the door opening

because you're there watching him. Yeah. Ugh. I don't know. So, as soon as the parents leave, he cracks open a bottle of champagne. I was like, God, I wish I had a bottle of champagne. th It was like an advertisement for champagne. It looks so good. And he's just chugging it. Yeah. He's a slight, a slight child, but does not seem to get drunk.

He also, and I don't want to say this about a child. He's real punchable looking. Oh, he has a backfifin' gishk. The German word for a face in need of a punch. Yeah. It's something about his like nose-mouth area. It's just begging to like bury your fist in it, you know? It's a child. It's a child. Although, I mean, judging by a lot of these movies, he's a child, he's probably like 33 years old.

Yeah. If Carrie is any judge. It's true. I got a mortgage. You know what though? He has that preteen boy voice, which I thought was like very effective in this movie that he has that like pubescent sort of like like screechy Peter Brady thing going on. Yeah, which I liked. I thought all the kids were good. Yeah, I thought the acting was good. I thought. I thought Ashley when she shows up I was like oh she's like a bunco Kristen Bell. She is a bun. thi. th. She's like. She's like. She's like. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's like, the th. I's like, th. I's like, th. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. Yeah, that. Yeah, that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I've. I've. I'm. I've. I've. I've. th. I've. th. I've. th. I've. I've. I've You're right. It's that nose. And then she, just cute as a button. Cute as a button. And then she's like... I like to have a cute little button nose. Oh, I got a nose. My nose obscures my fission sometimes from reading. My cheeks do that. I got chubby little Santa cheeks. We have ugly faces. We have faces for podcasting. I think we're both beautiful. Yeah. Look at our faces. Look at them. I. I. I. I. I I I I I I I I I the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I can th. I can th. I can th. I can th. I can th. I can th. I can th. I can th. I can th. I can th. I can to th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I just like th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th th. I th th th th. C th th. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. thee. C. thi thi the. the. C. C. the. C. I the. I think we're both beautiful. Yeah. Look at

our faces. Look at them. I can only see yours. I can't see my cheeks. No. I can't see your cheeks. It's super weird. What the fuck? Um. So yeah, so he's like subtly hitting on her and then not so subtly. Yeah. Getting gropey, getting handsy. Yeah, and she's just shutting it down. And we understand that she has a boyfriend, Ricky. Uh, Ricky. F. F. the fucking Ricky.

I liked Ricky. Riky also seemed way too old for her. Ricky was an adult. Yeah, yeah, an adult for sure. that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, adult for sure. So was Jeremy though. I loved Jeremy. Bunko, Zach Efron. He might have been the only funny part of this movie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, and there's the friend, too, who disappears early on in the movie, Garrett. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The family has a landline in 2017, which I found to be not quite believable except for the house that you're in currently. Yeah you guys are weird though. It's just my partner like wanting to have all over bases covered if the shit hits the fan. What shit could hit the fan that you would need a landline? You know like if like the cell phone towers go down and we need a landline. I thought your power will be out and your landline won't work, right? Dog, I don't know.

I'm just saying. Hey, dog, I heard you like land lines? So I put some line in your land. Ten percent alcohol this beer, huh? It makes exhibit show up. I guess the male's wrangling. The kids really loved it when we got drunk last time. Did they? Yeah, they did they did they did they did they did they did they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they time. Did they? Yeah, they did.

We got a lot of comments about how funny that episode was. I literally threw up the next day. For you. She threw up for you people. For you, for your, I died for your sins. No, that's Easter, not Christmas. I'm so sorry. I puked for your sins. I puked for your sins. This fucking movie though, I mean. And so a pizza comes unordered while they're hanging out. Who delivered the pizza? Oh, I guess it was really a pizza that he ordered.

Okay, I forgot entirely about the pizza. But he makes a big point. He's like, telling her to order the pizza without mushrooms. Yeah. And then a pizza comes with mushrooms. And then he picks them off. He does. What's that about? I don't know. I can't, see, can we just spoil the twist? Sure, sure, sure. He's an evil genius. Right, a sociopath. He's a sociopath. But he's also like really got a lot of details figured out in a way that I couldn't at 34, let alone 12, you know?

Sure. Like I can't think three steps ahead. I'm in this step. I'm doing this thing, you know? Neither of us are very good chess players, I assume. I don't even under, is it not checkers? Do you not just jump them? So yes, Luke is this evil genius. So they set up this whole thing, Luke and Garrett set up this whole thing where Garrett's going to sneak back into the house and Pretend to be a home invader murderer guy right and pretend that he himself has been shot he like runs out into the yard and you think he's been shot and killed and I was like Oh, fuck, this is getting real. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's not what happened. It's not what happened. It's not what happened. Uh-huh. Lucas set this whole thing up to be a trixie boy to get Ashley to like him maybe or just fuck with her? I don't know if he really intended for it to go down like she thought it was a home invasion, she falls in love with him because he protects her. Or whether that really was just the setup for what happens later and that is what he told Garrett to get Garrett to go along with it.

Yeah, I think the plan all along must have been murder. I guess, but not to murder her. No, but to murder the other boys. Right. To murder. Right. You'd have to have tofriends to her. Right. I air-quoted that as you all heard. I mean, all boyfriends are shitty. We all know that. Especially that age. Oh my god, yeah.

Yeah, we're the worst. And girls are stupid. They're going after Ricky's and Jerrimes, you know? too'e'e's and Jerries. thrown, from work. Every year I get a bucket of Saris' chocolate pretzels. That's nice. Yeah. Cash would be better.

Yeah. Yeah. We could sell these. A raise would be great. Yeah. Just going door-to-door selling individual. Can you help out my basketball team? Sir, you're in your 40s. You don't know that that that that that that's that's that's that's th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. thea. the Alan did the first part and I did the second part, but

I bet it all sounded the same to you, uncultured bozo's. And I was also miming, pushing a basketball back and forth between my legs. Is that what you were doing? I thought you were just dancing. So Luke throws Ashley's phone into the fish tank. Which I thought was a nice mechanic to cut them off. Because horror movies are always looking for a way to like do away with the cell phones. You can't have a cell phone and make it work.

And him like accidentally throwing her phone into the fish tank. I thought was a very nice way to do it. Yeah. That's not what happened. He had throw it in the fish tank? Because he gets her phone back out and starts texting the boys. I think he had put her phone into a bag. How do you not notice that?

Because she was bugging the fuck out. You're not gonna notice little things like that. You're right. I mean, first you've got a hands. Imagine how uncomfortable that would be. The worst. You can't even just like punch them because you're in charge of them. 12-year-old boys should just be put on an island for a while until like, 80? 80? 80. Yeah.

Yeah. Or at least leashed. No, leased. No off leash. But like, there's like a scary moment where she opens the door to look at her car and there's a knife and the tire just sticking out and you're like, oh fuck, you're trapped, you're trapped, it's scary, I like it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's very effective in the beginning here, yeah.

And a brick comes through the window and says you leave, you die. I'm in. I'm in th th thin tho th. Luke's ski mask. Right. It's like a silly mask, isn't it? Yeah, it's got like ears like a donkey. Why would they not have thought that there? They're dummies. Unless Luke had thought so far ahead that he wanted her to figure it out. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. But it was very, yeah,then you're like, what the fuck? What are these kids doing? But also, Lucas is like, I'll go, I'm gonna go get my dad's gun. And she's like, okay, just lets him go. Like, why, why would she do that? I don't know. It doesn't matter. So she gets pissed, obviously,

as you would. Yeah, that theythe kid had a loaded shotgun. They both had loaded guns. Oh, though, I guess the handgun was never loaded. Right. Right. Right. But the shotgun was. For sure. Oh, oh, so she gets up in Luke's face.

And he's pistol wips her down the steps. Yeah. And knocks her unconscious. It did, but then I was like, oh, so this is a reverse babysitter. Yeah. Because in the babysitter, the kid wakes up tied down to a chair and we're going to sacrifice some spoiler alert for the babysitter. Oh, yeah. Go listen to that episode. We had a lot of fun with that one, I think.

You guys like. You guys like. holidays? I don't know. I mean maybe you shouldn't have. Maybe stop doing this to yourself then I guess. So she wakes up to a chair. There or at least Garrett is taking Oxy and getting all high. Yeah. That's gross. And this is where we learn that Luke is a full-blown fucking sociopath. Yeah, he has her tied up. And it's immediately clear that like there's no way out for him. Like the only way out is killing her her. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a their a their a their a their a their a their their their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the to the to the the to to their their their their the And it's immediately clear that like, there's no way out for him. Like, the only way out is killing her. Right. It sucks. She's gonna go to the cops.

Right, why wouldn't she? I would. So maybe his plan was to kill her all along. Oh, maybe. I don't know. I mean, it doesn't make sense to do this and think that she would not turn you in if she lived. Right? And yeah, unless he could be so charming that he could... Yeah. No. There's no charming your way back out of this. No. And no one believes a 12-year-old boy about anything, I wouldn't think. Although he's pretty coddled by his parents, which I thin' the thi. thrown, thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown he's pretty he's pretty he's thrown he's pretty he's pretty he's pretty he's pretty he's pretty he's pretty he's heatheatheatheatheatheatheathe's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he. he. he. he. he. he he. he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he thr-s so so csoooooooooooooooooooooo. toe. too. toe. too. toe. too. toe. toe. too. th the. the. he's so sooooooooo is don't caudal your children. Right. Which... But he also goes into a speech later on

about how his mother doesn't hold him anymore and that's when he went crazy. Because it's like blaming your... It's very Freudian, blaming your mom. Mom is always, particularly in horror movies, it's always the fucking mom's fault. Always.

Come on, doing the best we can. Lucy. the best we can. Lucy, why you do this to me? This is where I have the note, I am now praying to a god that I do not believe in that Luke dies painfully. Yeah. Because I fucking hate this kid. He's so hateable though. Yeah.

I'm kudos to the actor. The actor is great for this. He is really hateable. And also, like, this is just just, um, um, um, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. L. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to. to. thi. th. thi. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. this. He is really hateable. And also, like, this is just, um, what happens when you reject men, I guess. You know, it's a very like, there's that quote about like, men are afraid that women will laugh at them, women are afraid that men will kill them, which is very true. And I felt like this was like taking it to the inthenth degree. God, that quote just that quote, that quote, that quote, that quote, that quote, that quote, that quote, that quote, that quote, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi, thi thi. thi, thi. thi, thi. thi, thi. thi. thi, thi. What thi. thi. thi's thi. thi's thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi me out. I mean, the truth is a bummer. It's like the world is a vampire. We've said it a thousand times on here. I think that if Billy Corgan won't get mad, that should be on our next t-shirt.

He will. Yeah, I don't care. He should have done better. He is, and it's gross. Yeah. This kid is like three years from being a dickhead on Reddit. He's just an in-sell in waiting. Yeah. Um, if you're an in-sell and listening to this, you can fuck yourself. I don't really know what that means, but that's fine. Let's not go into it.

I don't just make everything sadder. Okay. So they start playing truth or dare. Oh. And Garrett dares Luke to touch her tit. This is something I think the movie does well. They don't show him groping her. They don't. And it's very tense and very uncomfortable. Which I appreciated. Because like I think about movies like um Last House on the Left or I spit on your grave or these rape redemption movies, where it's titulating. And like, the woman does not have any agency whatsoever.

And like, Ashley's not like a super fleshed out character, but she felt like a human being. And she felt like you're pulling for her in a way that, like, I don't know. There's like a cartoonness to those other other th, th, th, th, th, th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I don't know, there's like a cartoonist of those other movies that's not here. This feels more like on the American Mary side of things. She's a character and not just a caricature. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Where you're like, this is gross. This is not sexy, it's not tiddling. No, you're just so upset for her. So I think it does that well. Well I'll tell you what, that's the last note I have. So, shooting from the hip. That's about the 45 minute mark maybe? About.

So then just ensues a whole bunch of stuff of like them, like her getting out of the chair and signaling to somebody or getting up and trying to signal. And he, so Lucas had taken her phone and texted Ricky to come over. Ricky comes over and they jam a pencil through his face? Yeah. It's gross. I liked that actually. I thought that was a very nice like freaking out injury to give someone. Yeah yeah yeah and you it's a it's a comedy attempt callback later with that as well. Mm-hmm. I did not like that.

No. The weed coming, smoke coming out of his. So they force him to smoke weed and the smoke starts pouring out of the hole in his face and they're like, oh, dude. Yeah. Oh, so that hole in his face does not seem to bother him very much. No. Well, he did have other bigger problems, I think. Yeah. That's so so fast trying to kill him. It's true.

They knock Ricky out after he like, they go back and forth, he gets stabbed in the face, there's some fighting. And then he gets tied to a chair. And Luke starts joking that he's make them fuck in front of him? Yeah. Which is like, please don't, please don't do this. I think I probably would have turned the movie off. Oh for sure. I would have called you and told you not to watch this.

And then eventually they get him and they home alone him. Yeah. Where they drop a full paint can into his face. Yeah, they've dropped a thapapapapapapappah tha tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th. th. th th. Oh. Oh. I I I I I th th th th th th th th th th th. I I th th. I th th th th th th tho tho tho tho. tho. tho. tho. the. the. the. the the the the thea. thea. thea. thooooooooooooooooooooooooo about whether or not it would kill the person. Spoilers for that? Yeah. Totally kills him. Yeah, don't do this at home, kids. No. Was that definitely ketchup and mustard that they were dumping on the floor?

I think so. Kind of like that, actually. Oh, man. Oh, man. She's dead. Yeah. Ashley gets away and then doesn't get away? I don't remember. Yeah, she eventually like slips their grasp and runs out of the house, but then... Oh, they've set up like trip wires attached to a paint gun? Paintball guns, but I don't know why that would stop you.

They hurt. Yeah, but like running for your life versus like a hobby, you know. Well, she does get the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thrie like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, running for your life versus like a hobby, you know. Well, she does get over the fence after the trip wire and the paintball gun, but then they hit her in the head of the baseball bat again. Oh, right. And the carolers are masking the sounds of her distress. That's what it is, yep. Yeah. So don't carol.

I mean, have you ever actually seen anyone caroling? Is that a thing that happens in real life? It's happened here. People have come to your door! Yeah, I'm like a few blocks from the Theological Seminary. Oh, that's true. Yeah, so they... That's a beautiful building. It is. It is. It is. But they like to take Jesus for a walk. Jesus. Jesus times. He's also like, fuck you. It's the thu. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the th. It's the tho. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theological. theological. theological. theological. theological. theological theoooooo-sological theological theological theological theological theological theooooo. It's. my birthday. It's sweet 16 Jesus. Jesus. Jesus, time. My partner and I really liked when she kicks him in the dick when she's tied down to the chair. Yeah, kicking someone in the dick is always a good move.

I just wanted this kid to like, I wanted her to kick him in the dick to death. I just wanted this kid to be done. It was like, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I, I, I, I tho, I tho, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I to death. Like I just want this get to be done. It was like, you know what, in the end of Temple of Doom when someone gets put through that like rock breaking thing? Yeah. And it gets all mushed up by the rock break. I just wanted that to happen to him. I wanted a rock breaking thing from Temple of Doom to come out of nowhere. I would have to be pushed into it. I would have taken a Fargo, a far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far, I would have the f f f f far, I would have to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be thi. I would have thi. I would have to be to be to be to be to be to be th. I would have thi. I would have th. I would have th. I would have th. I would have th. I would have th. I would have a th. I would have th. I would have th. I would have th. I would have th. I would have th. I would have th. I would have thi. I would have a thi. I would have a thi. I would have a thi. I would have thi. I would have thi. I would have to to to to to to to to be to to to thi. I'm to to to thi. I would have thi. I would have thi. I mean, just he deserved the most gruesome of deaths. Ooh, oh, how about a bus from Final Destination? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'd like that. A lot of good ways that could die. Yeah. He doesn't. Spoiler alert. Yeah, I want to talk about that ending when we get there. Okay. So then he calls Jeremy and convinces Jeremy to come over and then hangs him in the backyard after he he he he he he he he he he he he he the he the he the the he th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. Oh, oh to th. Oh, to th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, tho tho tho tho tho tho tho, tho, tho, tho, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Oh, to to th. Oh, th. Oh want to talk about that ending when we get there. Okay. So then he calls Jeremy and convinces Jeremy to come over and then hangs him in the backyard after he's written a letter.

Yeah, saying I'm sorry for everything I did. Yeah. Jeremy is the only comedic relief in the film, I think. It is just a D-bag. Yeah, but he's real tan and wearing a hat with dollar signs and a the the thage. wearing a hat with dollar signs all over it and a big dollar sign on the front. There's no way that kid didn't have a six-pack. Just look at him. Oh my god, yeah.

He was great. But he gets hanged very graphically. Yeah. With a lawnmower. The lawnmower is like towing him up to hang it. Yeah, yeah, it's brutal. This is where I have the movie, the note, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, th, that, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th that, that, that, that, that, that, thi that, that, thi throoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooe, that, that, th I heard the note, this movie is dark. Really dark, really dark. So then Garrett is trying to set Ashley free. But only because she indicates that she is attracted to him.

He has no like, because Garrett, you almost feel sorry for him at points, like he's just being manipulated by Lucas. Yeah. But like, I don't know, man. Yeah. But like I don't know man I was 12. I don't think I would have done this. You were 12. Yeah. No, no, no. You don't. You're not falling in line with this. I hung out with a lot of scumbags when I was 12 and I never got anything close to those. Very few friends I think I would have gone to zero. You know what I mean? I just don't. I think. I th. I just. I just. I just. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't know. I don't thi. I thi. I don't thi. I thi. I don't maybe I'm wrong I don't know. He reminded me of the kid from the gate but like the metal kid Terry or whatever. Oh yeah. Although yeah. Yeah I remember now. That just seemed like the sad kid who's like yeah I'll hang out with you. I don't have a dad. Yeah. Gate's a good movie, because guys should watch that. Baby Stephen Dorf.

Yeah. Good relationship with his sister. Very heartwarming. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So Luke walks in and Garret is giving actually a light kiss on the forehead.

Just be like, I'll take care of you. But it makes me so mad that she has to be like stroking his hand for him to do this. It's insane. Yeah. And so Luke has a shotgun and shoots carrot. Right. Fucking kills him dead. Kills his friend.

Kills his friend. And then freaks out. Yeah. Does the like, look what you made me do, which, that kid is really good. And that like 12-year-old boy scre, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, th, and, th, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. And, th. And, to-a, th. And, th. And, to-a, th. And, th. And, thi, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, toa. And, thi. And, that's, thi. And, chy voice? Yeah, it's scary. Yeah. Yeah. This is what... I just have the note, Missy is currently yelling about how much she hates this movie and comparing it to the movie we're going to be doing next week. Sorry, Missy.

I mean, the trailer said this movie is a comedy. It's not a comedy. I mean, I'm looking at the rotten the rotten movie info section, and it says, in this fresh and gleefully twisted spin on home invasion horror, where is the glee? I felt no glee. Am I just an old man who finds no joy in the world anymore? I don't think so, Alan, because we really like things that are genuinely funny, thin.

Yeah. This is not, there's nothing funny about what happens here. No, I think this would be like watching funny games for me like, Ha ha ha ha. You know, like it's not. But it's right there in the title. It's, yeah, I mean, as far as a movie goes, as a horror movie goes, I don't think this is a bad movie.

But to build as a comedy is just... And the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the trailer is the trailer is a the trailer is a the trailer is a the trailer is a the trailer is a the trailer is a the trailer makes it look like I call it. That's not okay. The trailer makes it look like home invasion turns into home alone because they show like the pink can. That's actually what home alone is isn't it? Yeah, but it's like no you're right. What have home alone like ramped the fuck up and got an R rating? Yeah, that would be great. I would like to watch that. Sure. That would be great. I would like that. I would that would that would that would be that would be that would be great. I would be great. I would be great. I would be great. I would be great. I would that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th th th like th like th th th th th th th. th like th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. is a fucking violent movie. Oh my god, yep. But so funny. It used to be funny. I haven't seen it in years. I don't know. You should live in my house where you have to watch it every year. Oh really?

At this time? Yeah. Yeah. That and die hard. I've never seen it thi. I'm going to watch it this year. this year. this year. this year. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to.? Although Bruce... I thought it was a Christmas movie. Guys, can I see you for a second over here? It's not a Christmas movie, guys. Stop.

People argue about that? Like, the hot dog being a sandwich thing. I don't get why it's an argument. Why? Yeah, who cares? This movie is like, it's similar to a trick-or-treat, where you were like, how is this a Halloween movie? It's like, well, they have the dance on the Halloween. You know, it's just like... They're carving a pumpkin, okay, whatever.

Yeah, it's barely a Halloween movie. But like this is like barely a Christmas movie, but thee harowns, and the carolers are like a Christmas party, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, and, the, and, and, and, and, and, the, and, the, and, like, like, like, and, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like holiday happens in this movie. It could have taken place at any time of year. Yeah, there's like an ugly sweater that he's wearing and then the carolers are like a plot device. Yeah. Can I back up for a second? Br. I hate ugly Christmas sweaters.

I feel like it used to be a thing that people would have ugly Christmas mode to the parties, and you would have have like like like like like, and they just used to be a thing that your aunt had. Right, and it was like, it's like every, we just have to take everything that has any bit of irony in it and just suck it all out and just like, yeah. Make it an Instagram, you know? How do you feel about the boob sweaters? Boob sweaters. Boob sweaters? Yeah, where women are wearing holiday sweaters that they cut so that their boobs are sticking out, they put Rudolph noses on them? That is not a thing. Hold on. Where did you see that? What? It's been happening

for a couple years now. Hold on. I think I... I think I... I mean, that's a reaction you should be having. I'm having the same reaction without having actually seen it yet that I have about those women who knit caps for their newborns that look like nipples so when their baby's breastfeeding it just looks like they have a giant boob hanging out. You know what I mean? Have you seen this? No I haven't, but... Oh I fucking hate that. Oh, I am, oh I am, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a their, their, their, their, their, that's a their that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a they have a giant boob hanging out. You know what I mean? Have you seen this? No, I haven't, but... Oh, I fucking hate that. Oh, I am...oh, they're...

Look, if you ever... If you're gonna put Googly eyes on your tit, do it in the privacy of your own home. Is this when people use a clapping emergency? This is an emergency. I'm having an emergency. If you're gonna put googly eyes on your tit, do it in the privacy of your own home. No, I don't like that. That's gosh.

That lady just drew them. Yeah, the world is a weird, weird place. I just don't like that. Well, you can get them where they have plastic boobs. Oh, that one says, made for your bare breast, not plastic. Oh, God. No, I hate it. Christmas sweaters.

Just fucking forget the whole thing ever happened, you know. They're the sexy costumes of Christmas time. So, eventually it gets to to to to to to to to the to the to the the the the to the the the the the the. Are they the they're the sexy costumes of Christmas time? So eventually it gets to the point where Lucas killed everyone except Ashley. Right, she is still tied up and he's talking to her about how his mom used to hug him at night and she doesn't anymore and he doesn't know why. Yeah. And Ashley says I know why she stopped. And Lucas says why? And Ashley just like closes her eyes and goes silent. So he stabs her in the neck. Yeah. And then he makes like a sound like, yeah.

Yeah. Like a bleak. Like a bleak. Like a ugh. Yeah, that's it. So then there's this whole comedic thing of him brushing his teeth and going to bed and putting on his jammies and then having to figure out how to get the pencil on the door. But then his parents are coming home so he has to walk outside of the house. Oh right, he has like a GPS tracker on his parents. On his parents, yeah, like a low jack.

Is that's little thi the thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing thing had a club on their car the other day and I was like, you do you. Do they also just make the beeping noise when they got out of the car with their mouth for their... Boop? Do you remember that one that was a Viper or whatever that? Yeah, never mind. I remember being at Six Flags Great Adventure in the parking lot and this would have been six flags great. It's in New Jersey. Okay. And this would have been home 25 years ago. Okay. And I was in the bargy lot and walked back a car that had the Viper and I was like the Viper is armed that whole thing. And it kept saying this car has been molested. What? Someone tried to break into the car. That's like? that's a. the the the try. I. I. the try. try. try. that. that. try. that. that. try. that. try. try. that. try. try. try. try. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. try. to. to. to. to. to. to. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. to. to. the. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I was like, is that a bad translation? That must be and also that car is gonna need therapy.

But I was just like, this can't be happening right now. This is insane. That's not right. So he's killed Ashley. He's putting on his jammies. He's running around the house, knocking over like reindeer on the roof while he's he's like traipsing in and out windows. their. the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their is like is like. their their their their their their their their their their their trapes. trapes. their their their their their is like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's. He's like, he's. He's. He's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, tapes. tapes. tapes. tapes. tapes. tapes. tapes. tapes. tapes. tapes. tapes. tapes. tapes. tapes. tapes. the wiser. They're arguing because they're always arguing, seemingly, yeah. And they come in and find the blood bath, and mom starts holding Lucas, and he's very, very excited. And he pretends, he's taking his sleeping pills. I guess he pretends to be asleep for all of this, which is like, I don't understand if this was your plan, how that was going to be, like, were going to I just slept through the whole thing and they never found me like what I've never taken sleeping bills so I don't

know how I mean I take them every day I don't take ambient or anything like okay but a different prescription sleeping medication and I wake up an I'm the kid yells so it's not I don't think a blood bath would really keep a. You think a blood bath would wake you up yeah yeah also to stop I, Lucy, I'm sleeping. Just kidding. Happy holidays. Um, so while mom is holding him, they hear one of them still alive downstairs. Right from the emergency responders. Yeah. The EMTs, just like you guys. Oh my God, you guys are EMTs too.

You save this girl's life. And it's Ashley. Yeah. And she's on a stretcher going out of the house as thoes thoes thoes thoes the house thoes the house tho the house the house tho the house, the house, tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho to to to to to, to, to to to to thi, thi, tho tho to that's, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's, that that thi, happy thi, happy thi's life. And it's Ashley. Yeah. And she's on a stretcher going out of the house as he looks out the window and she looks at him and gives him the finger as she's being loaded into the ambulance. Yeah. Had the movie stopped here? Didn't it? Very exciting. Katie. I need to inform you that there's a PCS. Okay, Okay but for but the last shot of the movie is Lucas looking out his bedroom window with just like terror on his face while his mother hugs him like so relieved that he's alive and I liked that as an ending like you don't what's gonna like this is fucked this is so fucked

and how he feels right now is how she has felt all night and fuck him. Post-credit sequel like, two minutes into the credits. Why do you do this? Because I have to know, I have to report to the EMTs, what's happening in these movies? Guys, can we all agree that Alan can stop doing this? Just can turn it off when the movie ends? Can we just like make that our New Year's resolution. But how would I have seen the ghost screaming and don't pay the ghost? Don't pay the ghost. Default on your ghost bells is what that movie was called. Ghost bankruptcy. So the movie comes back on and Lucas turns around from

the window goes, mom I'm worried about Ashley I need to go to the hospital. Because he's gonna kill Ashley in the hospital. Yeah. So and that's when I had the hospital. Because he's going to kill Ashley in the hospital. So then that's when I had the note, oh this is a fucking bullshit mentor attack to this movie. This movie sucks. Like I'm so bummed on this. That was such a shitty way to end this movie. Why would they put that in there? So they can do a sequel?

Sequal? I don't like it. He's checking his list. Yeah. But we all know the sequel in the hospital, not a good idea. No, it's very, very boring. Yeah. Except for the hot tub part. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, motherfuckers. shit lately. Like Rob tried to make Lucy and me watch Rudolph. Okay. That is some bullshit. The animation is great and I love the animation. God damn it's. Every word that's coming out of their mouths I want to set these assholes on fire. Santa is a piece of shit in that movie. He's a piece of shit. Oh, why'd you have a fucked up kid, dancer, or dumber? You should be ashamed of yourself that your child has a different ability what's wrong with your seed fuck that fuck that fuck that fuck that fuck and Rob was like no no it's gonna turn around I was like I'm not sticking around for this I left

it's gross oh man thing is gross yeah everything one is gross dude do not do not and I repeat do not watch the Kurt Russell Santa Claus movie Christmas Chronicles I did not know that was a film that that that that that that that that that that was a film it that was a film it that was a that was a that was a that was a that was a that was a that was a that was a that was a that was a that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that's that's that's that's that's th. that's th. th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. What th. What the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. What's the. What's the and I repeat, do not watch the Kurt Russell Santa Claus movie, Christmas Chronicles. I did not know that was a film. It's on Netflix right now. Is it new? Kurt Russell? No, Kurt Russell?

Kurt Russell? No, he looks beautiful. Yeah, he's a beautiful man. And I was like, the boyfriend forever. Me this. It's like Christmas, Maga. It's such a bummer. What do you mean? A running joke is Kurt Russell

yelling at Santa Billboards, I'm not fat. And like it's the worst thing you could possibly be. I'll tell you, it isn't. And it's just, it's just gross. It's just such a bummer. I know it's a kids movie and I probably shouldn't be like looking for anything in it. But this is how we, these are, there are messages that we send to children. For sure. You know, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, which is why when I showed Lucy this movie, I told her, dudes are assholes. Yeah. So Katie. What? I know. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the the th. the th. th. th. the th. th. th. the th. the th. thathea, I their their their their thathea. their that, I th. their th. th. their th. their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It is. It is. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Okay, rotten tomatoes, this is an 88%. I know. What? I know. Fu-intervision has a zero. Also not that funny. What? Okay.

I think if I had gone into this movie differently, not expecting a home alone-esque comedy, I think I would have had different feelings about it. Yeah. It's not a bad movie, but it's reprehensible, you know? It's horrific. Yes, I think unnecessarily so. But that's a genre, right?

Like unnecessarily horrific is a particular subset of horror. But as we know, it's like not either of ours, like Bailey Wick. Oh, no, no, no. Do I have a Bailey Wick? Sure. What is it? Can you tell me so I can like more? finish giving this a rating. Okay, oh sorry. The thing is, I think the acting is much better than a lot of contemporary horror movies. For sure.

Especially with teens and young teens. I don't think it's that bad, but that post credit sequence has changed my mind a little bit. I'm gonna give it a five. It's like not, it's terrible, but it's not a bad, I don't know, I don't know what I'm trying to say. Do you know what I'm trying to say? I would never watch this again. Oh no, and if someone asked me if they should watch it, I say if you feel like being bummed out. Yeah, I feel like watching gross stuff. Yeah, and you might, and that, and thi's kind, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't th. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't put it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So angry. And yeah, it's kind of like, it's not bad, but I'm so mad.

Right, that's exactly how I feel. I agree with you. I'm gonna give it a four. Okay. I'm gonna go even a little bit lower, because it's just a bummer. But now I want to get into what kind of movies like 90s horror films of your teen years you really like. Yeah, but they're bad. You go back and they're bad. I know they're bad.

And then there's been a lot of like those like weirdo 80s movies that you've gotten into, like Neon Maniacs. I think you've come around on Return of the Living Dead. I gotta watch it again. I should do another episode where I would love there's a lot like that sort of become like a place that you, but not always, obviously terror vision is an example of one that does not fly for Katie. But people were mad. I heard them saying it. I heard them in the crowd saying it.

It was Dennis. It was Dennis. Yeah, Dennis doesn't like anything though. You should hear Dennis. He loves Hollano. This is rants about Suspirea. Did you see a goblin when they were just here? No, I did not go. I heard it was good, very good, but they didn't have enough chairs, so you had to like stand and watch the movie.

Oh, really? Yeah, it's what Chesina said. I don't want to do that. No, I know. I watched the movie. . Or listen, I, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. It's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I was, to. It's. It's, to. I was, to. I was, to. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. It. It was. It was to. It was to. It was to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the two touring goblins and I think this was not the one that I saw, but I saw the other one. I didn't realize there were two goblins. Yeah, it's like the two dudes are now like factioned off on their own touring goblins.

Turing goblin is a funny thing to say. Just to put it in perspective for some of you. But I saw the other Goblin play at the Homestead, Carnegie. Oh yeah. And it was fucking fantastic. Sure, you probably get to sit in the most uncomfortable seats I've ever sat in. Those are old seats. They're old seats. There weren't a lot of six foot, two, three hundred pounders back then.

So it was like- People were a smaller people. I had to sit almost completely sideways. at an aisle. It was weird. It was painful. I'm sorry. It's fine. It happens. It's an old building. I'm an old man. Yeah. Well, it's not that old. Not as old as that building. So, yeah, that's better watch out. I mean, happy holidays, I guess. But, tha. thea. I was. Yeah, I was. I'm gonna pick a movie that's like a new movie. That maybe you'll become a classic. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. I. I. I. Yeah. I. I's. I's. I'm. Yeah. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm that. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. that. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm that. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm that. I fucked up. You did. But you know why you were misled. I was. I was. I was. I was. I had another thought today that's unrelated to this movie. Every year when we're doing a Christmas episode, which is our fourth one now. Yeah. I think that we should start it off with the Bing Crosby, David Bowie, little drummer boy intro, have you ever watched this? And now? Oh, it's great. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I I th. I I I th. I I I th. I th. I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. to to th. to. th. th. thoo. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I had th. I you ever watched this? Uh, no. Oh, it's great. It's like, Bing Crosby is at his house,

and David Bowie shows up because he just moved down the street and he's like, hey, you're a singer, I'm a singer too. Let's sing a little drummer together. But there's this awkward interaction together. Yeah, and I was like, weigh. that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thrown. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. thi. thi. th. I have the bigger hair and eyeliner. Yeah, and you've always got that lightning bolt going down your face. I think it looks good. I think it looks fantastic. My clients love it.

It's totally and and am just an old man who wears cardigans and the times. And I'm just an old man who's cardigan, and black car. That's dark outside. It's safety black. It's dark outside. Union reflectors. You accuse me of lurking and it was like, no, it's just my clothes.

You're just wearing head to toe black. I get a white dog with me. That's not helpful. Listen, next year can we just do rare exports? Again. We didn't then to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. to the to. the to. the the the to. the the the the the the the the the the the their. to. to. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the their. their. the the the the the their. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the to. to. the the the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I am 100% sure. I won't put money on this. I'm putting money on it. All the money. How much money? I'm sure we haven't done it.

Okay, hold on. We did the one with the naughty. Uh, what is that silent night? to be wrong? that? We did black Christmas, and we did cramp us. If we did it, I'm going to throw myself out that window. You're not going to do that. I hate to be wrong. Should I just not tell you that we did?

We didn't do it. Hold on. I'm looking at our letterbox that's done by a friend of the podcast, Eric. And we did Gremlins one year too. Oh right, there were there were there were there were there were there were years we've done too. So I guess my argument is not right, but I'm sure we haven't done it. Oh, I was pretty sure that we had done that. You're gonna cut this because you're wrong.

Look, I just searched for rare on our Libson page, and only thing it came up is the Baba Duke, because we used the word rare rare rare rare rare rare rare rare rare rare rare rare rare to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to because we use the word rare in the description. How have we not done rare exports? I know, I don't know. Can we do it next year? Yeah. All right, let's do it next year. I was 100% sure we didn't and I am right and you are wrong. Happy, hollad days, now I feel better.

I'm vindicated in my friend being wrong. Which is weird because I'm so rarely right on this show. What's really funny is that we can't even do it next week because we're doing a different movie next week. Oh, it's true. Do you want to talk about what we're doing next week at? We did Ginger Dead Man last year for Christmas? Did we really? Was that our Christmas movie?

We're just shooting the bed on Christmas movies? Why? We we we we we we we we th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi? th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thed. thed. It. It thed. It's thi. It's thi. It's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. Why? We did Gremlins last year. No? We did Gremlins in 2016. And Black Christmas. We did a two for that year. That's, those are great movies both. It's true. Yeah. And we did crampus in 15.

We saw that in the theater. We did. That was fun. We saw a mat. thma. to a Christmas episode apparently. Oh, we did Sout Online Deadly, that's one of our worst episodes in my memory. Like literally, when I do the write-up and I say, you guys should check out these episodes, I'm gonna tell them not to listen to that one. Katie do you, how do we tell them what we're doing?

Fuck it, fuck it, it's our podcast. This is our four year. It's, we. It's, it, it, it, it, it, it, we, it, it, it, it, it, it, we, it, it, to, I, to, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, to, I, to, to, I, to, I, I, I, I'm, I, I, I, to, to, I to, I, I, I, I, I, when, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, do it anymore. I don't want to do it. Nobody likes it. Why are we doing it? Neither. What? I had so much dread about watching this movie. What? You would, first of all, I want to ask you, how do we get to the point where this was on the table?

Because I don't remember that. That's great. I had never seen it. You had seen it. You knew better. I, yeah, and I really hated it. Okay, we're doing love actually. We watched it. We're doing it right after this. This is the horror of the holiday season and complete misinterpretations of what love is. Oh my God.

I am sick to my stomach when I think about this movie. Oh, man. Maybe I just you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you that you didn't that you didn't have that you didn't have that you didn't have that you didn't have that you didn't have that you that you that you that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I thi. I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that's that that stomach when I think about this movie. Oh man, maybe I just wanted somebody else to feel my pain. Well, here, you didn't have to punch me, but I'm feeling it. I feel like you were like, my head hurts, so you punched me, right in my backfifeng shiked. Hey, you're one of my best friends, fuck you! Joy your holiday season. Yeah, so we're going to do another holiday movie. Yeah, next week for New Year's.

This episode's dropping on on Christmas Eve, so if you downloaded it today, hey, Merry Christmas. Yeah, enjoy them. And if you don't enjoy them, we'll be your new family. We enjoy you. You enjoy us. We're the- That's what love actually is really about, is podcasts, people just falling in love with their listeners. I also thought that this is like, hey, maybe your partner doesn't like horror movies.

Maybe they like Romcombs. You can share us with them. They're going to hate you for it. They're going to hate you and they're going to hate us. That's fine. Hey mom, you love Robcoms. Rob Combs, check out one of my favorite podcasts. Is that a comedy? Oh yeah. Let's get into it. All right, we'll see you next week. Thanks for listening.

Happy holidays, babies. Yeah, you guys are the best. I was gonna say we're very thankful for you, but that was last month, so. I hope you're happy. You're our present. We're present. Yeah. Bye.