Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 221- Urban Legend (1998)

Episode Date: March 25, 2019

In this week's episode, we get into one of the best (?) of the 90's slashers: "Urban Legend." Special topics for your consideration include: the halcyon days of snopes.com, bouncy bouncy hair, goth internet, hometown urban legends, 90s looks that didn't come back, 90s actors that didn't come back and doubtful literacy. Big fan of 90s slashers? Check out some of our older episodes, like Episode 8- "I Know What You Did Last Summer," Episode 44- "Scream" and Episode 201- "Halloween: H20." Have you seen this one? What did you think? Let us know your thoughts at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Twitter @werebulance or on Instagram @werewolfambulance. You can also email us for our segment "MAILBAG!" at [e-mail] and if you're feeling super generous, leave us an iTunes rating and review. Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast. 

Hey Katie. Hi, Ellen. Welcome to another episode of Werner Wolf Ambulance. Did you hear about the one about the podcast where the two people were doing a podcast but it turned out they were dead the whole time? to the today. Wait, that's not a nervous legend. No, that's not a good one? about the podcast where the two people were doing a podcast but it turned out they were dead the whole time. Wait that's not a nervous legend. No that's not a good one. I mean should we just start over?

I'm trying to think of the I think that would just be a cool podcast listen to like it turns out you're just listening. It's ghost on ghost. That's a nod to our friends the ghoul on ghoul podcast. Go ahead. Go go go go go. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. the Goul on Goul podcast. Go give them a listen. Yeah, but they're actually ghosts, which is scary and sad. I guess it's better than being ghouls. Yeah. Uh, because they be zambies and they be eating people. Zambies. Zambiys. Katie, what are we ta ta? ?

that's one? ........................................................................................................................... to................................................................................................................................................................................................... We are. A lot of star power in this one. Shaking my head now. Some fucking heavy hitters. Name me one. Jared Leto. That's one. Terror read. Hitter. Rebecca Gahart.

God rest her soul. Still alive. Well, her career isn't after she ran over that child while she was drunk. Whoops. later on in this movie. Joshua Jackson. Oh yeah, Pacey. He of Dawson Creek's Fame. Did you like that scene where he starts the car and the Dawson's Creek theme song is playing real loud? Oh, is that what? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. I don't want to. Can you drop that in here? No. Also for you genre fans out there. We've got Robert England, aka Freddy. He's a professor, which is hard to believe. My personal favorite, Brad Dorif.

Yeah, he is in this movie, but not for long enough. No, never. He's like, why the fuck isn't he in more? We have to do with the Excese 3 at some point. Oh, do we? Because he is doing, I think we've talked about this before, but, um, is it, what is the, the Scully's dad episode of X-Files? Under, beyond the sea? Beyond the sea. He's, that character that he's doing, he's that character that their episode of X-o'-o'criller, or whatever? He's doing basically that character, an exorcist, and he's like, thie Scott goes and like interviews him and father Caress like pops out of him at one

point. All right fine I do love that episode of X-Files. Oh my god it's so good. That guy who plays her dad is the best military dad and anything Twin Peaks ex-will. Oh yeah he was born to be a military dad. Bill Scully. He just talks like, he has that like astronaut accent. Yeah. Where it's like kind of southern, but like kind of cowboy. It's a real like. It's a particular cadence too where you're just like, that man demands that you listen to him.

There's a lot of elocution going on. Yeah. Who else? . Alicia wit. Why. Why hitters? Alicia Witt? Alicia Witt? Why was she never in anything else? She's apparently from reading her Wikipedia page. She's in a lot of Hallmark movies.

Oh, Alicia Whitnow. But I lost my fucking mind at one of her credits. What's that? She is Alia Atreides in Dune. When she was like six or seven years old. She's in the David David, th And I, which is one of my favorite movies because I'm real cool guy. And I like lost my fucking, I was like, who is she?

Oh my God! Also, her hair is to fucking die for. I think it's a wig in some scenes, but okay. Every time she's like, a from behind it, she's like, a bounce, a bounce, a bounce, a bounce glow. It is extremely bouncy. Bounce, bounce, bounce, glow. This was, this movie came out when I was in high school, at which point my nana had got me a subscription to 17 magazine,

which I think was the next big thing. Yeah. But she was not. She should not take. Did not take. Well there's a lot. I mean, terror read I think was the same thing was happening to her and she just like Lindsay lowhand her way out of everything. And now she's like a parody of herself which is very sad. How is she's not? She was like in the shark. She's eating. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She. She. She. She. She. She's like. She. She. She's. She. She. She. She. She. She. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She's like. She was. She was like. She was like. She was like. She was like. She was like. She was like. She was like. She was like. She was like. She was like. She was like. She was like. She was like. She was like in. She was in. She was like. She was in.nato movies. Oh, okay, okay. I mean, she's getting paid, that's fine. She's making that Ian Zering money. Yeah, I think it's Ian Zering. Yeah, so does he. That is the best possible response. That is the best possible response. Even the cover art of this movie is so perfectly of the era. It is like scream meets, I know what you did last summer, they took those, they were like,

mush them together, just rub these in and, here's the movie. Halloween H2O. Yes. I feel like almost like the haunting of Hill House. Like all of them just have like somebody in the front and then a bunch of people around them. sort of in profile Final destination. Yes. Like all that shit. It was like a shiny, possibly sharp thing in the middle.

Here's a thing I need to tell you right off the bet. Yeah. I think I might be into the scene now. I think this podcast has broken me. Okay. Is this, so remember when I hated Return of the Living Dead and it became a thing where it ended our friendship. But we have doing this podcast because we're professionals. Best friends, as Walter says. Is that your I know what you did last summer? Is it a good movie and you don't want to admit it? I think it is. See, here's what I think it is.

Do you remember when I was infatuated with Attack the Crabbord Band with their song's sticky-stickickickickickick sticky sticky sticky sticky sticky sticky sticky sticky sticky sticky sticky sticky sticky sticky sticky sticky sticky sticky sticky sticky sticky.. I I I I I I I their their sickickickickickickick. I I their their their therab Corps band with their song sticky, sickly or whatever it's called. I do, and I forgot about it. When I was playing it for everyone constantly and thought it was the funniest fucking thing on our, because it is. It is. Can I also bring up when you were obsessed with that song? It was like, my dick, my dick.

My dick is very funny too. I eventually, like, one day, was like, humming something, and I was like, oh God, I'm humming that attack attack song. I've watched the video so many times. I kind of like the song now. I have to try to erase my brain. I got you. And so I think I've watched enough of these movies, and I'm like, oh, I get it. There are some redeeming qualities. answer to that. Are you familiar with the artist John Cage? Johnny Cage from

Mortal Kombat. That's the one. He was a composer very famous for writing a piece of music that's four minutes and some seconds long. It's just silence where he would go out and sit at a piano and wait for four minutes in some amount of seconds until the audience was irate and then he would walk away. Mm. Which like the like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like the like the like the like the like the like the like the like the like, like the like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. the the the the the the the the, like, like, like, the the irate and then he would walk away. Which like the like like asshole in me is like that's good. It's very trolly, yeah. He wrote a book that I read years ago and one of the things he says in the book is like if you don't like a piece of music, listen to it again. And if you don't like it then,

listen to it th'll find something you like in it So I think that's what happened. I've seen enough of these crappy 90s slasher movies And I'm like I think I get it now. Yeah They're not supposed to be good And to be fair this movie is just I know what you did last summer. Oh a hundred percent the exact same thing but with like the catchy little gimmick of the urban legends, which people, the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I's, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's thi's thi. I's thi. thin, thi. thi. thi's thi's thi's thi's thi. I's thi, th but with like the catchy little gimmick of the urban legends which people like you know and the most confusing reveal ever in a movie I mean oh though it got me because I was no idea I thought it was Jared Leto no you thought it was Robert England no you thought it was the old guy from the ex files except he was dead I did not did you think I

I thought it was I thought it was Pacey. No, oh my god who? Michael Rosenbaum Parker Riley the guy who plays Lex Luther in Smallville the guy who's dog up in the microwave? Yes. That didn't turn you off of it. Well that's when it turned me off of it. But up until that point he kept like naysaying everything the guy. this isn't happening it's not what are you stupid you big he was really just just was really just an asshole. Yeah, he was really just a prick. Wow. Yeah. I feel like it didn't push it that hard towards him,

which is maybe why you thought that, because you were like, oh, they're pushing too hard towards Jared Leto, they're pushing too hard towards Robert England. So symmetrical. He's not an actor. I think the problem in this movie is that we're expected to believe that he can read, let alone write. And this is hot off the heels of my so-called life when he literally couldn't read. You know? Is this so that just like burned it in your mind?

I still believe that Jared Leto can't read. Do you not think that? Look at the man, he's illiterate. He is, I believe, an argument we've made before that pretty will get you a long way. Oh yeah. And I mean, he's very pretty. Oh, so pretty. Yeah. I mean... I did like that he was dressed dumpy through this whole movie? He's like a journalist. Yeah, he's just gonna wear like a big blue button down. No. Oh God, no. But who who th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I thi is thi is thi is he is he is he is he is he is he is he is he is he is he is he is he is he is he is he is he is he is he is he is he is he. I he. I he. I he. I he. I he. I he. I he. He he. He he. He he. He he. He he. He he. He thi. He's thi. He's thi. I thi is like, thi is like, thi is like, thi is like, thi is like, I tho. I thee thi is like, I thi is like, thi is like, he is like, he is like, he is like, down. Yeah, he's not Jordan Catalano. No, oh god no But who is? Just him just him Which is funny because I feel like

Everybody else is kind of Jordan Catalano and he's not. Yeah, yeah, Joshua Jackson is totally like this like assholy frat boy, but like he's the frat boy that's into punk rock. Sure, sure, sure, sure. Did you go through an urban legends phase? And that's a weird question. For sure, Delaware has a lot of really weird urban legends, and we used to go to like Pig Woman's Lane and the, uhthe the road that had the satanic midgets on it. Satanic midgets?

It's not a nice thing to say, but it was the 90s. No. There's this house and it's actually in a, I have like a weird book and this road is in that, where it's like outside of Wilmington Delaware, you drive down the road and all the trees treerees treerees treerees treerees t real weird looking. And then supposedly, like if you see the house at night when all the windows are lit up, it makes an upside down cross.

And... Exceating midgets. Why are they small though? I don't know. That's the thing like, it was just like the stupid. But there was so many people that would to the urban legend. Sure, that's the mystique, yeah. And the other big one was, which is also probably going to be very offensive. I apologize for saying bidsets earlier, was the DuPont from Delaware, they were big in Delaware. Oh, the wrestling family?

Yes, the wrestling, yeah. So they were supposed, there was this urban legend that they had inbred children that were called-a-. Why? I don't know. And that if you parked on certain roads they might have escaped from like the house. There was like these houses where the top of the walls were covered in glass outside like that like that like closed it and they were like they're keeping the zoobies in. Oh my god. So we used to go and like yeah and creep ourselves out with that stuff. So yes, I definitely went there in urban legends. You? When I first got the internet, I found Snopes.com and I would sit like in the middle of the night reading urban legends on there and just scaring the shit out of myself at like age 13. Man, imagine the Halcyon days when that's what Snopes had to do rather than

like, no, the Hiller-Clinton doesn't eat babies. Yeah, right, exactly. Like, this movie references the scream and love roller coaster. Yeah. And I remember reading that one and listening to like the wave file or whatever of the scream and then just be like, I have to go to bed like I need to get away from this and I need to pull a blanket. I was so scared. Even though Snopes is like like like like like like like like like It's just the keyboard player. He could scream like a woman. Really good scream. Yeah, I just remember scaring the shit out of myself. Oh and all the great like, the person who hangs himself in the Wizard of Oz and like all that it's like actually just a cut out of, um,

I want to say Steve Gutenberg, it could be wrong. It might just be Steve Gutenberg. I think it's a good. Well, I mean, that stuff is so fun when you're a kid. Well, and it's the babysitter thing, too, you know what I mean? It could be real. It could be real. Yeah. Calls coming from inside the house. And they definitely have fun with that in this movie. Oh yeah, I love that aspect of this movie.

Yeah. Do you think they saw, I know what you did with last summer? And they were like, well, the summer before 1997. And this movie came out in 1998, 100%. They took a lot, even the coat. Like, member in, or I do to last summer is like a person wearing a hooded poncho or a hoded parka. This movie too. So silly. Yeah, no, that movie's great.

It's got Ryan Philippe. And that guy from Roseanne. Fritt Prince Jr. No, David. David. Pretty Prince Jr. and Sarah Michelle Giller are still married in real life. It's super cute. Don't you like it when it lasts? I do. Just no intimacy.

Long lasting relationship with no interest. That's what a long lasting relationship is, Alan. Oh, God, I'm just kidding. my to listen this. The last relationship is Alan. Oh God, I'm just kidding. My poor husband. I'm so glad he never listens to this. So we start off with one of my favorite urban legends, which has been in a bunch of horror movies before, of there's somebody in the backseat.

Yes. And the gas station guys trying to warn her of it, who's Brad Dorf, who at least the first time I get pissed in this movie because the shitty lady who's driving the car who we find out later is definitely shitty so I feel good saying that. Yeah yeah she has it coming. It's also like 37 years old. Yes it has such a late 90s haircut. It like it hurts it's like where your butterfly clips. she had she if it gave me like strong a northern exposure minds. She calls Brad she's like he he's got a stutter. And she calls him freak show. Freak show. To which I have the note, fuck you lady. That's the voice of Chuckie. How dare you? Have you not seen Childs Play 2? It is a 10. But like also a reason

to hate her is that she's digging around for a cassette tape because she just like has to hear the song. I fucking hate that song. What? To the, my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the hear the song. And the scandal. I fucking hate that song. What? To the my dying day. Oh no. I hate it. It's so rewarding. Like putting your hand inside sphere. I'm getting a little toy.

Just a handful of cracker check. toe. Wait when you were saying that you meant that you were putting your hand in the reward you're getting was the snack, not the toy? I didn't pick that up. Who wants the fucking toy? It went all the peanuts at the bottom of the crackerjack box. They do all sink. Why didn't they make them so they would think?

Anyway, it's an incredibly long open. someone in the backseat. Yeah he has a really bad stutter and he's trying to like if you ever want to endear me my grandfather stuttered so if you ever want to endear me to anything have a stuttering person that's being in some way abused by somebody and I'm like I love that and I'm being with that guy forever. It's funny you didn't feel that way about Jonathan Brandis in the Stephen King it but I will let me the the the the the the th. to to to to to the to to to the th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. thean. thean. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeean. toean. toean. toe an he got mad to people making fun of the stutter. It's fine. He didn't feel the need to protect him anyway. So that's a very long open. He wasn't Brad Durf.

No, he wasn't. But who is? That's a very long open and she gets killed by the person in the backseat of the car with an axe. Yeah, I like th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thoe thoe the backseat of the car with an axe. Yeah, I like that a lot. A double-headed axe, too, which is a very D&D weapon. So, first of all, almost impossible to swing in the small space of a car. It was an SUV, I guess.

Secondly, the way the head comes out of the window, there's no way it could have decapitated her. Like, let's not th not to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thuuuant thuant to to thuant thuant thia thiolate thiolate thi, thi, the thi, thiolk to ss the the the the to swing toing toing toing toing toing to swing to swing to swing to swing to swing to swing to swing to swing to swing to swing to swing to swing to swing to swing to swing to swing to swing to swing to swing to swing to swing to swing to s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s seckiolate the the the the thiaqqqq. the the thi. the the thi. the the toingenen, the the the toing., the toing., the toing. tooomeck. the very first kill is just extremely improbable. Yeah Like try to swing an axe over a backseat is hilarious to me. It's true because it would have to get around the head rest I could have bought it if it like came around and cut her head off and then it like fell into her lap. Yeah, that would have been cool. Or she just Garot at her or something garotted yeah with them with them. The weapon of my people. Yes. Uh, thieves, halflings? Sicilians. So then we cut to Pendleton University.

And I assumed much like scream, everything was going to be a reference, and it wasn't. No, I think it's just a you know, New England. Yeah. Yeah. Alisha Witt is dressed like a business lady all the time. We're in like turtleneck sweaters touched into pencil skirts like I don't dress that nice for my job in finance. I wore this to work today. You look great. I'm wearing thi thi thiwi. Fuck you I I I I I I I this this this this this this this this this this this this this this th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the- I the-I the-I thi thi-I the-I th-I th-like th-like th. I th. I th th the. I the. I the. I thi. I this thi. I thi. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thea-I thea-I theaughed thea theea theeeeeeeea theeea thea thea theea theea thea thee shorts and flip-flops to work so fuck it. Fuck you Alicia Whit. I don't like to objectify women on the podcast but Alicia Whit I was like, hello who is this now? Yeah she's beautiful. Her skin

is luminous. I think it was the bouncy hair that really got me. Yeah. Yeah. She has a cool roommate, Tosh who is like, have you ever heard of Goth? Everything is Goth. She's on a website that just says Goth, Goth, across the top of game. I think the website was Goth for you. Oh, but it was that weird, like, 90s, they couldn't properly, like,

fit things onto a page. So it was like, gotthe for you, g got. Goth for you, goth. It's just, it was, this was giving me strong strange land vibes. Yes, yes, because she's listening to like industrial music and she's talking, she's chatting online to someone and she says, what are you into and the person says lithium? And I thought, is anybody into lithium? Like recreationally? She is. I don't think so. Oh, think so. Oh man. She's so shitty, I love to be.

I love her. I'm obsessed with her. Tosh. Tosh. And so then we've got Tara Reed, who is the college radio DJ, not buying that. And seemingly sex therapist? Yeah, she, people, no. But I did love that there was an L7 poster in

the college radio station. Yeah, so crazy. I love that when like, when we're in the car before the beheading or the, the, the axe attack, when, um, they're listening, she's listening to Tara Reed show. And the girl's like, so I've been borrowing birth control from my roommate and I'm replacing it with baby aspirin and she never noticed, but now she's pregnant. How am I going to find another roommate? Like, how are you getting into Pendleton? You know what I mean? Your parents are probably paying a lot of money for you to be there. I think Pendleton's probably a low bar school. Also, safety school. I also like that Tara Reed was like, yeah, someone told me she was listening to my radio show when she died.

Who fucking told you that, Terror Reed? Who fucking told you that? So she's dating the guy from Smallville. Yes. And he is a frat boy. And he also is a fraud boyfriend who is Pacey from Dawson's Creek, who's bleach blonde. Also does not look good, bleach blonde. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to toe. th. th. toe, th. th. th. th. th. thii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thooome, tooome, tooom-a, tooom-a, tooom-a, t. Who's, t, who's, t, t, who's, t, who's, t, who's, th. Who's, th. Who's, th. Who's, th. Who's, th. Who's, th. Who's, th. Who, th. Who, th. Who, th. Who, thi. Who, thi. Who, thi. Who's, toge. toguu. toguu. toguuuu. tooo'a. tooooooooooooooooooooooooo, Charlie Conway from the Mighty Ducks movies for your references. OK. Also, does not look good, bleach blonde. No, not cute.

Much like almost everybody else. Yeah, women can do it. Yeah, it's a hard look for dudes to pull off. It's just, you can't. It's not for you. Are you on the lacthe long cross team. Luckily, no star tattoos, which I've thin, I've figured I would have come out of the 90s with a star tattoo and had to get it covered up as an adult. Everybody I do had star tattoos.

It just was so easy. A friend has got him all the way down his spine. Oh boy. What did we mean? What did we mean? we we we we that we that we that we that we that we that we that we that we to to to to th. th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to th. to to th. to to to th. to to th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. I to to to How are we going to find our way home without our stars? Oy. Yeah, Anita Mirah, I had to see the star of my shoulder blade. I'm trying to find out how I'm getting home. That's actually a valid buzz saw. Okay, and then we've got Rebecca Gahart, okay, and then we've got Jared Letto. Who she is, she has a thing for Jared Leto.

He has a beeper because the newsroom needs to get in touch with him because he's on the school paper, you guys, the Pendleton press. He's seemingly just a yellow journalist, just just making up stories. the thinks the. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, she, she, she, she, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's th. She's th. She's thi, she's thi, she's thi, she's th. She's she's she's she's she has she has she has she has she has she has she has she has she has she has she has she's she's, she's she's she's, she's she's she's, she's, she's she's she's, she's she's she's, she's she's she's she's she's she's she's, she's she's she's she's she's she's she's she's she's, she's she's she's, she's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's thin, she's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's theeeau. She's th. She's a th. She's a thea' thia' thi. the Syndicate in the X-Files. I just referred to him as Dean Ancleface. Okay, he's great in the X-Files. I like him. And then we've got Reese. I love Reese so much. I know her from a million things, but I don't know what any of them are. Her name is L.L.D. And she's in a ton of stuff. Like, I was watching this movie, I was like, fuck, your LL-O-Cool J from H-2O.

She is 100% LL-O-Cool J from H-2O, but the same year, so you know, these are concurrent. But it's just funny, they're like, well, we need a black person to be in this movie. They need to be kind of thinky and very kind and very, and very, and very, and very, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, they, and, they, and, they, they, they, they, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, a cop. Although, she has a number of guns. What is her job? When she's watching coffee and just bang-banging at the television and repeating all the lines that are in coffee, I was losing my fucking mind.

I loved it. So much, I think it was coffee. Might have been Foxy Brown. And is that pretty much our cast? I think so. Yeah, uh, who was Stephanie Ann Mills, Felicia? I don't know of Felicia. Hmm, any other. Oh, yeah. Oh, and Robert Englund is Professor.

Right. He's the Urban Legends professor, and he is the nicest office on campus, because you know they're going to give that nice office to the urban legends professor. Your school, their thi th th th th th th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is thi thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Fi. Fi. Fi. Fi. Fi. Fi. Fi. Fi. Fi. Fi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiiiiiiiii. thiiii. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th school, I never did know college your school, have an Urban Legends department? Yeah, big, big thing at Pitt. We had math, we had science, we had art, and we had Urban Legends. So it was sort of like a Stoom school where Urban Legends was one of the last, yeah, science technology. I majored in Urban Legends. I have a degree in Urban Legends. Ask me anything, AMA. Okay, okay, uh, a. th, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big. Yeah. Uh, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, th. Yeah, thi, thi, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, technology. I majored in urban legends. I have a degree in urban legends. Ask me anything. A-M-A. Okay, uh, a hookhand. Uh-huh. True. True. The aforementioned zoobies. Do you like how this very nice, very upscale campus just had an abandoned building? Yeah. A hall that was just shut down. We can't do anything with that hall. There may have been a

murder in it. Colleges don't need real estate. We're not paying taxes on that, who cares? Yeah. Oh God it was so dumb. So there has been a massacre 20 years ago? Question mark? Yeah. 25 people were killed and the school covered it up. How? How? How? How? There's there's is is is is is is is is is is is is the the the the there's there's there's there's there's the there's the there's the there's the the the the the there's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their there there there their their there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. tho. tho. tho. tho. the. tho. the. tho. the. the. th. th. Stanley Hall. And 25 people were killed, and the school covered it up. How? How? There's so many flaws in this whole story. Especially since it was immediately found in a newspaper. In a newspaper. Like, it was in a newspaper.

And this is the era of the internet, and all of those people had families. So tell me how. Also that picture of young Robert Englin, kind of hunky. Yeah, he was cute. He's very not hunky anymore. Let's do what his thing. He's fucking Freddy. He has a thing that he's doing, yes. Dude, I'm being Freddy for that local ticket out here. It's true. So in the urban, I like the urban legends

where he's like, I want someone to eat pop rocks and drink Coke. He's taking it so fucking serious though. He is like dead serious about urban legends. And also, like, they're talking about what he has said in previous semesters. Have they taken this course before? Or are there many urban legends? Yeah, this is. You have hos in different area codes. That's from my college time.

So he tries to get Rebecca Gahard to do it, and she won't do it. Because that's what killed Mikey from Life Serial. Even though we have a picture of Mikey. And that's Mikey. Oh yeah, it is for sure. And then Pacey takes it and pretends to die on the floor. It's pretty good.

And everyone's like, ooh, hoo, he definitely gets Pepsi in his eye. He opens his eye and Pepsi rolls into it. That's funny. Yeah. Oh man. So, oh, don't forget how we meet Tosh. Oh, they're fucking. She fucking. Yeah, she's great.

She loves fucking. She's great. She's just, oh, that tosh. That's like a legit thing for having roommates in college, right? Oh, man. I have seen people fucking. That's so weird. I saw you. My shameometer is way too over to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to the to to to to the to to to to the to to to to to to be to be to be to be the the to be to be that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the to fu. the to be the to be the to be to be to be to be the to be to be to be to be to be to to to the too. too. too. the too. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that with them. I saw you.

My shameometer is way too over the top of that to happen. Same. But yeah, that's he was really funny. So like basically people start dying based on urban legends. Like Pacey gets killed, he like gets, he's parked in a car with, what is Alicia? It's character's name is Natalie Simon. I don't like that. I will continue to call her Alicia Witt.

He gets dragged up by a really brutal death. A really brutal death. All the deaths in this movie are super brutal. Also very Rube Goldberg brutal. Yeah. Because Alicia would just try to drive Pacey away because away because he's pissed for too long in the woods and she gets out of the car and there's a murderer chasing her. Right.

The murderer hooks a rope around Pacey's neck and then around the trailer hitch that's on like a 70s Oldsmobile or whatever the fuck. I don't think you're towing a lot of tow in power. And she basically pulls him up and then reverses and his feet are scraping on the top of the car, i.e. the urban legend. So much set up to make that happen. I don't know how the killer who was revealed later was able to do that. The killer in this movie, I do not understand how the killer was able to do anything. Granted, there was no scene where she was just in like a halter top

and you could see that she was super swole. Yeah, she had like his real ripped. I guess. She's doing planks. That's the thing that people do to get ripped, right? So that's how he dies. Yeah, it's a very elaborate setup. And there's also manual windows in which, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's thi's thi. She's just thi. She's just thi. She's just thi, she was thi, she's just thi, she's just thi, she's thi, she's th. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. th. She's th. th. th. th. th. thi. th thi. thee. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th the thi thi thi thi is in her dorm room room, she goes to pick up the phone and her roommate's on the internet and it makes like the modem sound.

And I was like, literally, Lucy will never know what that means. I did she's better for it. Yeah. Oh, weird. I just thought of something. they' their house you would have to talk to their parents. You had to just like be polite kids don't have to do that anymore. You don't have to do that anymore. No, you don't have to do that at all. Oh, hi, Mr. Smith is, is Jenny there. It's theyremin' thrown th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th the their th their their to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to to to to to to to to to th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. the thoo. the. the the. the the. the. the. the. to to to to to to to to to to to the. the. to the just text you up to somebody. Yeah. Gross, the world's a vampire. Everything is terrible.

All that degenerated quickly. That's why my child is locked in the basement. Anyway, carried on. Well, at least build a tower. You can hang out the tower. Get her some sunlight. I guess so we should get her some air. Yeah. She'll just text someone to get her down. I don't want to do that. I need to get her somewhere. She doesn't have...

No self-signable. Um, oh, I only refer to Alicia Witt as red in this movie. That's fine. Her hair is insane. Yeah. This movie also has a very friends vibe, but in a different way where they're all just like hanging out in the coffee shop, th and chat th and chat th and chat th and chat th and th and th and th and th and I've seen like two of them. Is it funny? I don't think it's for me.

I think it's like, uh, what's that show? That's nerdsploitation. Big, big, bank theory. Yeah, I don't think it's for me. Taman goes to pee-pe. I'm a real adult. I'm a full-I'm a b-I b-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-oan-a-a-o-o-a-o-a-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s that's-s that's-s. that's that's that's that's-s. that's-s that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that show's dead because she doesn't know he was hung above the car. Right. So she is just like... Well she thinks something has happened to him. Everyone else thinks he is just like snowboarding

or something and they're like they call the hotel where he's staying and they're like oh his name isn't on the credit card. Word? How you have a credit card then a name on it and how do I th th. How you have th. How you have you have you have you have you have you have you have th. How do you have the th. How do you have th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi have thi have thi have a thi have a thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that what just led to the fire festival like, hmm, think about it. I didn't see any of those and I'm not going to. I don't want to hear a goddamn bad word about Jarrell. Oh, then don't watch those. She's like for like five minutes she's like we've got to find him, we've got to to see what's going on. Anyway my roommates, my roommate's their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to their to their their their their their their their their to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I'm their. I'm their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I. I their. I. I their their their. I their th. I's th. I's th. I'm things. I'm things. I'm things. I'm things. just, there were like very serious things going on and they're like, let's go to a party. Let's go to a party. It doesn't matter. Everything in this movie, oh my god, I'm out of notes.

Wow. This movie, everything in it is just mushed together without any explanation. You know what I mean? It could not be bothered to write the plot in a way that made sense. There's no there's no way to go a lot of these slasher movies you can though like at the end of it go Oh wow, let me go back and piece together what happened to get you a lot of them you can't a lot of them. It's just as garbage as this. But this movie. Watch your mouth. There's no way. There's from A to K for killing. All the steps in between fall apart immediately. Right, right. Right.

Like, I can't even see her doing that to the dog. No. And how did you do that in a crowded party? I don't know. There's no way. There's no way. So, okay. So the next person to die is osh, who gets murdered in her bed.

Yeah, why? What does she have to do with shit? I guess just to scare Alicia Whit, which is a real dumb reason to die. Yeah, I mean, she gets the murderer, spoiler alert. It's she. It's Rebecca Gahard. She gets super murdery. She wants to murder everybody and I don't know why. She murders the dean, even though the dean doesn't want to investigate, let him live. She's trying to kill Reese. She's like, yeah. Like all these people that they're like, spoiler alert.

Alicia Witt was party to Rebecca Gayahart's love of her life being killed by shitty lady at the beginning of the movie who was driving like an asshole even back then. But an urban legend style doing the gang initiation flash your lights thing. Oh yeah I remember that. I remember going down to shows in Baltimore and people warning us about that. That's not true though. I know he was in newspapers like don't do this because this will happen. Wow Also racism is pretty powerful. Yes, fair and gangs. Yeah. And Baltimore. Yeah. Okay. Yes, she kills willy-nilly for no reason. But also like you were going to break up with that boyfriend when he went to college anyway. Oh sure.

You were not going to stay engaged. I loved his obituary picture. It's him like casually leading against a tree. It's definitely his senior picture, which is very funny. And also I love when she sets up her projector in the abandoned building, what is it plugged into? And projects a photo of them on the wall and it's just like her in a bikini like that side ponytail. Fuck you. Oh my god. So they kill years prior. This is the, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the. I I I the. I I I the. I I the. I I the. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I the I the I the I the I know. I know. I the. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I know. I know. I know. I know. That. I know. That. S. I. I. I. I. I. S. I. S. I. S. I. I. I. S. I. I. I. I. I. I. you. Oh my God. So they kill years prior, this is the, I know what you did last summer aspect of it, where someone killed someone in a car accident prior to this and then has to suffer the consequences later. It really is that movie.

I'm telling you, they get like probation for it. And so, and then Alicia Witt has the audacity to try to steal Jared Letto away away, the way, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, th, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and I, and I, and then, and then, and then, and then, and I, and then, and then, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, th... th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th the audacity to try to steal Jared Leto away from Rebecca Gayhart. Why am I saying these words out loud? And that is like what pushes her more over the edge, although I guess she was already killing at that point. She was only willing to murder. So I just came up with an analogy and you let me know if this works. This is like starting a pop punk band based on lit. This isn't going back to Green Day even. No.

Not even stiff little fingers. I'll give you up to Green Day. Do you is a great album. No dig and no doubt. This is like, I'm not gonna go all the way back to Halloween. I just want to sound vaguely British and kind of like a prick and start a punk band. Yeah, I think so. I think so. This is like, I'm not going to go all the way back to Halloween.

I'm going to mimic a movie that came out literally 11 months ago. I know. I mean... Sorry, lit. Yeah. Well, you are your own worst enemy. Are they on your running list? No.

So, um, yeah, so that's the big reveal at the end of the movie. It was surprising. And there was literally no place, no way she could have been in all the places that she was at once. No, there's just no way. 100%. I mean, I will pick it apart. We don't have to, but it just couldn't have. I did love post Tosh, like, Alicia Wake comes into the room and she thinks Tosh is having sex.

She's always fucking that crazy Tosh, always fucking. Fucking at taking lithium, which I feel like those two things, very exclusive. Very exclusive. They just diverge, like, robber frost style. The road less taken is lithium. Yeah. So, but she's not fucking, she's getting choked to death. Yeah. But it's ridiculous. And like Alicia Witt just comes in, puts in those like sports headphones that like back of the day would go in your ears, but they were just hard plastic resting inside your ear. You can't sleep with

those in. And like she just goes to sleep. But she wakes up with the, aren't you glad you didn't turn the lights on, written in blood on the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the to to death to to the to to the to to to to the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the, the, the, the, the. the, the, the. the. the. the. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. t in. And like she just goes to sleep. But she wakes up with the, aren't you glad you didn't turn the lights on, written in blood on the wall? Right. Which I really love that urban legend. But everyone is like, well, Tosh killed herself because her wrists are slit. Why did she write that on the wall then, sirs? And how? Why and how? It's just a morbid suicide note. Have you ever heard the dog version of that? No. There's a really gross one that's an urban legend that like somebody like gets woken up in the middle of the night by their dog licking their hand and then it's like pushes them away

and then like wakes up and their dogs been murdered. And someone's written in blood dogs aren't the only thing that lick.. Why th. Why th. Why th. Why th. Why th. Why th. Why th. Why? th. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? th. th. th. th. thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi. thi. thi. thi. th. their th. th. their th. th. their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. th. th. th. th. th. And th. And th. And thi. And thi. And to. And to. And to. And to. to. th. to. th. th. th. thi. And thi. And they. And thi. And the only thing that lick? Why, why? I don't know, but it's like, it gives me chill bumps. Like, it's real gross. It's so dumb, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I agree. I agree.

So then the dean, the dean, I'm moving on. The parking garage by the parking spikes, which I thought was an amazing death. I thought it was very inventive. Yeah, yeah, I really, I was hoping they went through his head, but they just went like his body. So he was just laying on top of them. Yeah, that was great, because the car like runs over him.

And this is around the time that Alicia Whit explains to Rebecca Gahart what happened and why all the shit's going on. Right. Which is why, and I was like, oh, I know that thing about Rebecca Gahart killing a nine year old kid. Yeah. Which is awful. It's literally one of my nightmares every time I get into a car.

Well just don't fucking drunk. That's a horrible thing. If you're a fucking dr-I. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, you do it as an accent, that's a horrible thing. If you're fucking drunk and you hit a kid, you're a fucking monster person. I went to a Wikipedia page and it doesn't say anything about being drunk. B was D. I'm pretty sure. Stop, stop, stop. I'm looking it up. I'm sorry, I really enjoy taking swear words out with just letters. I really love saying the S is S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S, I th. I th. I th. I th. I to to to to th. I to th. I to th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. thuu. to to thu thu thu thu th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. B, th. B, th. B, th. B, th. B, th. B, th. th. Just don't th. Just don't th. Just don't th. Just don't thi. Just don't thi. Just just don't thi. Just just don't thi. Just don't thi. Just don't t. Just don't t. I t. I t. I try. I try. I tell try. I try. I just try. I try. Just th S is at the F. It's just a ticket fan away. Um, D-U-I. I'm looking up D-U-I because that'll give me the information I want.

Wow, she didn't even go to jail. No, if you're famous, you don't have to. Oh. You're probably too young to remember when Vince Neil killed Razzle from Hanoi Rocks by running the car, I think, into a wall, drunk. I am. Yeah. And all he had to do was like public service announcements. Oh no, I'm sorry, she was not drunk. that B was not D. that thrown,

the toe, the-wo'er. the traffic, too' swerved around the traffic and into a two-way left turn lane to hit the child. Yeah, quick PSA, I've been noticing that shit happening a lot in Pittsburgh right now. People driving like, like swerving around buses a lot and stuff. Yeah, you can't do that. Our infrastructure is not made for more than one lane, you know. Everybody calm the fuck down. Or just like plan your day better so you're not going to be laying. Don't run that red light. Just sit there. Come on. I walk a dog a lot of them in the streets all in black and you're not going to see me when I'm coming. I don't even run on the street anymore. I only run on trails because I'm so afraid of cars turning. Yeah. Because I've been hit almost hit almost hit so hit so hit so hit so hit so hit so hit so hit so hit so hit so hit so hit so th so th so th so th so th so th so th so th the th th th th the th th th th th th th th thi. thi. thi. thi. th. that that that the thi. th. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. the. the. the. the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. I thea. I the. I can just pull right the health room and look and see what's happening. Just stop it. Fuck it, it doesn't matter. We're not going to

change anything. Anyway, I'm sorry I said she was drunk. I thought she was drunk. I thrown. She's just a jerk. I can take that all out if you want. It's okay for me to admit that I'm wrong. Okay. I'm wrong. Yeah. But I'm not wrong not wrong about not wrong about not wrong about not wrong about not wrong about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about I'm not wrong about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about. I'm not not not not that I'm not that I'm not the the the the the the the thetalk about the fraternity party? Yeah. It's commemorating the 25th anniversary of the massacre. Why is it a costume party?

Just to get terror reed in your lingerie? I think so? Okay, just checking. I was honestly surprised by the lack of boobs in this movie. Yeah, is it PG-13? It probably is. There's no blood. What do you mean there's no blood? There's decapitations and there's parking spikes. There's no blood though. I don't remember, like there's blood on the axe but there's no like blood sprays or like

people covered in gore. Even when they find the bodies later? Yeah. I mean, what's her feet? Tosh is covered in blood, but I'd be surprised if it wasn't a PG-13. It doesn't matter. I want to know no. Okay, you look it up. I'm on it. I'm not. Why are we doing that?

That M is rated R. It's M for movie. It's M for movie. Okay, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. So I'm surprised there's no boobs in it then. Yeah, sure, they had terror read. I get that wasn't a big 90s thing though that like the boobs were kind of out by that point. Yeah, I think so.

We just weren't in the boobs then. It was all just belly shirts. Let me take you back to the late 90s when boobs had fallen out of fashion. It was all butts. It was all knees. Nees for as far as the eyes the eyes the eyes the eyes the eyes the eyes the eyes the eyes the eyes the eyes the eyes the eyes the eyes the eyes the eyes the eyes the eyes the eyes the eyes the eyes the eyes the eyes the eyes the eyes the eyes the eyes the eyes the eyes their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. Yeah. B. B. Yeah. B. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. B. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. B. Yeah. I was was th. I was th. I was. I was th. Yeah. I was th. B. Yeah. I was th. B. Yeah. B. B. as the eyes could see. Oh look at her knee folds. Oh, so they go to the party. Parker, his dog gets put in the microwave. That is a grotesque scene when he opens the microwave and it's full of gore. Yeah. He was also like giving the dog beer bongs, which I don't love. Yeah, not a fan. I did like that the dog is named Hootie. It's so late 90 the the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog the dog th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. to to to to to. to to to tog. tog. tog. tog. the. the. the. the. the. thethat the dog is named Hoody. Cute, it's so late 90s. Actually it's so early 90s that dog's like about five years old. So he gets killed with Pop Rocks and Drano, which is pretty good. And also he died as he lived, beer bonging. Not an urban legend. No, that sort of falls off a little bit because parking spikes are also not an urban legend. No. And then Tara Reed gets killed while she's doing her show. Why does she get killed?

She didn't do shit to shit. It's Tara Reed. Yeah, but everyone's always gunning for Tara Reed. She gets killed but her and it's being broadcast over the air but everybody thinks it's like because of the massacre. Yeah. But is it Halloween? They're kind of like oh she's such a she's such a showboat like oh she sounds so realistic like that one dude who was like hitting on everybody. The guy who just kept popping in and saying things I liked him a lot actually. Remind me why Alicia Whitley. Remind me why Alicia White goes out away from the campus and then has to make her way back to it? Oh, her Rebecca Gahard. They're traveling with Jared Leto to try to get help, but then they find the body of Freddie Krueger in the trunk, which Rebecca Gahard has put there and Jared Leto doesn't notice, it stinks. There's no way he could carry her, or she could carry it. No, and there's's no way that nobody would notice, you know? I mean, I don't want to diminish Rebecca Gahard at all, but there's no way she's carrying

him, town multiple flights of stairs into the parking garage to hide that body. No. Mm-mm. So they like run from him, they get separated. Rebecca Gahart screams. Alishua keeps going. It does not go back to help a friend. No. Good book.

And she gets picked up by the custodian, who I feel like I knew from a lot of things. He's in a ton of stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you're like, is he the killer? No, he's not the fucking killer? Do you want to know what that guy is credited is credited is credited is credited is credited is credited is credited is credited is credited is credited is credited is credited is credited is credited is credited is credited is credited is credited is credited is credited is credited is credited is credited is credited that is credited that is credited that is credited as that that that that that that that that that that thated as thated as thed as thed as thi? No. Yes, I do. The actor's name is Julian Richings. Okay. He's credited as weird janitor.

Harsh, dude, because he dies in the car accident or at least gets badly wounded and like, I bet nobody goes back for him. So as I say in my notes, I'm going to give you a name. Welcome, Thomas. Hello, Thomas. All right. So Thomas picks her up. And she's being like kind of a creep to her. Hello Thomas. All right, so Thomas picks her up and she... But he's being like kind of a creep to her.

Well, because he's weird, janitor. And she's trying to like get out of the car and he's like, it only opens from the outside. But that's just a steam in a fact. She rolled down the window. But he's like grabbing her while he says, it only opens from the outside. th. he. he. he. he. he. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. he, he, th. he, he, he, he's he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's to to to to the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, it. he's like, he's like, he's like, it th. he's like, it thi. to to thi. to ing the situation. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. What this movie presupposes is that you should avoid weird-looking men?

I mean, it's probably just a good rule. I mean, just avoid men in general, is my feeling. As one, I agree. Um, so they get into a crash. Yeah. And I guess he's dead. I kept thinking about him because it's like she probably went back with help for like other people, but I bet nobody looks for Thomas.

No, nobody cares about the weird janitor. No. Historically. So while she's passing the abandoned building, a light is on and she hears screaming, it's raining really hard. How did Rebecca Gayhart get back to that building and set all all th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. thi, and, thi, th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. they's, they's, they's, thiaugh, thi. they's. they's, they's they're they're thi. thi. they're th get back to that building and set all that shit up before Alicia Witt gets back to the building? She must have had several vehicles in various places because it's the only way that she could have done all the things she did. She is a mastermind idiot. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Because like how did she... How did she do anything?

And then she couldn't have been in all the places that she was in. No, absolutely not. No. So she breaks into the building, at least she wit does, and finds like all the dead bodies. Pacey and I think maybe Tara Reed. Sure. I think Robert Englund might even be back. Like they're just like... Yeah, like, how did she? She she she she she she she she she she she she? She she? She she? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She could? She could? She? She could? She could? She could? She could? She? She th. She? She couldn't? She couldn't? She couldn't? She couldn't? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She, th. She, th. She th. She th. She th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th Reed. Sure. I think Robert Englund might even be back like they're just like how did she get them there? I'm a big dude, right?

If I'm spending my day carrying bodies all over the place, I'm gonna be exhausted. You're gonna be exhausted. Yeah. Maybe she says like crazy strength I guess. Yeah, and just her cardio is off the chains. Yeah. Um, At all this time, like Reese is trying to figure out what's going on as well with all of her guns. Why does she not call the real police? What's this now? Yes. Who's this now?

I don't know. I kept waiting for fucking Popo lights to shine outside. They never do. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There are. There. There. There. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. th. th. the th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the to. the the the the the. the are no police in this movie. So we go in and Rebecca Gahard is laying very 90s. When did she light all those candles? How, that would take me an hour. So when I see all the candles, I'm like, fuck, it's Tosh. I love them candle.

Yeah. It's not. Rebecca Gahard, in a very 90s, Sound garden way is laying on the bed in Jesus Christ's pose. Yes. And Alitwit's like, oh no, no you're dead. And N'ankagas. And of course she isn't. And she opens her big beautiful eyes and was like, ah. And punches her right in the fucking face.

You were so shocked. Knocking her the fuck out. You were so shocked. Knocking her the fuck out. You were so shocked. No, I wasn't. Yes, you were so shocked. As soon as I saw her on the bed, I was like, oh, she did it. It's her. It's her. I was like, it's her and that's stupid.

I'll tell you who was shocked. Rob. Extremely shocked. He thought it was Jared Let's tho, the to. th. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. told. told. to. told. told. told. told. told. told. that. that. that. tho, th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the that. th. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. thooooo. the tho. It was. It was. It was. Which, not to break it down again, but why was that one lady wearing her coat when Rebecca Gahart was swimming? I don't know. Do you think she had her do that? How did she know that Alicia would be looking? There's so many, you have to do this in order for my plan to work out in this movie? It's just the one card and it all falls.

Exactly. Eventually Reese shows up because Rebecca Gahart's like, oh, I hate you and this is why. That's my boyfriend. Here's my projector. What is it plugged into? Is she just running an extension court to another dorm? From the urban legends department. Like where did she even get a projector and where did she get a slide? Are we supposed to assume it's the same projector that the

professor was using? It must be because he did put on that photo of Mikey. What if she turned on it was just the photo of Mikey? Oh well I was good. Next slide. I do want that encyclopedia of urban legends that they had. I don't. I don't think it's real. I don't don't don't don't don't don't but I don't but I don't but I don't but I don't but I don't but I don't but I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I was really really don't. It was a th. I was a th. I was a the the the the the the the same. I was a the same. I was a the same. I was a the same. I was a the same. I was a the same. I was a the same. I was a the same. I was a the same. I was a the same. I was a the same. I was a the same. I was a really. I was a really. I was a really. I was a really. I was a really. I was a really. I was a really. I was a really. I was a really. I was a really. I was a really. I was a really. I was a really. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a cool. It was cool. Yeah, Rebecca Gahart lays it all out. It's like, that was a love of my life. And you killed him. I wasn't driving. It's fine, you were there. Yeah.

And then you tried to take Jared Leto from me. Did you think I was going to let you do that, Natalie? She's really good in this scene. Whoops, nope. I was like, oh that's why she's not in more things. Yeah. Then so she goes for the kidney ice, which is a great urban legend. Which I remember my dad telling me that he heard about happening to one of his drinking friends. Yeah. When I was a kid so, I do remember hearing that. Huh. Also, why did you tell me that? What's up with dad? Why do you so many drinking friends? They they probably are losing their kidneys for other reasons. Like dialysis. And it might be a heredity thing. Shut up, don't compare me to my father.

My friend Ricky lost his kidneys. It was dialysis, he's on dialysis. Anyway. But then even when Reese comes in, she's like, oh, gunshot wound isn't really an urban legend. Like neither are a lot of thiysis. Diiosis. Diiosis. Diiosis. Diiosis. Dio. Dio. Dio. Dio. Dio. Dio. Dio. thio. thio. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Like, thi. Like, it. Like, it. Like, it. Like, it. Like, it. Like, like, like, it. Like, it. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like. Like, like, like. Like, like. Like, like. Like, like. Like, like. Like, like. Like. Like, like. Like, like. Like. Like. Like, like. Like, like. Like, like. Like, like. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. Like, th. Like, it, it, it, th. Like, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like comes in, she's like, oh, gunshot wound isn't really an urban legend. Like, neither are a lot of these things that you've done. Neither are running over a dean with a car. Although she does do the ankle cut for him, I guess. Oh, that's right.

That's right. That's someone's going to be hiding underneath your car. Yeah. What? She's like, she'll send an email forward. Like, make sure to check under your car. Also, step-grandmother, I feel like you don't get that honorific. That seems like so weird.

She's my step-grandmother-in-law, so. Twice removed. twice. tooooe,com, but I don't. I heard she could fly, but she doesn't want you to know it. Hillary Clinton. Hillary Clinton. If that bitch could fly, I would vote for her a million times. You want flight president?

That's what it really has. I do. I want a president who can take flight. You think Reese dies multiple times in this movie. She slips in blood at one point, so she's covered in blood when we meet her again. And then she gets shot, but she's not dead. She pops back up and shoots Rebecca Gahart. And then they leave her there. They're like, do you think Reese is okay? And he's like, yeah, the paramedics were on their way. Why did you fucking stay with her? Why did you fucking see with her? She just saved your life.

Where are you going? She is literally the one person of color in this movie. I know. You should be guarding her with everything you got. Just sit there on the floor with her. Like, imagine them being like, the same thing to a low cool Jay it's true he's like what the pyramid she's like well I'm gonna take these kids at least they were there they were on their way it's so fucking ridiculous and then she pops up in the

back seat it's a call back to the opening scene I guess she's wearing the code again where did you get it yep mm mm to grab it to grab it o' the the the the to the to to to the to to to the to to the to to the to the to the to to to the the the to the the the to the the to the to to to the to to to to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the te. te. te. te. te. te. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. She's wearing the coat again. Where did she get it? Yep. Mm-hmm. She grabbed it on the way out. Okay. Did you have it on when she got shot out the window? I don't believe so. Okay. So they crash on this bridge and she flies through the windshield. Yeah. And lands in the water below. Which I have the note he hits the guard real and Gay Hart flies out the window again again second time being defenestrated in a movie does it kill her Alan she's floating down the river it does not no it does not because she is in the last scene again is she yeah they have all those kids sitting around talking about her that's right now she has straight hair that's why I have the note here's how it really goes now some other shitbird is tel like the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. th. th. th. thi thi thi. the. th. the the th. the the th. the the th. th. th. th. the th. the th. th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. th. I th. th. th. th. that the. that that's the. the. that's the the. the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. th. why I have the note. Here's how it really goes.

Now some other shit bird is telling the story. Yep. That guy looks like a real piece of shit. How old is Rebecca Gahard? How many years is she going to spend in college? And she lost all the bounce and flounce to her hair. She was just like dark and like straight. You do love bouncy hair.

I do. I'm a bouncy hair boy. You're going to rate this? It's going a little long. Sorry. No, you're just overcome with joy. Yeah, going to go first. I feel like it's hard for me to look at this movie critically, as it is for a lot of movies of that era.

I recognize it as being bad. Yeah. Seven. Okay. Point five. You? I had a lot of fun watching this movie. It's super stupid. It's real fun. And I think acknowledging how stupid these movies are made them a lot easier for me to take. Uh, I'm going to give it a 6.5. Fair.

It was a good ride and like, yeah, it's, I would, I want someone to do a film festival of just all these movies. You know we can do that. It's within our power. We can organize that? Yeah. Katie. Alan. You want to go to a mail bike? Yeah. How about some more questions from fans? Okay, great. Listeners fans. What do you guys call yourselves? Hi guys. I've become a big fan of the show? that the show? thi. th. Hi, th. Hi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that's, we that's, we that's, we th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. thi. thi. thi. thi. It's thi. It's a couple of questions for you and I'd love to hear your answer. I'm sorry, did you tell me who this is from? This is from, well I was gonna get to that at the end. This is from Peter, who says, thanks and keep making podcast magic. Magic is capitalized. Magic The Gathering will be coming for you shortly, Peter. First question, thrown a tho. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I'm thi, I'm thoome, I'm thoom. I'm thi, I'm thoomorrow, I'm thoom. I'm tho, I'm tho, I'm tho, I'm th. I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I th. I th. I I I, I th. I I th. I I th. I was, I th. I was, I was th. I was th. I was thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thoooooo. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I'm poker with a group of horror movie characters.

Who are your opponents at the table? I don't know how to play poker. I don't either. Okay, can we play some poker? We play one tho. We can play uno? Okay. Do you want to play the tau.

No? No. No. to play cards with. Alicia Whit, Jared Leno. Yeah, this is a really hard question. Ferruz a bulk. Yeah, okay, for the thrus, bulk, from the craft.

Yeah, specifically Nancy from the craft. Oh, sure. Angus Grim, sure. A tall man, if you would be. Because he'll be quiet. Because I'm to say, boy boy boy boy to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to the to to the tha, thia thia tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho to tho tho tho tho tho thoo tho thoo tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho tho tho tho tho tho the. the. the. the the toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. sure. A tall man if you were. Yeah, because he'll be quiet. Because I'm going to do a lot of talking. They'll just say, boy, and put down his heart. Perizobalk's going to do all the talking for us. I guess you have as many people playing you know as you want. Yeah, infinite.

Yeah, I'm kind of you just open to spun't the the to stop to stop to stop their to to to stop to to to to their to to to to their I got out of there. No, no, it's fine. Who do I love in horror movies? because I want to spend time with people I love. Chuckie? No, I don't love him. He's a bad guy. He's actually a good guy. That's the, that's the joke. Corey Feldman from Lost Boys. Ooh, nice. One of the frog brothers. Yeah. One but not both., I was probably should have spent the time thinking about it while you were just like, what's Katie gonna pick? Yeah, I'm real garbage at poker, so. Yeah, I'm real garbage. to the poker. So, oh, look at you. You're always throwing down the wildcars or the reduze? Yeah, the reduze. Again, Michael Myers, I'm not going to talk a lot. It might kill you, to be fair. Let's go with Lori Strode, because there'll be some tension at the table with the two of them there. They'll distract him and you can put down the pick four. I'm gonna round it out with,

I feel like I need a curveball here, the lepricon. Oh, very good, sir. He'll just man that we play for money. Can I round mine out with ice tea from Leapricon in the hood? Is that okay? Leap in the hood? What the fuck was he doing in that okay? Leap in the hood, come to do no good? What was he doing in that movie?

I don't know, we should just do that one again. There's a two part of this question that we think we can do quickly. Yeah. There's actually a completely different question. But I think we've answered this before so we can do this one quickly. Do you, have you, have you, have you, have anyed, have any, have any, have any, have any, have any, have any, have to, have to, have played, have played, have to, have played, have to, have to, have to, have to, have to, have to, have to, have to, have to, have to, have to, have to have to have any, to, have to have any, to to to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to have, to, to, to have, to have, to have, to have any, to have any, to have any, to have any, to have any, have a to have a to, have a to, have a to, have a to, have a to, have a to, have a to, have a to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to be a thea, thea, to, thea, thea, toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, to, to, to, what have you played? Do you like and if not, why haven't you? What have I liked and not liked? Well, what's your favorite gaming systems? You're because you're a role-play. I like Kthulu. I like D&D 3.5. I like the use of skills in a way that other RPGs don't always use. Like, I play a lot of second edition D&D now, and I feel like the skills aspect of that is lacking. Okay.

So I like the idea of like looking at your character sheet and being like, well, I have a pretty good score and scrying. Yeah, right. What about you? Call of Githulu, Labyrinth Lord, which is like a second first edition emulator sort of thing. Because I like the just real basic like running and smash stuff. Sure. You hate puzzles. I. the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi, thiolk. th. th. I like, th. I like, th. I like, th. I like, th. I like, th. I like, th. I like, th. I like, th. I like, th. I like, th. I like, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi. And, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, thi. Like, thi. I'm like, like, like, like, like, like, real basic like running and smash stuff. Sure. You hate puzzles. I do hate puzzles.

You know that about me. And I just picked up a book called Harlem Unbound. Oh yeah, you were showing me this. Yeah, which is like flipping the like racism of Lovecraft on its head to, uh, in gaming. So it's an interesting, more inclusive way to game. Cool. Thanks, Peter. Thanks, Peter. It's really nice with people asking us questions.

I feel very on the spot. It's fun. I'm doing a great job. You are doing a great job. Doing a great job. Hey, what do we do next week? I believe next week is our April Fool's episode. Foulk! I am so excited. I don't remember what we're doing. I have like three things I want to do, so we need to pick one of them off the air.

Okay. Our next episode will be coming out on the first of April, which is a very special day here where Ophambulance. Because we could do whatever we want. We could do whatever we want. And we did not blow up. So don't send us a fucking. wrong. No, we're doing what we want. It'll be a question mark, question mark, question mark, tune in, you're gonna love it. Yeah. Hopefully. I hope. I mean, if not, they can just stop listening. Sure. Which they won't because they're gonna

love it. Yeah, t-shirts, find us online. Anything else? Nah. Thanks to another episode of Wear All of Ambulance. Bye. Bye.