Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 223- Curse of the Cannibal Confederates (1982)

Episode Date: April 8, 2019

This week we're rejoined by a previous guest: our pal/husband and yours (but not really your husband, that would be weird), Rob! He's here to discuss his pick which has been given the dubious distinction of being the second worst Civil War movie of all time: 1982's "Curse of the Cannibal Confederates." It's free on Amazon if you're a Prime subscriber.  Special topics for your consideration include: the season in which this film is set (WHICH IS IT? No one knows), Baltimore accents, having a stealing friend that you still hang out with, insensitive names and actual facts about the actual American Civil War.  Did you miss Rob's first appearance? You can catch him in Episode 15- "The Blair Witch Project." We're not even going to ask you if you'd seen this one before because why would you have? But if you've seen it now, how mad at us are you? Let us know at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Twitter @werebulance or on Instagram @werewolfambulance. You can also email us for our segment "MAILBAG!" at [e-mail] and if you're feeling super generous, leave us an iTunes rating and review. Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast.

You know what I like about this movie? You know what I like about this movie? Nope. Nope. every sentence ends with an exclamation point. Like they're selling it to you so hard. They're like, there's a picnic! And there are zombies! And everything ends in an exclamation point. What do you like about this movie?

When they say no. I love a Baltimore exit. What are we doing? We're doing a guest episode. Oh, right. Hi Rob. Hi, right. Someone else is here. Hi, Rob. Hi, Rob. Rob's my husband. You may remember him from the Blair Witch episode,

which I edited and edited out any reference to us living together or loving one another, because I thought it would make us more popular. Well, that's nice to know. Episode 10, you know, you got to build a fan base. So when when you you you you thah you thah thah th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to th. to to to to to to to to to to th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to remember. to remember. to remember. to remember. to remember. to remember. to remember. to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. tooooooooooooooooo. too. too. too. too. too.. So when did we get married according to your podcast? I don't know. Probably somewhere in the hundreds of episodes. Oh, I mean, like, the year 632.

Yeah. It's a blood love. I'm sorry about this, guys. What did you bring us? What did you do? A big pile of steaming crap. I brought us curse of the cannibal Confederates. We're quick quick right up front so proud of them for not spilling with all case. Just like throw that out there.

They're gonna be a bit on the news I think. Why did you pick this movie? Well I lurk on a message board about the civil war? What's a cop? Well, I lurk on a message board about the Civil War. What's a cop? Well, the name of the site is called the Miniatures Page, but then there's like a sub-forum for Civil War media, Civil War books, Civil War. So this was in the worst five Civil War movies ever made. Oh wow. Believe it or not it was number two. I don't even think it was number one. Strongly disagree, having seen none of the others. Yeah, so I was actually going to go back and put a post on today. Well, you should wait until this episode comes out so you can link it.

That's what that's called Hypeing Your Wife's work, Robb. Oh my God. You know, speaking of top five worst, apparently Lloyd Kaufman said this was in the top five worst troma films of all time too. Which is a fucking feat? It is a piece. It's like, oh, there's like, they have, like, they're like, thanks killing? There's a, oh, there's like, there's a- Well, then it sounds like you guys should be thanking me. I think this is- I'm not sure where you got there.

This is our first troma, I think. It is, I mean, it's episode, what, 2.30 or so? Uh, somewhere in that neighborhood. We could have waited. But this was Rob's pick. Rob wanted to come back on and I like, it's a family affair tonight. Yeah. This is a low budget movie. Oh, oh is it? Filmed it outside of Baltimore. So this was giving me real strong alien factor vibes. I thought that too, except Alien Factor had Atlantis. Alien Factor's a god damn joy.

This is a great reason to not make a movie. This is an argument against film making. It was like they didn't know that we might notice the difference between night and day and that we might notice the difference between summer and fall. Uh-huh. And that we might notice the difference between a conversation and a monologue that was then taped together as a conversation. Oh yes. I loved the scenes that Wyatt wasn't in but was only in voice over. Where was he? He was like total like John Boy. He's later filmed, like they would later cut him in and he's out in like lush forest and it was like fucking dead of winter in the other scenes. What were they thinking? Also, without the walking and the rising from the dead and the eating,

the extensive eating scenes, I feel like this movie could have clocked in at about 45 minutes. Oh yeah. They paid for that film and god damn they used every single inch of it. Honestly. Remember that one point when they lights. I'm sure our lights. Those strange fireworks. Those fireworks sure are strange. Says the blind woman. All right, how long did it take you to figure out or was it when someone said it, that she was blind. I caught it in the opening credits because her character's name was Blind Kiyomi. So I was actually a little in the know. I thought she was just an MC. Yeah, yeah, it took me like half an hour. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the th just an MC. Yeah, it took me like half an hour. Yeah. Well, you know why?

Because she was just looking at people and she talked to him. When her boyfriend? Question more. Yeah. Came running up and she made a beeline and jumped in his arms. And I was like, no, I don't give a fuck how good you're hearing is. You're not fucking Zrip in the woods. That is like the set up to a joke my father would tell, you know?

And not a good one. And also, she just walks into the woods sometimes. She just turns and walks, like, follows somebody. Careful blind, Keomi. This is the woods. And then her sister keep ragging on her to like learn to take the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to to to to to to to tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tipging on her telling her to like learn to take care of herself. When she's like dad's dead, pack your own bikini. I told you after mom and dad died it wasn't going to take care of you.

That is fucking harsh. Yeah. And then the rest of the movie pretty much just takes care of her. Why did they change in was like phases of bikinis? That all three of them were bikinis, and then in the next cut, two of them were, and then in the next cut, nobody was. Why? And the two sisters had swapped tops and bottoms.

And we had already established that blind, blind Kiomi didn't have a bikini. And then literally in the next scene, she's just standing there and their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. tha. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tha. thea, thi, thi, the next, the next, the next, the next, the next, the next. the next. the next. the next. the next. the next, the next, the next, the next, the next the next the next the next the next the next t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. tha. t. tod. toda, today, today, today, today, te. tea. tea. toooooea. toea. toea. to. to. to. toe. toe. toe. the bikini boots and staff is a great look. I don't know if anybody caught that. Oh yeah. I think you're just thinking of this D&D art that is right there and that's why you think that. Guilty is charged.

This movie comes out swinging though even in the opening credits which by the way take like 45 minutes because they would have a scene and then go back to the credits? Did you notice that? But they show a tombstone with the name John Carpenter on it? Oh, we did not notice that. They show it twice. Because this was filmed in extremely dark vision? Yeah. And I was watching it during the middle of the day, like, I can't really see th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thee thee thee thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I to to to to to to to to see to see to thi. I to to to to see to see to see to see to see to see th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I to to to to to th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. the. the. the. the. the. the. to to to to toome. toome. toe. toeeeeeea. toea. toeea. toea. toeea. toea. to to to to to to tome was taseless. I'll dare you, sir. You don't get to take down the king. No.

Where are you now, Lloyd Kaufman? Just at conventions. I loved that they show the zombies coming out of the ground scene in its entirety, under the opening credits, because then we see it again an hour later. And it is the exact same fucking scene with one dude who looks like Paul Barrer in the king... th that's th. that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that, you don't that. You don't thathe don't tho tho to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get th. You don't th. You don't th. You don't th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You don't thattod. You don't thattoday. You don't that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that an hour later and it is the exact same fucking scene with like one dude who looks like Paul Bear in the front of me. That's the captain. Not that guy. There's like another guy who just looks like he should be carrying an urn and telling you about the undertaker.

Well yeah well some of them had like fucked up faces and some of them just had Halloween makeup and all the the maker of this film had just seen the thriller video and was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think some of them were Civil War soldiers and other weren't. What, the one was different? Who were they? Well, I think there were the mayor's, or the governor's kinfolk, or the sheriff had mentioned that there was the governor's pet project and his kinfolk had gotten up and taken a walk. They never elaborated on that line. Oh, weird.

Are you sure you're not confusing this with like a documentary you watched about Gettysburg? No, no, no, no. No, no. No, no. No. Governor Curtain really stood to it. projects there. There was. I don't have any idea what you just said. I had a note. When he does that, you just have to go, mm-hmm.

I noticed there were a couple guys with like butterfly collar flannel shirts on. I was like, that is not period specific. Something has gone on here. A lot of this wasn't period specific. Not trying to split hairs here. I mean, I was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that, that, that, I, I was like, I, that, that, that, that, I was like, that, that, th. I, the, the, the, the, the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I the, I the, I the, I, I, I, I the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. I the. I the. I the, I of the entire Southern Army. Like that, the rebel flag was adopted much later as the insignia of the entire Southern Army like that. Yeah. Can you tell us a little bit about the history of the Confederate flag?

That's a touchy subject these days. I don't know how deeply we want to dive into that, but I will say that that, and that flag was bare. Mm-hmm. That and the fact the buttons on the uniforms, no way those buttons would have still been there because the soldiers would have sold them off or traded them at that point.

Well, there's no way that all would have just been Frankenstein monsters from the Halloween store. So I don't know. Or just animated ball sex because a couple were real rough looking. Really screw to me. I also thought that they looked like the worst idea ever, a Confederate themed black metal band. They might have some legs. Yeah. What would you call that?

Quick, quick, quick, quick. Oh, Uh, actually, I can tell you. Oh, agony Ridge? Is that I believe where this took place? Interesting. Yes, I felt like that was where it took place the entire time I watched it. Yeah, sure Fritz really had a lot of, a lot of details on the plot. I feel like they didn't really follow up as much as they could of the the exposition cops. Yeah. I like that the cops showed up and they were like we're here to rescue you and the people were like, nah, I don't think so. I think we'll wait

here. I like that that police department has a septogenarian unit that they sent out to solve crimes. Pappy you take pappy and get out there. I. I. I. the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. P. P. Pappy. Pappy. Pappy. Pappy. Pappy. Pappy. Pappy. Pappy. Pappy. Pappy. Pappy. Pappy. Pappy. Pappy. Pappy. Pappy. Pappy. Pappy. Pappy. Pappy. Pappy. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the people people people people the p. I the people people there. I have no more days on the force that I have to go out there and do this. Just tore off the last page of the tear off a day calendar. And it was just an infinity symbol. Can we, okay, so let's talk about the characters. Okay. We got three girls, three guys. We got Mel who is very, it seems to be a kleptomani. I guess. Yeah he just can't resist stealing. Loves to steal. Was he supposed to be a nom that? They said they were Marines. Okay. Okay. Bill and no not Bill. Wyatt. Wyatt. The cute one. Yeah. Wyatt and Mel I think

were the Marines even though I think Mel was wearing an army uniform hit the US Army jacket on. Yeah. Yeah it was definitely army fatigue I think. So Mel, Bill, who is the ginger. Yeah. And then Wyatt who is the, uh, the Eddie rabbit-looking mothucker? What? No. The cute one? Well, later in the movie, Mel is like, you're just mad because you're with that runt Wyatt, and I was like, word word why it's the only one worth spending time with. Yeah Bill does not have a very progressive view of women. Nobody does in this movie. Including the women. Breaking out that lip crap. Oh my god and then okay so his Bill's girlfriend is Sarah whom we're told they've known each other for three weeks and they treat each other absolutely terribly. I feel like that sort of disdain should be reserved

for at least a year into our relationship. And they kind of established early on that Mel might be gunning for Sarah. Like he's kind of like, you know, she's pretty, no, he was barking. He was like, woo your girlfriend woof kind of thing I thought it was like I'm a dog on the prow you better watch out yeah this is why I misreadman all the things okay one of these days we'll get married

now that's only episode 230 go back and cut out any reference to your existence. They're like, how did she get pregnant? She edits me out of all of them too. It just seems like Garfield without Garfield. I'm just talking into a void. Anyway, Sarah sucks. That's all. Yeah, I mean, nobody is good in this movie.

I didn't quite read Sarah's character. I don't know what she was all about. She seemed very uptight and strict, but then it was like, I go ahead, steal the book. It's all, you know? Yeah, you're not allowed to drink, but she's also loved smoking. And she love stealing. And she finds men with rings sexy, which I found to be disgraceful. It was a nice ring. I mean, did you see there was like a kind of a close up on it on at one point? I was looking at something else I'm sure. It was on his pinky that is never like oh was that a pinky ring? Mm-hmm. Oh fuck a man with a pinky ring. Get himself. Get pink.

Speaking of reading, that is straight up what Lynn was doing with every one of her lines. Like she was just like yes and then this happened and then we did th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi that is that is that is that is never that is never that is never that is never that is never that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is never that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that is thi. thi. that is that's that's that's that's that's that is that is that is that is that is that is that is with every one of her lines. She was just like, yes, and then this happened, and then we did this, and then I went to that thing. I have to go now. Do you mean before or after she changes her sweater and is filmed on a different day? The end of the movie. Yeah, Lynn did not memorize a thing. They were just cute-carding her. And she is the sister of blind Keomey

Who had to memorize her lines? She wasn't raining up Yes, she was. She was scanning people's faces while she was talking to the little bit. It's like they didn't explain to her what a blind. I just didn't explain to her what a blind person would be like. I mean, didn't we learned from all those movies that like if you're playing the th?????? the the th? th, the th, th, th, th, the th, th, th. their, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, their, their, their, their. their. th. their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the explain to her what a blind person would be like. I mean, didn't we learn from all those movies that like, if you're playing blind, you just look up and to the right and you're done. Like, that's all you have to do. What a pair of sunglasses on her? A dark pair of sunglasses, she's blind Kiomi. Oh, my God.

Do you think they needed us to see that she was Japanese so they, too. That's true. And also, that was her sister, who was also Asian. So I guess we could have surmised. But she got like an, and introducing credit, too. Oh, really? Yeah, I said, and introducing whatever the actress's name was as blind Kiomi. Man, imagine this being your first job. I imit that the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other s at this point. In my reading about this film, apparently Mark Redfield was the only one who went on to do anything else. Which one is he? He was Captain Matthew Mowler.

Oh, so he was the zombie cap? Yeah. Okay. The one who like waltz was off screen at one point? Did you see him Walt? I loved it? I went with sashe? He was like, he was like moving like a zombie and then all of a sudden it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, he was like, moving like a zombie and then all of a sudden it was almost like a musical note kicked into his head. It's gone. Do you think people watch this movie that we're talking about? Like, are people who are listening to this episode? Yeah, yeah, some people did and they're mad at this right now. Do you know that this movie is a remake? No, it's not.

I'm stunned. Tell me more. The director did another movie called Night Horrors previous to this. Wow. And that is basically the same plot. Wow. It's not a bad plot. Oh no. No, I think it's a great plot.

It's a very simple horror plot. Like, people steal something from ghosts, ghost come to get it back, eat you, maybe, question mark. I have a civil war question. Do you know anyone, Katie, who could possibly answer a civil war question for me? We could call Jeremy Hedges of the Exorcist episode. Should we get him on the line? Rob, was there any documented torture between the two sides? I was thinking about this? Yes. And if there was, no, I don't th. No, I don't th. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. their, their, their, their, the two sides? I was thinking about this. And if there was, no, I don't think so. People didn't even want to run each other through with their bayonets. There was a very, very, very small percentage of actual bayonet wounds in the Civil War. You mean, there just wasn't bloodlust?

There was, I mean, there was blood lust, but it's easier to hit a guy with a to hit a to like, there's something, I don't know, about stabbing somebody I guess that turns people off. But yeah, no, I don't, yeah, the torture for me is where it fell down a little bit. Where it fell down for me a little bit is, um, the Confederates being the conf. Fuck you, you fucking Confederate, it was still all your shit. At the end I was like, wait, why did any of this matter? And Rob had to like explain to me about the Eastern mysticism. He was like, remember? They told you, the pain? You stole our pain. The book was the pain. But also the tone of the book changes? Because in the beginning, it's like, oh man, look what we did. We did some shit-doers. And then it's like, we got tortured. And I was like, but what, I thought you were, because they basically was like, we were cannibals. And then we were, did he just like skip to a later part of the book

and then go back? I'm not sure where the cannibal couldn't rest that kind of deal or? Oh, I thought that there was, the way I was understanding when he, when Mel was initially reading the book when he went off on his own after he had walked for, I don't know, three hours during the movie. I did, that was very, um, the fog where we had to watch Adrian Barbo walk. Point of order, that was a John Carpenter not. Oh, yeah, he, he, he, he, he, he, the, the, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when the, when the, when the, when the, when the, when, when, when the, when the, when the, when the, when the, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when the, when the, when the, when the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, au walk. I felt like that was a John Carpenter nod. Oh yeah he was like guys dating her right now. What's going on? So do you think the maker of this movie was dating Mel? I hope so he was he was the

best catch according to Mel. But like he gets to the he find he immediately finds the box that's got the flag in it and the diary and just start reading it. And but like he's like, the way I understood it was, we've done these awful things. And I thought that like they were alluding to cannibalism, like maybe they were starving and started eating each other or, and then it was like, no, we were a torture. We got beat up real hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard hard. That would that. That would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that. that would th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the they. And, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the th. the th. the th. the the th. the the the the the the the th. And, the the the the they. And hard that would have been great like if you set them up as like prisoners and a Union prison camp and they weren't getting fed and so they had to start eating themselves and sure that sets up a lot better than whatever the hell this was yeah even if they were like just I mean it's it's outside of Baltimore they could just be blighted which stuck in the woods for a real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real for a to to to to to the the world w. I I I I I I I I I I was I was I was a the the the the the the the the the the they to to to they to they they they they they they the they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their their their their their their to the to to the the ty ty. ty. I ty. I ty. I the the the the the the the the the the the the they're the the they're the the the woods for a real long time had to eat each other. Yeah, but it wasn't either of those, it wasn't anything. It was nothing, it was literally nothing. Civil War tie-in right before the Battle of Antietam. There was a fight right near

Burketsville, Maryland, which was the location for Blair Witch project. So I just tied it back around to your previous episode. To your previous episode. Rob, very Maryland-specific episodes of World Ambulance. I have the note why on earth are these ladies with these turds? Why on earth were any, did anybody spend any time with anyone else in this movie other than the two sisters who were stuck with each other? Like nobody liked anyone. Yeah, they were very disparate group to pull together? Yeah, the men didn't like each other, the women didn't like the women, the women, the women, the women, the women, the women the the sisters the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thii, the, thea, thea, thea, thi, thi, thi, thea, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the..ean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, toea.ea, thea.ea.ea.ea.ea, thea, thea, thea, thea, they were very disparate group to pull together. Yeah, the men didn't like each other.

The women didn't like each other and the women didn't like the men and vice versa. Why are we here? Can I go home? You are home? I have a note that says this movie is like a race to see who can say the word bell the most times, times. Blind Kiomi wins by the way. Can I read my next note? Please. Not a pun, but what does she see in Mel?

Shit. Shit. I don't know, but I hope to never in my living, living life see Mel and Kiomi make out again. Nah. Why don't you give her a real kiss? Why are you looking at them? Well, do you think they actually slept together? Because there was a pointed question at one point, did you sleep with her?

And he didn't say yes or no, no, thanks. Oh yeah, yeah. You think Kiyomi who was like, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. toooooo. tooo. too. th I love Mel, would have been like, no things. Any idea why? As a woman. He's pretty good looking, um, maybe not. And also she doesn't know. He, he chomp talked. I, everything was like full mouth clasping at all times when he said anything. Yeah. I have no idea why she wanted to be with Mel. Maybe she didn't know anybody else. Maybe they were taken. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I to. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to me to me to me to me to me. to me. to me me me. to me me me. to me me. to me me. to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be with. the the the the the the the to be with. the the to me. to me. to. to. to. to me. to me. to me. to me. to me people on earth. I got it. And the other two were taken. The heart wants what it wants. Hot take. Hot take. I'll leave your home. Or love is blind? Now you leave our home. There were lines in this movie like one guy says to the other, want a camp here tomorrow, do a little hunting?

And the other guy says, I don't know, guess so. Like, what did you come here for? What are they doing in the woods? What were they doing in the woods, though? Yeah, they were hunting. Because earlier, when the women were stuck in the th Winnebago, they were... It was only a shipping crate, right? Yeah, for sure. You were like, why is it made of wood? Yeah, it looks like they literally just pushed it up against the front seats and you were looking at the outside of the shipping crate. That whole, I can't hear them? I can. Are we supposed to believe she's magical at that point that she has better hearing than her dumb friend who hasn't stopped yelling the the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the the the the th. But the th. But th. But th. And th. And th. And the the the the the the? Yeah, the, the, thi, thi, the, the, the, the, the, yeah, yeah, yeah, and I the, it the, yeah, it th. Yeah, it th. Yeah, it they's they's they's they's th. Yeah, and th. Yeah, it th. Yeah, it, it, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, the, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the the the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee they they they they the the whole time. But when they're like, I can

never kill anything. Like, me neither. And I just have the note, I like their vegan stance on the situation. Yet they came on this hunting trip with people they don't like. I mean, who doesn't love to fuck in the woods, right? With all your friends watching, that's like what everybody does, right? Yeah. These people are adults. They are adults. T. T. T. T. I. T. I. I. These people are. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I their their their their their their their their their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I. I. I. I their. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. I theeeeeeeeeeee. I th. I th. I th. I th. I No. I mean, like I said, these guys are vets. You're meant to believe they've, you know, seen some shit at some point. So did we? This movie. I'm sorry again. I like when the cop's sis.

Call somebody a real twisted sicko. This is a good bust. I have a note that says, I literally just thought about fast-forwarding this while Rob was in the other room. I probably wouldn't have noticed. You wouldn't have because I think it was during the eating scene where they're just like stirring macaroni and cheese and jello for like, I don't know, seven or eight minutes. It's really long. They're stirring macaroni cheese and someone's going mmm. Pulling hot dogs to the outside and the one man was full of sweet potatoes. Did you Did you that? th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the they they they they the one they they they the one thi they thi they tho tho tho tho tho tho the thi they're the' tho tho tho they're wouldn't they're wouldn't they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they's. You they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're thi. You thi. You thi. You're the. You're thean. You're thean. You're toge. I toge. I've toge. I'd toge. I'd thoooo' the. I'm the. I'm the. I th the outside and the one man was full of sweet potatoes. Did you notice that? Oh, do you mean the one that I dubbed dry ass Bill because there was no blood inside of him? They were pulling dry things out of him was like napkins coming out of a little thing on them.

At one point it looked like some marshmallows on a string. Yes, yeah. He just need to store some stuff put in Bill. He's fun. We never actually saw a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the.ass Bill man. He just need to store some stuff, put it in Bill. He's fucking. We never actually saw Bill get killed. Did we? He just turned around and he's dead. He was just laying on the ground being eaten. No, it's like he got grabbed and then they cut back to Grandpa Cop and like they had dumped a bunch more blood on Grandpa Cop.

Is the thumbed. So, uh, Grandpa Copp, what are you thinking is your process for when you're attacked by the zombies? I'm thinking I'm a puppy. A dead collie who slipped its collar and ran into the street. Maybe it's all symbolism. Why did he whine? He whined so much. And it would change depending on what they were doing to him.

He never screamed that man. He was like a whining theraman the closer their hands got the louder he got. Nobody in this movie actually ever screams, do they? Oh, oh, that is 100% on Drew. No? Because Lynn screams, just looking into the camera. And there's like a, oh, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th. That th. That th. That, th. th. That, th. th. th. th. thin, th. th. th. thin, thin, thin, thi. thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. He thi. He thi. He thi. He thi. He thi. He's thi. He's thi. He's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi just looking into the camera. And there's like a, and then she starts doing it again. Yeah, she's like,

okay, I was starting again. It made me so happy because you could tell where it breaks, because it's like this one note, and then it's just a completely different note on the sudden. Oh my god. Whoever edited this movie does a worse job than I do on our podcast whenever I ever had it. Also, going back to Wyatt's weird voiceover, there was definitely a person answering him who was not part of the cast at all. You think it wasn't even Wyatt's voice?

No, no, no. Why it was saying something, talking, talking, talking, and then you hear another there. hear another ear be out, nah, nah, yeah. What are you? One of the aliens from Mars attack shows up to yell at him. Mel finds the book, steals the book, they put the flag back because we're like, we can't steal stuff. Because Mel did it without telling anyone. And then when he gets called out because, fuck. Because why Kiyomi is like, you're reading, read to me. And he's like, I don't want to read to you.

Read to me. You promise me you won't tell anyone. Why? Why can't she tell anyone? I don't know. Because it's tender, I guess. Even Sarah reads to me and I don't like her, you've known her three weeks. What is going on in this world? like I did not. Okay I did. As he fingers his ring.

He thinks about the motorcycle he stole. Why is anyone friends with Mel? That's a very good question. Everybody got that stealing friend, right? Yeah, actually, yeah. Thinking. Yes, everybody has that stealing friend. I was like really mad when I was writing notes and this one just says, the score in this attack scene is like from a sentimental moment in an educational video about your first

period. The score was befuddling. Well, they had two songs. The one was the silophone. Well, they had the one was the silophone. Yes. Do you guys see the John Cusack S S S S S S S S S S S S S S the the the the the the the the the thakakakakakakakakakakakak- Sackackackackack- the the thack-Sack- thia thia sacken the thusack the the thusa tho- tho- thi- thi- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- thus the s' the score the score tho- tho military drumbeat, and then they had the first period song. The one with the xylophone. Yes. Do you guys see the John Cusack looking zombie? There was a zombie that looked like sad John Cusack?

Did he have, was, did you have like very dark circles and white ass? Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes, I know who you mean, yes. He was eating somebody's heart like it was a harmonica? Or an ear of corn? He was just, it was so sad. Sad John Cusick. Because they tried to humanize them at some point. I don't remember how. There was something they were sad. They were sad about their own dead, maybe.

They were sad about their friends getting killed, yeah. It seemed like a little late for you know, right they're pain Rob I have another civil war related question for you All right when people died in the civil war did they pack them full of gun powder Seems like a good use of it because there is is there any other explanation why when? Fuck me they had a bag of fireworks with them that was in Sarah's pack, unbeknownst to her, it was backed in her back. Sure.

And Wyatt threw it on the fire after the first wave of zombies. Say there was on the fire and it explodes. And then there's overlaid exploding fireworks, overtop the zombies, like two pieces of film. And then the zombies just burst like sparklers I thought it might have been a metaphor for something I'm so sorry well maybe nothing I may even a spit take go on I don't know I don't know I don't know what it's a metaphor for like why are they on fire is a metaphor are they just

dazzled by fireworks like I don't know they think that they on fire? Is a metaphor? Are they just dazzled by fireworks? Like, I don't know. They think that they've gotten old and dry? They're like kindling. I don't know, maybe. I do love that you can tell they literally just blew up scarecrow heads, though. You can straight up see the wooden arms sticking out. They lingered so long on them before they exploded. Like they were like, look at the still man.

Why? I don't know, it felt like I was watching an R.M. video though. It just had this weird, weird vibe to it. Well, can we talk about the quote exploding bullets too? Tell me how an exploding bullet works, because I don't know. Oh, is that, that's like the hollow point thing where they they they's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, that's like the hollow point thing where they like go in and then they like, they'll make a pinhole and then blow out the back and whatever it is. So they don't actually explode.

So it's drawn and explosion is what you're saying. No, it like just flattens out and gets bigger. It doesn't actually blow up. No, no, these just give you a pocket full of shells and then, uh... Would you rally around your family? Guys, come on, I just thought it was real nice that he had a pocket full of sea shells for his family. I know I'm dumb. I thought it was a metaphor.

I thought it was a metaphor. What about, what about... When the cop car explodes and it's just a matchbox with lighter fluid on it? Like, here's the thing, why didn't they rent more lights for this movie? Because you would have seen it all. They knew what they were doing. There are so few lights. I feel like this entire movie was made with one like construction light and someone just

holding it like above their head. With like a flashlight duct-taped below the camera. It. And it. And it. And it. And it. And it. And it. And it. And it it, it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it's the the their their th, and it's just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just their their their th just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just it it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it it, it's their their their their their their their their their their the like construction light and someone just holding it like above their head. With like a flashlight duct taped below the camera. It's just brutal. It's so hard to look at. It was great for the session. It was great for a the's a cedar. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm like, maybe you've been in the dirt for a long time. And every time the light was on him, he was like, whoa! Yeah, da da da da da da da. Does anybody else make a note when they got, because they got excited that someone was wearing the cartoon hillbilly hat? No, but I did like it. Just like felt a hat. Did you get excited when the cop says, uh, that all our daddies wanted us the be undertakers or whatever. We didn't hear that. Yep.

Yep. Yeah, like my daddy wanted. Captain Fritz. Oh, that was a weird scene too where they're talking to the cops and the cops are in daylight but the people are in darkness. Why was that happening? Maybe that's a metaphor too. Yeah, maybe.

Maybe this whole this whole this whole this whole this whole this whole thi is this whole thi is th is th is this whole thi is thi is thi is thi is for. Let's think on that. Does everybody else have a note that just says good grief, Rob? I do, actually. Yeah, again, I apologize for this. It's that thing of where people are like, you guys should watch this movie. Why? Because it's terrible. I mean, Rob literally sent me an email and was like, hey, you guys should do this on where-all-fambulance.

It's like the second-war movie of all time. Then I was like, well, you're a-guess and it's next week, so get ready for it. Yeah, and it's kind of my fault, I did. You said, sure. There is another Civil War horror movie that has Michael Shannon and I think Elliot from ET in it. Whoa. I think that's who have two people. It's called like Black Crows. No, this is new to me. I think you're thinking of the band.

I'll probably think of the band. Where they like, they like steal some money and they're hiding, their, their, their, and their, their, their, their, and their, their, their, their, their, their. I probably think of the band. Yeah. Where they like they like steal some money and they're hiding out in a house and the house is haunted or some shit. Wait, that's this movie. So does it take place during Civil War or the house is haunted in civil war personalities? I think it's during the they're they're Confederate soldiers that have stolen like somebody's payroll or something. And the heist has gone bad and yeah. That sounds better than this one. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I presume that that one has a sense of whether it is day or night. Mm-hmm. That's good. I mean yeah there are there are the scenes where Bill is talking to Wyatt 12 hours ahead of them. Like it's a

phone call from like England to America. It was months later Alan like. Like, the scene that I'm upset about, the scene that I'm most upset about, is where Mel and Bill are standing in front of the camper, and it is cold, although blind Kiomi keeps insisting it's so hot, and she just wants to go swimming. There are no leaves on the trees. Everybody else has old winter jackets? So does she.

I mean, granted I I would have swim all year, but go on. It's right. It's just so hot. Where's my bikini? They're standing in front of the camper. It is starkly daylight and cold. And then it cuts to Wyatt, and he's standing in like a field in front of a bunch of green trees in like a warmly lit scene. How am I supposed to, where was he that day? Did he have a dentist appointment? And why did he not make it up until months later? Do you think they just ran out of money while filming? And then they started filming in the fall

and then had to finish it in like the summer? I mean, I know there's that one Peter Jackson movie, that it took of the movie and like yeah It's a shitty boyhood Yeah, with like aliens and exploding guts and stuff actually actually. But yeah, I just couldn't like I mean I'm I'm kind of bad at like planning things. So I could see if I like sat down to make a movie like, oh fuck man, we forgot to get fucking Bill to say that thing to White.

I guess we just have to go outside now and do it. Let's just call Wyatt on the phone and have him say it over the phone and we'll record it and pipe it in later. And he's the only actor that's in both movies. What both? The Night Horror, the prequel? The original version of this film. Yeah. Because Wyatt and Lynn seem to have a nice relationship.

They have the only like seemingly okay relationship. And they're the only ones who live, so I guess that's something. Do they both live? Yeah, Wyatt gets that shot in like the chest shoulder region? It doesn't seem to affect him much at all. I can't stand up and then he just stands up. Yeah, yeah. He forgot where his legs were. Yeah, it like, that's that's that. He just gets shot and when we see him, we're like, wait, where's Lynn? Oh, she's in that house over there, the one we missed, the huge house. And also I just left her there. Is that okay?

She's fine, she's wearing a different sweater. We've been wandering for days back here, but, oh, here's this house. Why? It does turn into Blair Witch, really? But really? They got attacked it to be attacked, the night, the to us again? And then find a house. I thought it was going to be more than I the Living Dead, too, when they got in there. Did you like when Mel was like, all right, I'm going to carry blind Keomey up to the house and just wait and I'll give you a signal when you guys should come up.

I'm going to go inside. He gets to the porch and he goes, Hey Wyatt! That's a signal. That's his signal. Well, it's because they threw all the fireworks on the fire. Do you like how that was supposed to be Mel's humanizing moment where he doesn't just leave blind Kiomi on the ground? Also, do you like how we keep calling her blind Kiomi? It's what she's credited as. And she insists on going with him. She says, I want Mel, I want Mel.

God. The Mel sucks. He's so tall, though. And that ring. She doesn't know. That fuck rig that he's got on his fingers. Oh God. Even when she's like, will you just hold me?

He's like, don't tell anyone. What? What? That is some, uh, everyone? That's not a healthy relationship. Don't be involved in that, no. Don't be cute either. There were literally, at that point, towards the end of the movie, Bill is dead. No one is, no one gives a shit that Bill is dead. And to be fair, I don't either. No.

I think the line is here is satisfied noises. And me too, honestly. There were literally five people to keep track of and the film couldn't even do that. Yeah, we had to pause it at one point. Yeah, and also like Lynn is over here and like let's just forget about her for a while and what happened to Wyatt? I don't know, he may have fallen down. Like it's five people. That's all you had to keep track of. Let's just take a moment here. So I did like the lights that were not allowed to see when they're talking about the lights. Yeah, when they're all just looking at them?

When we see the Confederate cannibals or cannibal confederates coming out of the ground, and they are, did you notice like the little flashball pops that were going off next to them? I was like, are those the lights? Ooh, I hope not. Are those, those are the lights, aren't they? Yes, that's the lights. I think we're led to believe that those are in fact lights. So, but those were supposed to be strange fireworks. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. When the zombies come out of the ground in the beginning, are they coming out of the ground for any particular reason to do anything? Like, is this something that happens every night or every month on the full moon or whatever? You mean, what the credits are at the top of them? Yes. I think that's just, guys, get ready. Just you wait and see. Okay, so they Charles Band movie that will give you the entire credits at the beginning and end of the movie. You know what? I like Charles Band movies, really compared to this.

I think I love every Charles Band movie. I love everything Charles Band has ever done. Ginger Dead Man? Better. Okay. Mm-hmm. I do. That's a god damn good movie. Yeah, let's do that again. Why? Uh, so... Like I haven't know if she says, whose cousin is that?

Whose cousin is who? Who has a cousin? I don't know what this means? Oh, see, the flag bearer? We just heard about him. They were like, the flag bearer got flayed, and then we just immediately see a man carrying the see the flag bear? We just heard about him. They were like, the flag bearer got flayed and then we just immediately see a man carrying the flag and it's like, you couldn't have said that up any earlier? Literally just the previous scene. Also, there had to be a scene where this one of the zombies stopped and attached the battle flag to a stick so the flag bear could have it. There was a real cute zombie.

He had black lipstick and I was like, oh, that guy's pretty cute. We're talking about the red head? Maybe. Okay, yeah. You didn't think Wyatt was cute. No, I did not think Wyatt was cute. Yeah, I don't look like Eddie Rabbit, not my scene. I don't know. Yeah. They look like Eddie Rabbit. Not my scene.

I don't know what that means. You don't know, Eddie Rabbit, the singer from the 70s and 80s? I love a rainy night. No, of course I don't. You didn't grow up to listen to the eight tracks. Oh, another point of a civil war discrepancy. One of the, one of the Confederate soldiers was black. He had black hands and one of those squirtow masks on. I was gonna get into it now, go.

They did bring their quote servants along on the march with them. He does, he was a slave from Barbados that. Did you not catch that? I didn't catch that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, they. they. they. they. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. tho, tho, tho, tho. thoooooooooooo. tooo. thoooooo, one, one, one, one, one I did not catch that, no. I didn't catch that either. Yeah, that's in the end like in the last scene. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Is we not making addition to the plot? No. I thought you were going to do your well some... Well, actually. I'm try not to actually. I think you should. I mean, you're not. th. the th. th. th. the th. the th. th. th. the th. the th. the th. the th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the end. Well, well, well, well, the end. the end. the end. the end. the end. the end. the end. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. th. th. th. the. the. I. th. I. I. th. I. I. Well, th. I. I. I. I. I. I mean, like, you're not actuallying us, you're actuallying the movie. I mean, I have a few shelves of literature over there, so. Um, yeah, it's right behind me. Yeah, it sneaks up on you. Yeah, I think the only civil war thing this movie really got right was when they found the mini ball and like the grave, a little, the bulletin. Sure, sure, sure, that was that was that was that was that was that was that was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was, that was. That was, that was, that was, that was. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was. That was, the. That was, the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that was, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the was basically the closest thing. Those Confederate uniforms were not actually Confederate uniforms. Wait, there wasn't sashing captains all over the battlefield.

Yeah, I have a note here, walking like a pimp, General Wizard. You got really excited about the mini ball, and then you were like, but it would have flattened out. Well, if it hit somebody, it would have flattened out. Oh. Can we talk about how they just walked the the tha tha tha th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thated thated thatu and thatu-a' th. thate, thatu-a' th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thatea. thateauu. to. toooooooooooooooooooooo. Yeah, thea. Yeah, th. Yeah,ed out. Can we talk about how they just walked away after they gave the book back? It was so anticlimactic? Yeah. They could have just given the book back 30 minutes earlier and saved us all the time. But they didn't know, only blind Kiomi knew and didn't tell anyone. How was she sitting on that one for? Because she loves Mel? Fucking. When Wyatt like ceremonially gives the diary back and he's just like all wide-eyed and like, oh, I'm so sorry, so sorry, sir, so sorry. And the, the, the, the, the fucking sashay captain takes it and he's just like, he kind

of like beds forward and they walk away and I was like, are you, you got to be fucking kidding me right now and then the credits just like a Blurry light on the screen is the credits I think it goes like Wyatt how are you and then it just right It's just like credits my note from that scene just says kiss him because I thought that Confederate general and why we're gonna kiss and then the member at the beginning of the credits it says something like these wonderful actors deserve to be remembered it said that was what was the the credits the credits the credits the credits the credits the credits the credits the credits the credits the credits the credits the credits the credits the credits the credits the credits the credits the credits the credits the credits the credits the credits the credits the credits the credits the credits the credits the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. the they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the credits it says something like these wonderful actors deserve to be remembered. It said that was what it said above the credits. The credits which were like almost illegible. I think they may have died in a bus accident. And then I have to note that just says, fuck, that's the end.

It took so long to get there. This was one of those, that's 80 minutes I'm never going to get back. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. the. the. they. they. they's. I they's. I they's they. I they. I they they they they. I they. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. they. the. the. they. the. the. they. the. they. they. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. Oh yeah. Yeah. I mean at least attack of the crab monsters of the decency to be an hour six. And a much better movie. Oh yes. This is this the worst movie we've ever done? I think it's time we go to the ratings face we get to answer that question. Okay. Katie would you like to go first? This is a worst movie we've ever done. It is worse than that one I refuse to finish. What was th. the th. the th. th. the the th. the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to be. to be to be the th. to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. te. tea. tea. tea. tea. tease. tea. tea. tea. tease. toda. today. t worse than alien factor. Oh yeah. It is even worse than that one I refused to finish. What was that called? Predator? I watched Predator. I just fell asleep. I'd seen it before. You fall out of sleep on like a few occasions. I usually were one. Rob, stay out of this. What was the one you refused to finish? Oh, oh, the item. Yeah, I did not finish that movie. Oh, that was better. the the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. the one. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. I was. I was. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. the. I. the. the. the. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. the. I. the. the. the. I. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. I. I. the. I. I was the item. The item. Yeah, I did not finish that movie. Oh, that might have been worse than this. It was better quality film making. Yes. But it was a later time too. They had more equipment. There was at least a

character I liked in that movie. Which one? That weird like a doctor that looked like he was wearing like the aluminum foil suit at the beginning. He died in the first four minutes. Yeah, there was there was there was there was there was there was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. He was like. He was like. He was liked. He was liked. He was liked. I was liked. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It was better. It was better. It was better. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. th. It was th. It was th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. the beginning. He died in the first four minutes. Yeah, but there was a character but I liked in the movie. I guess the captain sashaying around, didn't you? I can't, I can't even... Oh yeah, God Monster is a work of art compared to this. I'm gonna give this movie four score and seven thumbs downs. Fuck. That might be the best rating we've ever had. No hand jerky. Hand jerky's pretty fucking good. It came up so early in the process and it can never be defeated, but that's fine. Rob, what are your thoughts on the Civil War film that you brought?

And do you want to tell us what the worst civil war film of all time according to that message?........ the to to the to to their, to to their, to their, to their, to to their, their, to to to to to their, to, to, to, to, to, thi, thi, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to to to to, to, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, their, thea. Fettiia, thea, thea, thea, thi, this Civil War film that you brought? And do you want to tell us what the worst Civil War film of all time, according to that message was? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. It's Gettysburg. No, that's not true. And we're getting to do. Don't you ever say that again. It's glory. Also not does feature the captain from

Brooklyn 99 as one of the main characters. Oh Andre Brower, yep, yeah, he's so great. He's wonderful. Yeah, he's great. But this movie was awful. It was absolutely awful and I feel bad. And this is one of those things that I waited this long to come back on the show and came back with this. So I will see myself out now. 220 episodes later, this is what you came up with. Yeah, it's, I would give this, can I give it half of something? You can give it whatever the fuck you want.

Right. I will give it half a hard tech. Fair. And what is the worst movie of all time? Apparently the worst of a movie of all time I believe is gods and generals which was a Ted Turner follow-up to Gettysburg and they spent millions of dollars on. Oh. I would so much rather have watched that. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't mind it. If you like fast forward through like some of the more religious parts, it actually comes out out to be a a a a a a to be a to be a to be a the the the the the to be a the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. the worst. the worst. the worst. the worst. the worst. the worst. the worst. the worst. the worst. the worst. the worst. the worst. the worst. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I........................... I. I... I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. the. the. the. the. I. the. the. the. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. forward through like some of the more religious parts it actually comes out to be a bit of a good movie. Okay, okay. Hmm, interesting. Interesting. You. Me, this guy. Wow. I mean this is, this is hands down the worst movie we've ever done like. Yeah, I mean from the standpoint of most of the movies we've done I found something to be like,

that's that thing that I liked about that. There are a lot of hot dogs on the outside. And this movie you do love a hot dog on the outside. But they're a dry hot dog. It was really let me down. Put some fucking to be a... I'm trying, oh I don't fucking know, I'm gonna give it like two zeros. This is terrible. It's a double-ot.

Thanks Rob. Sorry guys. Stop saying you're sorry, you're sorry, you, we... Well then you're very welcome. It gave us something to do on a Sunday night, I guess. Or being off work, yeah. Guys, do you want to answer a listener question? What would the segment be called, though? What segment is that, Katie? The segment? Yeah. Are you asking me to say, you?

Mailbag? Yeah. Katie, Rob, I have a question for you too. What are your favorite movie scores or soundtracks? Oh, fuck. Let Rob go first so we can just get it out of the way. Thanks. This is from Dr. Horror Geek, friend of the podcast. Dr. Horror Geek, great to hear from you again. Are you going to say Gettysburg for you or should I?

Can I give you a top three? Oh yeah, she said favorites. Okay. Gettysburg. Uh-huh. Number one in the one hole. Glory. Okay. Insino Man. That's three. You left that like you were going to say another. Yeah. Oh, you were like. Yeah, I felt like there was going to be something after Encino Man. Is it, is it the score of Encino Man? Or is it a songed soundtrack? It is a songed soundtrack. It features such hits, like Wright said, Fred, I'm Too Sexy. Is that All Star on there? I feel like that should be in that? Or is that pre-Date? Incentimine was 93.

OK. OK, I think 92 or 93. It does have tequila. Unless. No, it doesn't. There's a scene in Instant Amendment. The disdain across the other side of the table right now. You know I love Peewe's Big Adventure. There's a scene in that movie that greatly rips off the tequila scene from Peeb's Big Adventure. There's a metal, a rap metal remake of Mama said Knock You Out. Oh, and my favorite song of all time, Frankenstein.

Buna. There's one song I could ever hear right before I die. That would be it. Play me out. I love you so much because that's so goddamn weird. Katie. Favorite soundtrack? Can I do three? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. It's your show. I looked at Rob like he was making the rules. This is in no particular order. I'm going to give it one score, two soundtracks. Okay. Halloween. Sure. Hobbs. Ops. Yeah. Days and confused.

Ooh, nice. You love a classic rock. That's a good one. Can't hardly wait. Mmm, interesting. It's a genre-spanning, magical experience. The can't hardly wait sound truck. It's got your's got your third eye blind. It's got your run DMC.

Sure. It's got your Yazoo. It's got a dog's eye view. Okay. I love that soundtrack I don't care. And obviously the titular song where the replacements. It's got it all. It's got everything you could possibly want. It's a thing, three things I'll slightly tangential but I heard that they're doing a remake. th of of th of th of th three th three th three th of th three th three th. Three th. Three th. Three th. Three th. Three th. Three thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. Three thi. Three thi. Three thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's got thi. It's got thi. It's got thi. Three thi. Three thi. Three thi. Three thi. Three thi. Three thi. Three thi. Three thi. Three th. Three th. Three three three three three three three three three three three three three three three three three three three three three three three three three three thi. Three thi. Three thi. Three the. Three the. Three the. Three theeateateateat. theateateateat. theateateateateateateateate. It's three. Three three. Three of Empire Records. Fuck that. There's not even record stores anymore. There's not record stores anymore and that was so of an era. And also a great soundtrack. Well, I think the 90s are in. I think it's going to be a new 90s.

Do you think we'll have Dire Strait's Romeo and Juliet, the saddest thu thu. They might. jumped me and I love you song. Those are a lot of emotions just in that one song. Fuck you, I love you. You dumped me. You dumped me. So I'm going to write you the most beautiful song ever to stick it to you. I feel like we talked about this before. Oh yeah, it's been dropped into the podcast before.

Yeah, the time. Alan, what are your favorite sound about dire straits, but fine. I love the Inio Morricone John Carpenter soundtrack to the thing. Of course. The Return of the Living Dead soundtrack is my favorite collection of songs as soundtrack. I think it is perfection. And if I'm gonna do a number three, oh, I'm gonna have to go out from a boy Johann Johansen and his score to a rival. It is fucking perfection. It's so good. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the. I the. I thi thi the' tho. I tho. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi tho tho tho tho tho tho thoo thoo tho tho tho thoo thoo tho the the the Johann Johansen and his score to arrival. It is fucking perfection. It's so good. I would like to say... Oh an amendment. No, no, no, no, no, no. I was sitting at my desk a couple weeks ago at work listening to a Pandora station of like mellow beats I think it's called and that song from

arrival came on and I like just started tearing up yeah at my desk and I didn't know why yeah And I was like I had to like go Google search and I was like this is the fucking song from arrival Like I'm no spoilers or anything, but you know why it's yeah That's that dude does best that's it's insane. It's very powerful. I thought you were gonna say judgment night. No No If you don't know. No, no. I thought you were going to say ghost. I thought I was going to say dirty dancing.

Can I tell you something and then we're going to cut this conversation off? Please. I will have the last word. Are you going to tell me something and then hang up and wait for my reply? Yes. We went through a period where we were watching a lot of YouTube music videos with Lucy because she was just really into watching people dance and sing, which, you know, there's a lot of 80s videos that are perfect for that.

Like we watched the, you know, the aha take on me video she really liked. And YouTube would just keep playing the dirty dancing. The last dance is the video for that song. So we watched it, I don't know, 50 times recently. Yeah, we got footloose a bunch too. We did get footloose a bunch, yeah. So, uh, our lives are stupid. That's where I'm cutting off the conversation. I wanted to to to to to to to to to to to to to that. I the that. I that. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the last. I th. I the last th. I the last th. th. the last the last th. the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last. The last. The last. The last. The last. The last. The last. The last. That's the last. The last. That's the last. That's the last. That's the last. the last. the last. the last. the last. the last. the last. the last. the last. I the last. I the last. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. th. I was. th. th. that. that. that. th. th. that. the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last dancing and footloose is the funniest fucking thing on her to me. I've never seen Ptooose. I've never seen Philoes. Great soundtrack though. My dad had it on cassette and I listened to it for a long time as a young boy. You're a Logans though. I do like Kenny Loggins.

We're a Menzina family over here. Does he do Highway to the Danger Zone too? Oh yeah, another formative song. The Top Gun soundtrack right up there. Oh my god. He also does that meet me halfway song from the, uh, over the top movie. And I'm all right from Caddyshack. God, Kenny Longins, you're so fucking beautiful. Where are you? We need him back. He's here. He's not dead.

Did he did? He's not dead. of work because everyone's sick of hearing that song over and over again. He did, he was a musical genius. Don't say was, is he dead? No, he's still alive. Everything's fine. Regular John Williams. He's a real Jerry Goldsmith. He's a Jerry Goldsmith.

He's a Jerry Goldsmith for their generation. Thank you, Dr. Horror Geek. That was really fun. Yes, thank you. I love people to th. th. th. th. to to to to to to th. to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. He's thi. He's thiiiiii. He's thiii. He's thi. He's thi. thi. He, thank you. Thanks for your continued support. Yeah, that's, I love it when people support us. Katie. Alan. What do you want to do next week? Let's do hereditary. We've been talking about it.

Yeah, I'm gonna do it. A lot of people have been like, We're going to wait until you guys have all are all done with it and then we'll get in there. Yeah, you'll get our cold take. We like cold takes. Horeeditary, it's been out about a year now. Yeah, yeah. We're getting on that hot ship. We needed to get to a place where we were okay with it. I mean, I don't give a shit. You guys Celeste says it's less scary than bird box. When I told her the people were calling her dumb-dum. She didn't care. I like that it was. It was like, I don't want to say she's a dumb-dum butt.

But I'm definitely saying you're the dumb-dum. She was like, I just think what I think what I think. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and that's that's th is th is th is th is th is thi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and that's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's like, I'm just like, I thi's thi's thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I's thi-I's thi-I's thi-I's thi-I's thi-I's thi. She's thi. She's thi. She's thi. She's thi. She's thi. She's thi. She's thi. She's thi. She's thi. She's thi. She's thi. She's thi-I thi-s. She's thi-s. thi-sa-si-si-si-si-si-si-si-si-si-si-I's thi-I's thi-I's thi-I's the way you should be. Beautiful, the beautiful way to be. Yeah, I love it. Rob, thank you so much for doing this. Thank you very much. Is there anything you'd like to hype? Jerry Prokopovich? Yeah, every every Wednesday at 7 on Civil War Talk Radio hosted by Jerry Prokopovitch. I don't even know what those words are you're saying. Yeah, that's really it. It's like he doesn't he th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi's like thi's like thi's like thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's thi. thi. thi. Is thi. Is th-I th-I th-I th-I th-I th-I th-I th-I th-I th-I thi-I thi-I thi- thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. Is thi. Is thi. Is thi. Is thi. Is thiiiiiiiiii. Is thii. Is thiii. Is thi. Is thi's thi's so he might as well hype the one he listens to instead of this one. Okay, okay. Civil War talk radio. Civil War talk radio. On the Voice America podcast network. You ever calling in?

He doesn't take calls. No. He ever right in? Uh, no, I've never actually contacted Jerry Procovovitch. This is your time Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, he he he he he he he he he. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the toe. to. the to. to. to. to fanbill. Fuck yeah, it does. It calls it Jerwell fan ones. Rob, I look forward to you never listening to another episode of Whereol Pambulon. I like you guys. You're like, I get enough of you. Yeah. You have to hear a dumb voice as an IRL.

Thank you for having me back, and I'll see you in another 277 episodes. episodes sure yeah mark it down we're going to be doing glory That's a gone off the rails it'll be a four partner how fucking long is that movie Gettysburg's a long oh glory is a like you know feature length it's like two hours or something that's still too long too long too glorious thanks for listening to another episode of Wearable Fabulance Bye bye bye bye bye another episode of Wearable Fabulance. Bye. Bye.