Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 237- Scarecrow (2013)

Episode Date: July 15, 2019

This is not the scarecrow movie you're looking for (that's a Star Wars reference, see?) In this week's episode, Katie royally botches it by accidentally selecting a SyFy channel film, the 2013 made-for-TV movie "Scarecrow." Special topics for your consideration include: a new game for us to play called 'Random Note,' the efficacy and necessity of various school punishments, why on earth these people are talking so much, BETH!!! and being absolutely broken by a movie. Oh, and if you think you might know what movie featuring scarecrows we may have intended to do, let us know-- we're in the market for a good scarecrow film! Do you like the film "Mean Girls"? UM, OBVIOUSLY. Check out the other films we've done featuring actors from that movie: 107- "Jennifer's Body" with Amanda Seyfried and Episode 104- "I Know Who Killed Me" with the inimitable Lindsay Lohan.  Have you seen this one? What did you think? Let us know your thoughts at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Twitter @werebulance or on Instagram @werewolfambulance. You can also email us for our segment "MAILBAG!" at [e-mail] and if you're feeling super generous, leave us an iTunes rating and review. Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast. 

So when I fuck up, I fuck up good, right? I fuck up big time and I so fucked up big time this week. He went hard in the fucking paint. So if you didn't listen to last week's episode, you don't know this, but I thou-flaugged up big time this week. He went hard in the fucking pain. So if you didn't listen to last week's episode, you don't know this, but I thought th was a different movie. So there are a lot of movies called Scarecrow. And I was trying to find a movie that I saw years, a couple years ago, and enjoyed, I didn't think it was particularly good, but it was enjoyable because I'd been thinking about Scarecrows a lot lately. I just think about

scaredly. So Lucy has this book, she gets into like Halloween phases where she wants to listen to what we call spooky scaries, which is like Monster Mash and Ghostbusters and all that. And she wants to read her Halloween books like the Daniel Tiger Halloween book you got her and she has a Pete the cat trick her Pete. I'm so glad she's my friend. I feel like we have so much in common to the told. Last year I gave her a doll that's sort of like a pumpkin-headed man, and she calls him Alan. So she walks around the house holding this pumpkin-headed doll going, Alan, my Alan. But so she has this book, Pete the cat, Tricker Pete, where Pete is going trick-or-treating

and he's worried that something spooky is going to happen. So in the book, he thinks something scary, but it's something very normal, right? But one of the things is that he sees something in someone's yard, and oh, it's just a scarecrow. That's not too spooky. Wrong. But whatever you lift that flap, Lucy goes, Raarah! Because she knows that scarecrow are frightening. It's their job. It's in the name, buds. So I've been wanting to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch the the the the the, the, the, the, the, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, the, their... It's, it's, their. It's, their. It's, their. their. their. their. their. their. their, their. their, their, their,row movie again, and I was looking at all of these

different scarecrow movies. I read the synopsis of this one. It sounded the most like the one I had seen. The year threw me a little bit, 2013, but I remembered watching it like in the last five-ish years I thought. I don't know. So whatever, I fucking boughed. I picked a the treeg. treeg. the-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s, the-s, the-s, the-s, the-s, the-s, the-s, tho-s, tho-s, tho-s, thi-s, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, I, I'm, tho, I, I, I, the si, I, the si, I, the si, I, I, I, I, I-s, I-s, I-s, I-s, I-s, I-s, I-s, I-s, I-s, I-s, I-s, I-s-s-s, thin, I-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s. And, tho-s. And, tho-s.I-s. I'm tho-s.I'm tho-s.a-s. I'm tho-s. And, tho-s. And, tho-s. I'm whatever I fucking blew it. I picked a sci-fi TV movie starring a girl from mean girls so like you know Which is a god damn treasure of a film. I love mean girls. Oh, I thought you meant this

Yeah, mean girls is a god damn treasure, but but but not being necessarily because of Gretchen Weeners No, it's good. It's got Lindsay Lohan. Oh, yeah, national treasure Do you also think that I know. I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's good. I that's good. I that's good. I they. I that's good. I that's good. that's good. they. that's good. thi. that's good. that's good. they. they. thi. that's got. that's got. Oh, I'm. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. That's. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. That's. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh yeah. National Treasure. Do you also think that I know who killed me is a great national treasure film? Because I do. I 100% do. Look, it's so good. It's got Neil McDonough. Remember the gardener that's like trying to fuck?

Yes. And she's like maybe cool with it? Yes. And doesn't it have like a nipple tatatatatatatatatatatatatatatat tat tat tat tat tat tat tat tat tat tat tat tat tat tat tat tat tat tatu tatu tatu tatu tatu tatu tatu ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be tha tha tha tap tap tap tap tap ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta. ta. ta. te. the the the the the the the the the t remember correctly. Oh my god, we should do that movie again. I loved that movie so much. Remember she was stripping and just like running blood down the pole? She was her finger was falling off? Oh my god. What a better movie of someone from Mean Girls, honestly. Oh, I mean, yeah, uh, Jennifer Body, starring Amanda Seafred was better. All right, she was the other mean girl.

I don't think Rachel McAdams has ever done a horror movie. I would be surprised to learn that she had. But, so yeah, we're doing Scarecrow 2013. I fucked. I fucked it up. But I just came up with a fun game for us to play. What is it? It's called Read a Random Note. All right, all right. You go first. Uh, more screaming.

How many people does it take to move a fucking Scarecrow? Uh, Bunko Party of Five Guys shoots himself with an old-ass shotgun. The special effects artist only went to the first week of Tom Savini school and learned scratches. Hot Truck guys, truck won't start. This film brought to you by crop jackets and skinny jeans. The cast in this movie looks like they were made in the CW generator. This is the opposite monster problem that Turno Noble Diaries had. In this one I'm

just like, get this fucking thing out of here. Bunko Ron Weasley and Bunko Scars Guard? I also called him Bunker Ron Weasley. I mean we've been doing this too long I've just picked up all your bunkos. RIP Devon we hardly knew you and I don't care. They're going to the country. Will they eat a lot of beaches? The cows are my favorite characters in this movie. Nicky gets flung against the window. Yes, take that yacht, that cruise ship, that Gateway Clipper. I feel like this is our William & Burroughs' word salad episode. You guys have to chop this up and make your own funny episode,

honestly. Oh my God, Katie. Wait, I started doing a countdown at the end. Now there are 10 minutes left. I hope the credits are long. Now there are seven minutes left. Please, God, give me credits. There are two minutes left.

The credits are 35 seconds for this film, by the way. Nobody, it was just Alan Smithy over and over again. Oh, man. This film is atrocious. Mercifully 86 minutes long. It did not feel like it. Oh no. Imagine if it was a two-hour film.

Last night, I told myself I had to watch to the hour mark before I could go to bed, and I would pick it up in the morning. Oh, there's no way I would want to stop and start this movie ever again. I would never come back to it. It was really hard. It was really hard. It was really hard because you just do not give a single flying fuck shit about these people, what happens, why it's happening, who it's happening to. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Just for listeners at home, if you hear the sounds of explosions, we're recording this on the 3rd of July. Yeah, and everybody fucking loves America so much now, don't you? So, happy, my return of the Living Dead day. It starts on July 3rd, 1984. Okay, someday we'll redo it. Look, that's another time I fucked up and I fucked up big time. All I do is fuck up. I will not accept that. Katie, I have made us watch some serious garbage. Oh for sure. Yeah. You know, I almost wish I hadn't set the precedent with the item where I don't have to finish movies because I was like, I'm gonna do it!

I feel like that was like a, that's your one gimmy. That's the one you can walk away from and no one's gonna fall like. Yeah, it's been like almost five years I've done it once. I really wanted to do it again. I really wanted to have you describe the end of this movie to me. I mean, I th th th th th th th th th th th really th really th really th really th really th th really th really th th really th really th really th. I th. I that thathe thathe thathe that, that, that, that, to to to the that, that, that, that, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the that, the. the. the. the. the. the. that, that, that, that's that, that, that, just, uh-uh. Yeah, I literally don't know. Oh, I actually, I've got the script here, the end of the movie just goes, oh. Yeah, that sounds right. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Oh, God. So this is our first sci-fi movie, surprisingly, somehow. How have we not done a shark-nato? Because I don't want to. And I didn't

really want it. I mean, you know. Although I really want to put Ian Ziring in his place, it's not I and come on buddy. Get your shit together. I mean you can't just say something's true. So it's our first sci-fi movie. I mean... directed by Sheldon Wilson and if that doesn't sound like a made-up name... I wouldn't put my fucking real name on this either. I'm ashamed that I picked it. It's also written by Rick's Wobalee or Rico Swaffe. Whoa, Rico Suave.

Ah, another missed opportunity to drop in a song, fuck you, Spotify. I'm happy that you are of an age that you know Rico, Suave. I feel like I was throwing that line out there and hope that you would be able to. You put that hook right in my cheek right to, Rico, Suave, you're going to know Rico, I guess if you know Return of the Mac has more modern day. Well sure it's a goddamn classic. It's the greatest song of the 90s. Rico Suave and not as much. Maybe it's good. I'll listen to it on the way how Molina. He rolls the fuck out of that R. Rico. RICO. If you don't know what we're talking about don't look it up on Spotify. Watch the video. Watch the video. the thi the video. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the video. th. th. thi. thi. the video. the video. the video. the video. the video. the video. the video. the video. th. thi. the the the th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. to. to. R. toda. today. the. the. the. I. I a song that was written to be a music video. Yeah, you wanted to see that dude thrust his pelvis in acid wash jeans and cowboy boots.

Oh my god, yes I do. Rico, Suave. So this is a movie about an improbable concept of detention on a Saturday. Have had it. That is a field trip to a barn to get a scarecrow. So I once had a Saturday detention where I had to power wash the patio of the school. That's child labor.

Well, it was so you had to do Saturday detentions to get all your detentions in so you could walk at graduation. Oh, God. Yeah. And I had to do Saturday detentions to get all your detentions in so you could walk at graduation. Oh, God. Yeah, and I wanted to walk at graduation so my nunna could see me. Um, a worthy cause. Yeah, and mostly it was just sitting in the lecture hall, which were most of the Saturday detentions. But for the last one, yeah, but you weren't allowed to talk. But for the last one, they were like th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be, to be to be, to be, the they. they. they. they. they. they. th. th. th. the the the. the the. the the. the the the the. the the. the the. the thea. toe. toe. toe. to to to to to to to to talk. But for the last one they were like anyone want to go out and power wash the sidewalk and I was like me because they were doing graduation out there so I just got to go out there and just stand there with a power washer for like I don't know I just pointed it at one spot for a really long time. Wait so did you not walk? I did. Okay yeah. But they were oh oh okay I got you I got you. It was like like like like. the the the the the the the the like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like the the the the the last. the last like like like like like like like like like. the the the last like. the the the the last. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. It was like. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the last. the the last. the last the last the last one. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the last the last the last one before graduation. They weren't having graduation while you were power washing the side.

They generally do it beforehand, yeah. They generally power wash first. I have a friend who went to... Can I tell you why we had to power wash? Because everyone in my high school chewed tobacco and with spit, so you know. That's why you have to power wash. Anyway, tell me what you're going to to'm gonna need a moment here. Yeah, it's that gross. That's so disgusting.

Yeah. And literally, can I tell you, my high school is like less than half an hour from downtown Pittsburgh. It's just, Pittsburgh gets so fucking hillbilly so fast. It's country so fast. I have a friend who went to Catholic school and his punishment, his punishment, his digging a grave. Fuck who died? Just like someone at the school. Oh damn. Oh damn.

That fucked him up for a long time. I would think so. So these kids are just going to move a scarecrow. They're going to pick up a scarecrow from a field and move it to... downtown where the holding the scarecrow from a field and move it to... Downtown, we're holding the Scarecrow at the annual Scarecrow Festival that we all know about. Why do they, why are they doing it this year? Why are they moving it this year? Um, because for a hundred years they did it at this place, and now no one remembers they want to move it closer to town? I don't get that. Everyone's tho tho they they tho they th. Because they th. Because th. Because they th. th. th. th they th they th. tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho they they they tho tho tho tho. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're tho. tho. their their tho. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho their tho their tho thooooooo thoo their their tho tho ththat they want to move it closer to town. I don't get that. Everyone's forgotten why they do it.

Why do they do it? Because this family had a cursed scarem crows. The scarecrow was cursed. And they had to bury it. That song is that they keep singing is not really something you'd throw a festival over. It's not and it's like you heard the pumpkin head poem poem poem poem poem poem poem poem poem poem that poem that that poem that that that that that that th that th th th th th th th. th th. th th th th th. th th. th th. tho o' tho o' tho o' tho o' throw a festival over. It's not and it's like you heard the pumpkin head poem or like yeah yeah yeah did you write that poem? Fuck hold on! Yeah. I didn't even bother writing it down. It's like worse than the one two Friday's coming for you. Which is a classic. Well it is but it's not good. Come on. Blow them ups. If you're like not fireworks, think about the dogs, won't you?

And the babies, they're sleeping. And the babies, yeah. And me, I'm like tired, I don't want to hear this shit. I don't like playing the, is that gunfire game? No. Oh, the movie starts off with these two other teens. One of his name, Chad, and he's is is is is is. the the they. they. thia. thia. thia. thi. their. thi. thi. thi? thi. thi. their. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. they's. they's. And, they's. And, they. And, thi. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. thi. thi. the. the. thea. thea. thea. the the the thea. the the thea. thi. tha. tha. And, I liked. The other one's name, we don't get into like an out. Yeah, but we don't find that out until much later, I don't think. I know, he calls her Marcy.

Oh, does it? Yeah, because I was like, fucking Chad and Marcy, really? Guys? They're going to go fucking a barn at one point. Tyler and Nicky. Oh, those, okay, that guy who played Tyler, Richard Harmon. You remember the movie Trick Our Treat? The one anthology movie? Yeah, yeah. He plays the kid in the vampire mask. The kid in the vampire mask. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's that kid. I liked. the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. thi th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. thi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. thi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thee. thee. thi the. the. th vampire mask the son. That's on the school bus. Oh yeah, yeah. He's that kid.

I liked that movie a lot. He's Canadian, as I think most of this guest is. Me, and not actors, I would say. No, I mean, yeah, other than Lacey Chaber. Of Party of Five. She's only referred to as P.O. 5 in my notes. She is not good. She, yeah, there's a, you know what movie she's famous for? Christian Mingle, the movie?

What? Tell me more. There's a movie called Christian Mingle. It's about dating as a Christian. No. And she's in it. It might be great. I've never seen it. It might be the Kramer versus Kramer of Christian Dating. Oh my God. Oh my God. Everybody's favorite divorce movie. Maybe this is the Christian dating movie of that. Call the police because I can't fucking do this anymore.

So like so okay so it's this disparate group of teens getting on a school bus. They're being bust out to the field to get the scarecrow. I don't know why I take so many of them. I don't know why the teachers driving the bus. That seems very impossible. Who at a maximum is four years older than all the students? Yes. Because they are 25.

. They are 25. Yes, and he's 29. Which you know because he's furrowing his brown more than they are and he's maybe wearing khakis. He's responsible for these kids and he does not act like it for a mill a second. Oh God, no. I'm sorry he's not offering them cigarettes. Yeah. He is, and so he's taking them out to this farm to pick up the scarecrow. The farm is owned by his ex-girlfriend, Lacey Chabaire. Kristen Mills. I hate her.

And she sucks from the jump. She sucks a butt so hard that the butt is down into her throat. She, like, she blinks too much. She blinks too much. Yeah, that's her style. I hate that. And she says things that are nonsense. Like, this farm has been sitting empty empty thaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, thiiiiiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown. the. the thrown. the. the the the the the the. the. style. I hate that. And she says things that are nonsense. Like this farm has been sitting empty for 20 years, but there's a fucking full crop of corn.

Who planted it, Kristen? Who planted it? Kristen? Kristen. Who's picking that corn, Kristen? Kristen? Kristen. P-O-5?

Oh, the too. Oh, thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. th. th. the th. th. th. th. thi. the the th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the love interest? Wait, is that a teacher? Yeah. I'm just gonna call him Teach. Teach, that's what he is in my notes. And Truck is the other guy. Okay. So he is a terrible actor. I'm so sorry, I keep cutting you off.

He's definitely, Hanson will get you this far. But this is the end of that line I think for him like this is the outer limits of what he can do. So she shows up and Aaron's like hey I haven't seen you well you look and she goes what dirt poor or broke or something I was like no you don't you look fucking spot on like yeah great your hair is curled your hair's curled you just fucking insulted poor people. Yeah. Oh my god. It's so like, I just have, oh, the dialogue's real good. I was just shitty in my note.

It's like, oh, this is real good. Look at this shit. So she has this like confrontation with the teacher and the truck guy. Because they used to be friends they both dated her and then I don't know neither of them ended up with her so they hate each other it's very confusing well truck guy was dating her first and you know that you know women are property so don't steal my stuff so he's mad at the dude for stealing his stuff his girlfriend this is very gross and I don't want you to tell me about it it

not a woke film. No. So the kids get off the bus and one of them runs away and Kristen goes, Beth and I was like, how do you know her name? You've never met her. You don't know her. She knows all of their names. And they're all like, Kristen, you've never met her.

You don't know her. She's small to, everybody knows each other. No, she just got back. She'd been gone for some period of time. Yeah, these kids were just- No. If you want to hear the word Beth, I don't know, 73 times. I do. Just watch this movie because they yell it a lot.

Beth is the only one worthwhile. She's fucking lunathing. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to. to. to. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th the only one worthwhile. She's fucking lunatic. I wish she would have slit Christmas throat. I would have watched that movie. I kept singing the song Beth by Kiss to myself for watching this. Yeah. And I was like, Missy, is that a good joke? She's like, no, don't do that. I just did it. I just did it. You did it. That, the actress who played Beth too, I swear, later in the movie was a different actress than was on the bus. Is that possible, do you think? She looked much different than she did on the bus.

They pulled all her bangs off her forehead at one point so they could show you that she's got scratches on her head. So I'm going to talk about all those scratches. It might be the fucking hate this scarecrow bullshit. There's no scarecrows! There is, but he's just not even fucking burlap. He's made of... What?

Duities. He's a poop monster. He's not even as good a poop monster as the alien factor. Oh man, I would watch that movie a hundred times a hundred billion times. Stephen, Stephen, Steven, Aunt Ruth. I would watch that so many times. You know what this movie doesn't have? Hmm. Itlantis? No. So sad we had to cut maybe someday out of that episode because it's so good. Oh man I guarantee we could borrow the rights to that song. thrown. to the the the the that that thaten the thaten their their their thaten their their thaten. I that-I that's that. I tho that. I tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho that. that's tho tho that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I the. I thr-a. thr-a. thro. thro thro-a. tho-a' tho-a'a' tho-a' tho-a' tho-a' that. song. I know do you think anyone from Atlantis is alive. Let me borrow that song real quick Atlantis. Atlantis are you listening? Anyway the scratches I think somebody just like meant to order a dozen scratch

prosthetics and then ordered a gross and they were like fuck it we're using them and we're gonna move them around throughout the movie because they move. They move. They were not taking Polaroids at the end. T. T. T. the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I. th. th. I. I. I. I. th. I th. I th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S, th. S, th. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. th. th. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. th. th. I. th. I. th. They were not taking Polaroids at the end of the day so that they could get the continuity correct. There was no continuity supervisor on this film. They just basically put a bunch of scratch stickers on their hands and then slap them right in the face. I mean, I understand that these movies are Roger Corman's school, like we're going to shoot 15 movies today.

Yeah. So you got you guys, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you to go. Well, we don't have a script. Mmm, sorry about you. Scarecrow, go. Right. But I was so furious that there was no scarecrow. What did you think of that monster? There's a few times where the monster's hand is reaching for things, and you could tell it's a practical effect. Yeah.

the th CGI monster. Yeah. He does that like stretchy fingers thing where it's like, k-k-kk. And I do like that. But he does it, I don't know, as many times as the monster from, as creature does, like just sticking his hand up. He does it, like, every time properly, like it was pixelated or something? And I was like, I'm not playing Resident Evil. I would like to get an actual monster here. There's one point where you can sort of see it has like a hole in its head and I was like,

is that supposed to be cool or is that a mistake? Is that like uh those pixels got lost? And we were like, hmm? Have you seen on monster pixels? No? Beth? Stephen, Aunt Ruth! I wish Aunt Ruth was in this. Aunt Ruth, why are you doing autopsies in your home, Aunt Ruth? Aunt Ruth wouldn't stand for this whoreship? No, Aunt Ruth would have walked off this set. Remember when that movie were walking in the fall directly into winter?

Yes. Remember when it would snow sometimes and not other times. It was a better film. Whatever I gave that movie, this is that minus four. Thanks so much for listening. You have to go back and listen to the Alien Factory episode, which you should. And thank you again, Dr. Horror Geek for introducing us to that. What the fuck? This one's on me.

So you said like they were a disparate group of teens. I was having a really hard time telling any of them apart except for Ron Weasley. Like they made a ginger and I was like, okay, I know what that is. Well, there's the bad kids. There's's Ron Weasley, there's helpful guy. I fucking hated helpful guys so much. You don't like it when people are helpful. I just didn't know what he was doing. Like why are you and how did you get detention? How did Maria get detention? There's no explanation of how anybody landed there. I know, oh no, I know how they they got detention. Never mind. They made a funny photoshop of like the coach. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I just thi. I just thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi something and put it on the internet. All of them? They were all friends doing this around a computer? You know, high school where you're just friends with Ron Weasley's

and the nice guy. And Maria, who I hate. And then they're like trying to like shoehorn in tender scenes to make you care, like a helpful guy and Maria sharing a candy bar. Yeah, it's. They's. I they's. And they's. And they's. And they's. And they's. And they's. And they's. And they's. And they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they're they're they're they're they're they're th. And th. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I's. I's. I's th. I's th. I'm th. the. theateateateateat. I'm theateateateateateat. I'm theateateat. I'm theat. Yeah. I don't, it's not tender, it's stupid. And Beth's like my parents are dead and you're like of course your fucking parents are dead. You're in this movie, you know what I mean? They wouldn't let you be in this movie. I have to have to, I was bummed that Nikki died so soon, okay like I don't, I don't like, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't like, I don't, I don't, I don't like, I don't like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't th.. th. th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't know't know't th. I don't know, I don't, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't, I. I do have to, I was bummed that Nicky died so soon because she seemed like she was just having fun. Yeah, she was like pickpocking the teacher and like... She straight up stole his money. He never found out either.

He went to the kid. Did he die? Yeah, I think he died. Yeah. I think he died. Oh, man. Yeah. Why did that happen? I don't know. Can we skip to a head for a second? Yeah. You know the scene with the farmer? Yeah. And he's yelling at him. Yeah.

And then he goes off on his own. And then he starts screaming after the scarecrow monster, like of his mouth. Yeah. That scarecrow monster go up his ass and come out of his mouth. Okay, just want to make sure that's what happened. That's how you get in. In one door out the other. There aren't that many doors to the body, Alan. Just proves that we're just meat tubes. Just tubes of meat. Mmm. We're like a bank nomadic tube. So that actor, since there would be no thecarecrow monster with him for his computer-generated image, What's my motivation here? Scarecrow coming at your mouth? How's it, how's it getting into me? Pooper.

It's gonna, can I go up my shoot and come out of my mouth? Shutes and ladders, baby, up the sute. Nope, up the ladder who made this decision? I don't know. Yeah, I don't understand why the scarecrow is sometimes inside people. It's fine if a scarecrow wants to eat you and feed on your blood. Cool, I'm here for that. Yeah. But why is he sometimes in your body?

And sometimes he's entirely hidden he's entirely hidden in there. What? With all the holes in his head, he's collapsible. Yeah, I don't, like, the mechanic of the scarecrow, I don't understand. See, we get some backstory where they're like, oh, Party of Five's family did this. They, they buried him. You got to bury him. And they buried him, and so now he's pissed and he's killing off the their off off off their their their he's killing off he's killing off he's killing off he's killing he's killing he's killing he's killing he's killing he's killing he's killing he's killing he's killing he's killing he's killing he's killing he's killing he's killing, hey, they buried him. You gotta bury him. And they buried him. And so now he's pissed and he's killing off your family. So he's coming for you. Yet he is

murdering all of these children. And hunting them when they're not anywhere near her. Right. Just for like shit's and giggles. Right. Literal shit's because he goes up people's going in their poopers. There's like a scene where she's running, many scenes. the, the, th. th. th. the, th. th. th. th. the, th. th. th. the, th. th. th. th. the, th. th. th. th. they, th. they, they, they, they's, th. they're, th. th. th. they're, they're, th. th. th. th. th. th. he. he. he. he. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the the the the. the the the the the the the the the they. thee. the thi. thi. thi. He's, th. th. He's, thir poopers. There's like a scene where she's running, many scenes where she's running by herself. Why doesn't he just pop up and get her right then? Like, why is she, how, why is he not there? He can be anywhere. Because she hadn't taken her extra top off yet? That's true. Her tits are propped the towards, too. That is a push up. That is a push. That is a push. I think it's too push-up Ross. She cuts her hand on like a piece of farm equipment and wipes it on cows, so he'll go after the cows.

It works. Why does he think that? Also, fuck you lady. Those cows are just trying to live their goddamn lives. Honestly. Honestly. They're not even meat cows. They're dairy cows.

Yeah, the truck pulls up, and she has a car there, and they like can't get away because, what happens to the bus? Oh, Nikki had the keys to the bus. Nicky sold the keys to the bus so she can get in and steal her cell phone out of it. Only truck guy can't drive the truck. But his truck, it's it's it's it's it's th is, it's th is, it's th is, it's th is, it's thi it's thi, it's thi, it's thrue, it's thrue, it's thrue, it's thrue, it's thrue, it's th' th' th' thrue, it's thrue, it's thr-a' th' th' th' th' the the th' the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha, tha, thi, thi, thrue, thrue, thrue, thrue. thrue. thrue. thrue. true. true. true. true, true, true, true, true, true, true, truc thr oh, I'm parked in. Bitch, it's a farm. I can't imagine there's nowhere to drive your car around. Having had done it, you can drive through corn. Yeah.

She's just like, well, I'm parked in. They couldn't like put the truck in neutral and push it backwards. Like, none of it makes any, it's just such a lazy way to have them all trapped. There are three vehicles there. Lazy is good. Lazy, a lot of this movie is very lazy. I mean, she's literally saying this farm has been abandoned for 20 years, standing in front of a full crop of corn. It had to have been planted.

I've seen Field of Dreams. It's not even burlap. The scarecrow is not even burlap. The Scarecrow's not even Burlap. Like a plastic face. It's the scariest of fabrics as we've established. Yeah. But it's... So there's a movie called Dark Night of the Scarecrow, which is... I don't think that was it. An 80s movie, it's a TV movie, and it's legit scary. It's a creepy Scarecrow, hunt people down. The mentally challenged man yes I don't think that's it there's night of the scarecrow which is also from like the later 80s maybe that's it which is more slashery maybe that that that buy I thought this was newer somehow I don't know I'm really sorry I feel like

it's maybe I dreamed it there's scare crows tell me about that I don't know what that one is, but I just know that it exists. Okay. And there's like 50 movies named Scarecrow, which is... I know, that's why I fucked up so bad. I don't know how I came to rest on this one. I read the synopsis and I was like, yeah, teens, that sounds right. I'm so sorry, I should have watched yeah. Yeah, yeah. So, to pat out this movie, there's a lot of talking. So much talking! But nothing is being set. No, no, they just say stuff like, like, they fall down a hole in the barn.

And wait. What? They fall down there and wait. They're like, well, okay, we're here now. Someone says, it doesn't know we're tr trapped trap trap trap trap th trapped th trapped th trapped th trapped th trapped th trapped th trapped th trapped th trapped th trapped th trapped tha th They fall down there and wait. They're like, well, okay, we're here now. He, someone says, um, it doesn't know we're trapped. How, how does it not know you're trapped? And how do you know it doesn't know your trapped? Why would you say that? Why would you say those words?

How do you know? Like, what? What? What? Like? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? When? When? When? When? W? W? W? W? W? W? W? W? W? W? W? W? W? W? W? W? W? W? W? th? th? th? th? th. th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th............. th. th. th. tha? tha? tha? tha? tha? tha? tha? th. tha? th. th. th. th. th. th all fell into. Which is fucking- The camera shakes before they fall too. It's like the ground is shaking. It's so bad. And Mandy and Chad earlier, or Marcy and Chad, forgive me, Marcy. Uh, established that the floor is creaky because they fall and Marcy gets a really shitty cut at her leg and that's how she gets disemboweled. It's plastic. Oh, it's like cellophane. It's plastic at like six inches above her leg. It's like floating near her. That's what I'm saying.

This, the makeup artist went to one week of Tom Savini's school, learned scratches and was like, nah, I'm good, I got the rest. And, but they're just standing in the hole and they're like, they're just standing in the hole. And this is the camera, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the.. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thethen comes back. And it goes to black, it comes back, and they're all just standing around in the hole, and they're like, well, this is where we are now. This is our lives. And it was just like, come on. And then fucking truck is like, oh, I'm gonna make a grappling hook out of this piece of wood and rope. No, that's not how the world works. th works. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. thi. thi. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And it. And it. And it. And it's is. And it's is. And it's is. And it's. And it's. And it's. And it's. And it's. And it's. And it's. And it's. And it's. And it's. And it's just. And it's just. And th. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this is just. And this is just. And this is just. And this is. But it works, of course it does. Of course it does. He's like, I'll stoo down here and the rest of you can climb up

so I can get up last and I can make sure you all get up safely. Why are you saying that out loud? I don't need you to tell me that. That's not a long. Like, it's almost like they I have the note. Flashback to last week. Once again, my lack of physical fitness award is rubbed in my face by a movie. I'm fucking climbing that rope. Maybe we should practice climbing rips until we're good at it. They didn't show anyone climb out and I was like, they didn't get their awards either. Because that piece of wood was literally this big. Also what president is that fit? You tell me? Obama probably. Oh yeah. Oh, because, because, because, because, because, because, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's that's that's that's that piece that piece that piece that piece that piece that piece that piece that piece that piece that piece that piece that piece that piece that piece that piece that piece that piece that piece that piece that piece that piece that piece that piece that piece that piece that piece that piece that piece that piece that piece that piece that piece that piece that piece that piece that piece that piece that piece that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the th. they. they is they is they is they. they is they. the the the the the the the the th. the the the You tell me. Obama probably.

Oh, yeah. Oh, now we're going to get mean letters about that. Sorry, I said something nice about President Obama. Well, probably Teddy Roosevelt. He was always out there, rough riding. Washington, good chop an arm. He's probably tall, though. It'd be hard to.

It's true. Same with Lincoln. Yeah. He would probably just stand up and walk right out of that hole. Hey guys, he's got his head sticking up above the hole. Wouldn't that be a funnier movie if this movie was entirely old dead presidents being chased by a scarecrow? Who makes it out alive? Lincoln. No, he's got to go. He's sympathetic. Who makes it out alive? Was it Taft that had to be buried in a piano box? Oof. That might be true. I think it's going to be like, I think it's going to be like, um, I think it's going to be

like James A. Garfield makes it out alive because think it's going to be Andrew Jackson, because he's going to throw everybody under the bus. It's a fucking monster. Yeah. Say what you will about Obama, Jackson was a goddamn monster. I don't want to say, forget it, I don't want to get into this. Check our iTunes reviews if you don't know what we're talking about. So, um... I th youruck Brock Shag hair at one point. So, he's so generically gross. Um, so like, Beth manipulates Calvin into, uh, going out to steal the truck. He breaks a window, jumps out to steal the truck because she's like, I don't know, like, maybe I like you. And he's like, oh, the boner. And then he and his boner jump out the window. And he gets scratched to death. Why. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. to. to. the to. the to. to. the the th. the th. th. the th. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. He. th. he. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's. He's. He's. He's. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. th. He. He. th. th. He's th. th. th. th. th. th. He's th. th. th. th. He's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. He's th. don't know like maybe I'd like you and he's like oh my god I have a boner and then he and his boner jump out the window and he gets scratched to death why is Calvin the artist Calvin is yeah Ron

Weasley tell me more when he was drawing the picture did you think it was Maria when she got on the bus I was like oh I was like oh there she is and then the the other girl got on I was like I was like I was like I was like I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th I was th. I was th. I was th. I was like I was like th. I was th. I was like th. I was like th. I was like I was like th. I was like th. I was like th. I was like th. I was like th. I was like th. I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I, there she is. And then the other girl got on, I was like, hmm. Tell me more. Maybe it's 40 of five. I don't know. He's just into bitches with curled hairs and really arched eyebrows. I just can't do this today. I'm sorry. When she's like, oh, you have to bring it to the truck. Oh, you got this. And he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, oh, oh, he, he, oh, he, oh, he, he, oh, he, oh, he, oh, oh, oh, he, he's, oh, oh, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, and jumps out of a window. Yeah.

Like, it was. And then Beth? It was so stupid. Just like, huh! Beth blames party of five for his death. And I was like, you said him to. She's literally like, I'm sorry, I'm too pretty to have caused deaths. What? She just turns on PO5 so fucking fast.

Oh my God. This is your fault you all have got to time. The later when she does her heel turn and the later on. I loved her heel turn. I wanted to watch her movie. Like what in what world is P.O. the truck guy is doing the classic stare into middle distance and call it acting routine. Oh, I shit. Oh, my God. The truck guy is doing the classic stare into middle distance and call it acting routine.

I'm pretty sure that's where the script was being held up for him. He's like squinting, like, can you turn it? Oh, it just says squinting. Cool, go, who, I got this. It seems fucking bat shit that that that that that they they they that they that that they that they they Oh my god, call the police, this is so bad. Why didn't the scarecrow kill them while they were knocked out? I don't know. Oh, wait.

So, so the cops come because they set off an explosion in the farmhouse, right? And when the cops rolled up, I was like, God, I wish this movie would fucking minutes left. So then they end up with, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, they... I's, they's, they's, they's, they's, tho, they's, theyre, tho, theyre, tho, their, theyrerea, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their,, I wish this movie would fucking end right now. And then I looked and there's 50 minutes left. So then they end up with like, I don't know, four to five more explosions throughout the course of the film. The cops do not come back. No, that was the one cup. Like when they, Eddie sets him, Eddie is a truck guy. When he gets, when he sets himself on fire to save, to save, to save, to save, to save, to save, to save, to save, to save, to save, to save, to save, to save, to save, to save, to save, to save, to save, to save, to save, to save, to save, to save, to save, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, the cops, five, which fuck no, no one would ever do. Don't forget that he bequeaths her to Aaron before he sets himself on fire.

She's yours now, take care of her because I'm gonna die. Enjoy my property. God, but like why don't they just wait there because they've just set off an explosion? I bet a fire truck will come. You know what I mean? It is really big. It's a really big fire. Just wait there.

EMTs and like first responders will be there shortly and said they're like, let's run into the woods. Okay, can we get it. We're gonna, Beth gonna go in the woods. We're gonna you Beth Maria Maria Beth to the woods. Party at five. I did. Do you think when you just said EMTs that the listeners are like huh? You think they weren't listening before? She talked us. Is that what's going on? What's going on? Oh also? When there she goes to the to the to the house and she's talking to? to? to to to to to to to to to m? to to to m? M M? to to to to to to to to to to m? the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they? the the the the they? they? to to to to to? to? to? to to to to to to to to to they. M. M. M. M. M. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they What's going on? Oh, also, when there, she goes to the house and she's talking to Murphy? Murphy? Who the fuck is Murphy?

The farmer. Okay. She's like, he's killed six. Please. She's like, he's killed six. I could not figure out how she got to six. I kept counting them. I'm the. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. the, it's either, it's either five or seven, depending on whether you're counting Chad and Marcy. There's not six.

I was like, there's no more than four people in a room at one time. Where did all these other people come? What's going on? And I was like, oh, they just all look like the fucking same person. Like, they same outfit of skinny jeans and a crop jacket and I was like, oh it's bad. Do you see the wardrobe person was like, that's my signature? This is my look.

It's my, my, your farm? You're farm people. I say we give her to it. I say we do too. Why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, they they they they they they they they they they they they they th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. tho, th. tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. they's, they's, thea. they're, they're thea. the. It's, the. I say we do too. Why didn't they sacrifice her to the scarecrow? If that teacher had died, they could have sacrificed her to the scarecrow. Everything would have been fine. He's hanging on for some old love. No. She left you, feed her to the scarecrow. Oh my god. You're Teach is a bad actor. He sucks. He sucks as an actor and his character sucks.

Also, during the scene with the farmer, he's like in the barn or something and there's like a piece of farm equipment that has a bunch of spikes on it. And I was like, no way he doesn't fall into those spikes. And then I was like, oh, they didn't know how to do that. They literally literally didn't literally didn't literally didn't literally didn't literally didn't literally didn't literally literally literally literally literally literally literally literally literally literally literally literally literally literally literally literally literally literally literally literally literally literally literally literally literally literally literally. They literally didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't. Then I was like, oh, they didn't know how to do that. They literally didn't have the skills to do it. My next note says, wow. He didn't. A hand came out of his mouth. Wow. Wow. So the last thing that man tasted was his own butt. Yeah. I think that's the last thing we all taste, isn't it? Your own be whole? Beho. Bholl. Fuhl. Fuck those teeth!

Behold. I have a note, Beth bits? Don't know what that's, oh that's right, she got pulled into the combine or whatever. She gets pulled in and you see she goes by the teacher and she's being dragged so slowly and he like, he like, lightly leans towards her and misses and is like you know she was talking shit on his girlfriend he just got her he got her from trucks will let her help help help help someone send help and to Aaron I give party of five why is is it your lawyer? Why is that your lawyer?

I'm reading the will. Oh, you're reading the will. I'm sorry. Yana. Thank you all for joining me today for the Reading to Trucks Will. Oh my God. But they also just keep doing shit where they're like, let's run off and leave Maria. Why don't leave Maria? Help. Help. And they're clearly stronger than the scarecrow because they muscle it a whole bunch of times. He's not that strong.

They just like grapple him. No. I don't know why. I don't know what he wants. I don't know what he's doing. He's just scratching them. He's just like a mad kitty that you tried to rub his belly. He'll let you do it for a little while, little bunch. And like Maria is very upset about what's happening to Kristen. You don't know her. You have never met her. She's just so compassionate. And like, like, so. I hate this. I hate this.

And like, so they were doing Saturday detention or whatever. It's morning when they get on that bus. It's nighttime. They have not returned. There would be a fucking manhunt for that many missing teenagers and a teacher. Have you met those kids? No, Aunt Diane is going to maybe call the cops. But like, Maria's parents and Devon's parents are going to look. Do you want to hear my ultimate shitty note?

Or I'm just being catty as fuck? Tell me, tell me, tell me. They keep talking about how they need to bury the monster. And I say, maybe you could talk the monster to death, or buried under atrocious dialogue. Oh God, they should have. They should have just been, it just like, it was in a toilet tank of fucking word shit. It should have got up somebody's ass and come out their mouth and go, you know what, I can't do this anymore. You guys are so fucking excruciating. I have to leave. I'm going to go be in the spa in to Wazamo. I'll see you guys later. I don't know what that means and it sounds

better than this. I have the note of Captain Charles y'all. Captain Charles? I miss my Captain Charles y'all? Who was Captain Charles? I don't know. I've never heard that name in my life. I think I was just losing my fucking mind while watching this. Yeah. Oh god no no this is what it was I'm sorry let me read the full note. I'll meet you at the lifeboats. That's I meet you at the crossroads. I got you. I miss my captain Charles. Yeah that was my full joke. That's pretty good. I wish I hadn't already told you my first of the month story. Oh man. But they also they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I'm the. I'm the. I the. I the. I th of the month story. Oh man. But they also say things like, let's meet at the river. The thing about rivers is they are long. You could meet anywhere.

So I didn't hear them say, let's meet at the river. She says it four times. I think I just zoned out. I'm sorry, I just yelled at you. It's okay. Okay. When they walk out of the woods and they're on the beach, I yelled, what the fuck is going on? I don't know. Our boat graveyard's a real thing.

Do they just pile up trash boats in places and then have a man guarding them? Is that a real thing? Like, there was a fucking gateway clipper there? Yeah, there was. Well, like, why don't they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they? they? they? they? they? they th. th. tho. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. the. the. the. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. there? Yeah, there was. Well, like, why don't they, why, what is that? What, I don't understand? They just let them go. Let's let them, bye.

Just let them rust into the world. I remember driving on the Jersey turnpike and seeing a gateway clipper on the side of their highway. Yeah. It wasn't all the the th Empress. Also all of our non-Pittsburg listeners, which are many, are like, what is Gateway Clipper? Stop saying it. They're giggling it. So I have this, all these notes that say, Devon tackle the scarecrow off the boat. Devon did this, Devon did this. Devon's dead. And she calls the guy, Aaron. I was like, oh fuck his nameuck it was Devin this all time. Devin is helpful guy. Yeah. They behead a ghostly scarecrow. Why? I don't know. It comes back. He says, he says, it's head up and comes back. He says, let's get in

the water where it can't get us. What makes you think that? No, because your butt hole gets so ti in the water. Oh it's sure, tied tied tied tied tied tied tied tight tight tight tight tight tight tight tight tight tight tight tight tight tight tight tight. Tight. Tight. Tight. Tigh. Tigh. Tigh. Theat. their. their. their. their. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. heat. their. He's. He's their. He's their. He's their. He's their. He's their. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's t. He's t. It's t. It's t. It's. It's t. It's t. It's t. It's. It's t. It's. It's t. It's. It's.'t swim. You'll have to go, we'll have to split up. You'll have to go and leave me here. And I said, if there are rivers, there are bridges. And she's like, what about the bridge? And he's like, oh, it's too far. And I was like, it's just so fucking terrible and lazy. Why would they not be walking next to each other? Why would he be behind her? Like, how are there 13 minutes left? I want to die. Please, scarecrow just come and take me.

I have no memory of writing then. At some point, she asked Aaron to give her a sign? Yes, give me a sign. Give me a sign. To which I have the note, are you there, Aaron? It's me party party the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thathea, tha, th. that, that, that, th. th. th. th. th. tha, tha, tha, tha, tho, tha, th. th. th. tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, th. th. th. th. th. I, th. I, th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tha. toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. tha. It's me, Party of Five. Who is losing my fucking mind? It's just not. I'm gonna, she screams I'm gonna bury you forever. That was the idea, right?

That was the idea? You don't know how long your burying skills are gonna keep a thing to ask. I'm gonna bury you forever is the worst attack line. It really is. She starts to fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire. the fire. the fire. the fire. the fire. I. I. I. I. I the the the the the the the the the this. I'm this. I'm this. I'm this. I this. I this. I this. I this. I this. I this. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the this. I this. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. th worst attack line. It really is. It really is. She starts a fire. Lights the boat on fire. This is after the scarecrow has burst through him, too.

Hiding inside of Aaron. He's not that big a man. It is a big scarecrow. You know, the scarecrow's been inside me this whole time. The scarecrow was you all along. Like, what? It was, what, what, what, what, the the the th is, th is, th is, th is, th is, th is, th is, thu, thu, thus, the thi, the thi, the thi, the thi, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho, is, is, is, is, is. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, was, was, was, was thi, was thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thia. thia. thia. the the thia. the the thia. thia. threcrow. I don't even want to call it that. It's, help. Can't even like pick my face up. The last note I have, oh no, that is not the last note I have.

Oh, no, that is not the last note I have. It says, now you have no boyfriends. That's why she had to do Christian Mingle. No boyfriends. Started with two, ended with none. Oh my God. She gets off the boat just before it blows up. Good for her. I fucking don't care.

I just don't care. The movie ends with... How did he even get up there onto the boat? He had tackled it into the water where it can't get you. That's an absurd thing to think! Help! Maybe butt holes are like teleporters for these things and they can just jump from butto to butt hole.

It's insane. How did he get up onto the boat deck? The movie was originally called Butthole Crow, but it just didn't work out or scare butthole. I think you mean to say butthole. So the movie ends with somebody listening to a radio talking about the festival is still going on. Yeah, it's like bring your kids down. It'll be fun. I bet. I bet it will be fun. But is the scarecrow going to get them or does it not? I mean, like where is she? is she going? Is she going to... Now, the scarecrow's dead, she killed it.

How did she kill it? She blowed the boat up. But he's been blown up before. Twice, I think. She's going to bury him forever, though, in her butt hole. Oh, it's like your feelings. You just mash them down into the pit of your stomach until you don't feel them anymore. But you do that with that with that with that with that with that with that with that with said it so much, you lost the teas.

I think I always say but-hole, because I've never noticed it before, and now I'm a little bit embarrassed. But-hole, that doesn't sound right to me, but-hole. No, it's smoother. It's easier to say, for sure. Buh. I'm right. I'm handy to incorporate.

I'm right. Dear Webster's Dictionary. But-hole. Now you have no boyfriends. I mean, this is a fucking, this is a travesty. Scarecrow 2013. I'm so sorry. Saffy.

I'm a thi- I'm a th I'm Safari. I'm Safari. I'm an internet explorer that you don't want to use anymore. Help, I'm Firefox, I'm butthole. Our next t-shirt is just gonna say, help, I'm Firefox, I'm butthole. Is there an apostrophe? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get to it, Justin. No, that's too mean even for him. It's too much.

Is it the Firefox logo showing you it's bowl? Oh no, help. I'm Firefox. I'm Boll. This is so, so, so bad. I think this movie broke us. I think this movie broke us. Mm-hmm.

I recently said a movie we did was the worst movie I've ever seen. What was it? I don't even remember now. Who knows? What do we do? Ah, Katie. Alan. Do you want to write this thing? No? Okay.

Okay, you go first. First last week. Um, Okay, you go first. First last week. Um, sorry, Emily? Emily. Did I, is the problem that I didn't even rate? What was the movie that was a problem? No, we just gave it like, uh, oh, I can't remember what movie that was, but we gave it like, it didn't warrant anything.

Oh, Susperea. Oh, that's right. That might be the worst movie we've ever seen. I don't know if I even gave it a rating. We gave it X amount of something from somebody. I gave it a tiny baby hands. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. This movie is a zero butthole scarecrows. Yeah, this is, I mean, I've never seen any of these sci-fi movies, so this is my first time.

Not a good showing. I don't think I'm going to follow up with the shark natu. I'm sure this is for somebody. No. No. Like, I don't really smoke weed. I'm wondering if I got like soups high no No, okay did my best

Could not smoke this one away? I did my best I couldn't smoke this film away Katie please give me a rating on this film or on my singing whatever you know your singing is a sex No, you're just no, this is just it's reprehensible. It's party of negative five, I guess. It's all I can do. That's good. Thank you. That's good. No, it's not that great. It's pretty good. It's so unbelievably bad. If you had to choose between watching this again or the item again, what would you choose? Uh, this. Yeah, I think there's no puppet sex scene in this movie. Oh, I see, I don't think I saw that far.

Yeah, no, you didn't get that far. Also, this movie like looks good. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's, it's, it's a TV. Yeah, I don't It's like, I guess that's the only nice thing I have to say about this movie. You can see it. Yeah. Yeah.

Curling iron's gone wild. Dialogue is terrible. Truck's not bad to look at. No, I mean, you could look it. I mean, it's just. It literally, they just look like, they just look like, like, if you had a machine that was like a, you know, those a Plato Barbershop machines where you just like squeeze them and the hair comes out. Yes, yes. I feel like there's like, just this machine that you squeeze and CW actors just come pouring out of it. I don't even know if it's a station anymore.

I don't think it's a station anymore. Katie. Alan. a little place that you like to call mail bag? I think you call it mail bag. Mailbag! So these are new reviews on podcast or public. Bblah blah. This one is from Test underscore Tube underscore Muppet, underscore rabies. If you, it's five stars. If you like horror movies and don't take them too seriously, then this is the podcast for you. Katie and Allen, spelled wrong, are funny as they try to make sense of the more challenging

and poorly written horror movies that we all love. Test underscore tube, muppet, underscore rabies. I appreciate you calling them challenging. I think that's a really you for the review and thank you for your excellent name. Test Tube Muppet Rabies. What does it mean? What does it mean? I feel like they're a band I would have listened to in the 90s. For sure.

Then we also got a review from Skyrim Runner, five stars. I listen to thousands of hours of podcasts while I run. Guy, I get it. You run a lot. You're so fit. And where will ambulance is one of my all-time favorites. Way better than my favorite murder. Babb-ba-blah. Better researched funnier and the hosts of where will fambulence are way hotter. Thank you Skyroom Runner. I am better looking than them. As is Alan. That's a weird dig though. I mean, I'll take being hotter than somebody who sucks. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Yeah. Thank you, Skyroom Runner. I think you also heard from Skyroom Runner on another platform. We did. Skyrower got on our email. Excuse me, it's called email. I broke for a second this movie.

You just thought about Scarecropa hole. I have this movie. You just thought about scarecrow, behold. I have some bad news for you. What's that? Skyroom runner runs no more. Oh no, what's he's going to have to change his name? I have to get surgery on my now quite blown out knee. My running deathbed request is that you review Manos hands of fate. The movie that broke MSD 3K. Thanks again for producing such an awesome content. Way better than my favorite murder, really going at them. Thank you. Well you know what we went at them and I appreciate, we've had fans come to our, to say they'll have our backs and I appreciate that because they're going to descend on us.

Um, we're not gonna do that though, sorry. Because Mr. Science Theater thi. It's like, that's like sacred ground. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's sacred ground, yeah. But thank you for your email and for your review. Love Bill is out the email end. And then I would like to read you the third. Holy smokes. Yeah, they've been at it. We're blowing up on podcast republic? This is a pod this, this user's name is a podcast republic. Oh, five stars. What? What? What? That's? What? What? That's? What? that's? that's? that's? that's? that's? that's? that's? that's? that's? that's? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? th? th? thi? thi? thi? th. th. thi? thi? thi? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? th. th. th. th. thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? th it. Thank you for reviewing us there.

I will always see them because this is my app. I don't own it. I just use it. This is my app. It's a my app. We did get a review on iTunes. If I can read that for you quickly, you'll go fast. I like saying all these nice things that people that people they? They've never seen us. They'll say with the live show. But those are mostly people we knew.

Yeah, yeah, they better think I'm hot. Those people I know better think I'm hot. You think I'm hot? You think I'm hot? Hot or not? I like should have gotten my hair cut. You know what? Why?

I don't know. thinking while we were recording. I know it's so distracting. Oh, look at the crone out. Why didn't you just fucking get a cut? It's like not even curling, right? This is from Enkett on iTunes. Five stars, love this podcast. Will I ever watch all the movies covered by this podcast? No. And you shouldn't. Hard no. A very wise choice on get. on Kett. But I love listening to Alan, spelled wrong, and Katie, we tell the movies. Love this podcast, love them, keep it going. Love you too, Onkett. Thank you so much.

This is really nice, guys. Everyone spells Alan wrong, so they don't feel bad. There's just too many ways to spell that goddame name. I mean if we're going to get down to it, my parents spelled it wrong. They should have to be And who's after your grandpa? Yeah. Yeah. Well, they all, your ancestors fucked up. I'm my own grandpa. That's gross. Is it?

I don't know. Should we do another movie? Should we cleanse our palates of this one? I think so. Okay, what do you want to do? Are you ready to talk about, let's just put our cards on the ta. to too too too too too too too too too too too too too two frogs. It's on Amazon Prime. Oh my God. If you guys seen the movie Frogs, I love it. I'm just so excited. Spoilers, it's so good. It's not. Who do you see his

wiener? It threw his pants. Walked into a bar once that was playing frogs. He bounced you right out. As soon as I saw like a second of Samuel and I went, oh fuck they're playing frogs. Yes. I got so excited. What bar was playing frogs? The brilla box? Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, we're going to do frogs. I'm so excited. You should be.

It's going to be good. It's better than scarecrow. Slightly. Slightly. It only has one buttle scarecrow in it. You can find us on the internet, leave us a review, we will read your review, send us emails at Werylph Ambulance at Gmail.com, I will check. Get well soon, Skyroom Runner. Yeah, I hope you're... You'll get back to running. You'll try to...

Yeah, it means something to, it matters to you. You'll get back. We have the technology and the know when you're going, and we'll start like slipping in like inspirational things to get you running. It'll just be the Rocky theme song, because we don't really have much inspirational to say. Yeah, but we, well, it'll just be us singing it. Yeah, because we can't afford it.

Bam, babba, ba, ba, ba, bah. Thanks for listening to another episode of Wherewell Fanbounds. Buh, bye. Bye-bye! Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Buh-bye, bye-bye. Can we get sued for this? Probably. Yeah, it stops. Oh