Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 247- Piranha (1978)

Episode Date: September 23, 2019

In this week's episode, we're discussing another film from the very specific horror sub-genre called Movies that Rip Off Jaws. This one is from 1978-- "Piranha." Special topics for your consideration include: the fact that this movie stars a dog named Jack Cardwell, extremely weird running and diving, deciding that you're someone's mom just because you hooked up with their dad, Lisa Left Eye Lopes, pluralizing "piranha" and again, because it bears repeating: this movie stars a dog named Jack Cardwell. You like Jaws ripoffs? Lucky for you, we've covered two of them! Check out Episode 41- "L'Ultimo Squalo (The Last Shark)" and Episode 193- "Orca." And because you love those Jaws ripoffs so much, we're doing another one next week! We'll be discussing the 1976 film "Grizzly" because why wouldn't we? Please also go check our our YouTube companion episode for this week, in which we play a game, yell about Jaws and do a Mailbag! While you're at it, please subscribe to our channel--you can find it here: https://www.youtube.com/c/werewolfambulance Have you seen this one? What did you think? Let us know your thoughts at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Twitter @werebulance or on Instagram @werewolfambulance. You can also email us for our segment "MAILBAG!" at [e-mail] and if you're feeling super generous, leave us a rating and a review on Apple podcasts or wherever you can. Or hey, just tell a friend about us. Thank you for helping us continue to grow.  Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast. 

Hey Katie. Do you want to hear the dumbest thought that I had during this movie? I would love to. It's a dumb thought because I think it's only for me. Okay. This movie star is one Keenan Wyn. He's the old guy with a white beard. Okay. He is the son of Edwin, the comedian from like the 40s.

Okay. And I got real jazz because that guy's in one of my favorite Twilight Zone episodes. What? What? His dad? His dad? Oh boy. I got real excited because some guy's dad is a Twilight's own episode that I like. Oh boy. I mean, of this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I was th. I was th. I was thiar is thiare. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was is th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was th. I was th. I was the. I was the. I was the. I was the. I was thea. I was thean. I was thean. I was thean. I was. I was. I was. I was thean. I was. I was. I was thea. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I got real excited because some guy's dad is a Twilight Zone episode that I like. Oh boy. I mean of this things about this film to get excited about, there are few. I have a question for you. Yeah. Am I a human Werther's original?

Oh yeah, oh yeah. Yeah. Walking, walking, talking, Wother's original. When I gain sentience, will I just be in an old man's pocket? A pocket full of Werther's Originals? You're rallying around the family? Oh, that would be really nice. Yeah, that would be really nice. Did you ever have an old man figure in your life who ate Werther's originals? Because I sure didn't. No. The only, like, thing I can th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, a a th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A thi. A th. A th. A thi. A thi. Like, a th thi. Like, like, like,. No, the only like thing I can think of

close to that is I had a like a great uncle who had always had those white mints that had like liquid in the center. What? No. No. Yeah. My grandfather kept a jar of salted, roasted peanuts behind his favorite chair and you could like get some peanuts when you needed them. That's pretty dope. It was much better than where there's originals or way to mince with liquid in the middle, presumably. It's more like a jelly that a liquid.

I do not know what you're talking about. That's some old-timey shit. Yeah. Yeah, if that guy was a great uncle. He was probably born before the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was was that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. I was that th. I was that that th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. th. I was th. I was th. I was th. the turn of the last century. Yeah, that could well be. Yeah, I'm old. So we're here to talk about Purana, 1978. I mean, what the fuck? I thought you were excited when I emailed you. I was. And I thought I had seen this movie, and I guess I never saw this movie, and I watched it and I was like, oh what are you? What? Had you seen Farana 3D? I don't think I have no. Should I? It's got Adam Scott and Elizabeth's shoe in it.

Oh, those are both people that I like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, maybe I will. It's real ridiculous. I don't have, I guess I have 3D glasses for my bloody, for the my bloody, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the the the the th.. the the the th. the th. the, the, th. Yeah, the, the, the, the, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I, th. th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I the, th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I th. I th. I th. I. It's real ridiculous. I don't have, I guess I, I guess I have 3D glasses from my bloody, for the my bloody Valentine 3D DVD that I own. Yeah, why? I don't know. I mean it's a thousand percent bloodier than this movie. Okay, that's something. Well, this movie basically, the question this movie I feel asked itself was, the movie, Baby Parana watched Jaws and said to itself, What's scarier than blood in the water? Nothing, nothing is scarier than blood in the water, so just do that for an entire movie, and that will be a scary movie. No, no, no, no, no, baby Paranah, it will not. No, no, no, no, baby piranha, it will not. No, no, no, grow up to be better.

I think that's it. I think that's all we have to say. Yeah, I'm done. Ugh. Baby, Parana. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Help. So this movie, fun fact. Yeah. is Stephen Spielberg's favorite Jaws ripoff.

Not L'Ultimal Squal? That one- That one wasn't allowed in America. Because it was so close to Jaws, right? But the shark couldn't even close its mouth. Remember, it was just all swimming around with this mouth all gaping open like a fucking idiot? It would just bob up out of the water. Oh God, the movie. I love it.

Remember they had like a man in a closet wearing like an American flag outfit outside and they would open the closet and there was just a man in an American flag outfit inside? What was that about? Oh man, it's such a better movie than this. What did I give that movie because I want to give this movie half of it? Call Emily. You should really get that scattergraph printed and just like mounted on the wall. Yeah, yeah. Get a laminated. Yeah. I love a laminate. Everybody does. Who doesn't love to laminate? So much like Jaws, this movie starts off with people sneaking around. Always a military test site, always teens, right? That's a

horror movie made right there for you. Done and done. Not on the map, not on the map. If you find a caged in swimming pool-esque body of water, you just dive it into that? No, I know. Just go in topless after you throw your dude in fully clothed? In a military test site where there is power on. Uh-huh. Yeah, no, no, no, no. You? No. No. Boob already though. Yeah. Yeah, boob before the opening credits. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, man, the opening credits. This are so good. I think the best part of this movie is the word piranha, the the the title, the tip, tip, the tip, tip, tip, tip, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tip, tip, to, to, to, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, toge, tip, thi, thi, the opening credits are so good. I think the best part of this movie is the word piranha, the title going into the blood. I think that is the only good part of this movie. Not the only good part, but it is the best part. It's the most perfectly executed thing in this movie.

Which then goes into someone playing the Jaws video game, or like arcade game. It's funny. Is it? it the thethink it is. You can't just do that, you know, you can't just do that. I feel like Joe Dante can. But could he at this point? He was sure because he was like, who fucking cares? No one's going to see this fucking movie? Although it did really well. Yeah. It's him and John Sales who they did the howling together. Right. A great film. Yeah John Sales went on to do to see to do to do to do like to do like, to do like, to do like, to do like, to do like, to do like, the to do like, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, you th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th the the, you th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th, you th, you th, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th. You th. You th. You th. You're, the. You know, the. thi. thi. the. the. the. thi. the. the. the. You can the., they did the Howling Together. Right. A great film. Yeah, John Sales went on to do like real movies. Did he? So John Dante did, too.

He did Gremlins and stuff. Yeah, that guy wrote a bunch of like non-genre films and stuff. Wow, I didn't know there were other movies. Except the love actually, and over the top. Roadhouse, please. Uh-huh, uh-huh, was the racing movie? Days of Thunder! Oh my god, don't roll your eyes at me. I saw you, I'm looking at you.

I didn't not roll. You rolled your eyes in my direction. Oh man. Um, so yeah, they both get eaten by something. Who cares? Where were their bones when the thing got drained? I don't know. They were just, fucking stupid.

But they were like, there was like the, uh, wouldn't their bones? Wouldn't their bones be down here? And then they're like, well, unless something ate them? Why, what's that? What is this discerning palette of this carnivorous fish? I just love human bones. Yeah, oh, oh, oh, this is a spaniel. Somebody out there just got real mad

because people hate it when I make that sound. Somehow, well, no, I was't like the mouth feel of dog bones. It's just doesn't have the umami. So, we see Dick Miller because this is a Joe Dante movie. He is now officially our most appeared actor. I'm into that. Yeah. I like him. He's charismatic. He's great. And he plays like, he's supposed to be Texan in this movie. It's like, no, dog. It's cool. It's like, no, dog. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the, It's. the, the the. the, It's. the. the. the. the. It's. the. the. thehe. He's like, he. He's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, the he. He's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he. He's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's like, he. He's like, he. He's like, he. He's like, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the t. He's t. He's t. He's to tou. He's to. It's to. It's like to. It's like to. It's like to. It's like to. It's like t esplanada on the north shore they want to build? No. It's like a lagoon, a lagoon, a lagoon, say it. Lagoon. Lagoon. Developers are working on building a lagoon on the north side that will be, you can

like swim in in the summer and then it'll freeze over and you can ice skate it on the winter. Yeah. Like on some like brown site or something? I think over like past the science center and the casino you know. Yeah, yeah. The science center and the casino are two cultural landmarks of the north side. It's right fast all of the sports stadium. Yeah, there's gonna be like an enormous ferris wheel, like a 200- foot ferris wheel. Yeah. Weird. Yeah. Nothing else the city could do with that money. No. Well it's not the city it's developers man they can build whatever they want. It's true. Esplanada. And that's just a little bit of Pittsburgh current events for you. I like that because I feel like

that was just pure honest just us talking yeah really appreciated that. Yeah so Dick Miller is this Texan developer. Yeah his name is like Tex-Texon it's something literally like that. Hi I'm Yehah and it's just like oh it's fucking absurd. He's one of the main characters and then there's the alcoholic guy. Okay, yeah. I have a question about that guy. I don't know that I have any answers. I'm gonna try.

It's a do you think? Okay. Do you think that they had to sort of back into the story that he was an alcoholic in order to explain why he runs so the the the the the thuuuuuuuans the the the the the the the thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thi thi thi. an alcoholic in order to explain why he runs so funny, because he runs so funny. He literally, it looked like he'd never run before in his life. He looked like a toddler learning to walk, like arms flailing, feet kicking in all directions,

totally inefficient. Do you think they were like, oh fuck? Why did anyone ask Brian to run first? Cut. Brian, can I see who over here for a second? Is that the way you're always going to run? What do you mean? Is that how you run? This is running? Brian's an alcoholic now? Yes, I honestly think that's what happened. Just give him drunk legs, it'll be fine. Just have liquor and cornmeal delivered to his home earlier in the film. That ought to set the stage. By an old man pulling a wagon and like white, pointy shoes of this dirt

pack. I know, I know. I love Keenan Wind so much. That man was like one step from being a St. Bernard with like a like a barrel around its neck. I mean it's just terrible. But I love that he's the functional alcoholic of the two of them. Yeah. Because he's also just pounding booze. Yeah. Oh man. I also love the idea of the alcoholic that loves a variety. I'm gonna need my gin. I'm gonna need my whiskey. Is he making Long Island ice teas or something? I feel like tequila was a real wildcard. Yeah. I feel like if you're a tequila drinker, you're an alcoholic tequila drinker, you're not making room for gin. It's not your wheelhouse.

Wednesdays or gin days. It's how Brian rolls. Yeah. I have no idea what that character's name actually is. You're talking about Paul Grogan. No I'm not. Played by Bradford Dillman. Oh, worse.

His love interest is Maggie McCowan. She is so presumptuous. She's like, drive me there, we're going there right now. I love you. She's also walking with that hatchet pointed up towards her. Did you notice that? Stressing me out so fucking bad. She is an insurance investigator?

She looks for missing people. But to get money to fucking, what was that guy? Oh, Richard Deacon, Earl Lyon. The actor that she is like, owes them, she has to find, he's fronting her. He's the old guy with the glasses that's like seeing her off. And he's running some like insurance company. You don't get insurance money if somebody goes missing, do you? I don't know.

I don't, or something, he was making money somehow off these missing kids. Maybe he runs a detective agency? I couldn't figure out their fucking relationship. Why are we thinking about this? It's what we do! Oh, I know. What a shame. So, so they, they, she and Drunky Brian get to the, the military test site. They break in. My favorite character shows up. Richard Hoke?

No, the lizard on two legs. Oh, yeah. That was a little creature was unexpected. What is he? Why is he there? And why isn't he in the rest of the movie? I don't know. I wanted him to show up like at the end and be like, I got this. Yeah, he didn't. That was it.

Oh, man. It was so good. Yeah. military test site and they are unconcerned. Did you love that she picked it up, smelled it and went, it's warm. That's how you tell things are warm, right? You're nice? Your nose? Hot. It has an aroma of heat. So stupid I loved it. Oh no. Oh the special effects in this movie were done by Rob Boteen who did the transformation the thing special effects and... the special effects in this movie were done by Rob Boatine, who did the transformation in the howling, and the Thing special effects. A lot of work. Yeah, yeah.

Didn't have a lot of money in this movie. Oh no. But I just, I love, I love the like throwaway lizard on two legs and the like weird eel thing that's staring at them. Yeah. It's just nice, just a little atmospheric. Yeah. Yeah. She drains the pool. Why?

She's looking for them bones. She's got for them bones. Did she know there were bones in there before? No, she wanted to drain the pool She doesn't ask where it drains. Nope. Or what's in it? She just does it. No, and they beat the shit out of Robert Hoke. Yeah. Just beat the shit out of him. Yeah. He was in invasion of the body snatchers. Yeah. He's the guy on the street that runs up to them. I thought that was Kevin, Kevin, yeah. That's Kevin, yeah. That's a that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. the that. the that the the that the that the that the the the that that the that's that's that's the that's the the the the that's the that's the the shit. the shit. the shit. the shit. the shit. the shit. the shit. the shit. the shit. the shit. the shit. the shit. the shit. the shit. the shit. the shit. the shit. Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, that. that. that. that. that's that's that. the that's the th. that's that's th. that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. the the the the the the the the the th. the the th. He's in that one house scene with the kid who conjures all the weird stuff up. Exciting Dick Miller for most popular Morrelph Ambulance. They literally kicked the shit out of him.

She's like beating him with a rock. Yeah, and then they just like put him on a raft, I think. The raft. Oh yeah, me and my kid were reading Huck Finn so we made this fucking raft. Oh yeah, me and my kid were reading Huck Finn, so we made this fucking raft. And then we're supposed to care about his kid. Oh, Susie? I love her. Something is wrong with Susie.

Suzy's not right in the head. She just didn't want to get on that water. She's not what my concern about Susie is. So they put him on a raft. And he wakes up and he wakes up and is like, th up and is like, th up and is like, th up and is like, th up and is like, th up and is like, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the they, thi, thi, th. they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. I, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi and is like, hey guys, let me tell you a story. Like, I'd be like you fucking, I will kill you. I love that there's a redemption arc for him. I know, I know, I know. They like, oh my god. They also just like put him in the spare bedroom, like what are you going to do with this

man you beat in your spare bed? Like what's the plan? thap plan, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, Plan, plan, plan, no, no, no, we don't have a plan. I'm just going to drain this pool and see where this goes. Honestly. And then I'm going to fuck this dude that I just met. Yeah, after neb-neb-nebbing about his destroyed marriage. Also, but though, you have to admire him drinking out of like his canteen in his house. Like he's refilling it at his sink and then sitting down and drinking it. Like use a glass, you fucking disgusto. He's just dedicated to that canteen life. Yeah.

Okay, this is the next note that I have is, what are these people saying? Ha ha ha ha ha ha. She's DTF on VFC, very fucking confused. Yeah, that is VFC for sure. She just sits down next home and is like, he's like, oh yeah, I'm just trying to get warm into this blank. She's like, I've been trying to get out of that blanket for 20 minutes. I was like, what? Oh, why? Have you? Have you? Have you seen him run?

Oh, man. So, they're going down the river on the raft, we see Keenan Wind with his legs in the water and the piranhas take his legs off, but we don't see his legless body. We just see him like behind a tree, which I fucking loved. Yeah. They also have a child with them that they got from...

From the canoe. From the canoe. Where does that child go? They get on land, they run, the child is gone. We never see him again. I'm gonna peace out, guys. Why did they even have him? I can't be seeing with a dude runs like that.

I can't be notice him running off screen. I love that they find Keenan Wadden, and they're just like, I'm gonna bury him. No, you gotta call somebody. Right. Somebody. Right. A mortician, an ambulance, someone. A police, something, something.

Oh, man. I also like that everyone somehow knows that the plural of piranha is piran.. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they. I they. I they. I they. I they. I they. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. thi. th. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I they they they they they they th. I also like that everyone somehow knows that the plural of piranha is piranha. I'm surprised by that. I would have thought it was piranas and I am surprised that they all know. Well they were very popular in the 70s. Really? Parana, they were a big deal. Okay. I don't know. I'm just. No, sure, no, I mean... I mean... I mean... I mean... So, Kevin McCarthy dies saving that kid. Yeah.

For such a stupid reason, because we don't care about the kid and we never see him again. Also, like, when the piranha attack, they're obviously just a bunch of fish on a stick. Yeah. And when they show that underwater shot of them swimming that they show, I don't know, eight times, it's just a shower curtain I think. It's the same shot over and over too. It literally looks like a fish-printed shower curtain. I love it when they're far away and they're just black specks coming towards. Oh, it's so fucking funny. No, it's not though. It's sad and it makes me sad. When a very popular character that we've come upon recently was terrible 911 operator.

Yeah. People have really responded well to that a lot of people have been reaching out saying they really loved that character that we did. Oh good. And I feel like this this movie introduces us to terrible telephone operator. Yeah, because she calls the operator and she's like, I don't know, look it up at a phone book. Yeah, right. What is your job? I'm sorry man what did you need? I hate a phone number? I'm not really sure sure sure th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that that that that that that that that that that that that's that that that that that that that that that that that that th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. I th. I th. I th. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that. I'm sorry man what did you need I hate a phone number hmm I'm not a not really sure where to get that. You're like do you know the number for whatever no do you? I really wanted to hear the other side of that conversation. I know. Look it up in a phone book. That's funny. That is funny.

Oh, we forgot to mention we meet Barbara Steele. Look it up in a phone book! That's funny. That is funny. Oh, we forgot to mention we meet Barbara Steele in this movie. I like her pronouncing piranha like as though a Brazilian word, like piranha. Where did that Y come from? Well, I mean, that's in if it were Portuguese, I think that's how you'd pronounce. Oh, really? I think so how you'd pretty. Oh, really? I think so, like Ronaldine-Hia. Oh, okay.

Perania. But Barbara Steele, you would know from, Black Sunday. Black Sunday. And a bunch of like Mario Bavo weird Italian movies, and she's also in Felinies 8. And a half mile. She plays the Brittany Murphy character. Copyright, copyright, copyright. That has not been done. Melini's 8.5 mile. I've never seen either of those movies,

so I'm just gonna make a movie based on what I think those are. I can't believe you've never seen a mile. I know, I know, I know, I love Brittany Murphy. Get ready for April's April Fool's when we do eight miles. Oh man, I really want to do weekend of Bernies too. Although I think that's a horror movie, it's about zombies. Sure. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. So Barbara Steele is working with the military to dissuade people to dissu this is a problem. I'm unclear on what her role is. Just to Barbara steal it up. To say things like fish genetics is a very small field. I believe you, Babs. I love that her character was fucking Kevin McCarthy's character. Let's just say we were more than friends. They don't need to know that.

Who cares who raw dogged you in the fish genetics world? Not them. New theory. Yeah. Walking lizard is their baby. Oh fish genetics. I mean, I got to learn to toss my hair like she does though. Yeah. I'm trying it. This isn't, we're not on video. You need more, more, more, more length and volume. And you need from one scene to the next to have it been dyed much darker than I watched the previous scene. Perania. Perania.

Fish genetics, huh? I just have the note she fucked Kevin McCarty. She did. That's so fucking funny. So the drunk dude and the investigator, our love interest, get nabbed by the like the military, yeah, and they have to escape, what's her ruse to escape? She takes apart the toilet? She flashes her boobs to the military guy. Oh that's right, that's right, that's right, that's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's, the. the. the. the, that's, that's, that's, the. that's that's. the. the. the the the that's that's the the the the the that's the that's the the that's the that's that's the the that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. tru. tru. true. true. true. tru. tru. tru. tru. true. th. thrue. the the the the the the the the the th She takes apart the toilet? She flashes her boobs. Oh, that's right, that's oh that's right, that's right, that's right, that's right. So that's John Sales, the writer of the movie that she flashes her boobs and those are not her boobs. Oh, dumb boobies. Someone else's boobies. That's nice. They get credits? I don't think so. Tem bubbies. Tes played by. Yeah, then they get arrested for speeding.

Right. Oh, that's why they end up in jail. Because they're speeding in a military police vehicle. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's fucking hilarious the way that she gets them out of jail. When she attacks the guy with the toilet lid, that's like such a fucking felony. Like you are going to jail for a really long time for that.

But isn't her like rationale that like she knew a dude who's a plumber that taught her how to break out of jail? Yeah but he never did it right. She did it right. Because she's like we're supposed to find her to be so spunky. I think it's fucking hilarious. After that happened, after that scene, I just wrote, all this because of some piranhas. Which is wrong, it should be all this because of some piranha. Ah. We also learned that like...

Did you just trunk and white yourself? Yeah, the military guy is like investing in the esplanada or something and the movie becomes briefly like about the horrors of conflicts of interest. It's just like why is any of this happening? I love that there are at least three people that are the mayor from Jaws in this movie. Yes, yes, there's the military guy, there's like a sheriff and then there's like the Dick Miller. Dick Miller. I also love that they have to steal the h the hor the hor the hor the hor the hor the hor the hor the hor the hor the hor the hor to the hor the horrors the horrors to the horrors the horrors the horrors the horrors the horrors the horrors the horrors the horrors the horrors the horrors the horrors the horrors the horrors the horrors the horrors the horrors the horrors the horrors the horrors the horrors the horrors the horrors the horrors the horrors the horrors the horrors the horrors the horrors the horrors the horrors the horrors the horrors, yes, there's the military guy, there's like a sheriff, and then there's like the Dick Miller character. I also love that they have to steal the cop's pants. Oh yeah, I did like that actually. And then they throw his pants at the other cop when

they drive behind. That was funny. Oh man. Did you notice in the esplanada scene? Did you notice that extra in the gold suit? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Yes in the thi. Yes in thi. Yes, thi. Yes, the the the the the the the the thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I. Yes. Yes. I. Yes. the. toge. too. too. too. toda. th. the. the. I. I. I. I. I. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. the Esplanada scene, did you notice that extra in the gold suit? No. There's a woman in the background of a scene. Wearing like a head-to-to-toe gold LeMay suit with a gold cowboy hat. And I was just- But she's a living statue? She looks very much like that, but it's just like a sexy costume. And I was like, ma'am, you're just an extra., what are you doing? She is extra. She is extremely extra.

I got, I do own the DVD, so I could go back and re-watch. Please do, it's like when we are introduced to the, I should stop going at the Esplanada. What is it really called? Aquarina? Aquarina? Aquarina. Which is a real place, apparently? Oh really? Yeah, called Aquarina. Because I saw in the credits they thanked Aquarina and I was like, word, you couldn't even fucking change the name.

You know what, does not flow off the tongue? Aquarina? I thought it would be like a, like a Disney, or not, what's that place called? Like a Cypress Gardens? No, no, it's just wherearina. You know, performances and water. Aquarina. No, no, it's just where fucking dudes go to drink Lone Star and swim and cut off denim shorts. Yeah, yeah, it's gross. There's so many shitty Tom Seleks at that beach. Oh yeah. Lone Star definitely sponsored this film, right? The like fat guy Pratt fall in the too tight Lone Star t-t-shirt. There's like, there, there, there, there, there, there, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. No, th. No, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. No, th. No, th. No, th. No, th. No, th. No, th. No, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. No, th. No, thi, thi, thi-s, thi-s, thei-s, their, their, their, their their their their their their their their their their their thi. their, thi. thi-s, thi- Fall in the too tight Lone Star t-shirt. There's like a very conspicuous shot of someone wearing a Lone Star hat.

There's a lady in a Lone Star baby tea that's a lot of ridiculous shit going on. I mean, Corman's gonna get money from whoever he can for whatever he can. God bless him. Yeah, yeah. Oh, and there's this whole B story about the camp that Susie's at. Yeah, I don't care. Do you? With the two camp counselors that are like, soops compassionate. They just really love everybody. And I also really wanted to hear the story, the campfire story that the one was telling.

It was like fascinating. Yeah. Oh, man. But they're trying to encourage to encourage to encourage to encourage to encourage to encourage to encourage to encourage to encourage to encourage to encourage to encourage to encourage to encourage to encourage they're trying to encourage Susie to get in the water and do her swimming to get her water badge. Yeah. But the camp counselor or the camp director or whatever is like this old weird man who should not be in child care at all in any capacity.

I'm pretty sure that he's the dude at the beginning of chopping mall that's sitting with Mary Warno of when there's like the presentation........S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S th.S th.S th Mall, that's sitting with Mary Warnoff when there's like the presentation going on and they're being like quippy. Yeah, I could see that. He seemed familiar, yeah. That is the deepest cut. Oh yes. Oh yes. Dick Miller's in that movie too. Is Chopin' all the movie movie movie movie? Yeah. Yeah, it's a Cormann't movie movie. I don't think it's a Corman movie movie. I think. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. Yeah. I th. I th. I th. Yeah. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. Yeah, I th. I th. I could th. I could I could I could I could I could I could I could I could I could I th. I could I could I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I th. Yeah. I th. Yeah. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I definitely is. Because all the movie posters in the pizza shop. Just him jerking off. God, I love that movie though. I think a woman directed that, but I can't remember her name. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, fuck. That's terrible. How do you feel about, no. No. What the fuck? Can't you, what the fuck? Can't you... What the fuck? It would be so ungodly murky. Yeah, why would you ever want to?

I know, it's so funny. I mean, I just can't. Like, what... So, then just all hell breaks loose. The piranha make it to the, the aqua arena. They're chewing everybody up on the beach. Yeah. At the camp, the one the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the the one, the the the one, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho, why would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would the one, the one, the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one f-fluckafte, the the the the the the the the the the the to the aquarina. They're chewing everybody up on the beach. Yeah.

At the camp, the one flies out of the water and bites the director of the camp in the face. I really like that. Would they jump? Would piranha jump? I think in the second piranha movie, they fly. Oh, wonderful. So they're like genetic. Also, why was the government was genetically enhancing piranha to use them as a weapon?

In Vietnam. Mm-hmm. And when that didn't work, they said there will be other wars. So they just kept funding this one dude. Because it could be in fresh water or salt water, warm or cold, like, they were just like, the most resilient piranha. I mean it's just a wish I was dead. I know I say that all the time but this time I mean it. Oh no. I have the back-to-back notes piranha biting titties and beards. Yeah they just go into the one guy's

beard and they're really nibbling away at it. The other thing is they're piranha they can only nibble. Yeah right they have those little little tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tii ti ti ti ti ti ti ti ti ti ti th. I thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi thi. I was thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. I was I was th. I was th. I was thi thi thi th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I I th. I th. I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm just thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I nibbling away at it. The other thing is, they're piranha, they can only nibble. Yeah, right, they have those little tiny mouths. So everyone's being nibbled to death. Yeah, they're just being like, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. So they're big, the drunk dude's big solution to this. Oh, and there's been dukes their their their their their th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thin's been duke's been duke's been duke's been duk thin' thin' th thin' thin' thin' to be to be thin' to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be they're being to be they're being they're being to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be th. So, th. So, th. So thi thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin. thin' tip. thin' thin, thin' thinni. So thin' thinni. So tooooo' to to to thin. It's just film sped up driving fast. It's just really hard to watch. The our two stars go down river and he's going to go to some plant that he used to work at and release all of these like toxins into the water to kill all the fish. Right. This is after he goes to the camp and like then leaves his daughter there checks to make sure the fish. Right. This is after he goes to the camp and then leaves his daughter there,

checks to make sure she's alive and then leaves. She's like, I don't know, seven. Also, the woman, I don't know her name either, the woman. The woman is like, I don't know you, but I'm your new mom. And it's really gross about it. Did she's like? new mom and it's really gross. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. She was so gross about it. Like, did she say that or did she? She might as well have. She just rolled up and like, hey.

Hey, you and me now, girl, girlfriend. Should we brush each other's hair? I fucked you dad into the dirty ass blanket. We're married now. Oh God. Help. So he ties a rope around himself. . Help. So he ties a rope around himself. She's in the boat and he's like...

Oh my god, this made me so mad. Cal to a hundred and if I'm not out, take off. Did you like his dive? It was so bad I rewound it. I watched it twice. I love how into his physicality. He sucks so bad. He like puts his arms up like he's gonna dive and then just like falls to one side. It's so bad. I to. I. I. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th. th. thi thi thi this th me thi this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this th th th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi to thoo to me tho to tho tho tho tho thooooooooooo the this the this like he's going to dive and then just like falls to one side. It's so bad. You could tell he like worked on it too and he got nowhere with it. Do you think it was watching like a lot of like Ethel Merman movies when they're doing like they just fall into the water? Like I am definitely a human word.

Yeah, sure. I don't know what that means in any sense of the words. You're saying, Yeah, sure. So he goes and it takes a real long time for him to release the sewage or whatever the fuck it is. He is underwater for days. First of all, count to a hundred. Yes, and at 15 I will be out of breath. Also, like, those things underwater, were they supposed to be plants?

It was clearly just net. It was just clearly pieces of green netting. Why? It looks so bad! I'm like underwater. Underwine's vines. Oh, it's so bad. off to turn or whatever the wheel won't turn and then it will and then he's getting nibbled he's getting nibbled he's getting nibbled but he's holding his breath he's holding his breath oh my god no he's not and then Susie drives him

away and we see Barbara Steele like gets right up at the camera is like there's nothing left to fear smile smile I have two notes that I want to go over in my last two notes. Second to last one says, this is the 9-11 of resorts, which I just wanted to say. And then, I don't know if you noticed this. There's a dog in this movie. I don't remember what the dog, the character's name was of the dog, but in the credits, the dog is credited as Jack Cardwell.

I was like, was the dog's fucking name Jack Cardwell? Because if so, I am so here for it. That is fucking hilarious. Oh, I don't have that, but... Oh, no, Jack was Keenan Wins' character's name. No. No, I'm looking. No, I'm th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I don't. I th. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I th. I th. I thiole. I thioled. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the thi. the. I was. I was. Ienan Wins character's name. No, no, no, I'm looking at it. No, I'm looking. I don't know, go back and look. You have the DVD. It doesn't matter.

He's rudely not listed on the DVD. I know, I just caught that. Now I'm angry. So Katie. So Katie. Is the movie over? The movie, oh, yes, Jack Cardwell and Brandy was the dog's name in the movie. Yeah, Brandy was the dog's name, right? That dog's name was Jack Cardwell. Oh, man, that's great. I know. That was the best part of the movie.

The best parts of the movie were the title going into a pool of blood and the fact that the dog's name was Jack Cardwell. That's such a good name. I love giving her dog a last name. I love the idea that like the dog's name is Jack, which you wouldn't really think that much of about a dog, but they were like, no, we need the family name in there too. Jack Cardwell for this one! Oh, he's so professional. Never shit's where he's not supposed to shit. We got Brian Drunk Runner and Cardwell.

My God, that dog... Oh my God, help me. So yeah, that's it, the movie ends on, uh, on Barbara Steele staring down the barrel of the camera. Why is she doing that again? There's nothing to fear. Isn't there't there? There's nothing to fear. Okay, fine, Barbara. Oh, hair flip, air flip. Shake your head, shake your head. Shake your beautiful tresses. My God, what a shit movie. Sounds like we're going to the ratings face. Chit, chit-chit-chah. Those are piranhas nipping at you. Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead.

It's terrible. It's terrible movie. It's a terrible movie. It's a terrible movie. It's done terribly with terrible actors. It's a three. It's so bad. Oh my gosh. What do you think? Well I own it. This is the second time I fought the DVD. Why? I lost one of them in a fire. I thought you're saying a fight, which I would have liked a lot better. I'll fight you for that piranha TV. It's okay, I didn't really have a fire. I had a relationship to end it and I lost the DVD. Ah, ha ha. So you did kind of lose it in a fight, huh? That's fucked, I'm sorry. It's a, yeah. You re-bought it though. Yeah. I think it's super silly. Yeah. But it's really fun. I have a really good time watching it. We'll give it a sep. Who do you think you are? Fuck.

It's just... I mean it was, it's, I watched it. I didn't hate my life while I was watching it, but I, it's so bad. I wish I was dead. I know I said that a lot, but this time I mean it. Yeah, sorry. I'm not actually, I don't know why I said that. Society has conditioned me to say it. It's so silly. It's so over the top and silly.

I'm sorry, it's like under the top, it's under the top, for sure. They like set the top and they were like, oh, we can't get there. It's the, it's like a beautiful like C student of a movie. It's like I'm gonna get out of this class. Oh yeah. But like, I'm gonna going to learn a fucking thing. But you probably bought weed off me. I'll see you guys later. See you next semester. I mean Jack Cardwell are out of here.

He's got the weed. I wouldn't fuck with that dog weed. It's so silly. I mean, I don't know, I couldn't even tell you why I like it as much as I do, but I just fuck it. Good thing that's your job. Imagine if we had to justify our opinions on here. I thought that's what we were doing. Ah, no it's fine.

What did you got for me? You want to go to a little place? I'd like to call a mail bag? Yes, please. This is from Howie the Alley Cat on Instagram. Hi Howie. If you had to take in an evil horror movie child, which one would you choose and which one would be a definite no-go? Uh, well last week's episode is fresh in my brain, so I'm gonna take in that zombie baby. Oh, so cute! And I think I'm going to leave behind it's got to be Damian right? Yeah yeah that's my answer to well. Because he's gonna outsmart you you can

outsmart that baby, that zombie baby. I mean yeah Damian's just gonna win. Yeah no matter what he's gonna win. I can't have that in my house under my roof. So what, I think I'm gonna take gauge from that cemetery. Oh, well, he's not a bad guy. Oh, I guess you mean ghost gauge. Yeah, yeah, sure, sure, sure. The current gauge. Yeah, gauge in his current form.

You're gonna make him wear that? I thin, he's All right, that's Deese. I like that. I like that we both. I mean, Damian. It's just Damian, yeah. Thank you, Howie. That was a really fun question.

Yeah. Yeah. So, Katie, what are we doing next week? toobey. toock. We're doing grizzly because discussed was the film Grizzly. We both got excited about the idea of an 18 foot tall Grizzly man. I'm extremely excited so we're going to do Grizzly because what's better than one jaws ripoff? This will be our fourth jaws ripoff to to be fair right. Okay. Okay. We did. this. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. we. wee. wee. wee. wee. the. the. the. the the the the. the. the the. the Okay, yeah, Orca. Lultimal Squalow, Pirana, Orca, and now Grizzly.

First one on land. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah. Yeah. Oh man, it's gonna be fun. Yeah. I'm excited. Me too.

So come back next week for that. Go watch us on YouTube. Yeah, do that, please. Go watch us on YouTube. Don't, oh go watch us on YouTube. Are there going to say go watch this movie? Yeah, go watch us on YouTube. Yeah, do that, please. And thank you everyone for all of the kindness you've shown us on your time. It's insane. Fucking nice.

We deserve all of it. All of it. Every, every accolade. We're numbing it up like little piran.. th, th on it before bed. It's so like yeah just it's really awesome. Thank you so much. And thanks for all your mail bags and your questions and you're just participating and interacting with us and being our pals. We really appreciate it. We're coming up on our five year anniversary. I know. Do you know what I'm gonna what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna set your house your house on fire. I'm gonna the house. I'm gonna the house. I'm gonna th. I'm gonna th. I'm gonna the house. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm gonna th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm. Yeah. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Yeah. I'm. Yeah. I'm. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. fire. I'm getting Lisa left eye Lopez over this. Shouldn't have bought all the Jordans. Or whatever.

Whatever was that Andre Rison did. So come back to me for Grizzly and... Yeah, you're not getting left-eyed. You're getting Andre Risen. I get to be left-eye. If you're not wearing a condom in one of the lenses of your glasses. That was so cool. Yeah, she's great. She's amazing. She was such a great rapper too. Yeah, I loved her. Gone too soon. I always think about the two inches or a yard, rock harder if it's sag in line. I'm just like the thi thia thia th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. thi. thoen thoen thoomorrow thoomorrow thoomorrow thi. thoomorrow thoomorrow thoomorrow thoomoomoomo-a tho-a tho-a tho tho tho tho tho tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea'a'a'n'n'n'n'n't thea'n'a'ea'a'ea'ea'n'a'n't thea' thea', whatever you're throwing at me, I'm fine with it.

I'm here to eat it up. Thank you, Lisa Lefty Lopez and God damn it, you should still be here with us. Thanks for listening to another episode of WhereWolf Ambulance. Bye. Bye. Bye. you know the true