Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 259- Jason X (2001)

Episode Date: December 16, 2019

In this week's episode, we're kicking off our horror-movies-in-space rock block (that will be interrupted by our regularly scheduled holiday programming) with the 2001 entry into the "Friday the 13th" franchise, "Jason X." Hoo boy, this one. Special topics for your consideration include: the personal grooming habits of one Jason Voorhees, having a real Stone Cold Steve Austin quality about you, unsolicited advice for science fiction writers, the beginnings of the script for the movie we're going to write, and an examination of Jason's motivations. We may have covered more films from this franchise than any other. Check them out with Episode 32- "Part VII: The New Blood," Episode 117- "Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan" and Episode 141- "Friday the 13th." Please also go check out our Youtube companion episode in which we play the game "Guess The Jason" and also pull the name of the winner of our sweepstakes! While you're watching, please subscribe to our channel--you can find it here: https://www.youtube.com/c/werewolfambulance And if you just can't get enough of us, you can get our faces printed on a t-shirt, throw pillow and more at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance. If our faces aren't doing it for you, may we suggest Brian from "Wings"?? Have you seen this one? What did you think? Let us know your thoughts at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Twitter @werebulance or on Instagram @werewolfambulance. You can also email us for our segment "MAILBAG!" at [e-mail] and if you're feeling super generous, leave us a rating and a review on Apple podcasts or wherever you can. Or hey, just tell a friend about us. Thank you for helping us continue to grow.  Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast. 

Can I tell you about a phenomenon that I really like? I really like it when you have picked a movie and then you watch it before I have a chance to and then you send me a message to apologize for the movie? Because it allows me to go into it being like, oh this is going to be and it rarely disappoints. Oh this mothfucker. I mean I've gotten those emails from you as well though. Yeah. When you realize what you've done you feel so guilty. Oh I really like this person that I'm doing this too. The thing is like I knew setting out on this adventure I was like oh I want that I'm doing this too. The thing is like, I knew setting out on this adventure, I was like, oh, I want to pick Jason X

because it could be funny. So you had seen this. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. But I knew it was going to be like, reprehensible. Duh. It's, dumb. Oh God, that is such an apt mush-up of movies.

Or maybe even Halloween Resurrection. Yes, the worst of the Halloween reboot, reboots. Oh, man. I have a hard time believing this is a movie. Sure. That's all. It seems like a couple pilots for a few different TV shows are being filmed at the same time. Exactly.

They're all sharing a set. Like, uh, uh, the. So we start off in hell. So I assume, I didn't do my research, but I assume this takes place some time around Jason goes to hell. I've never seen that. No, have I seen Freddy versus Jason. th and I, I, I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. th I seen Freddy versus Jason. No. I feel like we should do both of them at some point. Well I was telling Rob about our space rock block and he was like, well Freddy versus Jason is in space. And I was like, is it?

I don't know. I didn't look it up. I know the lepronate in space. Yeah. I know the leprosur, yeah. Yeah. This movie. Yeah. And hellraise are. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th was the other one we were going to do. You know, I'm glad we're getting putting that off a couple weeks. I just don't know if I can hell raise right now. The only thing I remember on hell raiser four is that I fell asleep at least 10 minutes into it. Oh, good. I made it that far. That is really exciting for me. It may not be all in space. So we start off this movie in a fiery fiery fire fire fire fire want to say something. Yeah. It, Freddy versus Jason does not take place in space. I just wanted to be real clear about that.

Rob, you're not good on facts, buddy. If it's not about the Civil War, it's Dacey from him. But I'll tell you what, I know it was a civil war. That is kind of like a horror civil war. Yeah, you can go back and listen to our curse of the cannibal Confederates episode, which outed him to one of his co-workers. Oh did it really? Who was like, does your wife do whereolf ambulance? And he was like, yes! What has she said about me? Oh a lot. Oh God so many things and you don't know because you don't listen. Hi Rob. There they go, so you're raw. No, he actually said very nice things about it about how

you really appreciated what we were doing. It was really sweet. Yeah. It's nice. Yeah. But you know I can't take a compliment so. We've got your bad 90s graphics. Oh, so bad. Even though this is in the 2000s. It is, it's 2001. Yeah. Uh, we start. We're like in an eyeball, then we're in a brain, and we're floating around.

And there's like a voiceover or something. I don't know, Alan. I don't know Alan I don't know. There's a needle being injected into something. Okay. My TV told me there was dramatic music. Yeah I appreciate that and it lets me know to fill tense. And then we're in the Crystal Lake research facility. I literally was like God I hope that this is just like a summer camp in space called Crystal Lake. And then it was like Crystal Lake Research Facility and I was like, good enough. And we find out that Jason is awaiting cryogenic stasis. Because they've been trying to kill him and he can't be killed so they need to put him away for a while.

Yeah, just like a fucking some extra soup. Just freeze him up till you're ready th thu thu thu thu thu thu- thu- thu- thu- thu- thu- thu- thu- thu- thu- thu- thu- this this thu- this thu- this thu- thu-a thu-a thu-a thu-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-li, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they. the-li. the-s. thi. thiii. thii. thiiiii. the-si. the-si. the-s. the-s up till you're ready to fall for lunchtime. Once we figure out how to kill this, but it's the opposite of Disney's head. Is that true or is that an urban legend? I think it's an urban legend. Because you do the whole body, right? It's just the head. You put the body into a robot body. Can I ask some questions? Sure. the time time time time time time time time time time time of our program will begin now. Is cryogenic freezing real? Or is that a sci-fi concept? You can be frozen, yes. And the theory is like eventually, sometime in the not-do distant future, science will be able to bring you back to life. So science is not successfully cryogenically frozen and then thawed something. Not to my knowledge. It's a real dumb thing to think that we're going to do it then, doesn't it seem stupid?

Yeah, yeah. It's like all them things. All them dumb things that people think are going to happen. Okay. I mean, I just watched I just just just just that movie set in November 2019 and I was like, really? That far out, you thought, like, in the not too distant future, this is what it's going to be like? Was that your first time watching Blade Runner?

I'd seen it before. But I had somehow neglected to note that it was 2019. Yeah, yeah, I could see you liking it. It's very sad. It's just, like, like, like, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that that, that that, that that, that that, that that, that that, that that, that that, that that, that that, that that, that that, that that, that that, that that, that that, that that, that that, that that, that that, that that, that that, that that, that that, that that, that that, that that, that that, that that, that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that, that that, that, that, God. Can we talk about Blade Runner? I love that movie. Do you? Yeah, I could see you liking it. It's very sad. It's just that like, why isn't he a replicant? Because that's the twist that the story should have.

Oh, he is. So if you talk to Ridley, Scott, he is. Oh, okay. All right, well fine, but why not just tell me Ridley? Yeah, his name is Ridley. He's the Riddler. Well, oh, by the way, spoilers for Blade Runner. You all should have seen that by now. If you've already gotten down to Jason X, you should have seen Swarer. Spend your time more wisely. So, there's the Army guy who's guarding Jason. He's a child.

Legit just an army guy. He looks like a baby though. It's like why would you have this little pre-pub-bett. He looks like his voice would squeak. And Jason's just staring at him with his one eye. Big old, stupid Jason. He just looks like a big old, stupid asshole. In Jason takes Manhattan. Yeah, which number is that that that that that that that that the thi thi thi the the as the as the as th. th. th. th. thi th. th. thi th. thi thi? th. th. the just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just thus thus just thus just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thitakes Manhattan. Yeah, which number is that by the way?

Eight. Is that as far as we've gone before this? Yes. Yeah, so we haven't seen nine. Okay, so there's just one, oh gosh, I didn't realize there's only one between this and Manhattan. That X? Latin for the te. That X, Latin numeral. It's what we say it is.

Sorry, I just jumped out a window. Yeah, I believe there's only one betwixt that there might be 27. I don't know. Yeah, I guess they just let it, that franchise die for a while then, because Manhattan was in the 80s, right? Yes. Ah, who right? Yes. And, ah, who cares? genuinely, who cares? It seems like we should know, doesn't it? It seems like if you've been doing a horror movie podcast for like, in your sixth

year, you should know how many Jason movies there are. And I will attest to this, this franchise specifically is a huge blind spot for me. Yeah. I've just never been like, I've seen a bunch of them, but I don't care that I've seen a bunch of them. Like I'm not like, he's not my dude. No. It's the same thing with later Halloween moves. Like, I don't care. Right.

Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. You don't just come at me to say to come. You don't have to see you're sorry to anybody. Don't. No, I don't think anybody's out here defending Jason X. So like, oh, no. No, no, no, guys. No, listen, we know better. So, Army guy puts the blanket over Jason. Like a fucking getting a bird to go to sleep. Oh, what I was going to say is Jason takes Manhattan, boiled to death in nuclear waste or whatever to go to sleep. Oh, what I was gonna say is, Jason takes Manhattan, boiled to death in nuclear waste or whatever that was in the sewers.

Yeah. And in this one, he has more hair than Jason has ever had. Yeah, it's very brushy. It's very weird. It's coarse. And sparse at the same time. It just looks like leg hair. It's very strange. It looks like, no, it looks like pubs that were trimmed and then he like glued them to his skull. It is very weird.

I just want to have hair. So I'm going to shake my balls and I'm going to put it on my head. Ooh. Jason shaving his balls is just a horrifying image. No, it's with a machete. Oh, oh. Jason's accidental vasectomy. This is the first time of my life I've ever thought about the fact that Jason Voor East definitely has ball. Of course he has balls. Jason has to jerk it. What else is he doing?

Isn't all that spare time between campers? It's a long, long, long winter. I'm just at the bottom of this lake tugging it. And then David Cronenberg shows up. Yeah, always plays a dick in any movie he's in. I like him a lot. Oh he's glorious. I love him. I was like, oh this movie just got definitely better. And then he's gone and we never see him again. And then he's gone and he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he's he he's he's th he th he th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi's thi's thi. thi's thi's gone and we'll thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. to to teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. tog. got worse. He gets killed. I like that he has an on-screen death. Sure. Why is he in this movie? For funties, probably. He's like, oh, this is dumb.

Let me do this. Yeah. I mean, he was in, I guess that would have been earlier. He was in nightbreed. He plays like tick. Even when he's the fucking delivery room doctor in the fly, he still comes off as a tick. You're right. Why is the lighting so bad in this medical facility? I don't know.

I don't know. And they're also having this long conversation about whether or not he's going to be transferred to the Scranton facility. There's as long, a big deal is made about transferring him, but it doesn't matter because when they come back in the room he's already loose. Like it doesn't matter if they were going to transfer him or not whether or not they were going to try and he's out. I did like that he puts the young army guy in the under the blanket and he's like, oh you're gonna put me under a blanket. Yeah, you go to sleep. You go the the the you you you you you you you you you you you you you you. You go the the their their their their their their their their their th. You go go their th. You go go go to they're go to to go go go go go go th. You to to they're to to to to they're to to they were to they were they were they were they were their their their their their their their their th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You. Yeah. You go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go their their their their their their th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You go go go go go go go to totrying to kill Rowan, who's our heroine in this film, they managed to get frozen together in the cryostasis lab to be discovered later. Yeah.

Yeah. These people, okay, so Jason gets in the chamber, he stabs her through the chamber with his machete. She suffers no ill gets in the chamber. He stabs her through the chamber with his machete She suffers no ill effects from the stabbing. Oh, no, they have to repair her with the ants remember? Is that what they were doing? Yeah, the little robots go in there and fix her up. I didn't know that. Because then later on on they'll fix. Yeah, but why? Because that's just what they do. Okay. Oh man. Does anybody know what this mask is? It's a hockey mask.

That's right, hockey was outlawed in 2024. I would fucking love it if hockey were outlawed in five years. I'm sorry hockey fans. It's ugly soccer and you know it. Pittsburgh will burn if that happens. I know, and I could not be happier for it. I love to suck the joy out of hockey. I just say it was just such it was such a weird weird choice. I just think that movies that are set in the future. This movie is set in 2455 or something like that 2445. It doesn't fucking matter. Real fucking far out. Yeah. So like if you're going to have something happen between now and then that seems implausible. It seems implausible. It. th. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's to. It's to. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the the to the the to the the the the the to the to the to the to to to to the doesn't fucking matter. Real fucking far out. So like, if you're going to have something happen between now and then that seems implausible now, maybe make it more than, like, you know, 20 years away.

Do you know what I'm saying? It's the Blade Runner problem. Yeah, yeah. Things don't change that much in 20 years. It's true. But think of you, yeah, I know, yeah, I know. Okay. And I, there's part of me that's like, oh, why don't we have mega cities? Why isn't it just dark all the time? Yeah, why isn't it? So we meet this rag-tag, scrappy group of college kids. All... In this... This movie wants you to believe that in 2445, Scrappy group of college kids. All... Wow. In this...

This movie wants you to believe that in 2445, everyone will wear midriff tops, but they'll be made of wool. They'll be knitted. Some of them will be almost completely open in the chest held together by metal rods future clothes. Why on earth? Would clothes get worse? Less efficient.

Colder. Why? I can think of no article of clothing I'd like to own less than a wool crop top. Well, like, in the 90s, there were all those like macromay crop tops that were going on. I know, but this is 400 years later. I mean 400 years from the moment we're sitting here people were wearing much different clothing than you and I. I'm wearing sweatpants right now. They didn't have those in the 1600s. I have chains with elastic in them. It's amazing. Why would I evolve from sweatpants to a wool crop top? But yet there are still... For science, for your science job. Am I not being clear about that?

If you want to wear a wool crop top in your social life, fine, that's not your science look. Your science people! They're like, they're college students even. It's not even their job. But they're working there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're allowed to fuck because they just can't work until they've fucked. So like, I don't understand the parameters of this internship program. They had to be like, all right, so Jason only kills people when they fuck.

How do we make that happen with space times? Space College, horny co-eds. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. I love that we still, 400 X amount of years in the future, there are still white boys with bad dreadlocks running around. It's like we couldn't have evolved out of that. If he had like cyberhackied, I would have fit in perfectly. So we meet this guy who looks like Stone Cold Steve Austin, and I was going to make a joke about how he looked like Stone Cold Steve Austin from the My Bloody Valentine 3D movie, which we made a joke about. That's the same guy. It's the same actor. Wait, wait, hold your shock.

He wrote this movie. What? And he wrote my bloody Valentine. The that's the dude who th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. the. the the. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the the the the to the to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. these movies. You know, Stone Cold Stee, Steve Austin. He's one of the bestful actors in this movie. I agree, I agree, and I remember thinking he was fine in my bloody Valentine 3D. It's him and the professor that looks like Mike for Biglio. I don't know who that is. Oh, he's a stand-up comedian. Which professor? You mean the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy the guy the guy the guy was, the guy was, the guy was, the guy was, the guy was, the guy was, the guy was, the guy the guy the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy, the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy was, the guy was, the guy was, the guy was, the guy was, the guy was, the guy was, the guy was, the guy was, the the the the the the the th., the the the th., the the th., the the the th., the the guy was, the guy was, the guy was, the the the child. With the nipple clamps? Oh God, yeah. Oh, God, yeah. I forgot about that. Didn't write notes on that. Anyway, Todd Farmer, thank you for all you've done, I guess.

I really liked my bloody Valentine 3D. It is joyous. I do have the note. I got stoed because I thought that was stone called Steve Austin. Yes, I was like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. toed, toed, toed, toed, tod, today, today, today, today, today, today, toed, toed, toed, toed, toed, toed, toed, I was like, did I make a joke about that in the my bloody Valentine 3D? And then I looked up and I was like, oh, I think that because it's the same person. I'm gonna put it out there. I'd be kind of pumped if I looked like stone called Steve Austin. Oh, I think it's a great look. Yeah.

I would stack you to try and then crush beer cans on my tho. glass to happen every time I walk into a room. I would ask you to drop it in here but I've already had to edit it out of episodes. His theme music you know? Yes. Never mind. I could drop broken glass in here if you want. Yeah you could do that. Yeah I'll just put it at the beginning when you're introduced yourself. Thank you. People will be like oh no what happened and now they get the joke. That's how you just throw it up and then tea it off. That's not what teeing it off is. Sports! And you're the sports one.

I'm a sports one. Well, this movie sucks. I have such notes as Future Horny. The problem is that there are 400 people in the ship and we meet all of them, and most of them are dark-haired women. And most of them will be dead very soon. And I don't know why we need them. And then we meet more people later. I do love that Frozen Jason falls down and cuts a dude told that a lot.

That was really funny. Yeah, and it was the Hawaii the Hawaii the Hawaii the white white white white white white white white white white white white white white white white. the white. the white. the white. the white. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I'm th. th. I'm th. th. to. to. th. to. to. th. th. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I liked it a lot. And it was the Hawaii dude with dreadlocks. Yeah. And everyone's like, oh man, because they could just put it right back on. That doesn't seem right though. They got them ants that fix everything. They're ants? No, they're little robots. I mean micro-bots. Microbots? Mm-hmm. Okay. Nan. I don't know what I don't know what I want it to be. It's just like when you begin to realize the bounds of your own ignorance. They're like, well, we can't wake him up. It's impossible. So they find Jason, they find Rowan, they wake Rowan back up. They're like, well, we can't wake him up. It's impossible because early in the movie movie the movie the movie the movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they they're they're they're they're they're they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they find Jason, they find Rowan, they wake Rowan back up, they're like, well, we can't wake him up, it's impossible. Because early in the movie, they removed his tiny, or no, this is when they remove his brain.

And this is what I don't understand why they're so sure that they can't bring him back. Because they're like, well, one's in perfect condition, one is thawing out right now, but they like aren't able to, it doesn't make any sense to me. I think because he's so dead. He's so many times dead that if you were from a medical standpoint you look at him and go, well we can't. Oh, I see, I see. And then they take his brain out, which is the size of a walnut. Yeah. Why? What? Like,. Okay. It's very confusing. What do they do with that brain? I don't know. They just take it up. He just gets it. No, he doesn't need it. How does have any motor control? It's just driven by... Jerkin it. Jerkin it and machetes. It's trimming his ball hair.

I feel unwell. Yow we just figured out Jason's motivation for everything. Jerking it, trimming your ball here. It makes as much sense as anything. Anything. Like, they... Ugh. Tell me your thoughts on KM wanting nipples. I feel like data.

I feel like she's such a bunk-ass data. For sure. Now this is a thing I don't know. Like in movies about space are there often Androids that are like data? Or is she just a spoof of data? I mean there's the, the, there's the androids and the aliens movies. Okay. And they're always kind of like calculating, not as cold as data or KM. Data isn't cold, he just doesn't know how to love. Sure. He's learning. Yeah, I know, I know, I know, got that dick. He does know how to love Chasha Yarr in

in episode two, season one, episode two, where Data fucks someone. We haven't talked about Dada's dick in a real long time. So let's talk about KM and her, do you think she, I mean she must have a vagina. Yeah, because the dude's definitely fucking her. He's definitely fucking her. Which seems like immoral somehow. For sure, yeah. Because she, I guess because she has so much more personality than data. No, it's weird that Tasha Yard data fucked. Yeah, it is. But they were like, they'd gotten drugged or something. I remember being like, I did not know that's what this show is about out of the fucking gates. Yeah

Then Morph would fuck you to death Do you think we're fucked anybody to death in that episode? I'll have to go back and re-watch Just a seat of him alone in a room crying or I didn't do it. I don't know what happened. Oh, like in seven? Oh, like in seven. Oh God. Why did I never make a wharf joke in that episode? Because it was too upsetting. Yeah, it's true. Oh my God.

This robot wants nipples. This robot wants nipples. But they just keep sloughing off her. It's very... Why does her shirt just have a breastfeeding option of popping the tits out? I don't know. I don't know. It is a nursing shirt. It's our litter, like that's how they make those shirts.

I know. Is it just so he can have easy access to her boobs? To her nipple. But if he built that whole thing, he can't build a goddamn nipple? He doesn't think she needs them. Janessa has them. Who's Janessa? I don't care. It doesn't matter. They all the today. Who the fuck is Janessa? Who is Janessa? Who is Janessa? Because they are all the sudden very concerned about Janessa. I'm like, I don't know who she is. No fucks given about Janessa over here.

Oh, man. So we, it's, it's, the professor is fucking one of the students. She's squeezing his nipple with a nipple clamp. So I felt this was really insulting to people with kinks. Yeah, it was comedic. Yeah, and it was like, this was really insulting to people with kinks. Yeah, it was comedic. Yeah, and it was like, this sucks. It's a bummer. It is a bummer.

And it's the least sexy thing I've ever seen. Yeah. It's also she's like riding him real hard and then it pans on. She basically his pants on. Just dry-humping someone while you're squeezing the nipple. Okay. Does Jason get mad about that? I don't know. Does that count as intercourse to Jason? So he's slowly melting. And then we get a couple that actually goes to the full-blown bone zone. Right. And with, in my mind, it may not have happened in the movie, but with each thrust, he wakes up more. Oh, yeah. And then like they climaxed, and he's like, oh, I'm up. Shakes his head real fast. the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th.. It's like you waking up in the middle of the night to realize that Hell House 3 LLC was about Jesus. Imagine if you were a monster that got woken up

by other people's orgasms. I'd be in a real bad mood too, yeah. You'd be awake constantly. I'd be killing people who had sex too. You know what, Jason's motivations finally explained, jerking it, trimming your balls, waking up because people are having sex. Hmm. I'm trying to take a nap stop nutting. I'm so tired. It's like having a newborn all the time.

A netting newborn. So he kills a lady by freezing her face in liquid nitrogen and then smashing it against a wall. I actually really liked that. It was great. I thought it looked like, I thought it looked like, I thought it looked like, um, because you see her like skull what's remaining afterwards, it looked like a bright red, like, gio?

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Yeah, I was into it. I was like, oh, this is a new one. This goes onto your new chart of the way Jason kills people. Yeah He finds a space machete Yeah, he does. Just a giant knife. No surgical knife of some sort. I guess so. We learned that we're going to to Earth 2. So the woman who like our point of view character is, you know, like the woman from 2001 or whatever. Rowan? Yeah, she wakes up, she finds out it's 24-45 or whatever and has to like deal with, you know, the fact that everyone she's ever known is dead, not that they address any of that, but you have to think about yourself in that

role, but so like the professor is talking to her because she yes, Earth 1 is dead. Okay anyway, like no follow-up questions, no explanation. If someone said to you the planet you're from is dead you'd be like what the fuck happened? Like he got it just overrides or he's like the land or ocean could not support life anymore. She doesn't really ask. He might as well just put like his finger on her lip and like, shh, shh. Yeah. She's like, okay, that's fine. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's not earth two, huh? They're going to earth two. That's not explained. Where did they find it? Who gives a dick shit? Real quick primer on earth, thu. Okay, bye. He's just go to their Google pages for Earth One and Earth to and it says, fuck it. So then she starts talking about Jason Fourhees and how, like for some reason she was in charge of executing him at this research center, which doesn't make any goddamn sense.

No. No. Also her qualifications to do that? Fuck it. Oh my God. Oh my God. I have the note Stoney's St St St St St St. St. St. St. the st st st st st. the the the the the th. th. th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. the the th. th. the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thi. thi. thi. Who the fuck is Stoney? Stony. And then they mobilize all the grunts because they all didn't realize Jason's going to kill everybody. Oh and fucking Professor Bobiglia is trying to sell Jason Vorese to sort of like space

Pimp. They've heard of him. They know him 400 years later Okay. Oh, space grunts. Tell me your thoughts on space grunts. I was surprised to see Rita from the handmaid's tail there. Oh, really? I was like, I know her and then it was like, oh, it's a Rita. Uh, weird. Yeah, weird. Yeah, Oh, weird. Yeah, Oh, weird. Yeah, Yeah, yeah, so. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I. the. the. the. the. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they they. they. they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they're to see Rita from the Handmaid's Tale there. Oh really? I was like, I know her and then I was like, oh, it's a Rita. Weird. Yeah. I was like, this is a, you're a passable actor, I guess. I don't, I, what is space grunts? They're just army people?

There's like Marines in space, students. And they're bad at it. They're bad at their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they're bad at their their their their their their their their their their their they're they're they're tho. It's thathea. It's that. It's that. It's thathea. It's thathea. It's thathea. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like, that. It's like, that. It's like, that. It's like, there to protect them from space murderers. And they're bad at it, they're bad at their job. Well, maybe they're not spending enough time in that hollow deck with the monster. Although I did like how Jason showed up in the hollow deck and cut them in half. And they were just like, oh, huh? No, I cut you guys in F. What is this? Why don't they all just go on the holodeck and stay there? Just trick him. Yeah.

They use that momentarily later on in the movie. Do they? Oh, right, right, right. It's so stupid. I think all's play three. It's like a military camp. It's real stupid. Someone was telling me that the later ones, like bride-up Chuckie are actually fun. Yeah, I've heard that.

Maybe. And we'll have to investigate. Maybe. And went down this fucking rabbit hole. I mean, is Chuckie ever in space? I'll look it up. I'll ask Rob, he seems to know. Yeah, there's a simulation going on where they're fighting aliens and I was like, are they're fu, there's not, come on, not aliens, let's not do this. Yeah. I'm glad that that was just a simulation. And I'm also, I appreciate the restraint in not having like alien races on board, the ship a la-trailetraq. Like I think that was that was th. th. th. th. thrae, I thrae, I thrae, I thrae, I thrae, I thrae, I thrae, I thrae, I thrae, I thrae, I the, I the, like, like, like, like, like, like their, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi, thi, thi. thi. they're, they're, th. they're, they're they're they're they're the they're the the they're they their good move. Probably a special effects one, but you know a budgetary move, but I also Appreciate that they didn't for sure they were gonna have to pile all that money into Jason I'm sorry the character's name is Uber Jason at that point. I wait. I know.

Gain Haunter is credited as Jason and Uber Jason. I hate it. This is where I have the note, this is MST 3K, silly. It is, it is absolutely that. So the grunts are after him, because he's killed a couple people, I guess. But the grunts all have names like Condor and Gecko, and it's like, but why? Other people are named Janessa.

Why don't I get a cool nickname? Can't I be Condor? I feel like Condor's a great nickname. I feel like Gecko is not. It's because of my sticky feet. I feel like mine would be like. It's something terrible, like, um. Oh, the popcorn. And I'drible like, um, popcorn.

And I'd be like, why? Like something incredibly uncool and untouf. Yeah, I want my nickname to do popcorn. Condor, you're a go. Get go, you're a go, popcorn, you're a go. I'm a go? You're a go. Popcorn just hang back. I got it.

Okay, I think I'll take a nap. Okay, I think I'll take a nap. Okay, popcorn, take a nap. And then there's like bandana guy and cowboy hat guy, both of which I thought were the same guy. They are not. They're not the same guy. There's two of them.

Oh, you mean crutch and sleazy cowboy man. I thought they were the same. I love the cat. Where are the cowboy hats in the 25th century? Space Cowboys. I love gangsters of love. I love the pilot when we meet him and he's like, oh yeah, I'm gonna fuck that. I love fucking people. And then like as the movie progresses, I'm real lonely. I'm really lonely. And then like as the movie progressed I'm real lonely. I'm just like I'm a stupid. I'm just just just just just just just just just just th. I'm th. I'm the th. I'm the th. I'm just the the the th. I'm just the th. I'm just th. I'm just the th. I'm just the th. I'm sad. I'm just the the the the the th. I'm just th. I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just th. I'm just th. I'm just th. I'm just th. I'm just th. I'm just th. I'm just th. I'm just th. I'm just, I'm just th. I'm just, I'm just th. I'm the the the th. I'm the th. I'm just the th. I'm just the the th. I'm just the thi. I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just the the the the the thi. I'm just thi. I'm like that choice of him just like getting more like, I'm real lonely. Yeah. Nobody's gonna want to hang out with me. It's a stupid hat all about.

And then there's like that even, like his real major seat is like the taking off scene that's in every spaceship movie and I hate it. Well, because he's just, he's obviously just making himself vibrate and going, I love this. It's like on next generation when something like hits the ship and they all just like grab onto something and wobble a couple of times. Sometimes like a red shirt falls down. I also love like the character crutch. Which one that's the bandana guy?

Yeah, the guy with like the t-shirt wrapped around his head. What is his job? He's like the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy that that that that that that that that that's the bandana guy? Yeah, the guy with the t-shirt wrapped her in his head. What is his job? He's like the guy that wears the funny glasses and is the space man. I don't know. He's like in a radio room. I have no idea what's going on. But I think he's supposed to be like too much working class on it. It's like a living Springsteen Alphal, in the basement of the in the basement of the spaceship. It's so dumb. It's so dumb. He's wearing like practically wearing like painters pants you know. With like a sleeveless flannel teacher on his head and a Mario mustache and a Mario mustache.

For sure. And it's just like all right crutch Crutch, there's a lot of look there, buddy. What would Tim Gunn say? Make it work, Crutch. So they crash into Solaris, which is just then gone and I laughed so fucking hard. They were like, Solaris is gone and I just laughed and laughed. I laughed in a way that I shouldn't have laughed. I did like a way that I shouldn't have laughed. I did like that it was two models smashing into each other. It wasn't CGI. No. Because it just looked like shit but in like the best like practical effect kind of way. It made me really stoked. I also laughed really hard. It shouldn't be that funny.

I hit the note, whoa, that model looks dope. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't that. It didn't that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that. It didn't that. It didn't that. It didn't that. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't too. It didn't too. It didn't too. It didn't too. It didn't too. It didn model looks dope. It didn't, it didn't, it didn't, it didn't, it didn't, it didn't, all. None of my notes mean anything. Like, hit me. Lady, did you change your clothes? Eh, fuck him anyway. Women are very, very mean in 2455. Just, all the women in this movie are so mean to each other all the time.

Why? I don't, because they're college kids, right? But Rowan isn't, and I don't care. I genuinely don't care. The whole like, oh I see my clothes fit you. Like, you fucking gave them to her, calm down. And also like, I guess she gets to keep those pants, because you don't make it. Janessa.

The pants are silly anyway, like, why? The shirt is just an inside out t-shirt. You're not tricking anybody. Oh, in the future, they're going to put the seams on the outside. So... The deepest of size. There's no pilot. The ship's hurtling through space. They've lost one of the pontoons. Yep. I guess. Jason's hunting them, like kicking out windows and chasing them to.

Literally, that's the entire movie is. It's just Jason, chasing people around a spaceship. And like killing them in graphic and violent ways, and sometimes inexplicable ways, like one, at one point there was just like a puddle of flesh or something, and I was like, what is that? Well, I'm going to remember that. Yeah, it doesn't matter. I may have checked out a that's Crutch with an exclamation. I was so excited when I met him. I'm glad you feel such a kinship with Crutch, the working-class hero.

He was born to run. So Professor Loehrush. I put that song on my running mix. I've heard it a buzzillion times, you know. And when I was like, this song's not about running, it's about trains! It took me a real long point in my life to get there. I thought he was just fast. I wrote it about Prefontein. Yeah.

The Jared Leto version. Oh, for fuck sake. So Professor Lowe tries reasoning with Jason. I can't remember what his offer is for him. Oh yeah. It's some bullshit. He just wanted his machete back. Oh, you just want your machete? Here you go, buddy. Yeah, yeah. Then he kills that guy.

Then I guess our hero is the guy from the other space movies. You know, the one that we think is dead and then isn't dead. I don't know the character's name. The guy who kisses the robot? The sergeant? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The guy that was like, is that Tony Todd? No, it's not Tony Todd.

But I've definitely seen that guy in other things. And I feel like they are all potentially movies. I feel like people who run movies about space are only in movies about space. Do you know what I mean? I feel like it's a genre that you can't get out of once you're in. You get type-guessed into being that space guy? Yeah. Like, uh, yeah, Jonathaniker and none of them are good. Like why are we supposed to expect that every woman wants to fuck Riker? That well manicured beard? It's the future. It's not that hard to do. I do like when the guy's talking to KM and he's like what are the odds and she's like, uh, fucking shitty and they make out and she's like, uh, fucking shitty. And then they make out, and she's like, oh, so much better now.

Data would never compromise statistics like that. I found that to be very upsetting. There's not a class of statistics called horny statistics. Like, I don't understand that character of the Android. Does she want to get fucked? Yeah, yeah, she's robo horny. Okay. So weird. Look, and why is it different when she shoots Jason?

Why does he take more damage? Because... Don't laugh, I'm asking. No, no, I'm not laughing. No, I need you to explain this to me. I need you to come back. So her computer, her creator, her creator boyfriend does something to her that improves her into a super fighting, excellent fighting lady machine. So she's thi, the, the.... Because. Because. Because. Because. Because. Because. Because. Because. Because, the.... Because, the.... Because, the... because, the... because, the... because, thi. Because, because... because, thi. Because, because... Because, thi, because... Because, because... Because, because... Because, because... Because, because, because, because... Because, thi. Because, because... Because, because... Because, because... Because, because... Because, because... Because, because... Because... Because... Because, because... Because, th, th, the... because... because... because... because... because... because... because... because... because... because... because... because, the... because, the... because, the... because, the... because, th. Because, th. Because, th. Because, th. Because, th. Because, th. Because, th. Because, th. Because, th. Because, th. Because, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the... th. the... the... the... Because, thi. th. thi. th. to unpack. Does something to her that improves her into a super fighting, excellent fighting lady machine.

Oh. So she's got all these crazy good guns. It's basically the Matrix. I don't know what that means. Is that a trilogy? It is a trilogy. I bet none of them are good. First one, it's great.

Isn't it just about the internet? It. It's about like some like philosophy ideas that if you're real high you're like, whoa, what if we all are just batteries in a machine? Wait, are we? Are we all just bricks on the wall? I mean, Elon Musk says that there's like a pretty good percentage chance that this is all just a simulation. Is that why he made cyber truck? I love cyber truck too. Simulation. Anyway, so yes, he turns her into the super kick-ass fighting machine where she comes, it's the matrix because she comes in and all leather with all these guns all over, which

they do in that movie as well. Does Kianna Reeves do that? Yeah. Well, I don't know. And he says, whoa. He's great in that movie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Well, thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. th. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.'t. Oh, yeah. I like that. He's great in that movie. I fucking love that guy. You love him in everything, though. You've never seen Keanu Reeves in something that you didn't love him in. Uh, yeah, you're probably right.

Yeah, don't even sure I. Uh, so she gets into this knocked down drag out fight with Jason where she shoots his arm and leg off. Yeah, here's the thing. Uh-huh. The like taking damage but not dying, uh-huh. Premiss. It's like only interesting if you don't look at it too closely.

Sure. Do you know what I mean? It's like once it gets to this point, it's not good anymore. It's bad, I would say. I think the whole thing in Halloween where he gets like shot out the window and then he's gone. Love it. That is likeuck machine it's like oh this is just boring yeah you're just literally the worst but but oh no oh my god oh no we think the Android we don't think but they think the Android has killed him yeah the Android has my initials the Android has my initials Okay, I'm. So he.

Also, I don't have nipples. I know you keep leaving him on the floor. If he would stop sliding off. You just double-sided tape. Shit. So eventually, Jason ends up on the, like, in the, like, medical bay. And the computers go haywire, because, like, the ship is falling apart. Right. And so, the, the. And the like in the like medical bay and the computers go haywire because like the ship is falling apart.

And so the nanobot ants are invigorated to put him back together. I guess. Doesn't seem like he should need that, but okay. But they got to make him better. I laughed so fucking hard at the new Jason. When he came through the door, I literally spittakes. Like I literally had a drink in my mouth and did up with it because it's that fucking funny. Did you also do that when the robot said who's your mama? I did not. Because that guy programmed her to say that? That's gross. And why would you bring that up? Why would you remind me?

I saw an interview with Jeff Goldblum and they asked him about women referring to him as daddy or zaddy? Why zaddy? I don't know what that means either. And he's like, oh daddy, like sexy, like sexy talk. Oh, I like that. Oh, I'm just like, oh, Jeff? You have actual children. I, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, that? that. that. that. that? I that. I that, that, that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that. I. I. I. I. I. I, I. I. I. I. I. that, I. that, I. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. the. that. the. the. the. the, I'm, the, I'm, I'm, I'm, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the, I the. the, I the. Oh I like that. I'm just like, oh Jeff you have actual children. I like like sexy talk. That just weird Jeff Goldblum wave like, yeah, yeah, yeah. The way that he's like an utter creep but like gets away with it seemingly. Like an adorable creep. Like if anyone else was doing that F act you'd be like, ewe. Like no one sitting around going, God I want to fuck the shit out of Christopher walking right now. Yeah. Like, like. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, ew. Like, no one's sitting around going, God, I want to fuck the shit on the Christopher walking right now. But somehow Goldblum's getting to pass. Yeah, I don't know. It's just got, he's got style. It's all down to style.

Oh, style. Yeah, which is a robot says, who's your mama? And the show, we forgot to mention to the ship's called Grendel. And it, the ship, th... And, the ship, to, to, to, to, the ship, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, to, th, to, th, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, and, the, and, and, and, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, some, some, some, some, some, some. they. the the the the the too, somea, somea, somea, some, some, to, so be picked up by Tiamat. It's like, it's like a fucking D&D game in here now. Can I read you my next note after about how hard I laughed at Jason? It just occurred to me for the first time that I'm not sure who I'm rooting for. And then I realized nobody, no one. I don't want Jason to win because he's big and stupid and now he looks like a dummy and I don't want these people to win because I don't care a witch for them. So they give Jason a new leg and a new arm and a new head because his head got blown off. Yeah it's like a metal bionic, I mean, a hockey mask.

Robocop hockey mask. And he's got big bulbous arm muscles on his robot arm. It's just excruciating. Because you've done, at this I don't know if it's meant to look cool or if it's meant to look silly. Yes. This is the part that I was like, oh this is just joyous now. This is so, this is like, you've tipped into like dumb territory that I'm like, I'm on board. Todd Farmer, you've done it. I'm gonna you have gone so far

down this dumb road. Oh my god he's dead, he got better. He got better. He got better. Or like when Janessa is being sucked out the window and she goes, this sucks on so many levels. Or when... KM is just a decapitated head? And something happens, she says, I'd clap if I could. That's funny. That's really fucking funny. That reminds me of Peewey Herman in Paul Rubens in Buffy the Vampire's

Lair. Yeah. Yeah. So, they holodeck him basically. Yes, to trick him so they could slow him down so they could try and get the ship ready to escape. They send him to summer camp. Yeah. How do they know? It's the 1980 Crystal Lake Protocol. How do they know? How do they know? But I was like, yo, isn't 1980 when his mom was killing people? It is. We didn't even know Jason was still alive until the last frame of that movie.

But the two co-eds, like, camp counselors seems to take their tops off. Tiddy Town. And crawling into sleeping bags, which he then, is beating one to death with the other one in the sleeping bag? And like, as brutal, is it, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is it, is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? the the the the the the then is beating one to death with the other one in the sleeping bag? And like as brutal, is it seven that's got the sleeping bag killing where he just picks the person up and slams them into a tree? We did that one, didn't we? Yeah. And in this he's just repeatedly slamming the one bag in the other one and they're going, hey, hey, wow. that is, hey, that is, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, that's, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, that's, th. that's, that's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, that's,. All right, fine, it's funny.

We love premarital sex. That's where I just have a note that says, what? Oh, it's Brodsky. That's the guy who disappears and comes back and is saving everyone. Okay, so he's like our new hero, I guess or whatever. So they do some space shit, all of which I hate, to like make it work. Because now it becomes like a Star Trek episode that isn't very fun. You know, where they're like, the weebels broke and you've got to get the wobbles down to the weevils, you know? And it's like, you're all, first of all, you're making it all up right now. Second of all, I'm bored. You know?

So are you bored as the ship is blowing up around them and Brodsky is sacrificing himself? Yeah. Yeah. Because there's like another ship that's like trying to rescue them and they've got to like release the bridge. It's dumb. I don't want to do this. I didn't come here for this. I'll watch that episode of Star Trek, but I got to be be be be be be in be in be in be in be in be in Trek mind for that. So anyway, Brodsky ends up riding Jason like Falkor in the last scenes. It looks like that's the way it's shot. Just triumphantly riding him.

Never ending murder. Da da da da da da. They ride Jason to Earth too. There's two kids making out by a lake. They land in the lake and the kids are like, oh, falling star, landed over there in the lake. Dunn, done, done. I actually loved that.

Yeah. That was, when it ended, I was like, I think that's spectacular. Do you think they were hoping for Jason X to in the future the movie. Full title LLC. Um, uh, are, uh, is, does Uber Jason ever come back? I don't believe so. I believe this is the one and only appearance of Uber Jason?

And so what is, what is the next Jason appearance then? Is it Freddy versus Jason? Yes, I believe so. Okay. It might be Jason goes to Hill. I'm not a hundred percent sure. I'm looking. Manhattan is eight. Hell is nine. Jason X is 10. Freddie versus Jason. And then Friday the 13th from 2009? That's the remake. Where they do the original Friday the 13th, but Jason is the killer and not his mom? Why would they do that? I didn't know they did th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. to. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. the. the. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. to. to. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the 13th, but Jason is the killer and not his mom? Why would they do that? I didn't know they did that. Yeah.

When did it? Why did they do that? Because fuck it, nothing sacred anymore. Stupid. Uh, how are you going to get a killer mom and killer line in there? Yeah. The movie's so fun. Did this movie even do the... Yes. It did. A couple times he did the ha ha ha ha ha chas. But it's not a Friday the 13th.

Like I guess at Manhattan is the last Friday the 13th, because Jason Goes to Hell. Well, Jason goes to Hell is called the Final Friday. Yeah, but it's not a Friday the 13th. Oh, I see what you mean by the actual title. I see these are like spin-off dummies. My last note is that movie got made. Oh my god. It did. Yeah. And then they made more. Yeah. It can't stop won't stop. Rockfella. I do you're gonna say it. I can't I can't not do it. I'm just waiting for you to say it and then I can go on. I got so excited because all of Jay-Z's catalog is now on Spotify. Oh is it? Yeah, it just went through and listened to like 30 seconds of a hundred songs.

So excited. And that one, and that one, and that one? I'm a dummy. We're all dummies though, aren't we? Yeah. Yeah, I do. I'm a th. I'm a th. I'm a th. I'm a th. I'm a th. I'm a th. I'm a th. I'm a th. I'm a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thu. thu. thu. tho. tho. thu. thu. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. you want to rate this movie? Yeah, I do. Oh, oh, it's better than last week's movie. Just saying, yeah.

I'm gonna give this a number. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Okay. I can see an instance where this would be fun to watch with a bunch of people. But there's so many other things that would also be fun. Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, thi, yeah, thi, thi, yeah, thi, yeah, thi, yeah, yeah, thi, thi, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, thi, thi, yeah, yeah, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, th. thi, to, thi, thi, thi, so many other things that would also be fun. Sure. Yeah, yeah. That's where it's, yeah. But the last like 15 minutes of this movie are so fucking stupid.

Yeah. That they actually, it's that thing where they come back around. I'm like, that's good. Like so ugly or cute? Yeah, they're like E. th. Yeah legs, but he's adorable. Big old space dick. I'm going to give this movie a three. Okay. I feel like that soups generous. That's incredibly generous.

I would rather watch this than the horror movie seven. I would rather watch this movie than seven. Yeah, oh, no, not seven the horror movie, the 13th part. Oh, oh, I would also rather watch this than the horror movie seven. Wait, which one was seven? With like the fake carry with a girl with teleconesis and stuff, and Jason's been at the bottom of the lake and they electrocute him back to life. Wait, do we do that one? Yeah.

I was like, oh, five. Okay, all right. There's a bunch we haven't done, but yeah, we'll get to him. We'll get a lot of time people. Uh, we're never going to stop making this show. I mean, I would argue that this is not a horror movie. There's not a single scare in it. What? When is it scary? That guy's tradlocks? Oh, oh, that's that's th me that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi thi thi thi the the theathea the the thi theathea to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the? Wea? Wea. Wea the? We' the. We' the. the. the. the. the. the. Wea? We' theate. We' to-a? We' to to to not a horror movie. There's not a single scare in it. What? When is it scary? That guy's dreadbox. Oh, that's mean. They don't even bother with a jump scare anywhere.

There's literally nothing scary about it. Um, the guy fucking a robot's creepy. Yeah, that's a different kind of horror though. That's unintentional horror. I just think it's a sci-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-fi-fi-fi-fi-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-n. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's tho'-seeeaseaseyo'-seaseyo'-seaseeno'-seaseeno'-so'-seaseeno'-so'-s. that's that's that's al horror. I just think it's not a horror movie. Just a sci-fi movie? I think it's a sci-fi movie. But would you say, I mean... You can't just slap at Jason on something and call it a horror movie. I mean, fine. I mean, it's fine. It's just not, there's nothing to it. There's no thought. They were like, put Jason on a spaceship, go.

When I was watching this movie, Jonesy, my cat was sleeping on my lap, and I looked down and went, you could have written this movie. Yes, if Jonesy had a thumb to hold a pen, this movie would have been written by him. I think if he just walked back and forth on a laptop long enough he would have written this movie. Take that Todd Farmer. It just, it's just so bad. Like it's so bad. And I think it makes me feel, you know when you watch something that's really embarrassing and you like cringe like. That's secondhand embarrassment. Exactly. It makes me feel that for movies where I can't tell if they're intentionally being funny or if they're like being sincere and it's just bad and that's where this one

falls for me like I can't tell if it's sincere or not and I can't I it's terrible one and a half oh okay yeah it's just still better than the house three LLC yeah probably it reminds me of that Pat and Oswald bit about how he's written a few movies that have that th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that that that that that that that the the the that that that that that that that that that that that that thus thus thus th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th. th th th. I th. I thi that that that thi that that thi the the the the the the the the the the the the theeeeeeeeeeeeeee. thee. the the the the bit about how he's written a few movies that have never been made, yet deathbed, the bed that eats people got made. That got greenlit. So like Jason X got greenlit, think about all the movies that didn't get made. I know. Then it also feels like why would we wretten a movie?

I don't know. Because anything can get made a Jason in there. Yeah, slap a Jason on it th Jason on it th Jason on it th Jason on it it th Jason on it th. It th. It's th. It's. It's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th put a Jason in there. Yeah, slap a Jason on it. It's a horror movie. Could we write a new Peewee movie where he interacts with Jason? I feel like that could get made. Oh yeah, for sure. I think he would do that too. Yeah, Paul Rubin's on the book?

What if he would do that? Oh, let's pitch it. Copyright, copyright, copyright. Peewee versus Jason. Katie. Alan. What are we going to do now? Tim Burton's got to direct that though, right? No, ah, he's thinks. But Peewee's big adventure. He's done.

Yeah, but I mean, fucking Alice in Wonderland? I didn't see it. I'm not going to cast Johnny Depp S. P. We, Herman. John Duff died. Paul Rubens will have to play Jason. Actually, that would be very fun. I hope I get to play Jason. It's you and me in a trench goat with a hockey mask on him.

Ah. What delightful movie are we going to do next week for these people? Next week is our annual Christmas episode. Oh, it's true. Do you hear the joy in my voice? We love Christmas. Have we done a good job of not bitching about it this year? I think so. Okay, well I'm bitching about it now.

Although we're going to do rare exports, which is a movie that will be fun. that I will be tha fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun that that we that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that will be that will be that that that that will be that will be that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that will be that will be that will be that will be that will be that will be that will be that will be that will be that will be that will be that will be that will be that will be tho that will be tho tho tho tho thoooooooooooooo thoooooooooo thooooooooooooooo that will be that will be that will be fun. that will be that will done. Yeah, I think we had this conversation last year too when I suggested doing rare imborts and you said that we'd already done it. We have not. It's on Hulu, right? Yes. Yeah. Free with your subscription on Hulu. And it's a foreign film so you can feel smart. And it's a foreign film so you can feel smart. I think the downside to be watching everything with subtitles doesn't make me feel smart. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. Yeah. Yeah. thi. thi. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. I th. I's thi. I's thi. Yeah, th. I th. I thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, th. Yeah, for watching. Oh, just another one I gotta read? All right, let's do this. Just reading, reading all of your movies. So yeah, that's gonna be our annual Christmas episode, and looking forward to it, I guess, because then the holidays will be over.

I recommend if people have the time and the wherewithal find the rare exports that they did before the movie. Yeah. They're really fun. I haven't seen them but I've heard really good things about them. I think you'd enjoy them. I'll find them. It's not to spoil anything but they're hunting Santa Claus's and I think you would really enjoy that. I would really enjoy that. But yeah, so come back next week we're going to talk about rare exports and we'll get through this together. Yeah. This is our sixth Christmas together. So we're here for you guys. Yeah. It's gonna be good. Yeah. It's gonna be real good time. It's gonna be real good time. It's gonna be great. Probably drink a bunch of egg now and get real milk bubbly while we're talking to you. Oh yeah, I'm not gonna get an Uber. You know get at us on the internet, buy the tie tie tie t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. to t. to to to to t. to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be that's that's gonna that's gonna to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. t. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. t. t. t. tf. tf. tf. tf. tf. tf. tf. tf. tf. tf. tf. try. tf. try. Yeah keep them coming. And also if you have never done it, could you review us? We would really appreciate that. You can do it on iTunes, Apple Podcasts or whatever. What's the podcatcher that you use? Podcast Republic? Let's see if we've gotten any new reviews on it.

I haven't checked in a while. No Republic is like no one can top that no one can review you again. Can we make a wolf ambulance t-shirt that just says wolf and credited to Jackroll? I think Justin Gray will probably make it for us if we so desired. I think no one will buy it except for me. Yeah. Yeah, that's fine. I'll buy it. I'll get on a sweatshirt and a magnet and a coffee mug and a tapestry. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No the the the th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No t. No t. No t. No t. No t. No tha. No tha. No tha. No tha. No tha. No one tha. tf. tf. tf. tf. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. tha. tha. tha. tha.'s fine. I'll buy it. Yeah. Yeah. I'll get on a sweatshirt. Yeah. And a magnet. And a coffee. And a coffee? And a travel mug. And a pillow. And a tapestry. And a cell phone case. And a puppy? You can get it on a puppy? Oh, I'll pray about anything. Thanks to the other episode to wear off ambulance. Bye.