Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 271- The Wicker Man (1973)

Episode Date: March 9, 2020

In this week's episode, we're tentatively easing back into the story of "The Wicker Man" with the original 1973 film starring the one, the only, Christopher Lee. Special topics for your consideration include: expectations for Christopher Lee's hair, expectations for the wig that your butt double is wearing, a hearty discussion about Easter candy, talking serious about bathroom time, the problem with eating wings and the fact that this movie *might* be a musical...? Did you miss our episode about the absolutely bananas Nic Cage remake of this film from 2006? We got you covered, it's Episode 108. And if you just can't get enough of us, you can get our faces printed on a t-shirt, throw pillow and more at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance. If our faces aren't doing it for you, may we suggest Brian from "Wings"?? Have you seen this one? What did you think? Let us know your thoughts at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Twitter @werebulance or on Instagram @werewolfambulance. You can also email us for our segment "MAILBAG!" at [e-mail] and if you're feeling super generous, leave us a rating and a review on Apple podcasts or wherever you can. Or hey, just tell a friend about us. Thank you for helping us continue to grow.  Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast. 

Ahead of this film about religious differences, Alan and I just spent, I don't know, the last six minutes discussing, peeing and pooping at the same time. How does it work? Just having an honest discussion about bathroom times. Yeah. How do you pee without poop and how do you poop without peeing? Well, one of them is very easy if you're standing up. That's the part I don't get. You never get a surprise poop, huh?

Well, if you do. You're in trouble, that's what I'm saying. Oh my god. Anyway, wickerman. Anyway, Wickerman. This is our second Wickerman. The one I promised I'd never watch. It's true. I watched it. Why were you so adverse to this movie? I think I just really dug in my heels that there was only one Wickerman and I'd

already seen it. The Nicholas Cage version, which after we watched this movie last night I made Rob watch that supercut of all the Nicholas Cage freaking out scenes in Wickerman and he was like, holy fuck we should have watched that. A very different movie. A very different movie. Yeah, kind of weird that they called it the same name. This movie is more like last week's movie.

I mean that last week's movie is clearly trying to be this. I mean, oh, do you think that um Christians name in Midsummer is Christian because the character in this movie makes such a big deal out of being a Christian? I don't know. Do you think it's a hat tip? Probablythis movie or from last week's movie to this midsummer borrowed a lot from Wicker Band. Yeah yeah for sure. And I feel like as we get further into this month when we get to things like Black Death borrowed a lot from this movie. Okay. Yeah. I have no idea what to expect from Black death so I guess I'm looking forward to it. My first note about this movie. my first note about this movie just says, first off, I love this movie.

I like that you wrote that down in case you forgot, to tell me. You love this. Can I tell you what my first note about the movie is? Well, it doesn't come until about a half an hour into the film because I was eating wings. I couldn't write notes. So I'm missing like the first 30 minutes. I watched them, I just didn't record them. I got you. Yeah.

I went back and wrote one note which just says, wow, tet-tets. So did the version you have had the like documentary-esque thinking of Lord Sumerile? Yeah. Because there's three different cuts of this movie. Okay Cutting between like 10 and 20 minutes out of the movie. Oh interesting. Yeah So this this is like the middle cut probably that you watch like an hour and a half. Yeah, yeah, it's whatever you could rent on YouTube, but it definitely had that thanking of Lord Summer aisle at the beginning and for a second. I was like, is that? It's not fucking real? the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the? Yeah. the the the the the the the the the th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the th. th. the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the th. th. th. th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. thee. theee. theee. the. the. the. the the. the the the. the the the. the the. thanking of Lord Summer Isle at the beginning. And for a second I was like, is that right? No, it's not fucking real. And then I thought, why would they pretend it was? For Funsies, I think. I guess.

I mean, this is the time of like, this is around like cannibal Holocaust and obviously a half. the tea their teaned the massacre, the the the the tha. tha. tha. ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, thta, th-in, th-in, th-in, th-a, th-a, th-a, th-a, th-I's-na, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. thi, th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the, the, the, thin. thin, thin, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th... I feel like I could buy that a little bit more, Texas Chainsaw Massacre being real. What? Because this movie? Like, if it... If Lord Summer Isle really allowed this to happen, I think he would be in trouble with Metropole. No, Interpol.

Metropol is a venue the close here in Pittsburgh. The band Interpol would Metropol is a venue that closed here in Pittsburgh. Interpol. The band Interpol would be up to... Yes, yep, Interpol. Mm-hmm. He'd be trouble with somebody. Somebody is gonna be mad. Metropole. God, no.

He would be in the soundtrack is fucking killer. Did you write that? I own the soundtrack to this movie. I love it. You love that song the woman sings. Oh sure. Yeah, I remember you talking about that. Come to my room.

Well, I'm just like rubbing her tits on the wall. That's definitely not her from behind. That is definitely not her from behind. Why? I can't remember, I did very little research this time around, but when reading about this movie before, I can't remember if she didn't want to go full nude. She's like, tops only. But butts, buts are like the lowest tier of nudity. Well, there's not just butts when she's doing that dancing. You're saying, and... Just from, yeah, well, never mind.

The way I think what actually happened is somebody was unhappy with her butt and brought in a butt to a ball. Oh, that's worse. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

that's way off length. Oh, and cut. It doesn't match at all. Yeah, they could have cut it to like mid-shoulder length, but instead it's like halfway down her back. Like, why? I feel like they needed it for something else later. And they were like, we can't cut it. So this is the story of Edward Woodward, who is a cop, who is going to investigate the disappearance of Rowan Morrison. I appreciate that it gets right right in that that that that that that tha that that tha that tha tha tha tha tha the the the the the thoooom thoom thoom thoom to to to to tooom out out out tooom out to to to thoom to to to to to thoom. thoomoomoom. thoom. thoom. thoom, thoom, th. I th. I th. I th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. I th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. thea. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee like thii the, th it gets right into it unlike the remake of Wickerman that has like about an hour of Nick Cage's back story which is

largely relevant to nothing. I watched the trailer for that and I was like this movie is so fucking stupid. But the right up the movie is even worse on Amazon not to talk about the other workman but it says I'm going to. Nicholas Cage who plays a police officer that's returning a stuffed animal to a child and I was like, that's a weird way to look at that opening scene. I mean technically, yes, you are correct. But that's not really what's happening. That's a thrust of what he's doing. Oh my god. So yeah, so this is basically the opening scene is a police sergeant Neil Howie rolling up on an airplane boat. Yeah. I like that he's a pilot too. Sure. Is that a real thing? I mean, pilots I know are real things, but like would you have to be a pilot to be a cop in the? Oh yeah, if you've got to do island hopping and stuff? Like I'm sure cops in like Alaska and stuff have to be able to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the they. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the........ the.. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the... Oh yeah, if you've got to do island hopping and stuff, like I'm sure cops in like Alaska and stuff have to be able to fly planes. Yeah, plane cops.

Plain cops. We should make that show. Fuck you bike cops or plane cops. Yeah. I love that all the shit that he could do throughout this movie was like, I need to develop this film, doing it. He is ridiculous. He is ridiculous. He's a devout Christian. He's like. He's like, he is like, he is like, he is like, he is like, he is like, he is like, he is like, he is like, he is like, he is like, he's great. He's a devout Christian, which he makes a big fucking deal out of. He's a super Catholic, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's also very handsome. You think? Oh yeah, he's got that middle-aged British man thing going for him. He looks like the second Barnaby on Midsummer Murders for sure. On no pee. But I love when he shows up and he's like can you send out the dinghy and they're like what? I do love that.

I love pretending you can't hear someone. What's this now? I love the idea of like being on the other side of a door from someone and pretending you can't hear them but they can hear you so like they know. That's really fucking funny to me. That's like. That's that's that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like. That's like that's like that's like that's like that's like th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their. their their their their their their their thi. thi. thi. the. theee. theeeek. I c. I's theek. I the. I thi. I's like. I thi. I their their their 't hear them, but they can hear you. So like, they know. That's really funny. That's really fucking funny to me. That's like peak comedy. But so he just encounters this cavalcade of dickish old men that are like, hmm, what's this now?

Never seen her, never heard of her. So, so yes, he has a photo, a letter saying that Rowan Morrison is missing and he has a photo of her. They was sent to him anonymously. And so he's showing the photo around and saying her name and no one has ever heard of her. And no one has ever seen her, and no one has ever seen her, and no one has ever seen her. And then the story changes somewhat as the movie goes on. And then the story yes we know what happened or oh yes she's dead like the it just gets very confusing she's buried in the former churchyard they dig her up it's a bunny it's very confusing also not a silly bunny it's a hair

okay I love the old like obviously just local dudes that they have looking at the photos and then there's just a set of twins hey twins! Why? And tweens? Oh God, was that on the Bud Light thing? Oh boy. It always reminds me of that line in the Nelly song where he says he's fucking lesbian twins and I always thought, Nelly, what are you talking about? Like, why would you, they, did you, but they, but they, but they, but they, but they, but they, but they, but they, but they, they, but they, they, but they, they, but they, they, but, they, they, they, they, but, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they, they, they, they, they, are you talking about? Like, why would you, they don't want that? And are they, did you, but they, Nelly? It's best not to parse what Nellie's trying to get across to you. Underlay, underlay, mummy, Eye, Eye, uh-oh.

Where Nelly at? I don't know. I don't know. The old man directed him to May Morrison who runs runs the Sweet Shop. And post office. And post office. Because later, Rowan's address is listed as the post office. Oh man, I kind of want to live on one of these like tiny British islands. Shetland. Shetland. You guys watch Shetland? It's great if you haven't seen it. You should watch it. Now there's a good-looking middle-aged British man.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Wood. What's his protege's name? Oh tosh. Tosh? She's so great. I saw a woman at maybe at Target the other day that was wearing a like trench bomber, like Tosh's like long bombers that she's always wearing. I was, where did you get that? Gosh. Tosh is the best. Tasha is the best. Uh, I feel like we haven't talked about British mystery shows in a while.

No, no. I have not seen a great one in a while. I've been like starting a lot and tha thoom tho tho tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I, th. I, th. I th. I'm, th. I'm, tho, thi. to tho, tho, tho, tho, th. I'm, to, to, too, too, too, too, too, too, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I. I. I'm, I. I. I. I. I, I, I. I. I, I. I, I, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I, th. I, to. I'm, to. I'm, tos. tos. I'm, tose. tose. tose. tos. tos. tos. tos. to to tos. I'm, tos. I'm, t while. I've been like starting a lot and then stopping them because I'm not into them. I highly recommend the stranger on Netflix. I watched that. Oh did you? I think so, didn't I? The guys at the soccer? Yes, I did. I watched thi Netflix shows based on that guy's books and it was real bad. Okay. Yeah. I watched like the first two episodes of the five I think it was called. And I was like like like like like like like like like like like like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I, I, I, I, I, I was like, I was like, I, I was like, I was like, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I, the th. I, the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. thi, thi, th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I thi, the five, I think it was called. And I was like, this is dumb. I really like the stranger. It kept me guessing the whole time. Yeah, it kept me guessing too. I did actually like the stranger. Fine, I liked that.

I like that. I got that. I'm like, look at all the show. And I just like of that one. I'll think of it. Look back at your account. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really good. And in in absence of that, I'll just keep watching Vera. I haven't fucked with Vera, should I? Uh, yeah, yeah, I think you could like it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So the cop goes to May Morrison's like, hey, is her daughter Michigan? She's back there. She's fucking around drawing a bunny. It's not a bunny, it's a hair.

Anyway. Yeah. I did look at all this chocolate bunnies, and I was like, should I get a chocolate bunny around Eastertime? I haven't had one since I was a kid? It's weird to me that hollow. I feel like to cut it open. But there's something very rewarding about that hollowness of like biting into it and like...

Yeah, I don't know. You know what I like around Easter are those eggs that are filled with peanut butter, but like the big ones though, they're like mini football size and you have to slice them? Like a ham? Yeah, like a ham.'ve always got the worst peanut butter in there. I know, it's so like grainy and I don't, it's great. Um, lately Lucy has been asking me for hand cream. She likes to put hand cream on, but she calls it ham cream, which is really funny to me. And I'm kind of encouraging it where I'm like, would you put this on your hams or is it made of ham? And she says, no, on my hams. Oh, that's adorable.

Ham cream. And handporkers. Yeah. You hold him in your hands. Yeah. So then he goes and he wants to get a room for the night at the Green Man Man In. It is fucking party in there. They're great. They're singing body songs about the the land the landlord the landlord the landlord the landlord the landlord the landlord the landlord the landlord the landlord the landlord the landlord the landlord the landlord the landlord the landlord the landlord the landlord the landlord the landlord the landlord the landlord the landlord the landlord the land the land the land the land the land that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. It is fucking party in there. They're great. They're singing body songs about the landlord's daughter.

Who loves it? Like, that would actually be the most horrifying thing in the world to happen to you, you know? Not if you're down. Oh man, no, like a group of men. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. I was running on the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho th. th. Yeah, tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. that the. that that the. that that the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th running on the trail the other day and there were three men like sitting and standing near a bench and all of a sudden they all turned and looked at me which means one of them said something and I was like well this isn't this is like the worst. This is the fucking worst. I'm sorry that happened. Oh they all just looked they're allowed to look at me you know but I just been like that girl's that girl that girl that girl that girl that girl that girl that girl's that girl's that girl's that girl's that girl's that girl's that girl's got that girl's got that girl's got that girl's got that girl's got that girl's got that girl's got that girl's got that girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl's got that girl's got that girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl girl she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she's got she's got she's got she's got she's got she got got she got she got she got she got she got that she got she got that's got that's got she got that's got that's got that's got that's got that that girl she's got that girl she's got scary! So she loves it though. Yeah, I love that Brinicklin's like acting style is hands on hips.

Yeah, just put them up there. She is sassin. Yeah. I don't think her hands really leave her hips in this film. Not unless they're slapping a wall while she's naked. She has no cause to be naked. Sure she does. He can't see her. Yeah. You can hear them slaps though. The sound of tits hitting a wall is an unmistakable noise. I mean a cloth tit versus nude tit.

Ham cream. So they sing the body song, he gets mad, he goes outside. And there's just a field of people fucking. Yeah, like real close to each other too. It's a big lawn and they're all clustered in one spot and then there's a nude woman straddling a tombstone and sobbing. Oh my god I love this movie so much. Why is she doing that? She's just mourning. She's just to beieve. It's like sitting in the just to be there for seven days. It's it's so funny. Where's Eleanor? Oh just

straddling the grave. No mention is ever made of her again. We never see her again. The field fuckers are not talking about. Nope, and he's just like, oh for Christ's sake, but he would never say that because that's that's the vein. So he goes back into the inn and he's all pissed off and he goes up to his room. He's being a real dick. Oh no, after he eats his shitty dinner that doesn't have any uncanned vegetables.

He's being such an asshole about their food, yeah. Because what does he say? Like broad beans in their natural state are not tourquois. Fuck off. So he goes up to his room and then the guitar music starts and to try to the w-a-n-o-o-o-o-o-o-in, to-in, to-in, to-in, the-in, the-in, the-in, the-in, the-in, the-in, the-in, the-in, the-in, the-in, the-in-in-in, the-in, the-in, the-in, the-in, the-in, the-in, the-in, the-in, their-in, their-in, their-in, their-in, their-in, their-in, their-in, their-in, their-in, their-in, their-in, the the the-in, the-in, the-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-a-a-n'-a-a-n'-a-a-a-n'-a-n'-a-a-n'-a-a-n'-a-n'-a-in, niggin, niggin, niggin, niggin' the wall and inviting him to come say how do. Yeah, singing this song, she sings it for a long time. It's very sexy. Slap in the wall with her tetts and shaking her butt that's not hers. And smack in her butt and slap in the wall and he is so sweaty I have never seen a man so sweaty who was not sprinting I love the idea that like to show him being aroused because he's like he wants to go over to the room oh he's a virgin yeah I don't know I am laughing at that he well yeah he also he prays and when he's praying he remembers giving a sermon

at his church he's like is he remembers giving a sermon at his church. It's like, is he not allowed to jerk off, do you think? Probably not, that's a sin? Is jerking, it's a sin? Yeah, you're Catholic? No one ever told me jerking it was a sin. It's like one of them venials or something, is it? No, the vener- thinininin, is thin, is thin, is thin, is thin, is thin, is thin, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is he thi, is he is he thi, is he th, is he th, is he th, is th, is th, is th, is th, is th, is th, is th, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is he is thi, is he is thi, is he is thi, is thi. Is he not thi. Is he not thi. Is he thi. Is he not thi? Is he not thi. Is he not thi. Is he not thi, is not th family, but they didn't say it in like church or youth group or anything like that. No jerking it. No jerking it. Today I learned. I feel like he would have been a lot more laid back if he just rubbed one out every now and then.

Just like a good tug when it really calmed him down. Because he could have just tug it and gone to sleep you know. Because he could have just tugged it and gone to just to just their just their just their just their just to just their to just their their to just their their to just their to just to just to just to just to just to just their to just to just to just to just to just to just to just tooing it and gone tooing it and gone to just gone to just gone to just gone to just gone to just gone to just gone to just gone to just gone to just gone to just gone to just gone to just gone to just gone to just gone to just gone to just gone to just gone to just gone to just gone to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their tooing it and gone to to tooing it and gone to to to to to to to to to to to to sleep to to to to to to to to to to to to to're gonna cut his foot off you know. Akingly not touching the doornob the reaching for it. Oh God, it's so fucking absurd. He's like these are my inner problems. What's the, hold on I gotta look up a guy's name. I'm gonna eat this chocolate from last week's episode while you do that. Paul Giovanni is the guy who did the music in this movie. And I think like, for like original folk songs in a movie that sound like they might be historical on some level, like, he nailed it. Like they're, um, they just show up a lot. Oh yeah, yeah, it's almost a musical.

So we, we, like, he doesn't go and, and have sex. So the next day he's going to look for Roan Morrison at the school. And the boys are outside learning about the maple and they sing the song. Oh my god. And on that woman,there was a man and on that man there was a seed. Like the... Do the whole thing. Well first there was a feather it became a bed and then a woman then a woman laid on it that a man and then his seed and then he died and a tree grew. There grew a tree. One on a one another. I'm a home and one another. And the kids are doing this like kind. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'm a like like like like like like I'm a like I'm a like I'm a the the their their theun-tunnel. And the kids are doing- I can't stand this. The kids are doing this like, kind of like, I'm a choo-choo trade and I'm also humping dance. And they've got the, too-choo-hump and ju-choo-ho-in.

These kids are like 11, I want to be really clear. But they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have. But they have. But they have. But they have. But they ties are tied around their waist and at one point they're just shaking the and it's so lurid and just like this is and he's just watching like what's going on yeah that he walks into the classroom and the teacher's like and what does the maypole represent the fallus yeah yeah the penis and he just like explode he's so fucking mad about the filth that's filling these kids' minds. He's so mad that he erases the teachers' lesson on the board to write her name. Which I remember Nick Cage does in the remake too and I was like, God, what a fucking asshole.

But somehow it was a worse when this guy does it. Because Nick Cage you might think you might thage th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thin thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thi thi thin' thin' the the the the the the the the hea' hea' hea' the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi te. teateateateateateateateateateateateateat-a' tea' teat-hea' thiase Nick Cave. It's not. It's not. Why is this always such a problem? I don't know. So I love this scene because he's like chastising the kid the girls because they lie about Rowan not being in the class. He calls the teacher the worst liar of all of them. Yeah. And then the one like weird girl like it's like oh it's a b a a a a the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. he's he's he's is he's is he's is he's is is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is th. Why is th. Why is is th. Why is is is th. Why is th. Why is th. Why is th. Why. Why. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. thi. Why is thi. Why is thi. Why is thi. Why is thi. Why all of them. Yeah. And then the one like weird girl, like, it's like, oh, it's a beetle. I tied it to a nail and it's just gonna spit around and around until it dies. And the other girls are like, hey, he's like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Yeah. I mean, really, though, what the fuck is wrong with her. But I love this so much more because then, because then, because then, because then, because then, because then, because then, because then, because then, because then, because then, because then, because then, because then, because then, because then, because then I then I then I then I he like opens the desk and a raven flies out and I was like that's ridiculous there'd be a beetle tied doing it. Yes and that is ridiculous. I don't mean to look shame anyone but there's a girl in that class who

looks like she's been on tour with Zeppelin for like three or four years. I mean and she may well have been well cast as a school girl. Oh he's gonna say that would be age a to. A to. A to be a their a their a to be a their. A their. A their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's ridiculous. that's that's that's that's thi. th he's going to say that would be age appropriate for being a school girl with Zeppelin. You know. They were kind of scumbards. I do know that. And the rock and roll bands, well I never. Rock and roll bands in the 70s. Yeah.

So the teacher tells him that she's buried in the churchyard, but she like makes a big deal out of how it's not consecrated ground because there's no ministers here. Yeah, we got no churches. Yeah. They let all the churches go to the seed. Right. Because they don't believe in the God that he believes in. So in order to dig her up he has to get permission from Lord Summer Isle. God damn, I love it so th best haircut you've ever seen. Here's what I was not expecting was for him to look like that as Lord Summer Isle. Like an aunt? Yeah, like your dowdy aunt. With sideburns. With sideburns. And a kilt and she's just gonna do some needlepoint here on the couch so if you could just go get her a Budweiser. It's gonna be body needlepoint. Yeah, oh yeah, it's like um like pithy slogans, you know. I just did not think he would look like that. I thought he would have like a white wig. I thought he would look like Ellen Burston I guess. Or Soron from Lord of Rings. Yes, absolutely expected him to look like Soron.

No, he's just like a dude. Just a fucking guy with a silly ass wig. I think that's his hair. No. No. I think so. No, it is very silly, but it's very fun. It's like, it's like for 1973, it's like kind of hip. It's kind of hip.

He's got like, he then fucking burner hippies. There's just like hippie dudes with like page boy haircuts and mustaches everywhere playing lutes. Yeah, why wouldn't you? I know, they're heavy for one. Tuba Joe. He does what he's got a two. So Lord Summer Isle gives us some background on the island the island the island the island the island the island thejo who those what he's going to do. So Lord Summer Isle gives us some background on the island, which is that it was founded by his grandfather. Yeah. I think?

Founded by it? Yeah. Well, he came, he like, made it what it is today. He brought the spiritualism and stuff to it. Because this island is known for the growing fruits and vegetables that generally would not grow in such a climate. Which his grandfather developed, basically he developed the strains of the trees that would be able to grow in Scotland's climate. Yeah, I always think of him as like a Charles Darwin type. Okay. He'll be all fucking around with evolution and stuff. So he knew that it was science that made it possible, but he encouraged the idea that it was like

The old gods. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but what was his motivation for that? I think to give the like villagers something to get behind to keep this thing going. So you sort of like fruit production's not enough for them? Well, yeah, but you bring this whole idea of like they, by like doing these worshipful things and these rituals, you're bringing, you're the ones who are making this happen. Gotcha, they have skin in the game. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. We also forgot to mention that when he's taking his buggy ride up to the house, there's women and another women and another women and another flame inside you, bupadu-padu. Oh right, they're trying to get impregnated

without having to have sex. With fire. I'm jumping over a fire. Incredible. Christopher Lee's like, wouldn't you rather carry like a child of God than a child of like some acne-ridden or something? So fu, he's thiii movie. He is joyous. He's having so much fun. Or he's extremely drunk. I remember hearing years ago that this was his favorite role that he did. That's awesome. He really enjoyed doing this like, and this movie got fucking shit-paned when it came out.

I cannot imagine why. He's eating it up though. Yeah, he is for sure. But he's also like, yeah, there's just like a joy joy the joy joy joy the joy joy the joy the joy the joy the joy the joy there's joy the joy there's joy the joy the joy the joy the joy the joy the joy the joy the joy the joy the joy the joy the joy the joy the joy the joy th joy th joy that that that that th is just th. There's just just just that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's just that's just that's just that's just that's just that's just that's just that's just that's just that's just that's just he he th is just th is just th. th is just th. th. th. th. he's just he's just their is just he's just their their he's just th. the is just the. the. the. that's just that's just that's just th joy to everything he's doing. Like when he tells Sergeant Howie that his god had a chance and he blew it, he's like so joyful in saying that line. But the old gods aren't dead. No, they're not dead. What about Jesus? Oh, he's dead. Oh, he's dead. Yeah.

Fucking Jesus. But he's like, what am I the asshole? I have seen memes that have come out of it. Okay, so like people can vote on whether it's like, you're the asshole, not the asshole, no assholes here, or everyone sucks here. And I feel like this is a real everyone sucks here situation. Yes, because well, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. the. the. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. th. th. th. th. their. their. their. their. their. their. th feel like this is a real everyone sucks here situation. Yes, because well, they're murdering people to be fair. But are they? Yes, they murder him. Yeah, they absolutely 100% murder him. Okay. Yeah, yeah. But he's so, he sucks so bad you don't even feel bad for him? Like, even when he's doing his like, oh, it, like, his speech at the end of like, oh, the speech at the end of like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they, yeah, they, the, the, yeah, yeah, the, yeah, the, the, the, yeah, yeah, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they, they, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they let me in, I'm coming to join you. You're like, oh well, you don't even feel bad.

Uh, no, no, no. And I think you love, I almost feel like, you love God so much, fucking try it out, you know? It's not great. But it's only, you know what, being religious is fine, but you don't get to be dixt to other people about it too by burning him alive. But I feel like that's something that Midsummer definitely took from this movie of like the, you should feel for the person who's being burnt alive in a ritual sacrifice. And in both movies you're like, okay. Yeah, yeah. Oh, the bad guys win.

Which is interesting because in like the remake of this, they kind of do away with that a little bit because you do feel bad for Nick Cave. Nick Cage, even though he has previously punched a bunch of women in the face and kicked Lee Lee Sobieski through a bulletin board or something. But like, you do feel bad that he's getting burned alive a little bit. Like, because he's just hapless and stupid. For sure, which like, how he isn't stupid, he's just a dick. Yeah, he's just a pained mental. Yeah. He's the the th. He's th. He's th. He's just, th. He's just, th. Yeah. He's just, th. He's just, thin. He's just, thin. He's just thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin'. He's thin'. He's just, thin'. He's th. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. He's just th. He's just thin's just thi. He's just thi. He's just tha. He's just. He's just. He's just. He's just. He's just, tha. He's just. He's just tha. He's just just dick? Yeah, he's just a pain-a-g. He's just a pain-mast. Yeah.

And like... He just needs to rub on out. Neal Helli, nothing the tug wouldn't solve. But I feel like the, the women, like, I hate what they did in that Wickerman remake, where they're just like, oh,'s an island of women that hate men. Yeah, it's real low-hanging fruit. It's cheap. I was surprised to see that there were men on this island when the movie started. I'd assumed that this movie also was cheap about it.

No, this is just a movie of like people who are stoked and they happen to also be sacrificed in this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the their. their their their their their their their their their their their they's their their their they's they's they's they's they's their. their. their. their. their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the the th. Yeah, the the the th. Yeah, the the the the the the the the, yeah, they're pretty pumped. Can you stand out the tiggy? What's this now? But you do have to work. I can't wait to be old so I can be a dick to everybody. I don't think it's charming. You won't though. You'll keep being just like this. You do have to wear those weird animal masks though. Oh, I love them. I love them, but I don't want to put one on my face. They had them at Artis Supply in Squirrel Hill. They had a bunch of them and I almost bought them and it was like, what am I to do with these? If you ever want them, Ithe Silence of the Lambs episode. Yachter Lector. Dr. Lector.

We say that to each other regularly. That's awesome. God, I love to take the flame inside you song. It is, you're right, it's another musical number, though. There's at least four that I can think of off the top of my head. Oh yeah, and the whole ending of the movie is a musical number. That's what I'm saying, yeah, yeah. There's also just a chase scene where he's chasing the guy in like the big costume thing.

Uh-huh. And the music is so fucking funky. It's so funky. Wow. Bollabab. So fucking funky. Oh, it's so enjoyable. My next note says there's always somebody on this island who is ready to play a folk song on a folk instrument. Like so much as a like playing a jaw harp. You're like, what?

So he notices that the photo from 1972's Harvest Festival is missing. It's super missing and the walls like real dusty around it even that was last year. tha fu fu fu fu fu fu fu. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. missing. It's super missing and the walls like real dusty around it even though it was last year's photo. Not a lot of cleaie going on with the Green Man in. Yes not. And the landlord is like, hmmm he is the hamiest ham in this movie. He is practically looking you, the viewer in the eye, winking and saying, it broke. So Howie breaks into the, because he goes down and talks to the pharmacist slash photo developer. And he's like, hey man, do you know anything about these? Ah, I throw all the negatives away. Yeah, I don't remember what that girl looked like. Who with the what now? And then he asked him another question, and the guy just stares out of until he leaves

and it's like, that rules. That's very funny, yeah. So he later breaks back into the pharmacy. A kid wanted to say apothecary because I'm a dick. And develops the negative that he found. He's so multi-talentied. He forgot th also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also the the the the the hea. He's the the the hea. He's th. He's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thoe. thoe. thoe. tooes. the. thoe. th. thoes. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. toe. th. th. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. He. the.ented. He's really amazing. Yeah. Oh, I forgot that he also, before he went and saw Somerail, he went and visited the librarian who was also the administrator of the town. And that is Ingrid Pitt, who is famous for being in

Hammer of Vampire Movies. Oh, cool. With the boobies out. Yeah, and her boobies will be out later on in this movie as well. Yeah, she's in the bathtub. Oh, to get get get get to get to bea. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the the they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they. He the the the the the the the the the the they. He's they. He's they. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. He's thi. thi. He's thi. thi. toeea. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom. He's the. He's the. He's this movie as well. Ah. Yeah, she's in the bathtub. Oh, gotcha. Do you think he got so good at so many things because he didn't spend any time jerking it? It's like idle hands and the devil's work and all that? I'm less skilled than I could be because of. You could have been a great needle pointer by now. Oh, oh, I am. I. I. I. I. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I am. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. too. too. too. too. thi. too. joking. Oh wink? Looking directly into camera. Where is it that he sees the jars where it's like one is labeled four skins? Except the apothecary.

Is it? And then there's a four skins, rat brains. I was like, just regular brains. Just keep these segregated. That four skins jar was like a 20 gallon tub of foreskin. Just purple foreskin. I think they were like balloon knots, you know what I mean? Like cut off the end of balloons.

It was very gross. But it was just like how many wieners were involved in the cultivating of this? I do love that it was basically like yoled witchcraft store. Yeah, for sure. I guess if you don't have to put boy children in a the the their their the river or whatever they were doing in the remake of this movie, do you remember that they were just like boy children in a bag? So, yeah. What's the little, Neil Lebutt? Is that the director? Leal butt? Sure, it's but? Yeah. Le but? Le but? Yeah. Le but? Yeah. Le but? Yeah. Le but? Yeah. Le but? Yeah. Le but? Yeah. Le but? Yeah. Le but? Yeah. Le but? Yeah. Le but? Yeah. Le but? Yeah. Le but? Yeah. Le but? Yeah. Le but? Yeah. Le but? Yeah. Le but? Yeah. Lea but? Yeah. Lea but? Yeah. Lea but? Yeah. Lea but? Yeah. Lea but? Lea but? Lea but? Lea but? Lea but? Lea but? Yeah, the little, the little, the bu. Lea bu. Le bu. Le bu. Le bu. Le bu. Le bu. Sure, sure? Yeah, sure? Yeah? Yeah. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure, the. But? Yeah, the the the the the the the little bu. But? Yeah, the little bu. But? Yeah, the the little bu. But? Yeah, the little bu. But, the little bu. But, the little bu. But? Le. But? yeah, then we get to him chasing, so he finds out, he goes to the library and does a successful library check and it's good through Lou game and, sorry, library use. And he finds out that they're going, the May Festival they're going to do is based in this like, the fool, the hobby horse man,

and the man dressed as a woman. Right. And it's all this like spiritual stuff involved in that. And I cut you off when you were talking about him developing the photograph, but he realizes that there was no harvest the year before. Rowan was the May queen and there was like zero harvest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've all they've all their. their. their. their. their. And it's all their. And it's all their. And it's all. And it's all. And it's all. And it's all. And it's all. And it's. And it's. And it's. And it's. And it's. And it's. And it's. And it's. And it's. And it's. And it's. And it's. And it's all. And it's all. And their. And their. their. their. th. their. th. th. their. their. the the the the the th. the the the the the the th. the the the their. the th., yeah, yeah. So they've got a sacrifice, he reads that they have to do a human sacrifice to get the harvest back. And he's like, Roan. She's still alive. She's been chosen for sacrifice, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So he does the chase around town to the awesome

funky soundtrack. And he's like, I'm going to go into every house in this town, and he does. He does. And it's very funny. Like when that girl falls out of the closet, falls down dead and then starts laughing. The entire town is fucking with him. It's very funny. Um, I love it. This is where they got it wrong in the remake because like Nick Cage, now I can't do it. I'm so sorry. It's running around like ripping, he's losing. You know what I mean? Everybody is fucking with him. He's like take the masks off and they're like, what?

Yeah. Come on, take them off and they do it. They're like, ah, eh, ah. I love the guy who's cooking the big John Barley corn bread in the coffin shaped tin. Oh yeah. That's really cool. It's very great great British British British British British British British British British British British British British British British. or the guy who's like, you start getting these like voiceover things where he's like opening cabinets and people are telling what's in there and it's like, that's the salmon of knowledge.

And this costume is the salmon of knowledge. And then when he's like, when you see the salmon of knowledge, marching later, I laughed so hard at it. It's so janky. Those rubber fish masks are upsetting. Oh yeah? Yeah. Not your scene? No! No! No.

Fish don't that was your thing. Fish don't go on land. Sure they do. The salmon of knowledge. Knowledge. Knowledge of how to walk upright. Yes. And like he runs into Ingrid Pitt's bathroom, and she's just like laying at a tub naked,

like, hey. But the tiniest bathtub, it's like so uncomfortable bathing. She's like bathing in a litter box. She looks like a pin-up painting from like a gas station calendar. Are they like offering you a last out? Like if he had been like, all right. Let's just do this. They have been like, all right. See, see, see, see, see, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, and, they're, like, they're, like, and they's, and they's, and th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they's, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, they're, like, like, thi. thi. they're, like, like, they're, they're, thi. they're, thi. thi. they're, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, had been like, all right, fine, let's just do this, would they have been like,

all right, well. See, I think that that they were like testing him not to, like, that they would actually fuck him and give him the out, but to see if he has like, if he's able to resist temptations because that means he's done it in the past, you know, like how, because they need to know that he's never boned down before because that's important. It's very important. Yeah, that's how you get good fruits. And veggies. And veggies.

Um, so he knocks out the innkeeper. Like, I thought he killed him, but he seemed okay later. It's with that fucking heavy-ass canded that had the like hand of fate burning by his bedstand. Oh yeah, what was that about? It's this thing that's, I can't try what it's supposed to do, but you're like burning a human hand like a candle. But it does some sort of spellcraft of some sort. Whose hand was it? I don't know. Oh wait, I do know. It was that person who was in the casket. Oh, that's right. They had a stub for a stump for an arm. There you go. Look at you. I figured it out.

You were the mystery solver. And then they burned it on his, that I don't get. I still don't get it. But that was another time when they were kind of giving him an out. Because the landlord's daughter was like, all right, maybe we'll just take a little nap. But do you think you would just live there then? Because they fucked up his boat plane. Yeah, he could fix it. I'm sure. Look at all the other stuff he's fixed.

Yeah, it's fair. There's got to, are they just called boat planes? There's got to be a name for those. Okay, Google. What do you call a boat plane? What does a boat plane call? Oh, fuck. Okay, I didn't know that was here. So that's just been listening to us all along. There's, it's a backup recording. Oh, no.

Just write to Google, be like, can I just have the last hour? That really scared me. I'm sorry. I told you about it weeks ago. Yes, and it's gone, Alan. So yes, his seaplane, he convinced. Yes, seaplane. So yeah, he dresses up as the fool and joins the procession to throughout town. Right. It's interesting because I think the innkeeper has a ponytail and he's like got a very distinct... He's squared off in the back. Like how did he think no one would notice and obviously they know? They do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because Summeril keeps fucking with him because he's not dancing hard enough. Oh right. He's dressed as a woman at this time. It looks great. He has like this long black morticia wig,

and I was like, actually, maybe that's what I expected him to look like in this movie as Lord Sumerail. My friend Adrian dressed up as Lord Sumerile in the like the woman's garb, and it looks so good. That is a great costume. It was really great. Because the makeup people's heads off. Yeah. And they he sees that there's a hair that's riding in a cart and the swordsman chopped that hair's head off.

Yes. But it's just a honey ha ha times. Right., yeah. Okay, because they seem to react to it. Yeah. But I think, that'll put, that'll for his benefit? Yeah. Okay, gotcha. So eventually they get to the point where the ritual is going to happen and he sees Rowan up on the hillside in this cave. Yeah. And she's like, oh my God, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I they they they they they they they they get, I got, I got, I got, I get, I get, I get, I get, I get, I get, I get, I get, I get, I get, I get, I get, I get, I get. they get they get they get they get. they get. they get they get they get they get they get they get they get they get they get they get to get to get to get to get. to get. to get. to get. to get. to get. to get. to get. to get. to get. to get. to get. they get. they get. they get. they get. they get. they get. they get, I get, I get, I get, I get. to get. to get. to get. to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to. to. to. to. to. to. to get to get to get let's get out of here I'll take you through these caves and then they come out of the caves. And she's like, did I do it right? It's very funny. It's very funny and also like, how sad would you be if you were like I thought I was saving this girl. She fucked you. Whoops? She fucked you. Her mom's like you did a great job and her mom is like the postal woman woman who's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I. I's, I'm, th. I'm, th. And, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. Like, like, you did a great job! And her mom is like the postal woman who has been like putting him off this all time, so.

And this is where somewhere I will break, and he's like, everything that you've done, we've set it for you. And totally they have. They have manipulated his every move. Yeah. Which is also like, what if he had just like rode away using o'errs? Like, then what would have have have have have have th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. they thi. thi. thi. to to thi. thi. thi. thoomea. thi. thi. thoomorrow thoomorrow thoomorrow thoomorrow thoomorrow thoomorrow thoom-s thoome thoom? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. to to to to to to the. to thea. toea. toea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the Yeah, they would have had to figure something else out. Yeah, and you have to get another virgin who came there of his own accord. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So they dress him or undress him and then redress him and putting mustard all over his chest?

Yeah, what's that about? I don't know. All right. I wish they'd just dipped a soft pretzel and were broken with it. Alan and I had delicious soft pretzels yesterday dipped in mustard. It's on our brains. After we saw them mummies. Yes. Mummies?

Go see the mummies at the science center. Yeah, it's gone by April. Get in there. Yeah, go see. Go see it. What are you fucking waiting for? You'll get real upset and can't stop thinking about the Peruvian bag mummies. I was having a lot of thoughts about the ones that were found in the crypt in, uh, Hungary. Oh yeah, the ones that are definitely vampires? Yeah.

Oh man, that was a good exhibit. Yeah. Fine, shouldn't have taken Lucy. Ah, she was fine. Just too spooky. At least she knows. Yeah. When, she, she, she, she, she, she, she's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. thi. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the the the th. Yeah, the the the th. Yeah, the the the the the th. Yeah, the the th. Yeah, she'll be able to tell you about it. And my mother took me to see the mummies and told me about ham cream. I think Santa Claus was there.

My mom's friend Santa Claus. So they like tell him that they're going to sacrifice him and they... They're so nonchalant about it. Oh, yeah. They're like not, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they, they don't, they, they don't, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to, took, took, took, to, to, to, to, to, to, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. Like, like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to sacrifice him and they... They're so nonchalant about it. They're like not, they don't do, like Christopher Lee is not doing like a big sweeping declaration, he's just like conversationally telling him about it. Because he's been a dick and they're kind of just like, all right dick? you want to be a dick? All right, let's be a dick. This is what happens to Dix. Yeah, it's kind of like when in midsummer when they told Christian that like, yeah, you're paralyzed and you can't talk.

Yeah, suck it up. All right, Buttercup are going out there, let's figure this out. And he, in this, I think I really like Edward Wooder is an actor and he's really good. And he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th......... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th.'all, this is murder. Yeah. You're going to murder me. Yeah. It's like this like last ditch effort. Yeah, he starts yelling at them. Like he yells at Lord Summer Isle that he knows this will not bring back the fruits and vegetables. That he knows that the strain has failed.

Which I think he does. I think old gods. Right. I don't think. So what is he gonna do? Because then there's like the threat that Sergeant Howie yells at him is like, if sacrificing me doesn't work, you're next. You're gonna be sacrificed next year. And he's kind of like, across the bridge when we come to it. You know, like not upset by that. So I th I I I I I I I I th island. There apparently there's a sequel to this movie out there somewhere that's the Wicker Tree or something like that. I've not seen it. I wouldn't think so. Came out a couple years ago. Yeah. Oh a couple years ago. No, not too. The sea plane has

the seaplane has sailed. So the big dude who's been carrying everybody around in this movie carries him up into the Wickerman. Yeah, he steps out of the cave, he's on a hillside and just sees this enormous Wickerman. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's filled with cows and chickens and sheep. Those goats screaming were really upsetting.

Yeah. What the fuck? Was that a woman screaming? Like, what was that? That's what goats sound like. If you've never watched goats screaming on the internet? No, but I've never heard the... I mean, like, where they, they didn't really like beat goats, did they? No, but they probably just had audio of goats, like,

thanks, like, they'd get all this four-skinned somehow, I guess. I mean, granted, this is just my supposition of what- No, no, no, I'm enjoying your, I'm enjoying you telling me how we get recordings of goat screaming. You go on YouTube and just type in screaming goats. Yeah. There's a lot of funny videos. No, I have definitely, I definitely enjoy a screaming, the Lord is my shepherd. Yeah, it does a little psalm 23. He's so scared. Yeah, he's praying to Jesus, I mean like, Jesus, let's not do this right now, huh, guy?

Can I come to heaven please? You know, it's interesting because when, um, midsummer does sort of the same thing, like, in about the screaming of those goats. Like, I did not care a bit for Sergeant Huy, but those poor goats and the stuff. The chickens and stuff, yeah. And then that's kind of the same thing in the end of Midsummer. The screaming that bothers you is the, is Ulf and Ingummar, not Christian. Not that he can't care that he's burning. Yeah. Man, th th that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the same. that's the same. that's that's the same. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the same. the same. the same. that's that's the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. thii. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thea. the the the the the same. the same. the same. the same. the same movie, isn't it? It's very similar. How do you get away with that, Ariaster?

It's kind of the same movie. I mean, I loved it. Many people have made this movie. This movie has been aped a bunch of times. I guess so. Yeah. We're going to do all of them once again singing a big long song. A big long song.

And there's a lot of swimming, swinging pirate arms. Oh yeah, they are doing a choreographed number to it. It's great. They're so joyful. And I love the shot of the sun setting and the wickerman's head falling off and then you see the sun going down behind it. I thought it was, I think it's gorgeous. It is, but I also had a very strong reaction to the idea of standing underneath that burning thing. Because that head comes down, like, you don't have a lot of time to move.

Yeah, and they're right up against the cliff, the seawal. Where are you going? You know, you don't you th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th th. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thee theeeeea thea theeea thea theea thea thea theeea thea thea thea thea. th bad idea. But I also love that they're all kind of like silhouetted and still dancing. Yeah. Oh man. You think the crops came back? Oh for sure. Yeah, we've got good apples next year. Yeah, because he was a willing king, virgin king. Oh my god. That is 1973's the Wicker Man. It is. Do you want me to go first? First, to do what? To rate this movie. Of course I do.

Say it. Do you want to go to the ratings face? Yes. This movie is a ten. I knew you're going to say that. This movie is perfection. The fact that it was lambasted when it first came out is. The fact that it's two bananas. Yeah I think it was just two bonkers. Like to be fair it is. Oh for sure. Yeah but it's like do you remember Psychomania? the

Jim Robinson episode with the frog worshipping bikers on it. It's no more bunkers than that movie and I'm sure that movie was met with critical acclaim. claim. Oscar winner. Oh yeah, Best Picture 81. Or whatever. But I just think, like, I don't know, there's just something about this movie that just hits, it tickles me in just the right way. Like it's such a good, ridiculous. Anything in the soundtrack is fucking amazing. It's a lot of things you like, British people, bananas sacrifice, bad wigs or possibly real hair, titties, folk music, titties.

Folk music, yeah, it's really a perfect circle for you. Yeah, it really is. Yeah. What did you think of this film, The Wickerman, 1973? I liked it. I don't know why I dug in my heels about this not being a real movie, it's fine. I probably would watch it again. Okay. It's a little disheartening that everyone's an asshole, you know? Like, sure. It's hard to get behind anyone in this movie. Who are you rooting for? I'm Team Summer Isle. Right, but why? Just because they're less shitty? I just love like, that it's almost like what we do in shadows level, like evil, the thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, it's thi, it's the that it's almost like what we do in shadows level like

evil but so endearingly joyous about it. Yeah. But in that there are point of view characters in this he's our point of view character the victim is our point of view character like he should be sympathetic but he isn't. He's wholly unlikable. Yeah. Yeah. It's definitely a commentary on Christianity on Christianity. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna give. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the the the. the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th.'s wholly unlikable. Yeah. Yeah. It's definitely a commentary on Christianity. Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna give it an eight and a half. I enjoyed it. Yeah, I'd watch it again. That's so good. You know what? I'd watch the original, or the the original, the real Wickerman again, too. Just kidding. I will just watch that super cut. I the the the theyn. I's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'll. I'll just just just. I'll just. I'll. I'll. I'll just just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. Yeah, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'll I totally forgot about it how he takes that woman's bike at gun point. Like, get off the bike, Ock's gun.

It's so fucking ridiculous. I mean, it's so funny. I just want to be at the like pitch me like, oh, we want you to remake the Wickerman. I'm just like, oh, I have some ideas. Yeah, well do it exactly the same except it will be all women and he'll be so stupid and there will be like a flashback of a truck hitting a car and... I just, the bitch meeting, be like, all right, you know how we all hate women? So... You know how we all love Nick Cage putting on aftershave on a fairy, which is something

I think about all the time for no reason. I mean, that's so good. The bees. The bees. And he even does that like speech at the end where he's like, it won't bring back your honey. That's kind of they're doing in this movie, but you know, to greater effect. I mean in his defense there is a real problem with bees disappearing. It's true.

So plant some flowers that bees can come in. Is that going to help? We plant flowers? Yeah, yeah, we put like beebomb and stuff out so we can get bees and do honey business. I'm allergic. To bees? Yep. Both.

theymeat. Do you want to go to a little place that I'd like to call? Mailbag! I would love to go to a place that you call. Mailbag. We got- Was that me? Was that me saying it? Mailpack? We got an email that says, this is Samayle 2, 570. Okay.

I feel like this is going to be a threat and I'm nervous. I left a review on Podcast Republic that you read out loud. Yeah, we did. NGL, which I think means not going to lie. It means non-global, local. NGL for a moment, I looked crazy to my employees when I got giddy like a schoolgirl hearing you talk about how many times I've listened. Never would have imagined I could be a small part of such a famous podcast.

Oh my god, you so overrate us. Bless your heart, I love you. I hope to see your next live show. I will definitely catch a plane to go see you. No. Also sign me up for merch, not sure where to buy, but I want to do my part in supporting you. Buddy, it's the links everywhere. T-Public, searchware for World Fabulous. T-E-E-E-P-U-B, L-I-C. Had to think about it.

From New Mexico with love. Adios, Cowboys and Cowgirls. Jamie. Wow, Jamie, thank you. That's awesome. Famous podcast. Famous podcast. Slam Dunk! You know, I can't say slam dunk when I hi-fibe other people because they don't get it. Speaking of reviews on podcast republic, I looked before we started recording the episode, uh, because we have one that I hadn't read yet.

We got one while we were recording. Yeah, there's a new one that came hadn't read yet. We got one while we were recording. Yeah, there's a new one that came up. It's dated today, it showed up while we were recording. So I'm going to read them both, okay? I love it. Okay, this first one is from Tales from the Chris. Pretty good. Yeah, pretty good. A few years ago they followed me on Instagram and I'm glad they did. I love Alan and and Katie the and Katie and Katie and Katie and Katie and Katie and Katie and Katie and K and K and K and K and K and K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K Ka the the they. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. I their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'll their. I'll their. I'll today. I today. I to. I to. I today. I to. I today. I today. I'm today. I'm their. I'm their. I followed me on Instagram and I'm glad they did. I love Alan and Katie's banter, but you must learn that being fun is better than knowing things and yelling into the void when they get facts wrong. HASHTAG Savini watch. I want to tell you what I like what I like about this.

He's like, look. I'm not looking for them. They were looking for me. We liked a lot of people on Instagram. Yeah, we were like, who likes whore? You fall up, follow, we definitely spammed, huh? We were just getting our words out. Just putting our feet on the ground. Yeah. Well, it worked on Tales from the Chris. And I'm so glad it did.

I'm so glad we have to have ta ta to've had perfect vision, 2020. What's the next one? This one came literally in the last hour. I love it. Land, Swimmer, 1996. Five stars. This podcast is cool. Yeah. Can't hardly wait is the best movie. When are we getting a weekend of Burney's two episode? The answer is probably on our Patreon. I don't know. We're going to figure it out. You know, I honestly feel like that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi tho the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their thi thi the the. theat. theateoooooooooooooooooo. thoooooooo. thooo. the. the. the. is probably on our Patreon. I don't know, we're going to figure it out. You know, I honestly feel like that's kind of a horror movie because there's zombies in it. So I think we can do it at some point. For sure. We did can't hardly wait. We didn't claim that was a horror movie. You kind of did it, actually. Oh, we did get somebody a message to say that said, just listen to my first episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode episode. to to to to to to to just listen to my first episode ever. Cranardly, wait, I really enjoyed your podcast. Oh, buddy.

This might get weird for you. Oh, yeah, wait till you find out what we've been up to. Can I read one more review? I would love that. This is just a cavalier tooe. Oh my god, just like, I love it. Five stars on iTunes. Thank you. Love, love, love, Katie and Alan, Hart.

These two folks never fail to make me laugh. Listening to an episode is like chilling with two very witty and engaging friends. Oh, it's nice to have a horror podcast that can be insightful about the genre without getting pretentious. Who goes to you two? Oh, thank you. Definitely not pretentious. I would also say definitely not insightful. Oh, come on. Come on.

We have a t-shirt that says, being funny is better than being insightful. We finally sold one! Hey, thanks to whoever bought that shirt. I can't believe it took this long. We finally bought it. We didn't even buy it. So thank you for that. Thank you for that review. Thank you, Rezie-Dazi. Thank you, everyone.

And just thanks guys for being a friend. Yeah. I mean, we've been doing this for, this is our sixth year. Oh my god. And I feel like we are finally getting recognition for what we're doing. Yeah, we put a lot into this, but to be fair, we also haven't put that much into it, because we barely update our social media and rarely try. We just do this, this is what we're doing. Yeah, but I like the idea that you can just do this. thia'ea' thi, thii Alan's doing the burning a man alive and a wickerman dance.

Oh no, no, now he's doing the tou-choo but humping dance. We gotta wrap this up before Alan builds a maypole here in his attic. And on that man, there was a... Help! What? What? What move here we do it next week? Next week we are doing yet another shitty John Carpenter. Because why do a good one when you can do a shitty one? Am I right? We're building up to it. We're building up to it.

Because when we do the thing, I know, it's over. It's over. And we're never going to do the Halloween, which is we've discussed. Sure, but we've got big that movie, it's an action movie, you might hate it. We'll do it on our, uh, on our Patreon, yeah. We keep talking about and have done nothing with, so. It's tax season, calm down. Yeah, listen, all this shit's gonna get figured out around May. I'm busy.

So, uh, we are doing Village of the Damned, the remake of the 1960s movie. Kirstie Alley. Kirstie Alley Margammel. I fucking love Kirstie Allie though. Yeah, yeah. She's very funny. I don't think she's meant to be in this. No. Oh man, I just watched this for the first time, like a year or two ago. I'm stoked. I remember seeing it in the the the th th and then being like, what? So come back for more what's?

And so we continue March, our month of folk horror with Village of the Damned. Village of the God damned. the Goddam. Leave us in a review anywhere you can. We really love it and it really does help people find us. You can email us, wear all of amulance at Gmail.com. We're on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. If you really can't find our merch, I guess email us and we'll email you a link to it. Yeah, I'll respond to that email that they say.

Yeah. It's not just them. It's all you dummies. Just kidding, you guys are great. T-Public, T-E-E-P-U-B, LIC. Search for Wearwolf Ambulance. And go to YouTube. We've got those monthly updates where we tell you what we're gonna be watching. Get it. And I think that's about it. Yeah. Thanks for listening to another episode of Whereal the Ambulance.

Bye.