Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 282- Amityville Horror (2005)

Episode Date: May 25, 2020

In this week's episode, we're discussing "Amityville Horror." Oh, no, not the good one, the remake from 2005 starring Ryan Reynolds, Melissa George and Chloe Grace Moretz. That one. Special topics for your consideration include: Werewolf Ambulance beauty tips, Michael Bay and his Michael Bay energy, Steve Miller as a lifestyle, an absurd number of times to take one's shirt off (but if one has those abs, should one not??) and the age old question of what kills people: houses, or people? Want some more Amityville madness? You can listen to Episode 90- "Amityville II: The Possession." More Melissa George? How about Episode 70- "30 Days of Night?" Finally, more CGM? You can check out Episode 232- "Suspiria" in which we basically lost our minds. And if you just can't get enough of us, you can get our faces printed on a t-shirt, throw pillow and more at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance. If our faces aren't doing it for you, may we suggest Brian from "Wings"?? Have you seen this one? What did you think? Let us know your thoughts at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Twitter @werebulance or on Instagram @werewolfambulance. You can also email us for our segment "MAILBAG!" at [e-mail] and if you're feeling super generous, leave us a rating and a review on Apple podcasts or wherever you can. Or hey, just tell a friend about us. Thank you for helping us continue to grow.  Theme music by Aaron "Toxic" Mortimer SoundCloud- https://soundcloud.com/toxic_dsm Contact- Facebook (ToxicDSM) or Instagram (toxic_dsm) Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast. 

Hey Katie. Hi Alan. How are you? Making it through man. Making it through, you know, you know what I'm saying? I do. I do know what you are saying. You have to keep living. L-I-V-I-N. Yeah, I'm just gonna start talking like a hippie for the 70s. Just keep it all, you know what I'm saying? I do know what you are saying. You have to keep living L-I-V-I-I-N. Yeah. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I to to-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I th to to th th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the-I the-I to the-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-K-K-K-K-K-K-K th th th-K th-K H H A th-Kkkkk-Kk-Kk-Kk-h-Kk-A th-Kk-I th-I th-I th th th to keep living, L-I-V-I-N. Yeah, I'm just gonna start talking like a hippie from the 70s. Just keep it all, keep it all. I think it's time you reinvented your aesthetic. I want you to be less Norwegian black metal more Steve Miller band. Okay. All right. All right. All right. I know someone's aunt who fucked Steve Miller. Thanks so much for listening to another of it. I can't remember who it is though.

I love that the file card your brain pulled just said, friends aunt, Steve Miller fucking. And that's it. The rest of it's just smudged out. Katie, before we get started on in this episode, I would like to thank a listener. Okay. We were sent a care package by listener, Ashjacks 15.

Ashjacks 15. What's in it? It is they sent us four coffee mugs. What? One of each design for both of us. There's two different designs. One says the shiny by Stephen Kang and it has a man with a I think lightballed head holding an axe. Uh-huh, uh-huh, I like that. And the other one is a big grimacy pumpkin face that says, we're all pumpkin head a little bit. Okay, so I didn't realize when you sent me the picture, what was in the package, that there was a set for each of us,

because I really thought I was gonna have to twist your fingers over that pumpkin head one. Because the shiny is good, but the pumpkin head is great, because I said it. They were kind enough to send us one of each. What the hell? Why are you so nice? What happened to you to make you this way? And why to us? And why to us? If anyone, if anyone deserves it, it is absolutely not us. Thank you so much. That's incredibly kind. But they also sent us face masks that have the were were were were were wwil wa wa wa wa the wa th. th. th. the w. th. the w. th. their th. their th. th. their th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. They th. They th. They're th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their their th. th. their thi. thi. I te. I te. I. I. I. I. I just. I just. I just. I. We just. te. I. te. te. te. te. te. te. their. the. But they also sent us face masks that have the Wearewolf Ambulance, Wearewolf and Ambulance in our logo. Oh, that is amazing. I feel like I can't wear that myself because it's like jerking it to your own band. But I bet Rob will wear it. I'm going to wear it with a t-shirt and a pin and carrying around the banner.

You mean our eight that we banner, whatever we've got, that we can't even use anymore because we can't make videos. We'll be back to making videos soon. We can wear the mask, we make the videos safe. I have to say though, I have no new ideas for videos. So. I just want a real long video of us highfiving over and over. I do it. But thank you so much that that that that that th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that that tho tho that that that that that that we can't that we can't that we can't that we can't that we can't that we can't that we can't that we can't that we can't that we can't that we that we that we that we that we that we that we that we that we that we that we that we that we that we that we that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. that that. that. that. that. thi that. that. that. that. the. that. the. the. the. that. that. the. thi that that that that thatfiving over and over. Yeah. I do it. But thank you so much for sending us these amazing gifts.

Thank you. That's just so sweet and so kind of you. And just it totally made our days. Thank you. Ash Jack's 15. And I'll be having a contactless drop-off giving Katie Harris. Yeah, I gotta get you those weed gummies. You can cut that. My old manness when you sent me a text that had weed gummies in it, I was like, are the feds watching? Oh, God. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have put it in. I should have called it something else.

Tide pods. I got tied pods for you. You're gonna leave all that in? You're gonna leave all that in? That's up to leave all that in? You're going to leave all that in? That's up to you. I talk about weed all the time. That's up to you. Yeah, fuck it. We're rebels. Yeah.

But yeah, that's, oh man, so nice. So kind. Oh my god. And should we mention the AV Club show out? Hey guys, we were on the AV Club this week and we both literally threw up. I like that it's like for other podcasts, they just blow up and it's like, great for you, you're so famous and you have 15 episodes. And we've been closing in on 300 and found ourselves in the AV Club and literally were like, oh my God! I had this like extreme reaction of like, look at me, don't look at me.

Oh, but that was really nice with them. Oh my god, that was so dope. I was like shaking. I was like, Rob, Rob, Rob, come here and look at this, Rob, look at this, Rob, rob, rob. It's nice to get recognized, not only in Finland, but on the AV Club. And let's not forget Taiwan, where we were briefly number three in the film reviews category. Yeah. Quickly fell out of that.

But Taiwan, if you're listening, I'm into the Unilions. Oh, all right. Yeah. They're like, they seem like lovable losers losers and I'm into that as a sports fan What league was that monkey team that I really like the logo that's that's the same one? It's the Cpbl the Chinese professional baseball league that's the Rakuten monkeys their logo is amazing. I know it's great. I don't know shit about baseball, but that logo was ti. Yeah, you know a lot. their. their. their. their. their their their their logo. their logo. their logo. their logo. their logo. their logo. their logo. their logo their logo their logo their logo their logo is their logo is their logo is their logo is their logo is their logo is their logo is their logo is their logo is their logo is their logo is their logo is. I's their logo is their logo is great. I's their logo is great. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I'm. I's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. the th. the the the th. the the the th. Yeah, you know a lot about logos. You know what you like. Speaking of, what are we doing this week? A movie you suggested, right? Yep, that's on me.

Yeah. It's called, how many times can Ryan Reynolds can Ryan Reynolds take off his shirt in under 90 minutes? And the answer is a bunch. I thought it was called, yo Ryan Reynolds, you gotta gotta pull them jammy bottoms up. Ryan Reynolds, I see the top of your peeper, and I'll see your bum crack. Yeah, it was all like a wishful penis that was holding those pants on at one point. He is fucking, he looks comedically stacked in this movie. It's like, he took his shirt off and I was like, what?

What? Sir, I lived through the 70s. That's not what people look like. He also, Ryan Reynolds is 29 in this movie, looking like a grown-ass man. And now he's a grown-ass man who looks 29. What is happening there? It's the Ryan Reynolds paradox. I think he's bathing in baby's blood. Well, you know, whatever it takestakes to be beautiful, I guess.

Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, that's why I do it. Right. That's why I just keep just pricking Lucy's finger and squeezing it into a vial for you. I just want to look a little younger. Just a couple drops. Well, she's getting older, you know, it sounds potent. Oh, Amityville Horror, the remake, 2005. Remind me why you picked this. Because I thought it'd be funny.

All right. We love shit-talking a remake. Sure. But... As everyone does. I have, I only saw the original Amityville horror once, and it was many years ago, and I have to say I don't really remember it. So can you tell me, is this pretty similar, like is this plot why is similar to that? No, this is not. No, this one, it diverges wildly from the source material. Okay. From that movie. In the book? Yeah, yeah, from the book. apparently there was a lawsuit pending from George Lutz because he called the movie Drivel? This movie? Yeah, yeah, this movie goes hard in on George

Lutz. Wait, so this really happened? Well, I mean, huh? Huh? Okay, can you give me an a EL.I. 5, as the kid say. What is that? It means explain it like I'm five. Which is a reference to the American office? But people use it on like Reddit to give me like a good overview of, like I'm a five-year-old, of the Amityville incident. So there was a murder in that house. Ronnie Defoe killed his family and claimed that he did it because a demon told him to.

So that really happened. That really happened. Oh damn. And then the Lutz family did move into that same said house. And they stayed there for 28 days and then ran and left all their shit in the house. Saying that they had experienced demonic possession, Poldergeist, whatever it was. Very similar to like the conjuring story too, like those seem like very similar stories. I don't remember a goddamn thing about that except that I assumed that the dad was jerking it in that room full of haunted objects. You don't remember the well-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-s, th-o-s, th-s, th-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-s, the tho-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-s, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, th. th. tho-s, tho-s, tho'-s, tho'-s. thereeeease, tho'-s. thereease, tho'-s. tho-s. tho-s. tho-s, the well-known game everyone's played hide-and-clad? Yeah, hide-in-clap? Yeah, it's a dope game. The Warren's got involved. Okay. And that's how like, and the

the Amityville story like really took off. This was a big story when I was a kid. Because like the movie was a big deal and you know, it happened in like what, like, like, like, like, 79 or whatever?????? the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I, I, I, I, th, I, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi-in, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like, like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi, like, thi, like, thi. And, thi-a, thi. And, thi-a, thi-a, thi-a, like, like, like the movie was a big deal and you know, it happened in like what, like 79 or whatever. So yeah, I was a child. So the first movie, what came out when? Let me see. I think the first movie came out in like 79 or 80? Let's see. So 79. Okay. So the events must have been a little earlier than, there's two trains of thought on this, th. th. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, so thi, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, thi, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi. So, throwne. So, thrown, thi. So, thi. So, their, thi. So, their, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, th earlier than, there's two trains of thought on this, is that they actually had a demonic possession in the house, or that the family actually got way in over their head financially and fled to get out from underneath of it. But like, demonic possession isn't going to sell that house, you know what I mean? How are you going to get out from under it? Well just say you're never going back there because because because because because because because because, because, there, their, their, their, their, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, their, their, th, th, their, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, the the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, never going back there because there's demons and stuff. Yeah, but you still own it. And then write a best-selling book and get a bunch of royalties from it.

Oh yeah, that'll work. Yeah, that's good. I'm a financial advisor. Why the fuck didn't I think of that? Because you're not a financial shyster. Yeah. Scared money don't the youngest, yeah. There's a documentary called My Amityville Horror, which is about that dude, like maybe five,

ten years ago when it was made, and he's fucked up for life because of this shit. Yeah, so it's, I mean, whether it's real or not, it had consequences. Sure, sure. Yeah. So, but there's a lot of stuff in this movie, the 2005 one, that is not in any of the lore. They claimed that new shit came out, but that's why George Lutz sued them. And he's like, they never talked to anybody in the family. Yeah. Yeah. When the first, like, the first card in the movie says based on the true story instead of a true story, which I was like, that's a little

presumptuous Ohio State University. But now I understand that it really was a big deal and I'm an idiot. So, fine. Yeah. And I think, no, I wasn't agreeing that you're an idiot. No, no, that's fine. I agree. I that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a great. I that's a great. that's a great. that's a great. that's a big. that's a big. that's a big. that's a big. that's a big. that's that's that's th. that's that you're an idiot. No, no, that's fine. I agree with a big deal. Yeah. I remember I was probably like 10 or 11, when my best friend at the time was reading the book. And like, we went on a camping trip and he was like reading parts of it too many. It scared the shit out of me. Oh, poorthe girl who, but when we do, the family like catches a glimpse of her at one point and it looks like a pig's head with glowing red

eyes and staring at him through a window. Yeah, I thought Jody was a pig. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Is it, is there a pig in the original movie? I sort of remember that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's some all like illusion the their there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's their. There's some their their there's some their their their their their their their their their their their their their their pig. their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. thi thi thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi some like allusion to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this movie follows the Lutz family. Yeah. Who's Melissa George from 30 Days of Night? Oh, I thought I recognized her. Doing an American accent again. Holding on to it with tooth and nail. Uh, she did all right, honestly.

Yeah. Yeah. We love Australians being American. It's so fun for us. Like we're so much better at doing accents. Yeah. I got very excited that someone suggested we do a wear-off ambulance t-shirt that's I'm a for Beazio.

I make it a Petezio. Oh, my people. Oh, my people. Ryan Reynolds as George Lutz. Yeah. And the other like two notable characters are Chloe Grace Morets. As Chelsea, this was her first movie. She is one, cute as a button, and two, doing an excellent job, I thought. She's great.

She's really good. You can tell like that kid is, I mean, obviously I have the hindsight of 2020. What? I have the, whatever. She's great. You can tell she has like real charisma. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. She's, I don't, I doubt you've ever seen it. There's a movie called Kickass.

I've heard of it. She's in playing a young girl that swears constantly and it's, she's fantastic in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So when she's dropping sea bombs, you're like, what was the movie Susperea. Oh, that's right. She's in the very beginning of it. Yeah, I forgot about that. Where she's all tripping out. Yeah. Would you say it was not Tigger and Pooh? Yeah. My friend's Tigger and Pooh? We'll probably someday watch. The other person is Philip Baker Hall, which I think has been in... My friend Sigurren Pooh. We'll probably someday watch.

The other version is Philip Baker Hall, which I think has been in movies that I've seen. I think he's in like Magnolia or something. Anyway. I never saw that. What's that? I know that's something that I should have seen but haven't. Uh, it's a Paul Thomas Anderson movie that's like three hours long. Nah. It's good. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever. What are you gonna do? You can't watch them all. And frankly I'm not going to try. I don't think you should. Did you see that Michael Bay was a producer in this movie? I did. And I was like, oh yeah, that timing wise that lines up. Yeah. This movie is so of the time, just like everything about it screams

mid-2000s. It does not scream 1974 where it's supposed to be said. No, no, not in the way it looks and also just the way this movie, it's like so exquisite in its lack of subtlety, you know? Which I feel is very of the time, like, between, between like 2003 and 2013, every movie looked like this, I feel. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. This, it's also the same, I guess the same production team that did the Texas Jainsaw Masker remake? We did that, didn't we? Yeah, it's not the worst. It's got a, what's her face in it? Oh, Jessica Beals running around in those really low-cut jeans. Yeah, that's right. She's wearing the Ryan Reynolds collection, I guess. And it's got a, Arle Irmi being a nasty boy. Oh, that's right.

Yeah. God rest his soul. Ah, good night, sweet prince. I just poured some beer out on the floor. Don't, that's your home. Oh, that's right. Damn it, Arlea, Ermey. What's it done? So, also we have done, we've, the only Amityville, too.

Which again, I remember nothing about except a brother and a sister fucking, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's gonna stop with you. And the kid who kills his whole family, because that follows the Defoe's. That's the prequel in Amityville too, is the prequel to one. Wait, okay. And it's got a fucking Polly from Rocky and it as the mean dad. I love him. You know what I hate a mean dad though. I get so stressed out by like angry dads. I can't. Oh, then you're not going to enjoy the movie we're about to talk about. No, I had a tough time with it. This is why I married a person who like literally never raises his voice. Oh, yeah, I've known Rob for 10 years. I've known Rob for 10 years. th. th. Yeah, I've th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've the th. I've the the th. I've th. I've they. I've the they. I've the th. I've the th. I've the th. I've the th. I've th. I've th. I'm th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. the thr- I that thr- I that thr- I thr- I get that th. I get th. I get've known Rob for 10 years. I've never, like, I've seen him get angry, but he's never yells. He's never yelled at me in almost 15 years. And I have deserved to be yelled at, genuinely.

Now, he's the best. Ryan Reynolds is like, also the best at the beginning, I guess, or whatever, because he's just trying to fuck Melissa George. Which you're supposed to find shoo shshsh shsh shsh shsh shsh shsh shsh shsh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, to find to find to find to find to find to find to find to find to find to find to find to find to find to find to find to find to find to find to find to to to to to to to find schmoopy and I find a repulsive. I can't believe they didn't give Melissa George Farah Fawcett feathered hair. Yeah, she looks very modern. She has like, yeah. Yeah, she looks straight out of the mid-2000s.

Yeah, it's funny too, because in the original original it's James Brolin and Margo Kidder are playing these roles. I love Margo Kidder. Sure yeah she's great. I saw someone today that sent us a request for sisters and then almost immediately was like everyone yeah we're good we've done two Margo Kidders we did that and she's in um Black Christmas too which I absolutely love her and. Oh she's amazing in that The whole phone call scene and all that times, yeah, she's great. But it's just like such a, you know, a divergence from that casting to this movie where they're just like these two absolutely like gorgeous human being. Like Ryan Reynolds is fucking absurd looking. Yeah. I mean, he in general is not for me. But like that is like, what's just like, what is like, what is like, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the, the whole, the whole, the whole, the whole, the whole, the whole, the whole, the whole, the whole, like, like, like, like, like not for me. But like, that is like, what's just like, what is your body? Like, what are you doing? What is happening here?

I don't, and also how did Dan Stevens steal his body for the guest? I don't know. In the guest, they like tease you with it. In this movie, they are literally just like flattening your face into a Ryan Reynolds perfect six pack and your nose is like getting smashed back and starting to bleed. And you're like, please let me breathe. I cannot breathe. He's like wearing his pants like he's fucking genuine. Like, calm down, buddy.

Nobody can do that but genuine, okay? I love how much we reference genuine on this show. I love how many of our listeners are like, I know that one song I guess, from that movie with the other guys with the abs. What movie is that? Um, what's the movie about the male strippers? Oh, uh, Magic Mike. Right. I watched it at a, um at a Bachelorette party and was just so fucking mean about it. I just got real real real drunk with like Kason and Christina

and we kept saying like, how is this a movie? Ah! I can't wait to do that for a bonus episode where we get drunk and watch magic mic. When we can be in the same room together again, Let's get soup, soups drunk and watch Magic Mike. Into it. Okay, we have not done that since Grabbers, which was like episode 25. I still look at the picture of us, the post getting pretty hammered in mask in my kitchen. That was fun.

That's fun. Oh, God, that made me so sick though. Plum cordials. Easy going down, easy, easy, easy, easy, easy, to up up up up up. Easy, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to, to, to, to, to, to, to to th. thia, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Wea, thi. thi. Wea, thi. Wea, thi. Wea, thtogers. Wea, thi. Wea, thi. Wea, thi. We's, thi. We's, thi. We's, thi. We's, thi. We, th. We, th. We, th. We. We. We. We. Wea, th. We. Wea, th. Wea, th. Wea, th. Wea, th. Wea. We cana. We cana. We cana. We cana. We can't thi. tha. We cana. We cana. tha. We have tha. We have thi. thi. thia. We have thi. We have thi. We have thi me so sick though. Plum cordials. Easy going down, easy coming up. All right. We got to talk about this. Right, we see the crime at the beginning. We see the murders. Yeah. Of a guy who looks very much like Charles Manson rock here on the house,

killing everybody. I have a note here when they, she's looking at him in the newspaper clippings I was like, oh he has sexy Charles Manson vibes. Who does the sexy Charles Manson? I like if Charles Manson were sexy. He's like an upgrade to Charles Manson. I'm following you. Yeah, and then they buy the house that they can't afford but they're going to make it work. Right. And the house is gorgeous. Absolutely it is a dope house and it's got a

boat house where George can keep his speedboat. Is this? There's a scene where they're like, oh it's got a boat house. Like everyone's supposed to be work? Oh, a boat house. That's something we're going to have to maintain? A boat house? Oh, here on the lake? A lake? A lake? A lake? A lake? A lake? A the lake? A the lake? It? It? It? It? It's a the lake? It's a the lake? It's? It's a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho? It is a tho? It is a tho tho thooooooooo thooooo thooo tho tho tho tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th tho. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thoooooooo thoooooo thoooooooooooooooo thoooooooooooo thooo tho tho we're going to have to maintain. A boat house, huh? Here on the lake? Blomb when they show the boat, I was like, what? Calm down! Literally it's on a lake. I want to, yeah, that's wherever the fuck that is, it's gorgeous. I also like, it's Long Island. I also like with they're, um, they're looking through the house and the realtors, they're like kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here on, here on, here on, here on, here on, here on, their, here on, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the're, um, they're looking through the house and the realtors, they're like kind of in a room and the realtors standing in the doorway to the room, and she looks behind her and sees like a shadow passing a wall and she's just like nothing to see here. Like, how is the realtor not shitting your pants? Well, what's the realtor's react? Oh, fuck! we! we go! Oh, we we we we we we go, we we go, we go, we go, we, we, we, we, oh, th! Oh, th! Oh, th! Oh, th, th, th, th, th, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, the, th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the th way though like as a human being? Yeah. Also I guess there's no disclosure laws in the state of New York. Apparently since she doesn't tell until the very end and they've already kind of been like yeah we'll buy it and

she's like oh well well. Oh I do I do have a note that I just had to figure out what the fuck I was talking about. It's when we first are introduced to Ryan Reynolds and the family and we have to figure out if he's a good guy or not and he wants the kid to call him whatever he wants and the kid says crap monkey fart. Yeah, that made me laugh. You like crab monkey fart. Yeah, that's good.

Yeah, that's good. I' that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's good. Yeah, that's up the rally. I'll tell you what I don't like is a happy family before the storm montage. I just don't like it. This, oh god, this was giving me so many of those like, those William Castle remakes that we've done and like... That's exactly right. Like the early to mid-2000s, yeah. Ugh, not, oh man. Raw Digga, that's the woman whose name we can never remember. It's raw digger.

It just came to me. It's a 13 ghost that she was in? Yeah. Well, she's literally just there to like shriek. Her and fucking Monk. Love Tony Shaloo. So we get the history of the house was built in 1692. Wink, wink, nudge nudge. Isn't that the Salem Witch Trials here? Oh, I think it might be. I think you're right. It's pretty far from there, though. Isn't Long Island pretty far from Salem?

It's like hours driving anyway. Yeah, for sure. Just checking. But not flying if you're a witch. Oh, true. As the witch flies, I guess it's going to be faster. Um. I mean, he fucking finds the clock in the basement that stopped at 315. And I was like, movie, what is going on? Right, it's got to be stopped at some time. It's like one of those clocks with the numbers that flip.

It is going to be stopped at some time, but he looks at it like, huh? Like, what did you think it was going to say? It's gonna say, say ah time, that's all I'm saying. And then we get before we get at the moving in montage, we get my favorite line in the movie which is houses don't kill people, people kill people. He's not wrong. So is that the slogan for the National Homeowners Association? It's a little bit on the negative, but I mean, it'll work.

So they move into the house, and there's immediately a fucking scene. It's very sexy, so I'm not that into it. Did you feel that these two actors had any chemistry together? Um, no, I think they both just were trying to out pretty the other. I think they were both just posing at all times. When they were fucking, I kept thinking that both of them were making like, oh what's fucking like, oh what's f-uh-fucking? Oh, oh, oh, yeah. Like, yeah.

It was like, it was the faces that someone would make it. He would bust out laughing while you were having sex with him if it happened. Immediately lose your boner. Which happens to Ryan Reynolds because he sees a little girl hanging by a noose. Question, why? Settlty. I don't know. She wasn't even hanged. She was shot. She was shot. She wasn't like, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th like, th like, to like, to like, to like, th like, th like, th like, to like, to like, yeah. It, yeah. It, yeah. It, yeah. It, yeah. It, yeah. It, yeah. It, yeah. It, yeah. It, yeah. It, yeah. It, yeah. It, yeah. It, to. It, to. It, to. It, to, to, to, to like, to like, to like, to like, to like, to like, to like, to like, to like, to like, to like, to like, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. It was like, thi. It was like, thi. thi. thi. thi. It was hanging by a noose. Question, why? Subtlety. I don't know. She wasn't even hanged. She was shot. She has literally a bullet wound in her forehead. Oh, that's so stupid. I can't wait. I mean, I will say that that opening scene where he's shooting the family is very upsetting. It's scary. I don't like that it's doing that flashing thing because that makes it hard for me to watch to to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to watch to to to to to the to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I thi to to to to to thi. I don't to to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. I don't th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I. I. I th. I th. I the. I thi. I thi. I thi. I don't. I don't. thi. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the.'s scary. I don't like it. It's like I don't like that it's doing that flashing thing because that makes it hard for me to watch

because I'm an old person. Yeah. But like that that like killing the whole family scene is good and scary. That's all. And you know, there's like weird stuff about those murders like nobody like he shot was it five people and no one they were all the kids and all their... their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their. their. their. their. their. th. their. the th. th. th. th. the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. th. th. th. th. th. th. all asleep. You have four kids and all the, and his, both his parents. Oh, okay. And they were all asleep while it happened. Wow. Nobody woke and he was shooting them with a rifle. Oh my god.

So it's like, there's definitely weirdness to those murders, but yeah, it's, oh yeah, yeah, watching a whole family get killed is an upsetting thing. But then when they like really just throw Jody at you to like you just see her so much that there's no effect to it. I mean that's yeah like I was saying like the original one like she's a there's a rocking chair that's rocking on its own and that's how we're like oh fuck there's a kid there. Oh no and in this one they're like hey to they see they're they're they're they're they're the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they. the. the. the. their their their their they. their their their their their their their. their. their. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. they. they. the they. the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the. the the the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. no. And in this one they're like, hey, hey, hey, did you see this? Did you meet our friend Jody? She's just right here and she's like, hi. Hi, Mrs. Lutz, can I put her a cup of sugar? For hell? For hell. We're making a devil's food cake. It's so, ugh. It's just, you know. I also loved Billy Lutz, played by Jesse James.

Jesse James, oh no. Who seemed like a kid who would have picked on Beavis and But-Head? Yeah, yeah, he looks like he'd run with Todd from that show. I don't like praying. Prang's dumb. Dad died. Right, oh right. So George is their stepfather because their father has died, which just like, it it seems like their mother's being largely insensitive about, I don't know. She's trying to fuck that Reynolds. Yeah, I mean, kids. Look at him. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the thi the's like th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It th. It th. It th. It's th. It's like th. It's like th. It's like th. It's like th. It's like the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. th.. She's trying to fuck that at Reynolds. Yeah, I mean, kids, look at him. I have a no idea that just says how long till someone says, you're not my real dad.

Not long. Doesn't take long. Luckily, this movie is only an hour and a half long. Yeah, it is pretty quick. And it's, I will say it is action-packed. OK. Well, there's no plot movement between them moving in and moving out except just spooky stuff happening. So George immediately becomes a dick when he moves into the house.

There's no like subtle ramp up of demonic possession or whatever the fuck it's supposed to be. I'm cold, I'm to punch your kid in the mouth. There's just like, boomf. He also is doing like, to demonstrate that something is not right with him, he just is making this like extremely stoned face where he's like, what? He's like a stoned person that you just told that they need to go home. And he's like, what? And the blood-red contacts don't help too much either. That's probably why I thought that.

I will say in Ryan Reynolds' defense, between 2005 and now he's become a much better actor. I thought he was fine for what this movie was, like for what was written for him, I thought he was doing the best he could. Same with Melissa George, honestly, thi thi thi thi thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thoom. thoom. the. And thi. the. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that thoom. And tho. And the. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, the. And, the the. And, the thea. And, the thea. And, thea. And, the thea. And, thea. And, the the the. And was written for him. I thought he was doing the best he could. Same with Melissa George, honestly. I felt like they were both just doing the best they could. Yeah, it reminded me a lot of, again, that conjuring movie where they had like a stellar cast and then, mm-mm, not so much.

Just nothing to work with, yeah, yeah. So he's a dick. Dad's a dick now. Can I, um, can I tell you which character I really did like? Who's that? Lisa the babysitter. Oh my god. I love that she shows up wearing a long-sleeved bikini top. Like, it's the croppiest of crop tops. Hey, do you, uh, do you she gonna make out with this kid? Is that going to happen?

Doing bong rips in the bathroom, like, who travels with a bong? Nobody takes a bong anywhere. A bong is for your house. She didn't even put a lid on it when she put her back in her bag. Shipped it in there. She's the worst child care provider, which is actually kind of funny, and she even says, like, I'm terrible at this. I'm just real hot. Yeah. But like, so she tells the kids about how the family, the Defeos were killed in the house before they lived there. And when the parents find out that the oldest child knows, they're like, what?

And I was like, were you anticipating that no thi knows they're like what? And I was like were you anticipating that no one in the town would ever tell them like they'd never go to school they'd never find out? What were you fucking thinking? Nope they were not thinking. No. I was I was real bum when that little baby boy got told that news though. Yeah. That little baby boy is also a little button. He is very cute. He really is. Do you want to talk about what happens to Lisa? Lisa tells them that the closet in their room where the boys were killed is where Jody was killed. Right, because she used to babysit for that family. Exactly. So she, like, her and Jesse James, what's his name? His name is Billy? Billy. Get into like a, I dare you to go in that closet to go in to go in that that that that to go in that that that that the c. to go in the c. the c. to go in the c. the c. the c. to go in the c. to go in to go in th. th. to to to to to to to to to to th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. te. te. tell. tell. tell. tell. the to to to to to to to to to to to I dare you and he's like I dare you to go in that clause and she's like you'll give me your kiss poster and he's like yeah.

I was reading IMDB before we got on this call and apparently they changed it to a kiss poster. It was some other rock group because the actress playing Lisa had a long tongue so they could do that Gene Simmons joke. Oh. Joke. Hey, you want to see something? Oh shit, Gene Simmons jokes! I have the longest fucking tongue.

Have you ever been Gene Simmons for Halloween? No. Missed opportunity? I know. Well, it's never too late. I'm not dead. Well, I mean... Yet. At your age doing Gene Simmons just seems a little uncou with... He's such a young spry man.

Oh my god, how dare you? I'm only 24. I know. Oh man, I'm 34 again. Yeah. This is so great. Yeah. I get a two over, finally.

Oh, I'm so great. Yeah. I get a two over, finally. Oh, I'm doing great. Oh, so she bets him for the kiss poster, goes into the closet. Fucking Jody's in there, who to thunk it? Just hanging out, totally corporeal. And Jody's does the thing that made Missie yell, oh you got to be fucking kidding me. When she doubting Thomas is him? In her head wound? Yeah she makes Lisa put her finger in the wound. Two knuckles deep. It just kept going in and I was like word movie. Yeah. This movie like they must have been like... You know how Hitchcock had this whole this thing? You know how Hitchcock had this whole this whole thing? You know how Hitchcock had the this this th this th th this th th this th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th th thi thi. Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, the the th. Yeah, the th, like, they must have been like, you know how Hitchcock had this whole thing

about like, let the audience guess what's going on? What if we didn't? What if we just show, why, why, show, don't tell, you know, show everything? Is there a way to throw Jody at the camera? Yeah, they literally practically do. She gets, like, she's being held to the ceiling at one point. And the final scare in this movie is just... the huh. Holy shit, it's so dumb.

It's so dumb. I mean, one of, like, go watch the fucking haunting. Holy shit, it's so dumb. It's so dumb. I mean, one of, like, go watch the fucking haunting. Like, go watch a movie that like, just doesn't show you anything and see how scary that is, you know? Yeah, yeah. I'm coming down too hard. Excuse me, I was not involved in the making of this film.

I'm taking no offense. But just the idea of having a child ghost jam a woman's finger into her head wound. See, you do that a different way. It's good, I think. Also, there was no like, oh my god, is she going to do it? Oh my god, it was just like, grabs hands, sticks it in and it. Yeah, just right in there. There wasn't any like, you know, like, fulchy eyeball scene where he's going to take 20 minutes takes takes takes twe minutes twe minutes twe minutes twe minutes twe minutes twe to to twe to to to to to to takes to takes takes takes takes to to takes takes to takes to to to to to to to to to thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th in there. There wasn't any like, you know, like Fulchie eyeball scene where he's going to take 20 minutes leading up to the actual puncturing of it. That's true.

Uh, so there's a great dog in this movie. Yeah. Really like that dog? You like that dog? It's a real sweet dog. See the problem, like, okay, so this is also very of the time and the fact that it was like a big studio production is like, you know those kids aren't going to die. Even if you, and you know that mom's not going to die, even if you didn't know the story, the Amityville story, you know they're never going to, they're not, this is just not going to be subversive, although one of them does get punched. It's true.

Uh, but you know that dog's got to go then. I also thought they were bringing the priest in as a, like, why don't we just kill him too? But I guess that's not canon either. No, that does happen in Amityville too, doesn't it? Oh, maybe that's why I was expecting it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that I that I that I that I was that I was expecting I was expecting I was expecting it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that's why I was th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. that's why I was thi. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi., right. But also the dog is not canon. Like the dog doesn't die in any of the other story like versions of this. They just need to have some stakes, I guess. I guess it was such a like, it was such a bummer. Yeah. I was also on that same IMDB thing I was reading. Ryan Reynolds didn't build any rapport with the kids at all so that when he turned bad he didn't feel guilty for like

twisting kids emotions, which is like really kind of him But also they're actors so they should be able to handle this. Right. It sounds like he just didn't want to deal with kids But I like I don't feel that his heel turn to me didn't feel like it had any weight to it at all. Like at no point does someone go, you know, stop being a dick. What are you doing? Right. No one is like, everyone's just like, oh, is this who he is? Like mom just turns into like a tear factory as soon as he starts going angry. I have to say the end of this movie really fucking pissed me off when he's holding an axe

on her child and she like can't shoot him. No fucking way. I just like, I hate to pull that. Well, I'm a mother card, but like if anyone was going to hurt my child with an axe, I would curb them until their brains were on my soles of my shoes. Like, no, I would not hesitate. I wouldn't hesitate. I wouldn't even think to hesitate.

You know what I mean? Like, there's no way you'd be like, I just can't because he's got these abs. As even as a non-child having a to their today, thinn't, their to, tooomorrow, tooomorrow, too Oh yeah, yeah, you do what you have to do. If you saw someone holding an axe to my daughter and you didn't kill them, I'd be so fucking mad at you. Noted. Thank you. I mean, I think it goes without saying. It does. I'll kill them.

Don't worry, I'll tell her. Uncle Alan's willing to kill for you. Well, really, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll toell her. Uncle Alan's willing to kill for you. Well, really, I'll use that to my advantage. You kill to save her life, it's fine. So there's also this thing that's happening, which is where he's hearing this voice that says catch him and kill him, and then like the magnets on the fridge say catch him and kill him, but it's spelled with a k. Yeah. And then like the thing that's supposed to make us go what is this guy catch him? When I say it out loud it's so dumb. It's just. I was just like, are you fucking kidding me right now? Catch him and kill him.

Like, who is saying that? Was he, was Ketchum, I don't get it? I don't know, but he was also twisted because he kept yelling, get out. Oh yeah. So, catch him was a guy who started a mission for Indians as we learned, and then like tortured and murdered a bunch of them. Which looked like 13 ghosts because like one of them was in a head cage and one of them was being disemboweled and like. Oh, that's right. Ryan Reynolds is running around in the basement of the house. He like finds a secret door. Which in the original is fucking terrifying because it's just like this door that opens in the basement and the the their their their their.. the basement. the basement. the basement. the basement. the basement. the basement. the basement. the basement. the basement. the basement. their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thorou. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the th. the the th. th. th. the. the to. to. torte. tort. tort. torte. tortu. tortu. tortu. tortu. tortu. tortu. tortu. tortu. the original is fucking terrifying because it's just like this door that opens in their basement

and there's a red light pouring out of it. You don't see anything, you're like, oh my god, it's hell. Yes, I remember that. I do remember that. I also sometimes have dreams where I find know they're like bedrooms and are a cool wreck room. Oh, yeah. Why happen? I've been using this. I know, and I'm like, oh my god, I'm getting a pool table. I don't even play pool. And then I wake up and I'm like, I don't have all those rooms. I have a treadmill and litter boxes.

Why aren't you using those litter boxes? Me? Purs Catch them? Catch them and kill them. But that has nothing to really do with the story though, does it? So that's supposed to be, I, there's some form of the story where it gets into like the Native American burial ground. Oh my god. Thing is why like there's like a curse on the land and so I think this was trying to like put a spit on that I'd be like oh what if it's not the Native Americans that are cursing it but this guy that was killing the Native Americans. No I don't like it. I was just shaking my head no no no.

It's it's really stupid like it's just like straight up dumb it's like they had to get a library you seen in and they were like how are we gonna have or use the library oh you mean the this is the most boring call of Kithu-loo the game I've ever been a part of right that I have catch him and kill him so she also goes to see father Callaway who, who is like literally no help and plays no part in this movie. I don't know why he exists. He's there for the fly beat down.

Yeah. Oh, they were flies. they were bees. No, they're flies. Lord of the flies, the devil. Oh, I was also folding my laundry while I finished watching this, I'm sorry. I heard buzzing. Yeah, that it's supposed to be like some satanic thing of the devil like letting flies into the house and blah blah blah blah blah.

So, like, Melissa George is talking to Father Calloway about finding out about Ketchum, and she's like, I read that he slit his throat so his presents could live forever. And I was like, what does that even fucking mean? Why is slitting your throat make your presents live forever? If you, what? It's like she was speed rating and didn't get all the context around what's happening. What? What was the whole scene with like George getting attacked in the bathtub?

Like whose arms were those? His own, I think. I don't get it. This movie, my big, I think one of my biggest problems was it couldn't decide if it wanted to go down the, George Lutz is losing his mind road? The Shining Road. Yeah, yeah. Or there's a ghost child road.

Uh, I can't, I literally can't think of a ghost child movie even though I'm sure we've done 40 of them. Well, there's the innocence. We haven't done that one yet. Um, spoiler. Uh, oh, we haven't, we haven't done many ghost kid. Well, there's ghost ship. Doesn't it have a Victorian ghost child in it? Oh, yeah, Victorian ghost child.

Yep. But she's like a helpful ghost child. Anyway, go on. And then there's your, I don't know, murder, missionary option. Yeah, it seems like they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they, they couldn't settle on why the bad thing was happening. Also the whole thing with the the doorknob that's across and then it goes upside down. I was like, yeah, it's gonna have to go upside down if you want to open the fucking door. That's what fucking do.

That's what fucking do. I mean, so like, I don't know, he's just going crazier and crazier, I guess, and he's being really horrible to the oldest child. That scene where he's making him hold the logs to split them actually really fucking upset me. I was, I was like very tense and I thought, well, that's at least well done to make you so uncomfortable. Yeah. I don't, but it didn't, I don't know.

For some reason it didn't feel like tonally right for the movie or something. I don't know why, like, maybe I was just pissed at the movie. Does this movie have a tone? That's what I think my problem is that it was just like, it's so all over the place. Yeah, I agree. I think it was just because everything was set to 11. Mm-hmm. Yeah, there's not an ounce of subtlety. Like there's that scene where the little boy is in the bathroom and there's that just a creature in there? And I was like, first did he see that? First, did he see that? And second, what's it doing there? Who is it? Why doesn't it do anything? Like what, what is? What is? What is? What is? What is? What is? What is? What is? What is? What is? What is? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? th. the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? the? th. th. thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi. thi. thi. thi. the? thi. the? thi. they? their? their? ththere? Who is it? Why is it there? Why doesn't it do anything?

Like what is this? What is this? I don't know. It was like the family had a rogue Marilyn Manson infestation. You have to get a professional into tell with that though. That's not something you can do on your own. No, no. You want to call the beautiful people. They'll come out and take care of this. Duh, da da da da da da da da da, mwah. It's been too long since we've done that, truly.

When I went, when we had to edit out all the music from our podcast to put it on Spotify and I made that spreadsheet, I was like, Control F beautiful People, oh, six times we've dropped that song. It brings us so much joy though. There's a maggot wall at one point and that didn't even make me happy. I thought that would actually appeal to you, but I guess not. It should have. I should have been in in the magit wall zone. I mean you weren't, that's okay. So this all builds up. There's the repeated scenes in the boat house that keep happening, including the murder of the dog that he doesn't fess up to. Right, he never does. Do you think later when he like comes out of it he's like, oh, oh, oh shit. Or do you think he takes that to the grave?

Or tries to buy another dog that looks like that? Look what I found, guys! He was hanging onto the boat the whole time. I think I would not fess up. I wonder if that was the thing that George Lutz was like, oh, fuck this movie. Right. I did not shoot. it. He axes it. He axes it. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's where I have the note he acts the dog a question. P. P. P. P. Oh and there's all these like dream scenes that keep having it. Like he axes his wife in the stomach but that that didn't really happen and like. Yeah there's a lot of dreams within a dream too where you're just like this is so the. the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. didn't really happen. And like... Yeah, there's a lot of dreams within a dream, too,

where you're just like, this is so dumb. In one of the, in one of the boathouse scenes, it looks like she's going to get Jason 5, or Jason 6 with the propeller on the boat. And I was like, oh, I've seen a movie that does that, scenes where they show her seeing him flip the switch to try and like suck her head into it. And she doesn't leave him after that. No, she was like you were going to kill me. Anyway, do you want some pancakes? So then, yeah, we get to the big standoff with the holding the kid and the gun and the axe and... Can I tell you a line that I really like that happens then? Please. Well Melissa George is trying to gather the kids and get them out. One of them yells,

Mom, why are you wet? That was like it's fucking raining. You asshole! Look out the god damn window, Billy! damn window Billy. So the stakesless standoff ends. No, nobody's gonna die. Even when he hits her with the axe, you're not like, oh shit, he just killed their mom. You know it, the, just it can't be. And they all pile into the boat and drive away. There's a lot of, um, okay, so first she like knocks him in the skull like three fucking times. Yeah. And I just kept thinking like, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, the, the, the, the, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, the the the the the the the the the the they, they, the, the, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, the boat and drive away. There's a lot of, okay so first she like knocks him in the skull like three fucking times. Yeah, and I just kept thinking like, well concussions weren't as bad in the 70s I guess. And but there's also like a bunch of scenes of them just on the roof which isn't I should it should be scary but it isn't. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's a ladder to their chimney. Why the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. C. C. C. their. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. Con. Con. Con. Con. Con. Con. Con. Con. Con. Con. Con. Con. Con. Con. Con. Con. Con. Con. Con. Con. Con. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. There. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. Conc. the. to their chimney. Why? Who's that for? Santa? Earlier in the movie, Jody gets Chloe, Grace Morettes to go up on the roof.

Yeah. And there's this like, Bad Boys 2, like, aerial shot around the roof of her up there. It is extremely. Oh, it's Michael Bay. Oh, that makes perfect sense. Why it looks like that. Oh my god. She just got real. No, that's that's that's th. that's th. that's that's th. th. that's a thi that's a thi thi that's a thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Jody thi. Jody thi. thi. theeeateat thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Jody. Why it looks like that. Oh my god, you're still right. No, that's a piece we put together and I feel really good about that. But that also felt stick like you're not going to have me watch this child plummet to her death. Absolutely not. This button of a child. Also, the mom is like walking out like a balance beam to her and I was like, sit on your fucking bum and slide. Like, why are you not getting lower?

Scoochy, scoochooch, scoochy. Scoochie, like a dog wiping its ass. Anyway, as far as soon as they get in the boat and they get a little bit far away from the house, Ryan Reynolds is like, oh, you guys, thi, thii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. to to toooooooooooooooooi. tooi. toooi. toooi. tooooooi. tooooi. tooooooooo. too. he's like, Kathy, we got to get out of here. And he says, Kathy, don't even look at it. And I was like, don't you fucking tell her what to do right now. Are you feeling better? Yeah, I feel, I feel fine. What? How could you ever trust him again if you're those kids? Never again? No. No, scarred for life. And that is not the end the end the end the end the end the end the end the end the end the end the end the end the end the end th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. tooom, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, to, to, too, to, to. to. to. to. to. to. too. too. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. toooome. tooome. tooome. tooome. tooome. tooooooo. too. too And that is not the end of the movie. There's one final

scare. Okay, what is, can you, can you tell me about that final scare? Sure, uh, it's real stupid. We find ourselves back in the house looking at Jody who's holding her little one-eyed doll that she had allegedly been buried with, but Chloe Grace Morettes had it. Fuck. Yeah, I forgot about that. Also, like, cool that you remember that creepy priest. She's standing in the front, like the foyer of the home, and then all of a sudden goes, and gets dragged into the basement through the floor and the doll like topples to the ground. Why? I feel like Twisted Sisters' Burden Hell should have started playing when that happened. I love that song for its prominent placement in Pewie's thia. thia. then that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that happened. I love that song for its prominent placement in Peewe's Big Adventure. I know.

So that's Amityville Har, 2005. Okay, you want to rate this bitch? Oh yeah, definitely. So, as I said to you before we started this episode, you were like, this was terrible, and I was like, ah, yeah. Yeah. I felt it very watchable. To shut my, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be to be to be to be this was terrible and I was like, yeah. I felt it very watchable. To shut my, I mean I was to be fair folding laundry, but it's terrible. It's terrible. It's terrible. The dialogue is terrible. Oh man. The backstory makes no sense, and they didn't even try to make it make sense. theymea doesn't make sense because it's too

complicated and they didn't figure it out out out out't make sense because they couldn't decide what it was. Yeah. I don't know. The children, I felt like the children were all really good, but there's no stakes. But you could watch it, I don't know. It's a film. They did do that. They made a film.

Uh, four and a half. Wow. That is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. tea. too. too. too. the. the. the. the. is astronomically higher than I thought you would give this. This is by far not the worst movie we've done of that era. So I feel like other than Ghost Ship a lot of those movies have something charming about them? What? You found nothing charming about 13 ghosts and do not tell me you did. It's got Tony Shaloob it's got Tony Shaloob in it. All right fine. But he's not charming in it if you recall. He's tacking up his overdue bills to the bulletin board? Shut off notices. Who played his daughter in that movie? Oh, uh, Shannon Elizabeth. She couldn't even smile convincingly.

But I feel like, yeah, I think this movie falls into that like pocket of mediocrity that, like, it isn't even so bad I can just laugh at it the whole time. It's just like, it's just cruising along. And it's fucking C-studenting all the way through. Oh, yeah, it's just cruising along and it's fucking C-studding all the way through. Oh yeah, it's not applying itself. I'm going to give this movie a two. Oh damn. Yeah, and not even those abs are going to save this movie. I'm giving it a four and a half of Ryan Frontal's abs.

He's also not in my wheelhouse, so. No, it's not for me. Yeah. I'm glad that's one we won't have to fight over. We could just kick him, kick him right out of bed. Right to the curb. Do you want to go to a little place that I'd like to call, mail bag? I'd like to actually read a mail bag to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that to you if that's okay. Perfect. This is a review that we missed on iTunes

from Upsum, underscore Pratt, and I feel really bad that we miss this one because it speaks directly to my heart. Five stars, I have a crush on this podcast. Which, cute. This podcast has a crush on you. Okay, I'm completely addicted to your reviews, and I love this podcast. please, please, please, please, please, please, please, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, and I, and I, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, and I'm, to, to, and I'm, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. too. th. too. th. too. th. too. th. th podcast. Please never get bored of each other. You're one of the few things that bring me joy during isolation. Here's where it starts speaking to me.

Stephen Kang book idea, the plane from the Langaears lands at Tom Nevers Field featuring Byron from Wangs. And just pulling out Tom Nevers Field is, M-wah! Chef's kiss. Katie did explain to me earlier what that was. He's like, what's Tom Nevers Field? And I was like, how dare you? So thank you, Upsom Pratt.

I appreciate the review. I appreciate the five stars, and I super appreciate a a wings reference. Can I read your review that touched my heart? Yeah. This is from Betty ADI 26, five-star review. My heart will go on for a werewolf ambulance. Oh I like it. Hi Alan and Katie. You guys are so wonderful and hilarious. True, true. You guys have made me laugh all through college. We've been doing this long enough that someone has gotten a degree.

Oh, fuck! Ha ha ha! Congratulations on your matriculation. And this is the part of the Touch Day. And even though yesterday was supposed to be my graduation, your Titanic revisions episode helped me get through my missing out sadness. Oh, buddy. Thank you for countless hours of entertainment. You guys rock.

Hey, send us your address. We're going to send you a graduation card. Oh, definitely. Oh, yeah. So email it to us. So email it to us. Where all all family family family family family family family family family? where we we we we we we are to us. to us. to us. to us. to us. to us. to us. to us. to us. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. And. And to us, where all family owns at Gmail. dot com, if you hear this. And congratulations. Congratulations. That's a bummer, but you know what? You've fucking got through college. That's awesome. Also, like, can I tell you what a college graduation is like?

It's basically wanting to kill yourself tho. don't even, I mean you really missed nothing. You got all the good parts of college, trust me. And you got to laugh for like an hour and a half in that episode. Yeah, that was a long one. Thank you guys for, uh, thanks for anyone who stuck through that one. I imagine people started downloading it and we're like, wait what? How was it still going? Katie and I were talking the other day. it was just like, if someone had told me six years ago that we would do a two-parter on Titanic, no way I would have believed them. If we were going to put out like 150 minutes of content, no, yes, 150 minutes of content on Titanic, I would have not believed that, no. Nope, we did it. And you downloaded everybody. Thank you for doing that. So what do you want to do next week? I don't know. Why don't we tackle something a little bit more serious a little bit more

you're looking at me. You think maybe something else? No, I think more serious is good. Okay. Okay. Okay. What do you do? How about El Vira, Mistress of the Dark? I thought it was a horror movie movie? It's on cheddar? Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay? Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay? Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay? Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. the? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What, What, What, What, What, What, What, What, the? What, the? What? What, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the? What? What? What? What? What? What? What, Mistress of the Dark? I thought it was a horror movie. It's on Shutter. Okay. There's a demon in it. That's true. It's on Shutter right now, so go watch Elvira, Mistress of the Dark and get back to us. This is a very seminal movie for me. Oh, I believe it.

Oh, boy. Anyone smashing their tits into a windshield is probably going to do it for you, huh? Yeah we're going to get into that. Okay. Come back for Alan's boyhood thoughts. My awakening? Oh my awakening? Oh, too much. What was the male version of Are You There God? It's me, Margaret? Oh I don't know. Oh, I don't know. Oh, God. There's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the very the very the the th th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was. It was. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's there's there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a the the there's th. It was the there's there's th. It's the the there's the the the the the the the the the the the th. What was the male version of Are You There God? It's me, Margaret. Oh, I don't know. Oh, I don't know.

There was a book for boys, too, where he just kept getting a boner. I forget what it was called. The peanut butter incident? No, that's the peanut butter solution. No. That's the peanut butter. Thank you to everyone My first boner. Thank you to everyone who's been buying shirts and whatnot.

You can now buy masks with our images on. Oh, fucking hell. Which I got the idea of someone wearing a mask to stay safe that might say being fun is better than knowing things. Woof. It's not a good look though, is it? Don't do that one. Don't do that.

Do the Brian for Wing, Stephen King. Do that one. Yeah, that's going to look on you. You're going to look at that, yeah. Yeah, you can get us on Facebook and all the internet stuff. Yeah, you can get us on Facebook and the thapapapapapap really does help us. And just, hey, thanks for being a friend. Yeah, y'all are the best. Yeah, I hope you're hanging in there.

So go watch all by-rud and come back and listen to that. Thanks for listening to another episode of Where O'Fambulance. Bye. Bye. I