Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 283- Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (1988)

Episode Date: June 1, 2020

In this week's episode, we are rolling around in a pile of bad jokes and misunderstandings with the 1988 horror (?) comedy "Elvira: Mistress of the Dark." Special topics for your consideration include: imagining a world in which Tim Burton directed this film, 1980s perverts, the concept of a Vegas show about nothing and surprisingly less titty bell than one might expect. Unpleasant dreams, EMTs! We have really never covered a film quite like this one. If you like it, you may also like Episode 274- "The Ghost and Mr. Chicken." Related, maybe check out some of our favorite horror comedies, including Episode 36- "Waxwork," Episode 144- "The Burbs" and Episode 236- "House." Have you been thinking about buying a t-shirt but perhaps none of the designs spoke to you? Then we are certain you'll love our brand new design by the inimitable Justin Gray, "Close Enough, Lucio!" You can get this design printed on a t-shirt, cell phone case, throw pillow and more weird items at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance.  Have you seen this one? What did you think? Let us know your thoughts at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Twitter @werebulance or on Instagram @werewolfambulance. You can also email us for our segment "MAILBAG!" at [e-mail] and if you're feeling super generous, leave us a rating and a review on Apple podcasts or wherever you can. Or hey, just tell a friend about us. Thank you for helping us continue to grow.  Theme music by Aaron "Toxic" Mortimer SoundCloud- https://soundcloud.com/toxic_dsm Contact- Facebook (ToxicDSM) or Instagram (toxic_dsm) Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast. 

Hi Alan. Hey Katie. Did you bring the bell? I'm worried that we're going to make the bell smoke. It's going to break. Just hitting the bell over and over and over. That'd be the titty bell. Should I just start wringing it now and let it go through the entire episode? Yeah, I think people will really like a light ringing in their ears for 45 plus minutes. Oh my god, I forgot about how ridiculous this movie is it's been so long since I've seen it. This is my first time watching it. Oh, welcome. And honestly, my El Vira, we're doing Elvira, Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr Mr the the the the their their their their thira, thir thir thir thir thir thir thir thir thiiiiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I'm thi, I thi, I tho, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I'm going thi, I'm going thi, thi, thi, thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I've seen it. This is my first time watching it. Oh, welcome. And honestly, my Elvira, we're doing Elvira Mistress of the Dark.

My Elvira exposure is somewhat limited. Okay. I think I've seen like maybe one or two episodes of her being the movie host. Yeah, I saw her a bunch when I was a kid, and she was like, she's kind of everywhere in the 80s, like Budweiser ads or Bush beer or something like that. And like around Halloween she would always pop up. I remember her costume being readily available every year for Halloween from my birth onwards, you know. Yeah, she's been doing this for a minute, like 1981 was when she started doing Elvira. And she's still Elviraing out there, isn't she?

Yeah, I think less than she used to be, but yeah, she's sort, she is. She's got to be in her 50s. She's in her 60s. Oh, good for you, Cassandra Peterson. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's kind of, I don't want to, I'm not trying to be, I'm not trying to be ages, she's like older in this movie, she's like 37 or 38 I think. Yeah, yeah, that's great. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I wish I looked that good at 38. I'm 36 and I look considerably shiier than that. When I put on my low-cut black gown with the th-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, I-s, I-s, th-s, I-s, I-s, I-s, I'm, I'm th-s, I'm th-s, I'm th-s, I'm th-s, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's-s, I's, I-s, I-s, I-s, I-s, I-s, I-s, I-s, I-s, I-s, I-s, I-s, I-s, I-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s. thoo-s. tho-s Ita-s Ita-s Ita-s Ita-s Ita-s. I'm like-s. I'm like-s-s- gown with the thigh slit, and the belt with a knife on it. You also make significantly less single entendre jokes. It's just this film. I honestly feel like we should have just done it as a drinking game where we drank every time there was like a just over-the-top sex joke.

You mean like dropping a hot dog between her breasts? I mean she's owning it. You know what I mean? This is her choice. There's a lot of things to really, I think for me to love about this movie. I love this character because she's this like, fem fetaul horror movie, like iconic image, but then she's also like a doof. Like her whole thing is, she's a dufy valley girl. Yeah.

She, I sort of, see, in my, my thinking of Elvira, she was more like self-deprecating than the Elvira at the beginning of this movie is. Because the Elvira at the beginning of this movie is straight up cruel. She causes the death of a man who doesn't pump her gas at a self-serve station. You know who that man was? Remorselessly. Oh yeah, without a care. No, I don't, who?

It's Jomby from Peewee's Playhouse. I love Jomby. I didn't realize that. He's the co-writer of this movie, and he is Jumby. Wait, was Elfira ever on Peewe's Playhouse? Because it seems like a matchup that I, which is like an improv troop from LA. So she's in Peevy's Big Adventure. She's in the biker bar.

Oh, okay. As Cassandra Peterson. Oh, yeah, here she is. Yeah. And Peewe was supposed to be in this, but he wasn't able to do it because he was doing big top peewey. Oh gosh he should have done this instead. Although Valeria Golino is charming so on that movie. Yeah, yeah. That's one of the pickle of piquel poopolas. Yeah, I've seen that movie a lot. Wow, there's a lot of pictures of Pewe and Elvira on the internet, which is just like extremely cute. They're tight bros. Yeah, that's their. T their. T their. They're their their their their their their their their their their their their they're th. They're th. They're th. They're th. T. They're th. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. They're th. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. Yeah. T. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. T. T. Yeah. T. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. T. T. Yeah. T. Yeah. T. T. T. T. Yeah. T. T. T. T. T. T. Yeah. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. Yeah. T. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's. Yeah. That's awesome. Can you imagine how much cocaine was involved in their lives in the 80s? There's a picture of like, oh man, it's Roddy Dangerfield, Peewey Herman, and David Lee Roth that I was just like I can't imagine the amount of cocaine that was involved in this meeting.

That's like a heart-stopping amount of cocaine. I was watching a, sorry not to diverge, but I was watching a history of hip-hop documentary on Netflix and they were interviewing DJ Paul from 36 Mafia, not to keep bringing up 36 Mafia. We're doing that a lot lately. He was talking about the two different rapping, two of the different rapping styles in the group. He's like, yeah, the one guy was just like super laid back, and I was just like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not, not, not, not, not, not, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not to, not We're doing that a lot lately. He was talking about the two different wrappings, two of the different rapping styles in the group. He's like, yeah, the one guy was just like super laid back and I was just like, ah, huh, huh, probably because I was doing a lot of coke back then. Like he had this like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, a lot of that explains it. Oh, that explains it. Yep, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that, oh, oh, oh, that, oh, oh, oh, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the yep, yep. She is like totally not empathetic in this movie. No, and you sort of feel like her character arc is going to be to become empathetic.

Yeah. But that's not what happens. No. It's just to win. She's just going to win. Like at the end I was like, did she leave Bob behind? He was so kind to her. He was so kind to her. But like, okay, so, okay, so this movie opens on her being,

it's 1988, a good year. Yeah. She, it opens on her doing her like creature feature, TV show. I looked it up to find out what she's showing showing if you caught carrot all about what that is. I do. I assumed it was not real because it was so bad. No, it's it conquered the world. Wow. Starring Peter Graves.

And Lee Van Cleef. Oh, it reminded me a lot of attack of the crab monsters which we did on this show with our friend Dave. Mm-hmm. Just a very, very very very shitty B movie. Yeah. Yeah. And then when she goes off stage or offset her manager has like pimped her to the station executive or something it's like really upsetting. Yeah it does. Oh my god it's it's awful. He's like the guys like the ladies back home call me long horn and he's wearing like a cowboy hat and she's just like totally unfazed by the fact that her manager has like sold her for sex. What?

Anyway. And his name is Mr. Hooter. Oh my god it is. It's just like, okay. All right. So we learned that she is trying to do a Vegas show, which is like a little bit confusing because you're like, what is like that her that her th th th th. th th. th. th th th. th th the fact th. th. th. the fact th. th. It the fact, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th, th, th. Like, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, like, like, like, th. So we learned that she is trying to do a Vegas show, which is like a little bit confusing because you're like, what is your talent that you would be doing in a Vegas showcase? Oh, don't worry. They'll show you at the end. Oh, they do. Well, you know that Cassandra Peterson was a Vegas show girl. I believe that. And she briefly dated Elvis while she was doing that. Oh, interesting. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Ooh.

Yuck. She's also on a Tom Waits album cover as a showgirl. I like Tom Waits a lot more than Elvis, yeah. I'm sorry, Elvis is dumb. Okay, okay. No, you're so mad right now. No, I'm not at all. I grew up being exposed to Elvis, so. Yeah, it was just a little too late for me that Elvis was already like a punchline by the time I was a child. So we learned that she's trying to do this Vegas show, but the flamingamingo wants her to put up 50 grand of her own money, which she of course does not have.

Is booking a Vegas show like booking a punk show, where you have to rent the space? It seems like it. It was a little bit like pay to play, yeah. It's very confusing. It's like when the MaxiPad's played the Battle of the Bands at Saddle Ridge and we had to sell tickets you sold determined the order you went in and we sold three tickets. It was to each of our significant others and so we played a first. Did you guys win? We got fucking shit-faced before you and we played at about 3.30 p.m. The place was packed with moms and grandmas who'd come to see like their teenage children play and we were just like disgusting we're just disgusting in the middle of the set

Rob came up wearing a suit and he had a big check and he inter he like interrupted a song to be like I'm the owner of Saddle Ridge and the Maxi Pads have won this battle of the bands you can all go home nobody laughed nobody laughed. At the end of the set I was wearing a biohazard suit and just had to like, the walk from the stage to the bar was literally the longest, longest walk of my life. Did you start the set with a biohazard suit or get into it? No, I put it on part way through. I just had to like push past all these grandmas like, excuse me, I'm

just gonna, excuse me, I just have to thank you. Anyway, that's what her Vegas show seems like. She also threatens to tie a man's weenie in a knot, which I liked. I actually like that quite a bit. She is sexually assaulted a couple times in this movie, which is a bummer, but she also kicks the shit out of whoever does it to her. Yeah, she's like, it's a bit of a bummer, particularly because she's so unfazed by it, you know? She's just like, this is a thing that happens when you're me. But yes, she does kick the shit out of a number of men. I also love when she pours the beer into the guy's laps. I think that's very funny. It is. I also like what she picks up an axe murder and he runs away from the car.

Yeah, here you forgot your axe. So this movie apparently she was trying to get Tim Burton to direct it. Oh, that would have been really cool. Yeah, I know. That's like, I want to go to the universe where that happened. Because I feel like this has a... It's got a Pewe's Big Adventure vibe to it. It definitely does. But it like, it's not quite there. It's fallen a little flat. The writing is a little rough. Although I do love the scene where she's having, she gets the call that her aunt has died

and she's a beneficiary of the estate and she has like a Price's Right fantasy where she's like getting a sailboat and a Jeep Wrangler and a teenpiece dining room set. What the fuck is Elvira gonna do with a sailbone? And she's so happy in her dream. She's screaming and jumping up and down and clapping, it's amazing. There's so many scenes of her jumping up and down in this movie. I mean. It's hilarious.

Do you remember that show that was on for a while called the man show where it would just end with women on trampolines?? kind of felt a little like an early like a proto that. Wasn't that a liberal savior fucking not Jimmy Fallon the other one. Jimmy Kimmel. Yeah, yeah definitely was and I think Adam Corolla maybe. Is that guy still kicking around? Oh yeah. He's got one of the biggest podcast going. Oh not where all family lands. Number three in Taiwan. So I didn't see him on the the the the AV the AV the AV the AV the AV the AV the AV the AV the AV the AV the AV the AV the AV the AV the AV the AV the AV the AV the AV the AV the AV the AV the AV the AV the biggest podcasts going. Oh, not where all Pamelains. Number three in Taiwan. So I didn't see him on the AV Club room. We're going to milk that for years. It's the Adam Carolla show, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Calls himself Ace. No, he doesn't. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That sucks. How about that scene where she's driving to her aunt's house?

And she pulls up next to some Amish people and they just smile at her? Yeah. That's the joke? That's the joke. They smile. That's the joke. So she stops at a service station and is pumping gas and cleaning her windshield and just mush in her tet-tets right into the windshield and it's shot from below so it's just like oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-and-oh. She's bouncing what she's doing. I mean, it's like, it's just such low, like it's so low brow that it's like satire. It's, yes, it's come full circle and it's so low brow. I feel like it's so low brow that it's like satire.

It's yes it's come full circle and it's like yeah. Because it's like she knows that she's doing this and being silly with it. Yeah, yeah. There's no like loss of dignity for Elvira. She is in on the joke you know. Yeah for sure. Oh, speaking of jokes. Oh, speaking of jokes, she's going to Falwell, Massachusetts. That's where her aunt was when she died. Do you think that's a Jerry Falwell joke? Ooh, what was his, what was he like in 1988? A real big piece of shit like it was. Yeah, he was a very public piece of shit, huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, probably. Fuck that dude. I have to assume. Anywhere that there's like a morality council, you know? Because it makes sense because like I think he spoke out on people like a you know moral majority and

all that nonsense. Fucking piece of shit opening your university and having a bunch of kids get sick. So she's going to a town filled with the moral majority. Yeah. Yep. So she kills this man by like, spilling gas everywhere, not caring, and then he throws a cigarette, he flicks a cigarette butt on it and blows the fuck up.

She just drives away with an I break for no one sticker, which I thought was funny. I love that she still has that car. They made that car for this movie. drives away with an I break for no one sticker, which I thought was funny. I love that she still has that car. They made that card for this movie and she still drives it around. That's awesome. I mean, the guy was smoking. I mean, the guy was smoking. Like, he probably didn't have like a strong will to go on. I mean, have you ever pumped gas next to somebody who's smoking? I like got into a fight with a guy once.

I was, we were driving back from the beach and a guy was filling up his boat smoking while I was pumping gas. And I was just like, how fucking dare you? What is wrong with you? Literally. I've never understood people who are that like impervious to the idea of their own untimely demise. And you know, they have to be so shocked when it happens, you know?

Oh shit, I didn't, ah, god damn it! Not me! Fucking me, I guess. No, I was a smoker at the time when this argument happened. Oh, man. Fucking how. Anyway. So she gets into Falwell and her car is steaming, and the hood blows off of her automobile. Yep, that's a thing that happens.

Did you recognize the one of the nerd kids from when she pulls into town? No I didn't. The one with glasses was in the Dream Warrior. He's like the Paladin nerd guy from the Dream Warrior. Oh, okay. All right. I like that kid. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, even though he's a prevert. I mean, everyone, literally, I mean, like, the plot the plot, the plot, the plot, the plot, the plot, the plot, the plot, the plot, the plot, the plot, the plot, the the the the the the mean all everyone and literally I mean like the plot of this movie is that All men want to fuck Elvira. They literally cannot help themselves and all women hate Elvira except for teenage girls who think she's cool. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. That's the message of this film. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I think that's the message of 1988. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that. that. that. that. that. I. that. I. that. I. that. I. th. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. the, the, the, the, theat- the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the this film. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think that's the message of 1988. Oh, okay. Yeah. I hadn't heard the term gizonga's in a really long time. Yeah, that's a term of an age, isn't it? It is.

It's used heavily in the film Encinoman. Which would have been of this time? Oh yeah, it's like 91, I think. Yeah. I just, in this, like, these opening scenes, I just kept thinking like, I hope Elvira has a change of heart because she's kind of hard to watch at this point. You think? I think as the movie goes on, she does get more likable, like, I don't know if it's

just because you get used to her. I like the whole scene where the teens are helping her fix up the house. Yeah. And all the boys are there because they have boners. And she's just kind of like, yeah, whatever, just fix the fucking house. Like, she's just like, this is what this is, I understand. Like, she's just like, this is what this is. I understand that. I'm doing this in my weird side cut out pants that I'm putting on for physical activity.

I mean, that is actually something that I feel is very in style right now, are like workout leggings with mesh panels in them, you know? I feel like those are very Elvira inspired. But then she's also like very kind to Robin. And I don't know. Like, like, I I I that I that I that I that I that I'm that I'm that I'm that, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, I'm putting that I'm putting that I'm putting that I'm putting that I'm putting that I'm putting that I'm putting that I'm putting that I'm putting that I'm putting that I'm putting that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm th th th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thin thin thin thin thin thi thi thi thi thi But then she's also like very kind to Robin and I don't know, like what is Elfire's deal? It's confusing. Yeah. I just, I remember being a kid and thinking she was cool.

Oh, she is cool. She was just cool. She hung out with like motley crew and stuff. Yeah, she was cool. Really do like her interactions with the shitty grandparents looking after Robin and not th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. I I, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi, I thi, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I I I th. I I I I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. I th. I th. I th. I the, I the like, I the like, I theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I th. She was cool. Really do like her interactions with the shitty grandparents looking after Robin and not letting her wear any makeup and Elvira just being like, yeah, they're assholes, whatever. Yeah, fuck it's just the grandma,

because the grandfather's like, oh god, just let her be. And then at the end he calls the grandma an old bag, which I really liked. Speaking of Alvira being cool, you know what I think is very cool. Ordering a Bloody Mary anytime. Yeah. I think that's extremely cool. Just skipping the whole it's only for breakfast or brunch thing. Yeah. Just yeah. One of my cousins always orders bloody marries at happy hour, which I think is very cool. Yeah, yeah. Bartenders are always like, really? But like, it's no harder to, I mean, it's just tomato, you know what I mean? Right.

It's a skin off your ass, make her a Bloody Mary. She knows what she likes. Yeah, she knows what she likes, extra spicy. Uh, no hard alcohol after APM. Would you like a virgin? Oof. And it's like, this is a joke, a week! Maybe, but I'll have a couple drinks first. Elvira. I love that her joke, Baileywick is either my tits.

I don't understand what you're saying and think that you're asking me about my tits. Yes, that's right. It can be one of two things. Tits or maybe tits. When she bangs her head later and Bob says, how's your head? She stops things and goes, I haven't had any complaints. Oh, God, Elvira. So watching this movie, I was like, this fits into my Don Nazi and love of stupid shit.

Sure. But this is like the naughty end of it. Yeah, this is just a little bit raunchy. And this is like, this is as naughty as I want to get. Like I don't want to go full Andrew Dice Clay. No, that's no. I that's not for me. But I'm fine with like I guess I will go full little Kim every once in a while. I think you mean Kim Whittle. But yeah this is like this is as far down like that raunchy end of things as I want to go. For sure. Where it's still kind kind of like that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's kind that's kind that's kind that's kind that's kind that's kind that's kind of like that's kind of like that's kind of like that's kind of like that's that's that's that's no that's no that's no that's no that's no that's no that's no that's no that's no that's no that's no. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. that's no that's no that's no that's no that's no that's no that's no that's no that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. that's th. I that's not thi that's not that's not thi. I that's that's that's that's not that's not that's not that's no. I's no. I's no that's no that's no th. I th is like, this is as far down like that raunchy end of things as I want to go.

For sure. Where it's still kind of like oddly wholesome? I mean, I wouldn't call it wholesome. And neither would the morality counsel. But I would say that it's, it's clean sex humor. Although the head won, I thought that when she said that I was like, huh? I think that's as raunchy as it gets.

But that's like, that's a joke that if you're like 12 watching this way, you're like, whatever. And then if you're like 16, you go, oh shit. Yeah. So she meets Bob at the bowling alley industry, like, is into him. Is Bob her type? It's very weird that she would be disattracted to Joe regular dude. Yeah, I mean, he's buff, but... Yeah.

He's wearing flannel. I also love how, like, Elvira loves to fuck and she doesn't care. Oh, yeah, she's sex freedom. Yeah, I'm into that. Yeah. She gets slut shamed all over this movie and gives zero fucks about it. Yeah, yeah I really appreciate that about her. And she also says like someone was like oh I'm was just shocked by your appearance. She's like it's okay my appearance is kind of a shock to everybody. And it's like, well, own it, you know. Yeah, oh man, she's so ridiculous.

Yeah, and this is in the bowling alley, Patty's Tidy Bowl. That's funny. I like that. It's so dumb and it's great. This is where she first meets the two like henchmen dudes. God, they are like comic book stupid. Something is wrong with those men. Like, they've been drinking lead water or something. The best was looking at IMDV about this movie. And someone had written that the comic book issue that gets ripped up that guy was reading actually doesn't contain anything about using plutonium on Spider-Man.

So, and just like, are you, are you okay? Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Speaking of things that are real, she references the movie, I married Satan to? Is that a real movie? No. Oh, God, I really want to th th th th that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th that that th th th th th th thi was thi was th th th th th that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th that that th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thii thii thi thi thi thi thi in this scene? I married Satan too. Is that a real movie? No. Oh God, I really want to see that. We still need to do I married an ax murderer on this show at some point.

We definitely do. I live with someone who absolutely loves that movie. You do a podcast with someone who does too. Great! I married Satan. No, it's a book by Ladana M. Smith. Oh no, it's about, oh no, it's God. It's about God. Oh boy.

It was too good to be true. Yeah. Ooh, Satan's War on Marriage. I'm going to read that next. Next, I will survey the biblical evidence of Satan's explicit attacks against marriage. Satan, mind you business. Stay out of it, Satan.

Why would Satan care? I don't think he, I think he's got bigger fish to fry as it were. So yes, she pours dicks in the di- or nope, she pours beers in the dicks laps. No, dicks in the the theirs laps. Just pouring a dick into someone's lap. It's like mushroom stamping. Oh yeah, big time. Kids still do that. Kids still do that.

Did they ever? Yeah. Kids. Whatever. It is. This is where we meet Patty as well, owner of Patty's tidy bowl, who is a bullet braziered woman who was getting in Elvira's face.

She's also like 27 feet tall. She's very tall and she deeply wants to be with Bob. Who's also very tall? They were made for each other. I assume they get together when this is all over. You don't think he stays with Elvira? Because he's in, he's in, he's in, he's in, he's in, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's in, he's in, he's in, he's in, he's in, he's in, he, he, he's in, he, I. toe, he's toe, toe. toe, th. toe, toe. toe. too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, toe. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. to. to. too, too, too, too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. 't see him. Yeah him and gonker on the side of the stage I didn't see that because I was kind of bummed she left Bob behind No, Bob's there. Oh, God they seem to have a loving relationship. Okay, move on

We're getting ahead of ourselves. I know so they have like a standoff where Tell FIvers you're gonna poke somebody's eyes out with their boobs, which I thought was funny. I think that's one too. I like those bras. Although I just thought about it and her name is Patty and then what happens later with padding? Oh. Fits in. Check. That's Gant's. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So she goes to... Also we've seenie McClurg, who is not happy with Elvira being in town. Is that the red-haired woman? Yeah. God, she's in everything and she's such a little delight. I find her just so delightful. She's so fun to watch.

So apparently most of the actors that have big roles in this movie were also groundlings. And Edie McClurg is one the people th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiologe-a, thi, thi, this movie were also groundlings. And Edie McClurg is one of the people who are a groundling as well. Nice. Her hair is fucking amazing in this movie. Oh, it's just sprayed to shit. It's like just a 40-inch orb around her head. It's amazing. She's like a 100% perfect morality council president.

Her name is Chastity Pariah. It's amazing. That's such a first pass. So Elvira goes them they're just baby bangs but they're combed up from the back from like the crown of his head he looks like a really bunco Robert Loja and he's playing a bunco Robert Loja and then when I was like Rob was walking in and now I was watching this movie, and he's like, that guy was in Gettysburg.

He's Captain So-and-So, Isaac Trembl or something. And I was like, come on, please don't do this to me right now. Trying to watch Alvira. I'm tear, you bring the Civil War up and I'm trying trying to to trying to to to to to watch to watch to watch to watch out of the fire. It's everything. It's in the Civil War is in all all we see and all we feel and all we touch all we breathe. So Elvira of course shows up late to the reading of the will who's Uncle Vincent and I guess the two like the driver, yeah, house help, household help, and the household help gets $10,000 each or $5,000 each or whatever it was and Helmire was like, oh you're making out like

bandits. Yeah, she's doing a running commentary on what everyone's getting in the will. She's like getting in their faces, too. She won't stay in her seat. She's such a dick. She's such a dick. She never stops talking. She's like a toddler. It's just a constant running stream of her mouth. I forgot when she met Bob, she said my name is Elvira, but you could call me tonight. Oh, Elvira.

So, Elvira inherits the house, the recipe book, and the dog. Yeah. Algonquin. Which she decides is a sissy name. Her words not mine. So what is she named the dog? Gonk. That's such a hard dog name to call.

Gonk. It's too harsh, you know. Does a chicken have a pecker? Of course I'm interested. Do chickens have peckers? Yeah, they're beaks. Oh, I was just thinking about a chicken, because chickens don't have dicks. I think I've got to do something to do something, right? I don't know. Okay anyway. Okay, anyway.

Sorry. No, it's okay. So Elvira just moves right on into the house. She's like, going to try to sell it, but she's also just living there for the time being. And there are like gross kids peeping through the window. Watching her take off her like lunch. There's no way she had that laundry on underneath that low cut outfit. You would see the bra. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. And like, I love her look, but like you could just never let your guard down. You know what I mean? Oh, her bosom must be taped in place. Yeah like especially for as much as she's jumping. Doing a lot of jumping a lot of bouncing. I've been kicking around in like gym shorts and t-shirts for weeks now so watching that I was like huh. Wait did you also turn into a 12-year-old boy as we were talking about? Basically, basically, yeah. My kid told me I smelled the other day. And then when I got out of the shower, she was like, mommy, you smell nice and good.

I was like, what, for a change? Don't judge me, kid. It's quarantine. It hurt. I'm sorry. The kids are the most truth-tellers. Most truth-tellers. So she makes gonk all punk rock looking. That poor dog. Which she just like has the supplies to do. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. She has so many studded bracelets on at any given moment in this movie, which is great.

Her entire accessory collection is very, very good. Yeah, Yeah. Also, I found out, which I didn't know, her wig is so long in the back. You know, it goes all the way down to her butt. Because like, she was burned over three quarters of her body when she was a baby. Oh my god. And so she has like scars going down her back and stuff. Well, I'm glad she's like so comfortable with her body, you know?

Yeah. Yeah. Good for her. Yeah, I like that she sleeps in an Elvis t-shirt. I know you're not a fan. It's okay. I was gonna say, I felt like I had just seen Elvis somewhere, like an Elvis, I'm like an Elvis reference somewhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. I that. I that. I that. that. that. that. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that. that. that. that. that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that that's that's that that that's that's that that that's that that that that that this movie. Yeah, yeah. That's weird to wear a shirt of like your ex-boyfriend though.

And I feel like her name is based, it's Vampire and Elvis smashed together. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Plus, but, but girlie, because Elvai Bra. So then we meet the guy from Wayne's world who's also on the, um, morality council. Uh, his name is Kurt Fuller. He's also in, um, what, what, running man? It it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's name is Kurt Fuller. He's also in, what, Running Man? I don't know. Oh, Mr. Glotter. The real estate agent. Yeah, yeah. He's basically just like, literally cannot control himself. Oh, no, he's grinding on her at one time. Yeah. He doesn't, it doesn't seem like he wants to. It seems like it's, it just is happening. It's like an involuntary response. You see Yeah, he doesn't it doesn't seem like he wants to it seems like it's it just is happening It's like an involuntary response you see al-vira you start just like jiggling your pelvis I mean the 80s were nasty for that shit like not that all other times weren't and continue to be for ladies, but like it's a bit of a continuation of our evil dead conversation, huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, and but she also kicks the shit of him and kicks him out of the house. Yeah, but that also means that she like can't sell it because I guess he's the only realtor in town. So now she has to go find a job. Which she can't because she's been blackballed by chastity paraia. And the Morality Squad. The Morality Squad. I love when you see a Morality Council meeting, it's so silly. They have name plates. So she eventually gets the idea of, after finding out that Bob runs the local movie theater, that she is going to run a movie late at night. Yeah, she's going to do a riff track.

For Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, we find out. Which she calls the worst movie that has ever existed, I think. It's pretty bad. I've never seen it. Oof. Should we do it sometime? Eh, I'm okay. I'll just get real high and watch it, I guess. Yeah, that's going to be best for you. Okay, great. It's probably a good movie to watch. to watch. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the thi, the thi, thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the worst, the worst, the the the worst, the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, theeat theat theat toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooe, the. be best for you. For sure. It's probably a good movie to watch with El Vyra talking over it. Fair. There's that scene where she's helping Bob put the marquee up. And she's something about how to make duck calls. And she like falls and slips on the letter with holding a letter E so it looks like it says how to fuck? Yeah she says that matinee is spelled wrong though it is

not. She's taking down one of the E's. I love that because you know I had the subtitles on it and Matinee spelled correctly as she's saying the right which I appreciate it. Right. So the teens aren't going to come to her movie because their parents won't let them and their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I. their. I. their. their. their. their. I. I. I. I'm. It. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. So. And, their. And, te. And, tine. And, tine. And, tine. And, tine. And, their. And, their. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And. And, th. And, th. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, the teens aren't going to come to her movie because their parents won't let them. And two, the principal has threatened them with expulsion if they're found in the company of that flusy. So fucking ridiculous. So fucking ridiculous. And she's like, I might get so depressed I end up hanging myself in the oven. She's like, shut up Elvira. I really like that line.

But meanwhile, Bunko Robert Losia slash Gettysburg guy has, we've seen him like become a dark lord. We find out that he's like a satanic warlock. Just out of nowhere. I mean we're three quarters of the way into this movie. Nothing has happened. What are you talking about? She watched the car with her boobs. She jumped up and down. She made a lot of boob jokes. She threw a hot dog between her boobs for no reason? Oh my god. So she uh, so he's been trying to get the book from her because it's not oh my gosh we didn't even talk about her making the recipe........ the recipe???? the recipe. the recipe. the recipe. the recipe. the recipe. the recipe. the recipe. the recipe. the recipe. the recipe. the recipe. the recipe. the recipe. the recipe. the recipe. the recipe. the recipe. the the the the the the the the th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the he's been trying to get the book from her. Because it's not, oh my gosh, we didn't even talk about her making the recipe. Have we talked about the recipe? Oh, that hasn't happened yet. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, no worries.

Oh, my God. Oh, right, right. Right. So she,to support her. This is like one of the rare horror movies where teens are the most sympathetic Characters in the movie like the monsters are adults the kindest and the most reasonable people are teens. Yeah. Except for the perverts. Teens man. But even the perverted teens are like kind and pathetic. Totally. Yeah, she has to do her finale at the end of Attack of the Killer Tomatoes where she reenacts flesh dance. Yeah, she's dancing to the maniac song. Yeah. And then she gets carried,

but with tar and feathers, I guess. Yeah, because Patty replaces her bucket of glitter with tar, and tar and feathers her. Oh right, she's supposed to get covered with gold glitter, what she says is a guaranteed standing ovulation. Oh, she's so stupid, it's hilarious. She's so stupid. It's that like fun mixture of being a moron and self-assured. Yeah, it's true. I feel like most people who are morons and self-assured right now are just like totally unbearable Republicans.

But Elvira is really making it work. Yeah. Yeah. She goes home, she takes a bath while people are in her house. In gasoline. In gasoline. And then she decides to make a casserole from her aunt's cookbook. She's just putting worms in there. Like she's not like, oh, this isn't food.

I give the impression that Elvira may never have cooked before. Sure, but most people know that cooked or not, cooking or not, like, know that worms aren't food. Yeah, you just kind of... You gotta start from somewhere, right? Maybe just throw some worms in there. Yeah, I don't know. But I was so fucking glad she made that creature. It is so funny.

It's funny and it's gross. It's great. So she makes this like horrible monster creature. It looks straight out of like terror vision or something. Yeah, it had a good ghoulies vibe to it too. Goulies, totally, yeah. And it just like attacks her and Bob from the casserole dish. And they shove it down the garbage disposal, which is like my garbage disposal gets

fucked up on like spaghetti. Are you putting this like, vertebra creature in it? It's so nasty, it's just like leaving slime all over the sink. It was really good. Which she tries to make again for the Morality Council picnic. It backfires though, it just makes them all real horny. Edy McClurg when she goes, uh, oh boy, am I a horndog?

I lost it. She is so funny. What did she say to the one guy? She's like, oh, is this face taken or whatever who sits on some dude's face? Yes, she sits on his face. Is this face taken? That's very raunchy. Very raunchy. It's very raunchy. This is all happening to the Nina Simone. I put a

spell on you song. But when we first see the picnic, it's like there's this like very slow bandstand music playing. And then the Nina Simone kicks into like a very jaunty bandstand music, which the saxophone players like dancing around. It's adorable. Basically she gave them all Molly. Yep. Yeah. Yeah.

It's so weird. Like the old grandparents like the grandmother's squirting,irting mustard on the grandfather's ear and licking it off. Just licking it off. It's a long time to lick it off. It's disgusting. It's great. Oh my god. Oh and gonk has been stealing the cookbook slash spellbook and hiding it from Elvira so that Uncle Vinnie can't have it because she's trying to sell it to him. Right, she has no idea that it's a spellbook because again, Dumb-Dum. Yeah. But then somehow he has it because he goes to the council and has her arrested for witchcraft, but he doesn't get it until like two scenes later so I don't really know what that was about. Oh yeah they went into the oh he has her and she has Bob go down to get the spell book and hide it and that's when he gets it. No he has it before that because she's

already in jail that's why she has Bob go get it. Oh I know it doesn't make any sense he walks into the council with a book th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I'm the thi. I'm thi. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. I the th th th th th th th th th th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thee theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I'm the thi. I'm the she's already in jail. That's why she has Bob go get it. Oh. I know it doesn't make any sense. He walks into the council with a book and says she's a witch and they're like, oh, okay, arrest her. And then in the next scene she has, she's in jail and she's sending Bob back to hide the book. Weird. Which he does.

. . He's got the book he doesn't have the book, he's fares. Are you holding, hoping for continuity and Elvira Mistress of the Dark? No, no, but also they're really going to burn her. Oh I know. They're really going to, that's crazy. Can we talk about the flashback to pick and save orphanage when she's dropped off of the front porch? Oh my god, that baby with the makeup is too much. I literally couldn't take it. It is too much. It is so fucking cute. It's a little baby Elvira

that looks like adult O'Brien. She's got like the eyeliner that's in a shape. It's so good. They drew that on a baby. They painted that baby's fingernails. That's hard to do I bet. I can't imagine. I just painted that baby's fingernails. Oh, that baby is the highlight of this film, hands down. I just love that it's called the Pick and Save Orphanage. Pick and save. It's brutal. It's so silly.

But that's where we find out that Elvira has an amulet that she's been wearing as a ring, which she has the great line. It's a powerful amulet that can just go back to looking like crappy jewelry. Because it looks like crap. Yeah. She's like the only power it seems to looking like crappy jewelry. Yeah, maybe it does. Maybe it is. Yeah. She's like the only power it seems to have right now is looking cheap. Yeah, that's what she says.

Oh, we forgot to talk about the Tic-Tac cake. Oh, I would eat a Tic-Tac pie for sure. Ew, it would be so crunchy. Yeah, crunchy pie. It's like a strusel. Anyway, so, so they arrest her for witchcraft. Yeah. They set up pires, one for her and one for the dog. Oh, poor gonk. The dog's in jail with her. And she's like, why are you so upset? You're going to be fine.

And he like nudges her and she looks out the window, there's like a tiny little pyre for him, it's so sad. There is no trial. No, no, no, no, no. All happens in one night and the town sheriff hands down the sentencing. And in like a like, I don't give a fuck way as well. Like they're used to this, like they maybe do this often. Because there are Girl Scouts with marshmallows on sticks, which is hilarious, but also like, how often are you burning people in this town?

Is this the wicker man? Edie v. Clerk does say they should do this every year. Oh, she does. You're right. Also, earlier we saw that Elvira discovered that Patty is wearing a padded bra. She doesn't have giant boobs. Yeah, and that's like worse that denigrates her in some way. It's so weird. She's less, less than now. I did like that every time Elvira and her had an altercation later on,

Elvira would just stare at her like boobs. Yeah, making her real self-conscious about it. Such a dick. So Patty was so embarrassed by this that she decides that she'll light Elvira on fire, and she does. Not before gunk turns into a rat and escapes the prison cell. And Elvira says I took too much an acid in the 60s. Oh my god, Elvira.

It's so stupid. It's so stupid. But then while she's on, as the flames begin to engulf her, she realizes that her ring has powers, she holds it to the sky and brings down a rainstorm which puts out the fire. And Uncle Vinny is just like wandering around town turning people into pigs. And he's now shaped his bangs into a devil lock, which look way better. And he has a lot more face.

Yeah, a lot more face. So when she goes into the store, I don't even know what storefront it is and comes out dressed like Rambo holding a bazooka? Why is she Rambo, though? 1988 Rambo reference. I guess. He was a big deal back then. It's true. It's so goofy. I mean I guess Rambo 2 had even come out by that time. Yeah, I think actually Rambo 3 was probably that year.

I think the Rambo cartoon was out around this time. Oh wow, okay. Yeah. It's just like in the... You know, when Rambo hung out with teens. What? That was not my... I don't remember that at all. No, you would have been too young and I don't think it had any lasting balance. I don't think it was in reruns. That's fair. When she is trying to escape the cemetery that Uncle Vinny's chasing her through and she uses her breasts to break the gates open. Did you like that? I house has a loose board that Elvira trips on.

That loose board comes back up and gives Uncle Vinny a nut shot later on in the movie. It does. And then she gives him a high heel head wound, which is not even our first. The first of course being Brian from Wings in single white female. RIP, Brian from Wings. I mean in that movie, not in real life, don't you dare? No, no, Steve Weber's still around. Stephen Weber lives on. Yeah, Uncle Vinny tries to shoot her with magic. He deflects it with a ring, burns the house down.

Yada, yada, yada. A hand gets cut off, I think right? Yeah, yeah and it's chasing her around and that's how she gets the ring back. Right, right, right, right, right. And he dies and she gets her uncle's estate. Right. Which is his fortune? It's so silly. So silly. But now that she has all this money she can do her Vegas show. Well it's weird because like all of the town to to her. They're all coming up and they're all like Elvira we were weir weir we were wrong we were wrong we were wrong we were wrong we were wrong we were wrong we were wrong wrong we were wrong wrong we were wrong wrong wrong. We were wrong. We were wrong. We were wrong. We were wrong. We were wrong. We were wrong. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, she can do her Vegas show. Well, it's weird because like all of the town comes to apologize to her. They're all coming up and they're all like, Alvaira, we were wrong, we love you. You're a part of our community. And then literally the next scene is her in Las Vegas. Like, no, no, like, accepting of this.

No, like, just goes to Las Vegas and starts shaking one titty and not the other, you know? It's very, it's a wonderful life where the town comes to, oh, at the end of it, the town comes and gives George money so that he can pay his bills and stuff. Oh, jeez. And this is very much like them all, they all show up with like a dish of food for her and all this stuff. It's a covered dish. I love that when we get to Vegas and it says like floor show Elvira plus Shekie Green.

It's just like a ridiculous comedian. Yeah. Her Vegas costuming is confusing. I think you mispronounced amazing. Amazing, I did. I do love the devils. I think the devils are very very good. Yeah. But then she starts rapping, which is not, it's like she's doing a very Debbie Harry, like Rapture thing.

Yeah. And it's very uncomfortable. My name's Elvira and I'm here to say. Oh my God. Then she does the, she moves one tassel but not the other, which I guess is a legit skill. Like I can't, I was like watching her hand, watching her do it, like how she moves her hand to make it happen. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm going to figure it out.

Yeah, I'm going to figure it out. But yeah, my last note just says, did she leave Bob behind? But you're telling me he was there. No, he was there with gunk. That's wonderful. I'm pretty sure. I'm happy to hear that. And that's it. That's the movie. Well, and of course she says Unpleasant Dreams at the end of the movie, which is her sign-

sign-off from her TV show. She does. It's like, this is the Vegas show that she had to go into. It's nothing. Who is going to see this and how is she making money? It's not even like a burlesque show. It's just like, do you want to see Elvira sing a song, I guess it is? She's singing? she's definitely singing. I didn't realize she sang. Yeah, she sang in a couple bands back in the...

No, no, no, I mean the Elvira of this, not Cassandra Peterson, Elvira. Oh, you don't want me to know way too much information about Cassandra Peterson's life. Yeah, it's damn silly. It's so silly. This movie is just like, how did this get even like get made? My last note is just this movie is absurd. It's hardly a movie, honestly. And it's not even the last movie she'll do.

There's a sequel in 2001. 2001, you're joking. Nope. Oh, I don't, I never, I don't remember that. I never saw it. 2001, you're joking. Nope. Oh, I don't remember that. I never saw it. I don't know anything about it. Oh, you haven't seen Elvirus Haunted Hills? No, have you?

Have you? Yeah, of course I have. Why did I ask? Katie? Alan. You want to rate this movie? thi You want to rate this movie? Yeah, you can go first. This movie is mad, silly. Yeah. Do not give it a 10? It's barely a movie. Yeah. No, this movie is honestly a five. Yeah. And I'll give it a seven because I have such undying love for Elira. That's totally fair. I'm going to split your difference and give it a six because it's extremely watchable but it's not even a movie. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a 10. It's a 10. It's a 10. It's a 10. It's a 10. It's a 10. It's a 10. It's a 10. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's a. It's a the. It's a the. It's a the. It's a the. It's a the. It's a the. It's a to. It's a to. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's to. It. It. It's a fire. That's totally fair. I'm going to split your difference and give it a six because it's extremely watchable but it's not even a movie. It's like it's just her looking

into the camera and being like titties. Which is fine but that's not a movie. I can't even think like this isn't even like hey with your friends are watching movies put this one on to it like no, you're fine. You're fine. You're fine. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. It's not thi. It's not thi. It's not thi. It's not thi. It's not th. It's not th. It's not th. It's not th. It's not th. It's not th. It's not th. It's not th. It's not th. It's th. It's not th. It's th. It's th. It's not thi. It's not thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. watching movies, put this one on to two, like, no, you're fine. You're fine, don't even bother. But if this is on on like a Saturday afternoon, definitely gonna watch it. Yeah, that's fair. All right, Elvira. She did it.

She did it. She did it. And this wasn't even my suggestion, by the way. This was yours. I just was flipping through shutter and I thought, well that would be fun. And you were right. I was. I'm never wrong. I'm wrong all the time. They let me know. Who does?

Who let you know? The internet. Oh yeah, they're jerks. Oh, God, never read the comments. Get fucked wherewulf ambulance. There's a pandemic going on and that's what you got to say for yourself. That's fair enough. Katie, can I take you to a little place that I'd like to call mail bag? Please do. Mailbag.

This is from Fultrovis the Bright on Instagram. Okay. They asked us a question. When are you going to review weekend at Bernies and or weekend at Bernies 2? Would you like me to answer that question? I would. Next week we're going to do weekend at Bernies 2. Get ready for it. It's a horror movie. He's a zombie, spoilers for that movie. So I think that works. I think we can do that. We can at Bernie's two next week. Yeah. Thank you for suggesting it. Not like we haven't been talking about it for like six

years, but thank you for finally giving us that push over the edge to just give ourselves over to our lovable Zaney period. Yes. Fully embracing being ridiculous. Yeah. What else are we going to do? We're barely making it it. I'm glad we have this this this this this this this to make this to make this to make to make this to make th. to make th. to make to make to make th. to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make glad we have this to make it with though. Hell yeah. Whatever that set and structure I just did was. Yeah, I just agreed with it. Hell yeah! Fuck here, whoooo! Wh-ha!

What's it? So come back for a weekend at Bernies 2. I guess, yeah, enjoy us on the internet. Leave us a rating a review. And thanks, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's Find us on the internet. Leave us a rating or review. And thanks for listening to another episode of Where Ophambulance. Bye. Bye. you