Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 285- The Gravedancers (2006)

Episode Date: June 15, 2020

In this week's episode, we're tackling a listener suggestion from friend of the podcast Leah Ashley-- the absolutely horrendous 2006 supernatural horror film "The Gravedancers." THANKS A LOT. Special topics for your consideration include: smelling your partner's jacket just for funsies, knowing anything about Chopin, a surprising connection to "Bring it On," a very special listener mail and CULPEPPER! This episode also features an extremely great outro song by A. Wallis called "EMT." Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down.  Please don't forget to donate to National Lawyers Guild for our fundraising drive to support Black Lives Matter. All you have to do is donate to National Lawyers Guild (nlg.org) and forward us a receipt at [e-mail], send us a screenshot or tag us on social media. We'll be matching 10% of your donations and if we hit $2,500 in the month of June, I (Katie) will touch a horse. On video. We already have the horse lined up. On one hand, I want to raise a lot of money for a seriously good cause; on the other hand, I kind of want to faint when I think about actually touching a horse. As of the posting of this episode, we're just about 25% of the way there.  There were high highs and low lows of horror in the year 2006, and we've covered a bunch of them. One high- Episode 127- "Slither." One low- Episode 111- "Silent Hill." One that transcends ratings? Episode 108- "The Wicker Man." Have you been thinking about buying a t-shirt but perhaps none of the designs spoke to you? Then we are certain you'll love our brand new design by the inimitable Justin Gray, "Close Enough, Lucio!" You can get this design printed on a t-shirt, cell phone case, throw pillow and more weird items at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance.  Have you seen this one? What did you think? Let us know your thoughts at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Twitter @werebulance or on Instagram @werewolfambulance. You can also email us for our segment "MAILBAG!" at [e-mail] and if you're feeling super generous, leave us a rating and a review on Apple podcasts or wherever you can. Or hey, just tell a friend about us. Thank you for helping us continue to grow.  Theme music by Aaron "Toxic" Mortimer SoundCloud- https://soundcloud.com/toxic_dsm Contact- Facebook (ToxicDSM) or Instagram (toxic_dsm) Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast. 

Hi, Alan. Hey Katie. It's a it's a tough time, huh? Yeah, it is. We're making it through. We're doing fun stuff to give people a break from the Hardcore monotony. Yeah. To quote Fresh Prince. Yeah, but uh, to take you back to the hardcore monotony and the sadness and despair for a while, you know, it's probably pretty obvious from listening to us that we support the Black Lives Matter movement and th th th th th th on th on th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thus thu thus thus thus thus th th th th th th th th th th th th th thu- thu- thu- thu-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th thu. thu. thu. thu. thu to thu to-a thuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu thuuu thuu thu thu thu thu th listening to us that we support the Black Lives Matter movement. And on that note, we're going to do a charity fund drive here. Yeah, we're going to raise some money with you for the National Lawyers Guild. Do you want to tell me what that is? Sure. The National Lawyers Guild is the nation's oldest and largest progressive bar association, and was the first one in the US to be racially integrated. Their mission is to use the law

for the people, uniting lawyers, law students, legal workers, and jailhouse lawyers to function as an effective force in the service of people by valuing human rights and the rights of ecosystems over property interests. That sounds like something we should support. All right so so here's what we're going to do. Yeah, you're the you're the money person. Talk to me about money. All the goal is to raise $2,500. We will match 10% of that. All you have to do is go to NLG.org, donate there. You can just then send us evidence of it, whether it's forwarding us the donation email, tagging us on social media, screenshoting it and sending it to us, whatever. If we hit $2,500 with our 10% match,

what are we gonna do? I'm gonna touch a horse. And we're gonna film it, we're gonna film it, and share that with you. And literally as I said that, I started to sweat. I felt like a bead of sweat under my arm roll down. Look, we're bringing people together, we're helping people out, and we're uniting Katie and horses. What better thing could we be doing? We all need to change our minds, right? So maybe I need to change my mind about horses.

That's a worthy, goddam cause even if I don't touch a horse. So, you know, make your donation, send us the proof. We'll tally it up, and I guess what, by the end of June we'll say. Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That sounds good. You guys have to tell June 30th. We'll put a little counter on our Facebook. I don't know how this works. I'll just make checks marks on a piece of paper. I would like you to do that.

Count down to horse. But yeah, we figured this would be something we could do that's fun and also involves you guys and does something really positive and could help people out. Yeah. Because we got to do what we can. Yeah, all of us need to chip in and make this world a little bit better. A lot better. If you can only donate a dollar, donate a dollar, it's one dollar closer to my fears being realized. Yeah, you want to scare Katie.

Alan. Is this a movie about a young Jose Conseco going to be with his college friends and dancing on a grave? I mean in my notes I refer to him only as a broad worst so... yes. I've never seen a human being that is so swole from the neck up. He has the weirdest build. It's like, he looks like a Brotwurst, but with scoliosis. He looks like he just learned how to walk. I don't, I feel like a monster. The Brotwurst don't even have a spine.

No, all of the things that I have to say about him in my notes are so, so mean and I genuinely feel bad about it. I just thought that he looked like, you know when you look at something that's underwater and it gets like really size distorted? Yeah, yeah. It looked like the top of it was above water and normal size and then it was like made it under body look further away. It was very confusing. then. then. thuuuuu. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thi. thi. that, that, that, thi. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. I th. I the. I thea. I thea. I thea. I thean. I thean. I thean. I thean. I thean. I thean. I thean. I thean It was very confusing. Very confusing. I think he's a real actor too. He had a lot of credits. I think he's in a lot of action movies. Are you talking about my man from Prison Break? Did you watch prison break? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know these on the team. I don't know. I don't know. I saw you crying to the last episode of The Good Place. A. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. S. S. S. S. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. S. A. A. S. A. A. A. A. A. S. A. A. S. A. A. A. A. A. S. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. th. A. th. th. A. A. The Good Place. You watch Network TV. Oh man.

Fuck, I just finished the first season of Broadchurch the other day. Oh, is this the first I watched Broadchurch? Oh, God, how did you make it this long? Because I had seen bits and pieces of it, and I knew the ending. Yeah, oh you did. Okay, so it didn't tear you apart then. Oh you'd be wrong if you thought that was because it turns out the little Allen's tear ducks are a full yeah so anything is gonna dump them dump them just dump them just dump them yeah gotta bail him out every so often. Uh-huh every 20 35 minutes. Yeah so grave dancers thank you again to the fan who suggested this movie.

Thank you, Leah, Ashley. Can I tell you something? Yeah. This is the third time I've seen this film. Shush. So I watched it once on-demand, many, you know, years ago, probably like, close to the time that it came out to on-demand.

Yeah. And then I watched I watched th a year later, and I legitimately didn't remember that I had already seen it until that scene at the end with the little boy in the fire. And I was like, oh, fuck, I'm deja viewing this. So I had watched it twice prior to this. This was my third viewing of the film, The Grave Dancers. dancers. What is my shit life? Can I tell you what my favorite name in Grave Dancers is before we even get into the movie? I would love that. Francis

Culpeper. Francis Culpeper. I love when they're just calling her Culpeper. I love when they're just calling her Culpeper. Vincent Colpeper. Vincent Coucher and Francis Culpeper. Oh, fuck. This movie opens on a woman who looks like a bunco Misha Barton getting slapped around by an invisible ghost, I guess. Ghost murders? Invisible and deadly. I was like, I kept waiting for her to have some relevance to this movie and be like,

oh, that was my sister. No. I think she had- She just another naughty, naughty, gravedan. I think she had just danced on a grave, yeah. That's not great. Great. I have done so much weird shit in cemeteries at after dark. I just didn't recite poetry.

No. I mostly just drink. I like on the beginning of this movie because the opening credits are like a spooky made for TV font. Like it's like this is a Halloween bad. Although this does have a Bring It On connection. Tell me. Claire Kramer, who plays Allison. Who is Allison? Was the partner of Jose Konseco. Okay. Who? Why does she not leave him? Oh, why does she not leave him? A hundred times a day, why did she not leave him? She was in Bringing On, she was one of the ladies in bringing on.

Oh, is she Courtney? Oh, I love Courtney. I can't believe I didn't put that together. God, she's so much better in that movie than she is in this one. Admittedly, she had, hmm, nothing to work with. Like, why are these two women fighting over this disappointed Bratwurst? There's points in this movie where you could see how bored the people are with delivering their dialogue. Oh my God, I can't believe I was saying this again. So he's British, I think, and the... Is he? Yeah, I think that what's happening for him is the only way he can stay American is by not th a thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. theeeeeeat, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, th Yeah, I think that what's happening for him is that the only way he can stay

American is by not moving his mouth. So he's trying to say all of his lines without moving his mouth. Oh, he's Australian. Oh, he's Australian. I was even farther off. No. So he's just talking like this. It's like it's like his jaw wired shut. It's true. Yeah. As we know, the more you yell, the more you lose the accent. It's true, the more you yell, the more Australian you become. Can you hear those fireworks going off behind me? No. Okay, good. Oh, wait, now I do. It's been the 4th of July since the middle of May. It's Memorial Day. It sounds like just like you're tapping a pen or something.

It's fine. So we meet these people after the inexplicable woman being beaten by a ghost scene. She's being really beaten by that ghost. Oh, it beats the shit out of her. And then hangs her over like a staircase. Which I liked I like her kicking off on the staircase for a long time. We got to watch all of that. You're a big fan of that. Yeah mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I'm never terrified of tripping and accidentally hanging myself somehow. What would you have around your, it's like you're wearing neckties? I don't know, I don't know what I would do.

Look, get fears, but make them rational, fear horses. Oh, are you going to get on me for having irrational fears because I am laden with them? What is it going to say? What am I irrationally afraid of? I'm afraid of very frightening things, like horses, lakes, and the outdoors in general? I'm terrified that when th th turn on a mountain that my car is just going to shoot off of the mountain somehow. Sometimes I get nervous driving up the steep hills in Pittsburgh like going up Rialto Street that my car is just going to tip over backwards. It has never happened to anyone but it will happen to me. Stupid Corolla. So, we see this woman get beat up. There's a quick flash of an envelope sealed with wax. I miss that entirely, but thank you for bringing it up.

And then we're at, as my second note says, next scene is a funeral for some hoser. Who the fuck is this dude? I don't know who this dude is. I have, my next note says, Angelina Nolee. Because that's what the woman looks like. The woman in a sexy funereal garb. I found that woman to be very attractive. No, she was beautiful.

She was just sort of a bunco, Angelina Jolie. Oh yeah, huh? No, she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her Angelina Jolie. Oh yeah. No, her hair looked great. I was extremely jealous of it. Even when she's like all fucked up later, she's like, she's fine? Yeah, she looks great. She's not taking her being fucked up very seriously, which I found to be a little bit unrealistic.

Well, there's the point where she doesn't have lips anymore. It's the. Dev. I don't give a fuck about Dev. So these people are supposed to be college friends and they're supposed to be not that far out of college but main dude is fucking 40. Am I wrong? The other guy is like, yeah, he's like in his second mortgage on his house. Like things are not going well. No, he lost his job three jobs ago, you know. That's Sid. He says, I didn't miss Dev's funeral because of work. I just didn't go.

Like, oh, is that supposed to make you a sympathetic character? A Sid? They go to the cemetery after drinking at a bar and they're drinking night train and champagne at the cemetery. And I was like, how is that not either a wrestling duo? Or the worst rap group you've ever heard. Oh my god, it is just... They're like, they're drinking at a bar and they're like, they're like,

it's like, let's go to the cemetery and drink whatever, whatever, and they're like, no, we're not doing that, we're going home. So he goes to the cemetery, and then they just show up. There's no reason that they show up. Now we're all here. There's never a reason given. It's so dumb. It's just friendship. Friendship brings them all together. Yeah, I guess.

Friendship, extramarital affairs, and being the worst bottle clinkers I've ever seen. Why do you say that? They're like trying to tap the necks of the bottle together. And then they're listening to like Bunko Gin Blossoms while they're hanging out in the cemetery? What year is this movie? Like 2003 maybe? I think so. Sometime around then. Is that the height of the Jim Blossom's power? Oh no, why would you even ask me that? I figured you were a big plosom head. Yeah, but not in 2003. New miserable experience came out in...

Don't sigh at me. New miserable experience came out in 1992. No. Yes, it did. Wow. Yeah, how dare you? How dare I? How dare you? Fun fact, I like that, hey jealousy song. Fun fact, we covered it at the last show we ever played. I know. I know. I know. the that. the thou. th. that. th. that, the th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. the to. to, to. to, the the tho. to. the tho. tho. the hey, jealousy song. Fun fact, we covered it at the last show we ever played. I know, fun fact I was there. You're like, oh yeah, you were. Thanks for coming to that. It was nice to have your support. Wouldn't have missed it. Yeah. We fucked it up though, so it was great. Thanks. I love that song. It's a fucking well put together pop song. You know what, if you don't like that song, I think there's probably something wrong with you.

You're just denying yourself a certain pleasure. Yeah, you're just like trying to be something that is a little bit too much. What if this is the thing that gets people to shut the podcast off? Don't gin blossom shame me. Found out about you as a Dece Jam too, I want to just put that out there. Oh sure, sure, sure. You know what? That record is good. This movie is bad. Let's continue. Let's continue. Have I told you about I recently found out that I enjoyed the music of Gaslight Anthem? I don't know what's happening to me. Me too!

I remember like listening to their first record while I was like going to visit my very first friend baby in the hospital and like getting really teary-eyed listening to like that the track about, I think it's the second track on that first album, that doesn't matter. They're just like a delightful poor man's Bruce Springsteen. And I don't see how you can be mad at it. Yeah, I think that's probably true. I think it's like that credence thing where everybody loves credence, you know? Yeah.

Except for those people who emailed us and was like, who's creedens? What? Harris, who is the Bratwares Konseco, and Kira, who is Angelita Nolly, are going to make out in the cemetery. Mm-hmm. But this is after they find a card on the deceased's grave, which is so called Kithulu, that I can't even stomach it.

But it's like a call, it's like Carl of Kato. Yeah, like, it's just like a letter off and wrong. Carl of Ketulu. It's a poem about living for the living, I guess. Always read whatever you find on a grave out loud, always. And then dance and frolic. Yeah. Oh, I have, I have shitty violent fems written down here, which I thi thi th-- th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th- th- th- the the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It is is the, it is the, it is thi, it is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's thea' th. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, like, like, it's like, like, it's like, like, like, it's like, like, the. Yeah. Oh, I have, I have, I have, I have shitty violent fems written down here, which I think is what you took to be shitty gin blossoms. That's gans. Yeah. That's gans. Man, I love the violent

fems too, though. I'll tell you what. Who doesn't? See, that's what I'm saying. So Harris passes out and we find him at home in bed with his partner. No she's sitting and drinking coffee disapprovingly at the kitchen table and he walks in in the morning. She has like a, she's sort of a Karen. She's like a, Can I Speak to your manager cut? And she does. She's like very, we see her at the beginning when she's leaving the funeral so that he can go drinking with his friends and they have like a kiss but it's like a, you know, like you're just like basically hitting your teeth into each other. And she says I'm just not comfortable being here. Why? Well, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. She, th. She, th. She, th. She's, th. She's, th. She's, th. She's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he to he he to he to to heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. And, he's like, th. Why? Well, she's staring at Kira. We find out later that Kira was stalking them. But get over it.

Ha ha ha ha ha. If your partner's ex-girlfriend was stalking him, you probably wouldn't get over it. No, I've not gotten over much smaller transgressions than that one. I'm petty as fuck. You know, this actually sort of ties in because I'm watching this movie, I was thinking about it, a friend of mine from college passed away in a car accident several years ago. And so we all, a number of us got together at her favorite bar on campus, those of us who still live in Pittsburgh, which was Hemingways for those of you in Pittsburgh. And we ended up just getting drunk and talking about how none of us really liked her, which

is how, which is one, grave dancers, and two, I'm petty as fuck. They don't even talk about this dude. No, we learn nothing about Devlin. We never even see an image of thi. thi. thi. them. them. them. them, tham. tham. tham. tham about this dude. No, we learn nothing about Devlin. We never even see an image of Devlin. He doesn't matter in one any way. But I have to get to this scene, so uh, sausage can say, go goes to take a shower. And his partner picks up his coat,

sees some stains on it and sniffs it. Ooh, why would you ever? It's gonna smell like sex stuff. Ew. Ew. Or he's satin something. Yeah, either way, just throw it in the wash. It's not for you.

She spends this entire movie just being like, eh. Well, she disappears for the middle third of it. Does she? I feel like I'm constantly being braided with this woman's presence. Or ragged by Karen. Yeah, Karen is just like, I'm here, I'm wearing khakis and you will listen to me. I had the thought that I really liked her haircut from the front and then when it gets her to back, I was not a the the middle the middle the middle the middle the middle the middle the middle the middle the middle the middle the middle the middle the middle the middle the middle the middle the middle the middle the middle the middle the middle the middle the middle the middle the middle the middle the middle the middle the middle the middle the middle the middle the middle the middle the middle the middle for the middle for th for th for th for th for th for th for thiers, thiers for thiers for thiers for thiers for th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the middle, I the middle, I the middle, I the middle, I the middle, I the middle, I the middle, I th. th. th. th. th. thi. the. the. theea. thea. thea. thea. the. the. the. thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, I th. to me. I had the thought that I really liked her haircut from the front and then when it gets her them back I was not a fan. It's very 2003 I used to be in college.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would have put butterfly clips in this at some point. At some point, but not now because I'm a professional now. I'm an administrative assistant to the executive, uh, I lost it. It's gone. It was almost there. Yeah, sorry, Karen. Here's another note I have. He looks like a Broughtwurst mixed with a monkey. That's not okay. You can't say that. You went after this guy hard. Oh, it just keeps going. Every time I get to one, I'm going to read them to you, okay? Yeah. I just got so fucking hung up on her smelling his jacket. That's it, the movie ended for you there.

Like, are you going to smell him and go, what is this? What is this? What? What is it? And truly, what is it? Because we're told they just make out, right? Yeah, yeah, unless he- So is it like dirt from sitting on the ground? In which case, like, probably not gonna smell. And two, what does that tell you? He got dirt on his jacket. Were you grave dancing?

Were you grave dancing? This is, this is dirt from the deplorable section. What? What? Why? They get a scary phone call that's just hissing on the phone. Yeah. Cut two weeks later. And a child laughing. Isn't there a child laughing, which is meant to be the spookiest of all sounds? I didn't get the subtitle for that.

No, sorry. Yeah, the sound in this movie is so off. It's terrible. It was like, whenever, whenever, whenever, whenever, whenever, when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when the the the sound the sound the sound the sound the sound the sound in this movie is so off. It's terrible. It was like, whenever there's something actiony happening, it's deafening. And then when somebody's talking, you're like, exquise me? A baking powder? Is this mumble core? What's happening right now?

It's crab core? I think. Remember? Oh, attack? Yeah. That's actually, that I'm thinking about it, you told me about Crabcourt. Just remembered. Oh man. I'm a joy.

Honestly, you've brought so much delay to my life. That my dick, my dick, my dick song. I was just going to reference when. Have you heard the song let me smell your dick? No, I have not, Alan. It's all about a woman that's got a cheating boyfriend. Oh, fuck. That's like this movie. You're really tying it in though.

Let me smell your dick in your jacket also. Your dick check. Let me smile your dick and if that won't work, how about your jacket? So... Oh, no. We flashed the th th th th th th th th th th th th th thee thee thee thee thee thee thee thu thu thu that that that that So, oh God, that's so fucked up. It's so gross. Ew, no. We flashed the two weeks later, and Sausage Kaseko's on the phone, and he is just basically on the phone going,

lawyer, lawyer, lawyer, lawyer, lawyer, lawyer, lawyer, lawyer, lawyer, lawyer, lawyer, lawyer, lawyer, lawyer, lawyer, lawyer. He's, he's a hundred years old. He's a hundred years old. And the pipes in the house are all banging and clanging. There's thunder going on outside. And he leaves the house and it all stops. Yeah. And then is this where she hears the ghost sex? I think that happens later, but yeah, and it's around this time.

Yeah, she hears like footfalls and then she goes inside the house and she hears a woman moaning. Yeah, ghost sex haveers. Invisible, horny, ghost sex. Oh, I know what's on that coat now, ghost sex. To ghosts blow a load, you think? They're not gonna procreate. Are you still there or did the call freeze? Not all loads are blown for chloroprocreation.

Oh, I'm sorry, in my Catholic upbringing they are. I just don't think there's a reason for a ghost to, I mean it's like, you think it would just be vapor, I guess. I'm sorry, have you not seen the, uh, Demi Moore, oh, ohr I think of his name? Patrick Swayze? Patrick Swayze vehicle Ghost? You know I have. That movie makes me cry like a child. He goes into the light, Alan. He does.

He makes out with his wife via what be called Burke. They don't make out, they just caress. That's all. You're ghosty fucking. They're fucking. They're fucking, but are they blowing loads? That's all I'm asking. I haven't known the sense. Beefe is installing an alarm. It takes him like four scenes to install that alarm and then

when she sees it his Karen she's like well looks good. It's not meant to be decorative Karen it's meant to be functional. Her saying it looks good and him saying hey babe is that Chopin? Great. This guy fucking does not know Chopin. Also like she this woman I feel bad because I have a lot of notes about how she's a terrible actor I'm surprised to learn woman, I feel bad because I have a lot of notes about how she's a terrible actor. I'm surprised to learn that I loved her so much and bring it on because I felt like,

I felt like she couldn't cry if she was watching someone punch her cat, you know? She is like, she's incredible and buffy. She's great and bring it on. Yeah, yeah, she's in the later seasons of Buffy and she's fan-fucking tastic. So it's just this movie that sucks. It's this movie. But the fact that he goes, is that Chopin? Great! Great!

No one has ever said, is that Chopin? Great. Also, this fucking Brought worst in a collar, just not know Chopin, because that's to Corn Flakes. They're great. But that's the level of dialogue. Hey, you put up the alarm. It looks great. It looks great. Oh, fuck you, Karen. It's a beige box with buttons.

Your jacket smells like sucks. Your dick is stinky. I love how every other episode that we record now is just completely out of hand because by the time we get to the second one we're just like, ugh! It's also, I just, you are a blessing because I need to laugh and, oh, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. So we get to, he sees that no one's playing the piano.

Right, he walks into the room and it hits like a discordant note and we're like, oh, I guess that's spooky. There's a real cute cat in their house with like that two-tone face that I always appreciate. I do like that cat So they wake up or Allison wakes up and there's a woman in her room who looks like she has real bad Dandruff because she's just like rubbing her fingers in her hair yeah Like she's Ali Sheedy in the breakfast clothes. Oh, I love that scene. Yeah, who doesn't? Oh, that's a movie we should do sometime? Yeah, huh? Yeah, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. Yeah, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that's that's that's that's that's just like that's just like that's just like that's just like that's just like that's just like that's just like that's just like, that's that's th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. thi the the the the the the thi the thi that that thi thii thiii thii thi thi thi thi thi the breakfast clothes. Oh, I love that scene. Yeah, who doesn't? Oh. That's a movie we should do sometime. It turns out she's a demon with golf ball eyes.

She chases Karen over the bed, but it looks so bad that they have to put it in slowmo, which actually makes it look so bad. The effects in this movie are horrible. The makeup is terrible. The CGI is horrible. Beefe goes to investigate and there's a loud knocking at the door and they're like, it's a ghost. Is it a ghost?

No, it's a cops. Yeah the door and they're like, it's a ghost. Is it a ghost? Is it a ghost? No, it's a cops. Yeah. Why is it the cops? I don't know, but they think that it's Kira that was in the house for some reason. Oh, I think Karen calls the cops maybe. No, because he's so walking around with a golf club and they just just just just just. Karen. Karen's can get the cops there in like five minutes. And so they go to Kira's house and it's all fludged up.

I have a note that says maybe this is why Kira isn't married. Just, because there's like a big deal made out of how the fact the Kira is still single. Oh my god. And there's a bunch of writing on the wall. Was it the poem? Was that was written on the wall? I don't know. I wasn't going that is only there to make me laugh, which is, Kira is in the house. Because she was in the house. I am straight to the moron.

You've wrote that down to make yourself laugh and then you were like, I'm gonna say it to our thousands of listeners. They appreciate how dumb I am. I think they do. I don't think it's that you're to our thousands of listeners. They appreciate how dumb I am. No, I think they do. I don't think it's that you're dumb. I think it's that you're incredibly lovable. So they take it, they find Kira in the bathtub and she is in very bad shape.

Yeah, groan in the tub. Pee, th do that. She is. What's on that jacket? This jacket smells like dicks. I wish this movie is called What's on that jacket? What's on that jacket? Oh shit, I just remembered. Did you listen to that song that I sent you that our fan? We need to drop it in, huh?

Wait, who sent us a jingle? A period Wallace. Oh, that's awesome. I can't wait to hear it. Maybe Axon are dead pools, Savini's sightings at the pool. And we do with Finland's to fulfill reviews. Killer clouds at the face. Can Emily in his face? Appearance a basketcase. Please make a guide to -in-time basketcase,

please make a kid in your grave. E&T. A moral comedy reviews hungry Brian from wings and Stephen Kang. E&T. We live deliciously bad temperatries of bees recently come today. A paranormal act in today. A paranormal act of duties. From this to at tempot trees obese, christly con today. A paranormal active titties from Mr. Rogers to me, EFT, EFT. Can I ask you a really important question? Yes. What's a pair of normal active titties?

That's what we renamed the movie. That was the porn parody of paranormal activity. A pair of normal active titties from Mr. Rogers City? Oh my God. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you to that listener. Holy fuck.

That is the best misfit song ever written, I have to listener. Holy fuck. That is the best misfit song ever written I have to say. It's so good. It's so good. Thank you. Oh my God. I am just touched and that was amazing. I'm lightheaded. Thank you. Thank you. Oh man. Oh my god. I'm today. I'm to see Tom Sveenia at the pool. Too this. I'm so bummed. I'm not going to see Tom Savini at the pool this year because they're not opening. I'm so bummed. There is a Tom Savini mural going up though. So that's going to be pretty exciting. I'm not sure where. I think by I assume in Bloomfield. That's dope. I mean in your neighborhood. Oh, you just said it out loud. They can all find out it's fine. Also. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to to to to to to to to to th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. to. to. to. to. to to to. to to be. to be. Oh. to be. to be. to be. the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. the the. the. the. the the tom. the the tom. tom. the tom. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to It's fine. Also, should I invite him to the pool that Vicki got at her house? Should I invite Tom Sabini to come over? I might. Yeah, don't look at cocoa butter. Let's do this. Tom Sabini, if you're listening, my cousin Vicki lives about nine blocks from us and got a pool. If you want to come over, hit me up. We're all family. It's at th. It's. It's. the the the the the the the th. th. the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to come in to come in to come in to come in to come in to come in to come in to to to to to to the the the the th. I, th. I th. I th. I th. I the th. I the the the thin. the the the the the pool. the pool. the pool. the pool. the pool. the the pool. th. thin. to to to to to to to hit me up. We're all family meals at Gmail.com. It's pretty nice.

There's a no-peeing rule, though, which I agreed to. Tom, you've got to give some money to the National Lawyers Guild, and then you'll be invited to the party. Tom Savini, give $2,500, I'll touch two friends with horses. I do. In this state, I have friends with horses outside of the state as well. How far are we going to have to travel for me to touch a horse? Hopefully not to California.

Although it might be a nice trip. I'm not getting on a plane right now. Oh, we'llto the episode. Thanks for that musical break. Yeah. It's like yo Gabba Gabba in here. That means nothing to most of them. If that song wasn't so long, I would make it our new theme song. It could probably be our end theme. That's true. That's true.

Paranormal activity, titties. I can't believe we said that all loud. that was that was that was. That was. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. that's th. that's that's thi. that's that's that's that's that's thi. that's thi said that out loud. That was definitely you. Am I all the titty material? No, it's a pun. You're the pun guy. It's true. Yeah. Okay, so they teach. Oh, sorry, no, no, no. It's funny, so it's probably you. No. Shut up. Fuck off. Okay, so Kira is in such bad shape because she's been being raped by a ghost. Yeah, that's been biting her. It's so fucked up.

Well, sexually assaulting her. It's really fucked up and Kira is taking it, not as badly as I would fucking take it. No one in this movie is like, oh god, that's awful. Right. They're just like, Kira, could you not be a bitch for like five minutes? Yeah, stop talking about those teeth marks on your face. You're such an ass. Kira, you always make it about you. Later in the mo- Oh my god, okay, never mind. We'll get there.

So they go to Sid's house to check on him for some reason. And he's got Vincent. Like Vincent's Fa tha thi tha tha tha tha. tha. thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to thi. to thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. toea. toea. He's got Vincent and Francis Culpeper there. I love Francis Cole Pepper. Me too. I thought she was grand. Yeah. She's also she was also on Buffy at some. Oh yeah. I thought she was the best actor in the film. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she also seemed to be the most like, one of my daug. Yeah, yeah. Is this how far I've fallen? I also really liked the, is he French? Is Vincent Coché French?

I think he's maybe, I think he's doing a Poyro. I think he might be Belgian. I just made that up on the spot. I have no idea. But he's also- He stings. He's also very impatient. He's like, we've been here for 10 hours and nothing has happened. And it's like, ghost guy? Maybe wait. Oh, but he doesn't have to, because all of a sudden there's child's burning footprints. I love that you can see the votives, though. You can see the little like tee light or votive candles on the floor.

I also like that they said they're child footprints and they're just like dinner plate size fire holes. Circles, you fucking assholes. Oh yeah, they look up who the, is this before or after they tell us whose graves they danced on. They have not figured that out yet. So this is where it comes out that they danced on graves in the cemetery. And Karen's like dancing, hanging out in a cemetery? That's like really weird.

Which it is absolutely not. Culpepper tells them about the Grave Dancer's Lament. That sounds like an album I'd fucks with. I think you're thinking of Soul Asylum, Grave Dancers, Union? That's not right, is it? Yeah, that's what you're thinking of, yeah. It's a good record.

Is it? It had one really good song on it. Was it somebody to shove? like, hmm, I don't want all these other ballads, what's going on, but... I don't mind a ballad some... Ah, fuck it, let's go, let's move on. We've done enough damage today. We don't need to take Dave Burndowner or whatever's name is. We're almost 40 minutes into this episode and we are barely into the movie, so... So they talk about the Grave Dancers Lament and somebody says, where the ga they're they Culpepper says, dangerous occult mediums are fairly commonplace and leave these kinds of things around. What are you talking about? Francis, who? Name names.

And then we find out that they are cursed in last one month and then they die. The curse, I love that the curse lasts moon to moon, and I was like, oh yeah, I know that fucking curse. It's called being a goddamn woman. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off there. I just am a little bit drunk and started yelling. It's fine. I just, but Francis Culpeper also goes,

and it's been three weeks! Oh my God, Francis. Oh, then they're like, we need to get some ideas who these people were so that we can fix this. No, you have no fucking idea how to fix it. So they go and like find out who the, they realize that they were in the undesirable section of the cemetery, which one, I don't think is a real thing. Is it? No. Criminal sections of cemeteries? If there is, they're usually not marked graves. It's not like, this is where Ricky, the axe murderer lives. I mean, like one of them was under a grave that said good riddens, but that tombstone was fucking enormous. That would cost thousands of dollars. And to have good riddens carved in that or etched in that font would be like a lot of

money. It was like six feet tall. It's the socially undesirable section of the cemetery. And it's got a fucking child in it. A child! It's the socially undesirable section of the cemetery. And it's got a fucking child in it. A child! A child. He was ill. The child is an arsonist. Dennis, little Dennis. There's the woman who was a wife killer and a man killer. Yeah.

And the good ridden's guy was a pervert. Yeah, an old, old boy. I think he had women in sex dungeons. I feel like they were going to- Which is lightly more than perverted, I just want to say, like I'm a pervert. Scoch, more than perverted. I felt like they were going for like an Albert Fish thing with him. Yeah, totally.

And then they were like, oh, let's back off from the child murder. Let's just make them a woman murder. Let's make it women, people that nobody cares about. This movie cares about zero people. No, it's true. It's you know what what, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're th, you're th, you're th, it's true. It's you know what, you're right though that it's equal opportunity terrible. So as if they've never watched an episode of Supernatural, which has gone on for 13 seasons, they decide that they have to dig up the bodies and just simply re-bury the bodies, but you got to get all of it. You've got to get all the body. They say it a hundred times, every single piece, every single piece, and it's like, oh, I'm sure that's not foreshadowing. How did no one go, Vincent, I fucking get it, shut up!

Vincent, off my back for like five god-dame minutes. But then you understand why, because he's been working with Francis Culpepper, who's a real, fucking instigator agent of chaos. Here's the thing about Francis Culpepper. Yeah. She's right to want these people dead. She wants to see what's going to happen. I don't blame her. They're terrible. Why are women fighting over that Broughtwurst? Maybe it's a good smell of jacket you got. I don't know. It smells like dick. Let me smell your dick.

What is happening? This movie. I like that you said, Oh, we got to do this movie. Yeah. It was just like it had been a long time since something was so bad we couldn't believe it, you know. I don't know. Did you listen to the weekend of Bernie's episode? Weekend of Burney's two. Two, the deuce, not the first. These are, these,

we're recording these on the same night, Alan, how could I have known? Do not break the illusion? They know! Every other episode I ended slurring. So they dig up the bodies, they reburied the bodies, they consecrate the ground. But yet, and yet, things are still happening. They consecrate the ground, but it's just the ghost hunter wearing like a a pristly vestment. He doesn't have any sort of like religious powers. Well he's Belgian. Okay that's legit. We don't know anything of like we know nothing about this man other than he drives a Hummer. Why do they drive a military grade vehicle?

And they're why do the university put them in this enormous beautiful mansion? Well they drive up to the house and Allison goes oh it's scary it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they's like they's like they. they's like they's like the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. it's just like. it's just like. it's just like. it's just like. it's just just just just just like it's just just just just just just just the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. they's they. they's they's they's just they's just the the Well, they drive up to the house and Allison goes, ooh, it's scary. And it's just a fucking house. This is a fucking, like, giant beautiful house that the university, whatever university it is, has put them in, and apparently they live there. And bury bodies in the yard.

Yeah, they're fine with burying bodies on campus. That doesn't sound right. You got, those aren't the first bodies buried on campus. Aye. Eigh. Is this where we get to Kira running upstairs and it's turned into a sex dungeon? I don't know. Does it matter?

When she heals, fuck you, you fucking bastard at some point. Oh, no, no, that's, I have a lot of notes before between then and now. Okay, okay. I have a lot of notes about the terrible taste and art that Karen and Browardst have. Because everything is just like abstract, but it's just like paint splatters like Jackson Malik. She's wearing a really terrible headband. There's a thing where he wakes up in bed and he thinks he's with her and he rolls over and it's like a thing, it's just like a woman thing, which

is so, so, so, so, so, so bad. It's like the worst Halloween haunted house ever. I have, my notes stop making sense and I just have things like spooky piano buddy What is that? What is it? Piano and I was like yeah you are fucking British. Piano. Okay so they all barricade themselves in the paranormal investigator's university house. Yeah. And at one point they look out the window and one of them says,

I can't recall seeing the fence from here. And it's like the Vincent dude! The guy who lives there! That seems odd. I can't recall seeing the fence from here. Cut to the fences wrapped around the house. And they... I'm crying.

Oh. Oh. Oh. And there was a creepy thing that happened when they were digging up the bodies where Kira got stuck in the good ridden's coffin and it was sinking. Yeah, that was cool. But then they just lunkheaded it up by the two men trying to drag it back out of the ground.. It, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, and it, it, it, it, and it, it, and it, it, and it, it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it was thi, and it, it, and it was their, and it was thririi, and it was their, and it was, and it was, and it, and it, and it, and it was their, and it was their, and it was their, and it was, and it was, and it was, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, and it, it, it, it, and it, and it, it, and it, and it the the their their thi. And it was thi. thi. thi. thi. th th th th th to th th toooooooo-a. their their tooomki. to. to-a. that was cool. But then they just lunk headed it up by the two men trying to drag it back out of the ground. It was silly. It's so dumb. It's like, I have a note that

just says, this shit ain't over because somebody says that. And then I just wrote, I so wish it were. So tensions, oh, so this is the last night when the sun rises, it will be moon to moon, and if the moon, and if the moon, and if the moon, and if the moon, and if the the the the the the the this is the last night when the sun rises it will be moon to moon and if they can live through the night they've beaten the curse. Which does not inform any of the decisions that they make from here on out. Mm-mm. But we do find out that Francis Culpepper stole the skulls because she wanted to see what would happen. I fucking respect and admire that.

Agent of chaos. First of all, these people don't deserve to live. Second, why is anybody going after Karen? She did not dance on a grave. Karen, go home. Yeah, she's seemingly getting fucked with more than anybody, except for Kira. Of course for Kira, who has a joke that's like, I got a new man in my life. And it's like, you're, this is so fucking insane. Also, did you see that soda machine that had cheer wine in it?

What is cheer wine? I'd never heard of that. It's like some southern soda. Are they southerners? I guess. Weird. I've only know about it being in the south. Che wine. Cheer wine. It sounds like something that I would drink and then be disappointed that I

wasn't cheeryer or drunk. It sounds like I'd be on the same shelf as Boons Farm. Oh I like Boons Farm when I need it, which hasn't been for many years. But I could I could foresee a situation in my future in which I would need Boons Farm over the age of like 25. Really? I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I to th. I to to th. I th. I th. I to th. I to th. I th. I th. I to th. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to say th. I to to to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I to to th. I to th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. the the the theeeeeeeeeeean theeeeeer theeeeer theean theeean thee the the the th feel like you're not legally allowed to drink Boone's farm over the age of like 25. Really? Can I drink Mad Dog? Can't anyone? I'm asking you? The one that looks and tastes like Windex. The blue one? Yeah, the blue the blue one. Yeah, it's blue raspberry. Raspberries aren't blue. If anyone tells you raspberries are blue, you do not believe them. Sometimes it's coconut flavored and you can't figure out why. Really? It's fascinating.

I like the strawberry, I think it's like strawberry kiwi. Oh, no, I'm nauseated. Because it just tastes like the vomit that's going to come later. Yep. But it's like, you know when you spray that vomit over the back of the toilet, you're going to be like, it's pink. I hate myself. But this is more fear. We have more fear of drinking mad dog. These people do have this curse. Yeah, because you don't want mad dog to come out your nose because it burns. Oh God. Oh, also Bernie. You just gave me a 25-year-old memory.

You're welcome. But yeah, okay, so this part of the movie is just basically like, it's like gross rapy meets like a spooky wax museum. When Kira goes up to there and finds the sex tension. It's like, it's gross rapy meets like a spooky wax museum built on top of a spirit Halloween store. It's just terrible. I kept waiting for them to blame Native Americans somehow. I figured that was going to come into this at some point.

It didn't. It's nice that they blamed criminal children instead. Somehow, I couldn't figure out how Kira became the murderous woman? The piano lady? I don't know. But she doesn't have lips. She got murdered. I don't know what happened to her lips.

Oh, okay. I don't know. She says, fuck you, you fucking bastard, and then calls him a bastard like two or three more times, is like super uncomfortable. I don't know. Fuck you fucking bastard is good though. Like she read that and was like, uh, that's gonna be a little bit tough on the tongue. And they were like, just relax, Kira. And she was like, my next note, a broad worst caring an unconscious woman.

So, people start dying. Yeah, Kira dies and then she appears on the piano playing a song. And they're like, Kira, hey Kira, Kira, turn around. Like, Kira doesn't strike me as an accomplished pianist. You know what I mean? That too goes, Kira, Kira, Kira, Kira. Kira, Kira doesn't strike me as an accomplished pianist. You know what I mean? That too goes, Kira? Kira? Kira.

Like, what is going on? And then he goes, Emma? Oh, yeah. And she's like, whoop? No one is like, Kira doesn't play the piano. Because you know Kira doesn't play the piano. He should have said, is that Chopin? Great! Great! If you haven't watched this movie and you're trying to understand it from this, God bless

you. God bless you. There are parts where like the bad monster people, like when Kira becomes a lipless murderer, are just like flung at the characters and the actors in this movie. Like it's just, it's literally just someone throwing a doll at them and they're like, ah! So, we get to this big scene, but it's a fight, like Vincent is dead, Culpeper's dead. I think, Sid hit on the head from the kid somehow or gets stuck with him or gets, oh he gets set on fire, that's what it is. My notes about the kid are, can I read

them to you? Yeah, please. Oh my fucking god, the kid looks so funny, I can't take it. And then, I really can't. And then he's wearing a tiny utility jump suit. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. thi thi thi thi thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi ti ti tod tod tod today today today today thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. And then he's wearing a tiny utility jumpsuit. Why? Their faces look like a little bit like Beetlejuice when they're trying to make their faces scary and they're like stretching them out. Yeah, they look like if you go to a Halloween store and they have those like zombie yard decorations that are expensive and like realistic looking, but they don't look realistic in a movie. No. Yeah. So Harris and... Don't call him Harris. Sorry. Forgive me. Broughty's Konseco. Beefey Boy is fighting with Kira when Allison drives the Hummer into the house?

You can't, that's university property. Kira is doing like an unfun version of the woman with the axe from the bowling alley movie? Do you remember the woman that became the bride-of-finding sign was having so much fun with it? She's just being absolutely no fun but doing that. And there's like a giant head following them around? Like first of all, you brought worse, you cannot punch a ghost ghost. I'm sorry but you can't.

Second, you can't hit a ghost with a car. I won't believe that. And third, I just don't think you can out drive a ghost face. It's just like it's just not like the ghost face just is not fast enough to keep up with their Hummer. Why? What is its top speed? It maxes out 25. It's like a model T ghost face. So Vincent shows back up with the skulls, spits in one of the skulls and throws them in the ground to bury them. Separate from the bodies, apparently that's meaningless. I just love that he spit in the skull.

Vincent, I have a note that says these bad movies always end in sepia. Because the color changes and I don't know why. So they have to dig beefy Mick Bratwurst back out of the ground because he got pulled into the ground by a giant ghost hand. We forgot to talk about the scene where Kira and Keren like make up and Kira's like no he loves you he wants to have babies with you and Karen's like really he wants to have babies with me he wants to have babies me and love the babies their th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. So th th the th the thea th the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th th the the the the the the thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea they're they're they're they're they they like, really? He wants to have babies with me? He wants to have babies with me? I love him.

And it's like, why the fuck would you have babies with this man? He would be a terrible father. You have zero chemistry with this human being. And he is definitely not going to like change a diaper, that dude. He can't even bend over. Have you seen him? He would just topple to the ground. That's so mean. You're mean, Alan. I know I'm a real beefy mc. Beefman. It was like he was started working out but just with his head and hadn't moved out of the rest of his body. I mean, listen, I'm nothing to write home about, but beefy and mc beef man. He's just built so strangely. And he's always like shot from a real weird angle too. He looks not, he looks fine in prison break commercials that I've seen. Oh really?

Yeah, handsome dude. He looks like, I mean he literally looks like an ape in this movie. He's shot like a hunker, like a hunched over lumbering creature. And he's an, I don't, I don't think any, I don't think he would be cast in movies if he looked like that. Maybe it's like its clothes or ill-fitting. I don't know what was going. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. It's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that was that was that was going that was going. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, it's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. It's that's that's the the the the the the caretaker whose face we never see. It just has a long straggly white wig on. He's been leaving the cards in the cemetery with the ghost dancing for ghosts thing on it. Just loves tricking people into grave dancing.

It's like a very are you afraid of the dark ending, you know? For sure. But it's also like, this movie, to the point where the ghost face starts chasing them, it's like, to that point, it's like, this is bad, but you understand what it's doing. And then all of a sudden, like, whose ghost face is that? Why is that happening? Like, what is happening? What is happening? Why do they do? Could they just not write an ending for it, do you think? Do you think they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were write an ending for it, do you think? Do you think they were setting it up for the sequel? Ah, is there a sequel? I don't know, either.

I hope not. Good lord, I hope not. It's a grave dancers too, Cuba nights. Isn't that dirty dancing too? There's a dirty dancing too? Oh yeah, it takes place in Cuba. Please don't. No, it's so bad.

You want to rate this movie? I have seen this three fucking times. You go first then. It's a two. It's so bad. It's so bad. It is exception. It's like, it's so bad. It doesn't make any sense. The characters have no motivations. They're terrible actors, even though apparently they're not. It's written by someone who had just seen their very first horror movie.

It's just, it's horrible. It was one of the, um, eight films to die for in 2006, which is one of the like it was like the after dark horror festival. Sure. This was the first year. Yeah. I've actually never really seen any of the other ones that were on that list. So never mind. Isn't, or no, that's something after midnight. I was going to say I think Lake Mungo was, it was one of those type of movies.

It was like a, yeah, but it might not have been that serious. Okay, yeah. Two is generous. You think so? Yeah, I'm going to give it a one. Weekend, Bernie's two was better than this movie. Oh, yeah. Like Bernie's two had a lot of fun moments, let's be honest. It did. I wish I hadn't hyped it so much, that's all.

I enjoyed that you did hype it so much. I fucked up. Because I felt like the drop was so good. Did you imagine me watching and just being like, oh no? I'm going to read this and you could tell me whether or not I need to cut this out. This is a mail bag. This is from Sam. Sam. Sam says, hey guys. This is an email that Sam sent us that subject line is a million thank yous. Hey guys, you both really you both really stepped up to the plate during this quarantine So much so that I've been making decisions within my career that you've been influencing. I thought you should know

I work in a reality in reality television and on a new pilot. I suggested Stephen Weber as a host because of this podcast. My supervisor had no idea who he was and I was like, it's Brian from Wings. My supervisor okayed it. And he hasn't returned on call yet. Update Coming. Why would you need to cut that? Thank you so much for all the laughs.

Why would you cut that? No, I want you to keep that in. Thank you, Sam. Sam. Sam. Good luck Stephen Weber. I love Stephen Weber. Sam, thank you. Oh my god, what if I got Stephen Weber a paycheck?

That's bleak as fuck. I feel like if you did, they need to have us on his guests at some point. I would love to meet Stephen Weber. Are you inviting me to Stephen Weber's house because I'm there? Are you inviting me to your house? Stephen Weber, you up? Shit. Just joking.

Katie, what are we doing next week? We can read another mail bag, which I think would explain what we're doing next week. Would you like me to read it? I would. This is a review we got on Apple podcasts from user J.W. Ford who says, Awesome Horror Movie Podcast. Five stars. Love the podcast.

Alan and Katie are great and have such wonderful chemistry. I look forward to listening to each and every episode. I would really love it if you would both cover a queer horror film for Pride Month in June. Hellbent or Knife Plus Heart, get my vote. Stay safe, exclamation point. Let's do knife plus heart. I love it. Yeah, we should, we've not done really any queer horror? Much at all, if any. Yeah, no. So sorry about thi, we, we, we's, we's, we's, we, we's, we, we's, we's, we, we, we, we's, we, we, we, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, th. th. th. th. th. to, to, to, th. to to th, th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the th about that. I'm sorry about neglecting that.

Hey guys, we're not perfect. Hey guys. Hey guys. No, that's gonna be really fun. I'm looking forward to it. And I think it's a it's on Amazon. Probably other streaming places. Knife plus heart. I've never seen it so I'm looking forward to uh... No. Getting in. Like a knife. I've had seen it, so I'm looking forward to getting in, like a knife. I've had too much to drink, I'm very sorry. I'm losing my trains of thought. Well, let's get out of here. All right. So don't forget to get involved in the donation matching and horse touching that we're putting out in the world. Yeah, again, if you need that address again, it's NLG.org, National Lawyerslioioliol-l-l-n, to to to to to to to to ing that we're putting out in the world. Yeah again if you need that address again it's NLG.org National Lawyers Guild just send us evidence of your donation we'll start adding them up we'll let you know how it's going and

hopefully we can put out a video. I look forward to shooting that video. No you need to be in the video we'll get Rob to do it. Poor Rob. in the video we'll get someone else to shoot it we'll get Rob to do it poor Rob I'm gonna touch a horse thanks for the signal another episode of Railroad ambulance bye bye Maybe acts in our dead pools, Savini's sightings at the pool. No way to do it Finland's cute, fulfilled reviews. Killing clouds and land the face. King Emily in outer space. Appearance a basketcase. Please make a kid in your grave.

E&T. A horror and comedy reviews hungry, Brian, from wings and Stephen Gang. E&T. We live deliciously bad temperatures obese, obviously come today. A paranormal act in today. A paranormal act of duties from Mr. Rogers to the EFT, EFT.