Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 3- Stitches (2012)

Episode Date: November 7, 2014

Wow, Stitches. In this episode we do less talking about the actual 2012 Irish horror-comedy film that we purported to discuss and more talking about clowns in horror, the current state of horror films, being a horror elitist vs. rolling around in movie garbage, over-the-top gore, the Milo & Otis effect, Annabelle, Marky Mark, teenagers, and puns. So did this movie have us in...stitches? You'll have to listen to find out! Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast.   

I think. Hi, and welcome to another episode of WhereWolf Ambulance. This is a horror movie podcast where we talk about a movie. I'm here with my friend Alan. Put a brick in your face. What do you gonna do with it? That might give you an indication, or it might not. This week's episode is about the movie Stitches, which I had planned to come in and issue an apology for because I picked it. Yeah, I thought it was gonna be way worse than it actually was. Yeah, I don't necessarily know that I have to issue an apology.

They have some stuff to apologize for. We can get into that. Well, here's where things kind of went downhill. Alan had said to me, he said, Katie, I fear new horror. It's out of my comfort zone. It's true. And so I said, great, I'll get on Netflix because they are putting out garbage faster than I can watch it. And I just want to roll around in that garbage. So, you know, scroll, scroll, scrolled. And I came to rest on a movie called Stitches. The cover art being a clown with one eye crossed out. And the description just said, after his accidental death stitches, the criminally clown is on the loose and hunting down, the young. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. the the the the the the th. the th. the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. I, I, I'm, the. to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I's, scroll, scroll. I's, scroll. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'll, I'm th. And, I'm th. And, toe. And, toe. And, toe. And, toe. And, toe. And, toe. And, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, I'm toe. And, is on the loose and hunting down the young party goers who causes untimely demise. And I thought, done and done, that is what we will watch. And it wasn't until later

when I actually watched the trailer, much later because I'm significantly lazier than Alan, that I realized it was actually a horror comedy. So not exactly what we expected. An Irish horror comedy, nonetheless. It didn't feel like a comedy. It just felt like a horror movie that happened. It was like as funny as a later Freddy movie. Yeah. Like it was, the emphasis was not on the comedy. No, it had funny moments. Yeah. And a lot of puns. It was very pun heavy. Yes. Is that an Irish thing? Uh, I think it's just a lazy writing thing. I see. Because the main actor, Russ Nolan? Noble. Nobel, Russ Noble, big fan.

Russ Noble. Is a comedian. He's a stand-up comedian, who, by all accounts, has worked significantly. He seems to be by his IMDB page, he seems to be pretty popular. Hmm. Whatever that means. He seems to by his IMDB page he seems to be pretty popular Whatever that means But it he was okay I guess I don't know well he didn't write this no No, that was um the director I think wrote it Connor McMahon he also edited it and wrote it edited it He also edited it and wrote it. He appeared quite frequently in the opening credits. It's true. This movie to me

seem very much like a Katie's blog sort of movie. Meaning bad. Well yeah, I mean you do truck in mostly terrible movies on that blog. It's a Netflix heavy blog. Right. I mean you have done the haunting and you did Halloween on there. Yeah, those were early picks. Some classics, yeah. Yeah, before you've delved into Wresle Maniac. Before I got my feet under me. And bong of the dead. Yeah.

So Stitches is about, I mean, I really just gave you the synopsis from the Netflix overview. Which is a little misleading. He's back from the dead. He's, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, is a little misleading. He's not criminally insane. He's back from the dead. He's that, yeah, he's undead. And he, uh, he's mad. These kids are shit. They murdered him.

Yeah, the premise of the film is that there's, this kid Tommy's having a birthday party. He's like 11 years old. Hires a clown, he's a bit of a fuck up. You first meet the clown when he's having the coyness with a young lady who's yelling, fuck me clown at him. And continually hitting his thing that goes, huh? Which is funny. See, that's the kind of comedy I can get behind. Not puns. He shows up late to the party. He's a shitty clown. Blah blah blah. He's driving his car and listening to instrumental new metal. Everyone's favorite new metal. And his car is a bit of foreshadowing because the

front headlight is Xed out on the on the left-hand side, which comes up later when when Stitches meets his untimely demise. And so Stitchitches is a shitty clown, the kids are mean to him, they tie his shoelaces together, he falls down and takes a knife right through his left eye. It's a sticking out of the dishwasher, like the open dishwasher. Which made me think very seriously about getting an IUD. These kids are dicks. Not about putting all your knives to point down in the dishwasher, but... Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Well, it's good to think about birth control. Yeah. Also, I have just

written down here, children getting hit in the head with things which I love. I'm not exactly sure what that was referring to. I have written down, it's funny, kids being dicks and swearing. Yeah, that's pretty much the, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. that's pretty much the open of the movie. So then we, we, what may or may not be a dream sequence of Tommy. So the clown dies with the knife in his eye. He actually gets stabbed in the eye twice when he stands back up, pulls the knife out of his eye, it it was kind of it was a pretty good scene. It was very bloody. I will the gore effects were mostly practical and really good in this movie. Yeah, yeah. And then so Tommy in this possible dream sequence goes to the graveyard where the clown is buried and sees some sort of a cult clown ritual going. Yeah, some sort of clown necromancy which is was actually awesome. It was like sort of all these different clowns like a hobo

Necromancer and like a What other kinds of clowns are there? I don't know. Yeah, they're just see like there might have been a mime there and I kind of covered the gambit, but they like the clowns look really cool like they kind of reminded me of the some of the clowns from some of the clowns from the Jodosk cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl out from from from from from from from from from from from the the the the the the the clowns the clowns the clowns of sklo-a sklo-a sklo-ofy skloa skloa the clowns of ofed of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of the clowns of the clowns of the clowns of the clowns of the clowns of the clowns of the clowns of the clowns of the clowns of the clowns of the clowns from the clowns from the clowns from the clowns from the clowns from the clowns from the clowns from the clowns from the clowns from the clowns from the clowns from the clowns from the clowns from the clowns from the clowns from the Jodorozky movie Santa Sangre, like just sort of, you know, they're a little twisted looking and, yeah. So they conduct some sort of clown occult ceremony and Tommy interrupts it some, I don't know, it got a little vague. It wasn't really explained, they were just all of a sudden he was in the room. Yeah. And they explained to him that a clown who dies without completing a party will,, we they, we they, we they, we they, we they, we they, we they they they they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were th, we th, th, thi, thi, thi, they were they were they were they were thi, thi, thi, they were they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just, they're just just just, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. They're th. They're th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, they're just just a thi, they're just a little thi. A cleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. They're just just of a sudden he was in the room. Yeah. And they explained to him that a clown who dies without completing a party will come back

from the dead and seek retribution or some such. I don't know. They had very thick accents. We should have watched it with subtitles. Yeah. And there was also an egg with a clown's face painted on it and somehow that's his life force, I guess.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. I was thi. I was thi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I was. It's. It's. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a theee. It's a th. I was. It's a th. I th. I was. I th. his life force I guess. Right, right, which comes back up. Everything comes back up later in this movie. Yeah, that's a nice thing about this movie is there are no loose ends. Everything they set

up, right? They later, they later tee off, so. Right, as you reference the check-off's gun gun in the first episode, it was just a series of checkoff gun cabinet here. Gun rack. So, fast forward six years and Tommy is having another birthday party and Tommy's a loser and his friends are all dildoes and everybody hates him and his girl is dating a jerk and for about an hour this movie becomes the British can't hardly wait or the Irish can't hardly wait I guess. Yeah. And they're just partying. Yeah, and that actually that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, thom's, th, thom's, th, th, th, th, thom's, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thom, thom, tho. It was, tho. It was, thoo. It was, thomomomomorrow, tho. It was thom. Yeah and they're just partying. Yeah and that actually that that part

those parts of the movie were actually pretty enjoyable. Yeah I was surprised by it. I was really there was no part where I was like this needs to pick up or this needs to end. But I was expecting that that to just drag for a while. They interspersed it with a really weird dream sequence of his best friend getting his dick ripped off. Yes. Like in an excruciatingly gory way. Yeah, this whole movie, all of the, this movie relies heavily on things being ripped off,

kicked off, scooped out, or otherwise removed, of which I have made a list, which we can go over later.the entire movie is excruciatingly gory, I would say. Yeah, far more than I expected it to be. Very gory. Especially because in the opening credits, it appears to have been made by, or at least funded in part by the Irish film board, which leads me to believe that there were federal dollars involved. Yeah, but it's not real. It's not real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real real. It's not the the that's not that's not the that's not the that's not the that's not the that's not that's not money. But it's like not real, it's monopoly money.

Oh, look, it's got a lepricon on it. It's not a real. That's my Irish accent. It gets a little Italian. All I have is Italy and Pittsburgh. That's all I can do. So, yeah, after we recover from the Dick Ripping Dream Sequence, which is the name of my new band, Checkersel.

Dick Rip Ripps Dick Ripping Dream Sequence. Tommy decides to have a party while his mom's away for the weekend for his birthday, inviting just a few friends over. In this palatial estate that he and his single mother live in. It was really a beautiful home. Yeah. And then his friend posts an invite on on my face. My face. Yeah. Which just sets up later, the joke. We saw your invite where you invited people to come on my face. Which I didn't get. I didn't get at first and Alan was like, huh come on my face. Which I didn't get. I didn't get it first and Alan was like, come on my face. And I was like, oh, oh, that was crazy Irish. Yeah, it was a, I mean,

there was a lot of lazy writing going on in this movie. Yeah. Maybe this movie was for teenagers. Oh yeah, it's definitely a not for me kind of film. Yeah, but I enjoyed it for the most part. Yeah. So yeah, Tommy throws th th th th th th th th th th th th th thome th comes th comes thi thu thu thu come thu come thu come thu come thu come thu c come thu come thu come thum thum, come thum, come thum, come thu come thum, come thum come thum come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come thum come thum, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, film. But I enjoyed it for the most part. Yeah. So yeah, Tommy throws this party. There's typical teen movie drinking, making out. Drugs. A brief nipple, sliple. This is the, yeah, I think this was the first appearance of a nipple here on Werewulf Ambulance.

It wasn't even a full nipple either. It was like a nip over over over over over over over over over over over over over over over over over over over over over over over was like a nipple over the top of a shirt. That's a true of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Um... And my nipple count, I have one. And then eventually somehow stitches comes up out of the grave, the night of the party. Somehow an invitation lands on his grave, a paper invitation, not on my face invitation, and it causes him to rise from the grave, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, the the, thi, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, a paper invitation, not a my face invitation. And it causes him to rise from the grave, which seems unlikely. Well. I'm just saying like in terms of rising from the grave, like all it takes is

like a paper invitation. He's like, oh, it's Tommy's 16th birthday bash. This just goes back, murders in Sue. He starts killing off all the kids that were at theth birthday bash. This just goes back, murders ensue. He starts killing off all the kids that were at the initial birthday party. Yes. Leaving everyone else alone? I don't think anything else that I don't. No, except for the cat. Things just got serious in this room.

Yeah. I was pretty bummed to this movie because it was making a lot of like really cheap fat jokes and just like, yeah, there was like a weird rape joke in there that really kind of bummed me out and then they went full Monty on it and and show the brutal beating to death of this cat. I mean it obviously wasn't a cat that was being beaten to death, but... Who knows they're Irish. They can they can they can they can they can't their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I their their. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm thi. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. too. t t t t t too. t t t t tthat was being beaten to death, but... Who knows, they're Irish, they can do anything. There's no law. It's like Miloinotis up in here. Killing animals just kind of bums me out in general, so...

Did it bum you out in fear starring Marky Marky Mark when they cut that dog's head off and put it through the dog's dark. Definitely didn't see that movie. forever in his chest? I mean, you know, but I figure if I can make it through cannibal Holocaust, I can probably, where they rip a tortoise apart on screen. I can make it through a stuffed cat being beaten to death. Yeah. Well anyway, well anyway. Oh boy, so on that note. But yeah, don't kill cats on screen. It bumps me out. Yeah, well it wasn't. I know it still. It makes me sad, Katie.

Okay. So, go on. Oh, so there was a lot of gore in this movie. Which I can deal with gore when it's sort of like disgusting over-the-top goar. I get weird about go when it it's like realistic gore. But the gore in this was so silly that it was like hard to be upset by. Oh sure. So I have a list here of things, body parts in this that were removed from a person's

body. Okay. One set of male genitalia. One ear, one arm, one head, face painted as clown, one scalp, one brain, one eyeball, and one length of intestines, and one length of intestines, blown up and twisted like a balloon animal. Yeah, he did make a dog out of the intestines. Yeah, that was pretty good. Yeah, I really like the head exploding scene. Yeah, I didn't include that because it uh, it didn't really my list making here. I like to keep it in the neat orderly list.

There's a kid who got his head exploded with a balloon pump. And it was sort of a nod to Big Trouble Little China too, which I liked. But it was definitely a... How so? Well, there's the scene of Big Trouble Little China where the one storm inflates himself and explodes and his eyes kind of do the same in the neat in the neat in the neat in the neat in the neat in the neat in the neat in the neat in the neat in the neat in the neat in the neat in the neat in the neat in to the neat in the neat in the neat in to to keep in to keep in to keep in to keep in to keep in to keep in to keep in to keep in to keep in to keep in to keep in to keep in to keep in to keep in to keep in to keep in to keep in to keep in to keep in to keep in to keep in to keep in to keep in the neat in the neat in the neat in the neat in the neat in the neat in the neat in the neat in the neat in the neat in the neat in the neat in the neat in the neat in the neat in the neat in the neat in the neat in the neat in the neat in the neat in the neat the neat the neat the neat the neat in the neat the neat the neat in the neat the neat the neat the neat the neat the neat the neat the neat the neat the neat the neat the neat there's the scene of big trouble little China or the one storm Inflates himself and explodes and his eyes kind of do the same bug out thing nice So there was yeah, there was the gore there was the cat killing I I thought I was gonna like the clown more than I did yeah, I think as far as clowns and horror go there have been much scarier. I think he talked too much too much. tho the the the th. Yeah, th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the that. the that. the the that. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho that. that. the the the the thou. tho. the thou. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that the the the the the the the the the the the the they they the the they the the the the the thou the thou the much scarier. I think he talked too much for his own good. Yeah, and it wasn't like, this movie when it was trying to be funny, it wasn't funny, but when it was trying to just be sort of like,

cute and it was fine. Yeah, it worked for that. I think it went, it did well when it had sort of like the Monty Python kind of humor worked for it but when he was talking it was not funny. No it really it was yeah I guess I had got my hopes up the the stand-up comedian would be funnier than he was. Yeah he wasn't. But I think as far as clowns in horror go he was sort of bottom of the list. Right yeah you you would said you would you were thinking a bit a th about a th about a th about a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit a th about a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. t. t of the list. Right. Yeah you said you would you were thinking a bit about clowns and horror. Yeah well I think you know Tim Curry

obviously is a god among men I know how you feel about it. As a movie. as a movie. you don't like it very much but no I like it I like it fine. When your voice gets high-pitched like that it means you're alive. I haven't seen it since it was on TV. Yeah. Well the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first. the first. the first. the first. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. that. It means you're alive. I haven't seen it since it's on TV. Yeah. Well, the first half is great. The second half is not so great. But Tim Curry is so good in it. Yeah. And I would, oh, no, it's creepy as shit. He'll hear no arguments to the contrary.

I can't look down a sewer dream. I know this is not a movie about clowns, but that scene from Peewee's Big Adventure. The evil clown bicycle dream sequence, like haunts me to this day because I saw it in like preschool. Because I was obsessed with Peewee's Playhouse, you know, and there's like a children's movie, but it really wasn't. I can still hear like the score in my head. Bada, bada, bada. Tim Burton, you son of a bitch. Like, what are you thinking? What else?

Well, there's killer clowns. Killer clowns. Which is, is actually, I think, probably a clown horror comedy done perfectly. And then there's clownhouse, which is, um, I don't know clownhouse. It's a, Victor Salva being a pedophile, pretty much. It's okay. The clowns in it are scary. They're scary as shit, but it's tainted a little bit by knowing that the director was molesting

one of the young actors on the set, yeah. Jesus. Yeah. So there's the guy that did powder. Yes, it is the guy who did powder after he got out of jail from molesting this kid and then the kid's family protested at the release of powder and Jeepers creepers. Oh I don't know if they protested at that too but he also did Jepers creepers. But yeah like everyone was like, oh you're out you make movies cool touch these babies. It's gross. Oh and this is our this is concludes this episode of Sad Talk.

Yeah it seems that the the sad clown movie really brought out a lot of a little sadness. Yeah. I thought that this is a comedy podcast get your laughs on. I thought there'd be more nods to juggloss but I don't know if juggles have made it to, to uh, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to they. they. they. they. they. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. their. their. their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. this. this. I. this. I. podcast. Get your laughs on. I thought there'd be more nods to Juggalos, but I don't know if Juggalos have made it to Ireland. Yeah, I wonder if they're just American phenomenon. I was a little worried about this film because it seemed to credit everyone that was in it at the beginning. Yeah, never a good sign. Yeah. The assumption that you're not going to watch it to the end. Yeah. Though I will say I don't think we had any trouble getting to the end. No, it flew by. No, it did not feel. It was an hour and 26 minutes long. It did not drag. And the killings came fast and they came, they came furiously. I will say that the hour and 26 may have made the film suffer a little bit,

because I feel like there's some sequences that got cut out. Do you feel you miss some plot? There was one point where one of his friends runs upstairs to look for the clown and comes back downstairs having seen something. But not discuss what he had seen. Yeah. And it just felt like a real had been dropped out of the movie or something. It was probably the clown. It was probably scary had been dropped out of the movie or something.

Well, it was probably the clown. It was probably scary. It's probably too scary. And then I was like, too many scares. Did I doze off? I don't think I dozed off. I am known to doze off during movies. Yeah, maybe you did. You did. You didn't. You were worried about having a lot of grand grand grand grand grampants in this so maybe you blocked it out. Yeah I surprisingly I didn't I mean I think that there it was mostly practical effects and that really won me

over. That's interesting because I had read a review of this I know I wasn't going to do any research beforehand but after I realized that it was not at all the movie that I had thought it was going to be I was like maybe I should like actually do some research into this and I read in a review that was like oh there's so much digital in this and it's garbage and I was like oh shit Alan's gonna be so mad at me but it really wasn't that bad if it was and I did they got it past me most of it looked real yeah it seemed fine to me I mean yeah when the kids head exploded you could the fireworks they were used to decorate it so so the the the the the the the the the the the smoke the smoke the smoke the smoke the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th thi the the the the th was th was th was th was th was th was th was th was th was th was th was th was th was th was th was th was th was th was th was th was th was th th th th th th th th th th th th th was th th was th was th was th was the the the the the the the the the the the the to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the head exploded, you could see the fireworks that were used to decorate it. Yeah, the smoke was still like in the background. So I'm, if they're going to that kind of detail, then kudos to them if they're doing

CGI for it. Yeah. Oh, I will say that I saw the movie Annabelle that's currently in a tha' the the the the the the the the the the thattermptermptermctermc, thate thate thate thate thate thate that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that So that's that's about a doll. It's about an hour and a half too long. It's terrible. But so I mean just say like you could do far worse than stitches. Yeah. Oh, what happened? No, I just just, just your admission that you could do far worse than stitches.

Yeah, I thought I really went into this thinking that it was going to be complete and utter useless garbage but it was... Well I think that's just because there is so much out there that is complete and utter useless garbage but you just have to embrace the complete. I'm realizing that you were you were a connoisseur of the Netflix horror movie. So much of the I don't know so much of it is such is is is is so much it is so much it is so much it is so much it is so much it is so much it is so much it is so much it is so much it is so much it is so much it is so much it is so th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thus. thus. thus. thus. thi. thus. thus. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th. th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. that the. that that that that the. that the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. it is such fun, useless garbage though. It doesn't all have to mean something. Right. Yeah. And I think I do have a bit of a snobbery towards films that have go, oh, piss off. That have come off in the past 10 years.

Not you. There's so many bad harm. Yeah, but you have to just like watch, you just have to roll around in to roll, you. in them you just have to be like this is bad I love it I love it and Netflix is like I pay that money so I can roll around in them like they're so bad and they're all like 80 minutes too it's like watching it's literally like none of your day right right whereas I'm just watching everything from the 70s that's on Netflix you've seen it though you've seen it not all of it

sometimes someday you're gonna have this whole mass of like the like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I'm like th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I'm th. I'm they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they's they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their th. I th. I thi. I'm just just thi. I'm just thi. I'm just the. I'm just thi. I thi thi. I'm just they're they're they're they're they're've seen it though. You've seen it. Not all of it. Sometimes, someday you're going to have seen it all and then you're going to have this whole mass of like, I don't know. No, but it is good. It's reaffirming to me on some level that there's still good shitty horror movies being made. Are you just saying that Stitch it gave me hope that people at least care enough. A movie where a man, a teacher wearing clown makeup ripped a man's dick off, just gave you hope for the future. Well, I felt like this, whoever made this film, the Connor McMahon, who made this film, like at least enjoys the horror genre, whereas like when I watched that movie Annabelle to pick on that movie again. And that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's that's like, that's like, thiou thiou thiou thiou-a, thi enough thi enough thi enough thi enough thi enough thi enough thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, thi, thi, thi, at least enjoys the horror genre. Whereas like when I watched that movie Annabelle,

to pick on that movie again. And that's like a spin-off of The Conjuring, right? I didn't see that, but I heard that was like a whole lot of nothing pretty much, yeah. But I went because a friend of mine wanted to go, and it was hopeful. I thought maybe it would be good, but it was like'll be fine. Okay. But what is the doll? But what is the doll? But what is the doll? That's for a different podcast?

Oh, okay. It would take it. It's just it's a doll possessed by a demon or some such nonsense. There's an X-files episode. Do you remember the the the the the the thoe. I I I I I I I I I I the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thiiole. I'll th. I'll thiole. I'll thioll, I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll thi. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll tho. I'll tho. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll just just just just th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll just just just th. I'll th. I'll just just th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I about that. I bet the X-Files episode is better. Do you remember the TV show from the 90s called Friday the 13th? No. It was this Canadian TV show where they, like every episode they went and had to track down some possessed Nickknack or it was an antique shop. It was, it was fun. It was actually fun. You're thinking of the dark? I am not. That was also a Canadian-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-fi-a-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-o-o-fi-fi-fi-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-n. the the the the TV. the TV. the TV. the TV. the TV. the TV. the TV. the TV. the TV. the TV. It's-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-n. It's-nc. It's-nc. It's-nc. th-nc. th-nc. th-s. th-s. th-s. tri-s. tri-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s. th-nc. the-nc. was actually fun. I think you are you afraid of the dark? I am not. That was also a Canadian TV show of the 90s. Yeah, but I mean it was Friday the 13th. I don't know why it was called Friday the 13th. Yeah, it seems like a copyright issue. I don't think there's copyright laws in Canada. Is that why everything that? Yeah, what are you talking about? lawlessness in Canada, free health care and no copyrights. It's true. You can go up there and be like, I wrote stairway to happen. It goes like this.

Yeah, um. What are we talking about right now? Well I was just trying to get around too. Like it is, it does give me some hope because people are at least trying to make fun to the movies. I think there's a lot of that out there. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I just. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to just just just just just. to. to. to. to. thi. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It's. It's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. are at least trying to make fun done horror movies. I think there's a lot of that out there. I think you just need to just get in there. I feel like I just see so many, and I don't know why this movie is making me talk about the current state of horror cinema. Well, that was the plan. That's what we can of the genre. Like they've seen a Fulchee movie and been like, oh, that's a bad movie. And it's like, yeah, but he was setting out

to make a good movie. So when you set out to make a bad movie, you're missing the point and you're just making a fucking bad movie. Like, you did, if your tongue's tongue in my humble opinion. I understand. So I get I get let down a lot of the stuff that comes out these days. Oh buddy. It's all right I'm old. It doesn't matter. What I'm out of the 18 to 35 year old demographic so it doesn't matter anymore. Yeah and I'm just rolling in garbage so who cares what I think? No, nobody nobody wants my money. And I don't spend money on anything because I'm stealing all of it so. Oh well you're paying the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that. I th. I'm th. I'm thi thi thi. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's th. I's th. I's th. I'm thi. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm to to thi. I'm to to to t. I'm toooooooo. I'm t. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th't spend money on anything because I'm stealing all of it.

Oh, well, you're paying Netflix. I am paying Netflix. All right, so on the numeric scale, what does Katie give to stitches? You know what, I got to say, I loved this. Like, I really did. I thought it was fun. I would recommend it and I would watch it again. I thought it was very watchable. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. toe. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. t. t. t. th. th. very watchable. I thought it was very entertaining. I recognize that some of the jokes felt entirely flat.

Right. But I have to wonder if some of that is just, I don't know, I watch a lot of, throwns, this is also just my Netflix, like not leaving my house and only watching Netflix all the time. I watch a lot of British TV and it seems like there are maybe just 10 years behind us on both fashion and jokes a lot of the time. So I kind of wonder if maybe some of that is just like those jokes aren't funny. Maybe they would, I don't know, like. I'm not, I'm not articulating this very clearly, but it seems like, it just seems cheesy to us. America's just the best, USA number one. Check out my fucking Bald Eagle tattoo. fucking bald eagles had to. Jesus Christ. Is that not, are we not doing that right now? We're not doing the patriotism, not today?

No, 9-11, never, not, okay. I'll save that for another podcast. No, I really did enjoy this and I thought that I would definitely recommend it for like a fun evening watch, uh, seven. Oh, nice. This is the best movie we've so far. It is Stitches. I'm going there. So sad. Is that so sad? Is that so sad?

I think so? This is the most watchable thing we've put out we've done. For Katie's. We have had fewer criticisms of this than of the other movies. But we've also talked less about this movie, tho, tho, th, th, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, so so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, tho, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. So, thi. So, too, is so, is too, is so, is so, so, so, is soo, is soo, so, soo, soo, soo, this movie and talked more about the state of horror and clowns than we did about the other movies. Well this I think had less of a plot too. There was, I mean the other movies we spent time describing, oh they went here and they went there. This was, they had this party and then they had that party and they took.

It was just a kill collection, yeah, which is really really what, which, which, which is really, which is really, which is really, which is really, which is really, which is really, which is really, which is really, which is really, which is really, which is really, which is really, which is really, which is really, which is really, which is really, which is really, which is really, which is, which is, which is, which is, which is, which is, which is, which, which is, which is, which is, which is, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, Yeah, no. I would not. Yeah, this again falls into the I wouldn't dissuade someone from watching this. But you wouldn't recommend it. Probably not. No. Of these three movies that we've seen so far, though, you'd recommend you know that I have to go with that warning. Oh, God, Alan. It was so good. You're picking the boring Pappat movie. Oh, I would recommend you watch this movie about railroads. Have you been to the Model Railroad Museum? It's fascinated. I don't remember an insane vet Martin Landau at any point in this film. I'm just shaking my head.

No, you're entitled to your opinion. It doesn't mean it's right. I have certain things that I enjoy and... And just slow burns are one of them. Yeah, I mean, you know, you can listen to that episode and see why I thought it was so sweet. No, Stitches wasn't that. Like I said, I expected, and maybe that's the pessimistic optimist going in there just like, it's gonna be garbage.

Oh, it's not garbage, cool. Yeah, you know, it had its moments of, I definitely laughed out loud a few times. I saw you lull. Yeah, there were some good stuff that happened and like I was a gape at a couple things, like the dick getting ripped off is still, it's not upsetting. You you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you the dick. You the dick. You the dick. the dick. the dick. the dick. the dick. the dick. the dick. the dick. the dick. the dick, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. It's th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It, it, it, it had, it had, it, it, it had, it had, it had, it had, it had, it had, it had th. It was th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's not that, it had thi. It's not thi. It's not thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It had thi. It had thi. It had thi. It had thi. It had You were upset. It was real gross. Yeah. It went on for a really long time too. The kid like jumped up and down trying to grab the dick out of the guy's hand. Yeah. And then the clown. I think he said give me my dick back. Yeah. Yeah. And the clown kissed it at one point to him. I looked away. I looked away. He either put it to his nose or he kissed it. It went somewhere near his face. It was very weird. It was a very, yeah.

Well, I was actually surprised because I thought they were going to like, they seemed to be setting a bunch of stuff up for cheap gay jokes. Yeah, which did go down that rock. They really didn't. They treated the gay. They were, the single. They were, the single. They were, the single. They were, the single. They were, the single, the single, the single, the single, the single, the single, the single, the single, the single, the single, the single, the single, the single, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, was, was a the, was a their. I was a their. I was. I was a the, the, the, the, the, the, the, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho. I was. I was. I was a the the the the the the the the the the the the wanted to be friends with as I said. Right. Because he kept saying the people were idiots and everything gave him the shits which is pretty much how I talk. It might have been the four cans of strawberries that he ate the game of the shit. I'm sorry I keep interrupting you're trying to give this a numeric rating with my own opinions. Oh yeah I mean I'm thine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine is mine is just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just just just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just th. I'm just just just just th. I'm just just just just. I'm just just just just. I'm just just just just. I'm just just just just just just just just just just. I'm just just just just. I'm just just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just just just. I'm just. I'm just just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. probably give it a five. I'm going to put it above Warlock. It's your, what did you give Warlock?

Four and a half. Oh, did you? So this is your, this is your 50 yard line stitches. Yeah, I mean it wasn't bad. That's a sports metaphor. I feel like I had to put one in there. 50 yard line. What? That's good. Thanks. You really, uh...

No, I got it. You really move the chain on that one. Yeah, well, sometimes when the field goal. You made the light go off behind me. Hockey. Oh, I don't know a hockey. Is this another Canada thing? That's a Canada joke you can copyright. Oh, oh. That's a Canada joke you can copyright. Oh.

I think maybe I also didn't like the movie as much because I didn't have as much talk about behind the scenes with the crew as I do any other movies. Oh that's true you have nothing to say about the director. Nobody does a score for this movie. You can't make fun of me for Dean Kundy. No. I didn't make fun of me for Dean Kundi. No. I didn't make fun of you for Dean Kundi. All I said was, Dean Kundi?

You did get very upset when you said, I don't know anything that this guy is directed. I'm really having a hard time going to grips with the fact that I'm is an eye-opening experience for you. It's also an eye-opening experience for me to realize that I'm just, I'm talking incessantly and I have nothing to say. I think you're doing great. All right, so I think that is pretty much all I have to say about, uh, it's called Stitches. What's it gonna do with it? I would recommend not listening to the white rapper because that guy looks like a fucking turd.

If you liked this episode, you should like us on Facebook. It's Facebook.com back slash wherewulf ambulance ambulance. Recommend us some movies. Give us some feedback. We are really open to it. You can review us on iTunes we would really like that because then it helps people find us on iTunes. You can also find us at where will fambulance.com that's a thing that we own. We're on Tumblr but I don't even it's like just floats in space as far as I know. So stitches if you're bored and you're on Netflix, you can do a lot worse than this movie?

A lot worse. I've done a lot worse. Don't watch Juggface. Don't watch Blackenstein. Whoa. All right. Thanks for listening. Yeah, thanks. you the