Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 313- The Fate of the Furious (2017)

Episode Date: December 28, 2020

This episode marks our last one of this terrible, horrible, no good, very bad year. Rather than suffering through our semi-traditional New Years romcom, we decided to end the year by covering a movie that would bring us pure joy. We hope it makes you feel the same way, and that you'll forgive us for this brief foray out of horror and into TWO AND A HALF HOURS OF SOLID ACTION, BAY-BEE! We're talking about the 2017 8th installment of one of America's most beloved film franchises-- we're talking about "The Fate of the Furious." Special topics include: family! respect! cars! butts! and... babies?! If you're deeply itching for a romcom, may we suggest Episode 209- "Love Actually," Episode 261- "You've Got Mail," or the time we lost our minds in a lockdown and devoted nearly 2.5 hours to discussing "Titanic," which is chronicled in Bonus Episodes #3 & 4?  Find us online: Support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance and get bonus episodes about action movies Buy merch for yourself or those you love at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance on Twitter @werebulance on Instagram @werewolfambulance. [e-mail] If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. Someday we're gonna be #1 in Finland. Some sweet day. Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down. Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast.     

One might say, Alan, that picking up a film franchise with its eighth edition might say, Alan, that picking up a film franchise with its eighth edition might not be the way to get into it. Mm-hmm. But to them, I say, it'll be fine. Especially when it's a franchise that spends, I don't know, three-quarters of the movie telling you what happened earlier in films. But really what you're here for is what is advertised right at the beginning of the film, prolonged sequences of violence and destruction.

Thank you, baby Jesus. This is amazing. Do you want to see a movie that literally has every actor you've ever seen in a movie? What is it? It's called The Fate of the Furious? They were so desperate to screform this shit that they is it? It's called the fate of the furious. They were so desperate to screform this shit that they made it fate of the furious F digit eight. As a person who occasionally spelled her name K digit eight in high school that they're like they get so desperate that they get like a dumb Delouise like character for the fat and the furious. It's just like how are they going to fit in 12 the fit 12?

The furious fateful. The furious fateful. It's amazing. So this is the eighth movie in the Fast and the Fir. It's amazing. So this is the eighth movie in the Fast and the Furious series. Alan, have you seen any others? I saw six? Which one is that? Is it just one of the big action ones? Yeah, at one point, Vin Diesel jumps out of a car over a ravine and catches Michelle Rodriguez in midair. That's cool though. Yeah. I don't remember like it's just it's

much like this movie it's like Rum Frum's go fast boom! Boom! Cars and butts the series. And people kissing Vin Diesel for some inexplicable reason. I have a lot of things to think about that. When this movie opens and the opening credits come up and it starts listing actor's names, I was like, wait, Jason Statham is in this? Wait, Ludacris and Tyrese are still in this? And then I just saw Charlize Theron and just drop to the floor. What is happening in this movie?

I'm so excited that she was in this movie. So this opens in Havana, where it's just long shots of cars and butts, cars and butts. Mm-mm, mm-mm. And then I started to wonder, like, what if these people ever just get sick of cars? Like what if they ever just want to do something else? Well, that's why there's buts. Oh, right. That's, you know what, that's a good diversification, you're right.

This, also, my first note is this movie, no fatties. There's not a single chubby person anywhere in this movie. This movie is lacking a lot of things. That's just one of them. Rams in so much other stuff. So much other stupid stuff. Oh my god. So, Vin Diesel is here on his honeymoon with Michelle Rodriguez.

Their names are Dominic and Lettie. Dominic Toretto. Turretto! Toretto! Dumb! Dumb! I have to say one, I'm going to say a nice thing about Van Diesel. Yeah. He's letting himself age

Sure. He's not carry all wazing this shit I feel like he could just keep getting more and more rugged and it's a hundred percent okay. Yeah, because he's just gonna get like lumpier and like cragier. Yeah, that's the word. Craggier. And he deserves to keep talking like this about everything. I mean I don't get what Dominic's motivations are. I mean I get the one obvious one but. But cars or butts are babies like it's like cars buts babies and one of these things is not like the others. Oh my god I can't wait to get to the baby part. That fucking baby. Okay, there's like a problem with some kid, I don't know, and he owes this

guy his car? I don't know. It doesn't matter. Like Dominic's cousin has gotten in deep with some like dude who lent him money and the guy's like, I'm gonna take your car No, we'll race for it. They have to race for it So it's it's Dominic driving this like shit car Yeah, but he made it magical He does he makes it magical and this other guy driving his car and the cousin says Dom his car is the fastest one on the island which is such a funny line that somebody wrote down I think this is the point of work? I th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, so it. So, so it, thi, tho, so it's tho, so it's tho, so it, so it, so it, so it, so it, so it, so it, so it, so it. So, so it. So, so it. So, so it. So, so it. So, so it, so it. So, so it, so it, th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thithe island, which is such a funny line that somebody wrote down. I think this is the point of where Missy yelled at the movie, you're not driving chititit bang bang.

He says they're going to do the Cuban mile, which means nothing to anyone except that it has like ham and pickles on it. I think the only, it's in Cuba. Yeah, it's a mile, it's a full mile in Cuba. So they do this like engines and shit scene where they're like ripping the doors off the car and like putting like pop can tabs on the wires which I okay makes your car go faster you put this thing on the vacuum you can't do that it's too crazy it's just crazy enough or whatever the fuck they said so get out a Miss Havana here to do the starting line would you like to see her thong?

You're welcome. Happy Cuba. And they start racing. Which is a terrible thing to do? What if a child is crossing the street? Just got to watch out, man. It's a Cuban mind. The child or the car?

Yeah. Well, I do like that they have like these motorcycle people that get up to intersections, Michelle Rodriguez is one of them who go to intersections and just like stop traffic. Like why? First of all, that's a practiced skill, you know? No, no. Many times since she had to block off various intersections so that her dumb dumb husband can destroy the car that he is racing for. Well, in like the canon of these films, they all started off as street racers who have now become secret super agent spies.

I know, I saw the first one. Oh, did you? Yeah, I've seen the first one and Tokyo Drift, which I think is not part of the main storyline. No, it's like it's somehow outside, it was because the guy from the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the canon. I the canon canon. I the the the canon. I can't the canon. I'm the canon. I'm the canon. I'm the canon. I'm the canon. I'm canon. I'm canon. I can't, the canon canon, the canon, the canon, I the canon, I the canon, I the canon, I the canon, I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the the the th. th. the the thea. the the the the the the the the the the the one and Tokyo Drift, which I think is not part of the main storyline. No, it's like, it's somehow outside. It was because the guy from Tokyo Drift was supposed to be in this movie but couldn't do it for some reason. Oh, okay. Yeah, I don't know. It's not.

It really, it t go off on different paths and you're like, well, where are they going to come back together? Well, where they're going to come back together is running over an outdoor cafe that's full of diners. Uh-huh. It's monstrous. And Vin Diesel's engine at this point is turning on fire red. Yeah, this is the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first their their their their their thiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. they're they're thi. they're going they're going they're going they're going they're going they're going they're going they're going they're going they're going they're going they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're going. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. they're going going going going going they're going going they're going they're going they're a thing in the car go faster. It happens a lot of times in this movie. What's that a little nitro boost? He's giving it a nitro boost. Is that what it is? I thought he was going to do whip-its. He's making the car. The car starts going faster and all it can hear is, oh, wobbub-bub-bub-bub. The only time I really ever did whippets, I crawled under my desk because I thought my computer tower was making that sound. Nope, it was your brain. Yep, it was the first, also the same room where I first saw the first fest in the Furious movie.

Oh, the circle of life. My brain is still fucking dead. So he, he has to go in reverse because the fire is like blowing into his face. Nobody ever gets burned by all the fires in this home, which is very lucky. So he goes backwards and then like wrecks the car into a wall and jumps out and it goes over the sea wall into the ocean. Like that's not fucking pollution? After he's won the race though. Yeah.

And the dude who he beat just like looks over and was like, he did it. You've earned my respect. No, he says the line he says, you won my car and you earned my respect. Another fucking line that somebody wrote down. It's so joyful. And Dominic Toretto says to him, keep your car, my respect. Another fucking line that somebody wrote down. It's so joyful. And Dominic Toretto says to him, keep your car. Your respect is good enough for me. I'm sure he turned to the director and said, am I supposed to mention family here?

Should I be talking about family. Now nobody gets the car. But they're all just like so happy. They all walk away from the scene like a happy, the cousin has a cool new car. Yeah, he gives the cousin his super sported car. Yeah, and the other guy's just like cool because he like got this respect, I'm not sure about the respect thing. It's, this movie could also be called Toxic Masculadia Movie. I think that was last week, so. Yes. Yes.

This really goes from one action sequence to the next, but the next one is sexy times, which I didn't need to watch. Oh, you know, I have the note, now they fucking. And she says, I want to make a baby. She's like, I wonder what kind of dad you'd be and I thought well pretty old one. Also I wonder what kind of dad you be to be to start let's have a kid. You might be shitty you might be shitty. Let's roll the dice. I heard that it makes you a better person let's do this.

Oh boy. I'm a little brother. So, cut to him being a good Samaritan helping the pretty lady on the street with a broken down car. Who is? Charlie's Theron. Your girl and mine, Charlie's Theron, with the worst wig I've ever seen. It looks like it's pulling her head backwards. It's like pulling her head back towards her neck. This is not, this is not my

Charlise Theeron. I don't feel like she's giving me a full Charlie's Theeron in this movie. No, it's weird because she's meant to be a super villainy things. She doesn't have a particularly like super villainy countenance, you know. No, I feel like she's supposed to be dead inside on some level, like not care about humanities. She's such a computer person. Yeah, it doesn't come across though. When everybody else is like, oh, woo-oh, all the time. Yeah, you can't have subtlety in a movie where like ludicrous and Tyrese are just turned up to 13 at all times. We haven't even gotten to Dwayne the Rock Johnson. Dway the Rock Johnson? You know, I want to say though, so Charlie's Theron basically is like

Dominic you know now you have to work for me because I know because of this thing on my cell phone. I'm blackmailing you with whatever this is I'm not going to to to to to the to the to to the to the to the same. I'm the same. I'm the same. I'm the the the the th. I'm not. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm black. I'm black. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm the the th. I'm th. I'm the th. I'm th. I'm th. the th. th. th. th. th. I'm th. the the th. the th. I'm the the the the the the the the the theeean. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm blackmailing you with whatever this is I'm not going to show the audience. Yeah, and the word is expected to care. Well, you know what movie? I did. I was concerned. And he's like, whoa, I gotta do it. This is where I have the note that says, you know, this movie really gets into it. It's just like, we're 10 minutes into betray your wife, you're going to betray your friends, you're going to betray your family, and you're going to do it all for me.

And he's like, oh dude I am. Right, well let's go, we're in it. Cut to Dwayne, the Rock Johnson coaching team. My soccer coach when I was at age was named Mr. Kling and Smith and he was like five foot one and never let me play. It was not nearly as cool as the rock. He didn't make you do a hocca before the match started. No, although I have to say that I feel like children would not be particularly intimidated by that. They'd be like, what? I did like the one girl running away going, I don't want to do this anymore. Though I guess Dwayne the Rock Johnson is a cop, right? Or was a cop?

Yeah. It's like this is what we're missing from having not seen the first seven films. He's a former diplomatic secret service agent who is now allied with Dom and his team following their outings in Rio de Janeiro in Europe. Okay, because I think they they they they they they they they they they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. to to to the. the. to the. the. the. the. the. I guess. I guess in Europe. Okay, because I think they were enemies in some of the movies. Yeah, he was chasing them at some point. Okay, I think I, yeah, I think that's true. And once you've earned someone's respect, though, you know, family. their family.

I do not love my real family. thee, their friends that they call family. Sorry, dudes. I do appreciate that because I do, I have always thought like, you can't pick your family, but you can pick the people who become your family. Certainly. Yeah, but I don't constantly tell you that you're my family. No. And that we're family and family is the most important family that's every family. You don't you you th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the thate the that that the people the the the the the the the the the the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they you that you're my family. No. And that we're family and family is the most important family that's every family.

You don't turn your back on family. But that's literally what happens in every one of these movies. I think it's all basically double crossing, right? Yeah, yeah. Then it's like for a good reason. All right. I did like the scene with Dwayne the Rock Johnson and the like cop secret service fed guy that comes up to him was like, Duane the Rock Johnson, we need you to do this thing.

He's like, no, I gotta coach my daughter's soccer team right now. I'm gonna do this later. I did too. He's just so godda. There's two minutes. Just wait. He's so goddamn. they, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to, to, thi, to, to, th. to, to, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to too. too. too. too. toeea. too. toea. too. toea. the. the. thi easy to watch. Yeah. Yeah. He seems to be enjoying what he's doing as much as I'm enjoying watching him do what he's doing. I think he is. I think he's a man

full of joy. Can I tell you who else I love in this movie? Yes. Ludicrous. They give him nothing to do nothing to say and I'm still like, I'm glad you're here, friend. Remember last week when you were talking about, Imogene Poots being six years or junior? And being able to play a college student? Ludacris is three years younger than I am. Wow, he looks like a fucking teenager. Yeah. He is currently 43 years old. So he would have been 40 when this movie came out.

Good for you, Luda. God damn it, Ludacris. Yeah. I was actually probably listening to Ludacriss. That time I did Whippets and crawl under my desk if I'm being honest with you. Yeah, why wouldn't you be? Yeah. You probably had giant feet and we're moshing around on things just like it was like word of mouth was just out, you know, it's a great record Anyway, there's a huge wrecking well and it takes out like a million cars Oh, that's right because they're like you gotta do this job They're like, all right, let's do this job Cut to doing the job. I was like, do, like, let's go to Berlin, Berlin! I do have the note right here that I'm like, I enjoy that these films are so deep in their own lore that they have a shorthand for stuff.

Yeah. Theoretically, you have followed them through nine movies now, because Hobbs and Shaw happens, after this movie, I guess, which is the Rock and Jason Statham's themememememememememememememememememememem's them's them's them's them's them's them's tham's tham's, B, B, B, B, B, B, B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B.bs and Shaw happens after this movie I guess, which is the Rock and Jason Statham's like solo movie outside of the franchise. I didn't know that that's what that meant. I didn't know that those were those characters. Yeah. I would watch Jason Statham do probably anything. I tried to watch that movie and it was fucking unwatchable. Really they're both so great. I know, yeah, and I love. And I they. I th. I they. I would they. I would their their. I would their. I would their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would watch Jason. I would watch Jason. I'd their. I'd their. I'd their. I'd their. I'd their. I'd their. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd the the the the th. th. th. th. the the th. the th. the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the theried to watch that movie and it was fucking unwatchable. Really? They're both so great. I know, yeah, and I love, maybe I just listen to the mood. I don't like Jason Statham pluck his shoulder hairs. I'm sorry I didn't mean to cut you off there to talk about Jason Statham's shoulder hairs. I appreciate your love of him because I also enjoy him. We have to do crank at some point because it's so fucking. the the to the to to thi to th. I to th. I to to th. I th. I to to th. I to th. I th. I to th. I to th. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the their to to to to me th. I just just just just like, maybe maybe maybe maybe I just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I to to to to to to to to to to th. I'm. I'm like like like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to to to to to to to to We'll do that on the Patreon for sure. Although if someone is now going to chop this up and just having me say we got to do crank at some point it sounds like we're going to do drugs. So great. Good if you don't crack it's so good.

Interplaced with me talking about doing whip-its it's gonna be great. So they do this job and they get the thing that they're supposed they're, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they, they, they, they, they, th. thi, they, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to, to, they, they, they, their, thrown, thi, thi, to to to to to to thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to to to to to to to to to to thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, to to-s, to-s, to-s, to-s, to-s, to-s, to-s, to-s, thr-. So they do this job and they get the thing that they're supposed to, is it, they're getting the EMP thing, right? Right, which they need to get because if it falls into the wrong hands it could like wipe out a city. But also if they fuck this up, they're going to jail, because they're off the grid. They're outside of the spectrum. They're not the thrown. thoing. thoing. thoing. thiiiiii. tho. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. they're out out out out out out out out out out. they're out. They're out out. they're out. They're out. They're out. They're out. They're out. They're out. They're out. They're out. They're out. They're out. They're out. They're out. They're out. They're out. They're out. They're out. they're out. they're out. they're out. they're out. they're out. they're out. they're out. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. tho. tho. they're they're they're rogue they're doing their thing but they're working for the government at the same time right but the government's not gonna protect them in any way not at all but they're gonna do it anyway because like not the goodness of their hearts I don't think I think I have an answer for this one oh is a cars family family family family family family family family family thamam to the the the the the the the the the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're to to to to to to to ttttte to to to te tha tha they're they're they're they're they're they're they're rogue here and steals the MP after making, doing the Rock Johnson wreck. Yeah, it's his heel turn. And they're like, Dominic Toreto just went rogue.

And then at some point I wrote down, I'm going rogue on some toastitos. I don't recall writing that. How were they? Oh, great. Have you ever had a bad toastito? Not th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho. No. No. No. No. No. No. How were they? Oh great. Ever had a bad toastito? Not that I can think of. Oh, salty. Eat them a little salsa or just freeballing that shit? Ah, well I had like two spoonfuls of salsa left, so I like tried to ration it and then when I, of course,

immediately ate it all, I just started freeballing. Yeah. I like to call it raw dog. Raw dog and his chips. Raw dog and chips. Not dipping them in anything. And I should say that I also really enjoyed the wrecking ball smashing all the German police cars. I mean, that's like the third silliest scene in this movie. So far, yeah. They just like are so willing to risk themselves in cars. And murder other people. Oh my god, they kill. They they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they themselves in cars. And murder other people. Oh my god they kill, they take so many human lives. Yeah. I don't think I was expecting

that. I thought they were just like maybe doing shenanigans. I didn't think they were mass murderers. Well I should I should inform you of something right now. Yeah. I think you have pretty much watched a superhero movie after seeing this movie. Is that true? These people they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're th. I th. I th. I thi. I ty. I took. took. took. took. took. took. took. took. took. they're they're they're they're they're they're after seeing this movie. Is that true? These people are not human. No. Nothing bad ever happens. Nothing bad ever touches them. And they can do like physics breaking inhuman things. Wow, yeah.

Because when Dwayne the Rock Johnson goes to jail and him and Jason Statham bust out of jail, Dwayne the Rock Johnson is like flipping four dudes at the same time. He's really strong though. He is really strong. His shoulders look like a straight up action figure. They're ridiculous. He's insane. Yeah. I also love that in those prison scenes, Jason Statham is wearing like a short-sleeved,

a short-sleeved orange prison over like a long white sleeve shirt and Dwayne the Rock Johnson has ripped the sleeves off his uniform. It's like he just he gets to be sleeveless. It's just a good thing that he gets to do. I enjoyed their antagonism while in prison. Yeah, it was silly. Were you excited when Mr. Nobody showed up? Ah, has he been in previous movies? Because you know I fucking love Kurt Russell. Maybe he is, I don't know. I think so, because I seem to know who Mr. Nobody was. Yes, he was, uh, he aided Dom and his team in the taking down of Decker in Abu Dhabi, so it must have been in the last movie.

And Decker is Jason Statham. Okay no, Decker is also Jason Statham. Right, right, right, his brother is the other show, right. Oh, yeah, they're like, who could forget Owen? And it's like, well, us idiots who never watched the first seven movies. It seemed like this movie was like a grand reunion of everyone who'd been in all the earlier movies. And it's like maybe we shouldn't have watched the medley first, you know? Yeah, we're fine. Yes, I was very excited to see Kurt Russell. One of the lines he says is, Come Work for Me, which along with Family and Cars is a theme

of these movies, I think. Is this the first appearance of Scott Eastwood as Lil' Nobody? Lil' Nobody, I think it is. Yeah, you like that guy? Eh, it seemed fine. Not as easy on the eyes as his father. Is he, who's his father? Clint Eastwood?

Is it really? Yeah. Oh, I thought he was just like using a cool stage name. No, no, that's... He seems too young to be Clint East's kid. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, late-life baby, huh? You can't stop that Eastwood from making babies. Oh, probably making one right now. Not!

Isn't Clint Eastwood's raw-dogging someone at 927 Eastern Standard time on a Thursday? In December of 2020, God I hope not. If he's listening to this later and he like looks at his counter and he's like I was raw-dogging Linda. I think you would just look at his counter and then start yelling at an empty chair thinking that it was Obama next to him. I forgot about that that was very funny. I have a note here that says something about a quarter mile and then the music swells, which is like the end of every scene in this movie. I do love that the dialogue is completely superfluous.

There's no, there is absolutely no need for it, and I'm pretty sure it was just like Control, C, from a bunch of previous scripts. For sure. Replace Decker with Cipher, I guess, and move forward. So then there's a prison riot, and we see the rock just parkoring around. Is that the sole thing, parkour? Sure, sure.

Freestyle walking. Free-stop walking. Remember that? I do. I lulled when he slides through the railing, bounces off the fence, jumps down and starts fighting somebody and I was like, nah, dog, come on. That's the worst effect in the movie, for sure. It's like they put all of their effects into cars and they're like, oh no, does anybody know how to do people? people. Every time Jason Statham parkoers off something he stops and looks at the camera like,

you see that? You see what I just did? See that? I mean like this movie presupposes that the rock is really agile. He was a rassler but not a very agile one if I remember correctly. Not a very agile one. He's a really big man and he's in his 50s. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's probably not that agile. And in disturbing shape. Yeah. Save some muscles for the rest of us, Rock. I know, it's so brute of you to take all of them. And no, I don't want to rise and grind.

So the comic relief in this movie is ludicrous and Tyrese who have honestly nothing to do. Are they just in this as like legacies? I think ludicrous and what is her name? Ramsey. Yes, Ramsey are just like the brains of the group who like figure out the smart stuff. Okay. And what's the time he's doing? Oh, he's just straight up comic relief. Okay. He has no, I think they only keep him around to make fun of somebody. Oh, yeah, I guess every group needs that, huh?

Yeah. So they open up this like program where they can find anybody in the world. It's called God's eye What I guess that must have been introduced in a previous film because the like The like flippancy with which they treated it means that they understand it Just the he's in London. He's in Cairo. He's in Los Angeles like think they're fucking with us. And like how do you find him anywhere? Are you just Googling? I don't understand how this program works. So it's facial recognition software.

So it's supposedly like, and they are just like searching all around the globe to, like through cameras to see if they can find. Like live webcams? Yeah, yeah. They can only find camgurls. He's not that. they's. they's. they's. they's. they they they they they they they they they they they they they can't. they can't. they can't. they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't. they can't. they can't. they can't. they can't. they can't. they can't. they can't. they can't. they can't. they can't. they can't. they can't. they can't. They can't. They can't. They can't. They can't. They can't. They can't. They can't. They can't. They can't. They can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't the. they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't. No, so they can't find Dom. Where's Dom? And poor Lettie is so upset because that's her husband. But also is she? No, I think she just has a face like that. She's just making that face. She's not as upset as she should be. But I guess at this point like everyone is heel-turned six times and they're just like, it'll be back. Yeah, this is this doesn't mean anything. Then they send in a grenade rumba basically a rumba full of grenades does a cipher which is Charlie's thearon's character's name.

But those fucking braids. She looks bonkers. Why does she have to be wearing those? You think she liked them? Sometimes the braids are braided too, which is like a very cool look. Did she just come back from Cabo? What is she doing? She comes in and she takes the mainframe. She just takes it, takes the mainframe. Keeping that mainframe. Yeah. And then to show that she's in control, she does a gross thing. The kiss scene? She kisses Van Diesel with all of her mite. She does. There's tongue.

You can see it going back and forth. I wrote, this is the most dramatic thing I've ever seen in my life, this kiss scene. Because the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're scene because they're doing it in front of Vin Diesel's wife who's like Dom how are you going to do this to me? We're family! And then they say like oh should we go get Brian and they're like no we don't bother Brian and I was like wait is Brian Paul Walker he's been dead for a really long time are we still pretending he's alive? They are. That's kind of sad to me. Why didn't they just just just th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th th th th th the th th th th th th th th th th thus thus thus thus thus the the the that that the the' to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their to toe. toe' toe sad to me. Why didn't they just have the character die? Apparently in the last movie they had to like computer generate him for some scenes. Because he didn't have to Alan, they chose to. Wait, you mean the last movie or the last movie he was

supposed to be in? So he wasn't finished filming seven. Oh, that's how recently he died. Yeah, I think it was seven. I thought he'd, no. Might have been six. I feel like they put one of these out every year, don't they? We're about to find out. Things we don't know about because we've seen none of the other movies. 2001, 2003, 201, 201, 2011.

So when did he Paul Walker? He passed away in 2013. Oh wow. So that would have, this was 2017, so six. Okay, so he's partially in six. Yeah, I guess so. Okay. But yeah, I think in the fiction of the film, his character has like gone to a farm upstate to live at his life. Where you can run around with other Bryants. Unfortunately, there's no address so we can't send up a letter. Run around with other Bryants! It's a Brian farm! And then Vin Diesel says to say for, he's like, I don't know who that was for, you, me, Lettie.

He's like, do you really like me? Do you, is this a thing that's happening right now? And she's like, no, it's for baby Kim Kutral over there, who's in a glass cage? Who, when did he make a baby with this woman? When he thought Lettie was dead, which is some time ago. And that's why it's okay that he did that, because he thought she was dead. And so as soon as she said that, I was like,

oh, now you are going to have to die to remove any ambiguity from his love life. Exactly. Like, uttering those words, you are currently dead. You signed your death warrant. There it is. And this is my baby, Marco. That's his middle name. I wanted his daddy to give him his first name. He never does though, does he? No, he does at the end of the movie. What does he name? Brian? Brian. He's Brian Marco. Brian Marcos Toreto. Diesel. Then he dropped him off that balcony.

Anyway. So what's happening here is that Charlie's thereon has kidnapped this woman and her baby and keeping them in a glass cell and it's to get Vin Diesel to get nuclear codes because he's so good at cars. Shit. That is 100% accurate the whole one.

That's the plot of the movie. Okay. They are flying, the glass cell is on an airplane that they're flying around that can't be detected because it flies around in the currents of no detection in the cyberspace guy. Did they say that? Because I was thi th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi the thi thi thi thi their thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. thi, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, theeean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thi. thea, thi, thiberspace sky. Did they say that because I was trying to make sense of that and I couldn't get it around in my life. Yeah, they were like, yeah, there's like currents and like if you were perfectly mapped it out,

you'd be able to fly a plane where no one could detect you with radar and x-rays and X-wings and ding dongs and a can have anything with a fast car if it's fast enough, if it's furious enough. When they go into that car warehouse after all like the teams reunited. It's like when you have to pick up something at IKEA in the warehouse and you're like oh fuck where do I even go? But this one's just filled with Lamborghinis a tank and a Bentley. Why though? So Tyrese could go, oh give me that Lambeau. Yeah, I'll give me that Lambeau. Without thinking that he was in fucking Siberia or whatever. Okay, wait, we're not there yet. There's so much more finger quotes plot to get through.

I mean, I want to be really clear about this. This movie's going quickly. It really is. It is the fastest two and a half hours I have spent in a movie in a really long time. It might even be the most furious. It probably. It probably was. So Dominic takes off his cross, right, and he hangs it on the glass like, this will protect you, you and baby Brian. And earlier we saw him soldering something onto the cross. I didn't see. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thee. the. thi. thea. the. the. thi. the. thi. It is thi. It is th soldering something onto the cross. I didn't see that so that's interesting. Yeah yeah he was doing some crosswork. Okay a crosswork puzzle? So anyway Shirley Saran says that if he does anything to her that there are men everywhere who are not there to save her but they're there to kill his son. Yeah. There are all these people who are just like ready to murder a baby that has been like hanging out for a long time. When you hang out with a baby for like kind of a long

time I think you get a little attached to them. No, no, you just want to murder them. Okay. I'm just putting in a 9 to 5 shift of murder baby. Then you go home? Well, you're on a plane. Well, thi. Well, when you go, when you go th tho tho tho, when you go tho, when tho, when you thi, when you thi, when you thi, when you thi, when you're thi, when you're thi, when you're thi, when you're th th thi, when you're th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, when thi, when you're thi, when you're thi, when you're thi, when you're th. When th. When th. When th. When th. When th. When th. When th. When th. When you're th. When you're th. When you're thi, when you're thi, when you're thi, when you're thi. When, when you're thi. When, when you're thi. When you're thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I still need to rest. I can't just be a baby murderer 24-7. No, that's fair. But when... So this is another thing that gets to this very much superhero movie vibes that she is just a super villain who has unlimited henchmen. Yeah, I was shocked at the end how many henchmen she had. And of course she has like her right-hand guy. Right. Who is a Swedish guy? Game of Thrones guy. Oh, he's in Game of Thrones?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here's where I'm going to be a snob. I've seen him in a, I think it was Swedish language film called Force Majure. I love that Booby. Oh, you snob. No, I did too. I thought it was great. Remade as Downhill, starring Will Farrell and Vip. What the fuck?

Julia Louis Dreyfus? Yeah, yeah. What? They did an American remake of Force Major. That's weird. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Can I tell you something? Yeah. I hate driving. I like watch this movie. I was like, why do these people love to drive? It's like. It's because you're not driving the right car. I'm driving a 2011 Toyota Corolla. Yeah, you got to get a real fast nitro car.

to the car and it hooks itself up. I think the problem is that I'm not shifting gears dramatically enough. It's true. It's true. Do you have a camera focused on your shift foot? On your clutch foot? I actually drive an automatic. It's going to be a problem. I. Do you make the shifting gears noises while you're driving though? Whah! Wharr? No, should I start?

Yeah, you should start doing that. And have a camera on your feet. Okay. And maybe talk about family and respect more. But the camera on my foot is just going to go from gas to break, gas to break. Because all I do is drive in the city. Yeah but but th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, thi, the the the the thi, the the the th, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thia, thia'a'a'a'a'a'n, toge, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, a break, because all I do is drive in the city. Yeah, but you just have to cut it dramatically. Okay. With Stinger music over the top, bon-dong! So there's a car room, a room full of cars. Yeah.

I just like kind of wish that there was one of them who was like not that into cars. So when they went into the car room, I don't know, I'll take the blue, I'll the blue, I'll the blue, I'll the blue, the blue, I'll the blue, the blue, the blue, the blue, the blue, the blue, the blue, the blue, the blue, the blue, the blue, the blue, the blue, the the the the the into the car and they were like, I don't know, I'll take the blue one, I guess. As much as I wish that there was one chubby person that just hung out with all these people and like, it was just like, I don't really like sports their cars, this is not my thing. Yeah. Also at the same time that they're looking at cars and Tyrese's being a ding-dung about a Lamborgurnenenenenenene. . thie. thie. thie. thie. thie. to their. to to to to to their. to to to their to their to their their to thia. to to to their to to to to to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to cars. I to cars. I to cars. I their their their their their their their their their tie tie tie the tie the the their tie the the the the the tieu thea tieu tie tie tha Dom goes to New York City to do a thing. Oh no, I guess they get the cars and then we get to the Dom scene. Yes, they have the cars in New York City. Right, right, right. So he goes to New York City and meets up with a cameo from an actress that literally shook

me to my core. Who was it? Helen Mirren is. Yes, I thought it was Helen Mirren. I don't think she was even on the IMDB page for it. I think she was like uncredited. Helen Mirren doing like deep cockney accent. Which was, can I say, adorable? Oy, apples and oranges!

Why? Do you think she runs with Jason Staten? Is that why she's in this movie? They're probably brus. They've probably done an expendables or something film together. Oh, okay. But like, I was just like, what the actual fuck is Helen Mirren doing in this movie? What in the actual fuck? You must just get a million dollars toren doing in this movie? What in the actual fuck? You must just get a million dollars to show up in this movie. That sounds wonderful. I'll be in the next month they want. I mean if they want me to. So he goes and he meets up with her and makes a plan. I love that we never hear the details or anything for a plan.

We just get the details after the plan goes down. We're also completely not introduced to this character, even though we're kind of introduced to all the other characters from previous films, I don't know if she's in a previous film, but we are not told who she is. Not until later when Jason Statham's like, oh, you went to talk to me mom. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. to apply me. It's no what he sounds like. No. I wasn't going to bring it up, though. So Vin Diesel's in New York and there is a motorcade for a Russian minister of defense. Like at this point I think we're like, what are we doing with a Russian minister of defense?

What does he have? Why are we doing this? Is he being wonderful? Beating through the streets of New York City, which like, if I've then then thi have thi have thi have thi have thi have thi have thi have thi have thi have thi have thi have thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thathe. thi. tho. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. tho. th. he being wonderful- Speeding through the streets of New York City, which like, if I've seen any law and order episodes, what I can tell you is there's always cars just speeding by in the background. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Get a lot of speed in New York City.

Well, when you're a Russian diplomat. Well, but it's Vin Diesel. Oh, that's right. thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho thi, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th, th is th is th is th is thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. think cars, I don't think it works like that. It's midday. When you know how to drive, like family. Cars and butts and babies. Do you think they just love the olive garden? You know, we're here we feel like family. This is the best.

I mean, if I'm being honest with you, I love the Olive Garden. That unlimited salad and breadsticks is great. Sure, yeah, yeah. That's what you go for. It's good for a family on a budget. Can't knock it. Yeah. You know, my grandparents were like first generation Americans. They fucking love the Olive Garden.

Why wouldn't you? Yeah. They had great time there. So yeah he's speeding all around New York City trying to get to the the minister and he's like hey have you seen my team oh I think I found them the right in front of me my team is here family. They are in the series of cars that they've chosen from the car room room of cars and have blocked the series of cars that they've chosen from the car room, room of cars, and have blocked the intersection and the sidewalk because some of them are just up on the curb and I felt kind of bad for those ones. They're like I'm here too. It's also like everyone got a car to match their personality. The Rock is in a

big boxy-blocking car and ludicrousrous in a fancy Bentley. That is so much more insight than I had into this movie. You're right though. Michelle Rodriguez is in a car of longing. Every time she's in a car, it seems to have race car seat covers. And I thought, does she carry those with her. This is my race car seat covers. I have to give the better about these wrecked cars. Anywhere without my race car seat covers. You know I'm a former street racer. So Cypher and her hacker,

lackey guy, who's in this movie for just the scene and no others, hacks into all of the robot cars, self-driving cars, or cars with like self-driving systems, I guess. Sure. In the city, which is all of them. I absolutely loved this. I fucking lost my mind at how much I loved it. It was so fun.

When the cars are pouring out of the parking garage onto the street. When she says, make it rain and they all rain down, like, I want to be clear. Before we get to that, it's just robot cars speeding completely out of control, but they're all forming like a pod, they're like running things over, the cars have come alive. Yeah. it's a beautiful thing to witness. There's a lot of high-speed U-turns. Very exciting. There's so much swinging in this movie

you think you're watching a college basketball game. So the cars come alive. And Cipher says, let's make it rain, and all of the cars drive out of different levels of a parking garage and land on the Russian Minister of Defense's car. He doesn't die, though. He doesn't die. No, no, he's fine. Also when the Russian minister is like, get me out of this. And the one guy pops out of the top of his, like, a tu-v. And just starts unloading into these cars with cars, thars, gun! He had a chain gun in the SUV, those fucking Russians!

The raining cars I wrote down, that is hands down the silliest thing I've ever seen. Yeah, yeah, but also really fun. The fucking silliest thing I've ever seen, and I couldn't believe I was watching it. It was amazing. I'm thinking, what if the Russian Minister of Defense's car had caught fire? I guess maybe that case was fireproof. For sure. Yeah, yeah. You've got the... That would have made it. Hard to read the codes. The nuclear. Yeah. Yeah. I always worry that I'm going to say that word wrong. Nuclear? Yeah. I've definitely heard you say nuclear once or twice. Because you are also a-hmm. Because you are also a former president, George W. Bush. I also saw him speak at a conference. It was weird.

Do you talk about archery? No, he talked about teaching abstinence in Africa, which didn't seem right to me. Yeah. Did he stop at any point and go, I'm a war criminal. Anyway. No, no, but he did have a weird tick with his jaw. He kept going like, ah. That's that coke jaw? Yeah, I don't know. Him Gina Davis.

This year was Shaquil O'Neal, but I missed it. It was online. So I work for a weird company. You've gotten shack on the podcast in the podcast the podcast the on the podcast. Do you think we could get him? I don't know. I honestly think we could. Hey Shaq, you like action movies or horror movies or rompcoms? What do you want to talk about, Jack?

I think he would do it, honestly. And he'd be a delight. Okay, let me see if I can contact his people. Call your people and get them to contact his people. It th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. to. th. th. to. th. th. th. to. to. th. th. to. th. to. Do, tho. Do, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi. Do, tho, tho, they. Do, th. Do, they. Do, th. Do, th. Do, th. Do, th. Do, th. Do, th. Do, th. Do, th. Do, th. Do, th. Do, th. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You're, tho. You're tho. You're tho. You're thoooooooooooooo. You the. You the. You thooooo. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Call your people and get them to contact his people. It's just me, I don't have people. Otherwise it's just Lucy and she just unlocks my phone and makes an emergency call, which is the new thing she's been doing. Nine-one fun!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Okay, so Dom gets the codes and he starts to drive away, but here are all the cars lined up and he's got to revit them. Oh, is he gonna rev it them? There's so much revving. And they're revving back. It means something to rev. Yeah.

Either respect, family or. And they all, all of their cars are equipped with perfectly targeted grappling hooks. How do you put a grappling hook into a car? And how do I not have one? So they all grapple him, and then they basically try to like draw and quarter him. And that's what happens when you turn your back on family. I blurt laughed so loud when there's, I think Duane the Rock Johnson has his grappling

hook in the door of Dom's car and Dom like looks at him and then just punches the door off of his car. Amazing. I mean, I had another word. It's stellar. It's just, it's like, just, scene after scene of the dumbest thing I've ever seen in a movie and it's so joyous and its ridiculousness. It's an absolute delight. They're all like talking about how many horsepower their car has.

And I like just turned to Rob and I was like, is that a lot? And he was like, yeah, I kept asking him like science questions through this movie. He was like, just, just, just, just, just, just, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, is that a lot? And he was like, yeah. I kept asking him like science questions through this movie. He was like, please stop. And they're like, oh, he's got 2,000 horsepower. I think it's 4,000. Troy 5,000. That a lot? There's a lot of horses.

It was, oh my gosh, yes, when you put it that way. It was a very powerful car. th. th, please, please, th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, th, th, th, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, th, please, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that,. It was, oh my gosh, yes, when you put it that way. It was a very powerful car. So Lettie somehow gets the codes from him, which I don't remember how. Yes, she snatches him at some point. And he chases her and then fires his gun into the air, which is like what I do when I need Rob to listen to me. I just fire one into the air. Wow. Oh, don't forget also while they're doing the grappling, the Rock's main job is to talk to them all about how they need teamwork. Oh yeah, he's kind of doing his soccer coach thing. See, it comes back. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, she's got the codes. And he's like, oh, you're going to have to give me to to to to to to to to to the to to the to to to the to to to the to the to to to the the to the to the to the the the to the the the the to the the the the the their their their their the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea. together. Wea. Wea. So. So. So. So., she's got the codes and he's like, oh, you're going to have to give me the codes. And then Game of Thrones puts his gun in her face and Dom was like, you can't put your gun in her face.

I got my gun in your face. Now I'm in your face. And then he, so he lets her leave, which makes Charlie's thorough angry he didn't kill his wife, question mark. So angry that she kills Elena. Which I saw it coming, I don't know. Also the way she was holding that baby, I thought she had it in like an ergo or something, like a baby carrier. And I was like, well, that's nice that she's doing baby wearing, because that makes

them feel really secure. No, she was just holding it. Yeah. And she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's speaking, and she's speaking, th. th. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, like, thinks, like, thinks, like, thinks, like, like, thinks, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I's it. Yeah. Yeah, and she's speaking all these platitudes about parents watching their children, which like doesn't matter for anything, and then she goes, I am the crocodile at the watering hole. You're like, wait, what? I know I should have been listening, but what? There are so many points in this movie, where I just want to turn to her and go, don't you real high right now? Super high. She looks super stone through a lot of this movie.

I think she's trying to be cold-hearted, but it's not playing all that well. It's just playing like stone, yeah. I think it's the spring break braids that are really throwing me off from her being cold-hearted. You like to party. I see that are really throwing me off from her being cold-hearted. Like, you like to party. I know you like to party. I see that air. You drank so many mohitos.

You probably had one of those drinks that comes in a giant trumpet-looking thing with a grenade on the bottom of it. Yeah, yeah. So I don't, so, okay, so, okay, so she's got the codes, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some reason they have to go to Russia, but I don't remember why. Well, she explains to him that she's got the code, so now she's gonna launch a nuke to show everybody that she's serious and they have to listen to her to do a thing about

a thing. So they're like, all right, we gotta to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to, we gotta go to Siberia and get the and disable the nuclear submarine that she's going to before she launches the nuclear weapons. And so this is when they are all driving the most impractical cars. Which is even a plot point because Tyrese is like spinning out of control and they're all just laughing at him. No one's like, oh my god, he might actually be killed by these Russian separatists. But it's also like, it's okay to murder them, they're just separatists.

Can you imagine if your job was to murder people to stop bombings from happening? And you spent half your time going going this fucking chuckle head. Tyrese! Can you imagine if you had this EMP that you could use to just like Y2K everything but in bursts so that like power would go out and planes would fall from the sky but only just like right here? So this gets to one thing one feeling that I had through in this movie and I wanted to bounce this off of you.

I feel like all of the dialogue and non-action parts in this movie felt like the interstitial parts of a video game. Oh, interesting. Where you're like playing like, I assume like a call of duty and you have to go and meet with somebody so they can tell you what to do the to do the to do the the the the they...... And they. And they. And they, they, they, they, they, they, they, th, th. And, th. And, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to, toeeeeeeean, toeeean, toeeean, toeeeeeean, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi and meet with somebody so they can tell you what to do, and then you go up and do blow-ups for a while. Yeah, I think that's probably very true. There's like obviously not a lot of thought put into any of the dialogue. Oh, fuck! But it also feels like, oh man, it'd be really fun to play a video game where you were trying to drive a Lamborghini away from a submarine that was busting up out of the

frozen ocean of B.T. It does feel like a boss fight. And when the submarine busts up out of the frozen ocean and launches a torpedo and Duane the Rock Johnson jumps out of his truck or leans out of his truck to guide it at something else. Oh, that's right. He does. He does. He just like grabs it and turns it and shiqs it's just to beautiful women hacking away.

It's so strong. Meanwhile, the submarine is like being remotely controlled by Cipher and by Ramsey. It's just two beautiful women hacking away. They're saying hacky things about each other's hacking. It's so silly. It's bonkers. I have a note that says, I mean, I didn't come here to not see the rock beat the shit out of someone. So I guess the rock beat the shit out of someone.

So I guess the rock beats the shit out of someone. Sure. Oh, this is when they're like maybe on the submarine because they kick up someone's body down onto the propeller and then look at it and I thought, would you look? Of course you look good to see what you did. I don't think. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'd look. I'd look. I'd look. I'd th. I'd thi. I'd thi. I'd thi. I'd thi. I'd thi. I'd thi. I'd thi. I'd thi. I'd thi. I'd thi. I'd thi. I'd thi. I'd thi. I'd thi. I'd tho. I'd tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd thi. I'd thi. I'd thi. I'd thi. I'd the. I'm the. I have theananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananann't theea. I thea. I thea. I have th you did. I don't think I'd look. You never unsee that. The submarine, when we meet the submarine, is on dry land. Yeah, it absolutely is. How does it get underwater? I guess if you just turn the propeller on, it's like, well, I guess I'm underwater now and I go underwater. And then even Charlie Saron's like, we need to get that sub into deep water where no one can find it. And it's like, wait, the the the, the, they, they, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to be, to be, to be to be to be to be to be, to be, to be to be to be to be to see, to see, to see, to see, to see, to see, to see, to see, to see, to see, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to see, to see, to see, to see, to see, to see to see to see thi, thi, thr-s, thr-s, thr-s, thrush, thr-s, thrube, thrube, thu. Sub-s, thrube, thrube, thrube, thrube, thr-s, is to get that sub into deep water where no one can find it. And it's like, wait, why would you not be able to find it?

Oh, there's all these submarines out in the ocean. That's the beauty of submarines. Is it true? We just abandoned them down there? No, they don't abandon them. They just don't know where they are. Like the true, like the, the Mawn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think they're in the Mawn. No, no, that wasn't my implication, but I like that you went. And you said anywhere, Alan. Yeah, they're trying to bomb Red Robin right now.

I'm gonna take out of Fudd Ruckers. Somehow end up in Panther Hollow Lake and it's like how. This doesn't even feed into that. What did I do? Why's there so much algae? So I don't know, there's like a chase scene, a prolonged chase scene where a tank drags a sled basically with Tyrese on it. Oh, that, so Tyrese's Lamborghini goes underwater. Ludicrous shoots it with a grappling hook on the door and says, hold on to the door, and pulls him out of the water to drive away, where he comes out like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they, they, they.a, they.a, they.a, thea, thea'.a, they.a, they.a, they.a, they.a, the door and says hold on to the door and pulls him out of the water to drive away where he comes out like sledding and Missy's scream laugh she was so excited about it. It was pretty amazing he's being dragged by a tank. Ludicrass was so excited about that tank. All of this is to get Dom's stupid baby back.

All of these people are losing their lives for Dom's stupid baby. Oh, that's right, because Statham and his brother have jet-packs, and they're jet-packing their way onto the plane to get the baby. Right, well, we saw what we thought was Jason Statham being shot in New York. I think Dom shot him, right? Yeah, he must have, because that was the plan, right? Oh my God. The plan that he made with his mother. Right. Um, I wrote, I hope one of them has a car seat. Fear not, they do.

And there's a prolonged gunfight with a baby involved. He's just in his little Greco car seat. I have to be honest, I loved this. Jason Statham with a baby is a good fucking look. Did you like the shit joke? I did. Rob left really hard at that and I was like you've loved a dirty diaper joke, don't you? Ha ha ha ha? Oh my notes get so sparse at this point. Yeah, because it's just, you can only look at it. You can't do anything else.

So, like, there's like a torpedo coming from the submarine, and I just looked at Robin, was like, can a torpedo come out like that? And he was like, no. And then a few minutes later, I was like, during the heat-seeking missile scene. I was like, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th like, th like, th like, th like, th like, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. Like, thi, like, like was like during the heat-seeking missile scene. I was like, it like turns, you know, 360 in the air. And I was like, hey, can I ask you a science question? He was like, no, a missile can't do that. Of course again, you just saw it in a documentary called Fade of the Furious.

I mean, I just thought it might, that might exist. What the fuck do I know? When that beat-seeking missile is chasing him and he jumps his car over the submarine to make it hit the submarine. He does a 360 flip over the sub. Like he's playing fucking Tony Hawk in his car. It's amazing. That car takes such a beating. Oh, it keeps on ticking. So we cut back to, Cypifer, Cyp C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C Cy. Cy. Cy. Cy. When, Cy. When, Cy. When, Cy. When, Cy. When, Cy. When, Cy, Cy, when, when, when, when, when, when that, when that, when that, when that, when, when that, when that, when that, when that, when that, when that, when that, when that, when that, when that, when that, when, when, when, when, when that, when, when, when, when, when that, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when that, when that, when that, when that, when that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that that a beating. It keeps on ticking. So we cut back to Cypher being like saying to Jason say

them like, how did you find me? And he looks at the cross and it's like boop, boop, boop. There was a tracking device on it all along. It's just a blinking red eye. How did she was too busy with her braids? I was braiding those braids. You think she has henchmen to braid for her. She's not doing this herself. Hey, while you guys aren't killing babies, do you mind if you just hit this braids for quick? She says to Jason say them, I'm the only one with a parachute and then just super villain escapes out of the plane. I feel like this is the only like true super villain thing she does. For sure. Yeah. It's still without any emotion. Yeah, she's like an emotionless Carmen San Diego. Where is she? Yeah. So Dom kills Game of Thrones because they were like setting up a plan that she wanted them to do a thing and he's like,

I'm not gonna do a thing, I'm gonna shoot this man. Right. How did he say? I'm not gonna do anything. I'm gonna do thing I'm gonna shoot this man right how did he say I'm not gonna do anything I'm gonna shoot this man much slower next time go ahead what are you giving me notes on my job impression now yes it's just turning into sling blade I don't know what that means Billy Bob Thornton's breakthrough performance in sling plate no Frenchfraud potatoes wow Billy Bob Thornton's breakthrough performance in Sling Plate? No. the wrench frod, potatoes. Wow. So now we're back to New York City where they're having a rooftop barbecue.

I have a question. Yeah. Really important question. So they're all hanging out. Jason Statham shows up carrying the baby. Did he have to travel across the Atlantic with that baby by himself? Uh-huh. That's brutal. And that's a f th, th, that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a thi thi that's a thi thi thi thi thi-a thi-a thi-a. Wow. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. I's a th. I's a th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. Yeah. I th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah carrying the baby. Did he have to travel across the Atlantic with that baby by himself? That's brutal and that's a fucking friend. Well now they are, now they're family. Now they're family. Because he's having family style dinner with them. He is and he says to his wife, I hope you're ready to raise someone else's baby that I fathered, hope that's cool. I am he doesn't th says says says says s says s says s says s says s says s says s says s says s says th. He says th. He says th. He says th. He says says th. He says says th. He says th. He says says th. He says th. He says thi th. He says th. He says th. He says th. He's thi. He's thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the th. He. He's the the th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's thi. thi. the. the. that. that's that's that's that's that's that's th. Hope that's cool. I have doesn't actually say that. She says she is though. Yeah.

And he says this is my baby Brian Marcos. Brian Marcos Toretto. And Kurt Russell shows up and he's like, hey, Duane the Rock Johnson's like, my daughter's here and she says no. Because family. Because family. she's tho. She's tho, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she's th. She, she's th, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she's she, she's she's she's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's thi. She's thi. She's thi. She's thi. She says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she says, she's again. Duane the Rock Johnson's like, my daughter's here and she says no. Because family. Because family and respect. And respect, and butts and cars and is that it? I think so. Babies. Do we say babies?

Mm-hmm. Babies and baby. And then family style prayer at the dinner and that's how the movie ends. And Brian, who just lives somewhere else. He's definitely to to to to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go the the the to go the the to go the the the the the to go the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. Because. Because. Because. Because. Because. Because. their. their. their. their. their. Because. Because. Because. Because. their. Because. Because. Because their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. the. the. toooooooooooooes. toooes. their their tooooes. th. thea. thea. their. Because. their their. prayer at the dinner and that's how the movie ends. And Brian, who just lives somewhere else. He's definitely not dead, don't worry. He just had to go upstate for a while. It's fine. He's living on a nice farm. We're just like not allowed to talk to him. And that is the fate of the furious.

Holy fuck. Holy fuck. . This was a brilliant choice, by the way. Well done. You picked it. I said any fast in the Furious movie and you were like, fate? You gave me a list of like the highest grossing movies. And all of the children out there only watch Star Wars and Marvel movies. And I was like, I don't want to watch one of those.

So that's it watch one of those. So that's it. Faded the Furious. Yeah. We did it. We did it. We did it. Oh my god the end of the year 2020. This is our last episode in 2020. Yeah. Well maybe 2021 will be better. Hopefully you're gonna rate this movie though? Oh yeah 10. I said that already. I'm gonna give it a fate. This is fucking fantastic. This is like the best two and a half hours. I'm such a bitch about how long movies are and how like they don't need to be that long. I needed every last second of this movie. When it ended, Rob looked at me with all this excitement in his eyes and he's like I feel like I'm on pure oxygen right now. It was so fucking fun. It was so much fun I had so much fun. Yeah. Yeah. I I definitely was like how can something be so convoluted? So stupid and so fucking fun all

at the same time. It's so transparent and it doesn't matter and it doesn't matter not a quit. But so so transparent and so tied up in fucking bullshit knots that you have to unravel later. And it doesn't matter. You're so like, yeah, woo! Blah, no, no, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Oh, you know what else is amazing? What? Wait, you didn't write it? I gave it a fate. I gave it a fate. I gave it an eight.

An eight? An eight. Why is it not a ten? I can't give this movie a ten. Fine. I'm sorry you don't have the joy in your heart. What else do you not hate? I love our patroans.

Ooh, can we talk to some of them? We can. Or let's talk about them, I guess. Oh, I'm going to call them right now. Roland Blackburn is a patron. Hi, Roland. Roland is a horror author, who cannot wait till the werewolf ambulance run down a cinematic classic, Phantasmasm 2, someday. Fun fact, he managed to work the euphemism, thunder in the cemetery, into a publication. Don't hate th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thate, th. to work the euphemism, Thunder in the Cemetery, into a publication. Don't hate me. Is that something dumb we said? Oh, it sounds like something dumb we would have said.

Yeah, I mean, that sounds on brand for us. Would you like to tell Roland what we're doing next week? Roland, we have a special treat for you. This is for you, Roland, we're going to do Fantasim-I too, too, too, too, too, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th some too next week. Oh, for fuck sake. A movie that I own on digital versatile disc. You guys can rent it on Amazon like me. People who don't own it on permanent media. I found it use at IEDS one day. I was very excited.

Oh, cool. Thank you so much to everyone who is a patron. For being so amazing. Thank you so much you guys we really appreciate your support. If you guys want to support us you can go to Patrion.com backstosh World Ambulance but also no big deal if you don't want to support us too because it's fine. Oh and patrons I'll be getting all of your addresses together thank you for responding and then we're going to get some time in the beginning of this year or th or th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. We're to get to get to get th. to get to to to thi to thi to to to to th. to th. th. to th. th. thi to thi to to to thi to to to to to to to to to to to to th. to to th. th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi theee thea thea. thea. thea thea. thea thea thea. thea to th responding. And then we're gonna get some time in the beginning of this year, or next year, we're gonna get all those cards out to people.

Someday, some other sweet day. Soon, very soon, very soon. It's too hard right now. It's like way too hard. Hey, can we read the, the corrected review. Oh, please. Please. Okay. So a couple weeks back, Alan and I read a review from a listener named Brandon J. G. that we accused of being a bot because they left us a review on Apple podcasts with the title Americans Like Your Podcasts too and then it just said five stars and stripes forever but they only gave us four stars which we of course Lamb based them for.

We got an edit. In Snell, five stars and it says edit, updated to five stars which I originally intended to give but the American education system failed me and I can't count. I love you both. Thank you for bringing me and other such joy each week, much love and actual human and not a bot. Brandon JG, we love you too. You're probably still a bot, but that doesn't change my love for you. That's so sweet. It's so sweet.

I love that it was a misclique. Four stars. I also love that we bullied you into fixing it. Well, I love that he didn't notice it. He typed a little bit and it just went away and he's like, well I guess I'm done. Can I read you another five star review? Please. This one is just says, just titled, Five Stars.

I found this podcast right as Alan left his more popular podcast and devoted his time to this one. What a friend he is to help Katie out like that. Not only is this podcast entertaining but also informative, untrue but thank you. Where else would a comic book nerd learn about exploding orgasms that bees experience, not on Marveling and Marvel's Marvels, that's for sure. Also I learned that someone else knows what the devil was beating his wife means? After I listened to the first few castes, I watched the thing to understand Alan's taste because he referenced it so much in the beginning. I liked it. I don't recall if Katie referenced

a movie more than weekend at Bernies or Child's Play 2, which I had seen both of several times each. This is from the hilarious Aquarius. Thank you. It was hilarious. It was hilarious. Oh man. People are wonderful. I love you guys. You guys are so fun. Thank you. I love that when you look at other people's reviews, it's just like super generic stuff. And then when you look at ours, it's just our listeners being like super funny and bringing up in jokes and just like truly enjoying it, which like, I can't, I can't

overstate how much joy this brings me. Yeah, it really like emphasizes that connection that we have, which is really wonderful. 2020 is a zero, but you guys are a 10. It's true. It's true. I give you all a fate. That's, I thought it was an 8. No, I want to give them a 10, I give them an 10, I give him a name, and I need them to step their game up in 2021. You guys write to Alan at World Famials and Gmail. to the teaml.

And find out how you can be better for him. Well, I'm going to need you guys to be better at family, respect and buts. And cars. Take him or leave him. That's a personal choice. But cars respect in families are not. Jason, why didn't, why didn't Vin Diesel take the baby home? Why does Jason say them take the baby home? He just had to deliver the baby. It just took a couple days to get there. That sucks so hard for him. Taking a baby that small and a transatlantic flight and you don't know them. Listen, if Vindiesel had paid for expedited shipping he would have got that babysitter. That's some wayfair shit right there. Just kidding, it's a lie, don't listen to them. Okay, hey this year's

over, let's put all the shit behind us, let's do better next year. Not that you guys need to do better, everything else needs to do better. Yeah, and let's all get go get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get the the to get the tha tha. tha. the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the tho. th. th. thi. thi. thathea. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the be able to be in the same room together again soon. Yeah maybe someday we'll do a live show again. Yeah, yeah all that stuff. Yeah. But not until family, buts respect and maybe babies. And cars. And cars. I keep forgetting the cars. Oh my god, just get it right. Family. Alan, I love you, I love you. job. I love you too, Katie. Thanks to everyone for spending another year with Wearewolf Ambulance. I felt like I should howl right there and I don't know why. I'm super glad I restrained myself from doing it. Thank you. Thanks for listening to another year's worth of

episodes of Whirlofambulance. Bye. Bye. Bye. Maybe acts in on dead pools, Savini's sightings at the pool. No way to do in Finland's cute, fulfilled reviews. Killer clouds and leapt the face. Can't end in atmosphere space. Appearance a basketcase. Please please make a kid in your grave. E&T, a road and comedy reviews

hungry, Brian, from wings and Stephen King. E&T, we live deliciously bad temperatures of bees, crazily come today. A pair of normal activities from Mr. Rogers City, END, END.