Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 315- Knock Knock (2015)

Episode Date: January 11, 2021

In this week's episode, we learned a very important lesson: sometimes Keanu Reeves is just not enough. We're discussing the 2015 Eli Roth erotic (sigh) horror film "Knock Knock." Special topics for your consideration include: a slight limitation in Keanu's acting range, corny middle-aged dads with an eclectic vinyl collection, tossing a fried egg on it, opinions about art, and a joke that finally finds its home.  We've done one other Eli Roth film-- Episode 179- "Cabin Fever." We've also covered two other arguably erotic (SIGH) horror films-- Episode 286- "Knife + Heart" and Episode 302- "Verotika." Would you rather just do something really fun? How about Episode 247- "Piranha"? Find us online: Support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance and get bonus episodes about action movies Buy merch for yourself or those you love at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance on Twitter @werebulance on Instagram @werewolfambulance. [e-mail] If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. Someday we're gonna be #1 in Finland. Some sweet day. Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down. Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast. 

This movie better not make Kianna Reeves look the. That's my first note. This movie better not make Kianareev look back. That's my first note. Well, Alan, I have some bad news for you. Oh no! What is he doing in this movie, question mark? What movie are we doing? We are doing the 2015 film, Knock Knock.

By your favorite director in mine. Eli Roth. Although I will say that he's I felt like he was very he had a lot it showed a lot of restraint in this film for sure so I appreciate that because a film's like hostile while they are for somebody and he did those things well for those people that is deeply not for me. And there's none of that in this movie and I think that's very good. For sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder of having... By that I mean torture porn. No, Katie's not a torture porn fan. Not like me. No, you love to just watch

people get tied up and slit. No, I absolutely do not. I felt gross. Do it sound gross. I apologize. I thi th th th th th th th th th th th th i th i th i th i th i th i th i th i th i th i th i th i th i thi. I'm sorry. Did it sound gross? I apologize. I think it's just the word slit. Yeah, I think it's the double entendre. I wonder of having his wife be one of the actresses in this movie really toned him down a little bit. Oh, to whom is he married? Lorenza Izo, Genesis. Oh, he was married. This is our second Lorenza, Izo. Oh, this is our second Lorenza Izzo. Oh, what else is she in? She was in Holidays, if you recall, that anthology film we did. She was in the last one. I think it was a new year's one where she was on a blind date with a guy who we see he's like about to chloroform her and then she kills him with an

axe because she was the killer all along. Do you remember that? I remember just thinking she was really good in that. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I didn't realize they were married. Mm-hmm. Or they were at the time? Yeah, yeah, they're no longer married. I see. I feel like it'd be weird to be married to Eli. Sure. Yeah. Not something I'd want to do. Well, that's why you haven't. th that that that that th th th th that th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th they the the they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they were they were they were they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they to to to to thou to to to the to the to the thou to the the the thou the they were they were they were they were they off the table, Eli. Off the table. It's weird that he had to settle for Lorenza Iso. A stunningly beautiful woman. She is stunningly beautiful and Anna Di Armas or De Armas is fucking insanely beautiful. They are so fucking beautiful. It's ridiculous.

Like, I, she makes me like, the phrase cute as a button. She's like beautiful as a button. Because she's also like adorable looking at the same time as being like, insanely gorgeous, yeah. It's that tiny little nose, like, it's so you can't go wrong with that. Yeah. My introduction to her was actually, that I realized was a, which it knives out where she

plays the, she's like the person who works for Christopher Plummer's character in that movie. Oh, is that her? She's a nurse? Yes. Oh, is that her? Yeah, that's her. She's a nurse? Yes. Oh. Yeah. How about that?

Yeah. Huh. I like that movie. A lot. Yeah. That was the last movie I saw in theaters before the lockdown. It might be for me, too. Yeah. My friend Tara and I got soups drunk at Hidden Harbor, stumbled down the street to the manor and watched it. Oh, so nice.

Yeah, it was the thing we like to do back when we could go to a bar and then stumble down the street and see a movie. Sure. But no, now we're just at home watching Knock knock knock. Knock, knock. This is going to be dumb, isn't it? Nope! says this is going to be dumb isn't it? Nope. A lot of a lot of weird art in this house which I guess is a plot point. A lot of not kid friendly i.e. very breakable looking art in this house. Yeah those are little kids. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think the portraits were meant to be ironic or do you think they were serious? I think they're

supposed to be serious. Like where he's pretending to be the monster and the kids are pretending to be scared? Do you think that was meant to be a joke? I think the one where it'sure of themselves in the house, I don't think so. I think that's like, I think this movie is making fun of that. Yeah. But I think like for that family, that's supposed to be legit. That's so funny. That's the thing I just don't get. I have like two pictures of Lucy hanging up in they're all from when she was a baby. I have two pictures of Lucy as a baby hanging up in my house too. Wow, one of us is doing a great job and one of us is doing a terrible job.

It is very clear which is which. I'll step my game up, I'm sorry. Oh please. So we see the words directed by Eli Roth over the kissing sounds of Keanu Reeves and his beautiful Hispanic wife. He's just got like a boner for Hispanic women. Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I listened to an episode of Reply All, the podcast about the internet from what, what, Gimlitt or whatever.

Yep. He was in that show? Uh-huh. I listened to the one about being a woman, an Asian, an Asian, an Asian, an Asian, an Asian, the th, th, th, th, th, the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the th, th, th, th, th, th, the th, th, the th, th, thia, the the, thia, th, thia, thiou, the words, the words, the words, the words, the words, the words, the words, the words, the words, the words, the words, the words, the words, the words, the words, thiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the words, the words, the the thi, the thi.a, the thia, thia, thia, their, their, thia, their, their, their, their, their, their, whatever. He was in that show? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I listened to the one about being a woman, an Asian woman on dating sites, and it's about about having, like men having yellow fever, what they call it, which is a very gross term, and I didn't coin it, and I don't really like using it, but I'm going to say it. I feel like he has whatever that fever would be? For Hispanic women? That makes sense, he's got a type? I guess so.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So he's like trying to fuck his wife and his monster children come in and interrupt it. Right, they bust in right as she's like, seems to be going down on him. Like, he's there talking to the kids, he's definitely has a bone dog. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Dad's got a boner. If only Monica Balucci would show up and bite it to get all the blood out of it. Yeah. Yeah. I forgot that was Monica Baluchie. Speaking of beautiful women, Monica Balucci. Ladies and gentlemen, Monica Balucci.

But he's just like now, he like turns on his dad mode, and he's like, chocolate with sprinkles, it's my favorite. And it's like, so hard to watch. Because you know he's got a heart on. Because you know he's got a heart on. And because he just doesn't seem comfortable at all with children. Not at all. So, you know of my undying love for Keanu Reeves.

That's why I thought this would be a good choice. I mean, clearly I was wrong, but I know you love the man. He has a wonderfully small acting range. And this movie keeps asking him to go outside of that range? Ooh, to not good ends. It to me I like sort of wonder why he agreed to do it because he knows what his range is in the year 2015. For sure. The year of our Lord and Savior, 2015. He's supposed to look mildly stunned and then beat the shit out of everyone. That's his job.

Yeah, yeah, that's his wheelhouse. That's his wheelhouse. How did you feel about sexy talk in monster voice with his wife? I guess my thought is like I wonder if even very, very hot people as they are are still this lovey two kids in. Because I can tell you from some average looking people It's not, it's not, doesn't work. It's, yeah. the, yeah, yeah, the, that, the, that, the, yeah, th, th, th, th, th, the th, th, yeah, th, th, th, th's th's th's their, yeah, th's th's thi's thi's thi's their job. Yeah, thi's thi, that's, that's, that's, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their job. Yeah, the job. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, th's, th's job. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th's th's their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their their their their the's the's theeeeei's thi's thi's thi's their thi's thi's their thi's their their thi's thithey are, are still this lovey two kids in. Because I can tell you from some average looking people, it's not, doesn't work like that. Like if your spouse is like super, super, super fucking hot, are you still like that? Or is it even after two kids, are you like, okay, fine, just like, I have to go to work, so do it quickly. I think it's probably in the the the the the the the the the the the the the go to work, so do it quickly. I think it's probably in real life the latter,

but I think in film world it's always got to be the former. I think that makes me feel very uncomfortable. It's like a married couple with two kids being like, I just want to fuck you so bad. You're like, no, that's just not, I don't, why are mom and dad fucking. And you should know you'll never be able to squeeze one in the morning before the kids get up. Oh no, God, that's a thing of the past. Ha ha ha ha! I just found the like, oh, monster horny, monster liking.

Like that whole thing. Monster gonna fuck you. No, monster, get in the monster liking. Like that whole thing? Monster gonna fuck you. No, monster, get in the shower. We have to go. How would you just be like, Keanu, you've got, you have to stop doing that right now. Have to stop. to stop.

As an annoying partner, I am told that I have to stop doing things often, and that would definitely thin' thoing, you thii, tho, thi, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, to be to be to to to to to to to to to too, to, to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, I to, I to, I to, I to, I to, I to, I to, I to, I to, I to, I to, I to, I to, I to, I to told that I have to stop doing things often and that would definitely be one of them if I ever did that. You're pretty annoying, you annoy Missy. Oh sure, you've met me. I'm the annoying one around here too. I think that's why we get on so well. You never really annoy me. No, and then same. I'm sure we would be different if we were partners. Oh, we could never be in a romantic relationship I would strangle. Oh. Oh, miss miss miss miss. Oh. Oh, miss. Oh, miss. Oh, miss. Oh, you thi thi thi thi to to thi. Oh, you. Oh, you. Oh, you. Oh, you. Oh, you, you. Oh, you, you, you thi, you thi, you've to to to to to thi, you've to to to to to to to to to to to to to to me, you, you, you've to me, you've to, you've to, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you. You. You thi, you, you, you. You thi. Oh, you thi. Oh, you thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, you've th. We could never be in a romantic relationship. I would strangle you. You're a wonderful friend. And I would just go, oh would you? Would you? Yes, I would. I absolutely would. Oh, would you? Don't fucking test me. Oh, my God.

So that's how I feel about it, basically. So, mom and the kids are leaving. So that's how I feel about it, basically. So, mom and the kids are leaving to go to the beach, but dad can't go because he has to get architecture 3D work done. Yeah. So that's why he's home alone and he's also going to get a massage at some point. Do some PT on his shoulder. Do you recognize that, Massus? I did not.

That's Colleen Camp, who is Yvette from Clue. Oh, no shit! I believe she's also in the original movie that this movie is a remake of. Oh, I didn't realize this was a remake. It's a remake of a film from 1977 called Death Game. Death game. That makes her coming, like showing up boobs out makes total sense now. Yeah, she's fucking calling camp, yeah. That's

brilliant. I know I love her. Yeah. So he's, he's like makes this big deal out of being a DJ. And he's got like these two turn tables, he's listening to music while he's like working, but he's like fucking listen to Detroit Rock City. It's like the least cool thing to listen to you on vinyl. Which is like, I'm a fan of that song. to get that song. But if you're like, I need to get some work done, let me pop on Detroit Rock City when I'm a DJ who was asked to go on tour as a DJ.

He, yes, he, okay, so clearly he's meant to be somewhat obnoxious. Like when you see him doing his work, he's wearing like an elbow patched cardigan, his glasses, drinking a glass of red wine with his design program in front of him, and it's like a very specific look. And also their house is like this future dwelling, it has a courtyard for his wife's artwork in it and just like. I was like, it's the implication that he designed this home of many hallways. If so, he's not a great architect. Like, you don't want to have to turn 90 degrees and then 90 degrees again, and then 90 degrees again just to take a shit.

I forgot my phone in the bedroom. Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh! Oh! So while he's working we meet Louis, who has asthma. Yeah.

Which is pretty much... Did you feel as an asthmatic? Did you feel a kinship with him? Oh, of course. Of course I did. I did like that. He was 3D printing his architecture. I was like, oh, I guess that's a thing now that people do probably.

I guess, but then I thought is he doing it and then he's like oh no this design won't work and then he just throws it in the trash it seemed very wasteful to me. Yeah for sure but he's a rich. Yeah absolutely they do at one point call him Mr. 1% or something which I liked a lot. There's like this sweeping shot at the beginning of the movie to show you that they live in like this extremely wealthy neighborhood of cul-de-sac. The film begins on the Hollywood sign, like just so you know I think this is in California. Is it? Was it? I think?

I don't know, I don't know. I don't know. While he's working, there is a knock-knock at the door. So I was watching this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie, this movie, I this movie, I was watching, thicking, I was watching, the movie, thii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi, I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thin, thin, thin, thin, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th like really made me jump because I thought oh my fucking God someone's at my door. Oh, don't knock on people's doors. As a general rule, everyone? Yeah. Yeah, I mean I never answer the door when someone knocks. No. I'm just like on the second floor like, who, huh? Who did? Who did? I assume you'll text me if you want to come in? Exactly. And if you don't th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th like th like th like th like th like th like th like to to to to to to to to the the to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tho? I tho? I tho. I thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooom? toooom? tooom? tooom? tooom? to their that there? I assume you'll text me if you want to come in. Exactly. And if you don't know that number, I don't want you to know that number. I don't want you to know that story. I don't want you to tell you this story? No. I was sleeping. It was like one o'clock in the morning and I heard this like thbell ringing ringing ringing and then someone pounding on my door and I was like what the fuck is going on? So I went downstairs like all bleary and like bleary-eyed and looked out my front window which was sort of adjacent to the door and I saw a blue hoodie

and black pants which is like the only thing my cousin Joe wore at that time and I thought oh fuck like if he's trying to get in here and he the the the the the the the And I thought, oh, fuck, like, if he's trying to get in here, and he, because he has both my phone number and a key to my house, and if he's banging on the door in the middle of the night, something bad must have happened to him. So I throw open the door, like, panicked. And it's just this old man standing there and he goes, ah, this is my house. th door. It was really scary. You can't just claim a house, my man.

No, no, it's not yours, I'm sure of it. You would have painted it more tasteful colors. Did he scream squatters right to try to run him? I was like, sit in that chair right there, sit in that chair. And then I called the police. And I was like, this old man's confused. Can you please help him? I still blame my cousin Joe for dressing as like a crazy old man. That was, yes, I can see Joe having that style for sure. I was like, fuck, who else would wear something so crazy? It's so stupid. So when you open the door, it wasn't too incredibly beautiful wet women outside of your house. No, that has not th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th their th there their th there th their there th they they they they they they they're they're they're there there there there. I they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're still. I they're still they're still still still they're still still still that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that there door, it wasn't too incredibly beautiful wet women outside of your house. No, that has not yet happened to me.

But their acting is not very good when they come in. They are like extremely suspicious. For sure. Yeah, I felt like they could have been less suspicious. I will say if you asked me to say something nice about this movie, it seems like the two actresses are having a fucking ton of fun doing this movie. Absolutely, and I also think they're both fine actors. I think they're doing a fine job. Yeah, I think they're doing a good job actually except for Keona Reeves. Yeah, it's got a part for the course. Yeah. You seen the Dracula? Jonathan Harker is boring but not that boring you know. He's also British but

not that not British. Not that not British. So we're introduced to Genesis and Bill and I had like watched this back-to-back obviously with last week's movie and I was like alchemy and genesis is this what we're doing now? This is what we're doing? Okay fine my life is garbage. My name's Genesis like like the beginning. Of time. Oh, whoa, let me get you an iPad and some towels. You fuck you. Because it's like you can use my phone and they're like, oh, we don't know the phone number, but we can go on Facebook. Whoa, yeah, towels and an iPad, hold on, coming right up. Can I ask you a question about dogs?

Uh-huh. Do you have to put them to bed, like children? Yeah, like our dogs, when we go to bed, they are told to go to bed and they lay in beds that are on either side of our bed. Yeah. Yeah, they just wait till I fall asleep and they crawl up into the bed with me. That's not the weird part. I guess I just didn't think you had to put dogs to bed. Like, if you're not home. You've never seen that video. There's like a video of this like little like French bulldog or something, that's like super sleepy and the owners try and to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi try to tell to go to sleep and it's like no I don't want to go, and it's like leaning back but it's fighting sleep and it's the most adorable thing you've ever seen.

I have not seen that. Yeah, yeah. But like if you're not home to put your dogs, what happens to them? Well someone's got to the dogs? They would just wait until we came home and went to bed and then they were going to bed. So they wait up for you? Yeah, they wait up. Dude, this is why I have cats. They don't give a fuck what I'm doing.

I don't give a fuck where I am. They don't give a fuck where I am. I mean, when I come into the house, I have four animals that greet me when I come into the house. Two dogs and two cats run at the door. And you know what, with only four, you're still one below the city of Pittsburgh limits. So what do you want, Plano Enzo? No, we already have that hermit crab. No, we already have that her trap. Those don't count, those don't count. It's cat's cat, it's cat, it's cats, it's cats, it's cats, it's cats, it's cats, it's cats, it's cats, it's cats, it's cats, it's cats, it's cats, it's cats, it's cats, it's cats, it's cats, it's cats, it's cats, it's cats, it's cats, it's cats, it's cats, it's cats fermid crab. It's not though. How about Enzo?

I don't want that cat. That cat lays pee-p-bee-movie traps for kids. Do you think we're famous enough that someone would want my cats? Like I could re-hom them with someone. They're just assholes, that's all. I mean, they're cats. Yeah. So... Anyway, this obnoxious middle-aged man is saying to these young women, I love the sound of vinyl. Yeah, they have to wait 45 minutes for an Uber. Oh God, Uber sucks in the suburbs, huh? I guess, especially way up in the mountains like that.

Yeah. And they're like, hey, can we try our clothes? He's like, whoa, yeah, you can do that. I'll get you some robes. I'd be like, put that towel on the floor and sit down. They'll dry eventually. I, I can't imagine a world where this would go down the way it went down. Ma'am, get on the porch the porch the porch the porch the porch the porch. I I the porch. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the porch. I. I. I the porch. I. I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I'm I'm I'm I'm I just. I'm I'm I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I'm, I'm, I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'd th. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm. I th. I th. I'm t t t t t took. I took. took. took. took. too took. took. too too too too too too too too too too th. would go down the way it went down in my life. Ma'am you have to stay on the porch, ma'am, get on the porch. Yes, I shoved an old man with a door. He was old and confused.

No threat to me. I lived in Philadelphia long enough to be like, what do you want? What do you want? What do you want? God? People from Philadelphia are so mean. You cannot walk down the street there and say hello to someone or they'll just knee you right in the pits. They assume you're trying to steal from them. Hello is just a harbinger of a mugging. Yes he's a DJ. So when he tells them that he's a DJ or he used to be a DJ, the Onad Day Armas says, Ah, you're like Major Laser. And I was like, Major Laser, I know who that is. And I felt like young and cool and then I was like, oh, this movie's six years old.

And all I know is bubble but, if I'm being honest. Isn't that Diplo, Major Laser?'t that Diplo? Isn't Diplo Major Laser? Or am I wrong? Fuck it, I don't know. It could be Keanu Reeves for all I know. He did play bass in a dog star, was the name of his band. Dogstar, that's right. Was anybody else famous in that band, or was it just him?

I think he was the famous in that band, yeah. Gotcha. So we get such choice lines and this is, you know, underwear models are the kind of guys you fuck when you're 14. That's a line. It's just moving. I'm really into threesomes now so that when I get a boyfriend I know he'll never cheat. It's another line. I'm trying to get into threesomes.

Trying to get into. You're fucking practicing. They're also just touching him so much. I don't care how gorgeous someone is. There's no way I'm letting them touce me that much that much that much that much that much that much that much that much that much that much that much that much's no way I'm letting them touch me that much. For sure. Yeah. I do like that like he just uncomfortably keeps moving around the room as they keep getting closer to him. Yeah. It is such a long scene too. The scene of them talking about him being a DJ and talking about underwear thumbs and they start going on about monogamy and how humans's the humans the humans the humans their their their their thomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomomom-in thso. And how thian thian thian thian they and how they they thian they are they are thson-s they's they's thi thi. thumbed th-m-m-mys-mys-mys-mys-up. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi to to to thi to thi-s. thi-s thi-s thi-s thi-s thi-s thi-s. I thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-soo an thumbed thumbs, thumbs, thumbs, thumbs, thumbs, thumbs, thumbs, thumbs, thumbs, thumbs are the only species to do it, so it's like unnatural. Yeah.

But also, like, we're the only species to have thumbs. Sure, we're the only ones who build cities. Like, come on, buddy's. I've never seen a monkey drive a car. Oh, really? I'll send to some videos. It's hilarious. Okay, find me a monkey driving a car video and send it to me right after this call, okay? I'm a big fan of monkey smoking cigarettes, I know that much. Ooh, that I would watch.

Oh, so Genesis is like, hey, I've got to go use the bathroom. And she's gone for a while, and Bell makes him play some Spanish music and she starts dancing sexy for him? It's sort of like, um, interestingly threatening at this point, I would say thi.... thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thin. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, that I'm, that I'm, that I'm, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that I I I I I I that I th. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, that, that, that, that, that, that, that I'm, that I'm, that I'm, that I'm, that I'm,'s sort of like, interestingly threatening at this point, I would say, where he's being threatened by these women who are traditionally not very threatening to men. I don't know. There's like, I do like sort of this twist of him being like, hesitant of them or like lightly fearful of men. It's a nice, like, turnabout as fair play, right? I mean he also like kind of like lightly threatens them at one point.

He's like you don't seem dangerous and I'm pretty sure I could take both of you. Right. Which is also a double entendre. Yeah. Oh right. Ugh. Ugh! So the Uber shows up, and both the ladies are gone at this point. And he goes and gets their dried clothes and is like telling them and yelling at them to put their clothes on, but they're naked in the bathroom. Saying things like, if our bodies were capable of doing it, then we were meant to, right? Which is like absolutely not true. Because like I'm absolutely capable of shitting on the floor and rolling in it but I'm not meant to do that.

They're like sort of almost teenage-like leaps of logic though, you know? Oh for sure. For sure. And they're like feeding into the male fantasy of like this is basically the opening to a pen-ass letter. Yes. And even like when they're when Anna Day Armas is going through, what is his name, Bell? Yeah. Bell is going through his records, and she's like, oh this and that and this and that, and he goes, well I have pretty eclectic taste. And it's like like like, like, I th, with a lot of money you know I like that he's written as being like just sort of obnoxious you know yeah around yeah it's definitely a movie of no likeable characters I mean I disagree okay I like the girls I like the girls but when they do the things that they do, it...

I mean, well that's the thing, Alan, we never learn why they do the things they do, because they have no character development. We see no reason for them to do anything that they've done. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, well, it's very funny games in that aspect. I never seen funny games. It's really brutal. I don't recommend it, but like you don't know why The people who are like or it's like the strangers

You don't know why they're doing what they're doing. But the strangers are like a silent deadly force and these are just like talky talkie talkie talkie women that you never learn why they're doing this. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Like how did this start for them? Right, right, right, right, right, because he's not the first one according to them. Yeah. I'm an architect, so I believe everything happens of your own design. Kiano, zip it, button, it, put it away. Did you get a, um, a vibe from the earlier discussion with him and his wife that he may have been, like, there may have been some past infidelities in their relationship? Oh, no, I didn't. Where did you get that vibe? When she was talking to him about him going away, or her going away for the weekend,

it just seemed like there was a little bit of hesitation there. Oh, interesting. But it also like, I think, like, overall, this this this this this this this this this this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie thi thi thi thi thi, thioleaicicicic, thi, thioliolioliolioli, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi.eea, thiiiiiiiiiii.eea.ea.ea. thi. thi.a. their, their, their, their, their, there. Oh interesting. But it also like I think like overall this movie does not paint women in a delightful light like I think you don't say. And I think the wife is like you know kind of not shown in the best light in the beginning. She's a harpy. Maybe maybe yeah a little bit a harpy. A little bit of a harpy. So they force him basically to have, like, into having sex with them. And the sex scene goes on for way too long. They both go down on him and I just thought, does he have two dicks?

Because the way that they're moving their heads looks like he must have two dicks. And I thought, Eli Roth, you know he doesn't th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thu, thi, thi, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, thi, thi, thi,. Oh, whoa, ask me anything. That's still like one of my favorite things to happen on the internet is the AMA with the guy with two dicks. I know that that brought you so much joy. I know. Anyway, what they're doing to him is assault. For sure. Yeah. And it, just wait, it only gets worse.

Yeah. But there's like, a lot of this movie felt very what I assume a lifetime movie is like. Or maybe it's like Skinnemax or something like that where it's just like, there's like these like, like, we were joking before we were recording about put them on the glass. There's a lot of scenes of like women smushing their boobs against the glass doors in the shower. Tossing a fried egg on it. Oh my god that's so funny. But like and then there's these like long like shots of of like their bodies intertwined

and you can't tell where one ends and the other begins and just wrote, oh this is the erotic part. Because it's happening in his bathroom, which is very steamy and there's like windows and their bodies are pressed up against the windows with fried eggs. And we've been told that he's like had shoulder surgery and his shoulder hurts, but he's like picking these women up and just fucking them against a wall and like, guess the shoulder feels okay now.

I love that I have three notes about the sex scene, which goes on for like at least 10 minutes. Oh, it goes on forever. They force a blowjob on him. Put him on the glass. This is going on a little bit long. It is going on a little bit long. He wakes up alone in his bed the next morning. He looks at the clock, it's 8.50 a.m. and there are like 40 texts from his wife. That is unreasonable. That's early. that's early when you have kids and your kids and wife are out of town. And she's like, where are you? Where are you? It's 8. the the the the the the the the the the th. It is. It is. It's the the the the th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's is is is is is is is is is is is is is th. It's is is. It's is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's when you have kids and your kids and wife are out of town and she's like, where are you, where are you? It's 8.50 a.m. Let the man sleep. Maybe that kind of fed into my idea that there might have been some infidelity at some point too. Totally, that seems reasonable now that you say that.

And he also seems like kind of a fuck up in some weird ways. Yeah. I don't know because he seems he seems to be to be to be to be to be to be he seems he seems he seems he seems he seems he seems he seems he seems he seems to be he seems to be to be he seems to be to be to be to be to be to to to to th. th. th. th. to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to me to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thi. thi. to. to. thi. th. to seems to be rich. I don't think her arts pulling in all that money do you? What? Needed like colors on statue? No. Also, I think that she was a painter and a sculptor because she's like a fucking Michelangelo. So he puts on his scoop neck tea. Sure. Well, and why wouldn't you? He walks the like 360 degrees around to his kitchen. Whoa they're gone, whoa they're gone, whoa they're here. They're behaving like animals. I have that note, these girls are animals.

They're drinking syrup out of a bottle and one of them is eating out of the dog bowl. Why? Why is she eating out of the dog bowl? I don't know if this is to convince him that they th th th th they they they they they they they they they they they're they're eating out of the dog bowl. Why? Why is she eating out of the dog bowl? I don't know if this is to convince him that they're teenagers or what. Oh, maybe. I do like that the dogs trying to eat out of the dog bowl. And she's like, no, actually. It literally has his name on it.

That's monkeys. That's dogs. Did you like monkey a lot? Oh my god it was so fucking adorable. Yeah. I mean I like oh sorry go ahead. I was just gonna say they're they're bred into have health problems but they're delightful looking dogs. What kind of dog is that? Uh, it's one of those like French bulldog type of dogs. Gotcha. I'm sure I'm wrong about that but it's of that ilk. Yeah, a rich person's yeah. A rich person's dog. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A the the the th. Yeah. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. th. th. th. they's they's they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they's they's they's they's they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. th. I th. thr thr thr thr thr-a. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they of how pug face they are. That sucks. Yeah, it's a bummer. I do like the egos immediately into yelling like a dad where he's like you have three minutes no get dressed now and I was like oh I yell at my kid like that. I'm going to count to three and if you are not in here we will not read books. One. One? What if you had said that to them?

So his wife facetimes him and he goes out in the yard and he's like, hey, everything's fine, everything's good, we're all good. And the girls... They're throwing fried eggs on the window behind him. I like that I told you this story, but not anybody else this story, so we're just going to keep saying throw a fried egg on it, and they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're, and they're, and they're, and they're, and they're, and they're, and they're, and they're, and they're they're going, and they're going, and they're going, and they're going, and they're they're going, and they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're, and they're, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, you this story, but not anybody else this story, so we're just going to keep saying throw a fried egg on it and they're going to know that it's a tit on a window. Do you think like Eli Roth was like one more time ladies, just smash them up there? Just smash them in there. I think he just loves tits on a window. You think he just loves a thing for him? Tits look much better when they're not on a window, I think. For sure.

Yeah, but they're funny when they are on a window. That's comedy. That's high comedy. Every time I've ever been flashed in my life in such a way has been funny that someone's smashing their boobs on a window. Na. So he hangs up with Karen and he tells him to get out. But they tell him that they're 15. In what world?

In what world? And his first line, his first reaction to that is, how could you be a flayed attendant if you're only 15? Which is like, there are scenes in this movie that are Too comedic to be in this movie and that is one of them Like I know Eli Roth also enjoys comedy. We've seen cabin fever. Sure, sure, but I could not tell when he was trying to turn it on and when he was try to turn it off in this movie because Keano Reeves is so hard to watch while doing this Oh, man, so hard to watch while doing this. Oh man, so while they're like being rowdy and telling him that they're underage, they're drawing dicks on his wife's art? Oh, it sucks. Which is like-

It's so stressful. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Probably the most, like when they're destroying the art is probably the most upsetting thing in this movie of really upsetting things.. I. I. I. I. I. Oh. Oh. Oh. I. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, oh, oh, thi, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, theeeeeeeeee. Oh, teeeee. Oh, teee. Oh, theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Oh, ththing in this movie of really upsetting things. I agree. That's when Vivian comes to check on him for the PT and all that jazz. I love Karen, I love her so much. How is she? Speaking like no one ever talks to anyone. I love her, She was so funny. This is upsetting. I'm here for a place of healing and this is upsetting. You have to live your life, but... I thought, I felt like she was, um, the party guy character from Cabin Feveer. It was played by Eli Roth where he's just like, hey guys, it's a party guys. Talk to her of being a dog. But yeah, so she's like talking to him and Genesis comes outside and says he doesn't want your fucking massage or whatever she says to the woman. Come back in, baby.

Ugh. And when he goes back inside there DJing on his records, he just calls 911 on his rotary phone. Because of course this mother fucker has a rotary phone. Can you even dial anything on a rotary phone anymore? I mean you'd have to be paying for a landline, which I guess you are. Sure. So you get, I'm going to get you a rotary phone. We'll hook it up and we'll see. I'm sure we have one in this house somewhere, but I don't think

like, I don't think like they match up to like the dial tones that need to happen on a push-like tone phone. You think it just wouldn't even work. I don't think so anymore. I think there was a point. They're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make they make like like like like digital they make like digital they make they make they make they make they make they make they make. I make. I make like digital. I make like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like. I make. I make. I make. I make. I make. They make. I make. I make. I make. I make. I make. I make. I make. I make. I make. I make. I make. I make. I make. I make. I. I make like. I. they make like. they make like. they make like. they make like. they make like. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. digitaler bought it from sharper image. Or that catalog that's always in the airplane seat. Sky Mall. I think they stopped making Skymall. Yeah, I think they don't put them in flights anymore. Everything we've lost in 2020. Skymall's gone. I know.

I will remember. Remember. No. Do you remember? So this is a weird thing that happens. He calls 911, the call goes through, but then she hangs up the phone. 911 calls back. But they don't call back in this movie. I don't know what they do.

As a kid who accidentally dialed on 911 one day. I'm sorry, as a person whose child keeps dialing 911 from her phone, they don't call you back. Okay. Okay. Maybe they're not going all the way through. My phone's really old, so I like usually hit and before we get anybody. Why do they? I understand why they make it so you can make an emergency call without unlocking your phone, but it's like the least child friendly thing ever. I don't know. I get it. It has to be that way, but like, come on. You're just going to get all these three-year-olds calling you. There should be an R-U-O-U-O-U-O-T-T-Tune button that pops up where you can tile. It was over 10, like old enough to call 911 to know what it means. So this dumb-dum is going to give them a ride home. Yeah. And he does. He does.

Except it's not. He somehow thinks that's going to be the end of it. I hate him so much. I do too. You have to work hard to make me hate Keanu Reeves, but they did it. I honestly thought that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th that th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th work hard to make me hate Keanu Reeves, but they did it. I honestly thought that this movie would bring you some amount of joy by seeing him, and I feel like it's actually done the opposite. Sure. By making it worse about him, yeah. But in the end, I'm just blaming Eli Roth, not Kiana. I mean, I'm blaming Kianna for being a terrible actor.

He's doing the best that he can. At one point he's in his house and the women are back and he's just going, oh my God. It was when he finds a broken picture. There's a broken picture frame. It's one of the many, many, many, many, many portraits of him and his family. And he picks it up and he goes, oh my god. Like, I can't even watch that. My first thought would be, oh man, the dog broke this fucking picture. Would it be after what happened the night before? Yeah, I wouldn't assume that they broke back into my house.

Well they did, and they put on his daughter's clothes. She is seven. So upsetting. Adult women cannot get into the clothes of a seven-year-old. She had like room in the sleeves too, it's just not real. The panties were the most upsetting bit of all. That's very upsetting. But also Keanu Reeves' daughter must have a big old ass if those panties are fitting her. We do get a long close-up of her ass though. The little girl? Not the little girl? No, no, no, no. The big old ass that you're referring though. Not the little girl? No, no, no, no, no, the big old ass you're referring to.

Oh, yeah. Because Genesis knocks him out and he wakes up tied to the bed, while Genesis is like putting on like, I don't know, dystopia makeup, Blake. It's very, um, Black Swan. Sure. Yeah.an. Sure. Have you said that movie? Yeah. And so Bell has told him that she loves him a bunch of times. And he's like, if you really love me, then untie me. And it's like, sir, she doesn't, where, maybe you're not getting this. He does not get it for most of the movie. No, he doesn't get it all the way up till the end of the movie.

I don't understand how that can be. He's a dumb, dumb, dummy. So it turns into this weird like stepfather role play, which I found repulsive and upsetting. And like tripling down on the sexual assault aspect of it, yeah. Yes, yes, they're assaulting him. Yeah. And filming, the the the the they're assaulting him. Yeah. And filming it. Yep. Oh, this I have the two notes I have during this scene are this is gross. I hate you, Eli Roth. So, Bell starts beating him, like, smacking him about the head. Yeah. And then like yelling at him and like asking him, she's saying, Daddy, why did you do this to me? It's really fucked up. And then they sexually assaulted him,

face-time it, or record it, and he's able to break free and hits her and she starts squealing like a puppy? Yes, it's very weird. She'd been barking before because um Genesis yells doggy style and she starts going, oh! Oh! That's... Which is not what doggy style and she starts going, Oh, oh, oh, that's one. Which is not what doggy style means to me. Doggy style means that you can both watch the Steelers game. That's where I was able to work it in. I wish I had just waited.

I like burned that joke a month ago. Fuck. I knew someday it was going to come up. I'm going to learn when not to blow my load. You could never have known that you would have to explain doggy style to Eli Roth. I guess when you're both watching the Steelers game. So Pittsburgh. So he gets into another fight with Genesis. He's choking her.

She stabs him in his surgery wound with a fork or whatever. With a Father's Day cake fork. That's right. He's going, he's going, my scar, my scar, my surgery. Like I don't need him to say that, we've established it. My scar, my scar, my surgery. You know what I just realized, is this his Nick Cage movie? I wrote, he's going into some Nick Cage shit right now.

Oh yeah. He definitely veers into Dick Cage territory, particularly like Wickerman, Nick Cage. For sure. Yeah. Another movie that hated women. True. So they start doing this game show where if he gets a question wrong, they like blow his ears out with headphones on. I love Bell's sparkly look. Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, gorgeous dress. Which I owned that dress. And had somewhere to go to wear it. So are they wearing all of his wife's wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii wi wi wi wi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. thi. I. thi. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th.that dress. And had somewhere to go to wear it. So, are they wearing all of his wife's clothes? I think so. Okay, so they didn't bring suitcases with them to this?

No, because when they're digging the grave later, she's like, your wife is going to have this dry cleaned. Oh, that's right. Because at the end, the end, the end, the end, the end, the end, the end, the end, thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, thrue, thi, thi, tho, thi, thi. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. they. thi. they's they's thi. thi. thi. So, the. So, the. thea. We's, thea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. We're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're thea. they're the right, because at the end they put back on their clothes and leave. That's right. Yeah, they're like, um, slutty teenage clothes. That's a mean thing to say, but don't cut it. So the doorbell rings during the game show, and it's Louis to pick up the art. Right.

And he's like, this isn't wrapped up, right? This isn't right. What's going on here? And Genesis like, oh, I'm a, I'm his niece and we're filming a music video here. He's like, oh yeah, you picked a great location. And I thought, is this what California is like? Would you just believe that? A hundred percent%. Yeah. And they steal Louis's inhaler out of his jacket. Because they see him hit it at one point. Yeah, because he's so upset about the art being sort of desecrated by them drawing tits and dicks all over it.

It's a real asshole move on their part. It really is. Go on. They have defaced every piece of art, every photo, everything in this house. They have gone hog wild. One thing I'll say for these women is that they have relentless energy. For sure. Yeah, I really could not bring myself to destroy. Just their energy for destruction is insane. I couldn't bring myself to do it. They're so tired. There should have been some scene where they were like the the they were like they were like they were like they were like they were like the they were like the they were like they were like the they were like their they were like their their they were like their their their their their their they were like their their for destruction is insane. I couldn't bring myself to do it. They're so tired.

There should have been some scene where they were like taking Adderall or doing cocaine or something. Because no one is that energetic. Yeah. Yeah. They steal his inhaler, he has an asthma attack, he's trying to get the inhaler back from them. Before this though, he finds Keanu Reeves tied up with a tarp over his head. Oh, that's right. It starts to like try to rescue him, but then he hears them hitting a statue with a hammer and he runs out to rescue the art, which he chooses over Keano's well, which at this point I will say,, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tie up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, thi.eeeeea, thi. thi in the middle with his inhaler. Yeah, so which at this point I will say just knock one of them down. Knock one of the people who is being an asshole to you down, get your fucking inhaler, hit your inhaler, call the police, call whoever you need to do.

You're an art guy, you probably got thugs, you know, invite some thugs over to take care of this. You think he has thugs? Oh, probably not, but you know, this is hopeful. Hopeful for Louis. Is that how asthma works? Like would you, if you couldn't get my emergency inhaler in my pocket. Yeah. Yeah. I like to recreationally use an inhaler because it makes me feel alive. Is that okay? You do what you got to do. Yeah. I use mine because it literally makes me feel alive. Yeah. I mean, it's, I'm sorry that I'm so cavalier about something that's saving your life. But also like, man, it just gives me a rush. It's one of those things where, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I'm sorry that I'm so cavalier about something that's saving your life, but also like, man, it just gives me a rush. It's one of those things where like, between my antidepressants and my inhaler, I'm like, oh, fuck if the apocalypse happens, I'm done so, like, if I can't get to a pharmacy? I didn't even think about an apocolus happening in me having Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, I'm going off my antidepressants starting tomorrow.

No! Thank you for talking me into it. Anyway, so Louis hits his head on the art because he lives by the art and dies by the art. Just like walk a flaca. their flakka. Oh, and they paper mishay Louis' corpse, Louis corpse painted and stick it in the back of the van like it's a replacement for the art that they ruined.

Do you think they already knew how to paper mache or do you think they Pinterest did it? Oh, they know how to paper mache? How do they know how to paper mache? I don't know how to paper mish. How do you do it? I've made Halloween. So like I said right now, can you just do it without looking it up? You could do it? For sure, flour and water. How much? What percentage is?

You just do it until it gets sticky. Yeah. Mm-hmm. It's just like making dough without like any, yeah. I can show you, you're gonna have to learn how to do it. Why? Your daughter is going to paper mishay stuff when you were a kid? I've never paper mishade a thing in my goddame life. All right I'm coming over we're doing paper mache. Okay, would you please I miss seeing you off a computer screen? Me too.

But I actually thought that was fun that they were like yeah we'll get away with this will be fine. Yeah, but they're like we'll send it to Ronnie he can make anything disappear and I was like, who the fuck is Ronnie? What are you talking about? Because they're putting it in the back of Louis's own van. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who are you talking to? Who are you talking about? I think it's supposed to give them this nefarious backstory, like, Ronnie is

probably their cleaner who takes care of all this shit for them. I mean, like, it's shocking to me that they've done this multiple times because they seem very bad at not leaving trace evidence. For sure. Yeah. Their DNA is all over that house. Especially if they're killing people, because by keeping the men alive, at least they're making something, you know what I mean? Yeah. But if they're actually murdering men, then like, that's a crime scene.

Someone's finding those bodies, you know? And they doesn't make any sense. They, as Evan sent Louis phone texts, saying that he fucked his wife. Right. And so they're putting the murder of Louis on Evan, who is Catarieves. Right, right, right, right, right, right, right. This which, his name being Evan, is a joke that pays off at the end and I shamefully lulled at it. So they have Keana tied up. Yeah. And they basically, the last question of the game show is like, the theyme show is like, thune.

He just says, it's like, death, death, you're going to kill me, you're going to fucking kill me. Oh, you're going to kill me. You're going to kill me. Why, you fucking crazy bitches? You're going to, and it's like, oh, now you are Nick Cage. It was like upsetting for me to do? It was free pizza. Show it up my door, free pizza, what am I gonna do?

You're like, oh my god. So this is where you're supposed to be like, oh, well, he's a terrible human being as well. Like, it's hard for me to understand whether the movie wants me to feel sympathetic for him or not, because it is a bit of, I don't want to say it's a gray area. Cheating on your spouse is not a gray area. Sure. But he's assaulted. Like, he is forced into doing something he doesn't want to do.

And like, what woman can't relate to that? Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a fucked up situation all around like This this whole thing feels I mean it it makes sense that it's a remake of a 70s movie because it feels like a very 70s conceit of a movie and I think Eli Roth like I also enjoy fucking weird gross 70 cinema but I don't think you have to keep making those movies in 2015.

No, there's other things you can do. There's a lot of other things you can do. Yeah, just because th it it it it it it it it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it th sense, it makes th sense, it makes th sense, it makes th th th th th th th th th th sense sense sense sense sense it makes it makes it makes it th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th sense sense sense, it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it makes it think you have to keep making those movies in 2015. No, there's other things you can do. There's a lot of other things you do. Yeah, yeah. Just because you like a thing doesn't mean that thing has to keep being part of your like artistic output. Yeah, you can just like it from a far by watching it. Yeah. I do like when they give him bangs. Yeah, there's this whole thing earlier on the movie who's like, I'm not cutting my hair to his wife. I love it.

Oh, you look so hot with short hair. Oh, I don't look hot now. I don't look hot now. I don't look hot now. Also, I also thought it was kind of funny that the women that Bell and Genesis were like, you being extremely buff. And will be in a few years for other movies. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. His short hair, of course, he does. His short hair, today. They give him a bowl and teds hair cut. It's so funny. He looks cute, though. Of course he does. They basically give him his bill and to head their it is his bill and teds haircut, you're so right. And then they break a vase and find the gun.

Right. And why did he not go for that maybe yesterday? Well, he's been trying ever since he's been tied up in the chair. He was hitting the bookcase trying to break that vase. No, I'm sorry. At the point in which th th th th th th, th th thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the the the they they're, they're, they're, they they the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, and their, and their, and they they's, and they's, and they's, and they they they they they th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thease. thean. theanan. thean. thean. thean. thea. thea. thease thease, thease, the. they're they thease, threatening you, if you have a gun in your house, why are you not going for it? I understand that they wanted to hide a gun because they have two young children in the house. Perfect sense. Oh sure, sure, sure, sure. But in hiding a gun, part of hiding that gun is that you have to smash a thing to get

to that gun, you are hiding it incorrectly. It's extremely piggy bank that, like that, like that, like that, like that, like that, like that, like that, like that, like, like, like that, like, that, that that that that that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a thogogogic, thick, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi bank that could go off when you have to throw it on the ground? Oh yeah, that's a good point. Like you're not just going to crack that thing like a little egg where you're trying to keep the yoke intact. Just tapping it with a spoon. Seriously, why did he never go for that gun earlier? Who knows? I don't know? And so they're they they they they they they they they they're they they're they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like play hide and seek, which seems like a great opportunity for him to escape. Yeah, but if he runs, they'll shoot him.

But he has 30 seconds and there are many doors apparently to this home. Yeah, but if he runs, they'll shoot him. I don't know. It just seems like they might not be, I think I would take my, I would take my chances on, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, the chances, my, my, my, my, my, the chances, the chances, my, their, my, my, their, their, their, their, thi, th probably have a better idea of the terrain around where you could run to. Absolutely. You know, if you just run into your courtyard and jump a fence, you're on the other side of a wall, you have cover, right? Yeah. He does not do that. He just stumbles into the kitchen and sits there like a dupist who's actually playing hide and see. I do like that. the dog's too fuzz. a pot and I was like, oh, what are you doing with a pot? He gave the dog water. I appreciated that.

Oh, did he? He didn't notice that? For that poor dog, has just been living in that laundry room. I know. A little guy probably has to go potty. While he's running in that scene, you can see that on one of one of the portraits of the portraits of the portraits of the portraits of the portraits of the portraits of the portraits of the portraits the portraits the portraits the portraits the portraits the portraits the portraits the portraits the portraits the portraits the portraits the portraits the portraits the portraits the portraits the portraits the portraits the portraits th of th of thoes that. AIDS now, which I thought was so fucking funny. It's so fucking stupid. Oh, it's so, like, just so weird. They've written shit art all over her art.

And art does not exist. It's just like so young 20s, like, I'm subversive shit. It's great. It's great. Oh my God. So we've seen them and dig a grave in the backyard. It's already been dug. It's now daylight. They tell them they're gonna execute him at dawn. It is now dawn.

And so they take him outside and roll him towards the grave, which is also a very funny scene. He started up with a hose on a trolley that they're pushing him around on a handcart. They dump him to the ground and just keep rolling him towards closer and closer to the grave, which I thought was very funny. With him yelling the whole time, no, no. And they're like, no one's home, we've checked every house. I don't believe that for a second.

First of all, they checked those houses two days ago. And second, like nobody works at any of these houses. These are rich people. They don't have gardeners, landscapers, like pool boys. Someone will hear you scream. You're in a fairly densely populated suburb. It's just so dumb. It's like so incredibly stupid. So they hide him, like they bury him up to his head, and then they're like, all right, we'll give you one last shot, you can call your wife.

He's, when it cuts to them, so they start burying him and then his buried body and unburied head is so fu fucking funny I couldn't handle it...... he, their, their, their, their, their, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. thi, th. So, th. thi, thi, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii's they. So, their, thi. So, their head is so fucking funny I couldn't handle it. And they don't actually let him leave a voicemail, which is fun, because he has to leave a voicemail explaining what he's done. And but instead he goes, call 9-1-1-1, call 9-1-1! And they fake out killing him with like this big stone thing. But not before they t killing him with like this big stone thing. But not before they tell the joke. Knock knock. Who's there?

Evan. Evan who? Eventually cheating will kill you. Jesus Christ. I lulled. And then I was like, how dare you, Eli Roth? So he has made a cardinal mistake and left himself logged into Facebook on his phone. How is that a cardinal mistake? It's your own fucking phone. If you're going to be this much of a grosso, you gotta log out of Facebook.

I guess. And they post the video on his phone that says like, Happy Father's Day in the Celebrating Father's Day, yeah, and it's him fucking this woman, but he's also being assaulted, but it doesn't look like it. And the comments are, is this a joke? Yeah, someone says, ah, my kids can see this. Why? Why are your kids friends with Keanu Reeves? Are you looking at this on the TV? Like, what's the time? He's just going, no, oh no, oh no. It's so silly.

And when he's trying to, he gets like a finger free and he's trying to delete the video and like there's two buttons, one says delete and the other one says like, and he likes the video on accident. And then he knocks the phone over and he's just there buried in the backyard while these women steal his dog to where is my mind and then leave. And the kids come home. And the little boy says, they look around at everything fucking destroyed in their house.

Yeah. And the little boy says, daddy had a party. Cut to credits. Yeah. Go back to where is my mind because we paid for that. Oh, yeah. Great song. Great song. Oh, phenomenal song to where is my mind because we paid for that. Oh yeah. Great song, great song. Oh phenomenal song. What is it doing in this shit-ass film? I feel like that movie only turns up in shit-ass movies. It's true it's such a good song though. Yeah. It's just it's in your Fight Club, your favorite. Such a shit-ass movie? Oh, Katie. You want to rate this mothick-fett-it-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f, th-f, th-f, th-f, th-f, th-f, th-f, th-f, to-up-f, th-up-f, to-f, th-f, th-f, to-f, to-f, th-f, th-f, th-f, th-fen, th-f, th-f, phenomenal. Oh, th-f, th-f, th-f, th-f, th-f, th-f, th-f, th-f, th-f, th-f, th-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-ffffffnoer-fnoer-fen-fenenomenee-fenomomomome-fenome. Oh, phenomenal, phenomenal song-fenomomom movie. Oh, Katie Alan. You want to rate this mothfucker? Yeah, let's do it. All right. Go.

Oh, it's horrible. Knock knock. Who's there? Two? Two. Two? Two? You think I'm going to give this movie a two? No, I'm giving it a one. It's really bad. Oh, boom! Yeah, it's horrible. It's really bad. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. to to to to to too. too. tooooo. toeea. too. toooooooooooooooooooo. tha. tha. to give this movie a two, no I'm giving it a one, it's really bad. Oh, boom! Yeah, it's horrible. It's really bad.

I don't understand what the message is that it's trying to get across. I don't understand why these characters are doing the things they do. I don't understand if it's making light of sexual assault understand what it's trying to do or why it's trying to do it. Yeah, I don't think it's trying to do anything other than be upsetting. Okay. I think that's for me like I don't- That's the hostile thing. Yeah, yeah, I don't think there's anything about it, but like this is supposed to be tee-he funny because tea-he. I mean I'm mad that I laughed at that eventually cheating will get you killed joke but. You know you can't you can't stop what you're gonna laugh at, you can't choose. Like are they just renegade like moral police because they kill Louis without a second thought? I mean they don't kill him but they don't they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their th try try the try the the the the the the to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to they kill Louis without a second thought.

I mean, they don't kill him, but they don't care that they've caused his death. They reminded me of those, like, to catch a predator people, that like pretend to be children online to try and catch people. But like, are like freelance doing it? Oh, not Chris Hanson, you mean? Exactly. Like when Joey Greco got stabbed on the set of cheaters? Yes, like that. And they aired the episode anyway, which is fucking phenomenal on their parts, honestly. Why wouldn't you? Because you don't know what I'm talking about, just Google, Joey Greco stabbed, cheaters. Great. I think a one is pretty generous, but I will go with a one. It is

a film. It does have a beginning, middle, and end. And the women in it seems like they're having a ton of fun. And they're fine actor. I think they're acting is great. I think they're easy to watch and like enjoyable to watch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's not a like, yeah. And even, even Kianos, a delight. their. their. their. their. their. their, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's not a like, yeah, yeah. And even I mean even Kianos a delight. No, he's not. I have to say he is absolutely not. I don't love him the way you do, which you know, might be coloring your vision more than mine, but he's terrible in this movie. He's really difficult to watch. He's really wouldn't and just like, yeah, no, it's a bad scene. And it's a th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's not. No, he's not. No, he's not. No. No, he's not. No, he's not. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. I I I I I I I I I's not. I's not. I's not. I's not. I's not. I's not. I's not. I he he he he he's not. I he's not. I he's not. I he's not. I he's not. I he's not. I he's not. I he's not. I he's not. I he's not. I he's not. I to sympathize with him or not. For sure. Yeah. I don't know. What are you going to do, Katie? I'm not going to watch Knock-knock ever again.

I'll tell you that much. I don't think I'm going to watch an other Eli Roth movie. I think I'm done. I think I'm done with Eli Roth. Well, there's plenty of other movies in the world. Would you watch Cabin Fever again? I don't know. I don't really need to. That was kind of fun. I've seen it twice now.

Yeah. I'm just looking up everything Eli Roth has done to make sure that we're not missing anything good. Oh, he remade Citizen King. You know I don't like Citizen Kane. What else has he done? He did ET2. Clown? 2014's clown? Have you seen that? No, no, no. No, it's not. I'm good. A loving father becomes a savage killer while wearing a cursed clown costume that won't come off. Okay, so he has a thing with loving fathers, and also it sounds like maybe that Santa Claus movie with Tim Allen. Wait, do you think he has a thing for that, too?

I think so. That's why the clown costume won't come off. What do you want to do next week? Can we do something more fun? I want to revisit a decade that we always have joy in, the 90 the 90, the 90, the 90, the 90, to to to to to revisit, to revisit, to revisit, to revisit, to revisit, to revisit, to revisit, to revisit, to revisit, to revisit, to revisit, to revisit, to revisit, to revisit, to revisit, to to to thi, to to revisit, to to to to to to to to to to to to to, to, to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to tho, tho, thi.., thi., thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi.a, thi.a, thiiiii.a, thiiiii.a, thiii.a, tooooooomooomorrow, to to thi that we always have joy in. The 90s. Yes. Let's do idle hands. I have shockingly never seen idle hands. I am blown away by that fact. I know.

And it's just it's time. It's time for me. I think so. It's a new year. I mean, we're still recording this one in the old year. 1230, 20, babies. This will come out well, not well into, but into the next year. Yeah. But we're going to give ourselves a little bit of a reprieve from watching terrible movies and

watch a potentially terrible fun movie. I was going to say, I don't think I don't think I don't hands is a great film. so get that's Seth Green. It th. It th. It th th th th th th th th th th th th thi the the the. It's the. It's the. It's got Seth Green. It's got Seth Green. It's got Seth Green. It's got Seth. the' the' the' thi. the. theat the' the' the. the. the. the. th th th th the. the. the. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thean. to to to to to thean. to to to toean. toean. toean. toean. thean. thean. thean. Well, do love him. I know. Yeah. And it's got Stan in it. Stan. Devon Sawa. Oh right. We've already talked about this tonight. What am I doing? F. All right. And I promise to get better about emailing people with the Patreon stuff. That's one of, that's my New Year's resolution is to be better about that stuff. Great. So I will get better with that and get in touch with you all soon. Is that it?

Get at us on the internet, buy stuff? Patreon. that's where theyons. We don't care if We're here for you. We'll be free until one of us is dead. Or it stops being fun. What? There's a new caveat. Even the goalposts, baby. If you're so inclined, if you could leave us a review on iTunes, it does help people find

us. Or where's some nice ones lately, which I really appreciate. Yeah. Yeah. Wherever you can find to leave a review, it doesn't have to be iTunes. Someone came down about our theme song and I wanted to be like, it changes later, just like get past episode 250 or something. Also, just because it's not for you doesn't mean it's bad, buddy. Yeah, Alan made that song, so go fuck yourself. No, just kidding. You're fine. Also, they're going to hear this probably like a year after they wrote that review. They must be pretty far back. Just wait until that new song comes at the end. You're gonna be fucking stoked.

It's so good. Oh my god, it's so great. And thanks for listening to another episode of Whe Ambulance. Bye. Bye. Who? At the pool. No we do in Finland's to fulfill reviews. Killing clouds and let the face. Can him live in outer space? Appearance of gas in case. Please make I continue the grave. EFT. Morrow and comedy reviews.

H.R.R. From Wayne's and Stephen King. E.T. We live deliciously. Henry Bryan from Wayne's and Stephen King. EFT. We live deliciously by temperatures, O'Bees crazily come to Daddy. A pair of novel activities from Mr. Patrick's city. EFT, EFT. EFT.