Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 321- Nine Lives (2002)

Episode Date: February 22, 2021

In this week's episode, we increase Paris Hilton's appearances on Werewolf Ambulance by 100%-- no, it's not "The Hottie and the Nottie," though honestly I kinda wish it was-- it's 2002's "Nine Lives." It's bad, and it's not even really Paris's fault. Is it about cats? It is not. Special topics for your consideration include: a spot-on portrayal of an American and a spot-off portrayal of actual snow, a deeply terrible explanation of existentialism, being the "most likely to murder" friend, our fundamental lack of understanding around the metric system and Tim? Tom? No, it's Tim. Want to see more Paris in your life? Probably not but Episode 118- "House of Wax" also has Jared Padalecki, so there's that. You could also get a little Scottish with Episode 116- "The Descent," Episode 187- "Dog Soldiers" and Episode 271- "The Wicker Man." And, screw it, the Nic Cage "The Wicker Man" remake is one of our all-time favorite episodes-- it's number 108. If you've been on the fence about supporting us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance, please know that we just recorded "The Dark Knight Rises" for our action movie side podcast, and it was extremely fun. Find us online: Buy merch for yourself or those you love at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance on Twitter @werebulance on Instagram @werewolfambulance. [e-mail] If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. Someday we're gonna be #1 in Finland. Some sweet day. Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down. Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast.  

K. Kagan. I think it's really unfair. I think. I think. I think. I. K.

I think. I think it's really unfair in our friendship that you just said something nice about my hair after I made fun of yours so strenuously. I think the fact that your hair looks gorgeous right now and I am currently wearing a pony nub on top of my head that I had to put the headphones behind. Yeah, it looks like they're propping it up. When Alan answered the zoom call, I tho, oh no, he, after, after, after, the their their their their their their tho, their thi, thi, thi, thi had to put the headphones behind. Yeah, that looks like they're propping it up. When Alan answered the zoom call, I thought, oh no, he cut his own hair badly.

No, it's a pony nap. Point one, I'm really good at cutting my own hair. I've been doing it for 25 years. Two, yeah, I was doing housework all morning, so you're getting me at my pony nub, I apologize. Pony no. Hi guys, how are you? This is a horror movie podcast. This is a horrible haircut.

I mean, I wasn't going to say it was a horrible haircut. I just felt bad for you for a minute. You should know that I would never go out of the house, toobey. I believe that wholeheartedly. But like now who's going out to the house anyway? It's true just me a pony-dove hanging out around the crib. Hanging out around the crib watching the film? Hard quotes. Hard quotes film from 2002, nine lives. I... Is it about cats? It's not about cats even even if you read the Amazon reviews, which are all about cats. I am still blown away that the name Paris Hilton's enough to carry a movie. I mean, 2002 is Paris Hilton's heyday.

She's on the simple life. She's like a brand. She's on the Simple Life, she's like a brand, she's everywhere at this point. Yeah. Oh that brings up something interesting too. Can celebrities stop doing podcasts? Just across the board? Just leave it to us normal, regular people. Oh I see. I see that they got a modicum of success. I'll just come in here and crush everything. Yeah, I'll get a million listeners on my first day because I'm already famous. Yeah, there's, I heard a statistic the other day that there's something like

a hundred thousand new podcasts have started since quarantine. Wow. And I was like, oh, that's why our numbers are all fucked up. Yeah. Because there's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's. Yeah. Because there's a but billion more people doing this now. Well, I'd say we got in early, but 2014 isn't even really early, is it? No, we've just been doing it for a long time. Yeah. Well, who cares? We're so cool. It's true. But Paris Hilton? Uh, yeah. I mean, stay out of the podcasting game, but stay in movies because you are a delight.

She, I don't even want to call what she did in this movie acting. I think a lot of what she did in this movie is turning her head all the way back and forth, like one of those god-dam owls. And just like, giving it her all to not look directly into camera. Like she's working so hard to not look at the camera. You can see the effort. I'm so surprised that her character is not named Paris. For her to be able to like respond to cues, you mean?

Yeah. Well, like, this movie, the pacing is very weird because she dies first and it's obviously because she's doing such a poor job of being in the movie. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that happens like 20 minutes into the movie. Like they had to start the killings because they could do nothing else with Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris. the the the the the the the the their their their their their their th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the th. I I I, the th. I I, the the the thi, thi. I I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, thi, thi. I thi. I'm, I'm thi. I'm toeea. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I had to start the killings because they could do nothing else with Paris Hildon. She's giving us Lindsay Lohan and whatever the fuck that werewolf movie was, but not giving us Lindsay Lohan, like, Lindsay Lohan, like phoning it in is still thoroughly enjoyable. See, I find Paris Hilden wholly enjoyable. I love her in some stupid way.

Like just there's a scene at the beginning when they all walk into this enormous mansion and she just goes, it's smaller than I thought. And it's like, that's just her like dead pan delivery of things. It tickles me for some reason. I mean, I've always thought this about her. She's nowhere near as dumb as she plays. Oh, no way. She wouldn't have made such a fucking name for herself if she was, yeah. And like, I love that she's playing on that and has made a fortune off of that. That's really interesting. I mean, made a fortune on top of a fortune. Yeah. But whenever I think of her, all I can think of her, all I can think of her, all I can think that that that that th, th, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thu s s s s' thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu. Yeah, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu. Yeah, thu. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. Yeah, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. Yeah, thi, thi. Yeah, thi, thi and I was just like, oh yeah, no. I don't know. I don't love that, Paris Hilton. I love this Paris Hilton who is

literally just supposed to be an American. Like she's wearing like a valour jump suit. She is just like America. Yeah, she's just jump suit and boobs out and it's just like, yeah, you're American. Yep, and like a babushka for some reason. And what is her relationship to to to to th. Yeah?? to their to their to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I to to to to to that th. I that to that's that that that that that that that that that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't to th. I don't to to to to th. I don't to th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't ushka for some reason. And what is her relationship to the other people that are, did she also go to Oxford or Cambridge or wherever they all went? I think so. Okay. Because it sounds like she has dated other ones of them. Right.

And she'd been with this guy for three years, she says. Which I found hard to believe Paris Hilton was in a long a long long long anyone, but... So, yes, she did. She went to school with these people. Okay. Also, her being American really fucks the end of this movie, and it's just completely not addressed, so... This is a movie that does not bother tying up any loose ends. This is a movie that isn't even aware it has

loose ends. This is a movie. One of my first notes is these 90s credits are doing some heavy lifting. You think so? Because they were all all the, well was it all the E's or all the G's in people's names were nines Oh God, I didn't notice And they were like in that they're all in that like seven like squiggly scraggaly font like the drippy font. Yeah, yeah, scriggle is crazy. It's so dangerous But it's just a shame that there's no g in the words nine lives so we can work it in, you know? I'm surprised he just didn't cram it in there somewhere. The nine. So we opened on a woman running with a knife yelling, I killed him.

Oh, okay. Did you miss that part? Might have I've seen this movie before. This is not the first time I've seen it. And then cut to three black cars driving up to a mansion. Right. And Paris Silton saying things like, all this countryside, it isn't good for you, you know. Like, I agree with and love her for. I only feel comfortable in Paris, New York, and then together with her friend LA

Sheesh They're in this this manner this countryside manner which is owned by I guess the family of Tim Not Tom no Tim not Tom who is celebrating his birthday. His 21st birthday, which had me yell, Fuck You movie. What? 21? That guy looks my age. They said it, maybe it was a joke.

It was like a, oh, it's his 21st again or something like that, but like... Ew. I just said, in what world is this his 21st birthday? And this is a British film, so everybody even looks a bit older? Because they somehow looked older at that time in the UK. I don't know if it was the air quality or what. It's so fucking 1990s. It's so, the insanely 1990s. It is. And they just don't even bother like doing anything for an American audience where they're like, yeah, there's going to be 70 centimeters of snow and I'm like, fucking have no idea. I went to public school in America. I have literally no idea. I was like, what is that? Like three inches? I don't know what that is. It's 27 inches. It is not 27 inches. It is really? Yeah, that's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. I. It's. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th is. I th is. I th. I th. I is. I is. I is. I is. I is. I is. I is. I is. I is. I is. I is. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. It is. It is. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. It's th. is that, like three inches? I don't know what that is. It's 27 inches. It is not 27 inches. Is it really?

Yeah, that's what it is. 70 centimeters is 27 inches. That's what the internet tell me, it could be lying. Fuck, no, I believe Google. 27.59. That's a lot of snow. That's a inches of snow. You can't miss Tim Not Tom's birthday, though.

I mean, but maybe Tim Not Tom should cancel his birthday or warn people that there's going to be 70 centimeters of snow. Listen, Tim Not Tom has to get into the bourbon, or whatever he's drinking. Tim Not Tom looks like Nathan Fielder. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. Is that his name? Fuck now, I don't know.

The comedian? Yes. Yes, I think that's the name. OK, I just had a brief moment where I was like, oh no, that's the firefly guy, but that's Nathan Fillion. He does, for sure. Canadian writer, comedian, actor, and entrepreneur. Nathan. Entrepreneur. I feel like that's just the title you give yourself.

Oh yeah, anyone can be an entrepreneur. It's just hard to say. That's Bill and Ted throw an Esquire after their name. That's right. So we meet the other people. I wrote a note about that just says, I really believe that these people have relationships. I don't.

These people had never met before the day they started filming this. Oh for sure. Oh, 100%. Yeah. And then they started filming. And then they kept all of their shots. Like, it's literally the first time any of these people have set eyes on each other, and they printed it.. th. th. th. th, and th, and th, and th, I.. they they they th said, I they they they th said, I th said, I th said, I th said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, and then they started filming, and then they kept all of their shots. Like, it's literally the first time any of these people have set eyes on each other, and they printed it. I'm also blown away that no one's like, Hey, Laura, hey Andy, hey Damien,

when people walk into a room, so that later when they're like, oh no, what's up with Damian? Who the fuck is Damian? Damian is notable only that they tell us like four times that he has some type of corrective lenses before it becomes a plot point? Yeah. He's like, gotta go pop my contacts out and you're like, okay. That thing no one says. Yeah. Also, I wear contacts. I just never speak of them. Shh. And then like the first, I don't know, 15 minutes of the movie is just them having deeply boring conversations at the dinner table. Uh-huh. I watched this movie a couple days ago. I do not remember what any of the conversations were about.

And I don't think it matters. I thought all of them were about, I want to say, Tom getting there late. No, that's not Tom. Tom, by the way, is played by Lex Schrapnel, which is my new favorite name. Oh my God. That's a name you make up as like a player in a video game. Like, I don't know if you get a name and like Call of Duty, but if you do, it should be Lex Trapnel. Somebody has Bob Huge Body. Like, I don't know if you get a name and like call of duty, but if you do, it should be Lex Trappnel. Somebody has Bob Huge Body, so I'll go with Lex Chrapnel.

Maybe they're waiting for Tim to get there, because he, everybody else flew up? No, it's Tim's Party. It's Tim's Party. Maybe they're waiting for somebody, Pete, Pete, Pete. They're waiting for Pete's head is enormous on his body. I I I I I I I I I I I I. to to to to to to to to to to be. to be. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. the the their. their. their. their. their their their the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. theat the. to to the. to to to, I don't know what to say about it. I think that's all you can say about it. Yeah. You gotta acknowledge it and move on. And Pete, when we meet him is Scottish and the rest are English, and this matters, I guess. Because they're in Scotts.

Yes, it does. Now I see why you, yes, you're right, it does totally discredit this entire film. The entire film. Well, unless it was like being hugely xenophobic. I mean, unless she was not meant to be an American. But that cannot possibly be because she's wearing like literally a juicy kouture suit. And she only feels at home in LA. LA. You can't say that without sticking your tongue out, like a Budweiser, what's up?

Broke. Also, there's just like, there's like a random butler that's in one scene and I was just like, who is he? Why is he? Where is he? I wondered what happened to the staff after this all sort of shook out. So Tim finds a book? No, Tom finds Tim's family's book. Yeah, Tim not Tom. Tom not Tim.

Why? Call one of them, Brian. Call him Timido. Call them anything. Tim and Timino. They might as well have had six characters named Tim. It just had me working out. I mean, that's what they did with all these blonde women. There were just a series of blonde women.

Who may have just been one woman? I don't know. Now I'm trying to think back how many of them were actually blonde women. And I don't know if I'm counting two or three three three three them were actually blonde women and I don't know if I'm counting two or three. There's the one woman I believe is Laura who has amazing hair. Laura's amazing. Laura, yes, is Laura the one who like immediately believes everything? Yeah, yeah, yeah, and she's like down to murder. She's the dark-haired woman. Yes. I dressed exactly like that in the year 2002. It was like long-sleeved shirt under t-shirt and a pair of gray, low-rise, super-flared

pants. That was a good look. Just to get a hint of tummy every once in a while. Just a tummy hint. Yep. Yep. I've recently brought the long-sleeveshirt under regular t-shirt back into my wardrobe. I see I never left. Okay, okay.

I've kept it there because like, fuck it. You want sometimes you want to wear this t-shirt but it's cold outside. Yeah, layering. It's all about layering. Okay, so that's Laura. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Then there's also Lucy. Now, which one is she? She's the one who spends the second the second and third act laying on the couch. Oh right right right right

right. She has the bonkers eyebrows I'm sorry it's 2002 but they're bonkers. She's the one who's romantically involved with nobody right? No I thought Damian was real into her. I don't know. He's the one with the glasses situation, right? No, not Damian. It's the one who's a... The shitty doctor, Andy. Andy, thank you. God, he is not cut out for this. Being a doctor. I thought you meant for being an actor. Oh, fuck. Or. And then there's Paris Hilton who is Joe. Joe yeah. And then there's another woman right? Emma. Emma. Which one is Emma? Is she a blonde woman? Okay the idea I don't remember her at all. She has been completely erased her mind. I looked at my notes and I was like,

hmm wonder who you are, Emma? I clicked on her Wikipedia page and there's not a photo of her, which means I will now never know who she is in this movie. Speaking of, there's also on both Wikipedia and IMDB, it says that the director of Atomic Blonde, David Leach plays Paul in this movie, and I can not find a p-m. I can't find th th th th th th th th that the director of Atomic Blonde, David Leach, plays Paul in this movie, and I cannot find a Paul in this movie. Paul? Who is Paul? Does someone call the phone? Does someone call the phone?

He's like, hey, it's Paul. I don't, I genuinely have no idea. I didn't think, maybe, was he the butler? No, because he's young, he's a young dude. He would. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He would, he would, he would, he would, he would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would th. He. He. He. He would would would would would would, he, he, he. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He would. He would. He would. He would. He would. He would the the the the th. He would would't think, maybe, was he the butler? No, because he's young, he's a young dude, he would have been a very young dude at this point, yeah. I can't remember what the butler looks like. Was it an old guy? Yeah, probably my age. But it was in 2002, UK time, so like definitely looked older. Sure, in that pony nub that he had was perfectly able to fit it in 2002. Yeah, nobody was rocking that pony nub in no too. Anyway, so there's Snowden.

Is that everybody? Do we talk about them all? Who cares? Joe, Pete is the only one who has a last name of the credits, by the way. Oh, because they had to give him a Scottish name. Oh, for fuck sake. Gregor. Laura, Andy, Damien, Lucy, Tim, Emma, and Tom. Pete McGregor. I'm sorry, it's the only accent I've got.

I have a feeling it would Peter out after a while if we really tried to stick with it too. Peter McGregor. It started going Russian. It started going Russian. It's not great. I'll just end up being a yinzer. Oh no, Kogos. So yeah, they're all like hanging out and drinking and smoking a lot of cigarettes

indoors. Oh, fuck in 2002, I loved smoking inside. I miss it so much. Oh, as soon as I stopped smoking to the toa. Oh, no, why did I do this inside? What was I thinking? Yeah, I don't know. By the way, I quit smoking again.

I just want to let everybody know. I quit smoking again. Congratulations. Thank you. If you need any support, I'm here for you. It's only been two weeks. There's a single Parliament light 100 in my kitchen drawer if I need it, but otherwise I've quit smoking again. I haven't smoked in almost eight years. Let's break that streak. No, I'm good. I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm th, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've thing. I'm thing. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm just thi, I'm just thi, I'm just thi, I'm just thi. I'm just thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. Congratulations, I'm thi. I'm thi. Congratulations, I'm thi. Congratulations, I'm th. Let's break that streak.

No, I'm good. I'm just gonna come in and smoke in your house. Is that okay? Just standing outside of my house holding up a Parliament 100 like it's a boombox. It's somehow playing Peter Gabriel. What are we doing? I don't know. These daytime recordings always fuck us up because we're just like, let's chat.

All right, anyway, Tom somehow pulls a bookshelf off the wall. How? I don't know. He seems to be a dunderhead. He's absolutely a dunderhead. But it's just like he happens to pull a shelf off a wall and it happens to create a hole just where there happens to be a book on the family history of the people who owned this this man's? Oh the Murray's? Yeah. The Murray's. I don't know. There's an A at the end of, so I want to pronounce it. I want to give it this too. There. There.

And the book unleashes a ghost that gives everybody no eyes. Right. Right. So, I think if that hadn't been revealed here, this movie could have been a lot more interesting. Because like Tom reads the book and then turns around and his eyes are gone. And there's like something in the book about the writer of the book, they had gouged his eyes out or something. I don't know. I like kind of wasn't really listening. There's all those cool woodcuts of gouging people's eyes out though. Yeah, okay. Hey, Anso.

Look at that Enzo. He's so chubby. He's such a little chunky boy. Did you come on chubby? Yeah, I haven't seen him in a while. Oh my god, he's body shaming you. I am not. I am also chubby, Enzo. Let's this. Pandemic's been hard on everybody. It's true.

It's been no different for Enzo, I don't know what I mean by that. Oh, thank you very much to the listener who reached out with information about, and a request to be contacted about cat stuff. That was really kind. Yes, and thank you for reminding me because I'm going to email that person this week. So if that person, if you haven't heard from me by the time this episode comes out, please drop that's another line because I'm overwhelmed. It's tax season. Anyway. Yeah, yeah, for sure. So I don't know. Paris Hilton and her boyfriend get into a fight where she's like, first, you never buy me any presents, which I loved. I had the opposite reaction to that. You didn't like that? I thought that was very funny.

And he was like, but I just bought you that palm pilot or whatever he came her. Right. Your palm pilot, I had a palm pilot. Did you? I'm a very organized person. And she was like, I just use it as a diary to note that you don't give me any presents. And then she took back the one that she bought for herself because he bought her one. She also brags about going shopping on like three different continents in one day or something.

Like it's just redonculus. I love her playing like a terrible stereotype of herself. I think that's very self-aware and very cheeky. Sure, and that's kind of what she did in a house of wax too. Right. She knows what she is and she owns it, so. Yeah, for sure. Why am I always defending Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton? What is wrong with me? You've got that backpiece of the two of them shaking hands.

You're wrong. That's Katie Perry and Taylor Swift, but I will let you, I will let it slide this time. I hope they can find it within their hearts to become friends again. They are, they did. They're friends again. Okay. I didn't know if they were friends. I their their their their their their their their their their their they're they're their. they're they're they're they're they're their. I. I. I their their to to set. I to to their to to to to to their. I to to to to to to to to to to to their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I. I. to. I. I. I. I. I. I. I to. I to. I to. I to. I. I to. I to. I to. I to. I to. I to. I to. I to. I to. I to. I th. I'm. I'm. They are, they did, they're friends again. Okay. Yeah, I didn't know if they were friends or not. I set up my, the fact that I don't know shit about shit. Okay, well, when we hang up, listen to the Taylor Swift song, Bad Blood, which is about her feud with Katie Perry. Okay, and now just know that they're back together. I can assure you that I will not listen to that. Could you just just th you just th you just that I that I that I th. I that I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'll just thi. I'm th. I'll that I'll that I'll that I'll that I'll that I'll that I'll that I'll that I that I'll that I that I'll that I'll that I'll that I'll that I'll that I'll that I that I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the th. I'll the the th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. theat. theat. theat. I'm the. I'm theat. I'm the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll thethat I will not listen to that. Could you just? I'm trying to keep my streak of never hearing Taylor Swift. You have definitely heard Taylor Swift, you've been inside a target. Anyway. Wow.

I don't know. I have just, I have a billion notes in there all just like, Why are you just wetting down your hair? Who does that? 2002 you got to react to me the gel Is that a thing? Oh for sure. Yeah. All right. So this is Tom we're talking about he's in this bathroom that has like a very menacing aura compared to the rest of the house. The rest of the house is like white and with dark wood trim and looking, you know, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there's, there's, there's like, there's like, there's like, there's like, there's like, there's like, there's like, there's like, there's like, there's like, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the. the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, the, the, the, theat, theat, theat, theat, the. theeeeeeat. the. the. the. the. the rest of the house. The rest of the house is like white, it was like dark wood trim and looking, you know, there's like a lot of like walnut shelves and green carpeting and then this bathroom is just like red and black and like a portal to hell for some reason. And there's a three mirror in it, like a triptych of mirrors, which I think I would hate. Really? Well, I only know what I look like from this angle, straight on.

Anything else I just think could be shocking to me to have to see it. You've never turned sideways and looked at yourself in a mirror? Well, when you're turning sideways you can't really see anymore. See, it's gone. Also, my eyes are very close together. And I wear horse blinders. Oh yeah, I should have mentioned that. I liked it quotes when Tom walks into the bathroom, it looks in the mirror and there's like a CGI ghost in the mirror behind him for the splitest of seconds, and it looks like it's wearing a fright wig.

That's Murray. Hey, it's me Murray. Mary. I'm haughting you. I'm going to take your eyes. What? Wait, wait. I have a question about the end of this movie.

OK. Okay. Okay, Murray is Scottish. Uh-huh. Tim is a descendant of Murray. Maybe, or did his family buy the house? No, I think he says it's been in his family for like, I don't know. I thought at some point he made a distinction that like, Murray predated his family. Oh, okay, maybe.

I would hope so, because otherwise the story just gets worse. I've been watching so much Britbox that I can't remember which person was like, this estate has been in my family since it was built. And which person was like, yeah, my parents bought this? Oh, I meant to thank you for turning me onto the bay. Are you loving it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we we, we, we, yeah, we, yeah, we, we, yeah, we, yeah, we, we, yeah, yeah, yeah, we, we, we th, th, yeah, th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi. thank you for turning me on to the bay. Are you loving it? Oh yeah, yeah, we were totally caught up on it. Now we watch like the first season in two days. It's so good.

And then the second season I was like, oh, this won't be as good. But I'm like way into it. It might be even better than the first. It's really good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Yeah. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Yeah. Yeah. to. to. to. the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to. to. Yeah. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. tr. tr. tre. tre. tre. tre. tre. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. talk for those of you who have Britbox. So Tom kills Tim? No. Or he attacks Tim to the floor. And nobody knows that Tim has been knocked unconscious by Tom because they have all been called to the screaming of Paris Hilton who has just gotten out of the bathtub and has been murdered.

Right, right. Yeah. Ooh I just figured out who Emma is. She's that woman who's wearing that statement necklace with a big glittery cross. Oh sure, that's a statement necklace. I forgot before Joe, aka Paris Hilton gets gets killed she's like getting ready to she strips down naked to take a bath and then is in the next shot waiting to get into the tub with a t-shirt on or like an undershirt because there's like a dramatic dropping of the panties and then oh that's right yeah yeah yeah, what's her boyfriend's name? Is it- Tom?

Oh, is Tom her boyfriend? Yeah. Okay, sorry. Please, apologize to me. But she's like, she hears somebody banging on the door and she's like, Tom, is that you. I'm scared. Tom, this isn't Cole. And she's just like dead-eyeing the camera the whole time she's doing this. It's very funny. I thought it was very funny. I really think she's great.

And I also just was absolutely sure that this scene was in House of Wax, because when we did the House of Wax episode, I remember talking to you about her dying at a time. There's this great movie I've seen where Paris and Hilton is killed in a bathtub. It's classic Hilton to the film. I don't think she did much acting other than these two things in one night in Paris. Sure. Yeah. Does that what count as acting? That one cat is acting. Isn't it? I'm surprised they didn't call this movie one night in Scotland to get even more hits

on it. But, so yeah, she's dead. Emma's freaking out about her being dead. Everybody's freaking out, I guess, at this point. They all gather around her body, but no one notices that her boyfriend isn't there for a really long time. For a real long time. Wouldn't that be the first person you look for?

Uh-huh. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And the one lady who, I guess that's Laura, is just, the ghost. Ghost. We're going to have to kill to kill to going to have to kill everyone who touches the ghost. It's just, it's bonkers. Like, we know what has happened because we've already seen Tom

with his demon eyes. Uh-huh. Why wouldn't they do it more like a who-done it where you don't know that he has demon eyes? I'm gonna, I'm gonna put forth a hypothetical, a theoretical idea. Okay. Because they know no one is watching this and paying enough attention. That's a bomber. You're not getting the Agatha Christie eyes on nine lives. Why, is it called that? Is there even nine of them?

There are. Okay. All right. Wait, aren't there? Yeah, there are. You're right. There's an extra boy or an extra girl. An extra boy. It's fucking Damian. No one likes Damian. Because he needs corrective lenses. Or no, I guess nobody likes Tim the keeper of the house. I don't know it doesn't seem to be coupled up at all. Okay. Okay. Okay. the. I. I. I I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there., it doesn't matter. Yeah, Tim doesn't seem to be coupled up at all. Okay. Okay. Because Laura and Pete have a thing going. Right, but they really don't because these people have no chemistry. Yeah, there's that problem, for sure. Yeah. So they like lock themselves in the lounge or whatever. And Laura goes back out and she's like, make sure, she says to Emma, make sure you lock the door. And then two minutes later, she comes back and opens the door

and it's unlocked. And she's just like, Emma, I told you to lock the door. But that was the only reason she came back. She didn't fucking do it. I thought she was going to fire Emma because when she came back into the room I give you one job Emma, look we've given you a lot of chances here. Emma must get fired pretty quickly though because I don't have any, uh, any notes about her after that.

She's the one to get stabbed, right? Because somebody busts in through the window? I can't remember who. No, no, that's Lucy. Oh, okay. Lucy and Emma are practically indistinguishable except for Lucy has really bad eyebrows for she, I mean, a 2002 eyebrows. And Emma has a glittery cross necklace. The statement necklace. The statement necklace, so we, the effermintch the statement necklace.

I'll look at the plot and see if I can figure out how she died. This movie does, it gives me great notes like, I assume Damien is Murray now. Which taken out of context doesn't make any fucking sense. Okay, this says next. Tom kills Emma in her bedroom as she is preparing for bed until he is stopped by Tim who stabs him to death, but I don't remember that happening at all. Nope. But then Tim is possessed by Murray continuing the killing spree. The phones are out. Their cell phones don't work. Sure, because of the snowstorm. Oh, there's one cell phone that is working and then they drop a bed on it? Like you fucking dumb shit brains. These people are all shit brains. They're shitbirds actually. They're shitbirds. They're terrible. They're dummy-dum-dums who all the men I just refer to as that nerd in my notes.

One of his glasses nerd. I think that's Damian. Mm-hmm. That's Damian. Because it's just like nerds go into the basement. Glasses nerd lost his glasses. So they come across Emma and Tom's dead bodies, which make them realize that Tim is the killer. But this whole time they've been like Tom would never,

Tom could never kill anyone, Tom would never kill Joe, Tom would never hurt Tim, Tom is such a good guy. And then when they think Tim's the killer, they're like, oh yeah, yeah, that's, yeah, Tim's probably the killer. And I just thought, it would be so sad if your friend that your other friend was a killer but would absolutely believe that you were. Yeah. That says a lot about you. For sure. Yeah. Am I the the friend in our relationship that you think would absolutely be the killer? No, I think people would say Alan would never do that but would think that I could. And then they'd remember my predilection for knives. Yeah, but I'm unstable.

I feel like all of our listenership is just nodding right now. They're like, no, Alan could never kill someone. But glasses here, it's fucking cold-blooded killer. So of course glasses, glasses get crushed. But this is wait, this is after, uh, now Lucy has been slashed across the tum tum. And so they've propped her up on a couch in the lounge. Okay, so it's Lucy, not Emma. Okay, gotcha.

Which seems like the apps, yeah, Emma is dead, I guess. Yeah. It seems like propping someone up like that is the last thing you would do if they'd been slashed across the abdomen. You wouldn't put a lot of pressure on it by having to lean forward. You, well, I mean, it's the goal to keep your wound above your heart. Yeah, yeah, but you want to, you want to bend him in half so the hot dogs stay on the inside. Oh, it's like a taco. theyco. You want to fold it's the hot the hot the hot the hot the hot the hot the hot the hot the hot the hot the hot the hot to stay to stay to stay to stay to stay to stay to stay to stay the hot the hot the hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot the hot the hot the hot the hot the hot the hot the hot the hot hot the hot the hot to stay the hot hot hot hot hot hot hot the hot hot hot the hot the hot the hot the hot the hot the hot the hot the hot the hot the hot the hot the hot the hot the hot the hot hot the hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot the hot hot the hot hot the hot the hot the hot the hot the hot the hot the hot the hot the hot the hot the hot the hot the hot the hot the hot the hot dog the hot dog to stay stay stay stay stay stay stay stay stay stay stay stay stay stay stay stay stay stay stay stay stay stay stay stay inside stay stay inside stay on. So the hot dog dog dog the hot dog the hot dog the hot dog stay stay stay it's like a taco. You want to fold it to all the stuff stays inside. That's less like a taco and more like a hot pocket that was in for too long. Split, it seems. I'm legally obligated to quote Jim Gaffigan now. Hot pockets.

Thank you very much. I wish you had not signed that legal obligation form all those years ago. Oh man, I'm in the pocket of big gaffigan. I don't know, it just seems like she should be lying flat on her back is what I'm saying. And that curled up like a baby. Like, this guy, he's like, I won't be a doctor for two years, but it seems like you might know something to do with a stab wound if you're two years from being a doctor. Yeah, our tummy wound year four? What's going on here, Champ?

It's bonkers how bad he is at this. Like at one point he turns his back to her and just says to Laura, she's going to die. And then he turns back to Lucy and he's like, okay, you're gonna to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be a to be a to bea, to bea, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tooom. tooom. tooom.. tooom.. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooombue. th thi. th th tooom. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom. the the the the the too so bad at this. It's it's bedside and then immediately behind the bedside manner. So I mean it's just it's it's a patient's can only hear they're they can only hear monodirectional, they're not omnidirectional. No I guess not and then like her shirt or he gives her like a towel towel or something and it's immediately full of blood And he does not look for anything else. He does not put pressure on the wound. He like basically just looks at her and is like I guess you're gonna die. You at least put a pillow over it to hide it. That's true.

That's true. That's true. So at one point the power goes out? But only in some places? Yeah, because there's still one wall that has lights on it. It was like a fuse head blown. And then when Tim and glasses go, no, not Tim's the killer. Gregor and glasses go into the basement to look for the fuse box. The fuse box has been smashed to shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But those lights are still on when they go back.. the the the the the the th. the the th. th. th. the th. th. the th. the th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their there's their their there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah fuse box has been smashed to shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But those lights are still on when they go back upstairs. Yeah,

because some of them. Yeah, because you know how fuses are. I don't. No, I think if you smash a fuse box you lose everything. Nah, you just get a little bit electricity still just a little bit. Gotcha. Do you think that in a place that regularly gets 27 inches of snow? the snow? the snow? the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. the th. Yeah. Yeah. the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, th. Yeah, the the the the the the they, they, they, they, they, their their their th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, the the the the the the the th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, the th. Yeah, th. Yeah, the thi. Yeah, th.'d have a generator? Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah, I would think so. Yeah, having parents that live out in the middle of nowhere, they have a generator, for sure. Do they have a vehicle that can traverse snow? Yeah, and they also have a ghost problem. Oh, is it your parents live in a man's in Scotland? I wish they live in Delaware. Yeah. At this point, the movie's only halfway over and you're like, but how? Which is funny because my notes are more than two-thirds done.

Well, by the time it gets to the end, it's so repetitive that you're just like, I've already seen this? And they're trying so hard to make you think that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that think that that that that that that that that that that the that that to the end, it's so repetitive that you're just like, I've already seen this. And they're trying so hard to make you think that Laura and Pete have any interest in each other? I know, I know. They've had this conversation earlier in the night where he's talking to her about how she can't see the die under the cup, of existentialism made me want to vomit. He is such a college boy about it, like, I cannot take it. He had one intro to Sartra class. It was like, I got this.

I dated that guy, and he was terrible. So... But like later she picks up the dye and stares contemplatively at it, like, it's the dye under the cup. It's Murray in his body. And you're like, wait, what?? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, like, th. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. it's the dye under the cup. It's Murray in his body. And you're like, wait, what? How the fuck did you get there? Well, obviously you're not a college like we are, or you would have understood that existentialism leads to dice, which leads to Murray, a toy.

Brutal. Like, at this point, no one has really decided other than her that there's a ghost that's possessing their friends and causing them to kill each other. And so like she won't let Pete and Damien back into the room. And she's like, I don't have a choice. And it's like, yes, you do. And she's like, I don't know that. I don't know you're yourself and it's like you do though why are you why is she so convinced that she has the story right and why does she actually have the story right I feel like she is just an example of how people become flat earthers there's like well the horizon's flat doy of course it is

right well it is well it is flat though well tho the woe the the the horizon's flat that well the the the horizon is the horizon is the horizon is the horizon is the horizon is the horizon is the horizon is the horizon is like is like is like is like is like is like the horizon is like the horizon is like the horizon is like the horizon is like the horizon is like the horizon is like the horizon is like the horizon is like the horizon is like the horizon is like the horizon is like. the horizon is like. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. the horizon is like the horizon is like the horizon is like. the horizon is the horizon is the horizon is the horizon is the horizon is the horizon is the horizon is the horizon is. the horizon is. the horizon is. the horizon. the. the horizon. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the horizon's. the the horizon is flat though. Well, let me explain to you how, never mind. Please don't. You know what? Because I believe in satellites. I know that we're, I'm seeing images of earth. But it's just like, the fact that she was like, oh, well, yeah, this is what's happening. So obviously I have to get ready for murder now. It's murder time. It's murder time and then later it's going to be suicide time. She is so sure that she has figured out how this ghost works. She stabs herself in the stomach. And is willing to leave her boyfriend in the hallway. Yeah. And he's like, you know what, this makes sense. You're right. You're right, I should stay out here. Don't believe me, maybe I am possessed. I, it's just, I can't.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know, glasses gets killed. Oh, he, glasses is the one who becomes possessed and burst through the window on Andy and Lucy. Oh, that's right, because then they keep locking the door to that room as though it's secure. And I kept thinking, didn't someone jump? Isn't there a person-sized hole in the wall? Like the Koolaid man came running through here, guys. Like, when she's going to kill herself and not let him in, I just thought, or whatever is the other way around,

like, why doesn't the one who wants to be with the other one just go through the hole in the wall? The what now? You know it's there, it's freezing. There's 70 centimeters of snow falling on the ground while this is happening. The snow looks so shitty when they're outside too. It's sad. There. There. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's. There's the. There this is happening. That's a lot of snow. The snow looks so shitty when they're outside too. It's sad. There's a point where someone's walking in it and you can tell that they're walking on big fluffy things of cotton with a little bit of fake snow on top of them. Snow does not move like that. It's like practically

cracking. This fake snow is practically cracking under the weight of the person on top of the cotton of the cotton of the cotton of the cotton of the cotton of the cotton of the cotton of the cotton of the cotton of the cotton of the cotton of the cotton of the cotton of the cotton of the cotton of the cotton of the cotton of the cotton. It's the cotton. It's th of th of th of the person on top of the cotton. It's so bad. It's like a fucking crumb brulee. Like it's terrible. It looks like shit. It looks like shit. Oh, this movie. I just have notes that say, like, does it? Does it?

And I just need this to be over. Like, how is there still 30 minutes? Maybe Laura is the bad guy since she knows so god damn much about it. So two things I'm noticing. By the final third of my notes, I know exactly who everyone is and all of their names. Yeah, me too. I'm really using. They must have been using each other's names a lot because I have written down. Which is so hilarious that the script writer was like, oh, nobody knows who anybody is. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm really th. I'm really th. I'm really th. I'm really th. I'm really thi thi thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. So th. th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. hilarious that the script writer was like, oh nobody knows who anybody is. Why I don't have time to go back. I'll start from here. And the second thing is that we that we now pick up from the opening scene where we see Laura running with the knife. Right, right, right, right, right. Okay. God she's a

fucking know it all, though. Because she kills Andy because he's possessed. So, wait, wait, wait, this is after Damien as the, as Murray, leaps onto a fire poker that Lucy was holding while unconscious and dies. What kind of fucking shit-ass ghost demon flails himself onto a fire poker, just leaps onto it. I don't want to play out the obvious, but an eyeless one? Damn, dog. He couldn't see it coming. No. He took a lot of damage for being blind now that I think about it.

It's true, but it's the only explanation for why he would fling himself. It's not like there was like this moment of like Damian breaking through Murray. Yeah, no. He's just he had broken his glasses anyway, so maybe he truly was blind. It's true. And maybe the demon was like, oh, this body sucks. I want to move to move to move to move to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. the th. th. th. thi. the thi. th. the th. the th. th. thi. the only the only thioliolioli. the only the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. too. too. try. try. try. try. try. try. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th true. And maybe the demon was like, oh, this body sucks. I want to move into somebody else now. Yeah, so he moves into Lucy's body, who is dying? Why not just like, if you have figured this out, why does Andy kill her so quickly? Why do they not just let her like basically be incapacitated with a ghost in her? Right, because she can't like chase them? Right. He's like, fuck it and stabs her and she's dead. And then you're like, well at least we can finally kill Andy because I cannot look at his stupid face any longer. So this, Laura killing Andy is what leads to her running down the hallway and saying,

I killed him. And she goes up to the door where Pete is, and Pete's like, I can't let you in dog. You might be possessed. I believe the dice now. And so she stabs herself. Yeah, and then he opens the door, like a real shitbird. And I'm like, well, isn't it just going to jump into him now? But it's not. Because no, it's about, so it was never about who, like, it was just about being British? I guess, yeah, the Scotsman just wanted to kill all the Brits and the one American. And the one America, like, fucking explain Paris Hilton to me that movie. Because the movie ends with McGregor doing this internal monologue about blood and nationalism. And I don't know, pride, Scottish, I don't know what else. He's like, you spared me because I was of your blood.

But also, why did you kill Paris Hilton? America didn't even fucking exist yet when this happened to you. America was like 30 years from declaring independence. Sure, sure, sure, sure, what do you, I mean, but, you know, fucking ding bats? They're not Scottish. I guess. What if there'd been a Venezuelan woman? What do you have taken her to?

She's not Scottish, Katie. All right. Protect the Scots. Yep. Also, like, several problems here. Why doesn't him reading the book bring Murray back again? Could Scottish? No, that can't possibly be true because why would you plant your ghost inside a book inside a house inside Scotland if Scottish people couldn't bring it out? No, I don't believe that. Two, how is he going to explain this to the police?

I have that note too, and like you're destroying evidence now where you could say this book was possessed. Yeah, my number three was going to be, maybe don't burn the only tiny bit of evidence you might have. Camera pans out, it's rain falling and melting all the snow that was never there. Right, the cotton just all like shrunk away. What's your final note for this movie? Right, the cotton just all like shrunk away. What's your final note for this movie? Fucking explain Paris Hilton. This is absolutely false because Paris Hilton is an American.

What's yours? Not the worst movie we've done. Not the worst movie we've done. We're going to rate this bitch? Yeah. Can I go first? Please. Negative nine go first? Please. Negative nine.

Negative nine. No lives left. This movie is like so of an era for me because, you know, before there was Netflix, there was on demand. Sure. And Rob and I spent a lot of our mid-twenties watching horror movies on on-demand. And this is like very, this is definitely where we watched it, you know, it's probably like 2007 watching this movie on on-demand.

And it is just so similar to all of those other movies that we watched on on-demand that were all from the early 2000s, you know, just like low budget, shitty, often British, you know. It's such a vibe to me. And I, well, well, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, th, well, th, th, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, th, well, well, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, thi, it was th, it was th, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was th, it was th, it was th, th, it was th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, thiiiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, For sure. It's such a vibe to me and I, well I appreciate and love that time of my life. This movie is hot trash. Negative 9. Yeah, dude. That's way worse than a lot of way worse movies have gotten from you. I know, but I really wanted to give it something, uh, well let me think on it. Maybe I'll come up with something. Okay. Okay. This is the meow mix of movies.. th. th. th. th. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi. Well I th. Well I th. Well I th. Well I th. Well I th. I th. I th. Well I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to give it something, well let me think on it, maybe I'll come up with something. Okay, okay. Okay. Okay. This is the meow mix of movies.

Okay, is that better? Yes. Okay. Then I take back my negative nine and I give it meow mix. So this is food that you're giving your cat because, you know, you're kind of a different towards your cat. Or just like like th like the grocery store was closed and you had to buy it at the gas station and you're like listen I'm sorry. That's one of those things where I assume the cat's just like I don't know this is like McDonald's

French fries to me who gives a shit this is trash I love it. I just bring into, yeah. Um, your turn. Ah. It's not the worst movie we've done, but I can't judge it on those merits. Yeah, I don't say that. I wouldn't say that's merits, really even. This is like, uh, well, we did the crossover episode and John was like, well, it's not the worst X-Men movie, but it's like, that doesn't mean, no, that's, ah, that's not how this works. No, and actually having never seen another X-Men movie,

it was the worst one I'd ever seen. For sure. Yeah. Um, I'm gonna give this movie a three? Three, what did you give nightbreed? I think I gave that a floor. Gosh, we're just, this is meaningless. I would never in a million years suggest someone watch this movie, but if they did, I would want to talk to them about their experience. Yeah, that's fair.

Just sit them down and be like, okay, so. What a delightful mess. Actually, it wasn't. I just cannot believe that movie kept going. Ah, Katie. You want to speak about something else that's very delightful? That sounds wonderful. Let me tell you about a patron who sent us a message to read on the podcast.

Okay. This is from James. Hi, James. And a fun fact about James is there a criminology researcher in Australia. Wow that is extremely dope. Yeah that sounds really fun. I'm very interested in your work. And Jim says I'm happy to support you sweet hilarious angels. Oh, thank you. You're a sweet angel. I don't know if you're hilarious, but I bet you have a lot of cool stories being a criminology studies. Yeah. Expert. Researcher, yeah. Also, great place to do at Australia. You're either a criminal or descended from one, yeah? Shit. Am I allowed to say that? About Australians? I was going to say you're probably spending most of your time figuring out what animal killed these people. Yeah, really. Australia, man. I would love to visit Australia. I think it's a beautiful place full of wonderful people, but holy shit your animals and your your crimes. I will visit Australia when they figure out a way to make it closer. I can't be on a plane for that long. I can't tell it. How long is it like. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the to thi to to to to to to ti ti ti. ti. ti. ti. ti ti. to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. t closer. I can't be on a plane for that long. I can't do it.

How long is it like Pittsburgh to Australia? I think it's like 19 hours. And you're going to be a day ahead. Oh, I can't even do that. That's like looking at your own face. I can't do that. I can't even imagine that. I can't even imagine that. I can't to thi. tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to th. to th. to to to to to to to to th. to to th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the to to to that. to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their thi. thi. thi. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. try. try. try. try. can't even imagine that. Yeah, that's fair. I can't give them a big old dumb brain around that. I'd have to just Google, where am I? And when? I actually just, I literally just got a little bit dizzy thinking about it. Am I even me anymore? I'm like wondering if you, if it takes you 19 hours to get there and you're like almost a day ahead, is it like the same, you know what I mean? Like, is it like the day never happened?

I just don't want to spend that long breathing in other people's farts. Oh, I don't mind that. Life is breathing other people's farts. We live in a society. Yeah, but you're in a metal tube hot box at each other's farts and it's just... Yeah, I don't know. You know what, I'm a heavy farter. Did you say I'm a heavy farter? Yeah. I almost never burbs all up the butt. I'm sorry everyone. I hope you weren't like eating your lunch. I'm so sad that we haven't announced next week's movie so we could have ended on that. All right, we'll tell them what we're watching next week. We're going to do a current film. Yeah. Oh, where is that? Where can we see that? Oh, I have no idea. I think you can rent it.

Hold on. YouTube, I am never giving you money to watch a thing. Seriously, get over yourself. I'm not going to do it. There's no way you're not going to steal my credit card information. 100%. I'm sure, I know that YouTube is owned by Google or whatever, but I'm also entirely sure that it's Russian. It's just rogue from somewhere. So it looks like you can rent it on Google Play or Evil Amazon. Speaking of, okay. Yeah, so you can rent that wherever you rent movies. It's probably a little more expensive, sorry about that,

but we really wanted to do a newer movie and to, you know, I was really excited to see that one when it was out. Did we say it was freaky? I can't remember if we said the name of it or not. Oh my god, I don't know because we just went off on that that that that that that that that thang thang than than than the to to than to to to than to to to to to than than to than to to to the. It's freaky guys. It's freaky. It's Vince Vaughn. I don't think we've had a Vince Vaughn yet. Oh, what are you talking about? That movie with Jalo and Vince Vaughan and Vincentonafrio?

Oh, fuck the cell. Yeah. Oh, okay, fine, our second Vinsan. Fins' sleepy eyes his way through that, motherfucker. I, he's so sleepy, I forgot he was there. He's dozing in the corner. Oh my god, what's wrong with me? Please, you've remembered everything that we've done. Like, it's gotta be the two of us together that figure out.

It's true. And then also, like, having a record of them, the record, like having a having a record of them online because sometimes I have to look and see whether we've done a movie if I want to reference it and the write-ups. Thank you so much to the listener who does our letterbox to where I can see the visual representation of them all. Absolute hero. Yeah, wonderful. You guys are awesome. You're all fun. You guys are all fun. You guys are the best. We love you. Even if you've jumped ship for other to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to the the the the the the to the the their their their their their their their their their their their their th. the best. We're their their their their their their their their their the best. Wea. Wea. We're the best best. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best. the best. the best. the best. the best. the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. the. theateateateateat. th. theatea. th. theatea. th that's fine. You can only take so much of us. Seriously, this is episode 300 and something? Yeah, like 20 something, yeah. Jesus fucking Christ. I never thought we'd be here. But the other thing is we never thought we wouldn't. It's true. I assume I'll be doing this till one of us is dead, preferably me. Oh no, I hate it. I hate it too.

All right, I'll see you later. Thanks for listening to another episode of Wearable Fabulance. Bye. Bye. Maniacs and dead pools, Savini's sight inside the pool. No way to make it bea'nepheed the pool. No way to wait, Finland's tube fulfilled reviews. Killing clouds and leapt the face. Can heaven have his face? Our parents are cast in case. Film reviews. Killing lads and let the face.

Can him out of his face? A pierce in cask. Please make a guy to the grave. END. Mallorone comedy reviews hungry, Brian from wings and Stephen Kang. E.D. We live delicious, sleep at tempo atures, obese, crazily contendu.

Daddy. A paranormal act of duties from Mr. Rogers city. EFT. E.M.D.