Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 326- Swamp Thing (1982)

Episode Date: March 29, 2021

*airhorn sound* WE'RE BACK ON THE PORCH!!! *airhorn sound* In this week's episode, we're reunited in person for the first time in ~5 months and the result is one of our most joyful episodes in a long time. We're discussing the 1982 Wes Craven-directed DC Comics horror film "Swamp Thing." Special topics for your consideration include: inexplicable love interests, weird sibling relationships, some potential marketing options for Bud Light, being both a badass and ill-prepared for the swamp, human ~*~essence~*~ and a perm that just won't quit. Cravin' some Craven? (I hate myself): Episode 4- "A Nightmare on Elm Street," Episode 44- "Scream," Episode 138- "The People Under the Stairs," Episode 228- "Scream 4," and Episode 278- "Scream 3." Truly the elephant in this room is "Scream 2," huh? If you've been on the fence about supporting us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance, we're releasing an episode about the film "Blood Sport" on our action movie podcast this week! Find us online: Buy merch for yourself or those you love at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance on Twitter @werebulance on Instagram @werewolfambulance. [e-mail] If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. Someday we're gonna be #1 in Finland. Some sweet day. Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down. Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast.

Reunited and it feels so good. Reunited and it feels so good. Let me get the key right. Hmm. No, I can't. I can't sing. I couldn't carry a tune if it had a handle on it. What? I like how, as I said that, a loud car went by. Because we're back on the porch. Bibbies. Here comes another one. Wow, look at that guy's bike outfit. I think he might be a junior superhero. He looks like a junior superhero. He's so coordinated. Okay, here we go.

We're back on the porch. Alan's neighborhood is just so goddamn distracting. In this visual medium of podcasting. We're like, do you see that guy? You see what he's wearing? You don't. Oh, Katie, I'm so glad to be back in person with you. I am so glad to be back in person with you because it's springtime. And as such, I brought you a little present. A present.

You don't have to drink it if you don't want to because I know you got your second vaccine yesterday. Oh, by the way, get vaccinated, y'all. Yeah, I'm try to get Icylight mangoes too so we can make halvesies. Which is half Budlaid lime, half icy light mango. It's fucking delicious. But I just only got around to getting one of them. Is icy mango in season yet? It is. It is in season. Yeah. I need to put this down. Hold on. All right. Thank you so much. I have to bump the bottom of your beer. I to. I to bump. I to bump. I to bump. I to bump. I to bump. I to bump. I to bump. I to bump. I to bump. I to bump. I to bump. I to bump. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have to bump. I have to bump. I have to bump. I have to bump. I have to bump. I have to bump. I have to bump. I have. I have. I have to bump. I have to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. the. the the. the the the the the. the the the the. the the. the the. the thu. my god, that was beautiful. Sounds so good. Feel so good.

I'm so happy. Mmm. Oh, you're going to hate it. Tell me how you feel about Bud Light lime. Much like Bud Light, that doesn't task. That's fair. There's like a hint of corn and lime in it. It's like, uh, I ate a taco a while ago.

Yeah, and you're just burping it up now. Bloodlight lime, it's like burping a taco. That's actually lovely. You remember what you ate for dinner last night? We do. We do. We do. You should brush your teeth before you into to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to to to to to to to to to to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to to the to brush to to to to to to to to to brush to boome to boom their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their te... te. te. tea. tea.. tea... teaupe... te.. tea. tea. tipe. tipe. te. tip. But we're not here to talk about the summer or the springtime. I am frankly. We're here to talk about a DC comic book movie. That my auto-correct and I for the life of me can't figure out fucking why.

Kept trying to change to Swank Thing. Swank Thing, because you love Hill Dog. I assume it's because I'm just so swanky. You are pretty swanky, you're a swanky man. This is a swanky porch. Swank Thing would be a very different movie. Yes, it would. Swamp Thing, if you recall I said I was a big fan of the TV show.

Sure. Then when I sat down to actually watch Swamp Thing, I was like, what do you remember about the TV show? And the answer is a doctor and a plant guy, I think. And maybe a little boy. Yeah. That's Swamp Thing. Was it? I mean, that's the movie we just watch. True, true. A PG movie because PG-13 did not exist yet, which is bat shit.

A movie that you could take children to, to introduce them to Adrian Barbo's boobs for the first time. Big old tets. God bless her. She looks great. Well, yes. That haircut, though. It is very of its time. She's never going to see her ears again.

It's always, I think back to John Carpenter's the fog. She's gorgeous. When her hair is like super feathered in that, and then everything else it's that like tight, tight, tight, perm. Yeah, it's immovable. It really ages her between the fog and this, even though it's only like two years. Yeah. It's real. Yeah, that's your style, though, man. It gets like super wet throughout a variety of scenes in this movie and still doesn't move.

It's shocking. It is a tight-ass perm. I mean, I guess if you're like a federal agent who's going that haircut is the one to go with. Wait, she's a federal agent? Of some sort, yeah, yeah, yeah. Interesting. Because it seemed like the person she was replacing, they're like, oh yeah, the guy you're replacing got eaten by a gator. It seemed like he was a scientist. And I thought, is she a scientist? I think there's some sort of federal scientists, because they have, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they they they they're they they're, they're, they're, their, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they, because, because, because, they, they, they, they, they, they they they they they they're, they're, they're they're they're they're they're th. they're they're they're they're their, they're they're they're their, their, their, the theat, theat, the. the. thi, because, because, to Washington. And yes, and they all know how to use guns real good.

Or real bad. Well, wait, so the paramilitary guys, were they part of this expedition and they turned, or did they get sent there? There's like very little set up for what is happening in this movie. Right, and it almost feels like you're watching a sequel. Yes. And I think that might actually just be a comic book thing, because that was the case for the other comic book movie we did as well. Right, right, right.

The name of which has already escaped me. The new mutants. That's the one. I kept thinking new radicals, which is that like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the th.......... that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, like, like give song okay okay now I do yeah yeah motorcycles so good to be back yes I think it is the comic book thing that and like all the ridiculous wipes in this movie why though the you what was your favorite wipe slime wipe the drippy the drippy the drippy yeah the drippy yeah the drippy the drippy yeah the the drippy the tripy the tripy the tripy th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thy thy thy thy thy thy thy thy thy thy thy that thy thy thy thy thy thy thy thy thy thy thy the thy thy the thy that's thy that's thy thy thy thy thy thy thy thy thy thy thy thy thy thy thy th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thy thy thy thy the the the the the ty the the the triy the the the triy the the the triy they use a number of them, but I liked the slime wipe the best, yeah. So drippy. So this movie starts off with Adrian.

We see a man get attacked by this paramilitary group that is the most fucking like, like, a collection of roadies who got together to be a paramilitary group you're ever going to see. They're sneaking around in a swamp which seems nigh on impossible like you're really gonna have to nail that move silently check but then they sneak up on him which was shocking to me. And David Hess is in this movie. I don't know who that is. You might know him from Last House on the Left. Oh I never finished that movie. That's the West Craven Grosso movie. Yeah. He is he's famous for being th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi thi thi thi the the tho thi thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to the the the the the the they. they. the thi. thi finished that movie. That's the West Craven Grosso movie. Yeah. Yeah. He's famous for being in real rapy movies. Oh, great work David Hess.

Yeah, and being a folks-air. Apparently it was a very nice dude you just... Got cast bad. It was in some sketch-ass movies. And I kept waiting for this movie to break in that direction because I'm so used to to David Ha. He's the guy who had the like semi-pony tail where he just like like grabbed some of the hair on the back of his head put in a bonytail. Was he blonde? No he had a black hair. He was the leader of... Oh, ferret. Oh, the ferret. Okay, okay, okay. Okay. Yeah.

I thought you were referring to the guy who looked vaguely like Dave Cullier with the blonde hair? Oh no. No, no. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Oh no. Never mind. The one kind Bruno I only refer to as chubby military man. I called him Chubby Bruce Willis, which is... Well, that's funny because wasn't Bruce Willis's alter ego in his blues band, Bruno? Was it? Oh my God. I'm so glad to be back on the porch right now. This guy throws the most embarrassing punch I've ever seen at these guys. Who was ferret or the Bruce Willis? The guy who is getting attacked by the paramilitary guys.

He like throws from the shoulder but it's sort of a downward motion like it's literally the most embarrassing punch I've ever seen outside of like a middle school fight. Here's a reference for almost nobody. That guy looks like he would be standing in the background of the Ram Jam, Blackbetty video. I've heard the song Dono the video. You should watch the video because it's, it's, Ram Jam would look like, like guys you may have worked on the Apple computer in the garage. Perfect. And they're just standing in a yard full of other people the the tho the the the the their their their thoom their their their their th. th. th. th. their their th. You. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. the. tham, tham, tham, tham, tham, tham, tham, tham, tham, tham, their, tham, tham, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. It, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their theauuiiiiauaugh. the. the.the Apple computer in the garage. Perfect. And they're just standing in a yard full of other people who look like them

rocking out to Black Betty. That rules. It does rule. Yeah, I'm gonna go watch that. And then occasionally, if I remember correctly, the drummers on the back of a pickup track playing drums. That's very cool. Like a parade. Like a parade. A one man country road parade. A that one tha tha that tha that that that that that that th. that th. th. th. that th. th. th. th. th. Black. Black. Black black black black black black black black black black black black black black black black black black that. that. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that. that. that that. that. that that. that. that. that. that that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. throooooooo. th. th. the. the. the. the. that that that that th. th. th feel like that's also the vibe of this movie. One man country road parade? And Black Betty. And Black Betty, yeah. So who is this guy that gets attacked? He's a science man. Okay he's the guy that he was out checking on. their thea. that he was killed by gaiters and they're very cavalier about it. It seems like a deeply uncool job. Oh, yeah, for sure. I think swamp work is probably deeply uncoo. I mean outdoor work for me is not great. Sure. Swamp work even worse. I love that almost every scene Adrian Barbo is in. She's squatting some sort of insect away from her. She seems very annoyed by this film. But for the first like 10, 15 minutes you're just like I have no idea what

any of you are talking about. For sure. I don't know what any of your jobs are. I don't know what you're doing here. And ultimately I still don't really know what they were doing in the swamp. No, the whole like that arcane guy? Yeah. Like they all seem to know him to know him. Like he all seem to know him. to be like like. the the the the the they. Yeah. they. Yeah. they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi all all all all all all all all all th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. th. th he's dead. He's not dead. And it was like, what? Why did you know who he was to know who he was dead? What's going on now? No set up for any of that. Nothing. And for some reason, even though I had to rent this movie from Amazon, they were like, mm-mm, you ain't getting no goddamn.

the subtitle. You're going to have to guess the su' the su' to guess to guess to guess th. to guess th. th. to guess th. to guess th. th. thi. thi. to get thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thoom. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. No. th a bummer. It wouldn't give me subtitles. That is weird, Amazon. And every time Arcane spoke, he just went, mr-mr-mr-mr-mrmr. He's real mumbly. To be fair, anything he says does not really advance the plot, because I don't understand who he is or what he's doing. So it's not essence, though. So like, what a dumb movie. What happens is, we meet the doctors.

Mm-hmm. It's Dr. Guy and Dr. Lady. I assumed they were married, they're not their brother and sister. Correct, so that there can be a love interest. Okay, I get that, but then why does Adrian Barbo say to him save it for your wife? Because she thought they were married. I see because I did too and so nobody told me or her otherwise. It seems like someone should have told at least one of us. Well then later on in the lab lady doctor's like well that's why he's just like our father. Wink that's when I was like, to. thr-I. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Wink. Wink. Wink. Wink. Wink. Wink. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. the. th. the. the. th. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. And Andrew and Barbeau looks at the camera and goes, I've got to change my panties. He's just ready to fuck him.

She loves him. And for no reason, he's a bit of a Dildo. He's played by Ray Wise for all of you Twin Peaks fans out there. Uh-huh. Laura Palmer's father. Is he hunky in this, yeah. He's not th th th th th th th th th th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, tha. And, tha. And, thi. thi. thi. thoooooooo.this, actually. He's a bit of a silver fox in that. I'll take a silver fox over this guy. He's so smarty in this.

Yes. But like this, we're told that a lady doctor is a doctor and she's doing doctor stuff. And then she like talks about her, we think husband but turns out to be brother. He's the brain, we the brain, we the brain, we the brain, we the brain, we the brain, we the brain, we th, we th, we th, we thi thi thi, we thi, we thi, we thi, we thi, we thi, we thi, we thinks, we thinks, we thinks, we thinks thinks, thinks, thi, thi, thi, thi, he's thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. He. He's thi. thi, thi. thi. thi, thi. thi. thin. thin. thin. thin, is thin, is thin, is thin. thin. thin. thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii's thi's thi's thi. the family. And it's like, bitch, you're a doctor. Own up to it. Don't believe her, she's got an IQ like a telephone number. That's really high. Like area code too? Or. All the men in his movie are Dildos.

What? Yeah. What? Yes. Not Bruno when he becomes low Bruno later on. That made me really sad for some reason. But so there's this guy running around Ritter who is making a big deal out of having to protect Dr. Holland. to the told her. that they're making a big deal. Dr. Holland's got the secrets. What are they doing there? They're making super grow plant food so they can feed the world because it's 1982 and famine was a big deal back then. Now we just don't care. We cared about it then.

Yeah, exactly. Why did they need to be doing this in the swamp? Because the other thing is like the swamp and the Amazon if you remember? Well no, you wouldn't have been born. I was negative to when this movie came out. There was like this big thing that th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi. thi. thi. thin, tho tho tho tho tho tho thi, thi, thin, tho, tho, tho, tho, the, the, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We thi. We thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, the thin, thin, thin, the thin, the the the the the to when this movie came out. There was like this big thing that the swamp and like all of the vegetation there was gonna like care cancer and care blah-bity-blah-bub. Has it? Not that I know. It's not a better think, maybe.

Right, I don't know. Who can say? What's pharmaceuticals? I don't know. I don't know. I'd tho. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. the tho. tho. the their. the the the their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. too. too. too. ta. ta. too. too. the the their their their their their their their their their about long-term effects of COVID today. I was like, oh man, am I gonna get those too? Wait, why would you get those too? I don't know. You don't get a cold, you don't, there's no active virus in the vaccine. Oh, I understand that. Okay, but as a hypochondriac, okay. Okay, let's take our jets and cool them because you're dipping into anti-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-n a the the the the the the the th-n't-n't-o-o-nip-o-o-o-a-a-a-n't-n't-n'-s-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-n. There's th. There's th. There's th. There's th. There's th. There's th. There's th. There, th-a-a-a-a-a-a-s, th-s, th-s, th-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s. There's-s. There's-s. There's-s. There's-s. There's-s. There's-s. There's no-s. There's no-s. There's no-s. There's no-s. There's-a-a-a-a- here. Oh no no no not at all, not at all. I am totally pro-vacx and I would do it again. I thought about getting another one of the vaccines on top of this. You should have gotten one in like a takeout bag. Yeah, let me just get that Johnson a Johnson. Just slip it right under my skin. But yeah, so they're they're trying to make miracle grow food. the dark. their. they're. they're. they're. th. th. th. th. th. their their th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tha. tha. tha. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. food, which they do. They make amazing plant food that is beautifully glow in the dark, which you know I love.

It's jello, right? It's, yes, it's explosive jello. Why does it explode and grow plants? Because it's so fucking powerful. Got it. So much power. That's why it glows, explodes and grows. Got it. So we meet this guy Ritter, who's making a th, who's th,, and he's just like being super fucking rude about a woman being here, women don't belong here,

women are trash. And he's like, is he Australian? What is he supposed to be? I don't know, but it doesn't matter because that's not his real accent, because he pulls off his face, and it's this guy arcane, which I lost my fucking mind about that.......... the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thr-a, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, and, and, and, th. And, and, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. to. to. to. toe. toe. toe. to. to. to. to. toe. to. to. to. th. th. th. th.. I was so excited about that. They were so blase about having perfect face reconstruction technology masks. I mean if you could do that, who needs plant growth. He just rips off this like velcroft on face and it's amazing. That doesn't stick to his face at all. It's not like they had to use fucking

glue on it? It's like, just like, just, I love it so much. It's so comic book. That is so comic book. That's when I remembered we were watching a comic book movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're like, oh this guy. Did they know him? Yeah, arcane. They thought he was dead before they saw him. Okay, when did they think, why? When did they first th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they th. they they they they they they they they th. they they they th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they th. th. they th. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. they first get to when they first get to the the the science cabins they're like everyone's like but arcane's dead arcane's dead are they just keep saying it over and over and it's like yes he's dead we'll never meet him again certainly not. Adrian Barbos hair from behind while running is so fucking funny because her head, it just

doesn't move at all so it looks like she just has this mammoth head running. It's fucking amazing. I also loved her like, bi-cash shirt unbuttoned to navel with a sports coat on that she like showed up to work in. You mean her like actual business clothes before she puts on that Hawaiian shirt and then tries to camouflage like fucking take off the Hawaiian shirt. There's a part where she's trying to hide in the woods she's wearing a Hawaiian red shirt. I have at at least three notes about that. I do do. At one point I just throat in all caps but the shirt! Because she's wearing like olive, drab everything else.

She's dressed like a tree otherwise. She's dressed like in the parlance of our time a boogaloo boy. She's wearing like military fatigues and fucking no wine shirt. No she looks cute as hell. Yeah for sure. Do you like how Dr. Holland called his sister in to watch him make out before Arcane gets there? When he's like... He's like, Linda, get in here. Oh no, no, no, no, no. The fact that they like, he's so excited he gives her a smooth and then they're like, fuck that, I'm touching your tonsils right now. I just, and I'm going to do it for hours. And the sister comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes he he he he he he th. She she she she's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's to to to to to to thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thin. thin. thin. thin. th. th. the. thin. the. thin. th. thin. th. the. th. the. th She's like smiling about it, like I love to watch my brother stick his tongue in someone's mouth.

Okay, so the tongue. It was so weird. She's just like, oh. Okay, so Arcane comes in with his paramilitary to get the formula and the notebooks. Uh, and like, Adrian Barbobo punches so good. She punches so much better than that guy at the beginning. I love that she kicks ass in this whole fucking movie. She punches really good. She shoots like a big gun right from the hip, like an M16 or something from the hip? Like what is her job? What is her training? What is her specialty? That's why I think she's a federal agent of some sort. But she's also really good, you've seen Escape from New York? Many years ago, yeah.

There's a scene where she's like unloading a firearm in that too, and you're like, you look so fucking cool shooting a gun. She's so fucking cool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She was married to John Carp them being like best friends, don't you? I think all those horror boys at some point were friends and they all like hung out together. Cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just want them to be best friends.

Just, and Toby Hooper will come over some time. Yeah, yeah. For movie night. What do they watch on movie night? Romcombs? Well if John Carppenter's involved, he's like, do you just want to play video games? Like, I love playing video games? Does he? I would love to play video games with John Carpenter. I think he's like a big call of duty and all that kind of like first-person shooter. That's not for me.

I get way way to to play Mario Kart with Katie and I. I would love that. I'd be King Boo, who would you be? Oh, I'm gonna. I would probably be Princess and a cat costume? That's what that's a go to or I have my own one that I made for myself. Yeah, it looks like you. Yeah, vaguely. All right, so I don't know, Linda tries to grab the notebooks and run away, like the shooter immediately. Like, yeah. Linda, you crazy asshole, how far did you think you would get? How did you feel about Bruno being like bummed that Linda got killed? And like at the time he's like, oh man, and then he takes her necklace and hangs it from a tree? Yeah, he doesn't want to steal her stuff. He just wants it to be like left. Yeah.

Well, I think we're supposed to see Bruno as being like an empathetic person. Except for the fact that he hangs out with the monster boys. Except that he hangs out with the monster boys. But then at the end, it the end, it, the end, the end, the end, the end, the end, the end, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, the, the, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the thean, the the the the the the the the to be to be to be to be to was a reference back to his like having feelings about the death of an innocent woman, which we should all have feelings about. It was just a weird like. Yeah, I think it was, I assume it was because like he's also seen as being phenomenally deferential to arcane. Yeah. What is his life? How did Bruno get here? I'm always confused by these comic book dudes that have just like paramilitary dudes hanging out with them all the time. I mean I guess that happens. It's like you know Blackwater exists. Sure. Sure. Or whatever it's called now. But yeah. Paramil-dur- just like, just like, mercenary hangouts.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How do we get mercenaries to do our bidding. It's not violence. It's just like running the the they. they. they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. to. to. to th. thi. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Black. Black. I. Black. Black. I. Black. I. I. Black. I. Black. Black. I. I. Black. Black. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. our bidding. It's not violence. It's just like running down to the store and getting us the snickers with almonds, you know. Crap me one of them strawberry yuhu's while you're there, dog. Ooh, they make a strawberry yuh? I believe so. Is that new? I am no. I'm going to guess it came and went about the same time this movie was out. There's a lot of hand th th in this scene, and it's so exciting. Did you not think so?

I thought it was pretty bad fight choreography through it. I liked it. Nice, that's awesome. And then there's a really big firewalk. Oh my god, the best firewalk ever. It's stunning. As fans of firewalks, I think this might be the best firewalk I've th. seen. So Dr. Ray Wise, whose first name is something corny like Alan? Alec. Alec. I'm not going to let you shit on yourself my friend. He gets it, like the serum

formula explodes on him and he gets lit on fire. He runs out the front door and hits the front railing and blows up again? Yeah. And then hits the ground running and is like, I was worried about the stunt person in that costume. I thought this is going on too long. This can't be safe. In 1982, this low budget-ass movie is not going to have like as many safety things as they need to. And West Craven being like, you're doing a 50-yard dash and the stunt person

being like, tho' thii. No. How many? How many is that? I also imagine that the stunt person was supposed to run like somewhere else and just panicked and ran right into the swamp. Well, no, you got to make a swamp thing somehow. It's true, you got to make a swamp thing somehow. Or a swank thing. I don't know how you make a swank thing. Take it to New York Swagger? That the place that allegedly was most definitely a front for something. Oh no, it 100% was.

The community organization I work for got them shut down. Oh, really? Yeah. For those of you who don't know what New York was, it was a storefront in my neighborhood that had a big sign out front that said, finally, I'm not paraphrasing this, finally New York fashion by people actually from New York. Finally. And if you're going to run a front, maybe don't call so much attention to yourself, you ding dongs. Next door to it was also owned by them. It was Pinky's Pet Palace, which was a grooming place that never groomed any animals. Yeah, yep, yep, yep, yep.

Anyway. So that's how you make a Swank thing thing. Yeah, yep, yep, yep, yep. Yeah, yeah. Anyway... So that's how you make a Swank Thing. Swank Thing, you go to New York Swagger, RIP, and buy some meth, I presume. I don't know what they were selling. Also, Swamp Thing is only Swamp Fang in all of my notes. Naturally. The notebooks, that's what one of them says while holding the notebooks. And I was like, really, thia thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thing, thing, thing, thing, thing, thi, thi, thi, thi, th of them says while holding the notebooks. And I was like, really, you're gonna explain that part to me.

I see you holding the notebooks. Explain something else. Before Linda's untimely demise, when she puts the notebook in the safe and pat it, and once we're like, the camera is inside the safe and we see her pat it, we're like, yes, Wes, Gray, but we know that this this this this this this that this is going to come back up later. He's like, we're tapping it. Tapping it. Wes! God bless you, Wes Craven.

So I like, at this point, turn to Rob and asked for some clarification on who all these people were and how this all went down, and he tried to explain it to me and then was just like, I don't know comic books. Which, which, which, thu which thu which thu which thu- thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, thi, thi, th- th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus. thus. thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yes, th. Yes, th. Yes, th. Yes, th. Yes, thi, th. Yes, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. Yes, thi. Yes, theeea. Yes, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to theea. Yes, I don't know comic books. Which is really like the explanation for this film. For sure, for sure. For sure. Like, and it also felt like West Craven had an obligation to make this film. Yeah, I don't, this could not have been his choosing. It might have been.

Who knows? It just felt like an obligation movie. It does. You know this movie th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, the, the, the, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, th, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, thi, thr. And, thr. And, thr. thr. thr. thr. tho. tho. too. too. too. too. to, to, to, to, totwo sequels, right? I know that there's Return of Swamp Thing. I don't think I realize it was another. There's another Swamp Thing. There's two television series, the one that you watch and then a newer one. I guess there was one just a couple years ago that like, shushed, like, thrown. thii's thii. thi's don't know what your deal like, you're just... Can I ask a clarification question about Swamp Thing? Yes. Can he fuck? Apparently, he kept trying to get his branch scraped while she was like taking a bath and stuff.

That's what I'm asking. Is he sad because he can't fuck, or is he sad because he won't fuck? fucked fuck. I wanted to see like just like a stamen pop out of the front of him and be like, can you do anything with this? Can someone pollinate this please? A bee lands on it he's like, oh yeah. I thought Georgia Keefe stuff would be much sexier if I lived it. As for all you art heads out there. Got that one. Our paintings are vaginas. I saw, I think it was an onion headline, this is relevant to our interests, that was... What's that douchebague who's never made his wife of?

Ben Shapiro? I can't stop thinking about it. You told me about this? I will never stop thinking about it. Ben Shapiro accuses Georgia O'Kee's paintings of looking like nothing. Oh, that guy sucks. Never seen a vagina in his life. That sucks, too. That is just such a funny headline to put together. Well, God. Someone put that, like, put that together and they just closed their laptop and was like,

I'm out for the day. Victory lap. Yeah. So, uh, so now the military men are hunting down the last notebook and Adrian Barbo. Cable. Yeah, I only refer to her as Adrian Barbo. Or she's A.B in all of my notes. Gotcha.

They try to drown her? Oh my god. Which is such an inefficient way to murder when you're covered in guns. Sure. Why are they taking the risk? Because we're supposed to believe that ferret is just a malicious human being. He's pretty cruel. Yeah, because he was the guy who, if you remember when the guy in the beginning got bit by a snake, it came out of the toe at his pocket. Oh, that's right. I did forget about that. He was a pocket snake. Not that he was a pocket. Pocket snake. Not that he was a pocket. tho. Poe. Poe. Poe. Poe. Poe. Poe. Poe. Po. Po. Po. He. Po. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was. He. He. He. He. He. He was. He. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He was. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He was a th. He bite you, son of a bitch? I know. I know. I know. And then he has like this big fucking cigar in his mouth leaning over the edge of the boat going, say hello to your boyfriend baby. With this like gold

earring glinting in the sunlight, his gold hoop. And David Hess is like so unforgivingly from New York City. Yeah. It's like you do not belong in a to to No, you would not survive a minute in a swamp. But David Hess gets to say hello to her boyfriend because Swamp Thing jumps out of the water and tosses him around. He does toss him around. She fucking nearly drowns her hair doesn't move. I love how shitty swamp thing looks. I don't think he looks that bad. It's obviously some kind of wet suit with vegetation glued to it. I think it looks... Eh. I mean in the grand scheme of monster things it's fine. It's fine. Yeah it's fine. His face is tough to look at. Why is his nose so pointy? He's molded to have like this super compassionate look on his face at all time? Yeah, he's listening to you talk to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to to their to to their to their their th th thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thi thinks thi their thi thi thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks their their their their their their their their thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks tho tho tho to to to tho to to tho to thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooes to to thoes thoes to have like this like super compassionate look on his face at all times. Yeah, he's listening to you talk about your problems without trying to touch your leg.

You know what I mean? Although he will peep on you while you're taking a bath in the woods. And either will jerk off or won't jerk off, depending on whether or not he cannot fuck, I just need to know. Listen, where will Famule and the listenersersersersersersersersersersersers th is to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to need to know. Listen, we're all family's listeners. If you have seen another swamp thing movie and he does fuck in it, could you let us know? I think that's swank thing. You're thinking a swank thing. I just keep getting them mixed up. I just, it's fucking for him just walking outside and going, Pahah! Into the air? Enjoy, world! I mean, like, well, that's the question, enjoy world. I mean, like, well, that's the question, right?

Because he's basically what we're told from the science of this is that it's plant DNA with an animal nucleus. So, is he, does he, at one point we do see him get energy from the environment, like the sun? Yes. He does. Reach for, reach for for it. Reach for the sun. Reach for the light. But does his animal DNA require him to also eat food? Because he doesn't seem to have an asshole is what I'm saying. Because if you eat, you have to shit. Does he shit? Does swamp things shit? Does he fuck? Does he shit? I need to know. I don't know. Does he exude oxygen when he breathes? Is he more plants or more animal when it comes to life's basic processes? Because when he gets his arm hacked off later on in the movie, he doesn't

bleed? He ain't got time to bleed. Then he does regenerate a stick arm that makes me giggle so much when it comes pop it out. But it's like, is that his boner? Nope, nope, nope, nope, that's a stick. It's just a stick. This movie is very reminiscent of Predator in a lot of ways, which as you know, I think is the stupidest movie ever made. The only time you didn't go back, you fell asleep and then didn't rewind to see what you missed. I love you for that. I'm like, it's a long one.

Remember Carl Weathers arm got shot off? No, what was that? Someday I'll see it. I have seen a, it doesn't matter. You've seen arrested development, you've seen his arm get shot off. Yeah, it happens in arrested development. They've played that footage multiple times. I love Carl Weathers.. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, like, I'm like, like, like, th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, thi, that, thi, thi. the thea. thea. thea. the. the happens in arrest of development. They play that footage multiple times. Love Carl Weathers. Uh-huh, uh-huh. RIP, Jessica Walters. Oh, God, what a funny lady. Yeah, so funny. Yeah. The world is worse without her. It's true. It's true. Uh, we cut to Dr. Is he Dr. Arcane or just? Just Arcana? Okay, he's not educated. We don't ever even learn his first name. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Uh. Uh, th. th. th. Uh, th. Uh, th. Uh, th. Uh, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh, the their. Uh, their. Uh, their. Uh, th. Uh, th. Uh, th. Uh, th. Uh, th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thr-I. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. I th. R. R. R. R. R. R. I the Arcane. Okay, he's not educated. We don't ever even learn his first name. Okay, Arcane is in, I guess, his house with like a

sweet-faced young woman. That was, I don't know if at the time, but they were married in 1982. West Craven's wife, Mimi. Oh, Mimi. She's lovely. Very young, though, for West Craven. I can see how she got this part then. The world will bow or starve, she says. And he's like, I can't sleep, I'm trying to sleep, I can't sleep, and she's like, have some coffee. And it's like maybe it's the all-hours coffee that's the reason you can't sleep. I was so annoyed she hands him a cup to the tape. I was like, you can't throwne. I'm tho, I'm tho, I'm so tho, I'm so tho, I'm so tho, I tho, I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I'm so thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, I thi. thi, I thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaa. theeeeeea theeeeea theeeethe the plate underneath the coffee and he just takes the coffee cup and I was like you rude motherfucker leave that saucer in her hand there is a name for that plate I was trying to feed it to you

delicately I'm gonna go with having COVID a vaccination brain it doesn't matter but he's it's so like can he just like pick up the coffee company, he's like, Mar-mar-marr-marr-mah. I love that coffee. I don't know what he's saying. Something about the world will bower, starve, I don't know. His whole thing is he wants like ultimate power and in mortality. Okay. Right? Like, that's what all bad guys want? I think it is. That sounds awful to be in charge of everything and have to to to to to thiiiiiii. to to be everything. to to to be everything. to their thi. their thi. thi. their thi. thi. their thi. thoomomomorrow. thoomorrow. to be thoomorrow. thi. thoomorrow. to to thoomomomomorrow. I'm thoomomomorrow. I'm th. I'm tho. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I'm the. I'm the. I'm to to to tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I'm the. I the. I the. I think it is. That sounds awful to be in charge of everything and have to be forever? Yeah, but you know, you could get all the stuff you want to get done, done. The stuff I want is like mostly socialism though, which is not conducive to power holding. It's true, it's true, as we've seen around the world. Uh-huh.

But it's just, it's so like, it's so silly. And like, dude, you're already obviously fucking rich. What is your like, why do you need the plant food? What, uh, is he, are his goals, uh, benevolent? No, no, no, no, no, no. So why does he want the plant food if not to feed the world? He wants it because it to turns you into a super monster man Possibly I mean possibly But it also might not But it might that's true it does briefly turn him into a dutu beast. Oh my god

Then he molts out of shit chrysalis. It is insane. So Adrian Barbeau rolls up on like a convenience store. She's nearly drowned. She pulls a dime out of her pocket. I love that. Then she reaches back in and gets a quarter for the soda machine. She did not, she just had all that change in there. Sure, those jeans were tight, man, that change isn't followed out. I guess you're right. And she meets Jude, who seems to be working slash living at the gas station alone. He is 12, 13? Easily, yeah, yeah. He's also extremely mumble-mouth.

He's doing a lot of like sassy talking. But the child actor playing him is adorable. I love him. He's so cute. When he shows up, I was like, fuck, I forgot about this kid. He's great. Oh, you've seen this film before. Oh, for sure. OK, you still don't know how what happened. I know what happened.

I see, I see. No, I saw this. Oh wait, you weren't. Cut that, please. Wow, that's bananas. So yeah, it's been a minute since I've seen this. In this scene, Adrian Barbeau is trying to call Ritter, but didn't she see arcane rip off Ritter's and then say Ritter's been dead a long time? Maybe you're not going to get him on the horn on the horn on the horn on the horn on the horn on to get him on the horn on to get him on the horn on to get him on the horn on to get him on the horn on the horn on to get him on to get him on the horn on you're not going to get him on the horn. Wait, was that guy Ritter or was the guy that she showed up with Ritter? I thought Ritter... You might be right. I think Ritter's face got ripped off. He's the man of indeterminate, like colonialist. It just doesn't make any sense. No, it does not. Okay. Because she saw her buddy get murdered as well.

Because the gray-haired guy that she shares. Oh, Charlie. Yes. Charlie. Because she, she, she, like, when all the shit's going down at first and she like, they's like, thanks, theyke's out running like, what? And she's like, thanks, man. Thanks, man. And she's, she's, she's, she's, th. thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, th. thinks, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thinks, th. th. th. th. thinks, thinks, thinks, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th th thi. th th th th th th in the house over there. And she's like, thanks, ma'am. And Jake's out running, like, what?

No, that's part of the movie. We're writing it in. He's in the house over there. Also, when Adrian Barvaux makes the phone call from the gas station, fucking Arcane is able to perfectly mimic the guy she'd be calling in Washington, D.C. No, he's being Ritter. Oh, is he being Ritter? Yeah, he had been all the time he sits up and starts doing the Ritter voice.

Okay, I was very confused about that. At the end of this, he hangs up and is like, how they have to capture swamp thing and he's like he doesn't exactly maintain a low profile and then it cuts to swamp thing just screaming at the sky this is by far my favorite scene in the movie I think my favorite scene is the 30 seconds of panning across stump like stumpy trees in the swamp that they use five times throughout this movie. They set up a very small portion of a swamp. I did like the swamp cemetery like churchyard thing.

I thought that was cool. Very creepy. So, uh, Arcane and his gang show up at the gas station and attack. And again, Adri Adriabro is amazing in this she's like flipping over the counter and like beating dude's asses. She is very cool. She's great. She says something to do like we have we've got the seventh diary or the seventh notebook we just have to get it to Washington.

The rest isn't my business and I just kept being like madam what is your business? Government work baby? It's just bureaucracy, I guess. Pushing papers, red tape, I don't know. Craven weird ferrets out of green goo. Whatever that thing was, that they pulled out of the early end. It was like a possum? I don't know. Why was it in there?

He's so mean to her about it too. He's like, reach in their their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tooom, to to to tooom, tooom, tooom, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to too, too, too, tho. tho. the. the. the. the thi thi. the thi. the toooooooo's like a what? But I mean, you know as well as I do. That when you meet a man and he's rude to you, Sparks gone fly. Is that true? Sparks gonna fly. Yeah, I think that's negging. Oh, God. Yeah, he's a pickup artist. Ray Wise, original Negging Man. Negging Man. What are those swamp boats called that have like the big propeller fans?

I think the fanboats? Fanboats? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to ride on one. I don't want to drive one because I would immediately do it wrong and flip it somehow. I want to try to flip it, I think is my goal. According to this movie they're made completely of gasoline. Yeah I like how you can't even bump them or they'll blow to high heaven. Can't cannot make contact with another one. All of the special effects in this movie felt like

they were directly out of an A-team episode. It was just like we got explosives we're going to explode. Everything's going to blow up no matter what it is all the time, even a man running. Can I tell you another thing I really liked? Yes. Which is Jude telling Adrian Barbeau that they can get her a change of clothes in the trapper's cabin over there and then what she ends up wearing is like, I mean like it's a this shirt that's super low-cut and fitted to her body like good thing the trapper's cabin is th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th-upin, th-upin, tho-upin, th-upy-upy, th-upi-upi-upi-upi-upi-upi-upi-up, thu-s, thu-s, thu-s, thu-s, thu-s, thu-s, th. th. th. th. th, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s, thi-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-a-s'-s'-a-s'ee'e'e'e'nudgudgudgudgudgudgude, thudguuu the trapper is also a thin but busty woman. The trapper's cabin was a 579 before it was the trapper's cabin. I don't know what that means. It's a woman's clothing store for sizes 5, 7 and 9. Is that true? That's junior sizing. I think so. It was at the mall when I was a kid. That's rude. That's rude. What is a 3 here. A their. A their. A their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a t. It was a t. It was a tape. I was a tape. I was a tape. I was a tape. I was. I was. I was. I was a th. I was What if you're? A 3, 11, 1, a 13? I could be misremembering why it was named that.

It seems like a bad business model to focus on sizing like that. Hyper-specific. Hyper-specific. But it was the same mall that had a store that was completely dedicated to fitted baseball caps. So, I mean, hyper-sensiscipicity. You know, that was a thing though. Yeah, probably probably probably probably probably still still still still still still still still still still still still stillthough. Oh, I know. Yeah, probably still is. I don't know what hats. I mean, Fred Durst is still alive.

He is. And that man loves a fitted baseball game. You know, Fred Durs was in a horror movie that's not terrible. That can't be true. It's actually not terrible. What does a movie directed? I don't know. I saw something about Fred Diverse, Fred Derst, Fred Ders diverse. Diverse, Fred Derst, he's so diverse. Diverse, he fell off the warse. He was directing a movie with Chautier Volta and I was like, well, I'm never going to see that. I followed Fred Durst's weight loss blog for a while. you so far. It fills you up but it makes you smell.

It's the problem with hot dog water. It's like doing a cleanse like, yeah, you're going to feel like shit and shit everywhere. No that's it. But you're also going to smell like hot dogs. Like Christina Aguilera. Well, you leave that poor woman alone. I don't, I'm not, I'm just repeating what I was told in high school because she went to my rival high school and everyone said she smelled like hot dogs. Who doesn't love a hot dog? I love hot dogs.

It's a nice day. I'm gonna grow some hot dogs later. Put a little mustard and relish on this boy's, hell yeah. Yeah. Into infinity. So there's a sad moment in this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie the movie the movie. the movie. the the the the the the the thoom. I's a thoom. I'll thoom. I's tooom. I's. I'll too. I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'll tooom. I's, I'll tooom. I's, I's, I's, I's, I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's is is. I's is. I's is. I I's is. I's is. I's is. I's is to to to to to to to to to to to to too. I's too. I's too. I'll to to to to to to to to to to to to too. I'm to toe. I'm toe. I'm to to toe. I'm to to to to to to to to this movie where you think Jude has been killed because he's face down in the boat all bloody. And I was really sad about this because I didn't realize that Swamp Thing had the powers of rejuvenation or resurrection perhaps. That scene, which, the reveal is sad. But when she gets out of the boat, hands him the notebook, walked around a tree, and you hear Drew go, oh no!

Cabel! And she's like, that's probably nothing. And then the boat floats out and he is face down and bloodied in the boat. They're just like, who? How? And why? No? No, don't know. And they're just gone. Where are these people who beat his ass? I think it was Bruno just just like slipping back into camouflage. But did he bungee out of the tree? Whoop his ass take the notebook and leave? Yes, you're not a paramilitary guy, are you? It's true. Repelling is a big thing for them. That's true. They catch cable and take her on a boat. Yeah, I don't know where they're taking

her to Arcane's house maybe? I don't know. He's on the boat, he's on the boat so never mind. Yeah the boat that has a candelabra on and a wine decanter. I was like, is this paramilitary this this this this this this this this this the para the para the para the para the para the the their their their their their their their their is their is their is their. I their. I their. I th is th. th. And th. I th is th is th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. It th. It. It. It. It. It's th. It's th. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's. It's their. It's. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's th. It's th. It's th. person named ferret. Well, ferret, I think, is just a basking in a luxurious cloak of arcane's lifestyle. That's fair. Yeah, yeah, it's good. Well, whatever she needs them right in the balls and then dives off the bone. So cool. Very cool. But of course she gets caught again immediately. I even know if there's just cable, cable, and then in parentheses, tha, tha, the the the the they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, that's that's they, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, there's just cable cable and then in parentheses gets decapitated but I don't know who got decapitated.

Uh, uh, there's a scene where a swamp thing crushes David Hess's head. Yeah, he squeezes him to death. I have that. Yeah, it doesn't matter. Who fucking cares? And then Arcane's like, Bruno's like, we gotta look for ferret, and Arcane's like, nah, we're going home. And Bruno's like, okay. Okay. I mean, I want to go home most of the time too when I'm somewhere. I'm internally a small man. Yeah.

I'm a small man. Then, A.B. A.B wakes up being by the most comfortable way to rest. This feels ecchy to me. Especially when his legs moves and you can just see like the neoprene rubber like bunching up in his crotch. Oh, maybe he doesn't have a dick. Maybe. You're welcome.

So she wakes up and she's like, oh my god, it's Alec. And like, you did not love this man. I feel like you met him yesterday. They kissed with tongue. Once. With tongue, Katie. There are a million people I've kissed with tongue that I would not go into a swamp thing. Well, their a their a million their a million their their their tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha th. There th. There tho. There are a tho. There are a million tho. There are a million thoom. There are a million thoom. There are a million thoom. There are a million thoom. There are a million thoom. There are are are a million thoom. There are a million thoom. There are a million thoom. There are a million people tho. There are a million people tho. There are a million tho. There are a million tho. There are a million tho. There are a million tho. There are a million tho. There are a million tho. There are a million thi. There are a million thi. There thi. There are a million tho. There are a million people thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. There that I that I that I that I would not go into a swamp for. Well, you don't have that kind of...

I don't. I kept being like, don't kiss him. Don't kiss the swamp thing. A, he doesn't have lips. Don't do it. She could barely stop her from kissing the swamp thing. But like, you met this guy yesterday, I feel like you'd be like, well, it was really nice meeting you, but I've got to get to get to get to get to get to meet to meet to meet to meet to meet a a to meet a to meet a to meet a to meet a to meet a to meet a to meet a to meet a nice, to meet a to meet a nice, to meet a nice, to meet a nice, to meet a nice, to meet a to to I've got to get back. For sure. Yeah. There's, thinking back, there's no person that I've kissed in my life that if they immediately turn into a swamp monster, I'd be like, we're together forever.

What about Missy? First time? First time, smooch. Okay, I thought, what if she turned into a swamping? I'm already half-swamping and she stays with me. That's true. You are pretty swampy. A lot of farting. That's not what I meant. So she's like bathing in the swamp, which is crazy because we've been told it's completely infested

with like gators and snakes. And she's just in their tits to the wind. It's PG. A PG film. I know PG. 13 hadn't been invented yet. But like, PG-G-. How can you have titties in a PG-mov? Pretty great, P-G? Pretty great.

Pretty great! Is he jerking it? And that's he and you think? He's a purve, a hundred percent. Is he a purve or is he like winsome? I could have had them titties, dog. These titties could have been mine. Instead, I'm here with my, I lived all this time with my dumb, dumb sister who wore a locket with the pictures of us and it, even though we work together.

She had a picture of herself and him. Her brother, with whom she works. It's not like he's dead. You see each other every damn day. It opens the lock and is like, you might know me from this photograph, but this is also my brother, who's right there next to me all. This is my brother, you've met my brother, our father, his things. He's a dick.

He's gonna make you pull some kind of rodent out of some green goo. Ah, such a dick. But she, like, just mind boggling that she loves him. Mind boggling. Mind boggling. Jesus. So they do like a classic capture technique with a net in the tree and it works. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And someone says, I think this is Arcane who says this.

The man who loves gives hostages to fortune. Uh-huh. And I wrote that down because I have no fucking thi thuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that that that that that that that that. that that that. that. that that. that that. that thii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theiiiia. theiiia. thea. thea. thea. thea. thia. that's thi. thi. thhuh. And I wrote that down because I have no fucking clue what it means and I kept thinking about it Trying to figure it out. Well, she says to Swamp thing Adrian Barbados You knew you were going to get caught and he says yes So she is a, you know, um, illuminating that thought from Arcane that he knew that even though he was going to get caught he still to try to save her. The man who loves gives hostages to fortune. Arcane is Fortune. She is now a hostage.

He loves. His love has captured him. Got it. I don't know. It's not a great metaphor. I mean he's a master criminal, not a poet. It's true. These get very like Chinese fortune cookie, because then the small things like, the only way out is through.

It's through? And that's something, but I can't remember what that is, but it's like, what are you? Why? No, it's not? Is it? Well, I thought that I remember thinking that while I was in the only way I'm going to get through this is like by just continuing. Sure, sure. But it didn't work. It wasn't a great mantra. You couldn't, but also you couldn't be like, well I'm going to finish this later. Yeah, I think I'll take a nap. Is there like a patch you could put on that to just hold? Yeah, I just, yeah. Could we just have like, could I take five? I need, th. th. th. th. the the the th. the th. the the the th. the the the the th. the the the th. the the that, the that, the that, that, the only, th. th. th. that, the only, the only that, but the only that, but th. the only th. the only th. th. th. th. But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, th. th. th. th. th. the the th. th. the only, the only, th. th. th. th. the only, th. th. tho. the only, the only the only the only tho. the only the only the only the only the only the only the only thoo. th. thooo. th. tho. tho. th. quick lap around the room and then we'll get right back to the candy bar and a nap

and then we can check this out. This Snickers is not satisfying! So they're at a dinner scene where they've dressed Adrian Barbeau in an evening gown and tie her to a chair. There's, I don't know, 25 people there? Are they all okay with this woman being tied up the people. Why? 100% because they're all evil. So while they're all standing around and giving a toast about Bruno, it turns out that Arcane has given him the formula to see what will happen, which is a real dick move. Listen, everybody else is drinking out a clear wine

glasses and you get a silver goblet, look in the goblet. Look in the goblet. Look in the fucking goblet. This, you know, even in midsummer, if you recall, there was a clear glass, didn't look at it, just downed it. Yeah. Think about that. Think about it and look at it. And Bruno is also rocking a like, like a tan tunnec turtle neck that's very form fitting with his pants hiked very high up and very tightly belt in and I was like it's okay to be chubby dog just embrace it just embrace it he looks like Olaf the snowman from frozen and he's like oh oh and this guy's like what is the matter with you and it's like what do you fucking think so matter with him clearly he's been poison and she's like are you gonna try it on yourself and he goes no I'm trying it on a Bruno.

Suddenly he's Dracula and they're all okay with this too everyone's like this is a bit upsetting but I'm gonna stay and watch I liked at one point Bruno started leaking there was just like fluid coming out of it is that part of his essence too? So what we're told is that I don't remember who tells tel tel tel tel tel tel th is th. they. th. they. th. th. It's is th. It's is th. It's is th. It's is th. It's is. It's. It's. It's. told. told. told. told. told. th. told. to be. to be. to be. to be. Bruno. Bruno. Bruno. Bruno is. Bruno is. Bruno is. Bruno is. Bruno is. Bruno is. Bruno is. Bruno. Bruno. Bruno. Bruno. Bruno. Bruno. Bruno. Bruno. Bruno. Bruno.................................. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. to. t. t. t. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. th. the. the. the. the. the. of his essence too? So what we're told is that, I don't remember who tells us this. Oh, it's Swamp Thing. Swamp Thing. Yeah, when he's chained up to the X in the basement, which is funny because he only has one arm? Yeah, wait now. And the Arcane's like, oh, what does it do to tell a little sexy secrets to each other. They are, they do talking delset tones.

And something's like, it chose your essence. And it's like, dog? Your essence was a tickless plant man. Big strong plant man who can't fuck. Or can he? Who may or may not shit? So Bruno's essence was a small man. Right, he becomes a tiny like mouse man. What do you think your essence would be? Oh I don't know.

I imagine I'd drink it and look exactly the same, be like, nailed it! I think I would be very flaky and then the wind would blow and all the flakes would blow away and it'd be like well she died as she lived, kind of flaky. Wait, do you think inside you're just a bag of dry leaves? I just think of a flaky person in general. I'm like, I don't feel like doing that last minute, you know? I do not know you to be that way. Well, I don't want to have a cool essence. I want to be a lack of sunlight?

Like, it's a chlorophyll problem? Yep. Okay. He can't grow his arm out because he can't touch the sun. Right. Reach for it. Reach for it. He does.

He reaches for it. Meanwhile, arcane takes the formula, and then his hands get really big. And I was like, oh, his essence is heavy-handed. No, it's ham-fisted. What is it? I did like that, because his hands get big, and then his fingernails pop off? Yeah, that's cool. And I was like, ew, gross.

Ew, that is super gross. Meanwhile, Swamp thing is just thiiiiiw, just just just just just justplants I've just let die in front of me, you know. But you just got to make a reach for it. You just got to run in and you'll reach for it? Reach for it. So this is him reaching for it is intersplice with arcane's transformation into like a fiery shit cocoon. When there's like a shot of him staring into the mirror and he just says like poop on his head and a lot of hair. Yeah. you. you. You you. You you. You you you you you you you you you you you you you you you th. Yeah, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you just th, you just th, you just th, you just th th th th thi, you just to to thi, you just to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th, you just just just just just just just just th, you just th, you just th, you just th, you just th th th th the, you just thi the, you just the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th's like a shot of him staring into the mirror and he just says like poop on his head and a lot of hair.

Yeah, well he didn't have that much hair to begin with. Nope. No, no, no. Oh, do we mention that? The guy who plays Swamp Thing, who's played Swamp Thing and like all the TV show, and the TV show, yeah, the Dick thick-D-D-D-D-D-D-I-I-I-oh-oh-oh-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-in-is-is-is-is-is-is-is-is-is-is-is-is-is-is-is-is-is-is-is-is-is-is, is is is is is thi is thi is thi is thi-in is thi-in is is thi-i-i-i-i-i-i-y thi-y thi-he he is is is is is thi, he he is is is thi, he is is is thi, thi, thi, thi is is is is thi is thi-in is thi-in is thi-in is thi-in is thi-in is thi-in is thi-in is thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, th-s. th-s. th-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s. th-y-s. The Dick Rock, you know that Dick Do Rock. Dick, my Dick, Do Rock. Yeah, I know I love that. You have to point out why you say that. Do Rock. He doesn't need a Dick, a Swamp Thing because he's Dick Do Rock. I don't need a Dick, I'm living it.

So Swamp Thing's arm grows back and it's just like a stick comes out of his stump. Oh my god. And then these fingers unfold from it. This little baby hand? A stick with a baby hand? It looked like one of those backscratchers you'd get at the beach, you know? It was a tiny arm. I would have loved that. Oh it doesn't though it grows into a foolman swamp thing arm. During the duration of of arcane

becoming where will fiddillo? What the fuck is he? I just wrote ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Because that was my reaction. He, as emotive as the face of swamping is, his face is just these dead yellow eyes in like a warthog head. It looked straight out of the alien factor. Oh for sure. It just like was that quality of creature. Like what was that meant to tell you about his essence? That he has a hard carapace and really dead eyes. Really dead eyes. Well that's okay. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. That's okay. For all my dead-eyed friends out there.

Yeah. So Bruno takes him to the indoor swamp because you would definitely have an indoor swamp. Well sure, well that's the well that's the well that feeds the water system in the house. And when they go outside through it, and it's just like smoky bubble water, and I was like, why? What is this? Why would you do that? Why though? Who can say? And Bruno's just like, Bruno is now being played by a small actor, a little person,

and but it's still Bruno's voice doing the word. And he's saying all this like really punny shit and it's like, I'm so glad that this whole thing hasn't changed your sense of humor, Bruno. He trips our cane. And yells like, Fiddleddy, dittldy. He's like, have a nice trip. See, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see. See, see. See, see. See, see. See, see. See, th. See. See. See. See. See. See. See. t, t, t, t, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. A, th. A, th. A, th. A, th. A, th. A, th. A, th. A, th. A, th. A. A. A. A, th. A. A. A. A. A. A, th. A. A. A. A. A. A. A, th. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. Al-dee. He's like, have a nice trips. See you next fall! Ha ha ha! You're like, you should be devastated. Like, your head has been turned into like the shape of a lemon with a ridge on it, you know? It's so weird. It's so weird that Swamp Thing had no existential crisis about what his life has become. No, he really embraces being Swamp Thing.

Sure. Except for screaming at the sky, I guess. Well, that's because he lost the hubbubies. He, the fact that he knows he has regenerative powers for human beings is bizarre to me. He knows it within minutes of becoming Swamp Thing. So a fight breaks out between Swamp Thing and WhereW Farmer Dillow Man. The sound effects in that scene of him hitting the water with a sword are just fucking bad shit. It's insane.

It's like, why if you're this like hard-skinned monster, would you like, well, I gotta grab a sword. I don't know. And also in this scene, you also realize that Swamp Thing really can't turn his head. No, no, that thing is locked in place. So shitty. So during the fight, Adrian Barbeau ends up getting stabbed in the chest. In the tit, let's say, let's call a spade, right in the titty. And Swamp Thing beats the bad guy to death,

and then pulls off some of his chest moss and puts it on her boob? Just cups a boob to heal her with some of his chest moss. And then he just keeps cupping that boob. I don't know if he has to, but he does. A lot of boob cupping. You gotta leave that bandaid on. I guess. Dick Do Rock was making sure that he's making sure that he... to carry her. And Swamp thin' loves loves loves loves hea hea hea hea hea, their hea, hea, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th their th th th. th th th th th th their th their their their their to their with their with their with their with some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some. It, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, t. It, t. It, t. It, t. It, t. So, t. So, t. So, t. So, t. So, t. Yeah, t. Yeah, t-s. Yeah, t-s. Yeah, t-s. Yeah, t-s, t. Yeah, to carry her, but maybe she doesn't need to wear heels everywhere, because she's wearing heels for this entire film. I love that when he's carrying her and she's like totally broken, she makes her to throw an armor on the back of his head. Damsel in distress. And then she tells him that she'll be his hands, because we've seen him trying to do science glass but yet can gently cup a boob. Motorcycle. Slow ride. Mow, meow, meow, meow.

Mow. When he's, I forgot about the science scene. He goes back to the lab to do science. Just got to do his science work with his science tools. To go through science motions to see if he could do the science. Everything's like burnt and it's like, of course that glass is going to break. It was recently a fire. Seems very brittle.

And he's just like smaching and a little bit creature from the Black Lagoon. And he's just like, no. He's screaming. He's just very articulate too like he starts talking to her about orchids and telling her you know the scientific name which repeating something he'd said to her the day before. And that's how she's like I gotta fuck this plant now. Oh I just love to fuck a plant. I just love him yesterday, go home. You play him a boyfriend. His response

to I'll be your hands is, nah. Nah. He has no need of her. I don't get it. We're good. I'll be fine. I'm just going to do this instead, this being question mark. Walk into the swamp. It's his thing. Meanwhile, you're like, where the fuck has Jude been and he just pops off from behind a tree? Hey, how's it going? And she's like, now you're my little boy. And the movie ends. Q, bad television credits. Yep. Oh boy, what a roller coaster. What a swamp thing. And at one point, Arcane names him swamp thing. He's like that's swamp thing. What a swamp thing. And at one point, Arcane names him swamp thing. He's like that's swamp thing. Like that was clever. And I wanted to be like, oh look at Bruno, he's now a tiny thing. Tiny. Now you are a shit thing.

Senseless. What do you think they were making the Chrysalis thing for him to come out of? West Craven got mad he's like I don't give a shit what it looks like. And they were like fucking fine then not paying us our day rate. Katie. Alan. Can you can we go? Ratings face? Let's rate this thing. You want to go first? Sure. Oh I loved it. It's like a terrible delight. It's a terrible. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. th. th. the th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the. the the the the. the. the the. the. the the. the. the. the. I loved it. It's like a terrible delight. You know what you mean? It's a terrible delight and delightfully terrible. I think it's saved by the acting of Adrian Barbo. And honestly, I thought the guy being swamped thing was pretty good. Dick Dick. Dick Do Rock. I would say to Ride, but that's not right. Ride's shotgun. You know, it's fucking nonsense, bad shit, doesn't make a lick of sense. I really liked it. That's awesome.

Gonna give it a seven and a half. Yeah. It's a bad, bad movie. Like this is why our ratings system is so fucked because I'm giving it a high score because I had so much fun watching it but it's terrible. I saw that some people were doing episode recaps on Reddit and they were trying to rate it themselves and they're like this doesn't make any sense. I don't know how to do this. No why this is all my fucking fault the the first episode we recorded warlock we did not do a rating. We the the weigh. We the weigh. We the the the we. We the the the th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi. the. th. th. th. th. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. the. I the the the thee thee theee theeeeee. I thee. I the. I the. I the. I about it. And then I was like, I don't know, Alan, I think it needs a rating, we gotta go back and re-record the end. And now here we are, 350 episodes later, still putting on this charade. So for me, there was a little bit of don't go back and revisit things from her childhood?

Because I loved this movie when I was 10. Uh-huh. It's a fucking goof troop festival. That's to me to me to me thi thi thi thi thi thi. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thoom. tho' thi thi. thi tho' tho' tho' tho' tho-a' tho' tho' thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. We's th. I th. We's th. I thi. We're thi. I thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thiiiiiiiiiiii. I's thi. I thi. We're thop festival. That's what's great about it to me. Yeah, it's goofy as hell. I think it is a testament to the directing of West Craven that it was at all enjoyable. You think so. Yeah, I think he like, I think early on I talk some mad shit on West Craven, I need to take that back as I've been doing for years now. I think he's actually a really decent director. And and like you know David Hess is thoroughly enjoyable as the baddest of bad guy ferret. He's just like 100% bad yeah. Yeah and it's very comic bookie I'm gonna give it a six. Nice. Yeah you've could there's worse ways to spend your time. Oh way worse we've done it recently I saw we've th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi's thi thi. thi's thi's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. thea. thea. to. thea. to. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the. th's worse ways to spend your time a way worse We've done it recently. I saw we got a review recently where they were like do you like anything everything's been a one lately and it's like because I took on bridge to that because I took on bridge to that

But it was like right after we had done Freaky psycho goorman yeah, things we liked what did we do last week? God. I don't know I don't know either. Who knows? th? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the the. the they they're like like like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. they're like. last week? God, I don't know. I don't know either. Who knows? Uh, wasn't Bye-By-Man? No, it was Bye-By-Man. No, it wasn't. That was two weeks ago. It wasn't. That was before Bye-by-Man.

Literally, what did we do? I don't know. Hold on. Seriously. I just, what? This is bad. This is how my brain has been working lately. You know, you have an excuse. I'm just a bud light lime in. Uh, bird with a crystal bloomage.

Bird with the crystal bloomage, which we liked. Yeah. Yeah, come on. Arguably, I loved it. Arguably you did. Arguably you still do. Yeah, well, whatever. People think I don't like anything, it's fine. I think that that is just at this point, people just assume that we didn't like a thing.

That's harsh, man. And I would be interested to see if that is indeed the case. I think this is why, the problem is that with that ratings face, I gave bad movies low ratings. Yeah. But I like like tha tha th. th. th. th. th. th like th. th like I like th. T th. I like th. I like th. T th. I like th. I like th. T th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I that that that thi thi thi thi that, I that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that is why that is why that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that that is that that that that that that that that that that thathea. I that, I that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that ratings face, I gave bad movies low ratings. Mm-hmm. Yeah. But I like them. Well, forget it. Katie. Alan. Speaking of things, thinks. to a patron.

Please. This is from Ben from Minnesota. Hi Ben from Minnesota. I will call it Ben a soa. Ben. Minnesota? No, that doesn't work, here's his right. Let me have my thing. His request is that we please tell listeners not to litter. Oh my God, yes.

Yeah. I think I mentioned this, maybe it was on the action movie podcast, I can't remember, but when I ask Lucy who litters, she says people without a future. And just to put it out a little clarification. the cigarette butts litter, y' th. I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the th. the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the. the. the. the the. out a little clarification, cigarette butts or litter y'all. I you know that is honestly my biggest regret about smoking is not with the damage I've done to my body or wallet but the fact that I just for so many years flicked cigarettes into the street I feel terrible about it. So don't litter. He also says thank you. Also would Katie and Allen consider watching Better Off Dead for an April Fools? Better off dead?

The movie? The movie? The film? I mean, is there a horror movie of that or is this is this going to be a fun movie? Yeah. Oh, April Fools. We do a fun movie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I might. I might. Although we can't do it now because it wouldn't be an April fool's movie. Well, you didn't have to read that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho th that tho that that that that tho tho tho tho tho tho the the the the tho tho tho tho tho the the movie. the movie. the movie. the movie. the movie. the movie. the movie. the movie. the movie. the movie. the movie. the movie. the movie. the movie. the movie. the movie. the movie. the movie. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho. tho. tho. the. the the the the the thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thoooooo Well you didn't have to read that part out loud. Oh wait we didn't book an April Fool's movie that's next week. Fuck! Is this our April Fool's movie? No, yeah. It will be, yeah. April Fool's guy, we did a horror movie. The April Fool is that our April Fool's episode is gonna drop on May 1. Here's the fun bit. Time fucking doesn't matter. I genuinely can't believe it's going to be April 1st. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This seemed like the longest and shortest winter of all time. Wow, how strange? Yeah. Yeah. Time? How is time? How is this happening though? Because we've just been living the same day for a year. Yeah.

Over and over and over. It's better for me now that my kids back in school. Yeah, yeah, now that we can be outside again. I know I'm having such a nice time. Also I feel like this is one of our best episodes in weeks and weeks because we're not just talking into a computer screen. It's true. Yeah. And going what? What did? What? What? What did you? Hold on? I need to tell Rob to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to be the the the the to be tho that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tho? tho? tho? tho? tho? thooo? thooooooooo? thoooooooo? th. thooooooooooooooooo? that that that that that th put on pants though. I couldn't wear my business pajamas. You could have. Who gives a shit? I don't know, you got a lot of people walking by. We're wearing camo shorts and a purple long sleeve shirt. I think you look great. Thank you. Katie. Alan. What do we do it next week? Let's do a new scary movie. It's called The Vigil. It Vigil. It's a 2019 movie. I think I

rented on the Amazon. Yep, a little more expensive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A little costlier, but spoilers, I think, I think, I think, I think it's worth it. Oh, la we-wee. I don't know what that means. Hi,ushing and watch the vigil. Yeah. Uh, and we'll talk about it next week. We will. Okay. Probably on a porch. We're doing it in two days.

It's going to be cold, a lot colder then. Shhh, don't tell them. I know, well, listen, our recording schedule is all messed up. weak. Wolf ambulance events in the space of what, four days? Oh, that's right. Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday? It doesn't matter. Wednesday is the, that's right. That's right. Among us, for our patrons.

We're gonna play among us on the patrons. With our patrons. I have no idea how it's gonna have. You're gonna have to make it out. All right, that one's on it. We'll do it in shifts. Okay, you're... Blue guy, get out of here. You're done. You've been here too long. You're gone. Uh, so thanks for listening to another episode of Warwoof Amulance. Bye-bye! Oh, I got you with that one. Bye-bye.

Bye. Oh Mady acts in on dead pools, Savini's sightings at the pool. No way to eight Finland's to fulfill reviews. Killing clouds and land the face. King Emily in his face. Our parents are fast in case. Please make a good in your grave. EFT. Marlboro and comedy reviews.

Hungry Brian from Wayne's and Stephen Gang. END. We look deliciously bad temperatures, obese, crissly come to date. A pair of novel activities from Mr. Rogers to eat. E.M.D. E.D. from Mr. Rogers City, EFT, EFT.