Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 336- The Ruins (2008)

Episode Date: June 14, 2021

In this week's episode, we discover that a crappy book is likely to make a crappy movie with the 2008 adaptation "The Ruins." Special topics for your consideration include: a running theme of terrible doctors named Jeff, our inability to keep a running pun throughout an episode (but also, some pretty siiiick plant-related puns), secretly wishing for vines to grow under one's skin, never wanting to travel with an Amy, and the worst choices. Just...just the worst choices. Sometimes the outdoors is the worst bad guy of all. If you agree, you might also enjoy such episodes as Episode 12- "The Happening," Episode 152- "Anaconda," Episode 168- "Arachnophobia," Episode 193- "Orca" and Episode 238- "Frogs."  Find us online: Support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance and get bonus episodes about action movies Buy merch for yourself or those you love at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance on Twitter @werebulance on Instagram @werewolfambulance. [e-mail] If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow. Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down. Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast. 

Is this hostile for plants? Is this a movie? Is this a movie? Is this a movie? Is this a movie? Is this a movie? Is this a movie? Oh my god. I have never, in all of our history of doing movies. What do you, like 15 years now?

Yeah, something like that. Been on board, off board, on board again, and then off board with a movie so much. Really? Well so my first note says 2008 and a shit-ass book my expectations are so deeply low for this film so I went in expecting nothing. So the least little something was gonna get me all excited. Sure. Yeah. I feel like this the book I remember being like oh that's a really good seed of an idea. Absolutely plant-based. Hmm. Oh should we fill this with as many plant puns as we can?

This episode is going to be called Pun intended. Oh, I'm so excited. And then the movie, or the book like, shit's the bed halfway through and you're just like, and you're like, I'll finish it, I guess. But it stops being a page turner. That's back in the day in the day in the day in the day in That's back in the day when I used to finish books that I hated. Don't do it anymore.

There's no reason to. You don't have to do that. It's like the item, just turn it off. I'm 47 years old. I don't have time for this nonsense. The clock is to ze through them. You don't want to fuck it up. Blaze it. So the movie starts off with a woman stuck in a hole screaming.

Yep. Cut to Cabawba? Yeah, it's, yeah, there's some white college students on a beach. God, Jeff's a pinchy-faced wow baby though, isn't he? I feel like I know that guy from something. You know him from Hannibal. He was the orderly who tries to kill Hannibal and when he's like, because he believes will. Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha. And he, this is our second pinchy-faced

wow baby of him because he was in the Texas chainsaw massacre with Jessica Beale. You're right. Yeah. But that was so long ago I figured you'd watched Hannibal more recently. Yeah. There's also Matthias or Matias. Matias. Uh, played by Joe Anderson who was in the crazies. Uh, who is definitely German. Is he definitely German? No, that man is definitely not German, Joe Anderson.

Sometimes he's not sure if he's supposed to be German. I was going to be like, well, I'll go with that if that's what you're telling me, I'll go. He's decidedly un-German. Ah, Schnitzel. So here's a thing. I love Jenna Malone. I love everything I've ever seen her in. What would I know Jenna Malone from? My favorite Jenna Malone movie is Saved, Oh, I've never seen that. With Mandy Moore. They're both very funny. She's Donnie Darko's girlfriend. Okay.

She was just in a lot of movies around that time. She's been an actor where she's like, there's one time when she's like sitting all scrunched up and I was like, you look 12 years old. Yeah, she does have definitely has like a 12-year-old look about her. Yeah. She does a very, very thin in this movie, it's like unsettling. I love her but her character in this movie is a shit show. Yeah. T, I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're like they're like like like like like like like like, th. I th. I that that that that that that. I that that that that that that that thrush. I that that that that th into the ocean. Yeat her into the sun? That's what I think they say. This is a definitely that in that I think hostile because it's just like oh everyone's unlikable yeah and they're going to die in ways that I'm barely interested in. Counterpoint I liked Stacy. Did you? Yeah I did. She was doing the best she could with

what she had. Sure. I feel like that her character is so much more of a character in the book and they kind of like... I don't remember her character in the book. I don't know. I feel well maybe there's just that like scene where she's freaking out goes on a lot longer in the book that it does yeah. Oh yeah maybe you right about that. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.... Yeah.... Yeah.. Yeah............... Yeah...... Yeah...... Yeah. Yeah... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. Yeah. Yeah. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the you're right about that. But we also get the full nudity from her at one point early on in the movie. Yeah, boobs and you see her butt hat. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And then later you see that she has not only a butt hat but like a between the shoulder blades tribal tattoo. Sure. And I just thought, honey, you're so of a ti.

Who does it these days? Oh my gosh. It's right next to her star tattoo. I covered mine, thank God. I don't know how I made it out of the 90s without one. I don't know how you did either. Is it too late? Yeah I don't want one. I don't need a nautical star to tell me how to get home. What if we got matching nautical star tattoos in the year 2021??? tw again. I'll get a new one. I'll get it on the other side. We have to get matching hip tattoos. Yes. Will you do this with me? Yes or no? Yeah, of course. If you want me to do a thing, I will do it. All right. Wow, anything? Yeah. Can we just lip lining? Hmm. So I have it in my head and actually I found out that I'm not the only the only inks this. Do you remember a few, maybe 10 years ago a woman got necrotizing fasciitis? I do. From a zip line? I do. So in my head, zip lines give you necrotizing fascinitis. I mean we can just do the one in North Park. Or the one of the zoo that's like zip line for Fatty's rules.

Stop. Man, my kid got so tore up on the zip line in her gymnastics class. She like had the rope tucked under her armpit and it just gave her the worst little brushburn and it scabbed in her little pity. Oh no. She was so sad about it. That's the worst. Still I want a zip line.

Anyway, I like the Greeks in this movie. I think the Greeks are excellent. Love Dimitri. I just kept thinking, oh, if I was at this hotel, I'd be so pissed. Because of the Greeks? Well, just everyone's so drunk in 23. I've never been to a resort, but I imagine that's what it's like though. Sure. Yeah. More so than I still know what you did last summer. Yes. Or weekend at Bernies, too.

Mm-hmm. Oh God, it was so good. I know what's, Focke, see, that's the thing about memories, isn't it? I still think about the dance, him dancing back to life is so good. It is so funny. And then the music stops ones he where he just comes up like groin first? Yes. You got some fucking core control there buddy. Oh I love Bernie

Lomax. I truly do. I wish there was a weekend at Bernie's three. Is it too late for that? No. I think Duane the Rock Johnson's gonna play Bernie and I'd I would watch the shit out of that. He's got all this time now that he's not in the Fast and the Fairies movies anymore. It's true. It's true. He's not doing anything else, I presume. Yeah, nothing else. So these people are terrible. Everybody sucks. You see them get drunk. Amy like throws herself at Matias while Jeff is like barely off the beach.

Yeah. It's gross. Jeff's kind of a stick in the mud. He's a stick in the mud, but she's a little harlot too, isn't she? Will not co-sign? You can't just make out with another dude when your boyfriend's just over there. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's not cool. That's that's that's that's not great. Yeah. Yeah. That's not great. Yeah. That's not great. That's not great. Yeah. That's not great. Yeah. That's not great. That's not great. Yeah. Yeah. That's not great. Yeah. That's not great. Yeah. Yeah. That's not great. Yeah. that's not great. that's not great. that's not great. Yeah. Yeah. that's not. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. I. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's not great. It's not great. I's not great. I's not great. I's not great. I's not great. I's not great. I's not great. I's not th. I's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not th. I's not th. I's not great.that's not great. I swear or not. With your two friends like watching on like, is she gonna, is she gonna make out of them? They're betting on it. And then the German guy's like, can you, can we not?

Get her off of me, yeah. They do. And then she's puking the next morning and she doesn't want to go on the expedition. Because Matthias? Matthias? Matthias? Definitely German. Has convinced them to come with him. And I was like, is this a scam? It feels like a scam? The fact that he's doing that fake accent makes you think he's a bad guy. Right. He's being like, Huckermah Mulca of Tim Curry in Congo, you know?

You're like, he's clearly not for real. He's like, we have to go find my brother Heinrich. You're like, no one's named Heinrich. We have to get to the chopper. Yes. But it's actually not, he really needs to find his brother Heinrich. But so he does, he has originally employed the Greeks to come with him, but they're too much of party fuckups. So he's... They still get one of them though. They still get Dimitri. The hot one. The red shirt. Yeah. Um, for all you Star Wars fans out there. And, and, and, so

he's now bringing these people. And I'm like, why? Why? Why are you bringing these people? They seem like, ding don't? Right. You just met them. All you did was find one of their earrings. You returned to her and then you decided to take them with you to find your missing brother who went to an archaeological dig with a woman. That he had just met. And that he had just met. And then you decided to follow. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Did you like, you were talking about her barfing though, did you like the cut of the guy begging to get his dick sucked and then when Stacy goes to do it the next cut is her throwing up? I thought that was actually very funny. I did not pick up on that. Yeah, it's just a funny cut. That dude's been in something we did too. Oh really? I think so. Let's look them up. Look it up up up up up up up up up up. Sshsh. S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Oh really? I think so. Let's look him up. Look it up. Sean Ashmore?

Sean Ashmore? Or maybe I just know them from the boys. What's that? It's a superhero TV show about why superheroes are bad. Wait what? Yeah it's like what if people really had superpowers they would just be dickheads? Sort of. Um, yeah, no, we haven't done anything with them, never mind. I was like, what? He's in frozen? No, it's not that frozen. It's a...

Oh, is that the one where the people are stuck on the ski lift? Yes. I thought we should do that move in some point. But if we put frozen on th on that on that that tho that that that tho that that tho tho that tho tho th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thoooooooooooo. the. it go. Let it go. Just an idea we do them back to back. I've never seen that frozen. Oh please don't make me watch it again. Do you know how many times I've seen that frozen? I'm assuming you could do it from Oh yeah I would actually have to watch it. That's a really good point. Ah if we need a week off maybe we'll do that. He's also going to be in a, or it was also also also in a to to to to to to to to to to to to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a the to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a the the the to. to. to. to. to. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. t. t. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to week off maybe we'll do that. He's also going to be in a two or it was also in a 2020 film called Darkness Falls which if you recall was the movie about the tooth fairy? How can I forget? So I'm trying to see no it's not. He just keeps making movies about that are already movies. Stop it Sean Ashmore. I'm in Citizen Kane, it's about

the wrestler. It's about his like quest to get a visitor visa to another country. Oh my god. So yes so there is allegedly somewhere a set of ruins yeah that there's an archaeological dig happening at and Jeff really fucking wants to go. He's so horned up to go do this. He has such a boner for ruins. Oh my god. Oh my god. Apparently there are other ruins you can go see. their the ruins you can go see. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the's so horned up to go do this. He has such a boner for ruins. Oh my god. Apparently there are other ruins you can go see, but only tourists go see these. So like these guys, they're definitely off the beaten path travelers.

I hate them. Again, hearkening back to hostile. It's giving me those behind. I mean, jokes are at the root of what we do. I mean, we're always fertilizing little bits of humor throughout. Chlorophyll? Clorophyll? That was good to do nuts.

Thanks. At a boy, Lather. What am I even talking about? Exactly. This movie is kind of like drugs. Yeah. Oh, I was on drugs, though, so it's hard for me to say. So she says poor Amy, who I hate is throwing up.

She's so fucking hung over. Yeah. And her boyfriend is just shouting at her that she has to go see these ruins. And she's like, I really don't want to. Let me just stay here. It's her fucking vacation too, Jeff. And also, Jeff, you're putting on your clothes while you're still wet.

And I find that repulsive. hot at it kind of makes sense. No it doesn't. You're gonna sweat through them anyway. No it doesn't. How are you gonna pull up jeans while your legs are wet? I don't know. I'm sitting here in camouflage sweat shorts what you want from me. The cargo pants sweatshorts? I, you know what? I didn't realize they were sweatshirts because of the cargo pockets. Yeah, well how about that? You really are. Carrying your shit and comfortable? C. their in your shit. You really th. You really th. You really th. You really th. You really th. You really th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the their th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their s. their sweat shet. I'm their sweat shet. I'm their s. I're their s. I're their sweat sweat sweat sweat sweat sweat sweat sweat sweat sweat sweat sweat sweat sweat. I're their sweat. I. I. I. I. I're their s. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I're their. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I pocket. Why put a ziplock in there when you could just put the chips in there? You gotta vacuum them out later. Open your mouth and dump them in, drink them down. So they go and find a taxi that's gonna take them to this ruin and the guy's initially like, no you don't want to go there, it's not a good place in like perfect English and they're all like speaking in super slow shitty Spanish to him not that Spanish is shitty just there's is there certainly is and then I'm sorry but they're in this little

town for a bit yeah and Amy's just photographing children on the street one don't take pictures of someone else's child right but it's like because they're foreign it's okay and they're just like running around like fucking idiots going, Amy, Stacy, look! Amy, look! Stacey! Like, look foreign stuff! And it's actually just very offensive. And is Mexico even foreign at this plaguered? We're just like, oh come on, like what is here that's so surprising to you? They're like, we bought hands. I mean again, I think they're just supposed to be, like, it's that thing of, like, you should make me like these people before I'm supposed to feel bad that they're all dying. There's this like lingering art shot of the hat, the hat, like, they get in the back

of the taxi, which is a pickup truc,'s this long lingering shot of the hat on the road as the taxi drives away and I think it's meant to mean something. It's pointed. It's not. Wait did they leave the hat behind? You already made a leave? I know, I know! Did you think I was going to let you get away with that? The jerk was a little wooden. So, no one's proud of me. Maybe we should put this to bed. Like a garden bed. You know, the best puns are the ones that you... Yeah, explain him. Amy's bitching because she has to hike in flip flopsops. Why the fuck would you wear flip-flops? Why would you wear flip-flops anywhere with the pool, the beach, or your cousin's house? I'm gonna get my jeans dirty.

They're fucking jeans! They're fucking jeans! Such a goddamn wine! Oh my god. Stacey's wearing the lowest rise rise pants. The button is like at the tip of her pubic bone. How is she alive? The crack of her ass is the only thing holding her pants up.

It truly is. How was she alive? I would be dead. I know I wore pants like that. But even watching this movie, I was like, how did I wear a low rise pants? Never did. I'm a chubby thie-I the the th-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-s-s-I-I-s-I-s-s-I-s. th-I a chubby dude all my pants are low-rise man. Well low-rise wasn't the thing for you then I know. No, no, yeah. Yeah, I didn't get a low-rise or skinny jeans until much later in my life. Yeah, yeah. I understand now that skinny jeans are out but they can be pried for my cold dead hands. Yeah, man. I love a nice hugging gene on my legs. It's very comforting. So comforting. Then this is coming from a guy that

used to wear at least three pairs of pants worth of fabric on my legs back in the early 2000s. Jankos. Not quite, but all pants were big back then, yep. They've ever have UFO pants? What's that? UFO pants? Yeah, yeah. You have those? No. Just big jeans. Big jeans? They've have. the thin. They've, they've have have have have have th. They're have th. They're th. They're th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the theeee the the the the thee the the the the the pants? Yeah, yeah. You have this? No. No. Just asking. Just big jeans. Big jeans. Big jeans cuffed for some unknown reason? Don't want, you want them to be big, you don't want them to be too long. It's true. Yeah. And then a t-shirt with an oversized, uh, sweater. the oversized sweater on top of it. That was a big, big look for th for th for th for th for th for th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi-a thi-a thi-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s, thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thi-s, big thi-s, big thi-s, big thi-s, big thi-s, big thi-s, big thi-s, big thi-s, big jeans thi-s, big jeans thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s. Big-s, thin thin. Big-s. Big-s. Big tfffffffffffffffffffffffffeeeeeean. tfean. thin thin theeean th back in the time. Yeah, that's a good look. Yeah, that'll come back around, I think. Sure, and a choker, come on. Oh yes, well chokers are right back at the height of fashion. Do you not see these children out there looking like it's the craft? I don't understand what is happening.

Oh yeah, yeah, they've got like, yeah. rather than just letting it fall loose on my head. You should let it fall loose on your head. You should go back to your team. Also, my hairline, way further back than it was in high school. You'll have that. Every time we have facial recognition software at work, do you? Because we have to have our temperature taken when we go into the office. Oh damn. And so every time it misreads who I am. Bald ass dude, just some bald ass dude. Really? Bald is the day as long. So it brings up someone else's face? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Who, one of your

colleagues? Well it's just somebody else who works in the building. Yeah. Yeah. Do you ever just like pretend to be that guy? For the whole day, yeah. Oh, he's off his age. I like it. Kevin's been eating my lunch again. Kevin. I like. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin's then. Kevin's th. Kevin's th. Kevin's th. Kevin's th. Kevin's th. Kevin's th. Kevin's thiiiii. Kevin's th. Kevin's thi. Kevin's thi. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin's thi. Kevin's thi. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin's th. I's th. I's th. Kevin's th. Kevin's th. Kevin's th. Kevin's th. Kevin's th. Kevin's th. Kevin's th. Kevin's th. Kevin's th. Kevin's th. Kevin's th. Kevin's th. Kevin's th. Kevin's th. Kevin's th. Kevin's th. Kevin's th. Kevin's th. Kevin's thi. Kevin's thi. Kevin's thi. Kevin's thi. Kevin's thi. He's th like, mm-hmm. I'm a dick. It's me Kevin. Kevin, smash! Anyway, they eventually get to these ruins. Yeah, the taxi driver drops them off and leaves and then they're like, yeah, we'll just call him on a cell phone. I have a world phone. Is that a real thing? I don't know. I laughed at world phone anyway. They really, like they had 11 miles or 11 kilometers. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I. th. th. I. I. I's. I. th. I'm. I'm. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. th. I's. I's. the. I's. I's. I's. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. I'm. the the the the th. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. I'm. I'm. the. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm.. They really, like, they had 11 miles or 11 kilometers anyway to figure out how they were going to get back. And then when the taxi drives away, they're like, oh man.

And what were you guys thinking about? Stone Temple pilots? What are you doing in 2008? So they find these ruins, which are covered in vines, and there are Mayan people at the base of the ruins who are trying to get them to move away from them. Right, but there is a language gap because they are speaking Mayan and our heroes of the film or villains are speaking... Regardless. Brokenass Spanish. Yeah. However, Amy. If you were in another country and people were yelling at you in a native

tongue that they were clearly wanted them to get away, their hand gestures, body language, such as they did not want them to go near this large monument, you're gonna just keep fucking going towards it? Are you going to be like, sorry, we're out of here? Especially a thing that could be a sacred space to the people. No, no, no, no, no, you're gonna fucking climb it. No, no, I'm gonna go and say I'm so sorry Heinrich, you're on your own. Yeah, yeah. Like they brought Matias there, they don't need to like continue on with Matias. You saw the ruins, get out of here. Maybe everybody come forth, speak to to them, say hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, the, the, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they. they. they. they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they're, they're, they're, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no to them, say, hey, my brother is missing, which they tried doing. Yeah. But then fucking Amy is backing up to get the perfect shot. She's taking pictures of them and Jeff is like, Amy, can you not? Which is absolutely, like, it's a

very tense moment. Yeah, yeah. Stop photographing it. She's out there trying to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to to the the the taphing. taphing. taping. the thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the the the thi. thi. thi. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. th. th. th. thi. try. try. try. try. try. try. trys. try. trys. trys. try. try. trys. try to capture life and all of its living this. So she's backing up to get a good shot. She touches the vines. Just steps into it and they're all like, and the Mayan people are just like, fuck. So Dmitry grabs the camera out of her hand, and then they just shoot him first with an arrow and then with a bullet. Because he also stepped into the vine. Yeah. Dimitri's too hot to die. Too hot to live.

Too hot to live, I guess. I'm surprised she didn't take that camera from his dead hand. She's such a stupid pitch. So the Mayans basically force them up the ruins. So the Mayans basically force them up the ruins. Right. ruins to the top to the tip of the top saying that we're going to kill you or you're going to go up. And we've seen a tent is on top of the ruins. Right. Jeff takes off his backpack and his sweat of the straps is just, ugh.

That felt honest, it felt real. Yeah. He's so sweaty. It's surprising because when they're at the top of the ruin of the temple or whatever, it is the most matte painting, like they're not actually on top of anything, like nonsense. Yeah. But yeah, that's why it was real. Well, then we learned that Jeff is a doctor, wannabe.

He's in medical school. He's going to go to medical school. He's been accepted to medical school. So he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's they. He's th. He's going to go to medical school. He's been accepted to medical school. So he's finished his undergrad and now he's going to medical school. I think so. What he said is he's 22 and they say that Amy's just freaking out because he's going to med school across the country. So yeah, yeah, yeah. He tells them that they need a half gallon of water just to survive. And I was like, do the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, what, what, th, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, thi, thi, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, th. What, th. th. What, th. th. th. What, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. What, th. What, th. What, they, they's, they's, they's, they's, they say, they're, they're, they say, they say, they're, they say, what, they say, what, what, what, what, what, they say, they say, they like what you're supposed, that's like what you're supposed to aim for. Oh, okay.

Which is like great, but if you don't hit that, you will not wither. Yeah, I usually drink a couple cups of coffee and then remember that I have to drink water at the end of the day. I know. I know, I always wonder if coffee counts as water. It does not. So, already you're like, Jeff, you're a shit doctor. Jeff is giving facts like we do. Yes, he knows nothing, but he's also super not fun. I love it with people said to his corrections, which I really do appreciate on some level, but

I'm also like, yeah, no, I know I got it wrong. I just say things and I say it with fucking attitude and with just force behind it like just keep saying it and see what happens. I mean the more we say it the true or it becomes. It's true. Yeah yeah we're on the internet we have to lie. That's right. Just like Jeff. So they there's a big hole and they think they hear a cell phone ringing from the bottom of the hole. Yeah, yeah so they are gonna roll Matheus down there on a rope without the the rope. their their they they they they they they their they they they they they their they they they their they they to to to to their to to to to their to to to to say to say to say to say to say to say the. I to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I to say to say th. I to say to say to say to say to say to say th. I to say the. I the. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to say ias down there on a rope without checking the rope. Well, I was just going to say, you won't check that rope? No, uh-uh. Poor Matias. Yes. Also too hot to die, but it goes ahead and dies. Well, he had to get to the next movie he was going to be in the week cover as the deputy in the crazies. Yeah. But we didn't realize he was hot in that because Timothy Oliphant was in it.

You just have a thing for Timothy Oliphant. It's a handsome fella. I just don't see it. All right. All right. I feel the same way about it. . See, I am flip-lopped on that we found someone we don't have to fight over men.

It's what, Chris Sarandon? That's me. No, I'm on board too. Oh, there's no one to be share that we would both fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The ones we have to fight over, see which one of us gets to fuck them. Let me know Chris Sarandon. You up? So they, of course, the rope breaks and they fucking drop Matias and he is a-fooked.

And do you remember, I have a memory of in the book, it's definitively the vine breaks the rope. Yes. The vine is like grown around the rope and it chews through it. But they don't introduce the vines as being sentient for quite some time, actually. Yeah, it takes a. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So, of. So, of. So, of. So, of. So, of. So, of the the the the the the the the the the the the rope, of the rope, of the rope, of the rope, of the rope, of the rope, of the rope, of the rope, of the rope, of the rope, of the rope. So the rope. So the rope. So the rope, of, of, of, of, of the rope, of the rope, of the rope, of the rope, of the rope, the rope. So the rope. So the rope. So the rope. So the rope. So the rope. So the rope. So the rope. So, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thea? So- theaughea, the the the thea? Soa, the theaughe. So-takes, the the thea. So-takes, the the and it chews through it. But they don't introduce the vines as being sentient for quite some time. Yeah, it takes a while, yeah. So they drop Matias from a fairly great height. Yeah, for sure. He says he can't move. So they're like, okay, one of you girls has to go down there. Like what would it take for you to agree to be lowered into that hole? I mean th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the the th. th. the th. the th. th. the thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, takes. Yeah, takes. Yeah, takes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. takes. takes. takes. takes. takes. takes. takes. takes. takes. tha. takes. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, takes, takes. takes. takes. takes. take for you to agree to be lowered into that hole? I mean, this is where the glory of being a big dude comes into my, like, no one's going to be like, that's the guy who's going down the hole. I don't see, like, there's the part of me that's like, well, I gotta help that person. So I need to go down the other part that's like, whatever apparatus you're about to hook me up to him, I'm gonna break when you put me on, so don't do that.

And I'm probably the stronger one up here, so. Well, bully for you. So, Katie, unfortunately, you're gonna have to go down the hole. Yeah, that's fine. You know what, though? There. Long arms and legs, look at these fucking things. So they send Stacey down. Yeah. There's not enough rope. No. So they shouted her to jump. Why the fuck would she jump? There's no reason for her to jump. Why would they not pull her back up and then do what they eventually do, which is rip up the tent. Like, why don't they think of that before they tell her to jump?

If she jumps, she can't get back to the rope. She can't get him on the rope. Why would she jump? What she, they should have said, was lower yourself down. It's still even made a different. It's still never to drop a little easier. Sure, but then what's she gonna do from there? She can't get back on the rope. For sure. She can't get him on the rope. What the fuck? Why are they telling her to jump? It's insane? It's insane. It's the fuz. Why are they're? Why are they? Why? Why are they? Why are they? Why are they? Why are they? Why are the? Why? Why are the? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? they? they? they? they? they? they? they? they? they? they? they? they? they? they? they? they? they? they? they? job. You're right about that. So like they in the rest of the movie, they assume Matthias has gone deaf. Because they talk about him like he's not there. For sure. Because she's like, oh my god guys, I think he's like really messed up. And she's like, and it smells like shit. Well yeah he shed himself. Well yeah he shit himself. he himself. he the the the the the the he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's they he's he's they they they they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th is th is th is th is th is thus is thus. He's thus. He's thus. He's the the thean. He's thean. He's thean, thean, thean, thean, the the. the the. thels. He's right fucking there. You don't have to talk about how he shit himself.

You fucking monster. You fucking monster. But when she falls, he had a lamp with her that the glass broke and glass goes into her knee. Yes. And also introduces the vines into her body. It does. I guess. Which I love. Do you? I love the vines inside of people. I think that's a really cool thing. Yeah. Because it would gross me out and I'd also want to pick at it. Oh yeah, I'm a picker. Like the idea of something moving that under your skin you can be like, ew, ew, ew! Yeah, that's really fucked up. And the vines are covering the entire tunnel and then when they get down into down into down into down into the the the the their their their their their their the entire tunnel and then when they get down into the temple, into the ruins,

the vines have covered everything down there as well. Right. Um, yeah. So Amy runs down the temple steps the ruins to ask for help. To ask for help. And when they put weapons on her, she picks up a handful of vines and throws them at a little boy? Yeah, uh-huh. And then they fucking shoot the little boy, right in front of his mom. Like, Amy, you killed that boy.

You ruined that boy's mom. Amy killed him. Oh well, it goes back up the steps. Yeah. I like that because it adds like a lot of weight to these vine. Like, you know, to whatever it is at this point, right, because we haven't seen them yet, like we see them later assaulting the earth around it and all that stuff, but so yeah, that adds a lot of weight to it. I'm like, oh, I like this world that this exists in. I think that's neat. I agree. But then it goes back to them saying, okay, well, Amy, you have to get to get, Amy, their. their. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. to, A. to, A. to, A. to, A. to, A. to, A. to, A. to, A. to, A. to, Amy, Amy, Amy, A. to, A. to, A. to, A. to, A. to, to, A. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, A. to, A. to, A. to. to. to. to, A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. Aed that Stacy and Matias have been down there. And so they're like, Amy, when you get down there, look for the cell phone, it's like, why the fuck wasn't Stacy looking for it? Like, was she just down there chilling,

just relaxing, waiting to see what was going to happen next? She's got an owee on her knee. It's like poor Mathius with his fate in the hands hands, tham, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, wo, wo, wo, wo, wo, wa, wa, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, thu, why, thu, the thu, the the the the thi, the thi, the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi-s, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi, why the thi, why they make a gurney to bring him back up on. Yeah, backboard. And she like gets on that out over the hole and I was like, there's no fucking way I would do that. Nope. I'd rather go down like Stacy did. Yeah, for sure. For sure, like somehow that feels safer than being on a swing. Swing. It's a swing, yeah. It's like every time you see one of those river rescues where they get get somebody on one of those boards and then it just starts spinning and you're like Yes, I'd go back on the river. Yeah, just drop me in the water Um, see, yeah, Amy goes down there and

They're like arguing over how to pick up Matias. Sure, because you wouldn't hurt you fucking ask Jeff the doctor? Why don't you fucking ask Jeff how to? th th th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th somebody th somebody th somebody to to to tho tho tho tho tho tho tho? tho? tho? tho tho th somebody somebody somebody somebody somebody somebody somebody somebody somebody somebody somebody somebody somebody somebody th somebody th somebody th somebody th somebody th somebody th somebody to to th? th? th? th somebody th? the the the the th? the the the the the the the their their th? their thi thi to thi to to to to to to to to to the to to theeeeea toooooooooooooooooooooo their their their th not arguing, but fretting over how to pick up Matthias. Sure, because I don't want to hurt him. Why do you fucking ask Jeff, the doctor? Why don't you fucking ask Jeff how to lift him? Because he doesn't know dick about shit? It's true. He's like, you have to lift him, you have to lift him. We can't leave him down there. You have to lift him. Then they bring him up and someone him up up up up up up up and someone him and someone him and someone him and someone him and someone, and someone, and someone, and someone, and someone, and someone, and someone, and someone, and someone, and someone, and someone, and someone, the the the the the the the the their, their, their to to their to to to to to to to to the, the, their, their their, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to their, their, their, their, their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the the the the to to to to move him in the first place. Jesus! Oh man. So, is this when they go searching for the cell phone or does that happen later? I know, I think they bring him, just bring everybody up now. Okay. This is where we find out they've got a generator up on top of the thing. Yes, yep. This is where I wrote, I hate Amy and Jeff and I wish that Stacey and Eric had just gone on a nice sex vacation, just the two of them.

Because they seem fine. Yeah, they probably wouldn't have gone off to be in the, because they're like, actually, we're fucking to get a margarita and then maybe go down by the pool for a bit. Right, right, right. And I'm going to try and get an HJ under a towel down by the pool. Hell yes, when in Mexico, it stays in Mexico? No. You leave it there? Something like that. So... I, I know. I don't know. The night passes without event.

Mm-hmm. Which felt like a very D&D sentence to write down. Do you set a watch? They do set a watch, yeah. They do. They do. They do. Jeff finds a skeleton.

Yes. I like the skeleton in the vines. Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like how Stacy always takes off her pants to sleep. She's always taking off her pants to sleep. She's like I want to sleep comfortable. I got these low-rise panties on. I have to show them off to the world. But you don't want to sleep in low-rise jeans. That's going to be so on. Yeah. I see but comfies. What? Sleep in comfy pants. That's skinny jeans. Three-piece suit. I look so cute though. She wakes up and there's vines going into her leg, which I love. I love the vines that are like, yeah, let me get in

there. She's just like pulling it out and it's like slithering out. Jeff's shocked face is exquisite because he's so pinchy face that when he tries to make his face big you're like, no it's just normal. You just look like an exclamation point now. Such a strange looking man like at some points when you see him from the side you're like wow he's like very attractive and he turns to look at you and you're like, the to look at you and you and you like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like you and you and you and you and you you and you like like like like like like like like like like like like you and you the to look to look to look to look at to look at to look at to look at to look at to look at to look at to look at to look at to look like to look at to look at to look at to look at to look at to look at to look at to look at to look at to look at to look like to look like very to look like very to look like very to look like very to look like very to look like very to look like very to look like very to look like very to look like to look like to look like to look like the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to look at the the the to look at to look at to look at to look at you. to look at to look at to look at to look at to look at to look at to look at to look at to look like like like the the the Just a very interesting looking person. I like the idea of being hot and profile. Yeah. But I just, I love that like pulling it out of her leg and it just goes on and on. And her boyfriend just, Eric is just pulling it out.

I'm like, blech, blech. The German fella also has vines crawling all over his legs, which they don't remove. Yeah, they're just kind of like, because he's saying, show me my legs, show me my legs, because he can feel that something's wrong, but he has no feeling in his legs, which it turns out he actually does, which is also very fucked up. So they show him his legs and there's vines and their vines and their vines, their vines, their vines, their their vines, their ones, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, sou, sou, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, somea, somea, somea, they's they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're thii.s.s. Somea, somea, somea, somea, that's the last we see of that. So they send Amy and Stacey back down now to get the phone. Right. I thought it was interesting at this point that they had not noticed a lack of animal life right on there, like no bugs.

Right. Yeah. Right. Right. Right. Right. Which is like, maybe these vines are cool, no bugs. So this is where we find out that the vines can mimic sounds. Oh boy. But the annoying thing is, the vines would have to know that a cell phone is a thing that would attract you.

Right. The vines are really fucking smart. They're smarter than the four, five humans that are on top of this temple. Yep. Because they hear the cell phone ringing again. And it doesn't just ring four times and then stop as cell phones do. It just keeps ringing and ringing and ringing and they're like, well, it must be a cell phone. No, no dummies. I like the mechanic of it, though when we see the flowers and the flowers are the thing that's ringing. You like that. Well, when they get closer and it's like distorted and doesn't sound quite right, yeah, which I thought that was pretty neat.

That is. I didn't like the vines like grabbing at her hand or just like wobbling around though. It's like make up your mind. Either the vines are tough and cool and smart grabby. Or they're like stupid and two could go? There are no smart grabbies? I did like when the whole tunnel like kind of comes to life and it's like in waves coming after them I thought that was pretty neat. It just looks kind of shitty though. Sure, it looks cheap. But in concept again I think it's neat. So they're convinced that the other Greeks are going to come find them because they had a copy of the map.

Right, this is Jeff's dumb idea of how they're going to get saved. Yeah, and then one of the, I think it's Eric yells, the Greeks can't find their fucking hotel rooms. Which I thought was very funny. And then I wondered, like do you think people would probably turn to me. Yeah. I don't know. I thought about this. Like would I be Jeff or would I be Eric? I'm trying to think about the times that I've been stuck in a temple. No, I don't know. I don't, uh, I don't know. I think I would try to get more collective. I'm try to get more collective. I. I th. I try. I to to to to to the to to the to to the try. No, I don't, I don't know. I think I would try to get more collective organizing going on amongst the people. Reach a consensus. Yeah, yeah, for sure.

Speaking of my cousin, Joe signed us up for Legends of the Hidden Temple, he submitted our applications to be a team. They're rebooting it for old people. Was that like a Nickelodeon show? It was a Nickelodeon show, we were kids, yeah. Yeah, I'm very excited. I hope we get picked. If there's a voting opportunity, I will beg people to vote for us. Because I want a Casio keyboard. It's gonna be great. The pit of my stomach dropped, because when you said us I thought you meant me and you and I was like no, I'm I can't do that. Sorry, I should have made that super clear before I started going on. I'm gonna let you down. Although if it's for old people, they're probably,

there's the built in, I'm gonna need a second. Yeah, yep, yep. Just like the Temple Guard comes practice time and he wants to cut off Matthias' legs. This is so fucked up. I can't imagine a situation where I'm like, well, we got to amputate. Yeah! Both of them. Both of them.

You've learned nothing about this. You've taken no medical classes. You've taken like an anatomy class. Look, you just got gonna make the rock hot. He sure can feel it. He didn't feel it. It was just because he's solid. Everyone is talking about Matias, like he can't hear them because they're like, we're not going to cut his legs off. And they're like, we're not going to cut his legs off. Then they take a vote on whether or not to cut his legs off andthink he's just like, please stop talking for five goddamn minutes. If it's cutting my legs off that we'll do it, do it. Oh my God, it was so fucking ridiculous.

It's like Stacy votes for his lips. Because at this point you should like fretch on to give a phone. She's like, Eric's like, Eric's like, he's like, he's in med school, Eric. And this is what ties us in with Frankenhooker. Yep, Jeff being a sadistic doctor. Sadistic want-to-be doctor. And a woman saying, he can do this. Go ahead, buddy, you got this. Do a surgery. Say with my stomach. Hac his legs off. Jesus. And they're going to caulderize the wound with a frying pan. They do. It sizzles.

Like fajitas. I do like the vines dragging away his severed legs, silly as that is. One of the vines would be like, oh, you might have we, might have we get this? You're going to eat that? Is there any more dipping? Is the dip? Is the dip? Is the dip? Is the dip? Is the dip? Is the dip? Is the dip? Is the dip? Is the dip? Is thi? Is thi? Is thi? Is thi? Is thi? Is thi? Is the the the the the the thi? Is thi? Is thi? Is thi? Is the the thi? Is thi? Is thi? Is thi? Is thi? Is thi? Is the the the the thi? Is thi? Is thi? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is thi? Is? Is? Is thi? Is thi? Is thi? Is thi? Is thi? Is thi? Is ti? Is ti? Is ti? Is ti? Is ti? Is ti? Is ti? Is ti? Is ti? Is ti? Is ti? Is ti? Is ti? Is thea? Is thea? Is thea? Is thea? Is thea? Is ti? Is ti? Is there any more dipping sauce? What does it come with mustard because he's German? Ranch dressing I would assume.

Or a wakamolee because they're in Mexico. Anyway, now it's night time again and Amy and Eric are talking. And Amy says to Eric, do you think Stacy is going to be okay? No. I was like, also if you want her to be okay? No. I was like also if you want her to be okay maybe keep Jeff away from her because she's got a boo-boo on her knee and he might well try to take that off too. So I got a cut on your head gonna have to take it off. And while they're having this conversation Jeff Jeff is down doing what I like to call May's doing what I like to call, Mayan testing, where he goes and sees that the Mayans will follow him as he's walking back and forth.

Oh, that's right. Like they're dogs. Oh, man. So, so, Stacy is just yelling around about some dumb shit. She thinks she heard Amy and Eric fucking. Right, because in the book, the vines start whispering sex noises. Yes, they make the sounds of them fucking. And I don't... They did not do it. No. They were just, Amy was crying and Eric was like, had his arm around her. Oh I know what Eric does. He made you cry. So you must be fucking. Yeah, Eric's always going for for the butt when you don't expect. the the the the the the the the th. th. to the to to to to to to to to the to to to to they. they. they. to to they. S S Se. S, to be to be to be to be to be to be thi. Se. Se. Se. Se. Se. Se. S, the the the the the the th. Ss, th. Ss, th. Ss, th. Ss, th. Ss, th. Ss, th. S, th. S, th. S, th. S, th. S, th. S, th. S, th. S, th. S, th. S, th. S, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, the thin, the the thin, the thin, the thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, Eric's always going for the butt when you don't expect it. That'll make you cry.

You know, fucking Eric. Stacy knows. Anyway, the last thing Matias hears in his young life is Stacey yelling around about this dumb shit that they were fucking. Y'all fucking, meanwhile, Vines are just traveling down his asophagus. They're just eating his life force. Mm- like well, thank God you cut his legs off Which is something that Amy says that's right. That's right. That's right. That's right? Or maybe Eric says it one of them's like regardless. I'm like, I start mocking her, which I loved. But it's like kind of funny with the tense dark score that they're all going.

What is she saying? Like, I want to go home. I want to go home. You're not listening to me. You're not listening to me. But there's this like super tense score playing. So this is where we see, I guess we're back to nighttime and the mines are salting the earth?

I don't know who cares. And we see that Stacey's got more wriggling vines inside of her. Now Jeff's like, oh, oh, co-surgery? Yeah, yeah. It's like, oh no, here comes Jeff with the knife, like you are fucked. And there's been this conversation between Jeff and Amy about like if their relationship is, oh because Stacey had told Jeff that Amy was trying to hook up with Matias. I can't believe I remember all of these people's names but they just keep saying them over and over

over. And she's like, I didn't do that. It's like I wasn't really gonna hook up with him. And I just imagine Jeff being like Amy we're breaking up after this. Look around, read the room. Nobody loves you. Instead he's just kind of like, you know we're gonna die, right? Yes. I don't really care. You can go hook up with them now and they'll make you feel better. Go fuck his dumb skeletal body. So anyway, yeah, he comes over with a knife. Yeah. And he's like, your femoral artery is not right here and cuts into her thigh. Please be fucking careful, Jeff. I really do like the under the skin wiggling bones though. And then like how much of them gets pulled out. So much. Don't fuck up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Go fuck th. Go fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu. Go fu. Go fu. Go fu. Go fu. Go fu. Go fu. Go fu. Go fu. Go fu. Go fu. Go fu. Go fu. Go fu. Go fu. Go fu. Go fu. Go fu. Go fu. Go th. Go the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Go. Go. the th. Go. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. te. teiggling bones though and then like how much of them gets pulled out so much. Don't fuck up that tribal tattoo though he starts

cutting into her like waist midsection I was like don't you tou toucest that you just get a tribal tattoo on top your tribal tattoo everything we find. There's she's doing I feel like she's doing a great to thi throwne like like like like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like thr-like thr-like thr-like thr-like thr-like thr-like thro-like thro-like thro-like thro-like thr-like tho tho tho thr-like thr-like tho th-like th-like th-like th-like th th-like th-s th-s th-s th-s th-s th-like th-like th-like th-like th-like th-like th th th th th th th th th thr-like thr-like thr-like thri thri thri thri thri thri thri thri thri thri-s thri-s too-s too-s too-s tribe tribe-s tribal-a-tribal tribal tribal thria-s thria-s hanging from her face. I thought that was great. It's always brave. Yeah. Being a beautiful person and just letting books hang out later on the movie screens. I like when they're kind of like, all right, we'll go about your day now. Yeah, this is just our morning routine and now we will hang out I guess. Yeah, but she's yelling that she can still feel them inside of her. Yeah. And they see in her her her th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th thi thi thi's thi's thi's thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. Be th. Be th. Be th. Be th. Be th. Be th. Be th. Be th. Be th. Be thi thi thi thi the the the the the the the the the the theat the theat theat the theat the the theat the the theat the the the the the of her. Yeah. And they see. In her forehead? Her forehead. What do you think about that? You like that?

But I just love that they all see this vine moving in her forehead. And they're like, why do they decide to lie to her about it? Because she already knows they're inside her body. They can feel them. And they're like, no, we all, we all, they all, they all, they all, they all, they all, they all, they all, they all, they all, they all, they all, they all, they all, they all, they all, they all, they all, they all, they all, they all they all they all they all they all. they all, they all they all they all they're they're they're they're they're they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're, they're. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they're th. thathe. that, thathea. thathea. thoooo, thoooooo, thea. thooooooooooooooooooo, the. the. the. they her body and she can feel them and they're like, no we'll gaslet you now. So we see this shot, they all wake up from a nap I guess in the tent. Yeah, yeah. They come out and she's just all bloody in her underwear. It's a great shot. And she's cut like, they're like, they're just all the fugling. Yeah, just cutting into her meat. Yeah. Yeah. I have the note the note the note the note the note the note. I I the note. I the note. I the note. I the note. I the note. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have the note, the note, the note, the note, the note, the note, the note, I the note, the note, she's the note, they're all. She's all. She's all. She's all. She's all. She's all. She's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're. She. She's. She's. She's. She's they're they're all. She's they're all th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. the. the. they're all all th. I they're all they're all they're all they're they're they're like, what are you doing? It's like, what does it fucking look like she's doing? And Jeff tries to get the knife where she cuts him. How do you like it, Jeff? What can Dr. Jeff do about this one? And then she stabs Eric in the goddame chest. That was bummer. He die. He die. The vine then starts crawling around her thigh wound. Yeah, and drags Eric away. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, the he. He. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th th th th he he he he he he he he he thi he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he. He he he. He he. He he. He he. He he. He he. He he. He he. He he he he he. He he he he he he he he he he he th. He he he he th. He he he he the the tries tries tries tries tries tries tries tries to tries to he tries he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he starts crawling around her thigh wound. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And drags Eric away?

Yeah. Oh man. I wrote exit Stacy, but I don't remember how she died. Do they kill her? Because she's saying, kill me, kill me? Does Amy kill her? I don't know. I have the note plants mimic Stacy yelling, kill me.

Let's find out. Cut to... Oh, Jeff kills her. Okay. Of course it is. Oh, I'm going to practice for euthanization class. Yeah, I guess it's Stacy. So then Jeff paints Amy with Stacy's blood.

For the life of me when this is happening, I was like, why? Why? Why is this happening? Why? At first I thought he's trying to get the vines to eat her. Maybe they'll just like crowd-surf her down the temple. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So he goes down to the ground again to talk to the Mayans. He's giving them this long lecture while basically berating them and having them sort of follow him. You don't even know our names. My name is Jeff, Dean, McIntyre.

My dad owns a dealership. Is that a total my dad owns a dealership name. But this is what all of the Mayan testing was for. He knows that they'll follow him. Jeff's not that smart. And also I feel like he could have kept their attention and not gotten shot. And also there's like 12 of them, some of them could have kept watching Amy. No, they all locked eyes with Jeff. It's like he pulled tricky robot on them. They had set up a camp. There were were just like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like the the women. the women. the women. the women. the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te locked eyes with Jeff. It's like you pulled tricky robot on them. They had set up a camp. There were just like the women and children of the camp were back in the like a little, under a little tent. Right, right, right. Not one of them saw Amy jump up and run away from the clearing.

Okay. Yep. She runs. Jeff gets shot a bunch of times, which is a Yeah, yeah. She thankfully knows how to drive stick, which I feel like is a very important thing to do to escape in a horror movie. For sure, for sure. She finds, she gets to the Jeep that had been Heinrichs, I guess. Right. And takes off. As she's, I don't recall her surviving in the book. I don't remember much about the end of the book except being annoyed by it. Yeah, being glad it was th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, I thi. Yeah, I thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, she thi, she's thi, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she, she, she, she, she, she, she. She. She. She. She. She. She. She, she. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She, she. She, she. She, she. She, she. She, she. She, she's thin. She's thin, she's thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, she's th th thin, she's th th thin, she's th th thin, she's fine, she's fine, she's driving away going, okay, okay, okay. And then we see the Greeks show up. Yeah. Stupid fucking Greeks. Is this, uh, like setting up that these vines are now going to populate the entire world inside of Amy?

I don't know. Yeah. All right. No ruins too, huh? Still ruining? Oh, man. I don't know. Yeah. All right. No ruins too, huh? Still ruining? Oh, man. Just leaving a hollow husk of a world.

They're going to shed the... I'm really trying. I guess they couldn't grow that seed of an idea into a sequel. I like that we have four tons. Grow, seed, leaf. Variations on the leaf theme. Uh-huh. What else are plants, you know?

What else are plants? I mean, truly. Katie? You want to rate this fucker? Yeah, again, you picked it, you go first. It's my new rule. You you you you you you you you you you th you do th you do most you do most th you th you th you th you th you th you th you thi thi thi thi thi that you tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thaton thaton? tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho that that that that that that that that thaton. thaton. thaton. thaton. thaton. thaton. that that the the the the the the the the the the theeeeee thea. thea. thea. the Yeah, again, you picked it, you go first. It's my new rule. You do most of the picking, though, it's a problem.

This movie is a hard three. Yeah, it's butt hole. It's just a movie that shows you its butt hole. And it's like, when you say it, it sounds wrong to my ears. It's like, you like this? You're like, I don't, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I, I, I th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to thi. to to thi. to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. to my ears. I'm sure to it's but-hole. But-hole? It was like, you like this? And you're like, I don't know, maybe not really. What about fart a little? Oh, that's worse. That's worse.

That's, now it's vibrating. What'd you think? I mean, like, I feel like have the context of the book, you would be like, wait, it's the vine? Wait, what? Like the vines are, I feel kind of poorly set up as the bad guy. Yeah, yeah. And then they don't do half the cool stuff they should do. For sure. They just do one cool thing, which is get under people's skin. And then go, kill me, kill me, they. They they. They they. They they. They they. They they. They they they they they they. They they they they they. They they they. They they they they they they. They they they. They they they they they they they they. They they they they they they they they they they they they they. They they they. They they they they. They they they. They they they. They just they they they. They just they. They just they. They just they. They just they. They just they. They just they. They they. They they. They they. They they. They they. They they. They. They they. They they. They they. They they. They they. They they they they they. They they they they they they they they they th th. th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, they, mimicking. Why are they cockatiels? I don't know. Yeah, it's a two and a half for me. Okay, it's a shit movie with shit people and shit characters. I seem to remember in the book that there was a make-out scene or like a fingering scene or something that happens.

Yeah, a fingering scene, maybe I will reread it. Love a good finger-banging scene in a book. And then there's like vines and vines, I don't remember. Oh, vines in a vagina. Or maybe, I might just be confusing with cabin fever. Anywho, yeah, yeah, those are very similar in that sense. Yeah, yeah. Except this is not funny at all.

Intentionally anyway. Yeah, Doctor of being a dog. Doctor of being a sadist in this? Like, what the fuck, Jeff? Can we do a movie next week that does not involve a man being Jeff named Jeff being a, a shitty doctor? Maybe? I don't know, maybe. Before we get to that, I would

like to read you a review from an EMT on Apple Podcasts. Apple Podcasts. This is from Dotty 301. Hi, Dotty 3001. I am an EMT and you can be two, five stars. Sure fucking can. I love this podcast so much. I bought this podcast so much. I bought myself a whole mess of stickers. Oh, you're the person who bought a whole mess of stickers. Oh, thanks, Dottie. I hope you're enjoying them. WhereWulf Ambulance is hands down my favorite horror movie podcast. Are there others? Nothing else. I've never heard of them.

Katie and Alan obviously have so much fun talking about horror movies together, and I often find myself laughing right along with them. Oh, I'm so glad. I'm enjoying watching the movies they do and have discovered some new favorites that were previously outside my wheelhouse. I would like to know what those are. Me too. Yeah. Thanks guys for making such an awesome podcast. Oh, thank you for leaving such a nice review. Yeah, Donnie 3001. They make me feel good and bad. Because I can't take a compliment. I can't take a compliment. Maybe we should just stop looking at me. Yeah. It's just like right there though. You know. It's true. And I still want that little out of boy if you're doing a great job, look at me. Look at me, look at me. Look at me, look at me. Oh at me. Oh, look at me. Oh, look at me. Oh, look at me. Oh, look at me. Oh, look at me. Oh, look at me. Oh, look at me. Oh, the the the the the the the the the the their their their th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Oh, th. Oh, thi. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, at me. Look at me, look at me, look at me, ah! Burt your eyes! Why aren't you looking at me! Hug me with your eyes, get off me!

Katie. Alan. What are we doing next week? Last year, in the month of June, we did a queer, friendly horror movie. I had a real tough time with it because it was so, so, so, so sexy. There was just so much intimacy in it. Yeah, yeah. So this time we're going to do a different kind of queer horror movie. Apparently it's the queerest horror movie of all time, which I was completely unaware of.

So say internet headlines tell us that, And as we know, they would never lie. We can't. We're doing Nightmar on Elm Street to Freddy's Revenge. What a bunco name for a movie. Is it? I mean, they're all bunco. Dream Warriors is pretty top. Yeah, actually I liked that a lot. What about Dream Child? Oh, so we'll have done one, th to to tho. to to th. th. th. th. to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. th. th. th. to th. th. to th. th. to to to th. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, to. So, to. So, to. So, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to have done one, two, three, four at this point, yeah?

One, two, three, five. Dream Child is five. Oh, what's four? No, but we have done four, haven't we? Oh my god, how many Nightmare and Elm Streets have we done? Hey, wait, have we already done this one? I don't think so. Oh God, I hope, I hope. th I hope. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. thi. th. th. th. to to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. the. the. the. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. to. Let's type in where wolf ambulance and nightmare Let's see Yeah, three is dream warriors Part five is dream child. Okay, what is for the dream master? I don't think we've done that. No, we have not so this will be one two three five for one three five for one three five four four four's three five four.

Freddy's dead the final nightmare West Craven's new nightmare Freddy versus Jason did we do that? Nope, no, no, but I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. the. the. thr. the. thr. the. the. the. Freddy versus Jason. Did we do that? Nope, no, but I think Jason X ends with Freddy's claw. Is that right? I don't remember. Fuck it. Wait, there was a nightmare on Elm Street in 2010, a Michael Bay movie? Is that the remake? I never saw it. You see it? It is a remake. Yeah. We haven't done it yet. Yet? We'll get to it. We'll get saw it. You see it? It is a remake. Yeah. We haven't done it yet. Yet? We'll get to it! Oh my god, Rooney Mara's in it. She's the better Mara, anyway. I don't know who that is. She's the sister of Kate Mara, who I can't stand. She's a terrible actor and I don't know why she's in movies and shows. She named it for Mickey Rudy Mara. She was a girl with a dragon tattoo. Oh, okay. The American version. I don't know what that means. And well there was a...

All right, so we'll do that. Freddie too, still Fredin. Ah, still coming for you. That's it. All right, let's be done. Let's go to the internet, do things on the internet, we'll talk to you guys on the internet. Read the headlines. They're always true. And thanks for listening to another episode of Wearable Ambulance. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. There we go. Catch. Catch race. The accent on dead pools, so we decided you set the pool. No way to wait, let's keep a fulfill reviews. Get the glass and let the face. Can't live in every space.

Appearance I've asked you in place. Please make a good in your grave. E&T. A role and comedy reviews hungry, Brian, from Wayne's and Stephen King. E-M-T. We live deliciously bad temperatries, O-peace-Brisley come today. A paranormal like titties, from Mr. Rogers to eat. E-M-T. Roger's saying, EFT, EFT!