Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 341- Near Dark (1987)

Episode Date: July 19, 2021

In this week's episode, we're discussing one of the finest vampire films of all time in my (Katie's) humble opinion, though we realized about halfway through recording it that we were kinda just laughing about it. We're talking about the 1987 Kathryn Bigelow-directed film "Near Dark." Special topics for your consideration include: just trying to imagine being insanely beautiful, the utter horrors of child vampires, another tally in the "horses are smarter than us and ready to destroy us at a moment's notice" column, Bill Paxton in all of his weird clown glory, and a possible new business venture Allen devised.  There are one brazilian vampire movies in the world. Here are some of them: Episode 22- "Fright Night," Episode 70- "30 Days of Night," Episode 89- "Queen of the Damned," Episode 136- "The Lost Boys," Episode 153- "The Hunger," Episode 163- "Let the Right One In," Episode 190- "Interview with a Vampire," Episode 195- "What We Do in the Shadows," Episode 210- "From Dusk til Dawn," Episode 241- "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," Episode 310- "Among the Shadows," and Episode 317- "Dracula 2000." WHEWWWW. Find us online: Support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance and get bonus episodes about action movies Buy merch for yourself or those you love at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance on Twitter @werebulance on Instagram @werewolfambulance. [e-mail] If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow. Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down. Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast.   

Can you? I should speak for myself. You could probably imagine this. Being as beautiful as either Adrian Pazdar or Jenny Wright. Can you imagine this? Being as beautiful as either Adrian Pazdar or Jenny Wright? No. Can you imagine it? I watched this entire movie being like, these people are so beautiful. He has a chin for days. At one point I said, she's so smooth.

Because her contours were just so smooth. They're beautiful people. Beautiful. Beautiful. Which makes this movie very compelling. Although also very confusing. Or do they just like each other because they're so beautiful? Sure.

Yeah. And that's why everybody else hates them. Because they're busted. Mm-hmm. Because they're Bill Paxton. Yeah. With a funny scar that moves a bit. It's a little wiggly. What are we talking about this week? We're talking about the 1987 vampire film, Near Dark. Near dark? Near dark? Near dark? No, you're saying you're right. Should it be nearly dark? Almost dark? Twilight.

I think it's proximity to darkness. Yeah. You're near dark. No, I do think it's a double entend. Oh. Well, because it's almost, you know, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the night, the, the night, the the the the the that, that, that, that, the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the th. the th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that. that. thi. that. that. to darkness. Yeah. You're near dark. No, I do think it's a double entendre. Oh Well, because it's almost you know the nighttime is ending For sure. It's so bright in the nighttime. It'll blind you. It's also the only way to kill vampires apparently is light in this film in this universe. Yeah I got so upset because when we were your first meet, what is there name, May? Jenny Wright, she is eating an ice cream cone and I was like, they're not supposed to eat. She's never actually eating it and when you see the ice cream cone close up, it had never been licked. Why have it then?

Props? Like in the movie? No, no, I think it's like a like sexy thing, licking an ice cream cone, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to get to get to get to get to to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to to to to think it's like a like sexy thing licking an ice cream cone like to get men to be like oh la la la ice cream cone it's like the kid laying on the ground after pretending to overrect his bike right right right it's a it's a ploy to bring in Adrian Pazdar aka cowboy man I just feel like there are better props to have than an ice cream cone in Oklahoma in the summer if you can't lick it because it's just gonna be all over you you're gonna be a sticky mess and like who's who's

trying to fuck that this woman holding an ice cream cone oh man I just love fucking a sticky mess three quarters melted it's on her shorts like fucking a sticky mess. Three quarters melted it's on her shorts like. And you're like lick it so it doesn't melt and she's like mm-mm. Actually I'll puk. Yeah right away. That opening scene where like they first start interacting and he says something out biting or like like, can I have a bite? Yeah can have I have a bite? And she goes, Bites. Oh, I'm just dying to do that. Dying.

I was like, yo, this lady's mad corny. So fucking casual, Ismae. She also goes, you see that star and points at the sky. And there's no light pollution, you can see four Brazilian stars. And he's like, that's the first one I looked at. Which one? I love that. I hate when someone tries to describe a star to you. Have you been in this situation where someone's like that one?

No, to the left. And it's like, which? The sky? The one up. Yeah. I'm right. I see. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. th. th. the. tho, thoe. tho, tho, tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. the. the. the.! You think that's what I should do? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The one that looks like there's a pinhole in the sky. Oh my god. Then he closes her eyes and takes her to a horse, which I think is a very cruel thing to do.

Surprise! Yeah, it's a horse. Surprise, it's a horse. Like having someone walk blindly into a horse is mean. My notes are horse. Horse is mad. Horse runs! Horses know things. They're smart. They're scary. Oh, for sure.

Yeah. That horse knows things. Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't call him a friend. No, you and little are not friends. I call the passing a passing a I'd call a passing acquaintance. I don't know that I'd recognize him on the street. Would not invite little to a party. Little, little boy. No, I would not invite him to a party because he would eat all of the dip. It's true. Yeah. That's true. And then just shit while walking. Yeah. Also, I feel like if I'm a vampire and horses are

scared to me, I'm gonna say the fuck out of Oklahoma. Right. Yeah. Real heavy horse population. But then if you're hanging out with a bunch of like redneck vampires where else you're gonna hide them? Redneck vampires. Yeah I like one Lance Hendrickson says he fought for the South. Yeah. We lost. Actually I hate that it. I hate that. I hate that. I to to the the the the the the the shit. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I'm just th. I'm just th. I'm just th. I'm th. I'm just th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I thors thors thors thors thors thors th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm just th. I'm just th. I'm just th. I'm just just just just thi thi thi thi thi thii thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii thiiiiii thii thi. I'm Hendrickson says he fought for the South. Yeah. We lost. Actually, I hate that. I hated when Bill Paxton said, Merrill, we started that fire in Chicago.

Oh my god, yes. Remember that was us? Oh, okay. I guess if I was a vampire, I would just take credit for everything. Yeah, that's true. Because no one can prove you wrong.. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly???? that, exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was us us that was us that that that that that that that that that was us us us. that was us. that was us. that was us. that was us. that was us. that credit for everything. Yeah, yeah, that's true. Because no one can prove you wrong. Exactly, yeah. I'm Judas Iscariot. If you know things you take for, since you take credit for as a vampire. Anything you want. I'd be like, I'm Madonna, and people would be like, no, she's still alive. Actually, the original one. Oh, that one, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a virgin. Do you think Mary got boned after she had Jesus?

Or do you think she died a virgin? Or do you think she was like real committed to being the virgin Mary, like a straight-edge kid? You know what I mean? Was she always a virgin? That's cruel. I'm as hard as the nails that you put in the cross. These are lyrics to her being a virgin straight-edge song. Oh, okay, I like it. All day today I've had a line running through my head from the song Can't Deny it by Fabulous and Nate Dog or Fabulous featuring Nate Dog I cannot recall. Seems very on brand for you to have that stuck in your head. Yeah. Yeah. These. These. These. These. These. These. T. T. T. T. These. T. T, th. Was. Was. T, th, th, th, th, th, was. Was. Was, was. Was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was th, was th, was th, was th, was th, was th, was th, was th, was was th, was was was was was th, was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. These th. These the. the. the. the the the theat theat theat theat thea theaug the the the the the the. These Fabulous or Fabulous featuring Nate Dog, I cannot recall.

It seems very on brand for you to have that stuck in your head. Yeah, and it's, uh, chain so icy I got chill bumps on my neck. Ooh. And I can't stop saying it to myself. That's great lyricist, ah, bop, bob, bob. I get, bring some girls who cool with, I'm gonna bring the cool whip. Oh yeah, that's from Kanye stuck in my head all the time. Great lyricist. Yeah.

Monster. Terrible person. For sure. For sure. Fucking weird out. Oh, if it sounds weird right now, we're recording in the air-conditioned annex, because it's too fucking hot in desk chair that both spins and rolls, and it's taking all of my like energy and focus not to just move around the room. A roving reporter, Katie.

I could do it. I could just lay it out of the bed and do the podcast too. I like that. Yeah, maybe we can do like head to feet like in Charlie's in the Choggle Factor. the Choco Factory. Weird grandparents. So they're kissing. Oh yeah. It's very sessy.

Is it? I mean, there's a lot of kissing sounds which is a choice. Fucking. Fucking. Fuckin, what's Caleb, Caleb Colton? Just. It's like a mass car driver. His name is Loy Colton. Loy Colton. Played by Tim Thompson. Tim Tommerson. Tim Tommerson. It sounds like a

made-up name given to the cops. It is 100% that and you are also blackout drunk. Bobby Bobbertson. Yeah. He just goes like, oh, what if I just put all of my tongue in her throat? Just all of my tongue. It's so intense. It's so intense. And then the sound person was like, what would an entire tongue be in a mouth sounding like? I'm going to put this shoe in a wet bucket and just shake it. Slap it around. So she bites him. How could you? Well, the intention was to bite him, right? Yeah.

But to kill him. But she seems to be torn about it. She seems to like him, even though he just seems to be a basic bozo. And he's very beautiful. And he's like reciting poetry to his friend at the beginning, I think so. I guess we're supposed to, he's like, I wish I may, I wish I might might, I might, I Poetry, nursery, nerves are your rhymes. Same thing. I have a note that says she wants to nibble his jibbles and she does. Oh boy.

I don't know, but then he touches them. Yeah. Finds the blood on his hand and sniffs it, which I think is the strangest thing to do when you discover blood on yourself. I feel like it would make more sense to lick it than sniffing. Yeah, like to lick it or just rub your fingers in it like, and go, ooh, that's blood. Yeah, oh blood. I don't think I've ever sniffed my own blood. Have you? Just like intentionally, just been like, uh-uh, no. No. Maybe it's just like, is it. Is it. Is is is is. Is is. Is is. Is is. Is is. Is is. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Is is is just like, is just like, is just like, is just like, is just like, is just like, is just like, is just like, is just like, is just like, is just like, is just like, is just like, is just like, is like, is like, is it. Is it. Is it. Is it. Is it. Is it. Is it. Is it. Is it. Is it. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Is it. Is it. Is it. Is it. Is it. Is it. Is it. Is it. Is it. Is it. Is it. Is it. Is it. Is it. Is it. Is it. Is it. Is it. Is it. Is it. Is it. Is it. Is it. Is it. Is it, is, is, is, is just like, is just like, is just like, is just like, is just like, is just like, is just like, is just like, is just like, is just like, is just like, is just like, is just like, is just like, is just like, is it's like, isickies? What a dumb idea. Yeah, very high school. Yeah, for sure. We're in turtleneck for a week. Well, then you could just dip your gold chain out the top of the turtle. Well, yeah, and did. So his truck won't start, so he's stuck out in the

fields because it's only pastures and fields everywhere. I do love that aesthetic. I love the aesthetic of this movie. Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah oh yeah the idea of people who can be destroyed by the sun and there is only land-scape and sun. Why are they there? Go to like Seattle you know? Go to Pittsburgh for Christ's sake the sun never shines. It's for true. Yeah go to Alaska for 30 days a night. Oh yeah they should they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to go to go to go to go to go their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. theeee. thee. the. the. the. the. the. truth. Yeah, yeah, go to Alaska for 30 days a night. Oh yeah, they should make a movie about that. Copyright cut. Oh, wait. Oh, Josh Hartnett just slammed his hand down on his desk. No.

Tag-Nabbit? I must own this because I starred in the film. And this woman knows how films work, because she does a podcast. About films. Flum. thi. F F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Oh. Oh. Oh. thi. th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the t. the the the the toda. the toda. the toda. F. toda. toda. Oh've taken this idea from you. Why do I know the name of the guy who did the comic book version of that? No idea. I'm a nerd. That's like when Sylvester Stallone tried to make the writer of the book Cobra put his name on it as a writer because he like adapted it into a movie. He wanted to be re-released with him as an author just the author. That's a sick flex, isn't it? The author was like, and no.

So he starts running home through the field and Tangerine Dream who's doing the soundtrack of this film. Oh, I got a stop hand. No, I'm just giving anyone I can't wait to say what I'm going to say about this, and for some reason they were like, you know, we need to rip-off right now? Super Mario Brothers. B-B, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I, I, I, I, I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I'm, th. I'm th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thea. thea. thea. theateat theate. the. the. the the the the, we need to rip off right now? Super Mario Brothers. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, um. I thought it was like a Kenny log in Super Mario Brothers. It's like real upbeat, though. Not in a minor key, major key Super Mario Brothers. Yeah, damn right about Super Mario Brothers, though. And he's already smoking. He's like smoking, thi thiiii thi's like thi thi thi thi th the idea, the way they did the effect of him smoking.

And it happened so quickly. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I guess vampirism is like the worst thing you can pick up from a one-night stand. One of the worst things. Yeah, sure. Sure. But I do have a very good idea for a tourist industry that I want to get into later on this episode. I look forward to our newest venture.

So as he's running home, his sister Sarah, who is the true star of this film, in my opinion. She's so cute, so opinionated and badass, and just like, I do what I want, fuck all y'all. Didn't we literally put that line on a sticker once? Granted, it was a line lifted from Waxworks? Waxworks, yeah. I do what I want when I want. Never trust a woman named after a country. Country.

Yeah, because of China. And America, the girl I knew. America Vespuji. So as he's running home, Sarah spots him and dad Tim Thomerson. It's like, oh, what's he doing? And then a camper comes and snatches him out of the pasture. Yeah. I thought she was driving a truck in that scene.

And it was shot kind of strangely. And for a second I was like, Sarah driving the truck. Probably. Yeah. Kids on farms. They're driving early. So he's been picked up, you're too pretty. I don't want this. Let me cut him, Jesse. Let me cut him. I'm gonna slot your face off. Bill Paxson is utterly wild in this film. I, wild. This is hands down my favorite Bill Baxson performance. Sure. He is so just on point for being a like, why wouldn't you be a shithead if you were a vampire?

Like just a fucking piece of shit? You know why? Because I long for the sweet release of death where I can stop thinking about all the times I was either purposefully or accidentally shitty. He has to think about it forever. But no, if you're a vampire, you have no moral compass. You don't have to worry about anything anymore, because murder is already on the menu. Is it just gone when you become a vampire, or is it because you do all the murdering?

Well, it's an interesting thing. Yeah. There's the theory that they lose their soul when they become a vampire. Okay. Therefore, losing their Judeo-Christian idea of morality. Like Angel and Buffy, who lost his soul and then gets it back and now he doesn't want to kill anymore. Is that what happened to Caleb in this movie too? Does his dad transfakes his soul? I think he just might be a Dildo? I also just love Lance Henrickson as Jesse Hooker.

Their names, Jesse Hooker, Diamondback. First of all, if I'm going to be Immortal, I'm coming up with the new fucking name for myself because I'm not going to be Katie for fucking ever. You're going to be Diamondback. I thought about it. I was like, what would I name myself? And then I kept thinking and thinking, and honestly, Diamondback was the best thing I came up with. Cotton, Nye Joe. Yeah. Gondyine, thin, wine?

Juvenile. So, oh, sorry. Jesse Hooker, diamond back, Homer and Severn. the severin. He says don't mispronounce it. How could one mispronounce Homer? Severn calls him Boner through the entire move. Oh I get it. Yeah. I just thought he was calling him a boner. Got it. So Severin steals a car, they burn the camper. They just fire guns wildly into it. What? Again, the idea of the vampire redneck. Yeah, that's true. That is a very redneck thing to be firing guns. Something's on fire.

Something's on fire. Prylip. And he's just like, Caleb's just like, what's going on here? Do you actually, this woman bitch you on the neck and then they can't go out in the sunlight. What do you fucking? What do you? What do th? What do th? What do th? What do th. What do th? What do you? What do you? What do you? What do? What do? What do? What do? What do you th? What do you th? What do you th? What do you th? What do you th? What do you th? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This is, th. This? This? This is, th. This? This is, th. This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? th. This? th. This? th. This? th. This? th. This? th. What is, th. What is, th. What is, the th. What is, the the the th. What is the the th. What is the th. What is the th. the the th. th. the th. th. th. thi. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th sunlight. What do you fucking think, yading-a-dung? I have a question for you. When he was smoking, he's got like soot around his ears and his eyes, but it's like greasy? Are they alluding to like the fat burning off of him? Is that why he's greasy or is he sweaty? I think you're on to something with the fat thing? Okay. Because it also seems to heal very quickly. Sure. Yeah, because later on in the film we see that Severn gets half his face burnt by the sun, and

then later it's fine, yeah. And he also doesn't seem to keep going face first in a pickup or a Mack truck seems to be fine with them too. Yeah, they just can regenerate. I have a couple questions about vampires that I was apparently thinking about at this point in the movie. Okay. Do vampires poop? Uh, I mean if they did it would just be blood, right? That's horrifying. Yeah. Do vampires have to take a shower?

Problem. Uh, not for any other reason than to get dirt off them, I wouldn't think. Just wondered. It's like this beautiful window into your life. I need to be able to poop, I need to be able to take shower. Can I do both those things as a vampire? It's not that I want to be a vampire, I want to be a vampire, it's just that I want to know what their days are like. Because these people are just traveling around in this Winnebago. They all look very filthy. It's a hot summer. And then I thought where do they shower? And then I thought do they have to shower? They must. Something must happen because we see Bill Paxson at one point real cleaned up. Yeah. We're in his like country and western garb. Do vampires pee? they don't drink water? I don't think. I don't think. I think. I think. I think. I think. I think. I think. I think. I think. I think. I think. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm something. I'm something. I'm something. I'm something. I'm something. I'm something something. I'm something something. I'm something. I'm something. I'm. I'm. I, something. I, something. I, something. I, something. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I. I, I, I. I, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th like... See, this is a... This is my True Blood conundrum.

Okay. Right? Because in True Blood, they cry, and when they cry, they cry blood. Oh no! So I'm like, I don't know if you've ever watched the True Blood. No, my Nana liked that show though. It's constant vampire-fucking. Yeah. a show with very athletic sex. She loved vampires and she loved attractive people fucking on TV.

Oh, then this was the perfect show for her. And then I'm just like, okay, so if they're crying blood, are they also, you know? Do they come blood? That's what I was wondering. Do they shit blood? Is it everything replaced with blood? I gotta go take a leak, a stream of blood. You like get a little Q-tip and rub it around your ear just like blood, blood city. You blow

your nose? Holy shit. Crying blood would indicate that everything in your head is blood. Right. That is crazy. If I blew my nose and a whole, whole bunch of blood came out, I think I'd want to take a shower. Oh yeah, sure, sure. I don't know. that. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the blood. Blood, blood. Blood, blood. Blood, blood. Blood, blood. Blood, blood. Blood, blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood is. Blood is. Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood is blood. Blood is blood. th. Blood is blood is blood is blood is. th. th. th. th. th is. Blood is. th is. th is. th is. Blood is. th is. th is. th is. th is. th is. th is. th is. th is. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the t. Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. B. Blood. B. t. the. the. th. the th. th. came out, I think I'd want to take a shower. Oh yeah, sure, sure. I don't know. Just get like a piece of chewing gum, start salivating your mouth is full of blood. What? Can vampires chew gum?

No, they can't eat human food. But you're not supposed to swallow gum. I do, but you're not supposed to. I've literally not sa a a the in like five years because I just can't control myself. So Caleb is like rolling around with these people and he's like man I gotta go home I gotta go back to Tim Thomerson he's gonna be mad. Because they haven't like he hasn't eaten, he hasn't drunk from a person yet so he's just really ill. Right, right. He's not sick, he's ill. He's in the in-between phase.

Right. Because like, they're like, he's not one of us and and May's like, I bid him but I didn't bleed him. What does that mean? I didn't bleed him? I didn't bleed him out. I didn't drink all of his blood. I didn't make his numnums. Right. What that. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. he's he's he's he's he's, he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he's he's he's not he's not he's not he's not he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he. he. he. he I think bleed him was, I didn't bleed him out, I didn't drink all of his blood. I didn't make his numnums. Right, well obviously he's walking around, May? May's not the swiftest. No, May doesn't have a lot of agency. No. So he finds himself in a bus station where he gets stopped by a cop who puts his hand on him and says you've got blood on you, but he also has just a very bloody bandage on his hand and I know that that's there to show Caleb being like, oh blood. Yeah, yeah, but also like, sir? Sir? You're dripping. Why is that very

bloody bandage there? If that is blood through the gauze you need a new bandage? I was like are they telling me that he was bit by a vampire? I don't know. Like Jaws style mom I got bit by a vampire or like what's the deal here? I don't know. The cops nice enough to give him three bucks to get the hell out of Dodge. Yeah. To go back to like I can't remember what the name of the town? Lawton, Oklahoma. He's trying to go the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. thoes. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I to go. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I to go. I to go. I to go. I to go. I to to to to to to to to to to to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the tode. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. Lawton, Oklahoma? He's trying to go to Fix, Oklahoma. Fix. And the bus station goes, where the hell is Fixed? Great question. Did you notice the aliens on the marquee at the cinema that he ran by me? I did. I love that. I love that this is a little reunion of Lance Hendrickson, Bill Paxton and Jeanette Goldstein. Is that it? Yeah, yeah. This would have been the the th. th. th. th. th. T the th. T th. T the the th. T the th. T the the th the the th the the the the the th the the the the the the the the the the time the time thine. thine. thus is the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. thus is thus is to to to tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. te. te. thea. the. the. the. the. Mm-hmm. Is that it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This would have been the time when they would still be married or together. Who? Catherine Bigelow and James Cameron.

Oh. Am I wrong about that? I don't know. Hold on, to the internet. Da da da da da. Catherine Bigelow. Yeah, married, well, thii. Catherine Bigelow. I think they were. Yeah, married, well, married 1989, divorce 1991.

Okay. So, yeah. I'm gonna assume they were together at that point in time. Yeah, probably at least, at least making out. Yeah. At least, at the very least, tombent. At very least, just shoving a whole tongue in someone's mouth and going, Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th, oh, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th, th, tho, tho, the the the the tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. th. I I th. th. I th. I th. Oh, th, th, th, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, thi. Oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, too. Oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh's mouth and going, Oh, no-oh-no. Also, Jeanette Goldstein, you are one versatile, fucking actor. How are you not in more stuff?

I wish she got more to do. I feel like in these movies, she's always a supporting role, but she had very few lines in this. I would have liked a whole lot more of her. Yeah. She don't know. You don't know. Yeah, what are they do in here? You don't know. What are they doing here? What are these kids doing here? What are these kids doing? Who the tip? Who the thi? Who? Who? Yeah, what are they? Yeah, what? Yeah, the the the the kids? Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the the the the the the the the to eat a Clark bar. I think it's a Zagnet. Oh is it a Zagnot? I think it's his Agnet. Okay. Okay. Similar packaging. Yeah. And throws up. And that's when the cop grabs him and then gives him his money to tells him to go home. Yeah. Why is he foaming when he's on the bus? I don't know. He foams thii. hea fom- He foams hea fom- He foa fom- He foa. th. thi. thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. S. S. th. S. th. th. S. th. S. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. ti. ti. toooo. S. S. S. S. S. tog. S. tog. S. tog. tog. tog. S. to. S. S. S. S. S. S. th. too. I think it's just he's so hungry. I think it's like acid reflux that he's so hungry. Because he ends up just like basically diving off the bus. Yeah. Yeah. And he's whimpering a lot. Yeah, like a werewolf. Or a little guy. Yeah. I mean he seems really sick. Uh-huh. He does. And he finds May. And he finds May. And then they horny-teed and feed him blood blood. Yeah, suddenly he's the heed. He's he's. He heed. He heed. He heed. He heed. He heed. He heed. He heed. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's th. He's th. He's heed. He's he. He's he. Yeah. He's he. He's th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's. Yeah. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's. He. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th suddenly he's a super horn dog after that. So she. Yeah, well she's she's always trying to bone down. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Caleb's poor dad. What a nightmare. Yeah. What a nightmare. I do like that he and Sarah are extremely proactive and they're like the cops aren't doing shit. We're gonna go fucking find him. They should have like had someone stay at their house and wait and see if he. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. their. their. their. their. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they're. they're. they're. they're. Yeah. they're. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. they're. Yeah. they're. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the their. their. should have like had someone stay at their house and wait and see if he called or came back. Or an answering machine? Yeah. I mean, were there answering machines in 1989? 87? Yeah, I think so.

Probably so. It's like you could just go buy one at the store if you live in Fix Oklahoma in the thi-oak I just love his name is Loi. So we see like all of the vampires doing their like little bits to get blood. They're hunting. They're hunting. Sure. I was calling their little bits. The bits. Yeah, they're skits. Like the kid, Homer, pretends to fall off his bike. And then when someone bends over and he just grabs them and chomps, which I think is the best bit. That character has always really bothered me, as you know.

This time I found it, I think I went into like, I hate that fucking kid, that fucking kid sucks so bad. And then I watched it, I was like, oh it's a tragic story. Yeah, he's so sad. He's so sad. I mean, I think only surpassed by, what's your face? Little baby, Kerson Dunst. Yeah, I think I just maybe hate children actors smoking cigarettes. Yeah, it was 1987 though, we all did. I was three.

Well, I was what, 13? Yeah, I was definitely smoking. Oh, for Shizzle. Can I bring what, 13? Yeah, I was definitely smoking. You were smoking. Oh, for Shizzle. Can I bring him back around? The actor that plays Homer, wrote, grew up to write the film, The Final Girls, which I loved so much. Yeah, and his dad is Father Carus. Oh.

Oh. The Exorcist, he wrote the movie about him. Interesting. Yeah. And isn't his brother... Oh boy. I had one fact you're like, listen, now I know things. So I think his brother is a... Jason Patrick. Yes. It says, yeah, right, it's his half brother, but yeah, that's still your brother. Yeah. It's like the Jason Patrick. Yeah. It's like the Jason Patrick. Yes. It says, yeah. Yeah, right. It's his half brother, but yeah. That's still your brother. Man, it's like the Jason Patrick got all the look, so. Yeah, you never wrote no movie though. No, it's true.

And a great movie. Oh, I love that movie. That pulled my heart strings a lot. Yeah. That movie could have fallen apart at a thaaaaaaaaaaaaaa tha tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. thoe. thoe. thoe. thoe. the. thea. thea. thea. thoen. thoen. that the. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that that that that that that that that that that that thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. theaaaaaaaa that that that's that's that's that's that that's that's that that that that that that that that that movie could have fallen apart at a thousand different places and didn't. He just didn't. Also, apparently he was on a Halloween 3 season of the Witch. Oh, what did he play? What are the kids in a mesque?

Willie Chalice. So, you got that? Isn't Tom Atkins' character is Dr. Dan Chalice. So, yes. The winner for Biggest Nerd is? Alan. I'm sorry that I had to top your facts, but as soon as you uncorked that fact, I was like, other facts have come up.

You were like, I didn't know that were going to be facts your facts but as soon as you uncorked that fact I was like other facts have come up you were like I didn't know they were gonna be facts at this event so Caleb and May are hunting by like letting kids get in their car hitchhikers I guess no uh uh Caleb and may get in the with the truck driver that's right that's right Jesse Hooker and Diamondback that's right only referred to them by their full names. Sure. Get in our piggy-hiker rapists. And the kid, one of the kid says,

she is so beautiful and we are so fucking stupid. I was like, wait, why though? I think he said you're so fucking stupid. I told he said that. I he. I he. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm t. I'm ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti............. It's possible. And like O'May looks a little bit embarrassed while Caleb's not biting the truck driver. She's totally annoyed with him. Come on, just chicken. She keeps pushing him. I'm just pushing him. I'm just like, put my neck out there for you just, just put it, oh. And the truck driver's like, I don't want to live anymore. to just kill me. the the truck. truck. truck. tttttttttttttttru. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. the the the the the the's the the's the's the's the's the. the. the. the. the. the. the. true. true. true. true. true. true. She. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true.. I want to give you to the ball shit. This is how you drive a truck. You're going to have to do it later. Remember this.

It's a very long truck tutorial. You're like, this won't come back. to be clear about something? We're ta. Okay, number one. Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Wow! I don't care. I watched all the time with my nunna. We loved that movie. There's so much acrobatics.

It's so funny. Donald's other one's so cool. Luke Perry was so cute. I don't care. I love that that's your answer. That's so great. You're like, oh, why did I do that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that. almost seven years. What's your favorite vampire movie? Uh, unpopular opinion? Yeah.

Bramstokers Dracula. I fucking love it. Yeah, that's fine. You can have it. Maybe we need to revisit that one when you're not pregnant and won't be forced to vomit when you see a meat scene. Oh, man. Yeah, that could be.

So, um, of course, Jesse Hooker and Diamondback just fucking murder the guys who get into the truck with them, which I like. Yeah. Because I do like that they said, oh man, you're gonna kill those kids. Oh, the rapists? Never mind. Yeah, right. Exactly. Yeah. So here's a question I have about vampires. Okay, yet another question about vampires. So, May kills the truck driver and sucks his blood. Yeah. Real quick. Just real quick, just a little nibble.

And then she has to like cut her arm so that he can drink from her blood. And she's like, don't take too much or I might die. Why can't he just have the truck driver leftovers like... Maybe he didn't want to suckle upon me. What's that? Why don't they just split an entree? It does have a doggy feck. Maybe he just didn't want to like he wants to suck her wrist, not that guys. Well, beggars and choosers and all that. He's very ill. It's true. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi they they they they they they they their their their their their their their their their their their their. Maybe their. Maybe their. Maybe their. Maybe their. Maybe th. Maybe th. Maybe th. Maybe th. Maybe th. Maybe thi. Maybe thi. Maybe thi. Maybe thi. Maybe thi. Maybe thi. Maybe theeeea. Maybe thea. Maybe theeateatea. I's thea' thea' theatea' theatea' thea' thea' thea. Maybe the that. He's very ill. It's true. I don't like it. I believe Missy's response was typical man making the woman do all the work. Honestly, all the fucking cooking, cleaning.

I love that scene though where she's feeding him and the oil derricks are going and the lightnings flashing and it's like, God damn Catherine Biggala, you knock this fucker out of the park. Yeah, this film is, I just love everything about the way it looks. Yeah, second best movie she's ever directed. Zero Dark 30? Point break. The hurt locker, the one she won an Oscar for a point break. The hurt locker, the one she won an Oscar for a gimm break and realized the error of their weight. Really though she's great. Yeah, she's a fantastic director. You can start, I mean the two main leads from this film had, they didn't, you know,

they've been in things, but they're not like huge stars, they're not household names. No, no. He's, uh, Adrian Pazard did a TV. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thard did a lot of TV. Yeah, I think so, like USA Network Television or something. But like, you can tell she's getting the best out of them. You know what I mean? Oh, 100%? Yeah, yeah, and then like, actors like Lance Henrickson and Bill Paxon are just like, yeah, you're gonna get actually a hundred and ten percent. Yeah, you're gonna get a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot out of this. Definitely. And Homer. Homer. He says the line, he's so damn ugly and makes my gumsake. To which I thought, but why? Do vampires gum ziophy. Do vampires get gingerbytis?

Do vampires brush their teeth? Because if they're going to brush their teeth, they can't use water? Because they can't drink water. Yeah, I mean, they wouldn't have to, like, they wouldn't have they. they. they. they wouldn't have they. they. they. they. they. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the. the. the. the. to the. to to the. to the. to the. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. to the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to the. the. the. the. toe. the. the. toe. toe. toe. toe. toea. toeauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuaa. toea. toea. toea. Ge. to like, I don't know, like if they're getting like very sugary blood it's gonna eat the enamel of their teeth away. What are their teeth made? I guess maybe their teeth aren't just anamol anymore. Bone covered anamol. Anamol covered bone the other way around. I do like I do like that they never see fangs on them. No I do too. So there's never that that th. th. th. th. th. th they's like they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th thi thi thi thi thi thi the the. I thin they don't like the. I they they they they they they they they they they're they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they thi. I than an than an than. I than. I than. I than than than than than ty an ty an teat than. than. thanan. thananan. I th's never that uncomfortable transition of like, oh now they have to go k-kh about something. Yeah, they don't do a lot of thing which is, I mean they do none of that, which is great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Would you like to be a vampire so you wouldn't have to brush your teeth for all eternity? No, I like brushing my teeth. Oh, I like brushing my theatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheat. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheathing. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, that, that throooooooooooooooo. Yeah, th. Yeah, that that that thr. Yeah, thooooeth and you like having the dentist picket your teeth. Oh, I love having the dentist pick at my teeth. So I go every day.

Combined, we make a healthy mouth. I do brush my teeth, I just dread it. No. Dread it every day. I'm a, I'm a walk around the house brushing your teeth. Oh, you're just looking at things. Yeah, looking at things, looking at things, looking at things, putting, putting, putting, putting, putting, putting, putting, putting, putting, putting, putting, putting, putting, put, put, put, th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. to thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, we to to, we to, we to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. the, I the. the. the. the. the. theat, the. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. to to to to to to guess I'll go check it out. Oh, what's happening out the window? Hey! Here's the name without a shirt on brushing his teeth! So luckily it's the 1980s and you can bring a child into a bar because they do. Yeah. At like a roadhouse, kind of roadside saloon. Sure. Sure.

Where they are just planning to kill everyone in there. Planting and achieving. Except for one. Who is played by? I don't the th. I. the the the the the the th. the the the the the th. the the the the th. the the th. the the th. Here th. Here's th. Here's th. Here's th. Here's th. Here's th. Here's th. Here's the the the the. Here's the. Here's thehea's their their their's without without without without their their. Here's their. Here's their. Here's their. Here's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Here's the th. Here th. Here th. Here th. Here. Here. Here the. Here's the. Here's the. Here's name. Here's name. Here's name. Who is thea. Who is named thea. Who is named thoooooooooooooooooesnenenenene. Here's thea. Here's the there. Planning and achieving. Achieving, except for one. Except for one. Who is played by? I don't know. James LaGroes, star of Phantasm 2. Oh, James LaGroes. Old Grossie, old Grosso. Your skin's as soft as a preacher's belly. That's so scary. When he says that, that's the scariest moment in the film Don't you think? Yeah, yeah, it's such a good like, ugh, why would you know

that? And like, why would you say that? Well, I'm going to say it all the time now. Oh, look at your hands. Just gets a soft as a preacher's belly. Oh, that's weird gets away, that's James LaGroes. James are gross, yeah. I like that he watches all of this happen without any like reaction or instinct to move towards the door. He's just like, no, no. Do you like when Caleb, uh, Severin gets Caleb worked up enough to punch the one dude out. Yeah.

Punches him across the room and goes, did I do that? And Severin goes, did I do that? And I was like, this is where Urkel started. This is the genesis of Urkel. Because Lance Hendrickson laughs at it. He's like, oh, did I do that? It's like, well, you just figured out the line is funny. I'm the Urkel now, dog. Oh no. The poor waitress, so they menace her and then slit her throat and put a pint glass underneath it to catch the blood.

I really like the bartender's reaction. Which is like nothing? Which is just like, uh, what do you want? Yeah. It's like, how do I, how do I get myself out of this situation? Yeah, he doesn't. I'm going to die. Oh yeah, it's really good. And then we see the weird Christopher Maloney in a wig look a look at the bar. Do you look like Chris Maloney? I did. I hate it when they ain't been shaved.

Ugh. Also, it's finger looking good, he says. Bill Paxson is killing it. He is just, I mean he is, he's a handbone, for sure. Yeah. RIP. He uses that cool razor boot spur to slice up the dude. I can't imagine that would actually be an effective weapon.

I mean, the motion of your leg, it's only gravity only gravity you know what I mean you're not going to be able to be suit you know what maybe he does yoga every day and has for the last 150 years you know I think you could fuck somebody up with it but just to get those like super accurate cuts every time but what do I know from spurs? You can hit their clavicle and be like if there's any cowboys if there's any cowboys. If If the there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's any their their their there's any their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their toy. I toy. I they. I they. I their they. their their their their their their their their their their the podcast or listening to the podcast and I insist that you be a cowboy. I don't want to hear from people who just know spur stuff. Why? Why can they tell us? No, I want a cowboy. I need cowboy information on this. What about cow women? I'm talking to cowboys out there. Oh, that is discrimination. Cow women. Cal people. Cal folks. Cal friends. Yeah, if anyone knows if you could actually sharpen a spur enough to make it a deadly, because I know you could, you know, they're horse stabbing the sides of horses.

Yeah because they deserve it. Look, I'm not, their horse people are the one doing this some. I didn't invent it. It's true. It's true. Also in that scene in the background you see that the bar has a Miller Highlife calendar on the wall which I deeply wish I had. You fucked up for the last time boy. Yes, because May is dancing with a sobbing, Lagrosso, which is very sad. It's a very like, this is a really long scene.

And this is sort of towards the end of it where he's just crying and being swayed by me yeah this beautiful lady's about to kill you yeah but he somehow gets away because she's like a he's for you to kill and then he jumps out the window yeah she was probably gonna get a little nibble on him so you can share an entree. Well, why don't they? It's Caleb, not her. He's, that's picky. You can't be a picky eater when you're a vampire, I feel. So LaGroes jumps out the window.

Caleb chases him. Yeah. Uh, tackles him, and then he's like goes to the cops. Of course, yes. And also at the end of the scene, someone calls another character a shit box, which I liked a lot. There's a lot of good shit, shit box, shit bug. Shit bug. Someone calls someone else a shit bug. It's pretty good.

It's probably Bill Paxton. It sounds like a Paxtonian thing to say. Yeah, I think he was adlibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibib. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th shit insults. Like shit bug? And they were like, no, that's good. Shit hospital? No, that one's not going to work, so you have to cut that. I'd like to rent one of your bungalows. Haven't you been here before? Get here every 50 years or so. They have to stop cutting it so close with the sun coming up. It seems to be a running theme. You know what's going to happen. Just just home a little earlier. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean, they need, none of them seem to be wearing watches. They've got this Lucy Goose lifestyle with a very strict time limit. Yes. And they're living, you're right that they're just living the high life though. Oh yeah. they're messy vampires. Sure, sure. Sure. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're they're. You're. You're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're Just eating with food all over their faces. They're messy vampires. Sure, sure, sure, as we've become accustomed to. Yeah, that they've maintained the traditional vampire. Just eat like a person. You're supposed to be this like dignified, immortal being and you're like literally eating like a person at a pie eating content. Just stick a bubble tea straw in somebody's

ta to take care of business. Absolutely. So the cops show up, of course they do. Bill Baxter opens the curtains and goes, oh, damn you lied! You knew what time it was. Are you shocked? Why did you open the curtains then, Buckarie? Maybe being a vampire means you never really know what time it is. I would love that. Wouldn't you love to lose track of time for just like one fucking minute? You were doing it right now. I'm not. I know what time it is. It's probably 814. Oh, 815. Oh, look at my watch. 814. I want them to be clear I did not break eye contact with Alan. What's the deal with Lance Hendrickson's nose sunglasses? Why do they even know? To keep them from burning, to keep his nose from burning in the sun. Just stay out of the sun.

Mm-hmm. Well, yeah, but even if you have to put it on, I think they're like a polar expedition thing. Oh, okay. So you don't get Sure, since he's the designated driver. Yeah. So they have a shootout with the cops, which is great. It's a lot of fun. The first cop just gets blown to smithereens. Yeah. Yeah.

Billbacks, it has some kind of like, Oh, let's get this party started and shoots the front door. Of course he does. No, he says. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No, he says. No, he says. No, he says. No, he says. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they the the the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. thea. thea. thea. the. thea. thi. thi. they have they they. Because they're in a motel sea. But I love that like, I feel like in other vampire things, like the sun hits them and they're like, oh, ow, and then there's a little smoke and these guys the sun hits them and they're just, boom, shhhhhhh! There's fire. Up in fucking flames. But they can heal from it. It does not kill them. For sure. Yeah, yeah. So Caleb does a bit of a firewalk to get over to the van to put them up. Smokey walk. Yeah. No, he gets a little firing. It's true. The blanket catches on fire, for sure. He drives the van

right into the bungalow, which I loved, because obviously what if he had just run over the van of the van and I thought, where do you get all of this fucking foil? You must have to get so much of it. They're going down to Costco, they're buying bulk? Yeah, I hope so. I hope so. I love that the bungalow you can drive through anything. to drive in and out of bungalows. This man can drive through anything, motel, cop, car. Yeah, it does. It just keeps going. Bill Baxson gives him a spur. It says you've done good boy. And Homer does the like down low too slow. Yeah. And then shakes his hand. And then shakes

his hand. So we learned that Homer had turned May because he was pretending to be a fifth grader who needed help with his homework. Yeah, she was a th. And th. And th. And th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th was pretending to be a fifth grader who needed help with his homework. She was a high school student. Twisted and weird. Uh-huh. A little bit. Also when he brings Sarah home, twisted and weird. Yeah. Yeah.

He's willing to die to kill her. Yes, he really is. And he's also just smoking cigarettes. Yeah. It's my 277. 27. There were no rules. I love when they're playing poker and he's like, ah, I got to take the air. Which he calls, they call five-card Russian roulette. Yeah. What did that mean? I don't know. I thought Russian roulette was when you put a gun to your head. It is. It is. It is. Yeah. I assume he said that because Lance Henderson was loading guns at the time. Okay. And they're like, huh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I the the the the the th. Yeah, yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I they're, they're, they're they're, they're, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're, I they're, I they're, they're, they're they're, they're, they're they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their th. I th. I tho. tho. tho. I tho. the. I tho. I the. I tho. I they're they're they're they're they're they're they're Henderson was loading guns at the time. Oh, okay. And they're like, huh, yeah, let's play poker.

I thought it was like a new game they'd made up and I was interested in the rules. You play a hand of poker and then a hand of a hand of Russian roulette. Uh, poker doesn't make any sense the vending machine. This is why I hate this character too. Why? Because he's an old man taking a child back to a motel room and everyone's okay with it. Yes, that's why. But he's also a little boy.

No, he isn't though. Did Jeanette Goldstein, Diamondback, forgive me, turn him? Because at one point, like someone calls her his mother? Yes. Okay. I think so. Okay. Because, thrown, the to'er.

Right. That's fucked up. Yeah. Like, turning a child is just fucked up. There's like that joke in what we do in the shadows, the TV show, about how Laslow turned a baby in the Bronx or whatever, and then they show the baby just crying. Oh, God damn, that show's so good. Oh, can you imagine an immortal baby?

That's a fucking nightmare. Bat! Bat! When he yells Bat to turn into a bat, it makes me laugh every time. I love him. I love Matt Barry so th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. th. I'm tho. tho. tho. I'm tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I thoen, tho. tho. I tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho. tho. tho. I tho. I tho. Oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, tho, tho, that, that, that, tho. Oh, tho. I'm thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Oh, tho. Oh, th and makes me laugh every time. I love him. I love Matt Barry so much. Oh God. I wish the IT crowd wasn't so tainted by Graham Linahan being like a transphobic monster. Yeah, I know. Because that's just really funny. I know. Everybody went on it so good. So yeah the he brings Sarah back and they're gonna watch TV but then they live in a time when TV goes away I do I sort of like I remember it vaguely

Yeah, I would think you would have been at the very tail end of that happening. Yeah and pretty little and probably shouldn't have been up so late and I watching TV. No, no, and then you would have later been up that late watching Ron Popeel and other things that would be on at two o'clock in the morning.???????? th. th. the th. the th. th. Yeah, the the th. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, th. Yeah, they. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, they. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, I'm, I, th. Yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I. I. I. I, I, I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. the, I the, I the, I the, and the the the the the the the the their, and their, their, their, their, their, tha their, tha. tha. tha tha. tha tha. their, their, their, the morning. Yep. Oh, I wanted to say the, like, Homer's thing of like, makes my gums ache and he needs to take the air. I like those lines because they make him feel old. Yes, he used to show him what he truly is, which is an old man. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's a hellishishish i. I' i. I's a, it's a, it's a. I's a. I's a. I's a hell. I's a. I's a. I's a. I's a. I's a. I's a. I's a. I's a. I's a. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It. It. It. It. It's. It. It's. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th.. Yeah. Oh my god, yeah, being an adult trapped inside a child body. Like a pre-pubescent child. Yeah.

Very bizarre. I mean, let the right one in. Yeah, right. Awful. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, totally terrifying. Totally weird. Sarah just pushes him away, though. I thought, wow, she's stronger than a vampire. Oh yeah, she's badass. And then the dad comes in and he shoots Lance Hendrickson,

and Lance Hendrickson coughs up the bullet that he's just been shot with, which is the coolest thing. Yeah, that's a total power move and I'm way into it. Yeah, he puts it in his pocket, which I love. Then I started wondering, is Caleb, Sarah's, Sarah, the th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that that that that that's that's that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that, that, that, that, that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that that thia that that that that that that that that that that that's that's age. Sarah's what like seven? Seven, eight? Yeah. I was Caleb. 30? No, I think he's supposed to be like 17 or 18. Sir, he is not. I know he's not, but I think he's supposed to be a high school student. Because May is also supposed to be a high school student. Well, she's supposed to be four years out of high school. Well, I guess she still looks like a high school. thirty, right, right, right, right, right, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi, thi, thi, thi, th Right, right, yeah. Okay. Because no adult man has ever been a true... Anyway, the true horrors of the world. So his dad is a vet and a veterinarian, not a veteran, and he might be a veteran to you. I'm not trying to disparage his whatever, thank you for your

service. I could see that thought process happening and I was so excited about it. You're like, here's where Katie's starts justifying her thoughts. He does a blood transfusion of his own blood into Caleb. You ever done a transfusion on a person? No, he's a veterinarian. God, I hope not. Tim Thomson likes to get a little wild sometimes. Yeah, he's at parties just transferringing between people. Loi, did you steal all my blood again? Boy, you gotta put some back in. Damn it, Loy. So this works. Yeah. Okay.

Here's my idea. Oh yeah. Vampire Tourism. Oh you get to try it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Oh, fuck. I was like, I was like, what are they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they the they the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. that. the th. th. the th. the th. th. th. the the that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. try it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, fuck. I was like, what are they doing? Leave one of them a vampire, great vampire tourism. Yeah, I would love to be like super fucking strong. Mm-hmm. I'd love to like... I want to see how bright the night is. I want to see, they're like we see better at night. And I was like to be a terrible vampire. the the night, the thapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapap an thia. thia. Yeah, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm like, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, their, their, their, their, their, their, their anymore. I'd like to have good vision. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could test out this pee and boop and blood thing. I'd like to see what happens when I use the bathroom. I'd like to be able to eat without inhibition, you know? But you couldn't eat because you throw up. Well, I would just, what I'm saying, what I'm saying, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, when, when, when, when, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I, the, I, th, I, th, I, I, I, to to, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd to to to to to to the, I'd, I'd to the, I'd the, I, I'd, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I the, I the, I the, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd to the, I'd the, I'd the, I'd the, I'd the, I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, to to to th. to th. to to th. to to tha. I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd to man's. I'd like to white my face after each bite, you know. But I would just like to be a messy girl for a little while. I was eating an egg salad sandwich before you came over and I was just like, I gotta

get, make sure none of that's left in this fucking thing. You make that egg salad? I'm a maid. I'm a maid. Yeah, I'm a thii. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was a th. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was a the egg. I was a the egg. I was a the egg. I was a the egg. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was eating. I was eating. I was a th. I was eating. I was a the the egg salad. I was a the the egg salad. I was a th. I mustard. Little mustard. Yellow mustard? Yellow. Yellow. Yellow. Yellow. I feel like Dijon adds a little bit too much because I also put Old Bay seasoning in there. Old Bay. You're such a Delawareian. Spice of my people. Yeah, yeah. Because it's got a, you know, it's got like like cayenne in and a bunch of different stuff. Paparica. Which is like the topping of a deviled egg. the t. Sp the t. Sp spice spice spice spice spice spice spice spice spice spice spice spice spice spice spice the the the the the the t. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. t. t. t. t. toy. t. t. toy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. t. Yeah. t. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. t. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the the t. the the t. the t. t. the the t. t. the the t. t. t. t. the t. the t. the t. like the topping of a deviled egg, which is a delicious egg. And a ton of goddame salt.

Yeah. Okay. It's a good time. How to go? Old Bay, check it out. Okay, I will. I will. I've also been real into making Old Bay corn. Oh, you just see you stir in the old bay to the butter and then, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, the, the, the, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, too, the, the, the, the, to, the, too, the, the, the, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so. Oh, so. Oh, so. Oh, so. Oh, so. Oh, so, so. Oh, so. Oh, so. Oh, so, so. Oh, so. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, t. Oh, t. Oh, t. Oh, t. Oh, tttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttoo. And, ttoo. And, ttoo. Oh, ttoo. Oh, too. Oh, too. Oh corn I wonder if you could do that and then grill it if it would stick around yeah

or what I did was a light coating of butter grilled it and then coated in the old bay and butter yeah okay I'm gonna try that yeah yeah mm-hmm I don't like corn on the cob what my teeth my teeth my teeth my teeth my teeth my teeth my teeth my teeth my teeth my teeth teeth teeth teeth teeth teeth toe are toe are toe are toe the the the toe the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the teeth are te te te teeth are teeth are teeth are teeth are teeth are teeth are teeth are teeth teeth are teeth teeth my teeth teeth my teeth my teeth my teeth are te the te the the the the the cob. See that's what I'm talking about. If I could just be a vampire I would be a messy girl and I would just let shit get stuck on my teeth. Too many teeth in my mouth. Too many teeth. I have a surplus of teeth in here. My mouth is too small for the number of teeth I have. That's the problem. So anyway. Anyway y'all think about copyright copyright copyright on vampire tourismism. thism. thism. thism. thism. thism. thism. thism. thiiiii thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the the the the thi the. I'll thi th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll thi thi thi thi the the. I would the. I would the. I would thi thi thi thi thi th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the the the the the to the to to to to to to to to to theat to to to to to to theeat the the the the the oh, by the way, copyright, copyright on vampire tourism. Oh, yeah, you guys can't have that. Also, it will backfire and we will go to jail. So you murdered a bunch of people. Well, not exactly.

They signed the waiver. They signed the waiver. So, May shows back up at his house, and she's like, why did you leave? And it's like, because you were going to fucking kill his family, you dupis? She's so stupid. So stupid. I wish May, I wish that either of the female characters had gotten more to do. Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. Either of the female adult characters, I should say, because Sarah's really doing the best she gets. she's got. But his response is,

Yes, they just, like, what do these two even have in common besides a sexual attraction? Yes. Do they like each other? Do they talk? Were they talking on the road? Do they have similar, like, goals? When they were talking, they were only speaking in like nonsense, high coos to each other. Yes, about like space, the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they'll they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're to to to to to to to to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to th. the. the. the. they're they're the stars or like, you know, teenage shit. The night is so loud. Is it? It'll diffin' you. Really? It hasn't? And he's like, I don't know you want to play tonsillockey? Oh, no. Yeah, I like, so she comes and, you know, he's he's run away from her. He's escaped. He has escaped's like what's it gonna be madam I think he made that pretty clear when he escaped I literally ghosted you yeah literally you came and found him

so you don't want to hang out anymore yeah right it's actually kind of sad I wish there had been a scene after he had a transfusion of him eating the Zagnon Endor Clark bar and you're like hmm finally thank you that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. I I the. I the. I was the. I was th. I was th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I was th. thi. I'm thi. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's. I's. I's. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. he. I'm he. he. I he Zagnut Endor Clark bar, he's like, Mmm, finally, thank you. That's actually what I was thinking about when May gets turned back into a person at the end of the movie is like, she's not been able to eat people food for four years. What's the first thing you'd eat? Olive Garden? You, you, you, you, you, you. Oh, me? And when you said, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. When, th. When, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi? You don't want to go in too harsh? I'm not a fan of the Olive Garden.

Unpopular opinion. I like the Olive Garden. Do you? Yeah. Well, your family there. You invent diesel. Mala guinea. Uh, oh god, I don't know, probably just like pizza? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My first thought was like a cheese tray. I've been real into shrimp loomain. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm in th. I'm in th. I'm in th. I'm in th. I'm in th. I'm in thin thin' th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm a th. I'm a th. I'm a thin th. I'm a thin th. I'm not tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thought was like a cheese tray. I've been real into shrimp lo-main lately, maybe shrimp loomaine. Shrimps! Yeah, I'm fucking around with shrimps. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, once in a while. I love trips. Don't let the vegetarian community know.

You just did. Oh shit. Oh shit. If I'm not now, I never was. Really? Is that what you people think? Isn't that the straight-edge line? If you're not now, you never were?

Jesus! God, this is why no one wants to hang out! No fucking fun. Straight-edge cowboys, get in touch cowboys get in touch. What am I talking about? I don't know but I have a note that says fucking horses will abandon you in your time of need. Is this where he's riding the horse looking for May or for? No he's looking for Sarah. Right because he can't he can't find the car. Yes because the family steals Sarah while May and him are playing tonsil hockey. Yeah. And then he... He'd leave that baby alone. And he can't find the keys to the car. So he hops on a horse, rides into town, horse gets spooked by vampires, kicks him off, hence

your note. Runs the fuck away. Not just kicks him off, it's just like, I'm out. Yeah. Horses, not your friend. Turns out horses not stupid. Oh, no, I never thought that's why I'm afraid of them. That that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the horses the horse that's the horse is that's not the horse is not the horse is not stupid that's not stupid that's not stupid that's not stupid that's not stupid is not stupid the horse is not stupid that's not stupid that's not stupid that's not stupid that's not stupid that's not stupid that's not stupid that's not stupid that's not stupid that's not stupid that's not stupid that's not stupid that's not stupid that's not stupid that's not stupid that's not stupid that's not stupid that's not stupid that's not stupid that's not stupid that's not stupid that's not stupid that's not stupid that's not stupid that's not stupid that's not stupid that's not stupid that's not stupid that's not stupid is not stupid that's not stupid. that's not stupid. that's not stupid. that's not stupid. that's not stupid. that's not stupid. that's not stupid. that's not stupid. that's not stupid. that's not stupid is not stupid is not stupid. That's not stupid is not stupid. That's why I'm afraid of them is they're fucking smart. The horse was like, uh, doy, vampires. Gotta go, dumb, dumb. Why not take your friend, your person, with you? He just wants to make out with me, I gotta go. I'm gonna knock your tonsils out your asshole is a line that Bill Paxson presumably ad-lived in this movie. Cut, holy shit that was good at him. Really was. Caleb is really excited to run him over with a truck even though he must know it's not

going to kill him. But it does. But it doesn't. He pops back up and punches through the hood and pull out the wires, which I think is excellent. But then Caleb goes, hmm, and what did I they learn earlier? Okay, if you don't press that break, and you press this break, then your jackknife. And I was like, oh my god, the lesson came back. The tutorial.

It's Chekhov's tutorial. The thing is, he wasn't coming after them. He wasn't going to the cops. He just wanted to go back to his family. Yeah, because Homer was fixated on her. I guess. Yeah. It's like, this movie, it sort of flips your perspective a bit when after the scene in the bar where like obviously they've done a terrible thing but now you're guys on their side and you're kind of like, well, we're on your side then. For sure. And then when you step back and you're like, oh fuck, they actually just came to kidnap a child. Yeah. Yeah, for no reason.

Man, it's the thing of every time I see people who want to be vampires, I was like, you want to be the bad guy. Yeah. They're not the good guy in this situation. No. Has there ever been a good vampire? Well, the afore mentioned angel? Okay, he ran a detective agency where he helped people. That's nice. Yeah, mm-hmm. The count from Sesame Street. Oh sure, of course. Oh, of course. I know, was he a blood-based vampire or just there are other kinds of vampires?

Yeah, there's psychic vampires. Oh, right. As we learned in what we do in the shadows. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I bet he was like a juice vampire. Oh, like bonicula. Yeah, yeah, I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Oh, is th. Oh, is th. Oh, is thi. Is thi. Is thi. Is he was thee. Is he was theat thi. theat thi. thula. Yeah, yeah. All right fine. He kills a good vampire. Benicula is the best vampire. You gave it to Lucy when she was born. I did. You'll read this book in seven to eight years. Oh I'll start reading it to her soon I think. Read a chapter on night. Yeah. I still debate getting a Benicula tattoo. You should. I don't know why you're debating it. Also, I know people, some people don't like it when I talk about my family, but I'm doing it anyway, the day this episode comes out, my little baby will be four years old. Four years old. Four years old. Happy birthday, Lucy. She's the best. Late of my life. She's so sweet. Never go to sleep. Never go to sleep. Never go to to never go to never go to never go to never go to to to to never go to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to to to to to to the the the the the the their never go their never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never. I I I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th the. I the. I the. I the. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that a listener sent. Oh really? Saying, I'll never go to sleep. It's a pinky in the brain themed meme.

I like it a lot. Well, seeing her the other day and having her like run by me, and just like flash me a smile, and I was like, that's all I need. That's all I need. Yeah, she was not smiling at a lot of grown-upes. We have nothing in common. Just fun. So if you watched anything good lately or like, what are you reading? What are you listening to? Are you listening to any records? Oh yeah, the tangled soundtrack.

Mother knows best. No, that's frozen, you ding dong. Anyway. I love the thing where Diamond throws a knife and it sticks in Jesse's mouth. Yes, I wrote, I remember a time I accidentally threw a knife into Rob's mouth. But I love that she pulls it from like a holster behind her shoulders. I think that's so fucking cool. Yeah, and he just pulls it out like, come on, you miss. Come on.

Also, at this point, Caleb has recovered Sarah and is running while carrying her like bride-style? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which like, can she not run? I bet that little kids pretty quick. It's true, but she was probably like, I don't want to want to want to tell you. And then he's going to do the same thing with May when he recovers her. I don't like, the fuck. Why don't people in movies ever piggyback their children when they're running? Just you know that baby.

I'm gonna be like, put the fuck on there. That's what God gave you a back. Also, they had the entire drive from the town area out to the farm to black out the windows, because the sun is coming up. They're like, oh shit. The sun is a sneaky bastard in this movie. Because they're just like, oh my god, it's night. Oh my god, it's sometime. It is insane how little these people care about the sun until it's the last possible second. For sure.

And then they all decide they want to die. Yeah. It's time to die. It was time to die. May, like, jumps out of the vehicle with Sarah, just lands right on top of her. I was very upset by that. That man holding a doll that tumbled into the street is so cool. It's so good. It's really funny. Right on top of her. Sarah is dead, by the way, at this point.

The baby dolls bounces off the way at this point. The baby doll's head bounces off the street so many times. So she and Sarah running away and she's starting to smoke. Yeah. And Homer just bursts into flames because he's running after yeah May or Sarah? He's running after Sarah. Okay I think he's just running towards death. You think so? I think he's he's accepted his life is pain. Got it. And he has to go. Fair. Lance Henrickson, you see his nails for the first time and they're all gnawine. I feel like that's something as a vampire you can control. Do vampires have to trim their nails? No, they always have long nails. They always like creepy dudes. Why? Because they're creepy dudes. You're like creepy dudes. They're like they're like, you're a creepy dude? Yeah, you're a creepy dude. Yeah. Guys, trim your nails. It's so easy to do. Uh, straight-edge vampire cowboys, trim your nails.

Trim you nails! Uh, the car explodes because they caught on fire and I guess they're made of dynamite. Why would the car explode? Oh, the 1980s cars just explode. I love that. Ford, we build 90% dynamite cars. Don't hit anything and don't blow up inside. Otherwise you're fine. And then Caleb Cures May? Like what's she gonna do now? Get a job? Work on the farm? She probably still has a family. It's only been four years. Her family probably really misses her. Yeah, yeah, there's the freeze frame where he's hugging her like, oh, I made you better. And she's kind of staring at her hands like, did you? Yeah, I will thought, did she want to not be immortal? She had an appointment to wait around a billion years to see the light from? Yeah....... And, their, their, their, their, their, th, th. And, th, th, th, th, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, their, their, their, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, their thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, their th. Yeah, their f. Yeah, their f. Yeah, their f. Yeah from that star. It's the first thing we learn about her. Katie.

Alan. You want to rape this fucker? Yeah. I love this movie. It is an absolute delight from start to finish. For sure. It is just, it's so pretty to look at. It's so the characters are so enthralling.

There's like weird stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff that that that that that that that like weird stuff it does to your perspective of who's the bad guy. Am I the bad guy? Am I the bad guy? They're also beautiful except for Lance Hendrickson and Bill Paxton. Beautiful in their own way. I am gonna give this movie an eight and a half. I love this. Yeah. I love it. I love this movie. I love this movie. Yeah. I love this movie. Yeah. I love it. I love. I love. I love. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. thro. thro. thr thro that. the. that. that. the. thro the. the. the. the. Yeah, I love this movie. Yeah, it doesn't. Probably some people. I'm gonna give it a fucking 10. I think this movie is perfect. Great. Yeah, I think it's a goddam delight. Yeah, it is a goddamn delight. I love like the Horst or Homer stuff in it, not horse. Homer. Sorry, uh, old name, old person. Ezekiel. No. Does the mean a Diamondback named him, Homer? I don't know. Because if she named herself Diamondback and her kid, Homer, that's mean. Maybe Diamondback, it's a family name. Maybe. Please, I was named after my aunt Diamondback. A strong woman, a quick woman. A deadly woman. Uh, I want to give a shout out to Nick Kaminsky and Alex Van Luvie, who recently left us reviews and they both said nice things about my giggling and it made me very happy to see this.

People love your giggling. It's the bad ones that don't. Why would you listen to this if you didn't? Yeah, I mean you can have to check out at some point. Nick's review is great. It says, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, it, it, it's, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, to, to, uh, to, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to, to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to the the listen to this if you didn't? Yeah, I mean you're going to have to check out at some point. Nick's review is great. It says, hashtag, my favorite husband doesn't like scary movies? I don't know who my favorite husband is, but why don't you like scary movies? I think, is it a reference to my favorite murder? Oh, I don't know. I don't know. Because as you know we've beef with them. As I need to remind you, Alan, we have beef with them.

We have a very low-grade beef with them. They have no idea we exist. Hi, Nick Kaminsky, how are you? His review is very good and it said, let's get one thing straight about the show. The only thing more pure than a baby's laughter is when Alan gets a case of the giggles. Anyone who argues against this needs this this -star review and go pet a horse for all I care. I love that. I love that. Thank you, Nick Kaminsky.

And thank you for pulling our rating back up. Go pet a horse. Go pet a horse. Oh wow, we're now an hour, look at us. All right. What do we do next week, Katie? Let's do a movie that people have been talking to to to to to to to th. to th. th. to th. to to th. to th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th.. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to, toea, toea, thea, thea, thea, thea, thi, thi, thi, a movie that people have been talking about on Netflix, because that always works out so well whenever I suggest it. Let's do Fear Street, 1994. Mm-hmm. The R-Hrown. You have a personal connection to this, don't you?

What, just by virtue of being alive? Well, and having read the Fierrestreet books when your child. It's not really that personal connection. It's to to to to to thiiiiiiiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho tho tho thi. thi. thi. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thee thea. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Let's the. It's not really that personal for me, I have to say. It's an impersonal connection. It's an impersonal connection. I was like, oh, do I have a friend who worked on it? I don't think so. Am I friend with fear or street? Or in 1994. I am friends with the 1994. God, the soundtrack in that movie. We'll talk about it next week. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Find us on the internet. T-Ti. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I th. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. to th. to to to to to th. to to to to thi. to th. th. thi. to. I th. I th. I thshirts, T-Public.com. Yeah. Patreon, if you're so inclined. T-Trion.com, back-sash, oral famule. Sorry that the mail has been a dick.

Stuff has been going out in the mail and taking fucking forever to get to pay. I apologize for that. We can't help it. The U.Sthe Postal Service to be like, well what if I'm worse than you? It's nice to know there's always someone worse than you, right? It's true. It's true. Not the worst. And thanks for listening the today, the today's at the pool. Maybe I've seen it in pools, so many times are inside the pool. No way to do it, Finland's to fulfill reviews. Get the clouds and laugh ofing clouds and land the face.

Can him in outer space? Appearance I'm a basket case. Please make I continue the grave. E&T. All-Rodd Comedy reviews hungry, Brian, from wings and Stephen Kang. E-T. We live deliciously, temperatures, obesely gone to date

a paranormal act in tidies from Mr. Rogers to say E-M-D, E-M-D.