Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 360- Christmas Evil (1980)

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi Alan. Hello Katie. Could I get a little breaking news update? But can you make it festive? Can we put a little sleigh bell behind it? Yeah, oh for sure, for sure. Okay. All right. Do, to, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to. to. to. to. to. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, t. t. t. t. t. t. t. tod. tod. tod. tod. tod. tod. tod. t. tod. tod. tod. tod. t. t. tod. t. t. t. Do, to, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, update. Savini watched 2K21. Love it. I saw him about three hours ago. Oh, okay. He was hanging up his Christmas lights. today's standing on a little stepsy stool on his stoop, which I wasn't really. A little dangerous for a 75-year-old man, but the house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house house, but thoah house, but thoom a 75 year old man, but the house looks great.

Starting point is 00:00:45 Good. Yeah. I still haven't done my house decoration yet. Christmas decorations outside, aren't there? Or they just up all year round. They're just up all year round. Well, it looks festive. Your block is not terribly festive.

Starting point is 00:00:56 No, not terribly. No. No. H. Ha. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th............................................................................................................................. Happy Savini Watch. Happy Savini Watch, truly. Glad to see this well. Just had his birthday, posing shirtless. Against a black background, very strange. Best neighbor. Katie. What are we, what are we talking about this week? A Christmas movie. I have to say.

Starting point is 00:01:20 Our Christmas movies are almost always bullshit. Oh yeah. Yeah. I mean, Black Sunday is great. Black Sunday, Black Sunday, Black Christmas. Sure. Black Sunday is also great. Black Sunday is also great.

Starting point is 00:01:31 Record and movie. Like the Cypress movie with the Tony Colette was the worst. The remake of Black Christmas was fine. It was fine, yeah. But other than that, oh, rare experts is good, I guess. Yeah, that crampest movie with Tony Colette wasn't the worst. I remember nothing about it. Yeah, not very memorable, but not the worst. Yeah. Solid Night, Deadly Night.

Starting point is 00:01:54 Real shit show. This felt very much like that movie. Yeah, I mean, they're of an ilk, yeah. We're ta. Yeah. Yeah, their their their their their their they're of they're of their their their they're of their they're of their their over their over their over their over their over-in, thi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. their their their their th. their th. th. their they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their the 1980 film, Christmas Evil. Uh, formerly known as, you better watch out. Oh, I like that better. Yeah, much better. Yeah, yeah. The studio changed the name without the director, writer's okay on that. Oh, cool.

Starting point is 00:02:15 Well, it certainly didn't aid the film in any way. This is one of John Walter's favorite movies to watch a Christmas time. Holy shit. John Waters. And why? Does he just have hours to spare? I think it's just because it's like, you know, just a wonderfully miserable film.

Starting point is 00:02:35 So miserable. Can I drop some facts on your head about this movie? Alan Fax? I didn't know. I did a monocle of research about this movie. Oh. I like when you make the facts. Well, there might be some made-up facts in here as well. Did you know that all the snow that's in this movie is just cut up plastic bags blown through a fan? No, that's a bummer. It's so true. You're on like a waterway. Oh, what happened in New York City? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, they. Oh, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. thi. thi. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, their that, their the animals died. Yeah. Oh, fucking hell. That is also miserable. Miserable.

Starting point is 00:03:10 Director Lewis Jackson came up with a basic idea for this film. I love this. After smoking marijuana one night, during the 1970s and seeing a vision of Santa Claus holding a knife. What? That's not what marijuana do. I have never had a vision while smoking marijuana? Sir? Sir? Sir? Smoking marijuana cigarettes.

Starting point is 00:03:32 He had some jazz cabbage and it made him see his Santa Claus with a knife. Did you know? No. That the star of this film, Brandon Maggart, is the father of a famous pop singer. Who? Brittany Magart. I'll give you some hands. Christina Aguilar Gart. I think so pop singers, Lord Magart.

Starting point is 00:03:58 Her stage name does not share the same last name. Adel Magart. Am I doing this right? Yes, you're finding Bobstars, notoriously who have one name. And giving them to them. And also are not Americans. Is Lord American? No, probably not.

Starting point is 00:04:15 I think she's Australian? Yeah, probably. New Zealand, maybe. Yeah. I remember seeing her interviewed and going, she seems too smart to be married to Elon Musk, not the same person, different human being. Grimes Maggart. Grimes Magart? Yeah. Let's see, here's some hints.

Starting point is 00:04:29 Like's really long album titles. Fiona Apple. You got it. No shit. Yeah, it's Beanna Apple's Todd. Wow. Yeah, yeah, weird, right. It's just weird. It's a weird. It's weird. It's weird. It's weird. It's weird. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's weird. It's weird. It's weird. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. th. thi. th. thi. thi. th. thi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a very weird thing. How about that? This is also the film debut of Patricia Richardson,

Starting point is 00:04:49 aka the mom from Tim the Tool Time Taylor show. Wait, was she Jackie? Uh, no, she is Moss Garcia's mom, Mrs. Garcia. The one who slapped that that's the fucking face? Oh, I totally miss that. And then puts him in the front seat, and you th, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, I, I, I, I, I th, I, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I tho, I th, I don't, I'm, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theea. thi. thea. thi. thea. thea. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. slapped that to out of the face. Oh I totally miss that. And then puts him in the front seat and you're like, I don't know which is worse. That's the 70s, baby. I were in the front seat a lot. Oh yeah. And keep mind, I ended the 70s at age six. Ea. Eesh. Oh, man. We used to ride in the back of my dad's work van. the thanks. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the th. the the the the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. the. the. the. the. the. theateate. theeate. the. theeean. theeeate. the. theeee. the. the. the the.'s work van. There were no seats. My sister and I just sitting on the floor of work van. Bouncing around. Bouncing around. Those are my really good important facts, my one fake fact, this film is really

Starting point is 00:05:34 uplifting. Oh God. Well I actually thought it was going to be because it opens on like a exterior of a house and it pans up to reveal a gigantic full moon and I actually lulled and I thought oh this is gonna be silly that's it. Twas the night before Christmas is being recited. Yep. There's a delightful bucolic family scene of dad Santa coming down the chimney. Didn't recall that you're supposed to leave soap for Santa? There was a washing station for Santa, I was so happy. Santa just washing his junk in a bowl in your living room, like, why? He's not homeless.

Starting point is 00:06:08 Well, he's gonna need to watch that junk for later times. I guess. But he's also, it's something, oh God. He's like drinking milk out of a cup with a fake mustache. Oh, it's this, oh, it's repulsive. It's just like dripping all over the place. He's eating bread and honey I think? I think? And the honey just like sticks to his fake must. It's just disgusting, especially when you consider what happens next. So then little Philly and little Harry go to bed. I wrote here this child is named after America's worst city. Sorry Philadelphia, Philadelphia

Starting point is 00:06:42 Friends. It's not the worst city, it's just the meanest. I don't share that feeling that she does. We're going to get into that. The Philly talks soon. Are we? Oh, yes, we are. That's on our Patreon. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 00:07:03 So Phil and Harry go to bed. And then Harry gets up angry for some reason it goes downstairs. These actions are inexplicable. Inexplicable. Okay. So the, and Harry sees, oh we see Santa Claus pop back up the chimney as well. Yeah, it's magical. He's magical. It's magical. Okay. Oh, that's what, that's why he's angry because thi Harry are having, th, th, th, th, th, th, and th, th, th, and th, th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and thi thi thi thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and th, and th, and thi thi, and thi, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and thi, and thi, and th, and th, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi thi thi thi thi gets gets th, and th, and thi thi gets gets gets gets gets thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thiiii thii thi thi thii thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th chimney as well after twinkling his nose. He's magical. It's magical dad.

Starting point is 00:07:26 Oh, that's where, that's why he's angry, because Phil and Harry are having a fight about whether or not Santa Claus is real. Oh, okay. And, uh, feels like, that was dad, you'd dickhead. And Harry's like, no. So when he pops back up the look on the woman's face was, but I thought it should be horror when he was back in the living room. It was sheer excitement.

Starting point is 00:07:48 I have to tell you that I spent a lot of the, I thought I had seen this movie. I was convinced that I had seen this movie. I assumed that seen this movie. It's like in your wheelhouse. It's 100% of my wilhous. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It's, I. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's to to to to to to to th. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to toldld. I have to to to to to to to told told told told told told told told told told to to to to to to to to to to told. I have told. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I. I have. I have. I. I have. I have. I have to to to to to to th. I th. I th. I have thi. I have the. I have tell. I have to tell. I have tell. I have tell, I have to to to to to to to told to to to told to to to told my very dark times, so I may have seen this movie, but not taking this movie in. Yeah. Because I definitely remember the end scene, but I may have seen that in something else. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:08:11 But I'm like, as soon as Santa and mom are giggling downstares, I was like, please don't be a sexual assault movie. Oh, yeah. But really, it's just like a cute fetish thing. Because in that silent night, deadly night, doesn't he see his mom get raped by Santa Claus? And that's what sends him over the, yeah. I think so. Yeah, punish. Punish, yeah.

Starting point is 00:08:31 This is just a nice, albeit incredibly awkward moment between a husband and wife. All right, I'm going to need you to, uh, hey, it's me, what's my name again, Louis Jackson. I'm the director of this here film. And so you guys are going to look sexy. So lady, thrust your pubis towards the man. And what will he be doing? Well, he's going to be caressing below your ass cheek with his nose pressed up against your hip. For how long? Well, 10 to 15 years? It's just such an awkward thing to be just standing there. Like, if that's your husband, like, why are you, you know, like, it's just, I, if the whole thing. It's like, they were background characters and like a fighting video game that would just

Starting point is 00:09:19 be doing the same actions over and over, but their action is lightly caressing back of leg, maybe sniffing hip. And then like putting head back, ha ha ha. Head back forward, then back again, ha ha ha. Hips thrust forward? Ha ha ha. No, it's very good. It's a great film. So the kid suddenly turns and runs up the stairs, no one notices.

Starting point is 00:09:41 They are eight feet away. But when you're in hip thrust thrust thrust thrust thrust thrust thrust thrust thrust thrust thrust thrust thrust thrust thrust thrust thrust thrust thrust Yeah, but when you're in hip thrust aha mode, there's nothing that's gonna tear you away from that. And the sound is this sort of like high-pitched, squealing danger score, I would say, and then as soon as he goes into the attic and turns on the light, the sound stops. And it's meant to be dramatic, I think? Sure. Oh, it's not. Because then he smashes a snow globe and cuts himself with it. Just like smashing your snow globe, why? Because Santa's a dirty old man or because Santa doesn't exist?

Starting point is 00:10:13 Yes. That's my real question is like, what is motivating? throw up Harry over the edge. The presupposition of this film is that there is an inciting incident on this Christmas night in 1945. Exactly. Or 47 or whatever it is. And it also presupposes that Harry would never have his life have heard the song I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus. Right. Because then he would know that this is the kind of thing that happens. I saw Santa caressing mommy's butt cheek, but not quite. But not that badly. I mean, film 1980 that was definitely shown in grindhouses, this could have been way worse. Way worse.

Starting point is 00:10:52 There's like a little bit of like sound that implicates Santa in what he might be doing. But it's certainly not anything visual. No, it's just an oral, uh, rather than a visual, ugh. So he smashes the snow globe and then cuts his hand with it. Right. Why? Okay.

Starting point is 00:11:14 And then we get the, you better watch out, title card. Yeah. And now we're in the present, 1980. And he's sleeping in Christmas. Yeah, he sleeps in Santa Claus B. Jays. Like we all do this time of year. Well it says the sign on his wall says 55 days still Christmas. Uh-huh. Yeah, this time of year we all get prepped early. We're currently, uh, Katie and I were just

Starting point is 00:11:35 discussing how it doesn't feel like Christmas. And it's currently almost 70 degrees outside on December 16th. I'm wearing a hoodie. I'm just wearing a shorts and a t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. tf. tf. thea. they. they. tf. they. Yeah, they. Yeah, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the sign. the sign. the sign. the sign. the sign. the sign. the sign. the sign. the sign. th. th. th. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. wearing shorts and a t-shirt. Yeah and your house flip-flops. Yeah, my house flip-flops. Yeah, floppies. I didn't even put my slippers on. You don't need them. Your feet will burn off. Oh boy. He gets up and does some Christmas calisthenics. He's very flexible. I was like, oh damn. He gets up and does some Christmas calistines. He he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he's he's he's he's he's he's he. he's he. He's he's he's he's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's to to to to to to to. He's he's he's was like, oh damn. You go out of bed and touching your toes that fast. Pop-a-apple. Yeah. Papa-apple. And then he starts spying on the neighborhood kids. I just have a lot of notes to say, peeping, he peeping on children. It's a good reminder to keep my kids blinds closed.

Starting point is 00:12:18 Good grief. I also was like, oh, this is a this is a this is a caution, this is a caution, th is a caution, thi is a caution, tales about parents never being intimate once their kids are sentient. Right? It's every time a parent like goes to fuck it's not good. Right you've ruined the child for life. Yeah. He also cuts himself shaving and has a flashback to the globe. Yes but we don't know why again. Uh-huh. Or still. So he's judging the neighborhood kids based on naughty or nice. Right. He has the you're going. You the you the you the you the you the you the you the you the you're going the you're going the you're going. You're going. You're going. You're going. You're going. You're going. You're going. You're going the you're going the you're going to to to to to to to to to to to the you're going to to to to to to to to to to to to their. the the the the the their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. thi. thi. the, you're gonna go to jail books when the cops bust in and find these books where you just have children's names and everything they've been doing during the day. And one of them, the little girl just is like, oh, just a baby darling or something. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:12:57 Yeah. Is that Sally who just looks so beautiful? She loves it stands up in curtsies. Like the idea that children would react positively to this man is insane. You're in prime stranger danger land. Oh my gosh, yes. And he's clearly like children know a creep. Yeah, for sure. For sure.

Starting point is 00:13:15 The one child is just cutting stuff out of penthouse, which I loved. Apparently in my research, I know I'm not supposed to, but I was reading to get some facts, and the child took the penthouse home with him. No! And mom was not happy. Yeah, Moss Garcia. I love Morse Garcia. Moss Garcia is the star of this film.

Starting point is 00:13:37 Also, what kind of name is Moss Garcia? It's a great name. You should name your next dog, Moss Garcia. The only other Moss I know is Moss from the IT crowd. I went to college with a Moss. That's a good name. A brother named, I'm gonna say River. No. Oh, so it wasn't like Moss.

Starting point is 00:13:55 It wasn't like an Amos. He had like a really common last name too, it was like Moss Johnson or something like that. Moss Garcia. You went to is like Moss Johnson or something like that. Moss Garcia. You went to school with Moss Garcia? Yeah. He was, he's naughty. He's on the naughty list. He has negative body hygiene. I don't even know. I don't know what that is, but I'm sure that I had it at that age. Yeah, I might have it now.

Starting point is 00:14:21 Oh my God. I've just loved that Moss is like intricately cutting out these penthouse center folds. It's so funny. It matters to him. You gotta get all the background out. It takes away from the gne. Oh God, Moss, no. And Penhouse, that's like, that's the deep end of the porn pool too for a little kid. Dirty stuff? Yeah, if I remember that, I believe they have penny in, uh, penetration.

Starting point is 00:14:49 Oh, wow, I don't know your slang. I was gonna say full penny, but, uh, I feel awkward now. Noddy! Anyway, this guy's a toy maker. Yeah, oh my god. He guy's a toy maker. Yeah, it works a jolly dream. Oh my God. He has stopped going to union meetings. We're not told why and we are unable to infer it. I figured it out.

Starting point is 00:15:13 Oh, it's because he's become a man. He's become management now, so he's not in the union. Oh, yeah, that does make sense. and his bees about not being in the union. Got it, got it. Do you like how I edited out balls? I self-edited out balls after I just said full penetration just like a minute ago? Yeah, I like how you're just keeping it clean. Yeah. But truly, who would promote this sociopath? He should not manage people.

Starting point is 00:15:35 No, no. He just seemed to be like a numbers cruncher kind of guy. Yeah, yeah, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, a. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He gets tricked into doing Frank's job, so Frank can go drinking down at the odd couple lounge. I love that, first of all. And I also love the song that's playing. Did you get any of the lyrics? No, I didn't notice the lyrics. Please. Daddy's drinking up our Christmas. Oh, I did! Yes. Gonna be some hard times this year. No tree or stockings or presents, just bottles of Christmas cheer. My dudes! I love miserable Christmas songs. Oh God at the eye couple lounge is just like, just like courier font with martinis around the light upside.

Starting point is 00:16:30 I was really into it. I love that like 70s, 80s vibe of like we've got martinis here. Yeah. But it's totally a dive bar. Like, no one is making a martini in this place. A dirty martini will just be that the glass is indeed dirty. So Harry's loves peeping. So he's the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th is th is th is th is th is thing in thing in thing in the th. thing in the th. the th. thi thi thi thi th. th. thi thi th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. C. C. I c. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. th. C. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. A th. A th. A the thiii. A thii. A thia. I'aug-a. I'er. I'm cu. I'm cu-Iaug-I. I'er. I'er. I'a. I thia. C. C indeed dirty. Very, very dirty. So Harry loves peeping. So he's peeping. He loves to peep.

Starting point is 00:16:48 And peeping into the bar, the odd couple lounge. And Frank's in there, he's like, eh, I was supposed to work tonight, but I got that schmuck Harry to work for me.s that happen in life. This is followed by an extremely upsetting scene. Where he's popping the head off the doll? Yeah, where he's sitting in his room, humming with increasing intensity and squeezing a little doll. Oh yeah, he's humming Santa Claus is coming to tell. But it ends up being like, uh, like he's, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, th. And I, th. And I, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, th. This is, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. This, th. This, th. This, th. This is is, th. This, th. This is, th. This is, th. This is, th. This is, th. th. th. thi, thi, thi isn't, thi isn't, thi isn't, thi isn't, thi isn't, thi isn't, thi. This is just it ends up being like, uh-huh, like he's, and I'm just like, oh, I don't

Starting point is 00:17:28 like this anymore, I don't want to be watching, this is upsetting. I think his performance in this film is great, but I never want to see it again. It's really great. It like, I felt like the acting in this film from almost, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I, I, I, I the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. thi, I thi, like, I th. th. thi is like way better than it should be. Way better than it has any right to be. And it was giving me basket case vibes for that because I was like, I'm on board with all of these people. I know. I believe you are who you're telling me you are. He's really fitting the bill.

Starting point is 00:17:57 Same thing with his brother Phil is great. Phil is weird. Phil is unnerving looking. Phil for Walking Dead fans. He's the guy who drives the mobile home in the first series. I'm sure he's in there later but that's the guy who plays Phil the brother in this. Glad Phil's still working. Yeah. Where the fuck do I know that dude from? Yeah, where the fuck do I know that dude from later for me in this movie too? Oh yeah, yeah, there's a couple of them for sure. Uh, his wife is way too pretty for him.

Starting point is 00:18:31 Jackie? Jackie? Yeah, Jackie's lovely. Feelea's definitely like, that's not a phrase, but he's doing it. Batin out of his league, as they say, as they they they say, as they say, as they say, as they say, as they say, as they're, as they're, as they're, as th, as th, as th, as th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the. the. That's closer. It's a very bold move that she's like, kids go to bed and then immediately jumps her husband's bones on the couch. I was like, fuck, your kids just go to bed? But I also like, like, it's the converse of earlier. Now we're seeing like a very healthy, vibrant sexual relationship between mom and dad.

Starting point is 00:19:03 Why do you think it wasn't healthy and vibrant between mom and the dog? Well, no, no, I'm just saying, like we're seeing it, but it doesn't have, I'm sorry, I didn't finish my thought, it doesn't have negative ramifications. Or does it? Because he's watching this. And it seems like it pushes him further over the edge. Sure, I mean, yes, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, like, like, like, like, like, like, I, I, I, I, I, like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. for the children. Oh, for the children, yeah, yeah. It's, yeah. I think Harry is too far gone at this point.

Starting point is 00:19:28 There's no bringing Harry back. Everything's gonna upset Harry from here on out. It's just like what, it had been many years between the. Yeah, like 33 years. So what, why now? Just because this guy got you to work for it? Yeah, and then, you know, the Macy's Day Parade. It was happening what? What was wrong with that?

Starting point is 00:19:47 I don't know, but I like that the hamburger emperor, all-American band was one of the featured acts in the Macy's Day parade? I've never watched that, but that's pretty dope. It was like, when did they retire that? Underdog, I forgot about underdog. He's been erased from history, he's been canceled. Seriously, do you guys remember underdog?

Starting point is 00:20:18 Let us know. No, we're 20. No, they're not. No, they're not. Don't you remember some people have written in and been like you were, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, during, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their their tho. And, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. Sir, no, they're not. Don't you remember some people have written in it and been like, you were there during all of my college career. Oh, that's true, yeah. Because our high school, our, our, her podcast is like graduating med school these days.

Starting point is 00:20:37 Oh, I can't wait to like, the doctor gets in toubled me. Like you're a through med school. What? I don't trust you to operate on me, whether you're a surgeon or not. I packed some pony puffers in him after I sewed him up. Speaking of T-Public.com, back-sozer back-slasworea-ambulance, just please look at the general scostospital shirt that is being sold on there. You don't have to buy it. I don't want even even even even even even even even even you you to you to to to to to the to the to the to the to the to the the to to the to the to want you to look at it. Get yourself a sticker. I hope each and every one of you has the joy of having an amazing friend in your life that can spin your stupidity into gold? Yes, into like just such a dick something so stupid

Starting point is 00:21:18 that you've said and make it like an absolute delight. Something of value. Dare I say it, art. Art. He turned it into art. Art. It's fine art. Dare I say it, it's high art. Dare I say it? Move over, Monet.

Starting point is 00:21:36 Shit looks bad up close. General Scospital is here. The more you look at General Scospital, the better it gets. Therefore, this is better than a Monet. There's. A. A. A th I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a the absolute. It's a the absolute. It's a the absolute. the absolute. the absolute. the absolute. the absolute. the absolute. the absolute. Art. the absolute. Art. Art. Art. Art. Art. Art. Art. Art. Art. Art. Art. Art. Art. Art. Art. Art. Art. Art. Art. Art. Art. Art. Art. Art. Art. Art. Art. Art. Art. Art. Art. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It's. It. It. It's. It's. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. you look at General's Hospital the better it gets, therefore this is better than a Monet. There's tutsi rolls, there's panics, fresh orange chicken. There's the, a smitherton has people hands and horse legs. I think when I am buried and there is, or when I'm dead and gone and there is a obituary, inventor of the Smithertins will be on there. Oh, I want to shout out a listener who also did their own rendition of the General Scottspital shirt. I don't know if you saw this. I did not, hold on. It's a Smytherton Scott dancing next to a thing of Orange Chicken for Bedto Express.

Starting point is 00:22:23 Smoking a pony puffer. This is amazing. It's really beautiful. General Ska Hospital. I love the SCA checkerboard background and SCA font. Yeah, that's very nice. Thank you. Lultema, coca, and no juicer too. Oh my gosh, that's a lot of letters.

Starting point is 00:22:40 Laltoma, coca and El Juicesitu, too. Am I missing something here? I don't know. Is it something backwards? Autorice, no, I don't think so. La Outema, Coca-Bla. Thank you so much for that. Let me give it a try.

Starting point is 00:23:00 Mm-hmm. You think you've got ittill you really start looking at it. Yeah, because you got a La Ultima, Coca, and the Deserto. That was really good. Thank you. Well, I was trying to say it super fast like a good Italian. I was trying to say it real slow like a dingus.

Starting point is 00:23:19 Thank you so much for that. I love you guys. Yeah, yeah. I really do. This is, oh, we're so lucky. God, so lucky. So we had two people who spun our ridiculous into gold. That's wonderful. We don't deserve any of you. That's not true.

Starting point is 00:23:35 We deserve all of you. Not all of you, actually. Some of you, I don't feel I deserve. There are three. do not deserve, you figure out who you are. You probably don't know who you are, that's the problem. Oh, that's awful, I'm just joking. Anyway, this married couple of two children cannot get enough of fucking each other. Oh my God, so much of fucking each other. Just love to fuck. Talking about buying their kid a typewriter and a calculator? Like, Coul Christmas. C Christmas. Christmas 1980. thinks.omics coming in, you're going to need that editing machine. It's true. So we cut to Harry is not going to go to Thanksgiving. He's staying home, as I put

Starting point is 00:24:14 it, to try on his Santa hair. Yeah, who boy. And to make his costume, he's sewing his costume. He's very good at sewing by the way. Yeah, this costume looks great. I love the fur trim. It looks wonderful. He also sm sm sm sm sm sm sm sm sm sm sm sm sm sm sm. He to to to to to to to th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He's to th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's t. He's t. He's t. He's t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t.. Yeah, this costume looks great. I love the fur trim. Yeah, it looks wonderful. He also smelt a toy soldier later and I was like, dude, you were crafty as fuck. So skilled. But then when he has that fur, I assumed it was like his mother's fur coat or something, because he holds it to his face and just... Oh, when he buries his face in it, he's the face his face his face his face his face his face his face his face his face his face the face the face the face try to fuck my fur blanket. You even live till you've seen Glenn try to fuck a fur blanket. It's horrible. I used to try to nurse on fur blankets. Yeah. That's very sweet. Trying to put your like cat dick into it while I'm just trying to watch acorn. I'm under here, Glenn! You're disturbing Shetland! I haven't even started the new season yet.

Starting point is 00:25:07 I think this week is the last episode. Okay, so I can start. Yeah, yeah, I need to be able to do it. Mm-hmm. What's that? Is it so good? Yeah. I know that some people like told you about that. It's like PBS Premium. I tried to start it. It's also on one of the other ones,

Starting point is 00:25:26 either a corner or a breadbox too. I have got them both. Yeah, I know. Yeah, it's really good. It's not fun. It's good though. Anyway, back to this. So yeah, he's trying on on on on on on on on on hea. He's to to to to to he's trying. to to to to to the sa. to the same. to to to to their. to to their. to to to. to. to. to. their. to be. to be. to. the to be. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. try. try. try. try. I. I. I. I. I. Store windows, is that still a thing anywhere, do you think? No, I'm gonna go, no.

Starting point is 00:25:48 Okay, I figured probably like the Barney's store window is probably still a thing in New York City. Yeah. But there used to be the Macy's downtown, right? In Pittsburgh, that was a big one. It turned into, I thindos, I th. target. Uh-huh, that sounds right. That sounds about right. That's where we are as Pittsburgh's right now. We're super into targets. We're like put them on every corner. Condos, Target, or a Google. A Google something. Yes. Or a self-driving car. And you're like,

Starting point is 00:26:14 there is no speed limit on Piccolo Boulevard. Just go. Everyone else is going! It makes me insane. You cannot go 35 on that road. But just I remember store windows being such a big deal. Oh really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Huh. Even when I lived in Philly we used to go and they would do pipe work and music in the, oh man, I want to say pennies but I think that's wrong. One of the gimbles. Probably the Gimbles, the Montgomery Ward perhaps. The Wolse. The James Way, if. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, th, the, th, th, th, th, the, the, th, th, the the th, the th, I, I, I, I the stores. The Gimbles. Probably the Gimbles, the Montgomery Ward perhaps. The Woolsworths. The James Way, if you will.

Starting point is 00:26:51 But yeah, there you see, like Christmas was just a big deal at stores. They did whatever they could to get you in there. You just buy it from Jeff Bezos on the internet. Oh, man. Maybe our society is crumbling. Maybe we do need to make a... Never mind. Make a perfect great again. The thing is it never was.

Starting point is 00:27:10 That's the one. Yeah. He's also in his, you know, for his Etsy profile or his Instagram, he is painting a sleigh on the side of his van that looks very nice. It's actually very cool. Yeah, on his white windowless van, this man who peeps in the windows of children. This man who drives it for no reason.

Starting point is 00:27:30 It's not like he's an electrician. No. No. He's just going to have many cars, too. He also has a pickup truck. Desi. Then he drives around, yeah. So Jolly Dream must be paying alright in 1980. I guess he probably doesn't have a lot of expenses, although he does have a lot of Christmas memorabilia, so hopefully he's buying it like the day after Christmas.

Starting point is 00:27:49 For sure. For sure. It goes on sale. Like there's just horrifying stuff in his home. Like a, like, there's this at one point a Santa, like a Santa, that's like a Santa that's checking its list and has like furrowed brown. It's menacing! Yes, I hate it. Just jolly fat man, that's all we want from you, Santa, we don't want an angry dad, we don't need that from you. Don't need drunk, old man. I'm drunk Santa Claus. Peing at you, what are you doing?

Starting point is 00:28:25 So now he's going around night peeping. Night peeping, which I think is much worse. And he's peeping in on Moss Garcia, who's assassined his mom. Yeah. He doesn't want to go to Mahjong. Who does? I don't know. Mosquea's mom plays Majong.

Starting point is 00:28:41 So he puts mud all over his hands and face and kisses the house? And why? And why? And why? I was hoping you could tell me? I have no idea. It's like the mark of the bad kid, I guess. It's so fucked up.

Starting point is 00:29:00 Oh my god. And Moss Garcia sees him hiding in the bushes. Oh God. And Moss Garcia sees him hiding in the bushes. Yeah. What was he going to do? I don't know. Oh God. And Moss Garcia sees him hiding in the bushes. Yeah. And he walks over to see what he's doing. And he punches at the kid, not hitting him mind. You're just at him.

Starting point is 00:29:15 Just add him in his general direction. Which is scary for a man covered in mudman. outside, kissing your house. Very weird. Oh my god. I get upset when the Verizon guy comes to the door and is like, you want Fios? Do I have Fios? Then no I do not, please walk away, sir. Get the fuck out! How dare you do your job? You're advertising on my solitaire game all the time anyway. Oh, geez. Oh, geez. Oh, oh no. Um, like, Moss, get your ass over here and haws off and slaps that kid across the fucking face. Hard. And I think for real. Yeah, hard.

Starting point is 00:29:58 Wow. Home Improvement, Mom? Yeah. Wow. Oh, boy. Is this after, oh this is after he's asked the kids what they went for Christmas and Moss Garcia's response is a lifetime subscription to Penhouse. Moss, you're great. Oh man, Moss is going to be the kid you can bum smokes off of.

Starting point is 00:30:23 He's going to rule. So now we're at like a, Chris, the pacing of the kid you can bum smokes off of. He's gonna rule. So now we're at like a, the pacing of this film is bat shit. Like there are all of these scenes in which nothing happens and nothing happens for long times. Then we are jumping all over, all over New York City. All over the place. So now he's at like his work Christmas party. Oh my god. And there is a song playing that goes

Starting point is 00:30:46 Santa Claus, please please don't make me suffer so. And I just thought this movie has a lot of problems. It's very tonally on point. Sure. Listen, I don't know if you've ever smoked marijuana before. I mean not in the last hour. No, no, no, no, no. No. What's marijuana? Marijuana is a psychotropic drug. You might remember, but a d'ump, doo-doo, bodeoom. Okay, I made it. Yeah, so you see the white rabbit, you see Santa Claus with a knife. You want to stay to stay away from that stuff. Okay, I will. And so you're gonna, you're gonna, you're gonna, you're gonna get, you're gonna get, you're gonna get, you're gonna get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. the they. the they. the they. the they. the the the the the the the the the white rabbit, you see Santa Claus with a knife. You want to stay away from that stuff. Okay, I will. And so you're gonna have, you're gonna get creepy Christmas songs. I don't want that. You're gonna get a man with mud on his lips kissing a house.

Starting point is 00:31:32 That's just weird. So he goes to this party and he meets his new co-worker. George Grosh. His thi groch. Gross. Grosch. Grosh. Grosh. I love it. George Grosh. It's a great name. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:31:52 And, oh, he's got this friend that he's talking to before he meets George Gros. He's like, what have you been doing, Harry? What are you doing, Harry? What are you, like, why is he doing this to Harry? I don't know. And then he's saying some creepy stuff to his co-worker about playing a tune and Oh, yeah. I'm gonna play my tune and everybody's gonna dance. Oh my god. And they're talking about George Grosch and the boss calls him Brite Boy and I just was like, demand to be called Bright Boy from Ellen. Well, Bright Boy. So George Gross tells him that this ad campaign that is playing on a loop of his boss being

Starting point is 00:32:31 like, hey, we're going to donate toys to this asylum, which we should get into that as well. But why don't you guys give money and that way we can donate more toys? It's just like, no, boss, why don't you just pay all of it. They made that ad just to show to the factory workers. That's a waste of money George Grosch. He's the braniac behind this ad campaign. This is why I need to be a great boy. And so I think it was Willoughby is the is the is the children's home. Okay and there was the fake fake fake fake fake fake fake fake. A thauauau. A th. A th. A th. A th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi. th. th. th. th. th. You th. You th. th. You th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You guys th. You guys th. You guys th. You guys th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. You guys. th. is the is the children's home okay and there was the fake Haraldo Rivera that's in this movie that's exposing Willoughby I don't know if you notice that on the TV or not no so there's a fake guy because Haraldo his first big break in journalism was exposing the ill treatment of children

Starting point is 00:33:21 in a psychiatric hospital in New York State okay that eventually got most of the psychiatric hospitals in America closed, hence the homelessness boom in America. Yeah, right. Because they decided not to do anything. Quit it. Yeah. Because it was, it was truly vile the way people were being treated. Like it was disturbing.

Starting point is 00:33:39 I can't even imagine. But it was in the, it was on the, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, the, the, th. th. the, th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th............................................................................................................. Geraldo Rivera. Like it was so funny. It was on the TV. At the party and then like it's showing another time like maybe at a bar or something. Yeah. Oh, and they were like, that's the home that we're going to be giving money to. Wait, is it Ricardo? Ricardo with the big hay? Yes, yeah.

Starting point is 00:34:01 Oh, the news guy. I just remembered Ricardo, he just popped into my head. That's a fake, Geraldo Rivera. I do not catch that. I love that. I don't know because my next thing says, this movie is boring. Because it is. It is.

Starting point is 00:34:19 It's really boring. It has these moments where you're like, whoa, I am totally on board with this. Right, like the very next scene, he's looking in the mirror, he's glued a beard onto his face and it's, he can't pull it off, it's on there like very, very strongly. And what would a, what would your reaction be when that happened? Um, I'd scream and look for some sort of solvent to get it off. It's so good. It's so upsetting. It's so upsetting. It's so upsetting. But like that's all you're going to get, you know? He's upset. Well, yeah, I waited 45 minutes for that, you know? And at this point I'm like, oh fuck, this isn't a horror

Starting point is 00:34:58 movie. This is just a drama about someone going insane. Yeah. And very well done. Yeah. But not what I signed up for, my Christmas horror podcast. I think we just expected a slasher. For sure. Yeah. And that's the way it sort of build too. Yeah. It looks like a slasher. Yeah. So he goes to the, he's dressed up to Santa Claus, goes to Jol-Dream, steals a bunch of toys and filled sacks up with them, then wraps all of them as presents for children. That's insane. You take forever. It would take forever. And then goes down to the river

Starting point is 00:35:32 and fills a bunch of sacks with mud from the river. Gives him the moss. With a note with a stinky kid on it. Now that's funny. It is. I have a series of notes that are like he's cracking, he's even crackier. Yeah. Which my auto-correct did not like that. Here's the word crackier. No, that's not good. No. So he goes to midnight mass on Christmas Eve. Sure.

Starting point is 00:35:59 And outside stabs people in the face with a... Admittedly, they were being dicks to him. So he stabs a guy in the eyeball, which we see the knife going to the eyeball. Like it a lot. Right, I guess it was a bayonet on the toy soldier. Yeah, exactly. And I guess it was the toy soldier that he smelt in earlier, which he had done a really nice paint. When does he have the time? This is all happening over a few days. What else is he doing? I mean, a few days is a few days.

Starting point is 00:36:25 We all have the same number of hours, you know. He's been doing B&E's around the neighborhood? Yes, taking, stealing presents, leaving presents, tbd. Yeah. The good kids. Like, one of the houses, I think it's his maybe his brother's house he's like taking things and throwing them back behind the tree and I didn't know why I think it's the crackier moments of that where he's just like he like takes a knife and he's got these packages tied really nicely and he cuts them and then just like throwing them behind the tree and opening stuff it's very weird. It's thir thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I thi. I's like like like like like thi. I'm the the. the. thrown the the the. the. the. the. I'm the the. I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their th. I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, thi,'re not, I mean, like, this isn't a smart

Starting point is 00:37:06 movie. You're not, I don't think I need to look too hard at why he's doing this, you know? Maybe it's a smarter movie than we're giving it credit for. I don't think so. It's what I'm going to say. So he goes to the children's hospital to deliver toys and there's a crotchet old guard who's gonna shoot him until he gives the guard a present. Yeah. And that guy's like, hold on a second, let me get the staff down here. To help carry all of this stuff. And there's this really sweet scene where they're calling him Santa Claus and he's very happy about that. It just seems like he could have the adulation for being Santa, without the murder. to to to to to to to to to to to to me, to to to to me, to me, to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, to, to, to, the, to to the, and the the, the, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they, they, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. Santa without the murdering. Sure. Why is that not what he wanted? Because I think there is the anger management issues that he has. Yeah, for sure. Because every time

Starting point is 00:37:50 we see him driving, there's just voices in his head and he's frantically looking around and like the camera is shaking while he's driving. Yeah, and there's a whipping sound all the time and I thought, boy. Boyd, did Santa the that's doesn't s right right right right right right right????? th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thi. Yeah, the the thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, the the the the their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah.ier? Oh yeah, he does. That doesn't seem right to me. Take that, Dasher. Eh, it doesn't sound right to me. Dancer? Nixon and Prancer. But I really like the scene and they're like hugging him and like a lady gives him a kiss on the cheek.

Starting point is 00:38:13 Yeah, it's really sweet. I referred to the people as midnight's mass as midnight mass holes. Oh, I used to hate going to midnight mass. It's the worst. Really? Because you're tired. You stink of fish. It's like, everyone, no one wants to sit next to like your family because you all fucking stank. Doesn't everyone stink of fish?

Starting point is 00:38:38 Well, I guess. I just remember sitting in midnight mass and being like, I smell like smelt. It's disgusting. You do not come from a long line of fishmongers. No, we do the seven fishes. The seven fishes. Yeah, I was gonna say 12 fishes. That's too many fishes. I don't even know that many fishes.

Starting point is 00:38:55 I do like what he stabs at the eye and then poys out like a, pulls out a toy hatchet and murders..... I th out, th out, th out, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, stabs the threw the eye and then poised out a toy hatchet and murders four people with this hatchet. It looks tiny. People go down so quickly, no one tries to restrain him or anything. Just one quick bonk on the head and they go down. Yeah. Oh man, he makes a nice toy.

Starting point is 00:39:19 Yeah, man knows what he's doing. He ends up up at the family the family the family the family the family the family the family the family the family the family, the family, the family, the family, the family, the family, the family, the family, the family, the family, the family, the family, the the the thi. thi, thi, thi, thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, toying, toying, toying. toying. toying. toy. toy. toying. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. He, toy. He, toy. He, toy. He is is, th is is, th is, th is, th is, thi. He is thi. He is thi. He is thi. He is toys. He is toye is toye. He's, toye. He's, toye. Hea. He's, toye. He's He just is walking down the street and hears music coming from inside and looks in and sees people waltzing. Yeah. And then just goes in and busts up the party kind of with his own need for attention. Well no, he's peeping again and then people see him peeping and come out and grab him. That's right. That's right. That's what happens. And the one actor who's in breaking breaking. That's that's that's that's th. That's th. That's that's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. the the the the th. the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thi. thee. the. thi. the the thee him inside. Oh really? They have the very pointy face. Okay. Yeah. This movie just has so many like, oh I know that guy. Everyone that guy? Oh look at that guy. He's doing that guy. One of the detectives who appears at the crime scene who shows up in a later scene and then never again doesn't do any crime solving is Senator Richard Mathison, Molder's friend from..... the the th. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. th. th. th. th. th. the. they. th never again doesn't do any crimes all of the is Senator Richard Matheson, Mulder's friend from the exiles. Oh, okay, okay. I know him as the dad unjustified.

Starting point is 00:40:12 Okay. I like him. And I believe he's also in flubber. Okay. That's a thing you know. Oh yeah, okay. I've never seen Flubber but I just know who's in it. I just know, I've always been Flover, but I've never seen Flubber. Yeah, we get this brief scene of like the cops going to the church, like,

Starting point is 00:40:31 let me guess, we're looking for Santee Claus. Oh my God. So he goes to the family and friends association, dances with them, has a really nice time. Has, gives the kids a weird speech about having to be good so they get more presents. Oh, would you like me to recite that speech right now? I guess. But now I want to remember to say, stay good to the boys and girls, respect your mothers and fathers, and do what they tell you, obey your teachers, and learn all a lot. Now, if you do tho th make sure you get good presents for every year.

Starting point is 00:41:06 Ha ha ha, but if you're bad boys and girls, your name goes in the bad boys and girls book and I'll bring you something horrible. Oh my god. While he's pointing at these children. One of them who looks like a tiny adult in a kimono. It's a living. But there are some of the parents, or adults at least, in the crowd looking at to, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to too, too, too, too, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to too, too, too, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their too, too.a, too, too, too, some of the parents, or adults at least, in the crowd looking at each other like, uh...

Starting point is 00:41:29 But then he grabs his tum tum and goes, Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. It's horrible. It's horrible. I liked early on the movie where he was trying to say Merry Christmas like Santa Claus, it just kept going, Merry Christmas, now that's not it. Really practicing it. Merry Christmas, no, we don't have it good. I did like when they brought all the Santa's in for a lineup,

Starting point is 00:41:51 and one of them was seven feet tall. It was so tall. I mean, literally, there's the measurement thing on the wall, he was seven feet. And I thought, like, wouldn't you have noticed, like, like, the same, the same, the same, the same, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho the same size as Shaquillo. It was Wilt Chamberlain, who would attack me. So he goes to his co-workers' house? Yeah, the guy you got him to work for him. Frank. Frank. Trank. Tries to go down the chimney, but he's too fake fat. Yeah. And then there's this long scene of him crying trying to drag himself back out of the chimney. Why is he crying? Because he's gone over the

Starting point is 00:42:32 edge at this point. It's just... so he just climbs back down the letter and goes on a basement window and kills Frank with a tree topper from his Christmas tree? Yeah, first he tries to smother him with a bag of hard objects. It's not gonna work. And this does not wake up his wife and I thought God I wish I was such a heavy sleeper. They were in two twin beds. They were pushed together. Yeah, but come on. If you're in a twin bed, listen with the new craftmatic twin bed. I did like like like like like like like like like like like like their their their their then like like like like like their their pushed together in their beds. I just like, wish I could sleep through the smothering of my husband. But it doesn't work, so he grabs the star off the Christmas tree in their bedroom and slices him with it. That's fucked up.

Starting point is 00:43:17 After leaving the kids' presents, yeah. And then the kids see him leaving. And he like smiles and waves at them. And they they they they they they they they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, thii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thoom, thoom, thoom, thoom. thi, thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. th. their, their, their, their, their, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom. And, tha. And he like smiles and waves at them. Yeah and they're like acting kind of shy and coy like oh my god we caught Santa. But then that's ruined by mom screaming. Holy ghost. Movie? Oh my god. So this is when we see Ricardo again the fake Geraldo Rivera. Yes yes yes and he's like tell your children to avoid all men who look like Santa Claus. It's everyone needs to avoid Santa Claus and if you know anyone who dressed up as the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their.o.o.o.o.o. I I. I. the. Everyone needs to avoid Santa Claus and if you know anyone who dressed up as Santa Claus call the emergency line. Sir! And at this point, Phil, Harry's bro is like, this is Harry. Yeah he knows. And Jackie's

Starting point is 00:43:56 like, it's not fucking Harry. You just hate Harry. Can we go fuck please? I'm just trying to be... Come on. Come on. Uh, Santa why's your suit dirty? there? Uh, there's a thirty the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the emergency the the the the the the the the the the the the the emergency the emergency the emergency the emergency the emergency the emergency the emergency the emergency the emergency the emergency the emergency the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the thi the the. the the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the trying to be... Come on! Come on. Uh, Santa, why's your suit dirty? Uh, there's a lot of pollution between here and the North Pole. Yeah, and the kids are like, ah, yes. Oh, yeah, that smog's been a real problem. You're going to work, huh? This scene is insane. This is the neighborhood scene?

Starting point is 00:44:22 Yes, where like, first of all, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the neighborhood scene? Yes, where like, first of all, it's lit up, the neighborhood has lit up like with these snowmen and the classic blow mold Santa's. It's menacing to me. Oh, I thought it was beautiful. Oh, did you know? Oh, did you know? I did. I love a blow mold in general.

Starting point is 00:44:38 So many of the same ones feels unhing. Sure. Apparently it took, uh, I'm sorry, what is my name again? Uh, Louis Jackson. Like, a decade to collect all the Santa ephemera. Where did he call? Where did he store that? I'm, I don't know, I know, a warehouse they had to have been. His mom's like, Lois? Get this stuff out of the basement! Mom, I'm Louis Jackson, your son, and director of Christmas Evil. And probably nothing else. Which premiered in Pittsburgh in 1980.

Starting point is 00:45:11 Did it? Why Pittsburgh? They're like you people love depressing shit. A horror capital of America. True story. So he goes in this neighborhood because he's like lured in by all of the Santa business. And he finds some kids on the street and they're like Santa and he's given him presents and the parents are like, uh-uh. He's going to hurt them, Brian, he's going to hurt them. And then Brian who is a mobster from a James Cagney movie?

Starting point is 00:45:40 What set did he wander off of? Banana Nana, banana, banana, banana, and just West Side Stories is way into this. With a switchblade. With a switchblade. Dad brought his switchblade on this Christmas walk and the children choose Santa. Yeah, because dad put on a switchblade, which Santa did not do. I don't know. I just would like hope that my kid would listen to Rob over a dirty old Santa, you know. I love the lady who takes off her brooch. this to to to to to to to the to to to the to to to the to the to the to to the to the the the the to the the the the the the the the to the to to to to to to the th story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story story to to to to to the switch the the the the the the the the the the the switch to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. With s. With s. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. to. to. today. today. today. thi. today. today. thi. today. the the today hope that my kid would listen to Rob over a dirty old Santa, you know. I love the lady who takes off her brooch and stabs him in the face with it. So bold. So bold. Really proud of her. Uh, you keep a little torches laying around? I mean, torches at the ready, yeah?

Starting point is 00:46:19 They all just light him up like that. He doesn't even have a chance to get back to his fan. light him up like that he doesn't even have a chance to get back to his van suddenly it's a Frankenstein chase it is it is and he gets hands up at Phil's house yeah what house Phil react to that angrily yeah he chokes him to death he chokes him to almost death and Jackie just watches which I was upset which I was upset about yeah she should intervene she's like they got to have this out let him work it out on the floor here. Phil, stop, Phil, don't. You like to straight up let him get murdered.

Starting point is 00:46:53 But he's not murdered, he's fine. Because Phil like thinks he's killed him and drags him out and puts him in his pants. What was the next step to that, do you think? I don't know. But I love when Phil goes running after him, because he drives away. Who he punches Phil first. I really liked, you just backhanded him. And the kids are cheering for their uncle, and I thought this is just a movie about children rooting

Starting point is 00:47:15 against their parents. Children not wanting parents to be happy. And he does like a big wind-up, like pop-I style-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-up-I-up-up-I-up-I-I-up-up-I-up-up-up-I-I-up-up-up-up-up-i-up-up-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. I th-s. I th-s. th-s. th-s. th-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s punches him. And Phil goes, takes off running and when he hits the snow you can tell that it's like a white plastic tarp that just crumples underneath of him when he falls down the hill. There's like a bunch of cardboard and bags down there and I didn't know why. Ah, New York City, huh? So, oh, he's hope this movie ends. Oh, he's still being, he's still being chased by the, the mob of torch bearers. And he drives off a bridge, because he loses control of the van, and well he falls in the river, right? No, he doesn't. He flies off into the night as a night before Christmas.

Starting point is 00:48:04 Twas the night before Christmas, the last lines of that poem are red as he's flying towards the moon. It is insane. Bonkers. I just can't even believe this is a movie. So he's, he's become Santa Claus now, right? Is this what Santa Claus is? Yeah. A murderous lunatic? Kind of, right? I mean, you gotta pay the price price the price the wait, wait, what do you think that being Santa is a privilege, not a right? A phrase I've been using a lot lately, I'm sorry. Katie? Yeah. Let's rate this mothfucker.

Starting point is 00:48:43 Let's Christmas rate this mothofucker. You start with your little Christmas rating. I liked it. No. It's very disturbing. But I think it set out to be very disturbing. Oh yeah. And it wasn't gross sexual assault disturbing.

Starting point is 00:49:03 So I think I was like, like whoo and wiped the sweat away from my brow. Big old sigh of relief. I was definitely living in fear of a reanimator too situation because this is not the time of year for either of us to have to deal with that nonsense. No I agree. Um look at this movie 7. You're stunned. I'm gobsmatched. You're shocked. I am shocked. It's like, I just put mud all over my lips and kissed your house. Please don't, this movie is bad.

Starting point is 00:49:32 It's boring. It's not well explained. I think his performance is great. Yeah. I think it looks pretty good. Yeah, for sure. But the pacing is so weird. Yes. And I just want to understand, like, I want to understand, like, I just want to understand, if a movie is based around like a psychological break, I want to understand the reasons for the break.

Starting point is 00:49:56 I feel like that's important. He saw some light leg rubbing. Yeah. It's enough to drive anyone in safe. Thir three years ago. And the people were married and had sired him. And Philly. Just feel like, it just doesn't make a lot of sense to me. Yeah, I just have to imagine that like, he drove off the bridge and died, but in his mind he flew away as Santa Claus. I think, and that's a fine explanation. That's not the part I'm taking issue with. Sure, it's the previous hour and 30 minutes. It's just how did

Starting point is 00:50:27 he get to this point? You know, I will never watch this movie again. If someone asks me if I want to watch it I will say no and throw a drink in their face. Three. Three. Three. I would not waste the knog. Three. For the three wise wise wise wise wise wise wise wise wise three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. th. th. th. th. Three. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th.. For the three wise men who attended the birth of Christ. Gold frankincense and mur. Oh, I like those scents. And murrs. Gold. You like to smell a gold? Oh my god, do I ever? Your bathtub's full. Your bathtub's full gold. Yeah, well I'm screwed your duck. Oh yeah. I don't think you should dive in there. It's very shallow. Oh, Katie. You want to talk about some darkness around the holidays? What should people do if they're feeling a little blue? Oh, uh, they should hold on one second.

Starting point is 00:51:16 Let me open up. Come on, application. Come on. to make me look like a schmuck. Like Harry. I'm on Jesus' birthday. What is that 70's song? Jesus is just all right with me.

Starting point is 00:51:34 Jesus is just all right. Yeah. Yeah. Basically. So if you're feeling a little blue, feeling like you need to talk to somebody, you need to reach out the National Suicide Prevention Hotline, their number is 800273-A-255, 800273, 8255. Also if you give a Google to the Suicide Prevention Hotline, there is a chat option on their website if you don't want to actually talk to somebody would just have a chat online with them if that's something you're more

Starting point is 00:52:06 comfortable doing. If it feels overwhelming to pick up the phone. You're not alone. For sure. There's help out there. Yeah. Don't fuck around you guys. Don't fuck around and find out. And on that note, we're taken tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho. tho. thoomoomoomoomoomoomoomoomo tho. tho o' to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. take care of each other. Take care of yourselves.

Starting point is 00:52:25 And on that note, we're taking next week off. Yeah, we're going to take a little vacation and then we're coming back the following week. Yeah, with our New Year's episode. Mm-hmm. What's it going to be, Alan? Oh, my God, I've already forgotten think is going to be one of the more fun romcoms we've done. For sure. And also let's look at Benjamin Bratt for an hour and 40 minutes or whatever.

Starting point is 00:52:48 Wait, which one's Benjamin Brad? The hot one. All right, I'll have to see where I see. Oh, he was in that other movie that we did. Um, yeah, he was like a cop in something. In, uh, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the that's the the the th. th. th. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. the. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. ition Man. Yeah, we did it for the podcast. No, we definitely didn't. We did too. It's the Stallone in the future one, with Wesley Snipes and Sandra Bullock.

Starting point is 00:53:12 Oh! That was called Demolition Man. What? I genuinely can barely remember it. When was that? Two months ago? Not even. Call the police?

Starting point is 00:53:31 I need help. Call Benjamin Brat the police officer. Yeah, two months ago, because last month was Star Trek Troopers. Hmm. And next month on January 1st, when you get our miscogeniality episode, you'll also be getting our... Rocky 4. Yes.

Starting point is 00:53:53 That's what's on our Patreon this month. Yousa. A very merry Dolphmiss to all of you. So go take care of yourselves. Yeah. Send us a message. We're around. Yeah, please take care of yourselves. Yeah. Send us a message. We're around. Yeah, please do.

Starting point is 00:54:08 Uh, we love you. And... Happy holiday. It's the holiday season. So boop, she boop. And I don't even know. Clipty clop? That's on a horse, is it?

Starting point is 00:54:25 It's a reindeer, they got clips and clops. That's fair. Maybe they wear outdoor flip-flops. It's the most wonderful time. Oh man, you're bumming me up. Well, you just maybe watch Christmas Evil. Thanks for listening to another episode of WearWoof Ambulance. Bye-bye. Oh, ho! Oh, oh. Full penny. That's your takeaway.

Starting point is 00:54:51 Yeah. Maybe I'm dead rules, Savini's sightings at the pool. No way to do it, let's keep in fulfill reviews. Killing to fulfill reviews. Kill a glass and let the face. Can't live in space. A few inside the basketcase. in the atmosphere, a pair in sarcastic case. Please make I continue to break. E&T.

Starting point is 00:55:31 A road and comedy reviews hungry, Brian, from wings and Stephen Gang. E&T. We live deliciously bad temperatures of bees crazy gone to daddy. A paranormal act in tisks from Mr. Rogers to eat in EFT, EMT, EM2.

Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 360- Christmas Evil (1980)

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