Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 361- Miss Congeniality (2000)

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey Katie. Happy post-New Year's. Happy post-New Year's. Oh yeah. What's today's day? The third? Yeah, it's the third. Yeah. Happy New Year's. Happy New Year's? Happy New Year's. Yeah, it's the third. Yeah. Happy New Year's. Happy New Year's. In honor of New Year, I would like to do a game where I read off potential Christmas movies, and you tell me whether they're real or not? Yeah.... Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah..... Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah New Year's to you. In honor of New Year, I would like to do a game where I read off potential Christmas movies and you tell me whether they're real or not. Okay. This is before we get into the 1994. What? Year 2000? Year 2000. Year 2000, classic. Genuently don't know if you were serious or not. Oh, next week is 1994. Oh yeah. Dude we should have discussed which movie you were doing first, huh? Well, we're doing them in order. Two thousand miscongeniality. Right.

Starting point is 00:00:47 It's a romantic film, is it? Oh, my memory. This is a real dentist moment for me, but let's play the game and then we'll get into it. Well, I'm going to present you with a Christmas Romcom. Well, I'm going to present you with a Christmas Rom to, th Christmas season. What a good guy. And I'm going to give you the plot synopsis of a Christmas Romcom. One of them is not real. Okay, okay, okay. I have six of them. Wait, five are real? And one is not. Are these all the five all films that you watched? I have seen at least most of all five of them. Okay, good. The one that is not real is one that I want to produce. Okay. So hopefully you will will the the the five. the five. the five.. the five. the five. the five. the five. the five. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th.that is not real is one that I want to produce. Okay. So hopefully you will back me up on this. All right, I'm ready for our production company, Whirlfambulence Production.

Starting point is 00:01:30 W.A. Productions. Oh, we're, we, and that'll be the opening for the world. This one's called Spirit of Christmas. Okay. A young lawyer finds romance with a spirit that takes the form of a human 12 days before Christmas. Real or not real. Does she fuck it? Well, I guess I do. Can I ask questions? Yeah, yeah. Does, do, does she fuck it? Almost nobody ever fucks in these movies? Really? Just like heavy petting?

Starting point is 00:02:04 Not even. Like, Rumspringer has more going on this time. Okay, do I hear them all or do I say true or false? You can know why don't we go one by the way? You tell me whether or you think that's a real movie. I mean, I can see the meeting where people are sitting around a table and someone comes up with that. thu. I the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thronge thin thin thin' thin' thin' thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. throng. throng. throng. throng. to throng. throng. throng. throng. throng. throng. throngu. throngu. throngu. throngu. true. Okay, it is indeed true. I have watched this movie. How is it? Pretty bad. Okay. Watch the trailer if you get a chance for it. Because the ghost walks into the room and you go, oh my god I would have to fuck him. He's so fucking hot. Really? This movie is ridiculous. Like think about it, if you're a ghost you're a ghost who's trying to get fucked. You're not gonna come back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back come back at me in Sandy Bullock's body. Why did you have to take the hit? Why would I say that about you? Not about me.

Starting point is 00:02:50 I thought there was the only other choice. Let me get you a picture of this dude. It's a hot ghost. Man, I love a hot ghost. Because after Christmas does he go away? Well, Katie K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K K. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thii's, th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's, that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I that that you got to watch the movie. Look at this fucking dude. Oh yeah I fuck him. He's super hot. And he's French Canadian so you're like double whammy. All right Katie. I bet I can't say his name properly and he finds that off-putting. And then you just yell you're not even Kaporial. Wait but does he go away after Christmas? Katie?

Starting point is 00:03:24 Katie! Alan! No, because of love, he sticks around and gets about another, not at least on life. I loved it, now I hate it. Last Christmas. Okay. A shop clerk finds love and a direction in life from mysterious stranger who happens to be a ghost of the man that she got her new heart from. Oh, that's 100% real. Yeah, yeah based on the wham song last Christmas. Wow I gave you my heart. Yeah. Did she then take it out on Boxing Day and give it the highest bidder? So did you have you seen this one? Yeah I have. They did not fuck. I don't even think they hook up. I think he's just there to guide her into a better life. I mean, fine. Don't fuck your mentors.

Starting point is 00:04:12 All right, here's another one. Okay. A castle for Christmas. To escape a scandal, a best-selling author journeys to Scotland where she falls in love with a castle and faces off of the grumpy Duke who owns it. When you say falls in love with a castle, does she fuck the castle? Does she fuck it? I can't tell you until you tell me whether it's real or not.

Starting point is 00:04:39 Grumpy Duke who owns it. Does she fuck him? No, this is a real movie. This is it starts Brooke Shields and Carrie Illwis. What? I would fuck him as a grumpy duke, frankly. Man, I'm horny for Christmas movies. Let's keep going. Ready to jingle. Peehnit. A lonely, curmudgently janitor finds love in a new sense of self with a ghost of a

Starting point is 00:05:08 tenant on Christmas Eve. Is he a hot janitor? Ugh. Because I don't see a romcom being written around a janitor. Okay. I feel like these are all lifetime movies or Hallmark channel movies. Well, Netflix is like a cottage industry now as well. Really? Yeah, yeah, most of the ones I've seen are Netflix. See Netflix I don't have a sense for because I feel like the audience for a lifetime and a

Starting point is 00:05:33 Hallmark channel movie are not Janitor fuckers. Which I mean, I mean, I mean, no classes of no offense do I would fuck a janitor. I'm horny for janitors. I'm not. I'm the janitor f f j j j j j j j j j j j j-a f. I'm not. I'm the janitor f. I'm the janitor f. I'm the janitor f. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm. I'm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'm. Yeah, I'm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm. Yeah. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. offense do. I would fuck a janitor. I'm horny for janitors. I mean, it's not a married woman. Yeah, I'm gonna say it's real. Oh, that is the one I want to get produced. Really? I came up with the title ready to jingle. Ready to jingle. I figured it was his keys jiggling. Yeah, no, I got that part that part that part that part that part that part that part that part that part that part that part that part that part that part that part that part that part that part that part. How about this one, Katie?

Starting point is 00:06:05 Well, it's probably real, but I'm ready for it anyway. The rest of it are real. I just gave it away the game. Well, I gave away the game by not getting it right. Godmothered. Oh, fuck. Said at Christmas time, Godmother is a comedy about Eleanor, a young and experienced fairy godmother in training, who upon hearing that her chosen profession is facing extinction, decides to show the world that people still need fairy godmothers.

Starting point is 00:06:28 Fuck you. You seen that one? Yeah, it's a Disney movie, it's not a Disney movie, it's not a Disney movie, it's not, it's a Disney movie makes me think, okay, it's for children. It is for children. Okay, well, no, I'm not. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theea. thea. thea. ta. toda. toda. ta. toda. today. today. today. today. the. the. ththere gonna be fucking and ready to jingle? Oh my god, are you joking me? Originally I had written it as, but I had to stretch it because I knew there was no way you were gonna believe this. Set at a key party in the 1970s.

Starting point is 00:06:52 Yep, nope, I'm already out. Ready to jingle, drop those keys. You still got me on ready to spirit of Christmas. How many spirits get fucked at Christmas time? Is it their only time they get, like can get a, okay, an erection? You've seen a Christmas story, or a Christmas Carol, right? Heaven is your screw just fucking his way through past present and future. Fucking everybody. This one you know about because it's the one that I yelled about because they definitely fucks a ghost. A woman. Okay. of Christmas. Wow. How do you know she

Starting point is 00:07:25 fucks the ghost? Oh no, you see post-quadal ghost and woman. Is he like translucent at all? No, he becomes corporeal for the fucketing. And then he goes away. Yeah, yeah, she, uh, well, no, she, it's her who, she has died after their first date and has to go back and complete their love connection. First date? That's super intense. What if you went on a single date with someone and then they came back to fucking haunt you?

Starting point is 00:07:56 For sex. For sex. That's a sex pest. That's just the internet, right? Yeah, you're right about that. Oh, let's th, th, th, th, thi, th, th, th, thi, th, thi, thi, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, that's th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. That's th. Well, th. Well, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that that that that, that, you're right about that. Ooh, slide into your DMs. Let's talk about miscongeniality. Let's talk about miscongeniality. This movie is mind-boggling.

Starting point is 00:08:14 But how it got made? Because it does, it can't have a script. No. Here is my memory of this movie. Yeah. That it's a fun little romp. True. Sandra Bullitt gets to do a lot of physical comedy. She's a delight in it beginning to end. That she's really, yeah, good comedy from her. And that you're rooting for her and Benjamin Brat to get together.

Starting point is 00:08:35 Ooh, not my experience. I think that's because I've ever fallen asleep in a movie theater while watching so. What? Yeah, even though it's just so action-packed. There's a lot of downtime in this movie. Yeah, it does not need to be as long as it is. Like when they get to the pageant at the end, there's 30 minutes left. There's 30 minutes. Is a real page? It's a real page? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. theeeeea. thea. theea. thea. thea. theea. theeeea. thi. thee. the. a real pageant even 30 minutes? How long does it take? Holy shit. It starts off on a playground, which I enjoyed because she's a little girl who beats up a bully and I'm like, I like her. I was thinking, like to see Lucy in this role. Like to see Lucy kick ass on the playground. Baby Sandy definitely kicks takes no shit. Then the opening credits start scrolling through and I was like, William Shattner. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's. It's th. S. It's th. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. ththe opening credits start scrolling through and I was like, William Shatner, Ernie Hudson?

Starting point is 00:09:29 No memory of either of them being in this movie. Candace Bergen? Candace Bergen is in this film. For like, I'm going to be super honest with you here for one brief second. I was like, is that Martha Stewart? Because they're fucking twins. Twinsies for sure. But, you know, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, th. the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. thi. th. th. th.. Twainters. But, you know, it's also just like, as soon as it kicks in, you're like, all right, baby, here we go.

Starting point is 00:09:49 Turn of the Century, let's go. Once again, a film has the, I don't know why I'm yelling, once again, a movie has the presupposition that Sandra Bull's just not attractive. Just like how many times do we have to see this plot of like the She's All That, any makeover movie, you know? I can't fathom anyone being attracted. Even like beer swilling, farting, Sandra Bullock, everyone's like, yeah, no, 100%. I'm down. Drop Dead gorgeous. She has no arc in this movie except except not hot-ish to hotter. Yeah, to a lot of makeup. From a lot of makeup, from no hair products to hair products.

Starting point is 00:10:35 Uh-huh, uh-huh. Yeah. She's a cop. She's an FBI agent. She is. She works for Ernie Hudson, for whom I have written here. He's just such a fine-looking man. I love your love of Ernie Hudson. He's just so smoking hot. Don't you think? I do. I find him to be, yeah, and he's charismatic and charming. And that voice, it's like butter. What he's not doing is we're an Errol Flynn accent. Yeah. Oh, fuck. What was that? Congo? Congo, yeah. We're him and Tim Curry, we're having an accent off. That's right. God, we should do that movie again. Hi, Elena.

Starting point is 00:11:11 Perfect because I wanted to do a quick diversion for a suggestion for listeners. If you are a fan of hip hop and a fan of Pittsburgh, thi. I would suggest checking out HUB's HU BBS. Okay. Local MC. His album is called Winston Zetamore. Okay, all right. I love it. And I think I've told you about that. He has a song called Routes.

Starting point is 00:11:33 Yeah, yeah. Where it's all like he's going through different bus routes in Pittsburgh. Yeah. It's fucking fantastic. I will listen to that. He's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. thu. thu. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. tha. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. t to. t t t t the t t will blow up, so get on the ground floor. They've heard it here first. So yeah, she works for Ernie Hudson. They're having a communist bar? Just a Russian bar? So Russian.

Starting point is 00:11:52 She's reading like a girl's guide to Russian linguistics or something, which has a camera in it. And the TV. Yeah, I shouldn't say a camera. She's watching it on an iPad, what's happening, that she's recording? And they're watching it in the headquarters? Sure, yeah. I forget, okay, this is where she nearly gets someone killed. Oh, because the guy is pretending to choke.

Starting point is 00:12:18 Right. I think he's actually choking. He goes in to help him. But then... He grabs a knife. He grabs a knife. And holds her hostage and then her friend gets shot. Her cop friend, FBI friend.

Starting point is 00:12:32 Agent friend? Sure, yeah. She does deliver the line. That's one really, really purple Russian, sir. That's the level of writing in Miss Congeniality. The problem with this movie is it has like two excellent lines and then so many jokes that are so bad. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:12:50 So she goes home after being a bad agent and almost getting someone killed. And her, and Ernie Hudson's like, you're just too impulsive, I can't trust you. And you're like, you're absolutely fucking right. movies presenting him like he's a bad guy. The movie is very concerned about who is and who is not the, or very confused about who is and who is the bad guy. Absolutely. I have the note, hell yeah, hungry man dinner when she goes home to cook herself a more hungry man dinner?

Starting point is 00:13:15 Yeah, she's just got a freezer full of them. I loved a hungry man dinner when I ate meat. And just the way she's like, the toe, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I, I's, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I the the the the the the the the the the the thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the th... thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th thi. thi. thi. th thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. like dragging her ass around the apartment and like trying to get the microwave door to close and tripping over things and you're just like Sandy your fucking delight. She's so I was thinking about your thing of her always being like well what if I did a pretfall? Yeah maybe better if I did a pretfall. Yeah, the woman loves to fall. Yep. What a man, what a money good man? Here's the thing about Sandra Bullock. Yeah. I think she and I could be friends.

Starting point is 00:13:48 Oh, for sure. Unlike that bitch, Sharon Stone. Well, you just put that out in the world, so she's probably not going to want to be be your friend. Well, I mean, she, I don't think, I don't think, I don't think she think she think she think she think she think she think she think she think she thin she thin she thin she thin she thin she thin she thin she thin she thin she could th. I could th. I could thin she and I could thin. I could thin and I could thin she and I could that she and I could that she and I could she and I could she and I could she she and I could she and I could she and I could she and I could she she she she and I could she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she th. I could th. I th. She th. She th. She'd th. She'd th. She'd thin she'd th. She'd th. She'd th. She'd th. She'd th. She'd th. She'd th. She'd th. She'd th. She'd th. She'd th. She'd th. She'd thin she could th. She, but no actual spit would come out because she's a lady. Yeah, why is it so dry in your mouth, Sharon? A coin falls out eventually. And then in the next scene we see Sandra Bullock using her FBI creed to get to the front of the Starbucks line. Yeah, abuse of power, Sandy. She is not great.

Starting point is 00:14:26 The boss is mad at her. She loves beer and burgers. These are lines that I have. When she orders, give me a pint. And the guy goes, a whole one? All right. And you're like, oh yeah, she wants a beer. It's Ben and Jerry's. Katie. What's gonna happen when she eats all that Ben and Jerry's? What? She gonna get chip-faced. Jesus Christ! She says that! Did Benjamin Bratt when he wants him? No, I was so distracted by the fact that Benjamin Bratt comes in, and he's like,

Starting point is 00:14:58 this is an undergrad, and it's like, make her a grad student movie, or he's a monster. Nope, he's a monster. Nope he's a monster. But I do like this is the one of the two good lines in the movie is when the bartender's asking what she wants and she said her milk, give her milk. She's a child. I'm so bummed that you Mr. saying I'm gonna get chip based. I am too. This chocolate chip cookie ice cream. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, man.

Starting point is 00:15:31 Wait, actually, I think I have a couple more good lines. Yeah, now that I'm going through my notes, I see them all. And I'm laughing again. So she puts it to get, so there's this guy out there, the citizen. Citizen. Who's a bomber? I guess so, like a unibomber type, I think. Yeah, they find him in the woods in a cabin somewhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely a Kaczynski rip off. Rip off?

Starting point is 00:15:53 Couldn't even get the real Kaczynski. He was busy at this Kerklund Signature? It's such a great way to describe a knockup of something. And I'm so happy you just said it. Sandra Bullock goes through the clues and figures out that he's going to hit the Miss United States pageant. Right, that better that we all know. Begs the question. When you find out who the bad guy is, why would they send it as a clue?

Starting point is 00:16:28 Why would they draw the attention? You know what I mean? Why would they give them the opportunity to stop it? Oh, because they needed the press to be there, to notice them to be the heroes in the situation so she think about it. But the press would have already been there because it's a pageant. The FBI didn't alert the press. Yeah, I know. I know.

Starting point is 00:16:50 I know. Yes. Well, they're crazy. They're crazy. to do crazy things. Right? Why? Is the threat. guy. Is she crazy or is she just bored? Yes. Okay. Is she just a middle-aged woman

Starting point is 00:17:08 who's being ignored by society? Yeah. Yeah. So they tell us of the Miss United States pageant is it gonna be in San Antonio, home of the Alamo and someone someone off screen says I forgot the Alamo and you're just like, what? So fucking good. It's like stuff like that and chip-faced where you're like, okay, so you're trying to be like a, what is it, like a Zucker Brothers, the like airplane and those movies are just like constant, knob-stop firing jokes. Right, joke a minute, yeah.

Starting point is 00:17:41 But they're that level of funny when you're writing one for every minute? It's like, you can do better than just a fart joke. Yeah. I forgot the Alamo. I laughed so hard. So they're, uh, they're gonna send it an agent, Katie. You ever been to the Alamo? No, I have not. So much smaller than you think it thiiiiiii thi thi thithe Alamo. I know that there's no basement. Yeah. And that Ozzy peed on it. These are the two facts.

Starting point is 00:18:14 I have about the Alamo. Yeah. It's like next door to what Jimmy Johns. Of course it is where the smells are free. Yeah. Yeah. So the the the the the the smell. It is it is it is it is it is it is it is. the smell the smell. It's the smell. It's the smell. It's the smell. It's the smell. It's the smell. It's the smell. It's the smell. It's the smell. It's the smell. It's the smell. It's the smell the smell the smell the smell the smell the smell the smell the smell the smell the smell the smell the smell the smell the smell the smell the smell the smell the smell the smell the smell the smell the smells the smells the smells the smells the smells the smells the smells. It's the smells. It's the smells. It's the smells. It's the smells. It's the smells. It's the smells. It's the smells. It's the smells. It's the smells. It's the smells. It's the smells. It's the smells. It's the smells. It's the smells. It's the smells. It's the smells. It's the smells. It's the smells. It's the smells. It's the smells. It's the smells. It's the smells. It's the pick an agent and they're like oh yeah she can do it and central it goes yeah if it's a Miss LaMaz pageant she's pregnant. So this is very confusing because they seem to have this software they have a database of agents and then they have like baby doll dress up clothes software that they somehow meld to imagine the bodies of their colleagues? Okay. Yeah. Which they have all loaded into the computer system. How though? How do they know what Sandra Bullock's belly button looks like? Well you know Feds they have to get a full body scan. It's their, they're, they're, it stands for female body inspector.

Starting point is 00:19:06 How many times do you think they like had to slap someone's hand for trying to write that into the script? Sir, we can't use beach, sir and jean, jokes. The beach store will sue us. Ha ha ha ha, and she's like, I can't do it. What am I going to be, Gracie Lou Freebush? Yeah, yeah. Well, Benjamin Bratt is just like swanning around, being beautiful and a total fucking

Starting point is 00:19:34 asshole. Yeah, telling her how she's not a lady and how ugly she is and how no one would ever want to be her to be the pretty person. And to be the pretty person. And she's only on this team because team because the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, I the, I the. I to be to be to be to be the. to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean thean thean thean theeeeeeee the person. And to be the pretty person. And she's only on this team because when they all sat down to figure out what to do, she was like, well, you could call the pageant, set up some meetings, you could do this, you're going to need this person and that person. Yeah. And they're all like, oh yeah, and it's like you're in the FBI. How incompetent could you be and also be in the f f f f f f f f. the f. the f. the the f. the the f. the f. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to be to be the to be th. th. to be thi. to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be th. And th. And th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. t. t. t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t t. t t t t. t t t. t t be and also be in the FBI? I liked this because like it was that common thing of a woman has an idea, men take credit

Starting point is 00:20:10 for it and I was like, oh, I did a little social commentary right now. For sure. Social commentary, though, this movie is so clearly 20 years ago. Like it's such a microcosm of like jokes that would not be okay. The homophobia, the like light homophobia, this this just just sugar-dusted throughout this entire movie. There's a scene where a man touches another man and that man goes, well I got to go. Yeah. Why do you want to fuck the man who just touched you when you don't feel all right about it? What's the problem here? Was he a Christmas ghost? Because I only fuck a Christmas ghost.

Starting point is 00:20:47 Oh, what a bubber if that's your thing. Yeah. It's like, I'm not gonna get fucked for a year now. How would you feel if that was your life? You would just have to have somebody who was cool with role playing as a Christmas ghost. Just fucking Jacob marleying into the bedroom. I like that because they have to just go home afterwards, you know. They have to go, and climb out your bedroom in to. Yeah, like what comes out of Sharon Stone's mouth when she doesn't want to be my friend? Just dust.

Starting point is 00:21:18 This is a weird, weird universe we're building. That's what we're doing though. We're creating a rich tapestry of fiction for these people. Rich tapestry of nonsense. I don't know man there's a t-shirt for our fake scabands. It's true. Everything is real now. It's true. If you and I say it, it becomes real. It becomes real. I have a note she's doing wrestling moves, but I don't have any memory of what that's about. Oh, they were in the gym and it's like fraught with sexual tension, I guess. Oh, okay. And he's slapping her ass all over the place, which is also like, please don't do that

Starting point is 00:21:54 to your co-worker. And it's to show that he's like, thi's, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, yeah, I would have, I mean looking at Benjamin Bratt, I would guess he could take me down. I was feeling so bad for Sandra Bullock at this point in time because she had a fake fuck Sylvester Stallone in a movie not too long before this. Yeah, and he's like her dad. Just this whole thing of like pretending she's not beautiful and smart and like it's very weird. She was in a very weird place. But this is also a very weird place for Sandra Bullock to be because when they do the pageant she is so clearly so much older than all of the girls competing in it. Sandy Bullock, beautiful

Starting point is 00:22:41 woman, skin perfection. She's in her mid-30s in this movie. Yeah and it shows because she is and the other girls are girls the girls the girls the girls the girls the girls the girls the girls the girls the girls girls the girls the girls the girls the girls the girls the girls the girls the girls girls the girls girls the girls the girls girls. the girls. the girls girls. the girls. the girls. the girls. their girls. their girls. th girls. their girls. their girls. their girls. It's their girls. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. thi. their. their. their. their. the. thi. the. thi. the. the. the. She's in her mid-30s in this movie. For sure. Yeah, and it shows because she is. And the other girls are in their like early 20s, I think. And it shows because they are. And it's like, why doesn't the movie in any way address this? I don't know. We're still in that time period though where high you know, high school is populated with 30-year-olds in movies.

Starting point is 00:23:06 I guess. But it's just the idea that a 35-year-old woman would come second in the Miss United States pageant. It's just hard to believe. Anyway. Fucking Michael Kane shows up as the pageant instructor. What a fucking delight he is in this. I love his period of acting where he's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like. I, like, like, like. I, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I. But, I. But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but. But. But. But, but, but, but, but, but. But, but. But. But. But, but. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But, but, but. But. But. But. But, but, but, but, but. But. But. But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but. But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, I. But, I. th. th. th. the pageant instructor. What a fucking delight he is in this.

Starting point is 00:23:26 I love his period of acting where he's like, get a paycheck? Yeah, you got it. Sign me up. He is very good. I'll knock it out of the park. I'm going to be great. People are going to love that I'm in this. But I'm also going to say some weird shit, like the deaf mute thing, which is like, oh buddy, no.

Starting point is 00:23:48 You can't beat that, he says. But he also says to Sandra Bullock, I haven't seen a walk like that since Jurassic Park, which I thought was kind of funny. I mean, I'm grasping here. When she's eating a steak and he says, when you finish with your half-mastigated cow in your trap, it's like damn Michael Kane. His character act is also insane because he goes from like he's being very hard on

Starting point is 00:24:14 her, he has to renew his reputation because something has happened that has put him on the bottom once he was on the top now he's on the bottom and so like Sandra Bullock being his redemption story is important the bottom. Once he was on the top now he's on the bottom. And so like Sandra Bullock being his redemption story is important to him. And so he's being very hard on her, but then at the end of the movie he's like, you're the greatest lady I've ever seen. You're like, what? Since when? You hate her? I feel like he has that like Morgan Freeman as a principal with a baseball bat or it's like tough love his way into the hearts and minds of everybody. I guess.

Starting point is 00:24:53 I guess. I guess. And his defense, her walk is fucking hilarious. It's a very fun. She is such a good physical comedian. I don't think she gets the credit for being as funny as she is. I don't think she does either because I th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi thi thi thi thi. thi thi. thi. thi. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th she gets the credit for being as funny as she is. I don't think she does either, because I think she says a lot of just dumb, like romantic comedies, not like a straight comedy. Or she's in the blind side.

Starting point is 00:25:12 Oh my god, I forgot about that. You should have. Yeah. It's a white savior movie. And she was in Bird Box. Oh my god. Remember all the young people were like, thia. . Yeah, and she was in Bird Box. Oh my God. Remember all the young people were like, who's this lady?

Starting point is 00:25:26 I think we talked about that in that episode. Who are these two M-Maws? So they take her to get a makeover, which, why is it happening in this like alien UFO space? From what we learned later, they are the top FBI makeover artists. What is happening? Who give an agent a bikini wax? Yeah. Walk after her bikini wax? That doesn't happen. But it's it's such like a again written by a 12-year-old like, I better hurts, better hurts what happens and you can't walk. This is written by two women and a man. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:26:10 Yeah. So I'm going to assume he wrote that. Also, there's this weird thing happening where there's someone on a PA being like T minus eight minutes till hair color or whatever. And it's like, what, what fucking budget taxpayer dollar take her to bo-rix get her a haircut they do the downtown too they gonna rip the hair off from the downtown all all hair removal units all hair removal units why all hair removal units.

Starting point is 00:26:45 Why is this a military operation? Did they confuse the FBI in the military when writing this movie? Both government agency, who gives a shit? Sirs, I do. There's a woman just walking by in the background, grooming a small baby doll. Where are you taking it? She's practicing. Never stop combing, never stop combing. Never stop combing.

Starting point is 00:27:07 Never stop combing. So she gets the name Gracie Loufrey Bush. Yeah. Which is being told to her by Benjamin Bratt when he is eating a big sandwich and he's like, I've ever seen a sandwich this big, oh it's a lot of meat. You're like, ah, you're talking about your dick. That's why I have the note Ben Bratt is a grosso. Yeah, talking about his old, old dick. But she's not allowed to eat that, she has to eat celery because she's not already like the most fit person you've ever seen in your life. She's been eating hungry man dinners for dinner every night. Let this bitch eat a sandwich for fuck sake. Like, oh, surprise.

Starting point is 00:27:50 I was so angry when they had their reveal. And she comes out and she's beautiful. And it's Mustang Sally that's playing. Not a hot song for 2000. Like you couldn't get a single hip-hop. It was the era of like the golden age of radio hip-hop. Drop some apple bottom jeans in there. What do we do?

Starting point is 00:28:08 Everything. Like a helicopter, anything would have been. Like, sorry, I'm sorry. Is Sam Elliot entering the scene in Roadhouse? Yeah. Then you can play Mustang Sally. Oh, gross. When I think of hot women, I think of, oh, oh, see, hilly. When you start revving up, I thought you were going to do the beginning of Kickstarter

Starting point is 00:28:33 my heart. See? There it is. Her makeup is also just so turn of the century. Oh, sure. The fucking nude shimmer lip that she's wearing through this entire thing is rough. Does she have very arched eyebrows? Yeah. Smoky eye. And as you may guess, she is indeed gorgeous. She's beautiful. That dress she's wearing,

Starting point is 00:29:01 I think I read somewhere is made out of like elastic bands. It's just elastic. Oh wow. Yeah. Okay. Which is ridiculous. Yeah, yeah. She can't have that sandwich.

Starting point is 00:29:12 No sandwiches. Although, you think if you were going to eat a sandwich, exactly. It's like how you wear sweatpants to. It's like I will never buy jeans that don't. . Imagine that with that with that with that with that with that with that with that with that with that with that with that with that with that with that with that with that with that the the the the the the the th th the th th. th. th. th. th. thoom, that. the. thathea. thoom, thoom, thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. to. to. to. toea. toea. toea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the. did we used to? I don't know. Imagine that with low-rise jeans. It was the most uncomfortable thing in the world and we just did it anyway. Speaking of the year 2000. Yeah. Great Pratt fall because she can't walk in high heels, even though I'm pretty sure her cop shoes were high heels. Yeah, but they're a chunky heel. Sure, chunky heel, sure. No, she's very funny at falling down.

Starting point is 00:29:46 And then she's on the bus going to the pageant. Why, like it sounds like she's taking a greyhound. It's saying them from the hotel to the pageant, I assume, or something. And Candace Bergen to entertain the troops is like, let's all sing the Miss U.S. Paget song. Yeah. And they do. Which is crazy because like, Candace Bergen has agreed to allow Sandra Bullock to fit in.

Starting point is 00:30:12 So maybe teach her the song because she's clearly not singing it. Oh, also, here's how she gets into the page. They say that Miss New Jersey has made a sex tape or porn. Yeah. But like there's a back like a runner-up right? No, no it's just it's it's one or done. Yeah. Yeah. But even at the end of this movie they say the line about should she be unable to fulfill her duties? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wouldn't the people in the pageant world know this? Who the runner-up Miss New Jersey is? Sure. Wouldn't somebody have been like, oh I'm actually from New Jersey and that woman has never been in a page in my entire life? Yeah. Wouldn't someone have done that? Yeah. Yeah, uh, okay, just making sure. Uh, someone says the line Hoochie Mama at some point, but I don't know why. That's very turn of the century as well. We meet Cheryl on the shuttle. thr-Sah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. thate. thathe thathe thatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheat thu. Wouldn't th. th. Wouldn't th. Wouldn't th. Wouldn't th. Wouldn't th. Wouldn't th. Wouldn't th. Wouldn't th. Wouldn't th. Wouldn't th. Wouldn't th. Wouldn't th. Wouldn't th. Wouldn't th. Wouldn't th. Wouldn't th. Wouldn't th. Wouldn't th. Wouldn't th. Wouldn't th. Wouldn't th. Wouldn't th. Wouldn't thin. Wouldn't thin. Wouldn't that. Wouldn't that. Wouldn't that. Wouldn't that. Wouldn't that. W. W. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah was in, You've Got Mail as well.

Starting point is 00:31:06 Another movie that I remembered as being sweet and heartwarming and then upon re-watching it was like, oh. Negging, the movie. Yeah. Are you sure this isn't negging the movie? It is also nagging. I think it's just a time period of neging as like a thing.

Starting point is 00:31:20 Or all rom comes about the ging. To some extent, that castle for Christmas with Brooke Shields and Carioas, he is like, alternating scenes, he'll be extremely like, oh, I'm so into, I think you're great. You have to leave Scotland right now. I think you should stay forever. You have to go away right now. What? Who is horny for this? Yeah. Brooke Shields is horny for that kind of behavior. I just don't thi thi thi thi thi I th. I th. I th. I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, th. I just, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, to to to that, that, that, that, that, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi. Shields apparently. Brooke Shields is horny for that kind of behavior. I just don't, I just, my romcom knowledge is so thin. Yeah, yeah. Well, I suggest getting into a long-term relationship with Missy.

Starting point is 00:31:54 Maybe you will have watched a lot of them by now. I don't get it. It's just a supportive partner. You've got to watch a lot of romcoms. Yeah, no, that's, you're doing a great job. It's her, it's her who is not. It is she, it is missing. I think I'm just made uncomfortable by performative niceness. Sure. When someone does something nice for me, not even perform, it's not right.

Starting point is 00:32:16 Whenever someone does anything nice for me, I'm immediately uncomfortable. Sure. So the idea of it being like a desire, like, like, like, like, thia thia th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I thi, I thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm th a desire is gross to me. There's also this like this arc that all of them have to follow. Okay. You have to like hate each other. You can like each other. And then you start following in love and then something bad happens and you can't be in love anymore. Okay, even though you're still in love in your heart. And they have to connect together, yeah. Your heart doesn't lie. There th. There th. There th. There th. There th. There th. There th. There th. There th. There's th. There's th. There's th. There's th. There's th. There's th. There's th. There's tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi. tho tho tho tho tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the the the the th. the the the th. the the. the the the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theea. thea. to come back together. Yeah. Your heart doesn't lie. There's a movie called Single All the Way.

Starting point is 00:32:47 Oh my God, why didn't, why didn't, why? Which is what inspired Ready to Jingle. Okay. That like is the most perfect following of this. To like, to the point of her, like, I think I actually like this movie.. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. toe. toe. to be. toe. toe. toe. toe. to to to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to. toe. toe. toe. toe. to. to. to. to. to. to like to the point of her like I think I actually like this movie because it follows the formula so precisely well. Wow. It's like a just like it's like a Taylor Swift pop song. I do like tellif pop songs. Yeah. Maybe they'll like a single all the way. I'm probably not going to find out.

Starting point is 00:33:22 Maybe on your birthday this year. No, thank you. Okay. I think they scrubbed the internet of all these movies in the intervening months between Christmases. I agree. So the homophobia gets much less subtle when, uh, I think it's Benjamin Brett calls Michael Kane a fruit cake at one point. It does. Cool movie, cool, cool, cool, cool. I know. And I was like, uh, and Missy, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th, I th, I th, I they, I they, they they, they they, they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, I they, I they, I they, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. I think it's Benjamin Brett calls Michael Kane a fruit cake at one point. He does. Cool movie, cool, cool, cool, cool.

Starting point is 00:33:45 I know. And I was like, uh, and Missy was like, well, I was can't hardly wait. And I was like, I'll write around this time. 98, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, when that's got the, the scene. Oh, someone inatner is the MC for the event. I... Controversial opinion? Yeah. He was so fucking funny in this.

Starting point is 00:34:06 He's really good. Yeah. There's like, the part where something happens and he just goes, oh shit. While he's singing a song and I just laugh really hard at that. He's a very good actor. He's apparently an awful person to of the Star Trek people like him. Really? They all are invited to all of each other's like, you know, family barbecues and kids weddings and all that stuff and like not him. All right. He's never had any of them. That sucks for him to suck.

Starting point is 00:34:35 Uh, I liked, speaking of Sandra Bullock's physical comedy. Yeah, I liked the scenes of them like learning the choreographed dance where she's just like like th. th, like th, like th, like th, like th, like th, like th, like th, like th, like th, like th, like th, like th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi all all all all all all thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, you all thi, you all, you all, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, like, thin, like, like, thin, like, like, like, like, thin, like, like, the the the the thin, thin, thin of them like learning the choreographed dance where she's just like so half-heartedly doing it because I feel like that's exactly how I would look. For sure. I found that relatable. She does say it to a level that I would not where she actually learns the choreography at some point where I would never do that. This is as far as you're getting. This is the most participation I'm going to be doing. And also, like, why is she not in her own room? Why is she sharing a room? I don't know. She's so silly.

Starting point is 00:35:11 I don't know. I can't imagine they have to share rooms in those competitions. Ah, no. Miss Texas. So she has a snort laugh and this is supposed to make her unattractive. It's adorable. It's so delightful. So cute. People having an honest laugh is the greatest thing in the world.

Starting point is 00:35:32 I loved it when she is hiding donuts in her bra. That's very funny to me. It's also shitty that they took them back from her. And then one shoved in her underwear. This is like, this woman just completely loses her agency. Oh for sure. It's awful. Yeah. Yeah. So I just have notes and say tiddy donuts, koochie donut. Coochie donut. She's also talking to Michael Kane about how she has this talent she's been doing since high school she can do it like without even having to thi thi thi thoo th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho the tho tho their tho tho- tho- tho- tho-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-tm-tm-tm-tmo-tm-tm-tm-tha. tho-tm-t. This th. This them them them them them. This them. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi-n. thi-n. thi-n. thi-n. thi, thi, thi. thin. thin. thin. thin. This thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin theeeeauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu thi thi thi thi thi thi thi talking to Michael Kane about how she has this talent she's been doing since

Starting point is 00:36:05 high school she can do it like without even having to think about it or whatever and he goes you are not having sex on the stage and I was like what about her makes you think she's promiscuous? You know? You know? I don't know. Just none of this makes any sense. Oh man, no, she can do the humming thing with her fingers on glass.

Starting point is 00:36:25 It's not that cool. Well, she plays the song later. I was like, I sort of know what this is. Yeah, I don't remember what the song was. And then she picks up a bell and rings it and everyone laughs, and I just didn't because I didn't get it. And then I thought, should I laugh too, like, it's a laugh, I'm like, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, should, like, should, should, should, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,those like comedic things that's on PBS. I was like, oh what is Victor Borgia who plays like the comedic piano things? And you're like, a bunch of old people are laughing.

Starting point is 00:36:54 I'm just like, I don't have any fucking idea what's going on right now. Literally no feelings about this whatsoever. Am I dead inside? I'm today. We see Candace Bergen blow up a mannequin with a crown. She has a bum that's strapped to the crown, which I thought was a great scene. Really liked that. But we don't know it's her yet. No? I don't think the reveals yet, do we?

Starting point is 00:37:20 I think we do. Okay. Well, I haven't written here, but I also knew she was th. do we? I think we do. Okay. Well I have it written here but I also knew she was the bad guy. Yeah, you had to, this is pre-knowledge. Yeah, what this movie presupposes is that you don't know the Candace Bergen is the bad guy. I just assumed it was William Shatner. Why did she tackle a dude? Because, oh, because a guy in the crowd has a gun, yes. Wa, because a thi. the guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy in the guy in the guy in the guy in the guy in the guy in the guy in the guy in the guy in the guy in the guy in the guy in the guy in the guy in the guy in the guy in the guy in the guy in the guy in the guy in the guy in the guy in the guy in the guy in the guy in the guy in the guy in the guy in the guy in the guy in the guy in the guy in the guy. the guy. the guy. the guy. Because a guy. Because a guy. Because a guy. Because a guy. Because a guy. Because a guy. the guy. the guy. the guy. the guy in the guy in the guy in the the the the the the the the th. the the the th. th. the the the the th. the the the too impulsive and she does things the wrong way. So she does it again here where she calls a lot of attention to herself by being like, gone, gone and jumping off the stage. And it's all over the news, it's all over the press. Okay, so she's learned nothing from that previous experience.

Starting point is 00:37:58 Okay. So now they think that, oh there's like a a a a a heart, the the heart, tha, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, that, the, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, to, to, to. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. to. to. th. th. So, the. So now they think that, oh, there's like a heartwarming pool speech. I probably should have written down what that was. Heartwarming pool speech. Her and Benjamin Bratt are in the pool. Oh, he says like one nice thing to her. Yeah, heartwarming pool speech. And then she's like, you want to kiss me. And it's like, you don't want to kiss him? He fucking blows. He's the worst. No matter how hot he is. And also, when I don't want to kiss somebody for the first time, is when they go, you want to kiss me as a fucking adult. Your lips just get sucked back behind your teeth, and you're like, I guess that's as far as that's it. Sorry, I'm a mummy. I'm turning into the dustst dust dust dust dust dust dust dust dust dust dust dust dust dust dust dust dust dust dust dust dust dust dust dust dust dust dust dust dust dust dust dust dust the dust the dust the dust the dust the dust the dust to to to to to to to the dust Sorry I'm a mummy have to go. I'm turning into the dust of Sharon Stone's mouth and also a ghost

Starting point is 00:38:50 fuck. So miss they figure out that Miss Rhode Island is an animal rights activist who's part of a radical animal rights group. Yes, which are not notoriously like violent? Animal rights groups?'s part of a radical animal rights group. Yes, which are notoriously like Violent animal rights groups sure. Yeah always blowing everything up. She there's no Resolution to this is she or is she not? I don't know this because it comes up later when they're in having the drinking scene. Yeah, and she's talking about times that she's committed crimes. And she's like, oh, I stole a pair of underwear. And I got sexually assaulted. OK. This scene. Yeah, we'll have to get rid of that.

Starting point is 00:39:34 But like, she does not mention being a radical animal rights activist. No. No. No. I don't think so. I don't think. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't th, I don't thi I don't thi I don't thi I don't thi. I don't thi. I don't thi. I don't thi. I don't thi. I don't thi. I don't th, I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't think. I don't th. I don't. I don't know. I don't. I don't. I don't know. I don't. I don't. I th. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't.think so. I don't buy it. But it's never addressed again. It just drops gone forever. She doesn't even like give anybody shit for eating meat at any point. No. And if you've been around animal rights activists being a former vegan, we're a pain in the ass. Although I do think animal testing should stop. Oh for sure. It's stupid. Yeah. that for sure. Katie, what's your perfect date? April 25th? Not too hot and not too cold. All you need is a light jacket. Classic line. Classic line. It's delivered so well. I really like that actor who's funny Cheryl.

Starting point is 00:40:18 I just find her adorable. Just like her affect is very, very good. For sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like Sandra Bullock's answer of, because it's too hard to fit oil and petrochemical refinery state on a license plate. It's delivered so beautifully. She's so fucking funny. When she has to be snarky, it's so good. Yeah, because she's really, you can tell she's a witty person. Like, you can tel tel tel tel tel, tel, tel, tel, tel, tel, the, tel, tel, the, tel, the, the, tel, the, the, the, the, the, the, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to be snarky, it's so good. Yeah, because she's really, you can tell she's a witty person, like you can tell...

Starting point is 00:40:49 Oh yeah. But, but, fucking Gracie is not a witty person. No. No. No. No. No, that's all. So, in order to find out if she is indeed the animal rights activist who is going to bomb the pageant, Sandra Bullitt gets his idea to take the ladies out clubbing pizza and beer.

Starting point is 00:41:11 Which makes no sense because there are no animals involved in this show. She has no reason. But she's going to break down. Oh, why she would be doing their pageant? Why would she attack this pageant? Who knows? And all we've learned, we've learned that she that she that she that she that she has that she has that she has that she has that she has that she has that she has that she has that she has that she has then then then then then then thi has thi? And we've learned that she has this backstory of her parents don't like anything ostentatious and they really don't like fire, which I also that was kind of funny. It's the most ostentatious of the elements. She's really the only one who has any kind of arc? Sure. Yeah. No one else changes. Why would they? Why be better when you can just be like this? I would be the same. But it turns out that the ladies do and look indeed love both beer and pizza.

Starting point is 00:41:55 I was like, oh, maybe I could be in a beauty page. I too love beer and pizza. Did it seem like they ordered that pizza to the club? Because they're eating pizza and the club is like a crowded club with neon paint splatter guns and stuff. Well first she brings pizza to the to the gym to the gym and the hotel gym and tons them all with it yeah and then they can't they can't resist even though it's like pizza hudde it looks like it looks like they fucking pizza and the in that box, which is bleak as fuck. Is it Dejorno or is it delivery? It's absolutely Desjorno. There's no one has ever been full by this.

Starting point is 00:42:27 Hondo Dejorno. No one has ever been that high. Because you had to turn the oven on at some point. Oh, maybe I should turn it off. And there aren't paint guns, there's drums covered in paint. That's right. They look like they're having a nice time even though it looks like a fucking nightmare. It's like someone's like, what's a rave?

Starting point is 00:42:54 I don't know, like neon paint and pizza? I don't go to clubs if they had pizza, I think. That's not sure. I guess Spirit has pizza, I don't really go there. We have been there? We have been there. We have been there. We have been there. We changed the course of two friends' lives there. Oh, so beautiful. I mean, in our defense, you're the one who did that. Well, I wouldn't have done it if you hadn't said he was nice. Okay. If you had said, I don't know about him. th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. We're th. We've to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. We th. We to to to to to th. We to th. We th. We th. We th. We th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. We're th. th. We're th. the. We're the. the. the. to to to theea. We've changed. We've changed. theea. We've changed. We've changed. the. We've changed. We've changed. We've it. We did it. Where a family with matchmaking, get in touch. Yeah, we're doing, we're one for one. We're actually going to get out of the game with a perfect record. We should probably stop here. So there's this great segue where they're talking about something and Sandy Bullock just goes, speaking of illegal. Yeah, right. And this is where we find out that she is, that, what, what, what, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, th, th, that, that, th, that, we, th, we, we, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're th, we're, we're th, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're th, we're th, we're th, we're th, we're th, we're th, we're th, we're th, we're th, we're th, we're th, th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. the. thi. thi. thi. We're th. thi. th. of illegal. Yeah, right. And this is where we find out that she is, that, what is it, Cheryl, has stolen some red panties.

Starting point is 00:43:51 Satan's panties. It's very cute. Because they were all stentagous. And then this is a very upsetting scene where she describes being sexually assaulted by a professor. And Sandra Bullo looks like like no it doesn't and you're like yes it fucking does that's a shitty line and it's also this implication that like because she's like I'll teach you to defend yourself yeah like so if

Starting point is 00:44:16 you know not to defend yourself it wouldn't have huck off with that yeah that's really upsetting yeah yeah yeah but I guess I shouldn't be taken be tf. to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the to be the to be the th. th. th. th. th. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. I th. I th. F. F. F. F. th. th. th. th. F. th. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi. thi. thi. th. the th. thi. the thi. thi's thi's thi. thi. thi. thi. to me. But I guess I shouldn't be taking my cues from this film. For sure. But I'm just amazed that every woman on the set wasn't just like, it does happen all the fucking time. And like I don't know if that's supposed to, maybe it's like supposed to look bad on Grace for thinking that because she has such a disdain for other women's experience, seemingly. Yeah, I think a better line would have just been like it shouldn't. Right. It. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's like. I. I. It's like, that we. I, that we that. I, that. I that. But, I'm just just. But, I'm just that. But, I'm just that. But that. But that. But that. But that. But that. But that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I th. I'm just just just just just just just just that. I'm just just just th. I'm just, th. I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, th. th. that's, I'm just, that's. that. she has such a disdain for other women's experience, seemingly. Yeah, I think a better line would have just been like, it shouldn't. We can stop that. Right. Or, you know, something. Like, yeah, it was just very poorly handled. It's also, just like, how does she feel about other women at the beginning of this movie? Not a fan. Not a fan. So, I don't know. And it's also when she's talking to Michael Kane he's like riding her about something and she's like you have no idea why I am the way I am. Right. And you're

Starting point is 00:45:11 like I don't either movie and I don't think you're gonna tell me. Can I know? They don't. You never find out. The only thing you see of her pass is her punching a boy and another boy getting mad so she punches him too. And I feel like she could have been nominated class president at that point. It's just the movie is so disinterested in like any sort of arc for her. Right. Yeah, that's all. Yeah. Or as you said, or anybody, yeah.

Starting point is 00:45:43 So the Feds catch the citizen and they're like, we're done though. And she, with her expert federal agent senses, it's just like, we're not done. Something's going on here. I'm going to get to the bottom of it. I don't care if you're at the top. And she starts working, and Benjamin Bratt won't back her up. He's a bad friend. Brows her under the bus. And someone's a bad friend, they're going to be a worse lover.

Starting point is 00:46:09 Just put it out there in the world. But then he has a change of heart and him and Michael Kane come back to help her? Yeah he kicks, yeah, he kicks Michael Kane out. Yeah, he kicks, yeah. he ki Michael Kna out. And then when Benjamin Brad comes back, he's like, I've never not believed in you. And it's like, fuck you, fuck you. Fuck you, I saw the first two acts of this film. So, and she has turned in her badge and gun at this point. She is no longer a federal agent. Right, she's there as a private citizen according to Ernie Hudson. And that's the last time we see him. I'm off Chicago! What was Dickory's character's name?

Starting point is 00:46:50 Huckama Homoca. A name I think about in the middle of the night. Just wake up in the middle of the night. Where are you from? South Africa. Bulgaria. Anywhere could be anywhere. So Candace Bergen is the mad bomber and her creepy kid is in on it.

Starting point is 00:47:12 Which also implies that the FBI did literally no research. All he did was change his last name. Okay. Yeah. I was just watching a British crime show where that also happened. The guy just changed his last name and were like, I don't know who he is. You never seen him before in my life. And also, that means they didn't interview Michael Kane at all, because at the end of this

Starting point is 00:47:35 movie he fills in all the gaps. And it's like, why didn't Benjamin Bratt sit him down and talk to him since he's working for the FBI and knows everything about pageant world. Yeah. It's insane. Homophobia. That was the thing to get them from tongue. No, no, didn't want it to rip off on them. Yeah, exactly. Fair, fair, fair, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:47:53 So the late, Vic's not going to help her anymore. So the ladies have to have to, Vic is not a nice thing about this movie. thiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. That's, th. That's, th. That's, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's, didn't, didn such a nice little scene. So great. The nice, a nice thing about this movie is that there's not a lot of like cat fights as comedy. For sure. I think it's nice that they're all very supportive of each other. I agree. Yeah. Would like to have seen much more of that. Yeah. There's a point where Michael Kane earlier in the movie had put, I don't know what you call them, they were like the like, look like silicone boob things. Oh, chicken, chicken cutlets. Chicken cutlets? Yeah. That's what they call them? Weird, because they look like chicken cutlets. Well, what she turns around after they do the makeup, she's like, I forgot my breast. Yeah, she's funny. And we see that she's got the choreography down, she's doing it with everybody. Eh, to some extent. This is where she falls down.

Starting point is 00:48:53 Oh, that's when William Shatter goes, oh shit. It's so funny. It's so perfect, it's so William Shatter. No one else could have jol- Oh, shit. Yeah. I think he was like singing the beauty and smiling song. But doing it in that like William Shatter doesn't actually say he just talks his way through lyrics. Lightly changing his tone.

Starting point is 00:49:10 Yeah. So we see Cheryl go out on stage to do her talent. And she does Sandra Bullock thrusts. Flamed batons. Which like one you probably should have practiced with because there's no way you'd like be okay doing sure yeah but two it's cool because she's like grown into herself she's got confidence she can break away from her parents what and they align is delivered that I think we should use to support each other now you can wear Satan's panties yeah that's nice now you can wear Satan's panties. You can wear Satan's panties. Yeah, that's nice. Now you can wear Satan's panties.

Starting point is 00:49:45 You can wear Satan's panties. And she's going to get her talent and all the pageant attendees are drinking the water glasses that she has. Oh yeah. She says somebody drank my talent. Yeah. Which is funny. But also like, all these glasses filled to different levels

Starting point is 00:50:05 sitting on this table, like they all saw her perform this at the pre-lens. Yeah. And for some reason, she's wearing like a little Bavarian waitress outfit, like she works at Hofbra house. She looks like Hoffbra slash Chun Lee with like the hair buttons. It's very funny. Oh, it sucks.

Starting point is 00:50:26 So she improvises and does a self-defense demonstration. Right, this is after Benjamin Brad has come back and been like, I've never not believed in everything about you and I've always supported you. I've always loved you. Fuck off. So she punches him in the nose, which is great. So this is what we learn about Singh. Yeah. Solarplexes in step, nose, croin.

Starting point is 00:50:47 I like that a lot. And I will give the self-defense advice I give every time it comes up that I got from a self-defense class. Put your fingers in their eyeballs. Yeah. And just start pushing. Just start pushing and or pulling, how far you get them in. Yeah, fingers in their eyeballs. You can't be nice. You can't be afraid that you're misunderstanding the situation. Put your fingers in their eyeballs. Yeah. It's great advice. Yeah. If you're going to take advice from us, let that be it.

Starting point is 00:51:15 I hope so. A whole cloth. That's it. So we get the... I stand by the shoot me, the me, mother fucker. Where if like I'm someone's someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, you, you, you, you, you, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th. th, th, th, th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. the. the. thin, the. the. the. the. the. thi. the. the. thi. thi. thi., but okay. Shoot me, moth-a-foo. Where if like, someone's trying to force you into a van, at that point, you'd be like, no, shoot me then, fucking shoot me, do it. You won't. Hopefully. I'm willing to take that risk. I'm not getting to that van. the van. . I'm not, I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. then. I. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tod. th. tho. the. the. the. the. the. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. the. the. tttttthe. tthe. the. the. the. the. the. the. tod. tod. tod. to. to. to. to. to. to.....................................................................'s gonna happen to you in the van is probably worse than getting shot.

Starting point is 00:51:46 It's true, it's take the bullet. Take the bullet. Wherewith ambulance ambulance, just take the bullet. So we get the one lady who when she is not chosen for the final five, she gets on the mic and she's like, this is for all the lesbians out their.......... I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that you, that you, that you, th. th. that's, that's, that's, that's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's. that's. that's. that's. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. tha. tha. too. too. t. t. She gets on the mic and she's like this is for all the lesbians out there I prove that you can do it. Yeah. I love you Tiffany. I love you Tiffany. I love you too. I was like oh that's really sweet. It is really sweet. I couldn't I didn't want it to be a joke I didn't want it to be like a punchline. That's what was the bummer is that it was a punchline. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was a that it was a that it was a that it was a that it was a that it was a that it was a that it was a that it was a that it was a that it was a that it was a that it was a that it was a that it was a that it was a that it was a that it was a that it was a that it was a that it was a that it was a that it was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was a that it was a that it was a that it was a that it was a that it was a that it was a that it was a that it was a that it was a that it was a that it was a th. I. I. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a up with a guy going, can you say lesbian on TV? And a lady next to him, I'm just like, do you have a problem with that?

Starting point is 00:52:28 Yeah. And I was like, oh, even that's a joke? Even that's a joke. Even that's played for funny. Right. Rather than being like, actually, you're being a thii. I love Kelly Beth Kelly. And if I ever have to check into a hotel room under a fake name, it's going to be Kelly Beth Kelly. I'm obsessed with Kelly Beth Kelly.

Starting point is 00:52:51 Meanwhile, Frank is the son, Candace Bergen's son. He's just in the back, like, jerking it to the crown basically. I don't know what's happening here. He takes it to get cleaned. Well, he has to swap the crown out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the th. Yeah. Yeah. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the th. the th. the th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. te. to. te. te. te. te. the the te. the the the the the the. the the crown basically. I don't know what's happening here. He takes it to get clean. Well he has to swap the crown out. Yeah. But the explosive crown in. You think he ever jerks it to the crown? Of course. You think Candaceburg never does? Both the crown that he's holding and the Netflix TV show about people enjoying monarchy. Don't either. Why are we interested in them? No. First of all, it's not even us. We quit that shit. The only time I'm proud to be an American is when I talk about the Revolutionary War. You just refuse to pay our fucking taxes. No, fuck you!

Starting point is 00:53:42 No, fuck you! Our most raging against the machine moment as a country. Yes. Until what now? Yeah, well in a different way. We've just this, we're on the other side of the rage against the machine table now. So Rhode Island wins. Yeah, I have a hard time believing that too, but okay. It's fine.

Starting point is 00:54:03 Fine. Why do I have the note her struggling is funny? Um, because she runs to take the crown off of Cheryl's head, and everyone just thinks she's gone insane with jealousy. Yeah. And so she's like struggling to get away from like a security guard. Which is also insane because we've just seen her beat the shit out of Benjamin Brat. But she eventually does. Get some on the crown the crown the crown the crown the crown the crown the crown the crown the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. thuice. thuice. thu. thu. th. to to to th. to to to the. the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. thruge. thrugg. thru. thrug. thr-s. thrug. thr-s. thrug. thrugg. toe. th, gets him on the in-step. She throws the crown. Yeah, after all of the other girls descend on her though and she ends up punching Miss Texas in the face, which I kind of liked because it was like they were like no get the fuck off her, that's her crown. Yeah. And Miss Texas has been sort of the adversary. Yeah, and miss texex, the the the tex, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, their th, their th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thr, thr, thrown, tho, tho, thrown, tho, tho, their, tho, tho, tho, the other tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the tho, tho, the the tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, thrown, thrown, thrown, thrown, tho, thrown, tho, tho, thro, thro. after thro. after thro. thrown, after tho, after tho, out this entire thing. Yeah. But like low grade. Very little. I mean, when that's time to put on the makeup, she's like,

Starting point is 00:54:47 ooh, here we go and helps her put on the makeup. So. Yeah, I think that's post going to the club and they've become buddies, yeah. You're right about that. So she throws the crown and it blows up blows throws up blows throws up blows throves the lady throves throlows throlows up the lady lady lady lady lady lady lady lady lady lady lady lady lady lady lady lady lady lady lady. which is now just burning? That's really fucking funny. And I believe William Shatner has been singing the Miss United States on the entire time all this shit has been happening. He has been. He has been. It's so good. And then her and Budgeman brought are going to make out?

Starting point is 00:55:17 Well, she says you were arrest Candace Bergen, who makes a joke about like, because so Sandra Bullock is a, this is the insane part, one of the insane parts of this movie. Sandra Bulk is no longer with the FBI. Right. Candace Bergen does not kick her out of that pageant. She lets her compete. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:55:32 Yeah, well, she said, she said, like, in prove, self-defense. I guess. Yeah. What? She did really good. She did like improv self-defense. It was pretty good. Which would probably also have gotten her disqualified, but anyway. Right, because nobody else brought out someone to help them with her. A prop. And then Candace Bergen makes a Dennis Rodman joke that I really didn't like either. Where she's like, you've like, Dennis Rodman. then years? Nobody had any fucking idea what you were talking about?

Starting point is 00:56:08 I bet people who have never seen this movie before, but the first time now, I bet a lot of them. Don't know who Dennis Rodman is. Yeah, at best they're gonna be like, that guy that keeps going to North Korea? See, I forgot about that. See, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I that, I that, I that, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th. I th. I thi, I thi, I thi, I than, than, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thu, thu, th f fa, th f fa, th, th f f f f f f fa, th f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f fa, th f f f f fa, th th th th th th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. toooooooooooooo-a''a'a'a'a'a'a'a, thu-a, thu, than them. Oh, that sucks. I was about to say what's he up to these days. Oh, hanging out in North Korea with Kim Jong-un. That is not great. But yeah, so she makes that with Benjamin Brat. And you're like, what? Don't? He's a bad guy.

Starting point is 00:56:36 This is a bad choice. He, you just came second in a beauty pageant. You should first of all collect $10 as you do a monopoly. And then you should go fuck someone who hasn't been treating you like shit. You think I'm gorgeous. You wanna date me and marry me. Oh, God. Sucks. It sucks.

Starting point is 00:57:01 He learns nothing. No, he doesn't. He learns that being a dick wins. Yes. So, Benjamin Bratt would have been a men's rights activist in 2021. Yeah. This character, not Benjamin Brat. Sorry. No, he's probably okay. He's probably fine. I don't know. As she's leaving the hotel, Vic grabs her and brings her back inside under some false pretenses. Right. Because she's being crowned Miss Congeniality.

Starting point is 00:57:30 She gives his speech. Oh no, the speech that she gives the first time is when she's asked the question, what do you say to people who think pageants are unfeminist? And she's like, I used to be one of them, but then I met these girls and now I know pageants are good. And you're like, are they though? Women do not equal. Women are not the, these, this, no. It's a lot.

Starting point is 00:57:55 And then she gives another speech about how she cries now because she's a woman. And she is clearly using hair moose. And she really wants world woman. Yeah. And she is clearly using hair moose. And she really wants world peace. Yeah. They don't get the joke. I didn't like that running world peace gag, but it's fine. Nobody laughs at it when she says it though, which is kind of a bummer. Because it's meant to be a joke.

Starting point is 00:58:19 Katie. Alan. You got a rape miscongeniality. Definitely not what I remember. No. Definitely does not hold up to modern day scrutiny. Yeah. It was fun though. I had a fun time. I mean, a lot of it's horrible and the characters are bad, and no one has an arc, but it's fun.

Starting point is 00:58:38 Yeah, what are you gonna give it? Six and a half. Whoa! I watched it with Rob and he cackled through most of it. I'm gonna give this movie a six, but there's a caveat. What's that? Three points are for Sandra Bullock,

Starting point is 00:58:52 three points are from Michael Kane. Nobody else gets anything. What about the woman playing Cheryl? She's too late. I've already had my caveat. The Stone has been set. It's fine. It was very enjoyable from not being an actual movie. For not having a real storyline.

Starting point is 00:59:11 For not having like a beginning, middle, or end. I feel like any part could have been the beginning, middle, or end, and it would have still worked as whatever it is. That reminds me that I read a thing on Twitter about those Christmas love story movies. The concept was doing it backwards where this girl just leaves her rural town to go to New York and become a lawyer and wear good high heels and I thought that was very funny. That would be a very good movie. Yeah, doing it in reverse. Maybe ready to jingle will be that.

Starting point is 00:59:43 There you go. The keys to her new apartment are what's jingling. I think copyright, copyright, we're all famulums. She's fallen in love with herself. Oh, wait, does she fuck a ghost though? Oh yeah, for sure. That's all she does. Yeah. Could she fuck like a historic ghost? Sure, who would you, who would you like to cast on a sabe? Tell me you wouldn't fuck Abraham Lincoln. Tell me you wouldn't fuck Abraham Lincoln. I wouldn't fuck Abraham Lincoln. Pre-war Abraham Lincoln you

Starting point is 01:00:12 might. Not my type. Like I'm thick. Fair. I don't know. Katie. Yeah. Can I read your message from a patrol? Please do. This is from David O. Hi David O. says, hi Katie and Alan. My name is David O. and I just became a Patron. I love wherewove ambulance and my main goal in life is to have you read this message on your podcast.

Starting point is 01:00:43 Okay, get a better goal because we'll do basically anything. Thank you so much for the great podcast. I absolutely love listening and like other Patrions have expressed to you. Your podcast helps me more than I ever expected a podcast could. Thanks. Thank you, David O. That hits me deep. Yeah, that's really, thank you. It's really beautiful. I'm glad we can do something for someone somewhere. Right? Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Because we're doing this for ourselves for each other.

Starting point is 01:01:12 Yeah. And yeah, we're glad that you guys are along for the ride. It's beautiful. Thanks for coming. Thanks for supporting us. Maybe it's because we do it for mutual love that like we send that out into the world. Yeah, I because we're just not trying that hard really. We're trying exactly how hard we want to be. I mean we have no ads. There's a reason. No one has the time to do this. No one no one cares enough to do it, really. Us not them, obviously. I will say like look after each other, take care of each other this time a year, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, like, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, after each other, take care of each other this time of year.

Starting point is 01:01:45 And all year long. All year long. I mean, it's a weird time to be alive right now. As my shirt says, the world is a fuck. Could you like quickly describe your shirt? Okay, so I'm wearing this t-shirt. It's got Garfield and John and John the shirtless. John is shirtless in the cartoon. It says, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, and thi, thi, thi, and thi, th. And, th. And, th. And, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, and th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, thi. And, like, thi. And, like, like, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thifield comic, but their heads are swapped. And John is shirtless. Jonah shirtle, he's often charteless in the cartoon.

Starting point is 01:02:06 It says, born to die, world as a fuck, kill them all, 1989, I am a trash man, a very long number, and the word's dead cops. Doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any sense. I love it so much. out to me. I'd love to know what Justin Gray is looking at on the internet to get this as an ad. Also it's traffic cone orange. Oh yeah. And it's a long sleeve so it's even more orange. If you like t-shirts at T-Public.com but you can also get our t-shirts at T-Public.com. For sure. Use your backslash. General Sco. General Sco. tflucc. Yeah. Other shirts. that shirts that shirts that shirts that shirts that shirts that shirts that shirts that shirts that shirts that shirts that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their t. their t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t.s. t- close enough Luccio, other shirts that will confuse people. Yeah. And if you want to support us, you can get on Patreon.com back-sashwerel of ambulance

Starting point is 01:02:53 and support us there. You get action movies, you get all kinds of stuff, you get a kids club card. But you don't have to, because we're going to keep doing this. Yeah. It's fine if you don't want to. care. But in the meantime, yeah. Thank you for the list. Oh, no, wait. What are we doing next week? Next week we're doing an Allen suggestion, which I'm surprised about because this is a child. I think that's why I picked it. Oh, thanks.

Starting point is 01:03:15 I did love this movie as a child. We're doing West Craven's New Nightmare, a film, th. not have loved as a child. A film that I want to talk to the trailer about. We could get into it. All right. Next week. Yeah. So come back for West Craven. It's on HBO Max and it's on other stuff that you got to pay money for besides streaming stuff. You find it. You guys know where to get a movie. Yeah, you guys know how to get in your car, get to the red box. Outside the get go. The one by the cricket the cricket the cricket the cricket the cricket the cricket the cricket the cricket the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. in your car, get to the red box, outside the get-go, the one by the crickets got the best new movies. One by the cricket? Yeah. Once I was at the cricket until 2 a.m. and I went to the get-go to get sandwiches, I think this might have been my cousin, Vickie's

Starting point is 01:03:56 bachelorette party. Okay. We went to the get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get the the get the get the get, the get, the get, the get, the get, the get, the get, the get, to get, the get, to get cicket, the get cicket, the the the the to get cicket-aqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq, the cri, the cri, the cri, the cri, the cri, the cri, the cri, the cri, the cri, the cri, the cri, the cri, to, to, to, to, to get, to, to get, the ck, the ck, the ck, the ck, the ck,a,a,a,a,a,a,a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.k.k.k.k.k.k.k.k.k, the ck, the ck, the dancers came in and got sandwiches too. Oh, nice. Did you act like you knew each other? I averted my eyes. I was just too drunk. I was like the level of drunk where you shouldn't look anybody in the eye because they might know. And you probably can't, even if you try it. I just want to get this egg sandwich in my face. Thanks for listening to another episode of Warulf Ambulance. Bye. Empty. Every time. The Axe and I did pools, Savini's sighting at the pool.

Starting point is 01:04:47 No way to make Finland's to fulfill reviews. Get the clouds and levy face. Can't live in his face. A few times I cast in case. Please make I continue to break. EFT. A road and comedy reviews hungry, Brian, from wings and Stephen Gang. E&T.

Starting point is 01:05:16 We live deliciously bad temple trees of bees, crazy con today. A pair of elective TVs from Mr. Padresseeked city. He can't do that in A paranormal act of duties from Mr. Rogers City, END, END, END.

Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 361- Miss Congeniality (2000)

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