Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 370- Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

Episode Date: March 7, 2022

In this week's episode, we're discussing the brand new Netflix film "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" which is...interesting. Also, we open this episode by having a lil snack so if the sound of people eating bothers you, please be prepared to skip ahead. Okay, onto the special topics for your consideration! They are: more plot holes than Leatherface's mask, a veritable smorgasbord of musical jokes, Stockard Channing cosplay, financial irregularities, and finally solving the riddle of "how many horror movies must one see in order to make one's own horror movie?" We'll probably never cover the original because it's too excellent, but you can hear some episodes from the rest of the franchise: Episode 58- "Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2" and Episode 145- "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" (colloquially known as "the Jessica Biel one.") Find us online: Support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance where you can hear us discuss an action movie (or almost at least usually an action movie) in our monthly bonus episodes Buy merch for yourself or those you love at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance on Twitter @werebulance on Instagram @werewolfambulance. [e-mail] If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow. Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down. 

Hi Alan. Hi, Katie. How are you? I'm well in yourself. Oh, fine. Excellent. Excellent. Excellent. Excellent. Welcome to another episode of Wherewulf Ambulance. Welcome to another episode of Whewulf Ambulance, the podcast that you co-host with me. I thank you so much for welcoming me. to. you've justed. to. the toub. to the the their helm. W. to you've just remarked. the th. the the the the the the you. the the the the the the the the the the th. the the th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. the the th. the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the th. the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've. I've. I've. I've. to. to. to. to. to. th. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. I've. I've. to another episode of Whe Wolf Ambulance, the podcast that you co-host with me. Thank you so much for welcoming me to your home, which you've just remarked upon that I should stop being afraid of the attic because I've been coming up the stairs for eight years. It's scary up here. Katie. Alan. Can we do something we haven't done in a long time? Okay. I'm going to say to listeners who don't want to hear us eat food? Yeah food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food food. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to say to listeners who don't want to hear us eat food. Yeah. Skip ahead, five minutes. Oh what am I getting to eat? Am I getting a treat? A target bat. Katie, we're doing a little taste test. Okay. What do you have there? I have the five fun designs of the Oreo hop Easter collection. Call it by its right name, which is on the side there? Orio. Hippity? the the the the the thipipipipipipipipipip. the five fun designs of the Oreo hop Easter collection.

Call it by its right name, which is on the side there, Oreo hippity-hop. My favorite kind of music, hippity-hoppity. And we have the carrot cake Oreo, which I can only imagine is going to be disgusting. Yes, I like that you're doing Italian manhands about disgusting. This is wonderful. Thank you so much. I needed this pick me up. Wait, what flavor is hippity hop? Uh, I assume hip hop? Okay, let's try that one first.

You want to do that one first? Because I feel like the carrot cake's going to ruin me. Okay. All right. I just think it's just green. I think it might be green flavored. Okay. I should probably take one myself. I would think so. All right. All right. Yeah it's piquant. that's the touc. the ta. thi. the th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the bouq. tou. the bouquet. tou. tou. the bouquet. theult? No, pecan't. Pecan't pie. It's got notes of cigar smoke. Target. Target. Desperation.

Depression. Depression, let's do it. That's an Oreo. It's just a plain old Oreo, ma'am. It's just a plain old Oreo, you can't go wrong. No, you can't, can't you? Just made green, you know, with a color of hip-hop. Is this Easter themed? Oh, I didn't even look at my design.

Either I just crammed it in my fucking wall. Me too. I can't actually show. It looks like an egg, I think. Yeah, mine just has what bag to test later. Sorry about you guys. Mmm. Okay.

You know, I know I've said this before. Yeah. I'll say it again. The thing that's best about an Oreo. The cookie's not that's not that sweet. Right, right. The cream is overly sweet and think to make them at home. I have made them at home. Have you now? Yeah, they're very fun. Come with it now. Dada da da da da da da da da da. Carricake. And you chew when they told you.

Lock it up we're done. All right. All right carrot cake. Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh man. Oh man. Are they double stuff? I don't know. I think they're just single stuffed. Wow, okay. They put my cookie on backwards. That's shit quality assurance.

Okay. It smells like Halloween and farts. It's, there's like a Yankee candle store. Yeah. Mixed with like candy corn. I thi that's th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, tha, tha, tha, are tha, are tha' tha' tha' tha' they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they's they's they's they's they's they's they store, mixed with like candy corn. I think that's just the overly sweet. Yeah. Mixed with farmedhyde.

Yeah. All right, let's see. Here you go. Here you go. It's exactly what I expected. It gets weirder. Yeah. Oh, I'm really going to enjoy leaving these on the counter at work.

Here you go, Barb. You know, I don't hate it. But I don't like it. Uh-uh. It kind of tastes like glue. There's a very chemical use. I feel like mine's double stuff. Look at that. That's too much stuff.

Is it supposed to be cream cheese? It is. It's cream cheese frosting. But then it says underneath flavor cream artificially flavored. Good thing you got the family size. I was the only option I had. Poor family. There's actually no dairy in this for something that has that is cream cheese based.

That's the beautiful thing about Oreos. They're vegan. Yeah. Mm-hmm. They're a snack for everyone. Yeah. I just feel like if you're going to call something. It should probably have dairy.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That aftertaste these things have. Gonna need a little wooder. Yeah, I was thinking about eating a regular Oreo to clean it up, but fine. Well, thank you for that. That was very fun. It's been too long. It has been too long. It was like a couple people were like, oh it bothers me when you eat and we're like like, th, th, th, th, oh, th, oh, oh, oh, oh, th th th th th th th th thi, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, thi, oh, oh, thi, thi, thi, oh, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I'll the thi, I the the the the the the the th, I I th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi, the thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, th, th, th, th you eat and we were like, okay, I'll never do it again. Well, sorry. Well, look at everything. We're having Oreos together. Yeah. I also like that our friendship is at the point where we just talk with our mouths fool

at each other, which is great because we're also doing it to thousands of people. Anyway, we are a goddame treat for these people. We are, we're the hippity-a-hop- rest of the podcasting world's carrot cake Oreo. The other 30 million podcasts that exist. I heard that Duolipa is getting a podcast. The fuck. And I was like, come on, Duolipa, stay in your fucking laii stay in your fucking lane. Seriously, let us have something. Remember when podcasts were her nerds? Yeah, yeah. They're for dualipas. I don't even know, I don't even know how to share a world. Beautiful songstress, just go mind your own business. Stupid, talented, beautiful woman. God damn it! Okay, Texas chains on massacre 2022. 22!

Ah, well... Thank you, Cameron for, uh, to give us a heads up about this movie. Yeah, basically that the school shooting bit is handled pretty flippantly and Cameron thought that might upset me as a mother and I just want to say I really appreciate that. Yeah, that's really nice. Yeah, my kids been doing active shooter drills since she was born, so that's cool. That is a really weird thing for midwifery. Yeah, yeah. Duck a cover.

Duck and cover. I was like, cut the cord first. Ow! But thank you, camera. That was really nice. Yeah. It's emails like that that, we're the nicest people in the world. That's...

Do you try to not true? But okay. My first note for this movie? Yeah. Yeah. I wrote, I just feel like this is going to be dumb. Yeah. Yeah.

What oppression thought. So I did not expect a sequel, I guess. Sure. And we talked about it being much like Halloween 2018, which, holy fuck. A little bit. They seriously watch the movie and they're like, oh, we could do that. But just for like a little bit of the movie, not the whole thing. Bizarrely. So this is a contemporary, a modern contemporary look at Leatherface. So let me just, let me hit you with something.

Alan, what this movie presupposes is that Leatherface has been chilling in an orphanage with a bunch of kids on the main street of a town for 50 years. Uh-huh. Okay. And also our serial killer is... on the main street of a town for 50 years. Okay. And also our serial killer is 70-ish? Yeah, yeah, he's got to be. How old did you imagine Leatherface to be in the original film? See, this is where you get into the weirdness because he was based on Ed Gein?

Yeah, who was an older guy. Yeah, he was at least in his 40s. Sure. But then so was Anthony Perkins and Psycho, and he is a young guy. So I'm gonna say Leatherface by 25, 30. Yeah, he's had a physical prime. Yeah, oh, for sure.

I'm gonna say Leatherface is 26. Oh, physical prime? 47 years old then. Oh, well as one, you know, as present company is evidenced. I absolutely love the composite picture of Leatherface that they show on the like crime TV broadcast. So fucking funny. It just looks like every one of those like plushy leather face pillows that you see in like a Halloween story. Yep. Oh, that's what it did it. That was the murder of the plushy, leather face pillow. I do like the idea of Texas Chancel Masker as fodder for true crime heads. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, as it would be. As it absolutely would be. Did you like that when they said, when the, I think he's like the convenience store guy, maybe, tells the girl that Sally is a Texas Ranger, I wrote, huh, American League?

And then was like, you fucking dumb bitch. Did you like that I got excited that John Laricate was doing the voiceover for this much like he did the original Texas Chancel Masquer? How did I miss that? I don't think it's announced it's that I think it was just like it was making the rounds on the interwibs. It's just funny that it's John Larraquet ever. Is the guy working at the this is going to be a deep fucking cut but I think you might know. Okay. The guy working the counter in the convenience store? Yeah. Is that the painter from the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tie.oooooooonsoons. tea. tea. tea. tea. tean. tean. tean. the. the. the. the the the the the the UNRWA episode of X-Files. Let me check. Do you remember that episode? That painter with the eyes that move really fast? He was like a house painter?

Yes, yes, I do. Yes, I do. And they all go after Scully. Why wouldn't you be a beautiful lady? Beautiful lady. You're a fucking maniac, why wouldn't you think? I don't know. I don't know. It does not appear that it was this guy. Okay, but just the guy of similar similar, similar build. Apparently John Lerickett also did the voiceover for the 2003 remake? Was that the only thing? That was the Jessica Beal one, wasn't it? We did that. Yes. Yeah. That one that I saw a lot of people being like, the only good sequel to this movie is

the Jessica Peele remake. And I was just like, what? That is fucking revisionist history because that movie is trash. It is trash. It is trash. Also, I didn't realize that this movie was, I didn't realize the a 2017 film called Leatherface? Are you aware of this? Did you watch it? No. I don't know anything about it. I'm okay, I don't need to see that.

But you saw this. I did see that for the podcast. For the podcast. For the podcast. Oh boy. Oh boy, Pruitt Taylor looking at the wrong person. It could well be him. Let's see. What does Pruitt Taylor Vince done recently? Who no, no, woo, woo, woo. Not this! Not in this movie, not Pro teler Vince.

All right. Sorry. No, it's fine. So, tell me about what's happening. Can you explain to me the world's stupidest premise for a film? Um, that a lady and a man are buying a town. A buying a town or selling a town? It is unclear. But selling it to each other?

I don't know what's happening. Did they already buy? I guess they already bought the town and now they're selling the town. Right to individuals because they're going to come and populate it with cool, artsy-fartsy types who are going to come and make this the hippest town that's ever existed in the middle of desert-ass Texas. But also better world question mark? Yeah, they're gonna make it a better world. And how? It appears that they're just starting with good old old capitalism. Capitalism. Late stage capitalism. Yeah. Yeah. They run like a barbecue joint or something or their chefs. They seem to think it's a food truck, which is like how the fuck did you come up at the capital to buy a town?

Those food trucks are lucrative. Are they? I don't know. I don't know. I don't think so. in Austin, Texas. That's where they did say they were in Austin. Yeah. All right, well, whatever. It's very weird that in 2022 we have a movie about a gentrifying black man going and taking down rebel flags in small town, Texas. Feels a little weird. It's a weird look. I'm not sure about the message. Also his partner is doing like a Rizzo from Greece cosplay. Like every bit of her look. I feel like the costume designer watched Greece on the plane th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th in th in th in th in th in th in th in th in th in th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the thi thi thi thi the 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. theee. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. the. the. th bit of her look. I feel like the costume designer

watched Greece on the plane on the way to Texas and was like, I know what I'm doing! Tell me more, tell me more. You are on tonight. I'm very happy with your musical stylings. So hopped up on Oreo. Yeah. Oh I have to read my third note before we get too far into this. I've had a couple of beers, some pizza, plus some pudding pie. Let's do this. What kind of pudding pie? Chocolate pudding pie? Grap the crust.

Come on. Not fucking around. I made this shit myself. And it was gluten free. Yeah, good guy. I'm the the guy, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thoom. thoom, th. th. thoom. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th they meet on the side of the road that they're rude to, he was carrying a gun, like, oh, go, go to go a little dick. Oh yeah. Which is not what you say to a man carrying a gun?

No, why provoke him? He calls them gententrfuckers is a great phrase. Yeah, yeah. Good for you. Man, they stole that from you though. Yeah. They got that Virginia Black Long's 7-inch and just ripped that song right off. He's a metal guy, this guy, which I like, which I like, I guess. And what is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is coal is coal is coal is coal is coal is coal is coal is coal coal is coal coal is coal coal coal coal coal coal th coal th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. that. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. tho. the. tho, you're not familiar with roll and coal? Uh-uh. It's a thing. I've seen it. You can go, if you go outside of Pittsburgh, they're a dude driving around rolling coal. What is, what does it mean? I mean, I realize you make a lot of smoke,

yeah, you burn diesel fuel off, you like, it runs rich. So it's burning off. I think it's what it did. I don't know exactly, but you're making a lot of smoke. They'll usually do it with like really large tailpipes coming up by the cab. To really show off that they're dumb asses? What, yeah, what is just like, it's a fuck you to environmentalism. I see. Yeah, that's all it is. It's like, fuck you, I won't th that I won me, but not the good kind. Yeah, the bad kind. Fuck you, I won't do the right thing. Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me unless you tell me to torten the Capitol building on January 6th. Not to get political about it.

Mm-hmm. Sorry, yes, it has existed for, I want to say, 20 years. Okay, good to know. Good to know, and also bad to know. Yeah. So yes, these people are trying to build a town, and it is the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard. It's just not, it's not a premise. It's not like, no one's doing this.

No, it's not real. Cross anyone's dream, but the dream is dumb. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hippies driving around smoking weed in their fucking conversion van That's real. I believe in that. Yeah. I have done that. I have done that. For sure without being a hippie though because ooh Yeah, I'm taking everybody down to night. Yeah, fuck it. Well, this is our last episode. We're burning it to the ground. They know. This is our last episode. the other night. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's that's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's. I that shit. I that shit. I. I that shit. I I shit. I shit. I shit. I shit. I shit. It's shit. It's that shit. It's that shit. It's that shit. It's that shit. It's that shit. It's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's th. I th. It's the the the the the the the th. I th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll that's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it'sto the ground. They know it's not because we're not doing the thing. That's true. Oh what a sad day that's gonna be. I know I just think about the other night I was like what's it gonna be like we're like so this is the lesser- It's not at all what I meant. I mean, I thought this was a murder pat. I mean, when I step into the bus lane by accident, and then that'll just be it. I was, I was watching videos of people in Ukraine throwing Maltof cocktails at tanks and I was like, there's no way I'm not lit on fire after doing that. Oh my god, yeah.

I'm just like tipping it up onto my head and trucking in me like, oh, I'm a cocktail too. Good on you. Fight back. Yeah, absolutely. So there's, there is, no one's in this town except for the contractor who I only refer to him as the contractor in my notes. And he's also the, oh no, they were rude, were they rude to the him or to the cop?

What do they were rude to him, the contractor? He's the guy with the gun. He shows up again. Yes. also just leaves an AR-15 laying on a table. Yeah, it's wild. In his garage, in his place of work. In his business, yes, his business setting. It would be like if you went to 7-Eleven or try to buy some gum and there's just an AR-15 on the counter. I don't think I'd be very comfortable there.

No. No. So I guess there was an orphanage right there on the main street of town, which seems unlikely. You know, they kind of tend to have space. Sure, sure, yeah. They just look the kids playing traffic. It's just a storefront. So they go check out the orphanage and they meet Ginny, yeah. Who lives there and has run it?

And she says, I would have put my face on, which I liked a lot, because I always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always say that I'll put my face on too. I recognize that actor I'm not sure from what but she's definitely been in stuff that I've seen. She was pretty cool I like to and she is so the whole thing is that they have all the deeds and rights to the buildings except one. But we don't know that yet but like really we do. Right of course because everything in this movie is completely tele-a because because because the the the the they. Because they. they. they. they. I I I I I I I th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I's th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm like, th. I'm like, to be thi. I's, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'll, I's, I's, I's is th. I's is th. I's is th. I's is th. I's is th. I's is th. I's is th. I's is th. I's is th. I's is th. I's is th. I's is th. I's is th. I's th. I's th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm th. I'm to th. I'm tot. I'm tot. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the. I'm the. I'm thi. I like really we do. Right, right. Of course, because everything in this movie is completely telegraphed. Because they're like, uh, lady, you gotta leave, you're not allowed to be here. And she's like, oh, you talking about that? No, I, I took care of that.

Yeah. That's it. That's it. And she did. least the guy is, Dante. And he's immediately like, fuck this, I'm calling the cops. Yeah, but then also the, what's the girl's name, the, um, Rizzo? I might just call her Rizzo? Is this, uh, are you talking about, uh, Rizzo? Okay. She is arguing with this old woman, theyreau? thi. thrown. It's like, thi. thi. thi's arguing. thi. thi. they. thi. they. thi. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they, they, they, they, what's, the their, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's. What's. What's. the girl. the girl. the the the girl. the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their, what's, what's, what's their. their their their their their the the the the girl. the girl, the the girl's the girl's th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the the th. the th. th. the though to come into this woman's house and argue if we get out. So like maybe just let it, I mean it's fine if the police come because then at least it'll get sorted out. Yeah. Yeah. I think you're referring to melody or Mel. No, I'm not. Rizzo. I'm a faulty type writer. When summer sunflowers bloom, winter is doomed.

Wait, what was that? Something that keeps saying in this movie is like, oh yeah, I'm from Texas too. Let me say this Texas thing to you. Oh yeah, Texas forever. This movie's real Texas forever. I wish. So, yeah, eventually this woman has like a cardiac event, I guess.

Yeah, she seems to have like emphysema or something. She has an oxygen tank that she's rolling around with her. And so they're like the cops come and they're going to take her in an ambulance slash paddy wagon. Yes, exactly. Also, that's racist. You can't say that. Patty wagon? Yeah, because it's about Irish people. Oh. Yeah, I just say Patty Wagon.

It's okay to be at racist against Irish people in Italians. It just is. As I say, this is an Italian American. I never, yeah, I didn't even think about that. That's wild. Yeah. I didn't mean to call you out in this podcast. You called me in. There's a difference.

We're explaining something to me. And then I just told you to keep being racist. So yeah, they take away in the cop van with stuff like a ambulance. And... They don't seem to be doing any sort of treatment on her though. They're like, oh boy, well you just lay there. Well, she also has her son with her, which is this big, huge man. Yeah, she's like, this is the last of my boy's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. th. the thus. It's thus. It's the the th. It's the th. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It's is th. It's is th. It's is th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's a big. It's a big. It's a big. It's a big. It's a big. It's a big. It's a big. It's a big. And, thus. It's a big. And, thus. And, thus. And, the the thus. And, the thus. And, th. And, th. Yeah, she's like this is the last of my boys. Man, he's 76. Once a son, always a son. Once a son always a son. Never was her son, but okay. I mean he was her adopted son, I guess. Yeah, I guess. And Ruth, who is the partner of, who is the main... Dante? Dante. I like how you said that with some flare. Dante and Ruth. Um, who's the thuu. Um, who is the the the the the the the the the th. Who th. Who th. th. th. th. th. the the th. th. th. th. the th. th. the the th. the th. th. the th. th. the the th is the th. the th. the the the the the the son always always the son always always always the son always always the son always, always the son always, always, always, always, always the son, the son, the son, the son, the son, the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thus thus thus thus. thus. thus. thus thus thus thus thus thus thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. th. th.... Dante. Dante. Dante. I like how you said that with some flare. Dante and Ruth. So Ruth is like I'll go to the hospital with

Ginny and you guys stay here because they're having like a a grand viewing of the town. And an auction seemingly for the building. Seemingly. Seemingly. Why does anyone from their party need to go with her though? Because Melody was like, well, I'm going to go with her to make sure she's okay. And Ruth's like, no, I'll go with it, you stay here. I think nobody needs to go. Nobody needs to go, but I think they felt responsible because they were for her having this attack. Yeah, I still wouldn't go. And then she starts dying in the in the truck. And no one's helping her. And the cops like, ooh. I skipped that day of training. And this massive handed man of, yeah. He looks a little like Jack Black at

the beginning, which I thought was interesting. Okay, like a giant Jack Black. Also, did you see that video of Jack Black and the Rock where Jack Black, it's like an interview where Jack Black is imitating the rock doing a rock impersonation. It's fucking fantastic and the rock is just like lulling so hard at it. I wish Jack Black was my boyfriend. I've been watching videos for this wrestler named Danhausen. Okay. Um, who is new to AEW and stuff, but he's very funny online and he refers to the rock Johnson. to the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. to. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the.. Okay. Who's new to AEW and stuff, but he's very funny online. And he refers to the Rock Johnson only as Rock the Dwayne Johnson. Oh, I like that a lot.

That's a very whereof ambulance joke, I feel. Oh, speaking of very wherewelf ambulance jokes, uh, I saw today that they are doing Amityville in space. What? What? No. That feels like some shit we would have made up.

That is, that sounds like something we would have invented as like a musical that we were going to put on, you know? It's Amityieval in space. La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-L-A-Lah. Soundtime meets James Wan. What a shit show. You know we're going to do it, though. Son of a bitch.

Also, Lindsay Logan got it two film deal with Netflix. So excited about that. Your tweet about that was very funny. It's truly all I have left. For a second I thought that the deputy that's in the back of the ambulance slash cop van was Big Pete from Pete and Pete. It is not. That would have been nice. Especially for what happens to him, which is that leather, that, that, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, is, is, is thi, is, is, is th. th. It, is, is, is th, is th, is th, is th, is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, is, is thi, is thi, is thi, thi, thi. thi. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, is the, which is that Leatherface snaps his arm in half and then stabs him in the neck

with the broken bones. Yeah, yeah. I love this. Yeah. Yeah. Would watch that happen all day long in movies? I would watch all of the gore and effects and kills in this movie all day long. So this is just someone's like fucking real for I can do special effects, right? Like they were like like, we have the loosest of premises for a film.

Yep. Uh, we were just going to call him Leather Man, but we figured we'd tie it into the chainsaw boys. Yeah. And we're just going to do gory, gory, smash, mash. Wait, hold up. Does that mean he arrived at the orphanage when he was over the age of 26? Yeah. He wasn't...

Theoretically, he... I mean, in the mythology of this film, maybe he was 15 and just a big boy. But his brothers are older. Sure. So he's, I feel he's older. And this is very much like Halloween 2018, which was like Halloween happened, nothing else. Nothing else, nothing in between happened. There's no chili cookoffs. No. There's no dual chainsaw battles. There's no stretch and

lefty or whatever their names were. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what we're going to call ourselves, remember, and another werel of ambulance joke. Anyway, yes, sorry to derail us there with that again, but... No, it's fine. Can you imagine going into that production meeting and being like, okay so he's gonna have been in the orphanage and everyone being like, but he was an adult. Do it had, did, did, did? Did? And had to have been, remember how well Halloween 2018 did? Oh for sure. What if we text this chainsaw massacre that?

Well, maybe if they've gotten Judy Greer, it would have been a different story. Oh man. God damn national treasure. She really is. Yeah, but fucking killing somebody with their own broke-ass bone. It's fantastic. It's very dope. And then he shoots the sheriff. Yeah.

And then he kills the blonde lady. Yeah, after the van wrecks. Yeah. And she has time to get on the CB and talk to the guy at the gas station. Right, right. She does. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, she seems superfluous anyway, so... Also, this movie's short. It moves along in a good clip.

We're like 20 minutes in she's dead. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I liked when, after the car accident, they like took the time to give her like a little fucking walnut on her forehead where she had cracked her head. I agree. I thou th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th th I th I th th th thought thou I tho. I thou I thou I thou tho. I tho. I tho. I tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the the theeeeeea thea thea thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo that's a really nice touch and hard to do because it doesn't have any bruising or blood, like you have to... It's just swollen. It's a little, little egg grow in there. It's good.

It was a nice touch. And then leather face lashes are across the tum. Yeah, after he puts on J killed a child and put their face on at this room? Because if you've been around like small children and then a lot of them and you're a psycho killer? Guess who's sick? Dead.

Dead. Dead, dead. Bro? No. It's not going to happen. I thought the sunflower fields look dope. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, I think, well, okay, so a lot of the scenery, like the town looks cool.

Yeah, yeah. But then they have this abandoned ghost town that they don't use in any way. Like there's no, I don't know, we could have done with like a creeping around a saloon, a ta. Sure, or like weird abandoned chapel or something. Yeah, or like the, none of that. That action sequence in malignant when they're in the underground of San Francisco or Seattle. Yes, exactly. Like something like that would have been nice. But there's nothing like that. No. Which just feels like not thought about. Yeah. It's not thoughtful. Yeah. It makes it very much feel like what I assume that town was just a, you know, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, like, the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the, the. the, the, the, the, a, you know, like a back lot sort of deal

that doesn't actually have buildings. Sure. Yeah. A lot of movies are filmed on back lots though. They don't want to... They're not this shitty. It's true. Yeah. So everyone has gotten on the bus. Right. Well except for Lila who's talking to the contractor. Right, right, right. Right, right. Lila is the little sister of Rizzo, aka Mel, aka Meli. Who appears to be perhaps a minor or close to it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, who is, has a not too distant school shooting in her past. Yeah, and I agree with Cameron that it was treated really like, just such a strange afterthought.

Yeah. Like as if it's, it felt uncomfortable to me because it feels like something that just happens, like she was having flashbacks of a car accident or, you know, like, I mean on some level, they are. I know, but that feels very disheartening. Right, right, right, right. I think we're still living in a world where it should be more, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like some level, they are. I know, but that feels very disheartening. Right, right, right, right. I think we're still living in a world where it should be more shocking. Yeah, that school children die. Yeah, for sure.

Like, my niece, who is six and in kindergarten, was telling me about doing an active shooter, where they're coached to find things to throw at the shooter. She's six. She weighs less than 40 pounds. I like she was selling to this in the car and I like turned the rear of your mirror so she couldn't see me like getting misty about it. No. And she was like and then you run at them and I was like you run at them or you run out the door and she was like you run you run you run you run you run you run you run you you you you you to run th and I and th you th you th and th and th and th and th th and th and th th and th th th and th th th th th th th thrown thrown th thrown th and thrown thrown th. And she was like, and she was like, and she was like, I th th. And she was like, I th. And she was like, I th. And she was like, I th. And th. And th th th. And th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thrown, I thrown, I thrown, I thrown, I thrown, I thrown, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, baby girl. Let's clarify that point though. Oh. So...

Fuh. That is... So anyway, the school shooting stuff kind of sucks for me. Yeah, yeah. And just that it's not given any gravity. Is that because we just don't know and or care about this character? Who's like, I should have died, I'm not the one who should live, my that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's that's that's that, that, that's thi, thi, that's that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that, that's that's that, that, that's thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thiiiiiiiiii. thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. thi. thi. thi. and or care about this character who's like, I should have died, I'm not the one who should live, my friends are better than me, which is a fucking heavy thing to say. Yeah, but we don't...

And it doesn't have any weight behind the there. Yes, you're right. She should have weight and she doesn't, and I don't know why that is. Is it just that we don't get the th th th the th tho tho tho tho tho tho the tho tho tho tho tho the tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho that we that we that we don't get the one that we don't get that we don't that we don't that we don't that we don't that we don't that we don't that we the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the the the the in the CB, the guy on the CB calls the final girl from the first movie. Yeah. It's like, oh man, it's on, you gotta do this again. And she's like, fuck, yeah, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck any fuck.

Yeah, she's been at spring training. I only refer to that woman as the final girl, yeah. Sally. She is wasted in this movie. Yeah. Absolutely wasted. Great actor. She was in Mandy. She was one of the cult members in Manree. Oh, I thought she looked familiar. She's like very prominent cheekbones. Yeah. She's very striking looking. She's very striking looking. But yeah, she was totally wasted this. Yeah, she has very few lines. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

But Dye's like a- Yeah, they didn't watch Halloween 2018 to the end to see the Jamie Lee Curtis lives. They flip the script? Oh, man. So, so Leatherface comes back to town after he kills the people in the van. And he's like stomping around the house and melody, the the the the the the the the the the after he kills the people in the van, and he's like stomping around the house and Melody is still in the house. Because they went, because her and Dante went to the house, and Dante is there too, because they went to find if there was the deed there. Right.

Right. they, I'll just go find that. I can't go find the paperwork that I need. to to to find, I to find, to find, to find, to find, to find, to find, to find, to find, to find, to find, to find, to to to find, to find, to to find, to find, to find, to find, to find, to find, to find, the the the the their, their, their their their their their their their their, their their, their, their, their, their, their their, their their, their their their their their their, their their their, their, their their, their their their, their their their their their tho.mea. Melody. Melody. Melody. Melody's tie. Melody's tie. tie. today. today. Melody's today, today, thi. Melody. Melody, thi. thi. Melody's thi need to find no matter what. I haven't had a driver's license in over two years. Because I can't find the photo card. Yeah. I mean, I renew the license. I just don't have the picture. I just don't have a valid ID. I take my passport everywhere I go. Don't mug me, please.

I'm like so responsible with other people's lives and my own is a wreck. Just looking for money in your pockets and just pulling out fire, active fire. How did it get there? How was it so burning? Oh, that was that cigarette that I hid in the drawer when the schoolmarm walked in. So, they're looking for this deed, which they find. They find so good. It's in like, like, it, like, like, like, like, it, it, it, like, like, it, like, it, it, it, it, it, like, like, it, it th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho, tho, th tho, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii thi thi thi thi thi thi walked in. So, they're looking for this deed, which they find. They find so fine. They find so good.

It's in like a box labeled deed. Deed. Deed for Dumb Dumb's. Dante finds it and he's like, gulp. Yeah. But he doesn't have to worry about it for long. Because in hell he'll never get to be the mayor of Instagram Ghost Town. the-the-tick-tac-a-lips. Because Leatherface comes and kills and burglarizes him real quick. Doesn't actually kill him though. Slashes him across the face and then he stumbles out later and you're like, fucking die already.

And then Leatherface goes and puts makeup on? I think so, yeah. But he does that in the original too with a lipstick on before dinner. Yeah. Which is so incredibly creepy in the first movie and it's so nothing in this to me. Yeah. Because he doesn't have the same like madman energy somehow. He's not as like, I don't know know he's just not as compelling somehow he is we've often talked about this where like I feel like the slamming of that metal door in Texas Stainstall Masquer the OG gives it this sense of unreality and the fact that someone would live in a house that was just filled with chicken bones you fucking sweep up red up the place but so he has this like he feels like a character out of folklore like a folklore like. like the the the the the the the the the he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he is he is he is he is he is he is he is he is he is he is he is he he is he he is he he is he he is he he is he he is he he is he he is he he is he he is he he is he he is he he is he he he he is he he is he he is he he is he he is he he he is he he he he he th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th sweep up. Red up the place. But so he has this like, he feels like a character out of folklore,

like out of mythology. Like you're going to fight the fucking Minotaur. Yes. Or something like that. And then in the second movie, you're just like, oh, you're a raving, fucking lunitic. lunatic, right, in the most like urban legend-y way and this is just like, oh you're Michael Myers or Jason or it's like we've seen this before it doesn't he's not his own flavor. No he's certainly not they basically confused him

with like the idea of the shape. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah for sure losing all the character of Leatherface which is losing the character and making him immortal. Yeah Yeah which in the other movies like when he gets hurt the the he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he th. th. th. Yeah th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. Losing all the character of Leatherface, which is... Losing the character and making him immortal. Yeah. Which in the other movies, like when he gets hurt, he's pissed, he's angry. You know, like, howls, yeah. And this he's nothing. He's just like... It's a real bummer. Yeah. It feels like it was written by someone who saw two horror movies, which was Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Halloween 2018. I think I got this. I think I got this. I'm gonna really wow you with something. But Dante's torn up face looks great.

Yeah, it does. And then I thought, ooh, leather face has really lost his touch, leaving someone alive. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, but then he finds a chainsaw. That he is hidden in a wall. Yeah, in an orphanage. In an orphanage. And has had there for how long? 50 years?

Long enough that he doesn't need to clean it or oil it when he pulls it out of the wall, it's ready to go. Do you think that he was like revving it up every couple years to keep it warm and someone will be like, what is that? And he'd be like, thi that, that, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, what is thi, what is like, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, th.. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. er, Fern? Kids playing and they just hear the wall being broken down again. And then he's spackling over it. Oh, leather face, he's just up there getting his chainsaw out the wall.

Fucking leather face. Meanwhile, the Texas Ranger lady, Sally, is getting closer to the town, looking at a Polaroid from the original film, and she's like, my brother, my brother, and it's like, to be fair, you hated your brother. That one like Franklin. Everyone else did too. Franklin, worst character in horror movie history.

I love him. Sally. Yeah. . He's so good. Anyway, Richter, I guess is the contractor? I don't know, that's contractor. I just wrote, glad he has a gun now, so I'm thinking it's the contractor.

Yeah, I would assume. And then immediately, well, that's that for Richter. Yeah, he comes in that, like, whole thing of like this like these city folk are coming to ruin this town and you got to get like the good old boy with the gun who will take down the rebel flag for you but he's not happy about it. You're not gonna like it. And then when Ginny was like to me that flag represents my heritage and my family and no one's like well to me. Yeah, right? I was that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. to to to to thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. th. the. the. the. the. theeeeeeee. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. to to to, well, to me. Yeah, right. As a black person. Yeah, he walks in, he's like, I'm gonna fight leatherface. The end.

Goodbye, I am dead now dead. And his death is very gruesome. Yeah. They like, he gets his head mushed to bits. Well, he like, leatheries puts him down, and then he's like trying to give the keys that he's stolen from the kids back to them. I'm just gonna call him kids now. They're like 27 years old. I don't think that's true, but okay. I think they're 11. I'm really on. And Leatherface is like, oh, you're not dead enough. And so then we have to watch everyone else is on the bus. There's music and lights. That bus is running. Why did they need the keys? There must have been a second set.

I guess so. Perhaps they were with the driver of the bus. Okay. I didn't even think about that. That's fucking hilarious. Yeah. I didn't even think about that. That's fucking hilarious. So, Rizzo gets knocked clear into the basement, right? Is it Rizzo or Lila that gets knocked? It's Rizzo. She falls down into the basement. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, right, because she hits the poop pipe. Yes. Well, he hits the boot pipe with the chanthanks and dumps the poop on her head. Which is fucking funny to think of leather face being so petty. I'm a mo ducy all over your head. Everyone's duky.

But then Lila like punches through the grating on the window and Bolesar Sister out of the basement. Meanwhile there's a party happening on the bus. Yeah. And the woman who appears to be like the bank lady has seen Dante's face and knows that there's a bad guy about. And she's just like not telling anyone. But not letting them get off the bus either. I think I would tell the bus driver to be like if you see someone coming, you've got to hit it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The bus driver gets killed.

And Leatherface gets on the bus, kills the bus, sorry, bus driver leaves the bus, because they're trying to drive away, like something happens to the bus, he gets off the bus, and then his head gets thrown back on the bus. I actually love that, of course, yeah. But there's no like chainsaw noise no there's like I think he just popped it off like a Barbie yeah and then leatherface gets on the bus and your favorite scene in the movie happens when they kill all the investors and you yell fuck capitalism no when the investors hold up their phone and say try anything and you're canceled bro to whom is that meant to appeal I don't know because it's not appealing to anyone I don't know yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah to yeah yeah to th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thy. thy. Yeah thi thy thy. Yeah thy th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that th that th that that th that that th that that th that th that th th that that th th that th th the that that that that the that the that that the that that the that that the that that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theto whom is that meant to appeal. I don't know because it's not appealing to anyone

I don't know. Yeah Like neither the Cantilees nor the cancelor would find that funny now, but it is funny to think about leather face going viral getting so many followers and then eventually monetizing. Oh, influencer. No emergency exit on that fucking bus. Every bus has an emergency exit and everyone to exi that the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to the the the the the the the the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they., no emergency exit on that fucking bus. Every bus has an emergency exit and everyone knows where it is because we all did that drill in elementary school. There's a skylight in the pooper that they can get out that's right. There has to be an emergency exit. Yeah, yeah, but that's okay because the bank lady gets cut in half, which I loved. Oh which she's like hanging out the window. I thou th for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that's th. th. th. th. th. that's th. that's the. th. that's that's th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, when she's like hanging out the window. I thought it was great. Yeah, for sure. But again, it has no, it's just like you're just here for the gore it has no weight whatsoever. That was really the only reason to watch it, yeah. And then Sally pulls up.

The girls get in the backseat of her their teat. Yeah. The thanks seat of her jeep. Standard operating procedure, back seat in my jeep. And the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. And th. And th. And th. And th is is is th is th is th is the is tho th. Yeah. And then thateateateateate. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah locked in there. Yeah, the backseat of her jeep. Yeah, standard operating procedure, backseat in my jeep. And then she decides to leave them and go wander around looking for Leatherface which seems like the exact opposite of what this woman would actually do. Yeah, she goes to hunt leather face, finds him immediately. He's not that hard to find. He's not that hard to find. He's not that hard. A twe. Twenty. Twenty. Twenty. Twenty. Twenty. Twenty. Twenty. Twenty. Twenty. Twenty. Twenty. Twenty. Twenty. Twenty. t. t. t. t. tha. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to leave. to leave. to to leave. to to leave. the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the the their. the the the the their. the the their. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the. the the the thea. to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. to to the. tall in a town that is one block long. He's like three of me stacked on top of each other trying to get an R-rated movie. Wearing a gigantic trenchcoat just so long. And she walks up to him with a fucking gun and is like four score and seven years just goes like fucking goes into the Gettysburg address or whatever. Yes shoot him. Because oh god. I've been waiting so long to do this,

I'll wait longer. I will just give you my speech that I have been planning for 50 question mark years. And then she's like, you remember me? And he ghosts her, because there's nothing there. Yeah. She's like, you don't remember me. It's like very stupid. Yes, that's the word you were grasping for. Like, why does she care? She? She? She? You? You? You? You? You? You? You? You? You? You? You? You? You? You? You? You? You? You? You? You? You? You? You? You? th? th? th? th? th? th? th. She? th. She? th. She? th. She? th. She? I th. She? I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. to. to. to. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, that's the word you were looking for. Like, why does she care? She, you're, you're, you're, uh. Meanwhile, in the back seat of the car, Lila says, I was supposed to die in school that day, so death followed me here.

So maybe this person also is a final destination, because that's what I think. Yeah. Oh my God. So they tried driving away in Sally's truck because they see him kill her or kill? Yeah, because she's not dead yet. Essentially kill, yeah. It's pretty brutal. And they wrecked the truck and the gear shift goes into Melody's leg?

I loved that. It's like, the idea of your leg being pinned there. And you have to get yourself off of it. Yeah, I think I could do that. I could pull a knife out of my body. Yeah. I'm not afraid. I'll show you.

I had to do it once. It's not fun. I stuck a knife t own leg on accident and had to pull it out. How did you do that accidentally? I don't want to talk about it. It was very dumb. We were doing knife tricks? No, I was doing a dumb thing and I got stabbed my own like. I was like 13. Oh, it was when you were in that production slid a demon in Maria. I kept thinking if she just slid the seat of the jeep back, she would just slide right off.

She doesn't do that. Yeah, no, she does not. And Lila calls him leather fuck, which is crazy because she's just heard the word leatherface once a moment ago. So how does she know about, ugh, forget it. Leather fuck. Leather fuck. And, oh, because Lila tries shooting him at the AR-15, but the contractor had previously taken all the bullets out of that gun. And then, uh, Sally in her final act of desperation loads the rifle for or gives the

her shotgun to Lila. And she says don't run if you run he'll never stop haunting you which I like to bet a bit of a passing of a torch. Yeah yeah. You'll be in a dumb movie 40 years from now. Sorry about uh and I have a note leatherface does the old Texas ta ta ta. the old Texas chainsaw fake. the things. thick. th. th. th. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. thi. And thin. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And the the th. And the th. And the the the the. And the the the the the the the the the the the the they. the the the the the the they. the the they. the the the the the the the. the. Sorry about you. And I have a note, Leatherface does the old Texas chainsaw fake out and tackles Lila into a cesspool. Yeah. Because he had the chainsaw running in like one area and then was hiding somewhere else and tackles her into this like pool of stagnant water. I mean Leatherface's bathtub? Yeah. And I think I'm still reeling from the cess pit in phenomena. And so I was just like, oh it's filled with gross, it was just

water. It was just water. But I was like, blah. She gets caught in the ankle by the chainsaw. But like also maybe just grab it. I know you've got a boo boo, but whatever. But Melody gets his chainsaw and massacres his ass is the note that I have. And he sinks into the water. Leatherface is not supernatural. No, no, no, no. I hate this. Yeah. Okay. Maybe so many years of being a, uh, uh, uh, just uh, a chansoil wielding maniac turn you into a supernatural being. But he hasn't. He's been hanging out at the orphanage playing that game where you roll a hoop down the street with a stick. Or whatever. Harp Scotch.

Imagine, you poor thing, like your parents die, you have no family and you go to this orphanage and you're rooming with leather face. It was 32. That's what chainsaw wall. So then Mel and Lila have to leave the town. They're the Sally now dog. Yeah, well done. And they get into some car that's like a Tesla or something I guess. And did they put it on autopilot. Yes. Get into some car that's like a Tesla or something I guess. I guess.

And did they put it on autopilot? Yes. Which I'm in a getaway situation. I still have to find like someone to tell that all this has happened. Yeah, I'm going to be in control to drive in the car. Yeah, I'm going to hit the gas. And... So stupid. The car starts driving away and Leatherface pulls Mel out of the car, chops her head off

and goes, Haza! Yes, he does. He says, hazza. And then he does the like, leatherface swing around. To be like, we did see the first movie. I swear to God, we saw it all the way to the end. It's like his finishing move. It's his like a touchdown dance, you know? It's, and the end of the movie is just, Lila going, no, no, no, turn around, hit the

break, it's gotta stop, the car's gonna stop. No, just touch your head. No, what's too late, or sisters be headed, just get the fuck out of there. I don't know, I think I'd want to go get my my my my my my my my my my my my my to go get my to go get my to go get my to go get my to go get my sister to go get my sister my sister my sister my sister my sister my sister my sister my sister my sister my sister to go get my sister to go get my sister to get my sister to get my sister to get my sister's to get my sister's to get my sister's to get my sister's to get my sister sister sister's to get my sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister sister and to get my sister and to get my sister and to get my sister to get my sister and to get my sister and to get my sister and to get my sister to get my sister to got a question I know the answer to. Yeah. Stick around for the credits. What the fuck? No.

There's a post-credit sequence. Tell me more. Tell me more. Tell me more. Okay, yeah, we got this tonight. You already made that joke, didn't you? thu. Was that Tesla like, Greece Lightning? You guys can't see it, but I'm doing musical hands.

And she's dressed exactly like Olivia Newton John now. What's the leather bit that I really like? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, Leatherface is walking back to the house from the original movie. Okay, fine. Like you just walked down the highway and got to the house. I just don't see that happening, but all right. Leatherface. You're such a menace. Texas Jade Saw Masquer 2020. You're such a disappointing shit show.

Go ahead. You're exactly what I thought you were going to be. For sure. Um, honestly, it's fine. Yeah. It's there are worse movies in this genre. Hmm. I thought it was th it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was. th it was. th it was. th it was. th it was. th it was. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that it was. that it was. th. that it's. that it was. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. the th. th. I. th. th. I. th. th. I. th. I's there are worse movies in this genre. I thought it was as good as the Jessica Beale one. Um... Okay, okay, okay. Uh, a little less realistic, but the gore was so amped up in this that became a thing that I was like latching on to. Absolutely. It's hell a dumb. It's stupider than stupid. Do you think it would have been worthwhile to make it not stupid? Do you think we would have ever liked it? I mean I really liked Halloween

2018. Sure, I don't think I have, um, I don't, I don't get, like everything gets remade. Yeah. Like, they've always done remakes. Like, what is that movie, The Cat in the Canary that was remade like 10 times by 1949? Like, they're just like, there's just like, there's always remakes of everything. So I don't, like, I don't know. I wasn't bothered by the fact that it existed. Yeah. It's mere existence did not chafe me.

It's better than the Halloween kills or whatever the fuck that one we just watched was. I agree with that too. Ah, I don't know. Yeah, I agree with that. That one was disappointing. It was, that's right. Yes.. They's, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, th. that's, that's, that's, that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's, th. th. that's, th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the. the the the the. the the. the. the the. th were higher. Yes. And this was like, they fucking, oh that's right, I just remember. Yeah.

Oh, fuck it. Yeah, yeah. Don't spoil it in case someone has a list. I know, I'm not doing it. That's why I stopped myself. Uh, this is a five. Uh, thi. It's a five. Is that a contemporary reference? That's good, that's the kids know that one. What about you? I mean, yeah, I think if you step away from it,

it's a fine slasher. Yeah. But I don't know, but they should have maybe just made a slasher instead of trying to tie the franchise into it. Yeah. Again, I think it's a commentary on gentrification, obviously a very ham-fisted one. But like the characters are so unlikable, but also working so hard to make themselves seem likable. Like what they're doing is bad,

which is building a town for rich white people, presumably. Right. But they're also like so, like so, like, so, like, so, like, so, like, like, so th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th so, th so, th so, th so, th so, th so, th so, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th so, th so th so th so th so th so th so th so th so th so th so th so th, the the thi, the the the the their their the their their is building a town for rich white people, presumably. Right. But they're also like so concerned with this woman's health, right? I feel like it's less of a commentary and justification and more of a commentary on like city folks, ruin and the country. Well, that doesn't make any sense to me. Does city folks move to the country and ruin it? Yeah, yeah. I guess that's the plot of Agatha Raisin, huh?

Spending a lot of time in Northeastern Pennsylvania, which is two hours north of New York City, where a lot of people own summer homes and moved up there when COVID hit. Yes, I hear a lot of stuff about city folk ruining places. Presumably they're not buying towns. No, no, no, no. You're putting in brunch spots. No. Oh, can we just talk real quick about how one of the people who won the auction was somebody Brady of Brady's brunch was the name of the business?

I didn't even notice that. I think I may have been having two screen experiences during this. Fair. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, too, thi, I, I, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, thi, thi, they, they, they, th. I'm, th. C, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. Yes, th. Yes, th. I, th. Yes, th. Yes, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooomomoma, thi. C. I'm, the. C. I did. I sure did. I think I may have been having two screen experiences during this. Fair enough, you missed nothing I'm sure. You tuned in for all the important parts, which is people dying. It's four and a half for me. Okay, okay. It's pretty shit. But it's mercifully short. Yes. And someone someone dies every few minutes, which is appreciated, which is much appreciated by me, you know? Speaking of things things that things, th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that I that I that I that I that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that is that is thi. thi, thi thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to be to be th. It's thi. It's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It is th. It is th. It is th. I I th. It is th. It is th. I is thi. thi. thi. to thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to toe. to to. to to to to to to thi. th short... Can... Wait? I'm sorry, I was thinking about things. Speaking of stuff? Speaking of my thoughts! Oh man, I'm glad I'm not that guy. I would like to read you an insanely long review of the podcast that I feel like hits some very important points. Okay I'm ready. Oh no I lost their name. That's the most

important part. You dildo me. Hold on. Hold on. Wait for it. Wait for old Dildo me to show back up. You're okay. You take your time. All right. This is a review from our friend Bovine Monk. Hey Bovine Monk. You cow monk. I love it. This is a five-star review that says, and I quote, delightful and fun. Oh. I am a big diaper baby and don't especially want to watch horror movies. Um, hi, Bovine Monk, real big fan of Big Diper Baby. Yeah. Love that a lot. Very good. That may replace Titty Baby. Oh yeah, because like really a lot of babies are Titty Baby.

But also I guess a lot of babies are Big Diper Babies, too. A Big Diper Baby just feels more family-friendly. It sure does. And I think we should all strive to make to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that that thi all strive to make this podcast more family-friendly. I think because I was such a fearful child, it only made me more curious about ghost, ghouls, goblins, etc. Horror movies are a safe way to explore fear. You can get a peek at what the worst could be and walk away safe and intact, at least physically on the other side. That's a really nice way of looking at it. It is. I discovered this podcast after another similar podcast I had been listening to stop

making new episodes. I think they realize what they were doing was wrong and stopped making new episodes. Stop competing with us, you shit. I am glad that glad now that I found it. It always seems like Alan is put in a gitty mood by having his good friend Katie around. Oh, that's 100% true. He laughs quite frequently. He also has a laudable amount of knowledge concerning the genre. Sure do.

Katie is always ready with a witty retort. Thank you. Offbeat observation or just plain funny comment. All these things are true. Thank you. I love the running gags they've developed throughout the run of the podcast. In some of their episodes from the last couple of years,

they went outside to record. I always enjoyed the Doug the Dog squirrel moments when interesting cards or people passed by. They really were. Do you remember that night that the flock flock of cyclists with lights on their bike went by and like stunned us? Yes, but I also remember an afternoon or slash early evening when that gang of roller bladers went by because I remember being like, look there's more!

It's a joy being a fly on the wall in hearing two people who obviously have deep affection for each other. Oh, just sit and shoot the breeze. If you're looking for an in- a fly on the wall and hearing two people who obviously have deep affection for each other. Just sit and shoot the breeze. If you're looking for an in-depth analysis of the genre, you can suck it! You may want to look elsewhere. If you like horror movies or are curious about them, as I am in love good humor, give it a spin. I feel like you won't be sorry. Oh, I feel like you won't either. And thank you so much to vine monk. That is really making me feel feelings. Yeah, that's really, I thought it might, I thought it was beautiful.

I also enjoy Shanames review which is it's great, digging it. Dig in it. Dig in it. Dig in it. I appreciate that Bovine monk really gets what we're about. Yeah, yeah. I appreciate I appreciate that all of you really get what we're about except for those of you who leave bad reviews and you can again suck it. There are so few of them. This is not an invite to leave a bad review. Please don't. I will, it will hurt our feelings and we will stew on it for at least a week. Katie. Alan. Can I give a shout-out slash welcome to Pittsburgh notice yeah I just thought about being the t. too. Hi it's me DJ horn. Would you wear like a little rhinoceros horn? Yeah I would. Would you wear like a little rhinoceros horn? Yeah I would. Yeah I would. Unicorn horn? You could switch it up yeah I think you could be anything. Yeah I thi to wear a unicorn horn on the forehead and then like a little rhinocourn on the forehead and then like a little. j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j. like a like a like a like a like a little like a little like a little. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. thororororororon. Oh. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. j. J. j. j. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. th. th. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. J. t. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J horn? You can switch it up. Yeah, I think you could be anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I might wear a unicorn horn on the forehead and then like a little kerfone on my nose for a rhinoceros. Yeah. Nice. Buh, baa, wow, wow. Our friend of the podcast, Jamie asked that we give a shout out and Pittsburgh welcome to his girlfriend, Lauren, who just moved Pittsburgh from Denver. Hi Lauren, welcome to Pittsburgh. The air is much, much shittier than it is in Denver. Yeah, it's much thicker. It's much worse for your lungs. Can we say that? Way worse for your lungs? Yeah. Did you move here to be with Jamie? Because I have questions. I want to know how long you been together. I want to know how you met.

Because I'm Nebby. And that's Pittsburgh, Ben. Jamie turned her on to the Dydamic Duo. That is us. Hi. Thanks. And we talk about your podcast every week, he says. Oh, that's adorable. Well, I'm I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. th. tho. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thoom. thoom. thi. thi. thi. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. And that's. that's. that's. that's. And that's. And that's. And that's. And that's. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. too. too. too. that's too. too. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's other. Yeah. And I'm glad Pittsburgh has another cool person.

Yes and yes, and you're not a mile high anymore, so you don't have to worry about that stuff. Yeah. You know, like oxygen and whatnot. I mean, I hope you- There's oxygen. We got oxygen. We have some. We have a bet. We just have other stuff too. Yeah, like chemicals. Dirt. Dirt. Dirt. Dirt. Dirt. Dirt. Dirt. Dirt. Dirt. Dirt. Dirt. Dirt. Dirt. Dirt. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. to the. the. the. the. the. thoooooooooooooooooooooo. to to to You're all so nice. You guys are very, very nice. Speaking of very, very nice, what do you want to do next week?

Uh, I don't know if you're ready for this movie. Or if I'm not? Well, ready or not. Ready or not? Ready or not? Did Lord Hill just walk into this recording attic? I hate myself, go on. We're doing ready or not. Ready or not? Like what, 2019?

2018? Yeah, it was the last movie I saw in the theater before everything shut down. Oh, my friend Tara and I went to see it. I've been back to the theater. Yeah, well, I guess you saw Jackass in the theater. I saw Jackass in the the theater, and I saw, and I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the th, and I th, and I th, and I the th, and I was I was I was I saw, and I saw, and I saw the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, I, I was, I was, I was, I was, I th, I was th, I was th, I was th, I was th, I was th. th. the the at theat, I was theat, I was theat, I was theatera theatera theat, theat, theat, I was theat theat the the the the the the Nile in the theater. Oh yeah you said it was a weird Hercule Perot, poor Poir, wow. I'll just say this. At one point Hercule Poro he's talking to a man who is interested in a woman and he slaps him on the shoulder and like calls him a dog or something like that. That's not, no, David Chouchet would never do that, my friend.

David Tusha would just... I like Kenneth Branaw. What is that face? You love Wallander. I like the Swedish Wallander. A, and B, he broke Emma Thompson's heart. I've never forgiven him for that. All right then. That's the old man thing I'm going to say tonight. That is one of the old men things you're going to say tonight, but that's fine. We'll see you next week. Thanks for listening to another episode of Whirliff Ambulance. Empty. Bye. Bye. Bye. I wanted to say empty again.that's why I set it up. Bye-bye. Empty. Thank you.

You're very welcome. Maybe accent on the pools, Savini's sighting at the pool. Now we do it, let's keep a full-filled preuse. Now we do it, Finland's to fulfill reviews. Get the clouds and levy face. Can't live in space. A few inside casket case, please make I continue to break. The Ante.

A road and comedy reviews hungry, Brian from wings and Stephen Gang. The END We live deliciously bad temperatures of bees recently gone to daddy. A paranova acting td. From Mr. Rogers to me. EFT, EFT.

EFT.