Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 381- Firestarter (2022)

Starting point is 00:00:00 Katie. Alan. It's been a long time since we did a movie that literally challenges us to pay attention to it. It's been a long time since we did a movie that literally challenges us to pay attention to it. You mean rough draft the film, which is insane because they already made this movie? How is this the first draft? It's just, there's, the most exciting thing is that my note app kept changing Zach Afron's

Starting point is 00:00:36 name to Zapp-Effron. Oh, that is exciting, because he doesn't have that K. It's not a name. He's like a half-haf-h-superh-h-h-he-a, th. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. thiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thr-in. W. thrp, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thra, thrp, thrp, thrp, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the-in, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. I I-s I-s I'm-s I'mauu. I'mau. I'm just just-s-s'''auuuuu. I's-s'au. I's-s'au. I'mau. W.-a-supherhero, Zap-Fron. My favorite thing in this movie was how he can't emote because I think he got botched Botox. On his whole goddamn body! On his whole goddamn body! He's a statue. What movie are we doing? Okay, so it occurs to me that the line is, I'm a fire starter.

Starting point is 00:01:04 And not he's a fire starter. He's a fire starter, but I think they should all count. Sure, for sure. So that's two. Fire starter. We're doing fire starter. The movie that came out this month. And God damn it, I wish we weren't.

Starting point is 00:01:21 This is one of those times where Alan made an executive decision. I'll talk about myself in the third person. Well, maybe, yeah, maybe Alan's our assistant, they just don't know about him. I made an executive decision to, oh this will be funny. I was wrong. I mean, it'll be funny while we talk about it. Oh yeah, we're going to have fun. But I thought it would be such a shit show of a film and not paste. What made

Starting point is 00:01:48 you believe that it was going to be a shit show? Oh, is that the F. Rodman? Okay, okay. That is really, yeah, that's a red flag, huh? Yeah. So, full disclosure. I saw the first, the original fire sorter when I was a child. Sure. Because of course, I feel like it was on cable all the time when I was young. Did you then spend time staring at things trying to light them on fire with your brain? I have not yet stopped. But in my mind it's somehow linked with Carrie, I guess because it's, you know, right. Stephen King's Psychic Baby. Who makes fires with brains? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:02:19 Which is such a fantastic film that, you know, good diploma stuff. Yeah. I think fire starter is probably better than in my mind than it actually is. For sure. I don't... And Drew Barrymore, like, yeah, baby Drew Barrymore, there, does it get any better than that? She's so adorable. But is it any good? No idea. Haven't seen it since probably 1986. Okay, yeah, okay. I was the same age. thir. Yeah, I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. te. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. too, you dumb, dummy. We're now the same age. Yeah, I'm 12. You're too. Oh, we've reversed it. We reversed it. The last week has aged me immeasurably. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't even want to get into it. No. We're recording this on Saturday afternoon because I spent too much of Thursday crying to record. Same girl. Yeah. Yeah, so yeah, yeah, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th I'm th I'm th I'm th th th th th thi thi, I'm 12, I'm 12, I'm 12, I'm 12, I'm 12, I'm 12, I'm th th th th th th th th th. I'm th. I'm, I'm, I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm th. I'm 12, I'm 12, I'm 12, I'm 12, I'm 12. I'm 12. I'm 12. I'm 12, I'm 12, I'm 12. I'm 12. I'm 12. I'm 12. I'm 12. I'm 12. I'm 12. I'm 12. I'm 12. I'm th th th. I'm too much of Thursday crying to record. Same girl! Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, hug your friends and tell your loved ones you love them and we love you. Yeah. Wowie, wow, wow. Not to be like, oh parents, but like especially your parent friends because they're shitting themselves right now. For sure. Like really shitting themselves. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. More so than that. Yeah. Yeah. Oh man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh man. Glad I had therapy today, huh?

Starting point is 00:03:26 Oh, yeah, God, you've tunished right when I got here. Uh, yeah. Can we undo all that progress? You did. I mean, I wasn't here. Anyway. Oh, boy. She's a fire starter.

Starting point is 00:03:39 He's a fire starter. I'm a Fiasdata. Wouldn't you like to be a Fiasta too? I wonder if that song's any good. Firestarver? Is it so good? It's still slap? Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:03:53 I'll take that over smack my Bee-By up any day of the week. Yeah. to the Beastie Boys. My kid is so into the Beastie Boys right now. It's wild. The Beastie Boys and the Go Go is. So we're having so much fun. What a great summer soundtrack. Yeah, she's bopping. Wait till she finds out about Polywogs too. The Beastie Boys punk she's going to be so strict. Should I play it for her? A great on Mojo is a fun. A great. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi boy. the thi boy. thi boy. the beast thi boy. thi boys to to to to to to the beast the beast the beast the beast the beast boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy boy. the beast the beast the beast the beast the beast the beast the beast the beast the the the the the the the the the the th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. B. thi. B. thi. B. the thi bso. B. the the the thi got it. It's like minor threat style punk. It's fun. Oh, yeah, she might not like that as much, but we'll see. She's nailed to the X though, right? She's still straight edge, right? Uh, yes and no. I mean, she's smoking cigarettes, does that count? I'm tired of buying new clothes for her. She just keeps growing. Trying to put a came to my house.

Starting point is 00:04:47 I'm actually just texting them right now. I'm like, help! Anyway, Bloom House. This is a Bloom House. Yeah, Blue House. But also weed road productions, which is like, Bow to know, wow, wow, wow. What do you do?

Starting point is 00:05:04 Hey, Corny, what'd you do? Name your production company, Weed Road! Look at yourself in the mirror. You know what I mean? Look at yourself in the mirror. Do you have the problem that I have, and I apologize to everyone I'm about to offend, but someone who brands themselves via weed, I'm like, corny. Yeah, for sure.

Starting point is 00:05:21 Yeah. It's the same people's people's people's people's people people's people's people people people people that's people that's people that's people that's that's that's that's It's the same people like, oh, just like beer snobs, weed clothes, enthusiasts. With the rise of medical marijuana in Pennsylvania, yeah. Everyone I know who smokes a weed is always trying to tell me like, oh, you got this indico, which makes you feel like this and you got this, this, and I'm like, no, I'm like, no, I'm high. I can tell you how it's gonna thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thi thin' thin' thin' th th th th th thi thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' the thi. thi. the the the the thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. theean. thean. theananananan'a'a'eateateateateateateate. th. thean. thean. thean. the high. I can tell you how it's gonna make me feel. The answer is high. But at this point, I feel like it would be like if I was like, you all fuck who's Zoloft? Yeah. It's just medicine, y'all. It's a prescription.

Starting point is 00:05:52 Yeah. I mean, though I will debate the Adam and and I on Thursday were taking turns crying so that one of us could answer the phone. Yeah. And I said to her, God, I must be really sad to be able to cry this hard on a dose of Symbalta this high. She was like, my God. Hey, so what prescription meds are you guys on?

Starting point is 00:06:20 Are we bringing HIPAA right now by just shouting out our prescriptions? You can always, I'm not telling them yours, you're not telling them mine. Exactly, exactly. Was this movie brought to you by spicy mayonnaise? I don't know why. Why would you say that? Because when this movie started it said, brought to you by Helmans, Spi Manaillane. to you by Helmens, spi maillanase? That's a hot th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, they, thi, they, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi's to to to to to to to toa. toea. thiiiiiiiiiiiiii's they's thi. thi. I thi. Holy shit. Helmins is making a spicy mayonnaise, huh? Spicy mayonnaise. That's a hot tip because I love mayonnaise a lot. You can make spicy mayonnaise at home yourself. Yeah, but or I could have someone else do it for me. Yeah, exactly. Like Mr. Helman. Bring out the best. Bring out the best. Why is no one paying? This episode is brought to my spicy mayonnaise. Hell yeah it is. It just sounds like spicy food for white people. Yeah I mean check and point right. Anyway you can't don't put

Starting point is 00:07:10 your baby to bed wearing a hat or covered by a blanket. Why don't you people care about safe sleep? Why doesn't it matter the baby's gonna be on fire in mere minutes? Yeah. Oh so mom's putting the baby to bed in a hot in a hat and a blanket? You can't end both and you cannot do that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that that that that that that th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to the the the to to to to to to to to to to check. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I I I to check. I I to check. I to check. I I to check. I I to check. I I to check. I to check. I to check. I to check. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I to to to th. Yeah. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to the th. mom's putting the baby to bed in a hot, in a hat, end or blanket. You can't end both, and you cannot do that. And then zap, Ephraim's into the room. Stairs blankly into the middle distance. So the woman who plays his wife is... Sidney Lemon I think? Yes, Sidney Lemon as Victoria, Vicky, Thomas and McGee. I've never seen her

Starting point is 00:07:46 in anything else that I know of. I tried to watch a Hulu show that she was on that was recommended to me. I got like a couple episodes in and just didn't grab me. I was convinced that she is made of paper mishay and not a real human being. Because she's like perfect looking. She's perfect looking and has like zero charisma. It's like, she. She's like, she, she, she, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's just like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. She's like, th. She's like, th. She's like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, like, like, like, perfect looking and has like zero charisma. It's like, she's just like a blank slate. She was on that TV show too, because she's like meant to be like a sociopath or something. And so she just, which is perfect for her because she does not emote. Yeah. And neither does he.

Starting point is 00:08:18 I thought, why did you guys even have a baby? I mean, this movie should be called Why Did You Have a Baby? We just loved each other so much. Oh my God, he's like Data. But I guess Data can fuck. I mean, he probably looked at him and was like, yeah, I want to fuck him. I would like to fuck Zap-Effron. Yeah, I guess you could fuck Zap-Effron. He's not going to look, wrapped up like a duche.

Starting point is 00:08:45 Can I do that. And then, baby lights on fire. Lights everything on fire. I like how later the implication is that the baby does that because she's mad that she gets left. Yeah. Just cry, baby. Why cry when you can fry? I guess.

Starting point is 00:09:04 Because she very nearly ends the movie right there by setting her solar system mobile on fire and it falls on top of her. And that's that. And I wrote probably a metaphor for global warming. It's been a while since I watched this movie, so my notes are a mystery to me. But then Zepafron wakes up and he was having a premonition dream and she actually hadn't lit herself on fire yet. Wait.

Starting point is 00:09:32 Because he runs into her room and saves her. Before she lights herself. Oh, that's what happened. But before he gets to her room, he walks out of his bedroom and pulls on a shirt and gets to his nipple and stops and just, this camera, you get in these apps, you, the ap, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I's, and I's, and I's, and I's, and I's, and I's, and I's, and I's th, and I's th. And I's th. And I's, and I'm th. And, and I'm th. And, and I's, and I's, and I's, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, th. And, th. And, th..... And, th.. And, th.... And, th.. And, th.. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th stops and just this camera you get in these you getting these abs yeah I'm gonna pull it down now you get it you want to pull it back up pull back down yeah this isn't the shirt I want I wanted that shirt I mean he's insanely ripped that's fine yeah that's he his personality there's a scene later when he's offering to make pancakes for his wife and daughter, and I went, bullshit, you have not touched a fucking pancake in years. And you don't cook, Zach F, excuse me, Zap, Fron.

Starting point is 00:10:14 My next note says, no subtitles, so I'm gonna have to guess. Same. Why though? Subtitles kicked in halfway through the movie, and I was like, thank you. Really? I couldn't get them to work at any point so I have no idea what was said. Yeah, hey, uh, Peacock, you listening? Get your subtitle game on point. Hey, Peacock, we spent years and punk bands. I cannot hear a fucking thing. I know it's just a dull roar all the time.

Starting point is 00:10:37 Oh, also he's got that 12-pack and his kid later is like you said you'd quit smoking and it's like what is he smoking while he's doing like pull-up after pull-up now fuck you kid fuck you zap-effron fuck you movie whatever happened to the dad bud where is the dad but I feel like it came and went like a thief in the night yeah there was just that point in time where it was already to be a little ponchy I think because women pushed back being like, well, why can't we have mom bods? And everyone was like, oh, no, that's not acceptable. I gotta tell you, 100% on board for the mom bonds. Yeah, well, me too, has a, have her of a mom bod. And I just don't, I just don't think, we don't think, we don't think, we're think, we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're that we're that we're that we're that we're that we're that we're that we're that we're that we're that we're that we're that we're that we're that we're that we're that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that we're that's that's that's that's that's that's that's not that's not that's not that's not that.. that's not that. that's not that's not that. that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's that's not that's not to diverge at talk about shit-ass Jordan Peterson. Oh my god, why are you putting his name in your mouth?

Starting point is 00:11:27 Did you see that thing where he left Twitter because he insulted that beautiful, beautiful, beautiful person on the cover of Sports Illustrated? Yeah. And the theory was that he tried cranking it to her. He couldn't make his dick work so he got mad. I don't even buy that because she's very hot. She's beautiful. I couldn't get to her if I tried hard enough. I think he didn't like her because she is not white. Oh yeah, yeah that could be. Yeah, yeah. And if you're mad about me shit-talking Jordan Peterson, you've never listened to our show anyway. You're not even here. I will conclude with the dryness of Ben Javiro's wife. I just think. I that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could that could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could could that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. I will will will will will will will will will will th. I will th. I will th. I will th. I will thin th. I will thin th. I thin th. I th. I thin th. I th. I will thi. I will thi. I will th. Yeah. I will th. Yeah's wife. I just think that the Venn diagram of us and Jordan Peterson is like

Starting point is 00:12:05 a six foot gap. You know what I mean? I hope and pray. Anyway, she's a via a daughter. Something feels weird in my body. Oh, you should talk to your mother about that. You're not ready to have that discussion with your daughter. Yeah. I think Rob would react the same way. Great dad. I think he would react this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I to. I to. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the to the the to to the to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the hope and I hope and I hope and hope and hope and pray the hope and pray the hope and pray the hope and pray the hope and pray the hope and pray the hope and pray the hope and pray the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I hope. I hope. I hope. Hope and hope. I hope and th. I hope. Hope and to to to to tho tho. I hope. I hope. I hope. I hope. I hope. I hope the the think Rob would react the same way. Great dad. I think he would react the same way. He still gets confused by periods, I don't know. It's so confusing about them. I'm joking.

Starting point is 00:12:36 Rob's the best. I know. She does say, she says, the bad thing. You're like, for fuck's sake, take another pass at this draft. Look at it. Take a nap. Look at it again. Have your friend look at it. You don't have to write it all down and then immediately film it.

Starting point is 00:12:52 I think if they were filming and writing at the same time. I will say that Ryan Kira Armstrong playing Charlene, Charlie McGee, all right Wikipedia. Marley McGee, all right Wikipedia, we get if they have real first names, the nickname that they go by is fine. It doesn't matter. Was probably the best actor of the family. She was good and adorable. Yeah. And very captivating.

Starting point is 00:13:13 Yes, yes. I thought she was, and she, that's a hard, this is a hard role for a kid. Sure. And when she was feeling her spicy mao, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th, th, th, th, th, the, th, the, the, the, the, th, th, the, the, the, th. the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thi. thea. thi. thi. thi. thi. my spicy mayo. I'm gonna put that in my pocket. Justin Gray if you want to make a feeling your spicy mayo t-shirt. See, to me, feeling my spicy mayo is like getting a little too drunk. Oh. Something that's not going to agree with me in the morning but like yelling around happily about it, you know? See for me, feeling my spicy mayo to the the the spicy mayo to me is drunk ready to take on the world. I'm feeling my spicy Mayo right now. Actually, you know what it is? Feeling my spicy Mayo is drunk enough to dance. Helmens. In public. In public. Helmin's spicy mayo, drunk enough to dance. Thanks, Helmens. Great

Starting point is 00:13:58 wedding guys. So we cut to the opening credits, which is being played over the exposition of the film, which are videos from experiments that were conducted on the parents from this movie. They're meant to be in college. He does not look, he looks 35 as he is. Yeah. His beard is a little less boy band so you're supposed to believe that he is just like a kind of a hippie. Oh okay. Right and he's got kind of long hair. Yeah maybe I don't. Yeah, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, th. Yeah. Yeah, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that are that are th th are th are th are th are th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th, which are th, which are th, which are th, which are th, which are th are th are th are th are th are th are th are th are th are th are th are th are th are th are th are that are that are that are that are that that that are that thi are that that that that that that that that are that are that are that are that are that are th believe that he is just like a kind of a hippie. Oh, okay. Right? And he's got kind of long hair. Yeah, maybe, I don't know.

Starting point is 00:14:28 Yeah, he's, uh, doesn't want to talk about his psychic powers. Whatever. So this like largely follows the plot of the original, right? That's what it was. It was experiments on these people, and then their daughter was... I don't think we learned that in the opening sequence, if I remember, Greg, I think that comes out later, but I could be wrong. It could have been a reveal as opposed to the setup. Yeah, yeah. Also in the beginning, in the opening credits, we learned that John Carpenter and company did the soundtrack to this movie. That's my next note. Yeah. And I will have to say, kind of the to his kid to be like, can you just send this to them? And he was like, Dad, fine. Just some jush. Just give it a jush Cody. And I am not shit talking John Carpenter. I would have given them castoffs

Starting point is 00:15:13 as well after I saw the movie. Yeah, you think he even saw the movie? Or you think he was was like, prodigy guys dead, huh? All right, I'll do it. She's a fire starter. He's like, yeah, just I'm going to light the cigarette and then we'll go ahead and do this. I hope you're not still smoking John Carpenter. Come on, buddy. John Carpenter's not going to quit now. It's true. And for the long to be. the long. tho. to quit. to quit. to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to tho. to to to tho. to to to to tho. to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to to to to to to light. to light. to light. the to light. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to light. to light. to light. to light. to light. to to to to the the the the the the the to light. to light. to light. to light. to light. to to to light. the to light. the to the too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. to to ue. I'm going to be great if it was. Speed is the only thing keeping you alive. Just imagining your doctor being like, I'm sorry, you're just going to have to stay on speed. It's just... But if there's one human being that could

Starting point is 00:15:55 happen to it was let me kill Meister. You can tell I don't remember much of this movie because I'm diverging all over the g g g g g g g g. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You the the th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You can can can can can can. You can can th. You can can can can can th. You can th. You can th. You can can can can th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the th. th. the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. the the the the next note says, did that person pull their eyes out? I guess I don't care. They did. Yeah. Yeah. Why? Because of the telekinetic experiments I guess. That's dumb. Yeah. Do all the teleconetic experiments on me because I'm tired of standing up to get things. Quick question. Yeah. Would you let yourself be hypnotized? Uh, no, because I don't believe it's real. Really? You don't believe in the power of suggestion? No.

Starting point is 00:16:31 An unconscious thought? Mm-mm. Really? Yeah. See, now I think we should take you to a hypnotist. Maybe we can do another charity drive. OK. Yeah, maybe we'll do one for the the the the tha. tha. thiiiiiiiia. thi-a. thi-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s. th-s. th-s. th-o-o-s. thi-o-o-s. thi-s. to-s. to-in to-in'-in'-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-n, thi-n, thi-n, th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, to to to to to to-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s. Yeah, to-s. Yeah, to-sa-sa-s-sa-sa-sa-s. Yeah, to-s. Yeah, to-s. Yeah, I mean, we'll do one for the Western PA, uh, what's it? Fun for choice.

Starting point is 00:16:48 Yeah, fun for choice. I'm gonna get that guy from the Renfair, you know what I'm talking about? You fucking know I do. I'll only do it if topsy of these thiys. Thea, I'll only do it if Tom's a th happen because all of these things are in our reach. Yeah, exactly. I mean yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I have never believe, I've always thought that hypnotism was bullshit. I see I believe it, yeah, that's why I wouldn't do it. Yeah, I'll do it an heartbeat. All right. Because it's not gonna work. Okay. Well, you have to believe, I mean, 15 seconds of to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thr- I've thi, I've thi, I thi, I've the th th th th th tho tho tho tho thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've the the. I've th. I've th. I've th. I th. I th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, I thi, I've thi, I've thi, I've always always thi, I've always thooooooooooooooooooooooooooe. I the. Irap over here. My brain is just filled with spicy mayo-gain. So yeah, I mean, 15 seconds of hypnotism does it for this lady who's trying to quit smoking. This is such an uncomfortable scene.

Starting point is 00:17:32 Yes. Because it feels like he's going to try to fuck her. Either that or it felt like she was setting him up to be like, you're talking bullshit. actually a reporter and I'm getting you for like there was just this tension between the two of them I've read that so differently than you did and then I like that I read it that the man was gonna hurt the woman and you read it like this woman was gonna try to hurt this man oh interesting yeah oh he just I'm gonna try to fuck you vibes my name's my today thin' thinn't th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tham tham tham tham tham tham tham tham tham tham tham tham tham tham tham tham tham tham tham tham tham tham tham tham tham tham th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th th th the tha tha tha to to to to tha to tha tha to tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha turn away from your drink. Are you talking about Andrew Andy, McGee? Are you serious right now? I could have pieced that together, Wikipedia.

Starting point is 00:18:11 I could use context clues. Andy. Gosh, what could that be short for? So his eye starts bleeding right after I wrote the note? Because he does the hypnotism, the woman leaves after she pays him $75 of the hundred he asked for her, and then he stands up and goes, huh? And it was like, oh my God, hypnotism makes him have to poop. You've got to go right this second. It's not that's spicy mayo. You have to go so badly your eye is bleeding. Imagine holding a poop. Imagine holding a poop.

Starting point is 00:18:48 Imagine holding a poop. Imagine holding a the poop. the poop. the poop. the poop. the poop. the poop. the poop. the poop. the poop. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thup. thup and the th and thup and thup and thup and the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the th th th th th th th and goes and goes and goes and goes and goes and goes and goes and goes and goes and goes and goes and goes and the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th and goes th and th. th and th. thin, thin, thin thin thin thup. thu thin thu thu thu thu thin thu thu thu thu thin thu thu thu thu isn't that that was in the next files episode. Not holding your poop. No where the guys like they find the guy in the bathroom stall and I think it's the episode with, oh fuck, it's like it's told from both Mulder and Scully's perspective. With Luke Wilson? Yeah, and there's like these bugs that are killing people. Yeah, the bug one the guy in the bathroom and Scully's like like like. It is like. It is like. It is like. It is. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the guy. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. I. the. I. I. I. I. the. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. too. too. too. too. too. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the, the bug one. Yeah, and they find the guy in the bathroom and Scully's like, is one of his eyes bloodshot? Yeah, he was straining too hard. So that's what happened to Zach Ephraim. Excuse me, zap. And so we then cut to Charlie, sorry. Charlene. Charlie. Charley. At school being harassed by a ginger boy. She's a cute little button. She's so excited to dissect that frog. Yeah. And her teacher says to her, all you had to do was Google it, and she goes, I don't have

Starting point is 00:19:37 Google. We don't know why, but she says she doesn't have Google. And her teacher says, I think a little screen time would be just fine. Might help your grades a little too. Ouch. First of all, Charlie's giving it her all out here. Second, as we learn, she's meant to be Amish. So if this teacher believes her to be Amish, that's her, don't fuckingtime. Honestly, because they do say Amish.

Starting point is 00:20:07 Because she says she's Amish. No, the Ginger Boy accuses her of being Amish. She agrees. Oh, does she? I think so. I didn't notice, yeah. Because they keep, be going to an English school. They would only go to an Amish school.

Starting point is 00:20:31 That's true. I mean, I want to be real clear with you, I also had the baseball game on a second screen. Like I said, at the beginning, this movie was challenging you to pay attention to it. I bet you can't do it. I couldn't. The virus were were the and I was like, well this is fine. I'll just keep watching watching that. Oh, so yeah this kid is really rude to her and then there's a dodgeball game and that's never going to end well. I hate watching dodgeball scenes and movies. And it's so sad because she's so happy to throw it at somebody. the ginger-I. I. I the the the the the thin thin thin thin thin the thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin' thin' thin' to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thoes. I thoes. I thoes. I tho tho thoo the. I thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I to to to to to And she's going to throw it at somebody? She's like, yay, I'm gonna do it. How's it go for? Someone, the ginger kid smashes are in the head. Yeah. And it's just... It's so sad. I mean how can you not feel for a little

Starting point is 00:21:14 baby childgirl? Especially when she's such a button. Yeah. These other kids kids such a dick. Anyway, that's the point where I realized, oh this is the plot is the plot is the plot is the plot is the plot is the plot is the plot is the plot is the plot is the p p p p. the the th is thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. the the thi. thi. thi. the thi. thi. thin, I's the thin' the the the the the the the the their their the the their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the thin. I's thin. I's thin. I's thin. thin. thin. things. things. things. things. things. things. things. th. thin. th. th. th. the the the the the the th. th's to the point where I realized, oh, this is the plot of Frozen, because they're doing the whole conceal it, don't feel it, don't let it show, you know, with the powers? You know what I'm talking about? You know what I'm talking about? I never seen no frozen. Okay, well, the plot of Frozen is that Elsa has these powers that she was born with, that are controlled controlled by her emotions. And so growing up, her parents segregate her from other people. And they tell her, conceal it, don't feel it, don't let it show. And she has to wear gloves to keep her, because she has like an icy touch, basically.

Starting point is 00:21:55 And then I was like, oh, fuck. Frozen is just, even though it's based on a tale called the Ice Queen by Hans Christian Anderson. No, it's fucking Fire Starter. Stephen Kang's frozen. So basically what happened is, Stephen Kang read the Ice Queen, made fire starter. Disney saw Fire Starter, made frozen. Oh, here we go. Do you think Disney was on as much cocaine as Stephen King allegedly was when he wrote fire starter? much cocaine as Stephen King allegedly was when he wrote Fire Starter. Is this the one he doesn't remember writing?

Starting point is 00:22:25 No, I believe, well, I believe it's Tommy Knockers that he doesn't remember writing, which is an insanely long book. And I don't think he remembers directing Maximum Overdrive. Really? Because he was on so much cocaine to some time. Because it's just a cocaine fever dream. Starring Emilio Este. You know I do I do want that it it it it it it it it it's it it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's that it's that it's that it's that it's that it's that it's that it's that it's that it's that it's that it's that it's that it's that's that's that's th. I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. I th. I that's th. I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi thi. I thi. I the thi. I the the the thi. I thi the thooooooo. I thoooo' thoo' tho' tho' thi. I thi. I that. We have to do that movie at some time because it's just a cocaine fever dream. Some sweet day. Starring Emilio Estevez. You know I do want to fuck Emilio Estevez. I'm like this show has just become wood.

Starting point is 00:22:54 Would? The Katie story. Eight years in I have nothing left to say. Would or wouldn't? Yeah, I'd fuck up whatever. Anyway. I feel strongly about Emilio. So she runs under the bathroom as not to kill the ginger kid. Right. So she hides and locks herself away in a bathroom stall.

Starting point is 00:23:13 And then... The ginger kid also calls her a freak right in front of the teacher, which I thought was a very bold move. Yeah. Yeah, I really do that. And the teacher's like, I mean, don't, no, don't, no, don't, I mean, you're absolutely a freak, but he shouldn't say that to you. Hard to agree, but. She blows that teacher across the bathroom. Yeah, it blows her the fuck up. And the teacher says, holy shit, and that's a comedy hit, you know, you're supposed to laugh at that. She should have said, She should have said, uh, what is it from? Funky bu bu funky the the the the the th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's a th. She's a th. She's, th. She's, th. She's, to say, th. She's, to say, but to from, uh, funky butt-loving? What's the effort from the... What do you the year? Funky, butt-loving. God bless Daniel Stern, though.

Starting point is 00:23:49 Funky, butt-loving. Oh, my next note says, this is not as intriguing as they think it is. Oh, and they keep calling her, uh, saying she's doing the push, to push it down? Yes. It's like, the the the the the th. It's like th. It's like, like, like, like, is like, is like, is like, is like, is like, is like, is like, is like, is like, is like, thii. thi-a. thi-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-in-in-a-a-in-a-but-a-but-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a. th. th. th. th. th. thii-a-a-a-a-a-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fuuui-fuui-fuuui-fuuuu-luu-lu-lu-luu-lu-luuu-luuu-luuu-fuu. th-fu. it's like, is this Lamaz? What is happening right now? Yeah, I don't know. Because of the explosion, the fireball that she unleases on the teacher, Dad realizes they have to go on the run because the bad man are going to find them. Right. And they, he and his wife are having a parenting argument where he thinks she should Elsa it. Right. And the mom thinks is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi's is thi's is the thi's the thi's thi's the the thi's the the thi's the the the thi's thi. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. What. What., where he thinks she should Elsa it, and the mom thinks they should teach her to use it and control it, right, which is obviously the better choice. Just sensible thing to do it, of course. Yeah, yeah. Luckily this isn't going to come back and bite mom. Yeah, which like later, so okay, okay, we'll get to it. Yeah, so she, they finally tell her why they can't they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi that that that that that the thi. thi. thi. that that that that that that thi. thi. thi. thi. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the, the. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. theeeeeee. the. the. they finally tell her why they can't have a cell phone or Wi-Fi.

Starting point is 00:24:45 Yeah. And then she should really have planned this conversation better. Like this feels like a conversation you'd be having in your head every day. Sure. But they're like, so fucking bad at it. Yeah. Yeah. And she lights mom on fire. I forget why. In a fit of rage about some, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, thi, thi, they's, they's, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, they's, they's, they're, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. they're they're they're thi. they're they're they're they're they're thi. they're they're they're thi. they're they're they're they're they're they're thi. I forget why. In a fit of rage about some, because she doesn't want to leave maybe.

Starting point is 00:25:05 Oh right, because her dad, Zap Efron is being such a fucking dick in this scene. For sure. Because he's like, you don't want to be like this tough look and it's like she's a baby. You don't yell that it's your baby. You two of your zap. He pulled his shirt up and he pulled his the shirt. You know how hard. You. He the the the the the th. He th. He th. You th. You th. He th. You know how. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's the th. He's the the the the th. Zap. Zap. Zap. Zap. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. He's is is is is is is th. He's is. He's is. He's is. He's is. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's the. He's the. Zap. Zep. Zep. Zep. Zep. Zep. Zep. Zep. Zep. Zep. Zap. Zap. Zap. Zap. Zap. Zap. Zap. He I've worked for these? Discipline! You need discipline! And to be born rich! Slaps a piece of bread out of her hand. Sets it on fire with his brain. So she lights mom on fire. Oh, this sucks. Mom goes into shock. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, when you see mom's hands later and they're just like bubbly-bibblii. When they do the home skin graft? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And then Charlie calls 911, but hangs up.

Starting point is 00:25:49 Yeah. Cut to my favorite character in the whole movie. Captain Jane Hollister. She is bad. Really bad. Like, I was like, this woman could not have ever worked before. And then she's a TV actor. Yeah, she's on like one of those medical shows. Right, that was like an episode a week. You know, she worked a lot. How is she so bad? Okay. So I'm gonna throw the director

Starting point is 00:26:21 under the bus at this point. Because this is too many actors that have been in other films. Yeah. Zapafron was in Baywatch the movie. That's a heart strings pooling meditation on motherhood and grief. Yeah, well we call it a heart tug job. Oh, I like that a lot. You can't be in a movie with Rock the Duane Johnson without being a great actor. I know you think he's a terrible actor.

Starting point is 00:26:51 I think he's the most charismatic man on earth. Yes, that's what he rings to the table. Yes, no one's asking him to like, he's not doing a remake of Schindler's Fist. It would be called Schindler's Fist and he would punch all the Nazis. Oh my god, can we make this movie? Copyright, copyright, copyright. Shinler's Fist. We make this movie that's definitely disrespectful to the Holocaust. One-hung-o. Everyone else gets to do it. I'm just kidding, that's incredibly insensitive. So Captain, I'm going to call a Dr. Jane Hollister. Captain Jane Hollister calls in an assassin named Rainbird. Which we see because there's like a pan up his bare back

Starting point is 00:27:29 and his tattoo, and for one hot second, I thought his back piece was a treasure map and I was stoked for the rest of this movie. Michael Grayon is just gonna go find the Declaration of Independence. And then I was like, maybe I just really want to be watching National Treasure. Is that what it's called? I've never seen it. Oh my god, we have to add that to the list of movies we do for Action Movie podcast. We'll use your idea next month.

Starting point is 00:27:51 We'll use your idea. theynex that. And here, again, I don't think I've ever seen the director, to be, to be, to be, the director, to be, to be, to be, the, to be, to be, the, to be to be to be to be the, to be to be the, to be to be to be to be the, to be to be to be a, tres, the, to bea, tha, is called, is called, is called, is called, is called, is called, is called, is called, is called, is called, is called. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. to bea, to bea, to bea, to bea, to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be a. to be a. to be a. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to a badass name. Sure is. But he's a great actor. OK. I don't think I've ever seen him in anything else. He's most recently was in that TV show Rutherford Falls, with Ed Helms and a mostly indigenous Native American cast. It's really good. Yeah. He plays a casino owner, and he's very good in it.

Starting point is 00:28:19 But it's just like... He's incredibly flat in this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't understand his character for one second. Oh no, he's like a teleconetic assassin. Right, but then why does he do what he does at the end? Yep. Teleconetic assassin. And Dr. Jane Hollister says to him, but that was the old guard. I'm the new. And it's just like, I guess we can throw the writer under the bus here to be because to be because hear. th. the thus. the the thus. the the th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the. thi. the the the the th. the heat. heat. heat. heat. heat. heat. heat. heat. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. tel. tel. tel. tel. tel. tel. tel. tel. tel. tel. tel. tel. tel. tel. he. t. t bus here too because there's just no, I mean, I'm not the most subtle person in the world, far be it from me to criticize someone for a lack of subtlety. But holy ghost! Ma'am, Dr. Jane Hollster is a friend of mine and you are no Dr. Jane Hollster. She's just like, her, her affect, everybody is so flat. It should have been called flat starter. She's a flat starter.

Starting point is 00:29:05 Doesn't sound the same. It's just like, oh man, wow. Wow, wow, wow. For a movie where everyone's acting with the subtlety of having nothing on their face so you have to guess. Yeah. Maybe it's because they all have a like, ESP and they can all talk to each other in their brain pans.

Starting point is 00:29:26 They don't want to include the people watching it home and that? Maybe. I mean I have to say that led to me watching a baseball game. So. There were two points in this movie where I was like, oh fuck, I just been like doomscrolling Twitter. I have to go back and rewind this movie and watch the 10 minutes I missed. You didn't have to do that. You didn't have to do that for me anyway. Thank you. I did it for the listeners. You're welcome. You're welcome.. A cop comes to the door because there was a 911 call that got hung up and the police will come and check that out. And mom keeps hearing a noise?

Starting point is 00:30:14 And then we find out that Rainbird is in the house after the cop leaves. Well, he kills all the cops. Does he killed the cops in this part? Oh, I don't know, he kills the cops in something. Later, yeah, that guy's house. Oh, never mind then. Spoiler alert for later cop murder. Yeah, I'm here for cop murder, frankly. And he apparently has telekinesis as well, neither of them is real, so okay. Sorry? I'm sorry, hypnotism? I cannot wait till you're clucking like a chicken.

Starting point is 00:30:52 I think I don't want to believe it's real because the idea of someone being able to do that to me is fucking terrifying. That's why I'm not going to submit to it. Because I believe it, and it will thaaaaae thae thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to to to thi thi thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.aa.a. I thiiiiiiiiii. I thii. I to to to thi I believe it and it will happen to me. You believe in miracles. It's a game around. So he's in the house. He has telepathy. He's talking to mom or figure out what mom wants to do. And then he stabs or shoots. I don't know. They come back and she's dead. Yeah. And Charlie tells dad that he was trying to set him on fire. Or she was trying to set him on fire?

Starting point is 00:31:31 Yeah. Which is not what you want to hear from your child. I was actually trying to kill you. I mean, I would to have a great relationship. No, or a relationship? Yeah, because he's a robot. Mm-hmm. I want to say the child actor is not flat. She's very dynamic.

Starting point is 00:31:51 No, no, I think her youthful enthusiasm is breaking through whatever the rest of the movie is trying to tap down, trying to push. They could not your emotions down. And they come, I can't, why did they leave? Where did they go to get ice cream or something? I think so. Okay. And, uh... Then the carpenter score kicks in on her mom's dead body. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:32:13 And the house is burning down. Yeah. And, uh, Rainbird hides his eyes because he knows they can't affect him if they can't see his eyes, which is the first time we learned that. Right, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Although earlier in the movie when Zapp is doing the hypnosis on the woman, he's like, look me in the eyes, look me in the eyes. And like both of their pupils dilate at the same time. They're making eye love. Maybe that's why I thuuu gonna fuck. Deep eye contact leads to. No, because pupils dilate. When you want to fuck your pupils dilate, it's true.

Starting point is 00:32:50 Give, Google it. I'm not questioning you. I didn't like the look on your face. You want me to wipe my face off my fucking face? Have your face off your fucking head, bitch. God, I love patron-sane to this podcast. God, so many of them that we love. I wrote, Can't Understand What the Disembodied Voice is saying to him in the shower, but

Starting point is 00:33:12 it's probably not important. So Captain Jane Hollister goes to see red from that 70s show. Yeah, and she says, so-and-so doesn't have the legs for this outfit, which she says because we spent that scene watching her walk into the house from the feet up for no reason. It's just very, very like, I've got an idea. Let's just film it. Yeah. Want to do another take? Huh? Want to tell something else? We're going to run out of film on these digital cameras. So we got to keep going. Clock's ticking baby. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. C clock. C clock??? C clock. the clock? C. the clock? C. the clock? the clock? the clock? th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to thi. to to th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to. to. so. soe. soe. soe. to. to to to to to to to to to to to theee. the. the. th's ticking baby. Yeah, yeah. We see Charlie finally practicing her telekinesis. Well yeah yeah she is. And she finds that cat that's all looking like Glenn. And then does what you wanted to do to Glenn for years. Well Glenn would never attack a child. He would not. No he would not. No he would not. Enzo on the other hand. I had to, I had to, I was to, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I to, I to, I to, I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, to to to to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the the the the. the the the. the the. the the. the the. the. the. the. the. He would not. No, he would not. Enzo on the other hand.

Starting point is 00:34:07 I had to, I was talking to her friend about this movie, and I was saying I knew that this movie was like, it's so unentertaining to me because when a cat lit on fire, I laughed at it. Yeah. And I was like, oh, it's because something happened. Well, like, she's had some on fire because he scratches her. Yeah. She didn't mean to. It was like her.

Starting point is 00:34:26 She couldn't control her feelings. Yeah. And he's laying on the ground. And she and her dad are talking over the body. And the cat's like, have the heartfelt talk later. I'm literally smoldering. I look like right now. You gotta turn your hat around backwards so you can win the arm wrestling tournament, Charlie.

Starting point is 00:34:52 You gotta kill her. Kill it, kill it, Charlie, kill them all. And so she does, she finishes lighting the cat on fire to death. Well, here's where I started my diatriety about the corporate lady being thia thia thia thine thine thine thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to fire to death. Welp. Yeah. Oh, here's where I started my diatribe about the corporate lady being a terrible actor. For acting is not just blinking, Margaret. You talk about Captain Jane Holster? I do love also that Red Foreman says that thing about like, she may be capable of, and he like leans forward. Long pause. Creating a nuclear explosion. You're just like, what?

Starting point is 00:35:33 By definition, she is not. Doesn't he say at some point that the child was brain fucked from birth? Because I have the note brain fucked from birth is the name of my autobiography. Oh, I thought it was going to be the, our new punk band. Both. The punk band is going to be out to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to be the the the their to be their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi explosion a thi. A thi, thi, th. A th. A th a th, th, th, th, th, th, th a nuclear th a nuclear th a nuclear th. A th a nuclear th. A th. A th a nuclear th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A thi, thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. A thi. I thi. Nuclear thi. I thi. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. Nuclear thi. thi of my autobiography. I thought it was going to be our new punk band. The punk band is going to be out there to hype up the autobiography. Yeah, we can open for boy come agreement. No! I thought I would never hear it again. No.

Starting point is 00:35:58 Shakes fist at Eli. But yeah, okay, so they're having this conversation, the dad and daughter, and he's like, you know what, your mom wanted, she wanted you to learn to use your powers, and I didn't let her, and now she's dead as a result, but don't worry, I'm not going to take any responsibility for that whatsoever. He doesn't even acknowledge that it's his fault that she's dead. Hmm. They didn't even acknowledge that it's his thoombibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibib. thah. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. thi. thi. thi. tho. tho. tho- tho- to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. their their their their their their their their thoooooooooooo. to to to to to going on? I think they had a very unhappy marriage. Oh man. Yeah. They do bury the cat at least, which they didn't give them to mom. That's true. Yeah, they left mom behind. Because they say a little prayer for the cat and the girls like, can we say something

Starting point is 00:36:37 from mom too I guess? No. Who? Have you seen my abs? This is your mom now. Just watch board tubby. Go make pancakes. So dad uses his telekinetic kidneycese, to make a man drive them to Boston. So he, so, so what was, so, Charlie can set things on fire with her brain. Yeah. Because she is a fire starter. Dad can make people do whatever he wants. Uh-huh. What was moms? She can move stuff with their mind. Got it. Yeah, yeah. She had teleconices. Got it. Yes, not pyrokinesis like Charlie has. Or telepathy like dad has. I, most of my notes are just like notes to you like, well, what, Alan, what would you do if you could make people do anything you wanted? Oh man, that'd be a bad scene, right? Like, that'd be a bad scene for anybody to have that power. I just can't even think of anything, you know?

Starting point is 00:37:37 Like, that I would actually do. Give me a Snickers bar. I was gonna say, like, yes, I th th th th th th th th I would th th th th th I would th th th th th th th th th th th that that that that that that that that that that that that that thi thi, thi, thi, thi, that thi, thi, thi, thi, that that that that that tho, that that that tho, that th that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. tha. -Eleven runs but like that's just what go-puff is I just tip someone to basically do that for me your telepathy is just capitalism. Yeah bring me cheese it's Fuck I like can't exist in a house with cheese. They are my kryptonite Put them directly into my veins. It's so good. I'm a mess. Just cooking up a cheese that's on a spoon. Could I? So, but the guy's who had to take them to Boston, who is also an actor I've seen in other things?

Starting point is 00:38:19 Yeah. And he's very good. That's true. He is, is that Irv, John Beasley? Irv Manders? So the dad convinces him to do that but his eyes don't bleed this time. Why? I don't know. They certainly bled when he convinced that woman to stop smoking. Yeah. Okay. But then Irv is like, I don because his wife is hooked up to life support equipment in the house. Yeah. I wrote, cold beer is such a nice phrase because he says to him, cold beer?

Starting point is 00:38:52 I thought, gosh, that's just such a pretty phrase in the English language. But then you have to be like, I don't know, is it like an IPA? Or what do you have to like anytime anyone says to me cold beer my answer is almost always yeah yeah yeah Charlie is outside playing she went outside to mess around like the kid from burnt-off rings and she eventually ends up crawling through a window back in the house because she hears someone yes and this is the wife who is not listed in my name of characters it doesn't matter I thought oh she just found a dead body okay mm-hmm she's not she's not she's a woman who's a woman who also to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to the the the to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to me to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the kid the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. thi thi te te. te. te. te. te. te. thi. dead body. Okay. She does not. She's not. She's a woman who also has the shining, I guess, and is able to talk to her and tell her what's going on. Oh so she has telepathy too. It seems. Okay. Yes. Elsie, yes. E. E. I knew I'd find it. that's right. Uh, Essie. Esse, Essie. Yeah, I knew I'd find it. Yeah, that's good. So when she comes out of the bedroom, Irv gets really mad.

Starting point is 00:39:49 Yeah. And then he calms down and he says, oh, how rude of me. Which is like, just learn to write dialogue. Take a class, read a book. the book. Like, Charlie, we should probably, we should probably, we should probably, buggy. You should probably buggy. Just get on my washboard abs and I'll washboard us out of this place. Maybe, I'm sure this man has a bicycle, you could convince him to let you take and then she can ride on your abs.

Starting point is 00:40:14 the inside, but Charlie Like. Because dad's like, doesn't it hurt when you use your powers that she says, but I like it. Oh yeah, it feels kind of good too. Yeah. That's why I've heard you on the inside but Charlie like you. And then he tells her about something that happened in the past and we see the flashback of it, which is that the corporation or whatever has kidnapped her when she's a newborn. And he uses his telep-telepathy? To tell one of them to shoot the other and then forget how to breathe.

Starting point is 00:41:01 And when he's telling Charlie this, he's like, those guys probably had wives and kids that they loved. And it's like, they fucking kidnapped your newborn. Like, sorry but no, you don't have to feel guilty for murdering someone to get back your baby. You know what I mean? I should just let them have you. Yeah.It's such a weird turn for this character that we've seen then, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, then, then, then, then, the, the, the, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th. And thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. And thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. And thi, thi, thi, th we've seen B have no emotion for anything. A remorseless sociopath up until this point.

Starting point is 00:41:27 Yeah, and he's also crying, but his face is still not moving. It's just getting wet and you're like, how? It looks like they're just squirting him with a squirt gun. He's not, but he's not flinching. He can't. Am I winking? Am I winking? That's me.

Starting point is 00:41:45 Whatever. So they go back into the house. Irv's drunk. Stone cold off of those like Miller Lights. Must have had like 30 of them. Yeah. And he's watching the news. Yeah. On the news is a story about Zap-Effron and Charlie. Twice. They run that quick segment twice. Yeah, just so everyone, because they were like, oh, fuck, the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. the their. their. their. their their. their. their. th. th. th. th. thi. So, th. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so th. So, so thi-so, so tho. So, so tho. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so thi. So, so, so th. So, so th. So, so th. So, so th. So, so, so th. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, thi-s. So, thi-s. So, they-s. they're they're tho. they're they're they're thoooooooooo-s. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, Charlie. Twice, they run that quick segment twice, back to back. Yeah, just so everyone, because they were like, oh, fuck, Zap-Effron was supposed to be in the room sooner. Just play it again! What? It's literally the same segment. It's not the newscaster's telling the story again.

Starting point is 00:42:18 It's copy-pasteed. Fuck. When Irf gets up to swing at him and it just falls down, you're like, oh, I know, that's such a bummer. And he says, you tell me I can't trust the TV, which I liked. I was like, oh, is this this movie's commentary on America? Yeah. And then so Charlie gives the speech about, uh, Esse wants you to know that she forgives you because it was his fault that they got into the accident. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:42:49 And he was like, oh, I know I said I overreact sometimes. And it's like, oh no, there's a wanted fugitive in your house. You most certainly did not and overreact. I don't know why everyone thinks they're overreacting in this movie. if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, you, you, if you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, the their, their, their, thi, thi, thi, their, they, thi, thi, thi, they, they, they, and they, and they, and their, and their, and the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi, and thi, and thi, and thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thean, and thean, and thi. thean. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th front door unlocked. He's called the cops. The cop show up and then Rainbird kills every single fucking cop. Yes, which is dope. Because Irv is like, I'll go outside and talk to him. You know, I'm a drunk dickhead.

Starting point is 00:43:19 Yeah. You know, I do dickhead stuff all the time. Well, I just did a dickhead thing. I'm like, Irv. Pahah!. I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'll th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'll th, I'm th, I'll th, I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the cop, I'll the the the cop, I'll the the cop, I'll the the the the the the the the the the th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, th, th. I'm th. th. th. the. thi. thea. thooooooooooo. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. th did a dickhead thing. I'm sorry I thought they were in my house and the cops like Irv, Papa! He's dead! Yeah. And then Irv gets shot too which makes me mad because he has to take care of his wife. He clearly loves her. Yeah. Rainbird doesn't care. No. And the cops are like lenses in click and they put these contacts in that prevent them from being able to to to to the the the the the their th their th th th their th th th th th th th th th th th th the to the to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to th th th th th to to to th to to to th to to to th th th to to th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the to the the the to the te te tape tape tha tape. to tha tha to tha to to to tha to to to to to to to bad corporation cops. My next note says, this movie is like a sandwich, but it's just bread and air, and the air smells like a fart. I might rather eat that than watch this movie again. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:43:56 If you farted between two pieces of bread. I know Zafron would need it because of the carbs, but... A fart carbs. Yeah. Oh, yeah, they put in the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they the the the the the the the of the carbs, but... A fart carbs. Yeah. Oh yeah, they put in these dumb contact lenses that go, pequew when you put him in. I wish mine did that. This is where I have the note. Soundtrack isn't bad, but it feels like Carpenter castoffs.

Starting point is 00:44:18 Yeah. Yeah. Captain Jane Hollister is reprimanding Rainbird. Oh yeah, she told him to stay under the radar, but he shot like eight cops. Yeah. Yeah. I just wish she was like more menacing or more charismatic or anything. More anything. Sure, because you've seen this type of character and other things and they can be like the

Starting point is 00:44:39 corporate heavy and be very like still doing things by the book but still with a menace to it. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. th. th. th. thi the the the thi thi thi thi they they they they thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I just thi. I just they just they just they just they just they just they just they're they're thi. I I I thi. I I thi. I I I thi. I I I I I thi. I I I I I I I thi. I I I I I thi. I I I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I just thi. I just thi thi to to thi to to to to thi thi to thi to to thi thi thi thi thi thi book but still with a menace to it. Absolutely. No. Bloodthirsty or not even blood thirsty like cold blooded. Yeah. She needed to be cold blooded and this woman just wasn't acting that way. She doesn't even feel like shitty middle management. It's just like nothing. Yeah, she's a temp that they hired. Yeah. the t so I guess that happened. Oh, when Charlie is on her own trying to hone her powers by burning plants and stuff.

Starting point is 00:45:11 Oh right, because the corporate cops have taken dad away. Right, right. Because he's like, run Charlie and he makes her disappear to her not to be able to see her. And then he makes her reappear on the edge of the woods and it's like, why don't you just, right, right, right, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, th, thi, thi, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th.. thi, thi, thi, thr, thr. thrown, thr-a, thin, thin, thin, thin, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to be able to see her. And then he makes her reappear on the edge of the woods and it's like why don't you just wait? Oh because Rainbird like interferes with those powers. Oh gotcha. Well fine then. Not to defend this movie. No that's fine. And while she's being the the highest daughter. No one gonna count. Dad is calling out to her and telling her where, showing her in her mind where the, the building the building the building the building the building the building the building the building the building the building the building the building building building building building building building building building building the building the building building the building building, the building, the building, the building, to her and telling her where showing her in her mind where the the building he's kept in it. Okay and she heads to her dad. Oh but it wasn't him that did that it was someone else who sent that message. Yeah but also there's that before that there's that quick not even quick it's a long scene

Starting point is 00:46:00 where she meets up with those teenage boys and takes all their stuff. It's just like, how can I make myself look like stranger things? What can I do right now? Yeah, it's weird. It's like, I think it's meant to be another comedy hit. And it's like, because she makes the one kid to do this clothes off. And it just, it just isn't. Yeah. It's. I don't, I mean, I guess like she wanted to like go incognito, so she put on a Canadian tuxedo. Yes, she did. And then she asks them which way the coast is,

Starting point is 00:46:29 which is wild because we didn't, we only saw the outside of the building and there was no beach by it. Mm-hmm. Also when she gets there, that agent is driving a Toyota Camry that looks a lot like my Toyota Corolla. Yeah, yeah. th did get a sandwich from those kids as well, which I like to give your sandwich. She did, she was hungry, yeah. Oh man. And then she burns that guy up. Yeah, the guy who's terrified of her and with reason because she lights him on fire. Because she's getting in his car and is going to kill him. Yeah, and then she's he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he's he's he's going is going is going is going is going is going is going is going is going to kill to kill to kill to kill to kill to kill to kill to kill to kill to kill to kill to kill to kill. Yeah, he's going. Yeah, he's going. Yeah, he's going. He's going. He's going. He's going. He's going is going. He's going is going is going is going is going is going is going to kill him is going to kill him is going to kill him is going to kill him is going to kill him is going is going is going is going is going is going is going is going is going is going is going is going is going is going is going is going is going is going to kill. He's going to kill. He's going to kill him. He's going to kill him. He's going to kill him. He's going to kill to kill him. He's going to kill to kill him, he's going to kill him, he's going to kill to kill him, he's going to kill him, yeah. No, she's the bad guy. Yeah, and then she has to be like, you gotta finish it, and she kills him.

Starting point is 00:47:07 There's like 15 minutes left at this point, and she just got into the building. And it's like, what, how is this movie paced so badly? Like, it's mercifully short. It is. The pacing is bizarre. Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, I've only got like 10 th th th th th, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've th th. I've th th th th th th th th th th th th that, I've that, I've that, I've tho' tho' thate thate that the th th th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. th. th. th. Yeah, I thate thate thate th. And she th. And she th. And she th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. th. th. th. th. thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th 10 notes left. Yeah. She takes out the cameras. She learns that it wasn't daddy who brain phoned her. They have those notes. Yeah. Captain Jane Hollister got them contacts in. Oh boy. Zapp. Zapp. Farron is dying. Who cares? He wants her to burn it down. Who's Gail? I don't know. I just wrote. Yeah, fuck Gale. I don't know who Gale is.

Starting point is 00:47:45 Is Gale Captain Jane Hollister? Mm-hmm. Because Jane Hollister's like, you're not going to burn me with your dad in here. Well, she's Jane Hollister, I don't think she's Gale. Who knows you, man? Oh no! Gail is a woman in the hallway. theyre, the liar, pants on fire. Oh yeah. And I was like, oh wait, guys waited long enough to do this, huh?

Starting point is 00:48:07 Yeah, they thought that was good, though. Do you have the note, ACAB, all cops are burning? Oh, no, I don't. ACAB, all candies are beautiful. Someday I'm going to put that shirt in the store for a very brief period of time. It's very good th th th th th th th th very good th very good th very good th very good th very good th very good th very good th very good th th th th. It's very good th. It's very very good thi. It's very very very very good thi. It's very very very good. It's very good. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. to. to. to. toea. toea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the. the. Uh, she opens all the doors and Rainbird gets out. His motivations are just utterly senseless. Yep. No, he's...

Starting point is 00:48:31 Like, why does he kill all the bad guys and then wait for her to murder him? Yes. Okay. And then it's like, now you have to hang out with this guy and let him carry you around? The asbestos team shows up in their little asbestos suits?, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his his his, his his, his his his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, their, their, their, their, their, their, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. His thi. His their their their their, his their, his their,team shows up in their little asbestos suits for no fucking reason other than the show that they can walk and fire until they can't anymore. I think they show up because of mesothelioma and it's very dangerous. You don't want to get that from asbestos.

Starting point is 00:49:00 But their suits are made of asbestos. And then, yeah, Rainbird shoots them. She wants, he wants her to kill him. And I'm like, burning to death is such a fucking awful way to die. For sure. Uh, she sees herself and stops and doesn't burn him. And why? You killed your mom? And then she and Rainbird walk away into the sunset? He's carrying her like a baby.

Starting point is 00:49:25 The end? The end. And I wrote, just terrible. Just terrible. Well, this is perfunctory, Katie, uh, gaiting, a ratings phase. Fart sandwich. Fart sandwich.

Starting point is 00:49:37 No, worse than a fart sandwich. Min. The living worse than a fart sandwich is not having one. This movie is a lack of a fart sandwich. Yeah. Give me one second while I run to Instagram, because I am going to quote one of our listeners. Ooh, I like that. All right, tut-ta-da-ta-da-ta-doo-pippity-tee,

Starting point is 00:50:05 Tip-di-tow and a tipidy me. So, uh, Brook Laniard Fine Art asked if this movie was a hand turkey. I said that is both an insult to hands and turkeys. And they responded, oh wow, maybe a crumpled pipe cleaner. Fuck yes, crumpled pipe cleaner. So yes, crumpled pipe cleaner. Fuck yes, crinkled pipe cleaner. Yeah, all day long. And you're just like, how did it even get there?

Starting point is 00:50:29 Yeah. And I smoke a pipe occasionally. Yeah. Uh, so yeah. And I do crafts with a five-year-old occasionally. Man, what a shit show. Yeah, zap. Come on. You can do better, buddy. Katie, ask me what we're doing next week. What are we doing next week? Final destination three.

Starting point is 00:50:49 The reason I laugh so hard is because our original plan had been to do this fire starter and then the old fire starter. And at the beginning of this episode I said to Alan, let's play it by year and decide if we want to do the next fire starter. If not, we will be doing final destination, either three or five, your choice. I chose three. You chose three. And I want to keep the original fire starter as a good movie in my brain right now to wash away the memory taste of this film. I'm going to use the push the push the push the push the push the push the push to to the push to wash to wash the push to wash to wash to wash the push to wash to wash to wash to to the push to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to wash. to to to to wash. I, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I will. I will. the thexxxxxxxx. the. the. the. the. theaseasten. theastea. I'm. I'm. I will. to.a. to.a. to. to. to. to. to. I will. I will. I will. I will. I will. the memory taste of this film. I'm gonna use the push. You deserve to have something. I'm gonna use the push.

Starting point is 00:51:28 So we ask people to write in to guess how many times you say Fias Tata. I'm the fire starter. In this episode and I'm gonna count them up when I edit them. And then in the next episode, we'll let you know favorite guess. Okay. This is from Sean A. Hi, Sean A. Who says, my bet is till she gets bored with it, then her best bud will make it fun again. Oh, oh, man. I'm sorry, Sean, you lost though, because I never got tired of it. What was the price? Picking a movie?

Starting point is 00:52:00 Yeah, they're going to pick the movie. Oh, sorry Sean. I hope you need a real number too. I mean, I th th th th th th th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. to th. to to to to th. th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. try try thee try thea to the the the the pick the movie. Sorry, Sean. I hope you need a real number, too. I mean, this price is right rules. You don't get to go up there and be like, well, Bob Barker, I think it's a hand turkey. Bob Barker's dead, isn't he? Yes, all day long. Well, he'd be like 110 if he wasn't. I don't mean he deserves it, I mean mathematically. Where will Fambians, the one podcast, is willing to wish death upon the soul of Bob Barker? Was Bob Barker a good man? I don't know. I thought he was real creepy to the lady.

Starting point is 00:52:33 I'm sure he was. I think he was. Yeah. All he cared about is cutting your dog's dick off. That's not what spay neutering is. I'm gonna shit. Oh, God, we're lucky to be here in doing this. Oh, yeah, we're lucky to be here in doing this. Uh, yeah, it was the final destination three. Let's see what interesting ways they figure out for death to kill you, the weirdest concept for a thing ever. Minus one, Devan Sawa. Uh, As I was telling Katie, if you all aren't watching hacks,

Starting point is 00:53:08 you should, because Devin Sawa shows up in an episode, and it's great. Can't wait. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's it. That's the story. Oh, actually, just my own personal take on this,

Starting point is 00:53:30 talk to your male friends about thinking that violence is the way to solve every situation. It's not. I just don't think, yeah. I feel like our listeners don't know those kinds of people. I feel like we unfortunately do. Yeah just like be better at being better everybody. Not you guys, you guys are great. No, you guys are the best. It's your friends we're worried about because they're like bad influences on you. I don't like the way you've been talking to me since you started hanging out with them. We're not letting you hang out with that friend anymore.

Starting point is 00:54:00 You are grounded from Greg. You know which Greg we're talking about. Not Greg from Neon Brainihac. Nah, he's alright. I could take him in a fight anyway. Don't you think? Wasn't this discussion we've already had? Wait!

Starting point is 00:54:15 Also it's about solving all our problems with violence. Katie! Let's maybe talk to your Kadies. So, yeah, let's make the world a better place, right? For you and fun. We love you, thank you for listening to another episode of Whearwolf Ambulance. We don't have to say that part's at, that's a good part.

Starting point is 00:54:38 Thanks, we're listening to another episode of Warewulambulance. That's, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's th, th, tho thu thu th, th, thu thu tho tho tho tho thu and thu and thu and thu and thu, thu, thu, thu and thu and thu and thu and thu and to to to to to to to to to to to to to th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thu. thu. thu. thi. Bye, bye. Empty. Yeah. Clear. It's not clear, though, is it? We're still the pool. No way to do it, let's keep a full-filled reviews. Gilly clouds and laugh the face, killing in outer space. A few times are cast in case. Please make I continue to crave the face, he ended in outer space, a peer-in-togast in case,

Starting point is 00:55:26 Please make I continue to pray. The Ante. A tomorrow and comedy with these hungry, Brian, from wings and Stephen King. The end tea. We lived deliciously bad temperatries of bees crazy gone to diet in. A paranormal act in titties.

Starting point is 00:55:49 From the street by the city. EFT, EFT. EMP.

Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 381- Firestarter (2022)

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