Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 383- Hack-O-Lantern (1988)

Episode Date: June 13, 2022

In this week's episode, it's an EMT pick! Thank you so much to listener Derek who won the contest in our "Firestarter" episode and chose a real doozy of a film-- the 1988 Satanic cult movie "Hack-O-Lantern." Believe me when I say that this movie has it all: heavy metal, boobs, Satanism, a bathroom with carpet in it which is inherently also very evil, horny adult teens, weird stuff at the rec center, boobs, terrible fake guitar playing in the world's saddest jerkoff fantasy, Levi's cords, creepy grandpas, Coors Light, inept police work, barn-based occult rituals, did we mention boobs? There are a ton of them. Halloween is THE BEST. You may enjoy Episode 52- Halloween III: Season of the Witch," Episode 68- "Trick r Treat," Episode 105- "Murder Party," Episode 192- "Night of the Demons," Episode 197- "Terrifier," Episode 200- "Trick or Treat," Episode 366- "Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark" and really so many more. It's the most wonderful time of the year. Find us online: Support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance where you can hear us discuss an action movie each month. If you get in now, you can submit your picks for our action movie lottery! Buy merch for yourself or those you love at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance on Twitter @werebulance on Instagram @werewolfambulance. [e-mail] If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow.   Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down. Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast.

Alan. Katie. Can I get a quick errors and emissions song? Oh. We fucked up. This isn't even really a fuck up, but I missed a real opportunity here. Okay. Because, tha'e'er.

today, ba'er. We fucked up. This isn't really a fuck up, but I missed a real opportunity here. Because last week you told me about a drinking game that was made up by Twitter user, Governor, Governor, Governor, Governor, Governor, Governor, to, to, to, to, th., to, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi, and thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, and thi, and thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, thi, thi, thi, the the the thi, the the the thi, thi, thi, and thi, thi. And, and thi. And, and thi. And, and thi. And, and thi. And, and thi. And, and I, and I, and I, and I thi. And, and I thi. And, and I thi. thi. thin. thi. thin. toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. And, thi. up, but I missed a real opportunity here. Because last week you told me about a drinking game that was made up by Twitter user, Governor Little Taco Boy. Yes. And I didn't recognize the name, but then when I went back and looked, Governor Little Taco Boy, I want to hype her podcast. Oh, okay. Which is called Grit and Glitter.

And it's a weekly podcast about women's wrestling. Oh, awesome. And if you tha tod tod tod tod toged togu toged thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. togeeea. togea. togeea. toge-a. toge-a. togeuuu. toguuuuuuu. thi. thi. togu is tested by Governor Little Taco Boy and Fear. And if you care at all about wrestling, you should listen to it. Yes, you should. If you care it all about fun, you should try it anyway. Yeah, that's all I want to say, hi, Governor Little Taco Boy. Yeah, thanks for shouting us out on the internet. I just always miss opportunities to hype other things that people are doing because as a person and I just thi's why I need an errors and emissions song. But-up-bah-bid-up, you're welcome. All right. I think the clothes are out nicely.

Hold on Katie, I've got to do something real quick. Oh, can I do that too? Yeah. Go. Oh, it's not as satisfying. It's actually anti-climactic. That was unsatisfying. Cheers.

Salute, Mia Familia. We're enjoying silver bullets in honor of, I haven't had one in like 20 years. Is it been sitting under your porch for 20 years? Yes. It tastes mildly like it. It can't be skunked. It's in a water bottle.

Yeah, it's um. It's resealable, like you're gonna... Who's gonna come back to a coarse light? But in the film that we're about to discuss, Hack O'Lanturn, it's an Irish film I believe. It's one of the dumb posters that he has on his wall, along with a graffiti that says, what does it say, like sex arts or something?

Sex arts or something, yes. And the Levi's Cords poster that's on his wall. Oh my God. Was a silver bullet, a beer sign, so I figured I'd get a silver bullet in honor of that shit-ass movie we watched. Thank you so much. It's really as bad as you think it's gonna be. I'm like not a, I drink cheap yellow beer.

I'm gonna down this in like four minutes. But who boys it tasks like me at 15? That's a lot of sips all at once though. Oh God, it took everything in me not to chant, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, That's how I know I'm still an idiot at heart. It tastes like a Bob Seeger loving uncle. Yeah, it tastes like the breath of someone who's going to yell at you. It also tastes like sneaking sips of beer. Yeah, I'm telling you. It's like pulling one one out of your friend's dad's fridge and then drinking a quarter of it and being like, I'm so drunk right now. Are you drunk? I'm feeling so drunk right now. Cornflate never uses high fructose corn syrup. Did you know that?

Do other beers? Why would you? Why would you? Why would you? God, I hate American beer. Why would you need? Is there high fructose corn syrup and like other beers? No, there shouldn't be. You should never be using that in your beer. No child's fingers are in this bottle of course light. There are 0.79 Buicks inside of this can. Anyway, Hackle Lantern. Speaking of 79 Buicks, Hackle Lantern.

Wow, what a fucking movie. Thanks, Derek. Derek. Derek. So this movie once again proved that I'm a fucking moron. Okay. Because I once again blocked out a sexual assault from a film. Oh and this is a very upsetting one. Oh yeah. I mean not that there are un-upsing sexual assaults but this one's particularly weird and bad. You just reminded me of something and this is going to be a bit of a bummer. I love it. But hearing all the people on the news talking about, you know, people who die in mass

shootings and go, they were just a child, they didn't, they were a child who didn't deserve this, was something I heard someone said, and I was like, that implies that that that that that there's the their their their their their their their their is their is, their is, their is, their is, their is, their is, their is, their, their, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thee. the. to. t tee. to. toe. te. to. te. te. te. te. the. te. the. th. th. t that there's a child who deserves this to happen to him. All I can think of was the kid that beat up Ralphie in a Christmas story. Yeah, the kid may have had it coming. But even that kid, like he was just a sad boy. Yeah, I guess so. So you know, watch how you phrase things, everybody. Oh boy. So yeah, hackle lantern. It's a lot of Indian folks who worked on this movie.

Yeah, yeah. This might be like, I've never seen an Indian horror movie, I don't think. Have you? Uh, I'm trying to, I'm trying to, I'm trying to, I'm trying to, I'm trying to think of, off the top of my head I, I can't, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th. I'm th, I'm th. I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm thi, I'm th, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've th, I, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've th, I've th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've th, I've th. I've th. I've th. th. thi, I've th. thi, I've th. thi, I've th. th. th. thi, I've th. th. th. th. I've th. I've th. I one that I've seen. I can't either. Yeah. And so I thought, oh, this will be interesting. No, it is nothing about it. It's no. It's got some sweet, sweet racism in it too. Sweet, what? Racism?

Oh, well, yeah. So this is the story of a young man named Tommy. Yeah. And his grandfather, who is the leader of the tha, tha, the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, the, th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the. the. the. the. the. to. to. to. toe. toe. toe. toe. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. It, the. the. th leader of the town Satanists. I couldn't figure out if the rest of the family knew that he was the leader of the town Satanists. I think mom does. Okay but not the other kids. Yeah, but Tommy does. I think the other kids know that he's like quirky and talks about Satan. Okay but not that he's running a full-blown cult out of a barn which is is or is not on their property? Yes, both. It is in both places at different points in the movie. You have to drive to it, but you can see fire from it. Yes, what the fuck? Every time he says goodbye to one of his grandkids, he says, see you now. I like that a lot, and if I live long enough,

I may adopt it. I too will become High Pike. That guy's name is High Pike. Hi Pike. Yeah. You may know him as the mayor in Dolomite. I would not know him as the mayor in Dolomite. Or the bus driver in a very gross movie that I happen to like called Lamora. Which is a sort of, I don't know if it's said, the Ozarks and the Appalachians. It's this folklore type movie, but it was done in 1973 about a little girl that all these demons want to fuck. It's very gross.

It's very weird. Like there's, it's just gross. It's a gross movie. That sounds grosser than when all those bugs wanted to fuck Jennifer Conley. They're releasing fairbo. They We gotta drink more of this. It's getting warm. It's getting warm. It's kind of nice blow across.

Are you just not able to do that? I like mine just sound like a scary wind. Oh, okay. See, I'm finding the mouth to be too big for blowing across. Well, I guess I'm good at blowing across. Mmm. Mmm. It's funny, eh, fair. Very few things to say about a accoladern.

No. No. I wrote, Grandpa's gonna leave you those turquoise rings. Oh, man. thiii. Oh, th. th. th. Oh man, I wish I still had mine. You, oh no! Oh yeah!

You're like a full-on turquoise like necklace ring belt buckle combo. I think that would be an excellent look at you. Oh yeah, that'd be, yeah. I think your new vibe should be a guy who wears turquoise. What do you think? Should I start with cowboy hats?, the the the thua, thua, thii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, tho, like, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, like, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thu. Oh, thi, thu. Oh, thoooooooooooooooooooo, like,? I mean, yes and no, we'll see. Okay. I think you start, I think you ease into that. I think you go turquoise, a little bit of fringe, a lot of fringe, cowboy hat, and I

think those last two are interchangeable. When I was 14, 15, I was a big ring guy. Oh yeah, yeah. I went like a metal dude and Yeah. And metal dude and ring guy got to go hand in hand in the 80s. Sure, it's like prior to ring guy being street magician. Sure, yeah, yeah. Oh my god, I saw a guy be yesterday in a cradle of filth t-shirt and a fedora and I was like, that guy could do tricks. He definitely can. Good for him. I mean, I don't have a skill. Yeah, but I, so I used to have this big, it was like a Native American head and a big headdress that went from knuckle to knuckle on my middle finger. We were playing street

hockey. And the ball went down a sewer grade. Nope. So I ran over and I picked the sewer grade up. And then dropped it. I'm sick. Yeah. Did you like to glove yourself? No, no, no, no, no. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. th. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was th. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. I. It's. So, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I was like. I was. It was like. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. It was. So, the the the the sewer grade up and then dropped it. I'm sick. Yeah. Did you like to glove yourself? No, no, no. I just couldn't pull my hand out so I removed my fingernail. Yeah. So after that, I was like, maybe I'm not a ring guy anymore. I think I used to wear them because I'd like to fight in rings. Who were you gonna punch punch that ring?

Anyway, so Grandpa's driving around with a truck full of pumpkins. Yeah, and hey. And why? You see, also, he also works the farm, I guess. This is like practical magic. It's like, we later in the day long, which I'm way into. That is actually very cool. This is what I'm saying.

I always want to be like a low-level member of a coven so I can do stuff like that. I'm just going out and getting the candles. I'm picking out, I'm going to be the covenants. I want to be the gopher. I don't have any real power, but I also don't have any real responsibility when shit goes down. I'm picking up a Starbucks order for an Esmeralda. Is this soy? Because that's pretty satanic.

It is. So yeah, Grandpa's driving her. And I love the young High Pike where they're just like, put a wig. A dark wig. A dark wig. He is acting like a god damn madman. He's great. He's so, he has so much expression. Yeah, yeah. He, like he's got a like vaudevillian slash silent film star quality to him, where

everything is over the top. And have you seen how wide his eyes are open? Especially when he's wearing an eyeliner. He does look great in an eyeliner though. It's like the original Pete Went. That's a name I haven't thought about no long time. You've thought about guy liner in a while? I haven't. Is it so called that or is it just eyeliner?

I think it's just eyeliner? That's to stop that. The romp him guy liner, we don't need these things in our lines. No, you need rompers and eyeliner. Yeah. Yeah. And you don't even need rompers, because I understand they're a big hassle going to the bathroom. Yeah, for sure. You have to fully get naked. Yes, he gives him a pumpkin and a satanic medallions to his grandchild. Yes, he gives him a pumpkin and a satanic medallion.

And then mom, who is like 70% hair, is furious about this pumpkin. Yeah, and smashes it after he cuts himself. Were the pumpkins grown on their farm? Is it all one-how? Like, why is it shocking that he has a pumpkin if you're growing pumpkins, madam? Because it was from her grandfather. Right, but he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he the th th th. But he th. th. th. th. thu? thu? thum thu. thu. thum thum thum thum thum thum thum thum thum thum a pumpkin thum a pumpkin thum a pumpkin is thum a pumpkin is thum a pumpkin is thum a pumpkin is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi? thi. thi. theea. ta. ta. ta. ta. tau. tau. tau. was from her grandfather. Right, but he had a whole truck full of them. Or do you think he bought them and was taking them somewhere for a party?

No, no, he grew those pumpkins for sure. Okay. Yeah, for sure. Because he has later in the film, he has a to'n'n' this town. That's true. The cemetery is like a town square. Like every time anyone leaves one scene and walks into the next, they're in the cemetery. And like, it's not like mom, mama hasn't forbidden them to talk to grandfather. Right.

He's just not allowed to give them gifts. Specifically to Tommy. They don't want him interacting with Tommy. Yes, right. Because he has... For reasons that will become clear later, which are horrifying. Uh-oh. It's not even later. It's the next scene. Yeah, it's a next scene. Oh my God.

I was like, am I really watching this movie? So we, we, there's this great transition where Tommy is like unfurls his pentagram medallion and he's swinging it. Right. And then it, the time it, th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus. It's, thus. It's, thus. It's, thus. It's, thus. It's, thus. It's, thus. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. th. It's, th. th. It's, thi, thi. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's that's that's thatea. It's that's that's like, that's thatea. It's that's thatea. It's thatea. It's thi. It's th it time cuts to grown up Tommy. How the fuck old is this character meant to be? The actors 31 looks 39. Yeah, easy. His mother is like, he's got to stop living like this in my house. It's like, he's not a teenager. What is happening in your family? Wow. Because the daughter is 18. And she's the youngest.

Or no, Roger, she's the youngest. Yeah. And I think it went, it seemed to go Tommy, Roger, Vera. Dude, when Tommy is cutting up the pumpkin carving it and he's throwing pumpkin seeds at her, and she goes, stop splashing me. So like Michigan? What is that? I don't know but everything is they're like they're in California because there's palm trees or maybe Florida but I think California. Okay. And just, yeah, stop

splash in me. This is where I wrote all of your children are shits. Oh my god mom's relationship with her kids is amazing. I do not understand a moment of it. He says to her, he had like cut his finger on the carving knife and he says, but mom, I like the taste of blood. Because he's like sucking the barbecue sauce off his finger. And he says something about, it's good for you. And she's like, did your grandpa tell you that blah we

just saw his entire interaction with grandpa and he was not told that. What does it? Blood is the power the power is blood. That's fair. So Bill opens a beer. Bill's the dad. He opens a beer and then he's like you know what I'm gonna go fight your dad. He puts down the beer and I thought a man like Bill does not just put down an open beer. Bill said and I quote, we told your father to stop coming around. I'll talk to him. That didn't work once, I'm going to fight your father now. Damn it woman. Wom it, woman. told my beard. And so he's, they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th, th, th, and I th, and I th, and I th, and I th, and I th, and I th. th. th. th. th. th, and I th, and I th, th, th, th, th, th, and I th, and I th, and I th, and I th, and I th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th th th tho, tho, tho, tho, tho tho tho tho thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo thooo tho tho tho thothen so he goes in his talking to a high, high pike. High pike, yes. And they look the exact same age. I don't understand anyone's age in this movie. It's all one generation. Everyone's like 56. Or a 23 year old adult film star, which there are some of those in this movie as well.

I mean, every woman we meet, we see their tits. Except for Beth. Except for Beth. Because. Hi hi hi hi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the high pike the the the th pike th. Hi hi hi pipe pipe pipe pipe pipe pipe pipe pipe pipe pipe th. Hi the the th. Hi th. Hi th. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. the the the the the th. Yes. Yes, th. Yes, th. Yes, th. Yes, th. Yes, th. Yes, th. Yes, th. Yes, the the th. Yes, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the ti. the the ti. ti. ti. the the the the ti. the the the ti. of those in this movie as well. I mean, every woman we meet, we see their tits. Except for Beth. Except for Beth. Except for Beth. Don't see your boobs? Horniest person in the movie. I fucking love Beth. She's great. She's the best.

So Bill gets killed. With a hammer. Yeah. Like, even your daughter tothing to do. Yeah. Yeah. And then we see there's a big fire, and then we see baby Tommy looking out the window, and the fire is reflecting on his face. And it's like, then why was everyone surprised

to see Grandpa earlier if he lives here? Yeah, why did Dad have to drive to that house that is in visual distance of you? Because the guy, they light dad's the gasinging toing toing toing toing toing toing toing toing toing toing toing the gasoline toing toing their toing their their toing their tothey light the dad's car on fire and the guy dumping the gasoline is pouring it all over his shoes while he's walking the gasoline, it's like, there are different ways to do that that would not get you into the combustible area. Sir. Dumbums. So yes, this is where there's that cut scene of the swinging pentagram pendant. Yes. But then we also see Tommy just like looking at it, grown-up Tommy while the door bell is ringing or the someone's knocking on the door and it's like, take your fucking sweet time with this pendant, Tommy.

I know we don't like to talk about the way people look. Oh gosh. Tommy has lips that Cardassians would die for. But he's, gosh, gosh I but he's weird looking He's weird he's like he's got like there's like an attractive quality to him I am gonna go on a limb here and say no thank you okay that's fine, but he's also very menacing looking yeah, that's probably it yeah, I prefer a correctine Nelson type Yeah, I prefer a cregty Nelson type for a menacing Kardashianardassian lip.

Oh man, he is very strange looking. Sometimes it's like kind of hard to look at him. You want to look away. Yeah, I don't know why. Yet, he gets the hottest girl in town is his girlfriend, Nora. The women in this movie have amazing names like Vera and Nora. Imagine naming your children Roger, Tommy, and Vera. Mom looks the same now, but with a babushka.

Yeah, mm-hmm. So much hair. So much hair. What do you do? That's a crazy person's amount of hair. You know what I mean? You see a person with hair that long, you're like, you're not right. You're an occult, yes. Yes. Yes. And Roger is now a police officer. Roger is very clean cut, a little baby face.

Yeah. Yeah. And Vera is 27 in graduating high school, finally. Yeah, I'm so glad she finally made it out. Maybe she can go to junior college now. And the soundtrack, it's this movie. The soundtrack, Katie. Tell me about it. It's like they hired somebody from the local church to do the sound.

Or maybe the dude who does like the baseball organ and the local sports league team. Do not diminish his work. Bump, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, today, Saan! Sain! S. I can't get over that Levi's cords poster that he has on his roll. So evil. He's such an evil young man that he loves cords from Levi's. I love this scene where he is like standing outside and he has his leg up on the tailgate and he's just posing like Captain Morgan for like the entire scene. He's got to be like six five, six seven.

Oh he's a big guy for sure, yeah. And then he turns around and just stares down the barrel of the camera and you're like, no, thank you're like, no that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the is the is just just just just just just just the is the is the is the is theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee is thee is the is the is the of the camera and you're like nope no thank you or you're like well maybe you'd fuck that guy no no you'd let that guy fuck you oh so we find the 13 years of past and what does mom have a name or she just mom only refer to her as mom or mrs. What's their last name? It's like, oh, drindle. Drindle. I was gonna say Skulnick. Let's give them a last name that there's no way we'll get sued for.

Drindle. So mom confronts Grandpa after Grandpa and Tommy meet. Yeah. And this is when we get a flashback scene that I had forgotten about for the many times I've seen this movie. I mean where I wrote, oh my God, no, Jesus, God no, I thought he was just a harmless Satanist weirdo he is not. He's Tommy's dad. Yeah, he's, yeah, yeah, he's my son. We all know who is the other lady's my son too. And there's a flashback of him like pulling off her wedding dress. Yeah, raping her on her wedding day. This fucking sucks. This more woman, like mom needs so much therapy and needs it yesterday. Yeah. Yeah. This one I was like, you made an incest rape movie direct to video? Like that's got

to feel weird at the end of the day. Like, didn't even get in the theaters, huh? Okay? Maybe I should... Be an engineer. Because there's like, there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's the there's the the there's the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. their their their their their thera. their their their their their their their their their their their th. their their th. their th. th. their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. thi the the the the theat. theat. theat. the. theat. theat. the. theat. the. the theaters huh okay maybe I should be an engineer because there's like that there's the flashback scene and like he exposes her boob to the movie yeah I just like movie this isn't lascivious movie this is stupid oh anyway from there on out it's good though yes yes we meet Beth who comes over to hang out with Vera mom is so suspicious of her she hates she hates the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the there's there's there's there's there's the there's there's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they is is is is is is is is the the the the the the the the the they. they is is is is is is is is is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, it's good though. Yeah, sure yes. We meet Beth, who comes over to hang out with Vera. Mom is so suspicious of her. She hates Beth. She hates Beth, which I don't get at all because Beth is just a ray of sunshine.

She just hates horny friends. Yeah, I guess so. Before we get too far from the gross meeting with mom and grandpa, we do should mention that grandpa is wearing dad's finger bone around his neck. Oh, I thought she was wearing the finger bone around her head. It's like, I never forget your husband, Dook, Duke, Duke, Duke, and shows her the bone that he's wearing around his neck. Wow, that's wild.

How's he not that's wild. That's brutal. Yeah. Yeah. I really thought she was wearing it. 13 years ago. None of us enough to get him a good headstone. Well, you have a lot of things to say about movie headstones. You're getting somewhere in life where you start to have opinions on people's headstones. Just saying, it's only been 13 years, the number or the letter shouldn't be wearing off. That's right. They are rubbed off. I forgot about that.

His name is like, woom. Drundle. That's right. They are they are rubbed off. I forgot about that. His name is like woom. Whom, woom, drundle? So Beth kicks open the bathroom door and Vera's in the bathtub in a carpeted bathroom. Y'all groped-room. It's disgusting. What on in what world? In the 70s? Why? Yeah, I remember having a carpeted kitchen when I was a kid. Oh man, I lived in an apartment with a carpeted kitchen. It was nasty Because you like play beer pong on it and it's like Or you're just me and you get shit everywhere when you cook or you're a human. Why would you carpet these places? Because the 70s we were fucking bonkers about carpeting steps. Farns? Tink about it? Think about what it is? Yeah, because? Yeah, the? Yeah, the the 70. the the 70. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the 70. Yeah, the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. Yeah. Yeah, I. Yeah. Yeah, I. Yeah. Yeah, I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I. Yeah. Yeah, I. Yeah. I. Yeah, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. theing. Carpet, carpet's gross. Think about it, think about what it is.

Yeah. It's gross. Anyway, tits, ring that bell. Yeah. It was just like, you just gotta take a bath with your boobs out. Okay. Yeah, with your friend just gonna stand up here, get your robe for you.

She puts it on without like rinsing off. She's just covered it's open. It makes me so upset. I'm like, your skin is going to dry out. You're going to feel terrible. You're going to get a rash. You're going to fuck Brian in a little while. You're going to want to find his body. I did laugh when she, uh, so Beth has a fake spider that she puts on the tub, and stupid-as Vera watches her face with it, like a dumb ass. What a dumb, dumb, dumby Vera is with her big old boobies floating in the water. What's Beth gonna dress as for Halloween? Princess Diana?

Princess Diana. Yeah, it's a great Halloween costume. She's still alive at that point, see? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, is your creepy brother going to love Halloween dance? He's nearly 40? Well, it is the smuddiest Halloween dance I've ever seen in my life.

Was it at the Rec Center? Like, I used to go to dances at the Rec Center. They did not have strippers. What the fuck? You need to step your game up. It's true. At the Rec Center. Richland Youth Foundation, if you're listening, get some tits in there. Yeah, it was noticed you're a Halloween party's a little titless.

A little tidless. Oh, Tommy lives in a basement, surprising no one. His mom is banging on the door going, Tommy, can you hear me? Ma'am, I saw that movie. It's a better movie. But she's doing it like this. Tommy, can you hear me? Can you feel me near you?

I can't live like this. He's like, go away, mom, I'm jerking it right now. We listen to my tapes. Listen, Tommy just loves hanging out. And as a person who loves hanging out, I get it. Sure. Hanging out did get in the way of everything I could have accomplished in my life, but I do love it. I love listening to half-ass heavy metal music by D.C. Le C. Le C. L'A. L'A. L'A. L'A. L'A. I love listening to Pomplemus. And they have a song called Son of Satan. It's pretty good. It's a banger.

It's no Atlantis, but it'll do in a pinch. Truly nothing will ever be Atlantis ever again. Nothing will be so pure. So good. You guys probably don't know what we're talking about because nobody listened to the episode about the alien factor, but Atlantis was the worst air guitar player that's ever existed. First of all, who fantasizes about playing rhythm? You know, like he's

like having this fantasy and this other guy's just fucking shredding a solo. It's like no and then you, your fantasy life sucks to me. I mean fine play rhythm if that's all you can do but God. He's like, you don't even to the solo or a mic whose daydream is this? He's he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he's he's he's he's he's he's, he's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. He, th. He, th. He, th. He, th. He, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, 't even get a solo or a mic. Whose daydream is this? He's moving? Like someone had just explained what rock and roll was to him? Yes. He's, so it's hips, a lot of hips. Hips and... Perse lips?

Yeah, purse lips. Yeah, purse lips. I think took him in. There's this music video that happens in his mind. We see the whole, the whole goddamn song. The whole song? It's not a bad song. No, it's just all of it.

If it showed up at a comp, I'd be like, yeah, this kind of rocks. Terrible name, D.C. La. the guitar player's initials and Laqua is the singer's last name. Oh yeah, I did a deep dive researching this band. All right, I can't DC Laqua. I mean this is the this is the era of your Bon Jovies, you're Dawkins, you know, later your Danzigs. Yeah, that's fair. Or now, actually now your dance.

Now your danzigs. Yeah, that's fair. Or now, actually now, you're dancing. Now, you're dancing. Yeah, yeah. Contemporaries. Yeah, exactly. Just, just, yeah. Fine. Fine. Dan Halen. Okay. I understand. I understand now. Emerson, like, headpover. One more, you can throw me at Crosby Sills and Ash and Young? Oh yeah, Rosby Sills and Nash and Crosby Sills and Ash. Yeah.

Oh man. Bachman Turner Overdrive. Yeah, BTO, baby! Baby? TCO being out there. Can we stop this now? Oh, he looks down and his guitar has been replaced with a pitchfork. Uh-huh.

And there is, um, I'll say it, a fucking woman dressed up as a voodoo something or other African something. She's exotic for sure. And, uh, and she's, she's putting a spell on Tommy and then hax his head off with the pitchfork, which would take days. Yeah. That's just a death bite a lot of tiny little cuts. I just imagine him having this fantasy where he's like,

yeah, I'm gonna play rhythm guitar and then this lady's gonna kill me and he's just like blowing his load today. When we cut back to non-fauntasy life their their thian fantasy thian fantasy thian fantasy thian fantasy thian fantasy thian fantasy thian fantasy thian fantasy thian fantasy thi. fantasy life, he's definitely going, who? Yes! Tommy jerks such a weird stuff. With his hands behind his head, so he's one of those guys who like rubs his legs together. I didn't know those guys existed.

Oh yeah, Chris, they do. Great to know. Sorry if you're a weenie rubber. Alan judges how you jerk it. I didn't know about it, so I haven't formed an opinion. By the end end end end end end end end end end th th thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thi thi thi thi th episode, Katie will have an opinion on your movie. I'm going to rate it after I rate the movie. God I wish we could remember to do that, but we won't. We won't. No, I have almost finished this course light, so. How you doing on yours? Oh yeah, I'm almost done. I think the mountains are not as as cold as they used to be. I am I guess it's meant to say chill days. I to chill. I the to to to the to to to to the to the to to the to the to to the to the to to the the the to to their. I the to to to to their. I'm their. I'm their to the to to their their. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I thi. I thi. tod. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. to to to to to to to to to to to say chill days, but if you look at it this way and it just says days, I think that's very funny

Mine says chill nights. Oh fuck Day drinking see I am a day drinker. Yeah, Hollywood nights Finished it. Yeah, yeah, we'll never do that again. Scrape your tongue off. Oh yeah, and the lazy the voodoo lady in the dream? Shutes laser beams at them. That rise. It's! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi! mine, thi! mine, thi! mine, thi! the the the the the the the the the the the the the the voodoo lady in the dream shoots laser beams at her eyes. Surprisingly not out of her boobs. Yeah, that would have been better. I think I would have like that a bit more. Oh man. We just get some more family backstory.

Mom's a real mess. It's like, well at least she's got Roger and stupid old Vera. And they're just being so mean about Tommy and it's like he's a fucking adult, leave and be. He's made his choices. He doesn't have to live in the garage on a bed with no sheets. Oh God. Disgusting. It was probably stacked up on milk crates.

Come on, Tommy. We meet, what is the girlfriend's name? Oh, the girlfriend is Nora. Uh, right. Nora is at a store with Tommy buying an enormous amount of liquor for $40. She's great. Okay, explain something to me. Yeah. They say it costs $40. Uh-huh. She hands them a bunch of money and gets $15 back. Uh-huh. What bills did she use to pay? A bunch of $2 bills. Making me so angry. I focused on that for such a long time that I missed everything that else that happens in the scene except something about butt tattoos. So while she's in the store, she's fucking beautiful.

She's a very lovely woman. She would be the adult film actress that I had mentioned earlier. I see that now. Yeah, she may still be working. Oh, that's a long an illustrious career. Yeah. Yeah. Her name is Angel Something in this movie, but that's not the name that she goes by. I think she goes by Jean Fine in her professional career. Interesting. Yeah. I know I also did a deep dive on reading about her. It would appear so. So she's in the store and there's a bunch of guys and their girlfriends in there. Okay. And the one girl's like, what's Nora got that I ate got? For one thing, a butt tattoo. I wrote, hey, leave butt tattoos out of it.

Wait, do I have to cut that? Because we cut it last time, you mentioned it. Oh, did I? Did I? Oh, I got one of the other thing then. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I got. I. I got. I got. I got. I got. I got. I got. I got. I got. I got. I got. I got. I got. I got. I got. I got. I got. I got. I got one. I got one. I got one. I got. I got. I got the other. I got. I got the other. I got. I got. I got. I got. I got. I got. I got. I got. I got. I got. I got. I got. I got. I got. I got. I got. I got. I got. I got. I got. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tattooed on my butt. Yeah, I mean that's on brand. It is. I have busted makes me feel good, tattoo to my calf. I know, I'm looking at it right now. Families comment on how much I like my tattoo and I'm like, really?

It's a joke about nutting when I'm going to be alone. Oh God. We see Grandpa again, he's old now. And he says, ordinarily I'd say screw her brains out, but I'm not sure this witch has got any. You're like, fuck off, Grandpa. Tommy doesn't say that though, because he likes it. Yeah, he does. He also tells Tommy to be pure for tonight, and I was like, Tommy's a virgin, right?

He's a virgin, right? I pure for to not, Tommy. He's a virgin, right? I think they just want me not drunk. Okay, well, see, that's what Rob said too, but I disagreed. And noted every time I found evidence to believe the Tommy's a virgin. I mean, it might be because Nora is just like, dude, I'm gonna be in the pool. I'll be toplaple toppippiped and he's like, no I can't. He's gotta be in my room. On my mattress. He's slamming the door on my mom like a teenager.

Come on. I'll probably cut this out, but this is where I have the note. High Pike is such a bitch. He's so bitch. He's so bitch. He really is. It's really funny. But he's like, uh, well, what are you doing in town, Grandpa? I gotta go get some candles for the ceremony tonight. He headed to the hardware store. I get a big up a dozen eggs and, um, probably a chicken to sacrifice or something. It also seems to be a very, very, very small town and everyone's surprised to see Grandpa anywhere.

It's like he goes places. He's clearly active in his community. He lives on your fucking estate. In your backyard. This is where we learned the Vera has not fucked Brian yet. Not yet, no. She's gonna do it today. Halloween. I guess so. And Beth's like yeah you're gonna get some but a fucking real good. Beth just wants to fuck. Oh is that your brother? He fuck? As it turns out, he does. He does. He's gross in the scene though. He's like undressing Beth with his eyes. And you're like, come on, Roger. She's also undressing herself with her with her own eyes. She's like, you see that? He has Ricky Schroeder vibes. I don't know who that is. Ricky Schroeder? Silver Spoons. How old do you think I am?

I don't know my age. He was also in like some like cop TV shows. He is now a Trump fucking nutbar. Oh, go to hell Ricky Schroeder. Who like post videos of himself going to like Target and getting kicked out because he won't put a mask on for freedom. Why is that freedom? Don't even get me started. Yeah. I'm done with it. Yeah, we didn't get drunk in live stream. Here's the thing. We need, we just couldn't, we got nervous.

I feel like I need some prep time. Yeah. It can be funny on command. Unless I don't know if we have any plum cordial around, which is the only thing we're legally to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get ial around, which is the only thing we're legally, I'll have to get drunk on. Not coarse lights? I'd have to drink so many corse lights. The entire live stream would just be me getting up to pee their tree. Yeah, they're road sodas. And me sneaking to the bottle while you have the leg. You can get right back out, resealable. You're right. What is it for if not pissing in it? Yeah, they're road sodas. That's what it's for.

Exactly. Gross. That's not what road sodas means. Yeah. Road sodas. We used to call beer. In a car? What does that have to do with peeing in it? Oh no, I'm just saying like you're taking the the car while after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after after the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the beer, the the the the beer, the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's what it's what it's th. you drink the beer. Yeah. Because the Coors Lady is going to swim right back out of you. Yeah. So yeah, Beth is mad horny. Her and Roger like, yeah, we're going to do this later. Yeah, probably in a cemetery or something weird. Super weird. And Tommy's lifting weight stress like Rambo. I love that he's like, you put the headband on first. I've seen the the headband on first. I've th th th th th th th. th. th. th. the th. the th. th. the th. the th. th. the the, the the, the, their their the, the, the, the, the, the, thin, their and he's the, the, the, the, the, the, thu and he thu and he's thu and he's thu and he's their and he's their and he's their and he's their and he's their and he's their their and he their their and their and th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, the, the, thin, thin, the, thin, thin, thin, thean, thin, thrownean, thin, thin, thean, thean, thean, theanann' theann' thethis disgusting garage with a mattress on the floor, no sheets on it, stupid posters on the walls, and Roger walks in and he goes, why do you keep it so stuffy in here? It just seemed like such a funny thing to say. I like it's stuffy. Dude, that's gross though. Liking it's stuffy is gross. Also he has the most fire hazardy

thing I've ever seen. His shrine? His altar in the closet that's just filled with lit candles. Like Roger as a public service safety officer might recognize this as being a problem or like your brother's really fucking weird, something really bad is going on. He's just like, huh, well, see you later. Not to be too gross about this, but Roger has chosen to protect and serve that dick, and not his community. It's true. Meanwhile, we cut to mom laying on the tombstone etching that has rubbed off in 13 years. Crying, of course.

Crying because she spends the entire movie crying and also having a weird memory of her husband where he's just sleeping while she looks insane in a candlelit room and I thought, but why? Like if a frog dies? God forbid. I hope that when I look back at him I think of a nicer memory than that. Yeah, beautiful laugh. You're gonna think about, you're not gonna think. All right, so I'm just gonna lay on his chest and try. Try. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their, th. th. th. their, th. th. th. their, th. their, th. their, their, their, their, their, thi. their, their, their, their, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. You're gonna think about it. You're not gonna think. All right, so I'm just gonna lay on his chest and try to look dead. That's what you want me to do here, try to look dead. Dead with my eyes open? I've got it. I'll never blink again. It's so shitty. So shitty. It's so good.

They shot that and they were like, that's gonna give us. That is all she gives for basically the entire movie. We're moving on to number two? Yeah. And I say, mangoes, baby. The good stuff. This is gonna have taste so good after that. Yeah, exactly. Oh, it's so good.

It's like fruit tooast corn syrup. I bet there is in this, huh? Oh, it has artificial sweeteners. Oh. Uh, also from the friend of the podcast, Hedges, yeah, sent me a message of a mango beer that he was drinking in Portugal. Oh. Said it was not as good as I see light mango. And I appreciated that.

Hi Hedges, I hope you're having an ice trip. Yeah, he's been gone forever. Ferever. They're walking to the cemetery. Beth. they. they. they. they. they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. to. to. the. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the fuck is that fucking hunk-a-dunk of it? Is your brother? I'm gonna suck your brother's dick later. And Vera's like, ha ha, okay. Tell me about it after you do it. I love Vera's leather mini though.

That mini-square which is fucking fantastic. Yeah. And also, I'm like, Beth, you don't want to be with Roger. Sure. Yeah. So they're walking through the cemetery because it's the town square. Yeah. And that's all I've got. And mom comes up on them when they're like talking about who they're going to fuck later that day. She's like, mom, I'm just standing here with my friend talking about boning down.

Yeah. Brian, I guess. FIRA could do so much better than Brian. And then it cuts immediately to Nora popping up out of the pool with her titties out, wearing like a long sleeve white shirt. Yeah, like a linen shirt. That is just soaked to the bone. Why would you swim in the shirt? Why didn't she just pop up naked? 14-year-old me would have lost my

goddam mind. I can see that. Because 48 year old me was like, work? Yeah, I mean, fair enough. I do love this scene where she gets out to and the tattoo is washed off her butt. It's all smudgy. And we find out later that it's not a tattoo. She has been branded. Right. Because we see another lady get branded. So a brand has washed off her hine. Also, that brand is black, which means I think you might want to see a doctor. Why is it not just a tattoo? I don't know. Because then it would have been a long scene of high pike tattooing someone took us. They could imply it. So what do you do for a living? I will say that getting a tattoo on my butt cheek was the least painful place I've gotten a tattoo. Oh sure. I barely felt it. It's all that meat. Oh so much meat. Yeah. Oh yeah. We just had a casual conversation. Not like when you get in your armpit and you want to die. Yeah, that did make me want to die. We should stop tattattoing tat tat tat tattatt tattat tattat tattat tattat tattat tattat tattat tatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatat tat tat tatatatatat tatatat to to to to tat tat the tat- to to to t. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. tt. ttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttta. tttttttttttt. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. tt. t. t. the. the. the to die. Yeah, that did make me want to die. Yeah, we should stop tattooing our armpits. I just have so much more armpits to go. Yeah, me too. Look at all this. I might get like permanent

stink lions tattooed on this armpit. What do you think about that? Would that be cool or no? Only if you make a wiggle when people look at them. I bet I could. Yeah. Um, so she gets undressed for a shower. It takes forever. Uh-huh. Which I wrote, oh, fool franny, which is what I'm going to call full frontal nudity from now on. Full fronty. It's not even short a letter, really.

It's an extra letter, really. And I mean for 1988 well trimmed down there. Yeah, you'd expect a foolbush. Yeah, keeping it tight. She also then has a non-morning bloody merry, which I fucking love. My cousin's less drinks bloody marries at all hours of the day. They're delicious. We're going to a bar at like, you know, late at night, but like 9 o'clock and she'll be like, can I get a bloody merry, extra spicy? They're like, absolutely not. They do it. They always look at her and weird and they do it. Why not? Why is it? It's no different than like a gin and to'nick. Well, you've got to have the blend. Well, you've got to. Well, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, the, the, the, the blip, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their, their, their, their, their, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, their, their, their, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. guess. You have to throw your plus in there, whatever your special plus is.

I like a non-bloody, I can't say it, forget it. Oh, like a non-plus to Bloody Mary. Yeah, so she, because he scared her and it's Halloween, she's going to have a Bloody Mary, and she's going to give him like a drab of the devil or something she calls it something right this is when he comes in in the like someone comes in in the whole like mask and cloak and never says a word never says a word but I guess if you're dating Tommy you're used to shit being weird and stupid yeah well especially when she says let's a let's bone down to be so rough last time you left marks yeah yeah yeah well she's sitting on a wicker furniture furniture naked which I find to be very narly the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone the th. th. th. th th. th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the theee. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. theee. the. the. the. the the the th last time you left marks. Yeah, well she's sitting on a wicker furniture naked, which I find to be very narly.

Sitting on your furniture naked is gross. Yeah, but if you're gonna fuck on it, I mean. Wicker? Wicker? She does move on to the couch and then lay there. The couch is wicker. It is. It has a cushion, but it's a wicker. I'm I'm th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th is th is th is th is th is th is th. th. th is a thus. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. It has has has has has has has has has has has a thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to has a toeei. toei. tooooooiiiiiiiiiiii. ti. thi. Sitting on thi. Sitting on thi but it's a wicker. It's gross. I'm sorry, that's gross. Can you imagine what it would sound like to fuck on a wicker couch? Yeah. Well, I'm glad. I do love this like tempura, tempera, tempera, how do you say?

Tempura? This tempura blood though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When she gets like raked. the last we see of Norae. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. th. th. tho. tho. thu. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is the. It is to. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's the. looks great. And that's the last we see of Nora, except it's not because she comes like later to do the strip teas and the Halloween party. Yeah, why is it not a different actor? I don't, because she- Is it Nora? It's still Nora. Okay, so she's part of the cult. Yeah. So they like, okay. It's. It's. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. thi. the. the. th. the. th. the. the. the. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. to. to. to-. to-a. to-a. to-a. to-a. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the. the. a different character at that point. Okay. Yeah.

But she's like, yeah, I'll get him out. I don't care. Who gives a shit? But do we, in that strip tee scene, do we see the tattoo on her butt? No, no, no, no, it's all boobs in the strip tee scene. Okay. Well, who's like, that's my grandfather. His confrontation with Grandpa, hey is this punk messing with you? And she's like, that's my grandfather.

He's stunned by this revelation. This is also, again, a small town, and he's high up in the community. Grandpa's so gross, though, he's like, you're a tempting young lady. Yeah. I'm glad I just had a nice grandpa who taught me how to garden and bake various yeast-based bakes. I mean, if you're going to make an evil character, why not go full hog on it? I mean... Oh, that's good.

It's gross. Because it's disgusting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I also love this scene because she, in this, Vera, is talking to several different people over the course of the scene and the streamers are just slapping her in the face for the entire scene. This is where I realize this movie is not Tommy's movie. This film is Vera's movie. It ought to be anyway. You know she seems to be the one who gets the most screen time in this film. She's probably the best actor in the film. Oh what about Roger? What about Roger? B. is fine. Yeah. So Roger shows up and Roger and

Grandpa have like a, you old, coot, you young piece of shit, stupid, cop, tickhead. And Roger's like, oh, grandpa. All right, I'll see you in hell. And then they have this absolutely inane conversation about Beth. She's like, pretend you like, or tell you like. It goes on and on and on and he's like, oh, oh, the end, oh, and he's like, and he's like, and he's like, and that, and he's like, and that, and that, and he's like, and that, and he's like, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, oh, and that's like, and that's like, and he's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, and th. And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And th. And, th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th's like oh look both and that's like the end of the scene why did we have to sit through all that because you have to explain Roger to Roger what he's feeling oh yeah yeah I got it yeah meanwhile Beth and Brian just go back to fuck Beth please Vera and Brian Vera oh my god Beth would not to mean yourself no no Beth wouldn't thu to the room room the the the the the the the the the the the th me me me me me me me me th. th. th. th. th. And th. And the the the the the the the the to to to be to be to me me me to me to be like to be like to me. Oh to me. Oh to me. Oh to me. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, th. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. I. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. what a monster. Beth would not demean herself. No, no. Beth wouldn't fuck a nerd. And Tommy just busts into the room.

Why, your sister fucking peace! That added fuel to my theory that Tommy's a virgin because he hates sex. He just hates it. Oh, gee, insil. Yeah. But this is where I think this is supposed to make you like, oh Tommy's not all bad because he cares about his little sister. She's having consensual sex with a man she likes and she's an adult. Yeah but Tommy didn't improve.

Tommy lives in the garage and doesn't have sheets. So he beats the shit out of Brian, throws him out of the house and says, next time, you're dead. Brian runs so funny. I do like that most of the kills in this film are broad daylight kills. Yeah, it's nice. I appreciate that. Because Brian falls into a grave. Right the fuck into it. Like a real dildo.

You know what graves are? Yeah. Big. Real big. At least six foot. Yeah. And he falls right down and there's some bones. Yeah. And someone like puts a shovel down there. And he's, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the th, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th th th th the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the thi thi thi thi tooooooooooooooooooo the the the thi thi thi thi thi th and there's some bones in there. He's like, oh no, bones. And someone like puts a shovel down there and he's like, help, it's like, no, he shan't help you, Brian. He stands up, he's like, hey, help me out. Yeah, the guy with the mask with two dick tusks hanging all his face.

That mask is great, by the way they are mildly penis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So he gets shoveled in the head and then buried. I love his shovel death. I think it's very good. Do you like that we find Brian later? He's not buried in the ground? He's buried above the ground. It's like, they dug that hole, filled it in and they were like, fuck. He's still there. Oh, it's me high pike. You didn't bury. the ball-I' the the the th. You didn't bury. You didn't bury. You didn't bury. You didn't bury. You didn't bury. the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. thin. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the th. the the the the th. the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. B. th. th. th. th. th. B. the. the. the. the. to. teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. the. the. the of filling it in and then being like, fuck. Like when you leave you at the house and you forgot your wallet, you know? Or when you've made lasagna and you forgot to put the meat into it and you just have a pot of meat sitting there, you're like, what a dumb dumb. What a dumb. Oh, I gotta put all the meat on top, like Ryan.

So the nexane is Roger calling Vera from a pay phone while he's with Beth. Uh-huh, he's taking on cop duties. To thank her for introducing them. Why does he bother? I don't know. Just so she can yell, I guess. About her insane brother. And Roger's like, eh.

Sorry, gotta fuck your friend. Yeah, be back later. BBL. Yeah, he takes her on like his cop rounds. Yeah. But isn't he supposed to be working at the dance? But before that he has to go to the cemetery to pull his gun on children. Oh yeah, that's great.

And they're all laughing. Everyone's laughing about it. It's not that good. Not that good at all. Through which I have the note, ACAB includes Roger. Includes Roger. Meanwhile we see Vera and her mother having this conversation and her mother's like, I'm the only one he works on this ranch and it's like, why don't you fucking sell it then? Because Bill loved it. Bill loved this ranch. Bill sucked. Find someone else. The reason she hasn't found someone else is because of that hair. See, I think the hair is a draw.

No, I think that's scary. But in 1988? Scary. Okay. She's yelling at Vera about how she only has time for her friends. Fira seems like a pretty nice kid. She does. Yeah. She's like, oh, mom. I'm sorry. I'll try harder. Yeah. Fira should punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch punch she she she she she she she she she she punch punch punch punch punch punch punch she she she she th. th. th. th. thuuuuuuu. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho she tho she th. th. tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She th. She th. She th. She th. She has th. She has th. She has tho tho tho thoo thoo thoo thoo tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho. Fearship punch her mom in the face. It made me feel good to identify with the teenager instead of the mom for a moment. I'm not that old. So we're back to the

ceremonial barn and we see the induction of a new member of the Kevin as I like likes to say, Coven, the hour of Satan has arrived. Oh man, as much as Nora is just like, yeah, I'm naked in front of a room full of people, I don't give a shit. Yeah. This woman's like, okay, my boobs are out and I'm gonna try to wrap my body in on itself all this is happening. I'm not comfortable at all. No, Satan must love titties though. Oh, yeah, Satan? Oh, he's about it. Big titty guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah

Yeah. Saden? Boob, man. Wait. Oh, I just figured it out. Why? I just figured out the movie. Well, because I wonder I couldn't figure out why Grandpa killed Nora if she was a member of his coven. Yeah, but it wasn't grandpa. It was a grandpa. Oh. It. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, I. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. but it wasn't Grandpa. I get it. Not at all. I get it. Oh, okay. I mean, I don't care for it anymore or less, but I get it. So this woman who would make, who was the kid's name? Schmickman was the kid from Oh, um, Steinmetz. Stine Metz very happy because she's covered in tan lines. Loves, this this lady, this lady, this lady, this lady, this lady, this lady, this lady, this lady, this lady, this lady, this lady, this lady, this lady, this lady, this lady, this lady, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, th, th, th. I was. I's, thi, thi, thi, I get thi, I get thi, I get th. I get th. I'm th. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I is. I. I, I, I, I. I, I. I, I. I, I. I, I. I, I, I. I. I. I, I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's, th. I's, th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I get th. thi. thi. tha. tha' is tha' is tha' is tha' is tha' is tha' is tha. I get th. I get th. I. Steinmetz. Steinmetz very happy because she's covered in tan lines. Loves tan lines, this lady. Which is the only way you recognize her later, because she got the tan lines out. Well, no, that's a different lady. Oh, she's the same tai. Are you sure?

Yeah. OK, well, never mind then. by this point in my career. So yeah they give her the the pentagram brand on her butt and everybody drinks the blood because blood is the blood or whatever yeah every time High Pike says anything it sounds like the preamble to a Chevy commercial. It really does I feel like we should be drinking another Coors Light right now. Luckily I didn't buy any more. I love that you bought two cans of Coors Light where? At the gecko you can buy anything you want there there there there the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the coarslight. Where? At the gecko. Oh, gecko, you can buy anything you want there. It's wild. You probably buy loose cigarettes if you want to.

So back to Roger and Beth in the cemetery. Or Beth's like, you ever fucking a cemetery? Ever made it on a grave? Made it? Beth, like a cake? What, like a cake? What are you talking about? This is where I wrote, Beth is the finest character in this or any movie. Oh my god, is that what looks like we made it by Barry Manloaf's Mountain? Looks like we made it.

No, I know it, no, I was considering. I guess so. You have a fucking cemetery. Where the fog machine is working so hard. I love that her nylons go up over the headstone, and then her shoes come over. How? And how?

Beth, you're a magician. These two have really no chemistry. Like, she looks like she wants to be dead in this scene. And then at the end, she goes, you enjoyed it. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. the, I the, Beth, Beth, Beth, Beth, Beth, Beth, Beth, Beth, I thi, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, I was, I was, I was, I'm the. thee. theeeeeeea. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeea. the. th scene. And then at the end she goes, you enjoyed it. I can tell. Yeah, Beth, I think there's ways to tell. I'm glad I also wrote that to hell. And then they get on the motorcycle. He puts the helmet on himself and drives away. Fuck your skull, Beth. I didn't wear protection., I'm not giving you any now. Just doing it for Roger. ACA me!

So tell me about the metal band at the Dance. Oh, that's the, oh, I didn't write it down, but the guy's wearing a shirt of his own band. Oh, mercenary. The mercenaries, yeah. Is this just mercenaries? I think it's, it might be mercenaries. Yeah. Well, he's wearing the shirt of it. They stop playing for the ladies' entrance, but if you have more you want to say about this band, I think it's on you to say it. It's one. It's one. It's one. My pet peeves is the gist. The guitar playing a band who never moves. the guitar. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the th. th. th. the th. the. the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. theateateateate. They're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they they they they they they th. They th. They th. They th. They the th. They the the their their their their their their their their their their the. They're the. the. the. theateateateateateateateat. theateat. they're they're they're one I know. I know this one. Um, when the lady is doing the strip teas, yeah. The drummer is the only one playing music at the time and he's like,

bah-pah-pah-pah-pah-pah! It seemed planned. But there's like this like,, this town is wild. Like how is this happening at the rec center? And everyone's a rat, just standing around like, yes, this is a thing, a thing that happens here. And while she's stripping, the guitar player, or bass player is just staring at her like, ha ha ha ha. Yeah, you're ogling. Meanwhile, we cut to outside and there's a guy doing a stand up in th and a th and a th and a th and a th and a th and a th and a out some new material about porn and then like airline food I don't know so you think I could do my stand-up in your

movie yeah yeah definitely right outside the bar yeah we're just shoe horn it right in yeah we'll just have you we'll see how it lands you know you can do it promise me you'll do the turkey bit oh yeah I wrote the turkeyturkey bit. Oh my God. I wrote, the turkey bit is less good. He does an impression of a turkey being hunted around Thanksgiving on Halloween. It's not great. It's bad. It's bad. It's bad.

I thought Steinfeld would have been better, but he just didn't kill it in this. What is the deal with killing turkeys? And then Beth and Vera meet back up. Oh, you fucked my brother. Oh, you fucked my brother. Hey, how is fucking my brother like? He liked it. He was fucking my brother like?

I could tell. Where do you fuck my brother? Cemetery? Let me show you the cemetery, all bundled up, right there, pointing. What? Where is the cemetery? What? Right there.

Oh my God. Oh, and while they were fucking. Oh, and while they were fucking. Oh, and while they were fucking. the hand, they, they picks up the hand. Or does Beth pick up the hand? One of them picks up the hand. Beth, Vera sees the hand and she's like, oh, you're playing a prank on me again? I see it's a little fucking prank, so I'm gonna pull this hand up. Oh, here's my whole boyfriend.

It's my whole boyfriend. Slight pile of dirt. And she goes, Tommy did this to you because of me, like, fucking Viraira, this this this this this this this this this thia thia thia thia thii! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi! thi. to to to thi. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, and th. Oh, and th. Oh, and she's th. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. thi. thi. thi. Vi. thi. Vi. Vira, you're thi. Vira, you're thi. thi. thi. thi. Oh, you're thi. Oh, thi watching the movie. I get that you would think that. It's like, fucking Call Roger. Call Roger's boss. Do something. Who? That guy shows up in leaves again. So they run to the bar. Well, sorry. It's not even the bar. It's not even the bar. It's a rec center. We keep calling it a bar. Oh, no, the barn. I was going to say the bar. The cerem. The bar. I was. I was. The bar. The bar. the bar. the bar. the bar. the bar. the bar. the bar. the bar. the bar. the bar. the bar. th. the bar. th. the bar. the bar. the bar. the bar. the bar. the bar. the bar. the the bar. the bar. the the the the the the bar. the bar. the bar. the bar. the bar. the bar. the bar. the bar. the bar. the bar. the bar. the bar. the bar. the bar. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. th. th. the th. th. the the th. the the the the th. th barn, the ceremonial barn, the barn, where Vera's like, hey, Beth, you wait here, I'm gonna go yell at these Satanists. Yes, and she runs in there, she's like, Tommy, you killed my boyfriend and her grandfather's like, we're gonna have to kill you now. Yes, and then when Tommy lets her go, she runs out and she doesn't tell Beth what was happening in there really, no, no. Tell me about fucking my brother again, we gotta run.

My God. And like, I don't know, then we get into like high pike describing how like, all that matters is the master. Oh, good God. This kind of religious devotion is very boring to me. Sure, yeah. Not all that matters is the master. What about baseball? What about like, I don't know.

Pumpkin sales. Pumpkin sales. What about capitalism? Oh. Anyway, Tommy gets kicked out of the Satan party by his grandpa. Yeah, and then he runs and runs and runs. So fast. Oh no, man, got kicked out of Satanism.

So he shows up at the Rex Underware, now there's an older woman belly dancing with a big snake and I thought, God, they sure did hire a lot of entertainers for this party. I have snake belly dancer. This party is whack. I can't, like, what would you do if that woman showed up at a party? I'd thi th As soon as the woman stripping showed up, I'd be like, oh, I'm out of here. I don't want to be around this. This is weird and gross. I don't like it. Fair enough.

I am a, I am quite a prude in those situations. Yeah, I guess so. I don't want to see everybody th everybody everybody everybody everybody everybody everybody everybody everybody everybody everybody everybody everybody everybody everybody everybody everybody everybody everybody everybody everybody everybody everybody everybody being weird about this, I'm gonna go. And mom's hanging a wreath on the front door that says, Bill Drindle. Bill Drindle, the wreath is a big touch for your house, you know. And she lights a jackalantern. Who carved that one do you think? I don't know, better not have been from Grandpa. Seriously! Me, Tarzan, you?

bored. That's an interaction that happens at the rec center. Oh, I missed that. With the woman who eventually gets stabbed to death in the bathroom. Okay. Oh, the woman who's dressed like Lilbo Peep or whatever? Yeah. Literally every woman's moves. We see her her boobs too. Yeah. Everyone. But I feel like she had a strict no-nipples policy. Yeah, her dress was like taped because at one point somebody pulls on it and it won't go off? Yeah, she's just all like a inner-boob. Yeah. So, meanwhile, Roger is like headed to the barn to break up the Satan party, but it seems like Vera didn't tell him about Brian's........ th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi-I. thi-I. to. to. to. to be, to be, to be, to be to be to be toe, to-like, to-like, to-like, to-like, to-like, to-like, their-like, their-like, their-like, their-like, their, their, their, to be, to be like, to be like, to be. Yeah, to be. Yeah, to be. Yeah. Yeah, to be. to be. to be. to be like, to be like, toe. toe. thi-upe. thi-upe-upe-by-by-by-by-s. the. to-wee. thease-like, thease. their-like, their-like, their-like, their-like, it seems like Vera didn't tell him about Brian's body because no one ever goes to look for it? Yeah, no, she's forgotten about that.

That's wild. It's not like they fucked. Yeah. They didn't. They never got there, did they? They never did. Or Brian, died a virgin. So they're in the bathroom. And, oh wait, what happens in the bathroom first? Oh, when she tells the devils the devils the devils the devils the devils the devils? the devils? the devil's the devil? the devil? the devil? the devil? the devil? the devil? the devil? the devil? the devil? th? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? th. to? to? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? She? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No. tosos. tos. tos. tos. tos. tos. t thin. th. thi. thi. the in the bathroom and, oh wait, what happens in the bathroom first? Oh, when she tells the devil her details. That was the line I was very proud to write down. Yeah? She starts like spelling out the problems that she's having to the Satan person that's in the bathroom with her.

Same costume, same hood, mask, dick horns. Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. She's like, yeah, could you help me with my dress? And they stab her to death. After they, she's like, can you tighten up my corset? Oh my God. Men like them tight. I was like, fuck off little bo-peep. Do they?

That lady look old too. She looked like my age. Like, go home. Regular bopeep. Yeah. Yeah, don't, you don't need to be. The only sexy costume that's appropriate at my age is like sexy something funny. Yeah. Sexy grandma, sexy banana, sexy Mario, which I'm thinking of doing this year. I still think sexy Clippy is the greatest thing I've ever seen.

Do you think sexy Luigi would be better for me? I feel like sexy Wario would be right after rally. I nailed it. Nailed it in one. Yeah. Yeah. Also Beth and Vera have a very pure friendship. I really appreciate their friendship. Yeah, get it while it lasts. Yeah, it's almost over. Mom takes, I mean the murderer takes out Beth in the closet. But first they walk in and they see the woman's dead body and they're like, oh she must be drunk. Look at this piece of shit. She's clearly dead, like at least even if you thought she was just so drunk she was passed out, like you do you check on the woman, you check on her. Yeah, she's partially undressed in a bathroom. That's a situation. So Beth opens the closet, the ccops. the c. the c. the closet. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Sheaughe. She's, th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's the. She's the. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she. Shee. Shee. Shee. Shee. Shee. Shee. Shee. Shee. Shee. She's, she's. She's, she's th. She's the. She's thea. She's just just just just just just just piece. She's just just pieceeauu. She's just just piece. She's just just piece. She's just piece. She's just just piece. She's just just piece. She's th Beth opens the closet, hangs up the coats, closes the closet, and then this beast comes

out of it and it's like, no, no, how? How? Plus, you gotta hang your coats where everybody's pooping? Oh, that's gross. It's going to get pooped all over it. Also what is Vera supposed to be? Oh, like a punk rocker, I think. She's like, the tips of her hair are like lightly dusted with black and she has on like, eye shadow.

I see. And that leather mini that she looks great in. Tell you what, Beth, tell you what, Beth, she's too good for this world. Yeah, so she gets strangled and hung up in the in the bathroom closet. Yes, she does. Oh, man and the movie just goes downhill because there's no more Beth. Yeah, I mean now it's like why do you think that's Tommy this man is five foot five it's not a man. So there's a fight that happens. Satan battle. Between the two masked satins. Yeah neither which is Tommy because Tommy's a giant, so we know they're not fucking Tommy. Maybe don't cast a giant in your movie.

But both of these people are like 511, they're neither High Pike nor Mom either. Sure. Spoiler alert, it turns out Mom has been murdering everybody. Yes. Dressed up as the Satan dick mask man. What's going on? We start shooting. Just shooting wild. A room full of people. He literally says, Tommy, freeze, don't make me shoot. Puh, shoots him. Does not give him a moment to react. So this movie's making a commentary on the police.

I think so. And then Grandpa is dying. And he says the power is in the blood and he makes Roger top heel by up on his face. And then a red dot shows up on his forehead for a second. And how? Yes. Oh man. So then the murderer falls down, takes off its hood, its mom. Yeah. Tommy finds mom. Yeah, they have this weird reconciling moment where he's like, sorry I messed up the garage and keep it so stuffy in there. Yeah, I thought I liked it stuffy, but that was just Satan. Yeah, Satan doesn't like to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have the to have to have to have to have to have to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi thea. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes I messed up the garage and keep it so stuffy in there. I thought I liked it stuffy, but that was just Satan. Yeah, Satan doesn't like to have fresh air. He likes to smell his own farts.

Ooh, Satan would though. And then he makes the sign of the cross. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because he's not evil anymore. Cut to. The ceremony is happening in the ceremonial barn again. And who's leading it?

It's Roger who says, we welcome the night. He's such a baby face in that hood. What a nerd. What a movie. Katie. Alan, you rate at first. I haven't, I gotta think. I haven't given a 10 in a while. Are you're not going to? I'm not going to, other.

Other than the incestious rape part of this film, it's a gem. Something I discovered in my later years. I probably- It sounds like you're close to the end when you say my later years. Yeah, well, I mean, come on. No, but I, like, within the last,the last like 10 years I found out about this movie. Because it was a directive video thing and I don't remember seeing it in the video store. It's, it's ticking all of your 80s boxes. It's got boobs, it's got heavy metal, it's got bad acting. It's got a plot? Question mark? Uh, seven?

All right? I'm going to be less generous than that. I think you should. Although I think if it weren't for the incestuous rape scene, I would have much, much more enjoyed this movie. Um, I'm going to give it a six. With a caveat? With just, like, I think it's the title maybe. Why didn't they ever title movies what they were actually like about?

Yeah, because Hackleander is a fucking badass name for your movie. It is, and this movie's not very badass. No, no. No. But, what are they going to call it? It's shitty metal? Yeah. Frankly, yes. Tommy's day.

I don't know. I th, I th, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thee. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tha. th Day. I don't know. I don't know. It's fine. It's very, it makes not a lick of sense. I screamed at it. Yeah. Fine. It's six. Yeah, it's six.

Yeah. Yeah. Thanks to a. Derek. Katie. Alan. Can I read you a letter, or a letter? We got a letter. Can I read you a message from Patron? Yeah.

I will start this off by saying this Patron is a native French speaker. Oh, and we were talking about the Verodica episode. Oh no. And I asked what their thoughts were on the French accents in Verodica. That was the word that I specifically asked about. Thank you. And they said, it's hard to choose. It's as if Danzig went to the Marie Chevalier school of French accent and decided, yep, I

want a badly done stereotypical accent from the 30s. There you go. Yeah, yeah. So, uh, this person's name, they wanted me to go to name them Le Mendi. What does that mean? Their name is, or Medi, Le Medi. What is that mean? Their name is Medi.

Oh, okay. But in the Danzig episode we just kept putting Le in front of everything. Oh, that's right. Because we're ma-you know what? Because we're racist, aren't we? French people? What is that, ethnicist? The Medi enjoyed that we were putting Le in front of everything. Thank you, Le Medi, and I appreciate you supporting us, and I appreciate you. Their message to us is to simply please continue doing what you're doing, including eating and drinking during the show, just because it annoys some people. And I have one question that I hope wasn't asked before. So you have to answer a question. Okay. I just want to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the to be the the to be their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. Thank the. Thank the. Thank thruu. Thank thrushe. Thank lea. Thank lea. Thank lea. Thank you. Thank lea. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I their the it annoys some people. And I have one question that I hope wasn't asked before. So you have to answer a question. Are you ready? I just want to be super clear

right now. I really have to pee. So I'm in like, I've in fight or flight mode right now. So this is going to be right off the cuff. All right, here we go. So the question is, which which horror troop are you tired of seeing in movies????. the movie. the movie. thiiiiiiiiiii? Oh. thi? Oh. thi? Oh. thi? Oh. thi? Oh. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. too. too. too. too? I. I's. I'm too. too. to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I'm to be. I'm tri. I'm tri. I'm tri. I'm tr. I'm tr. I'm tr. I just just just just to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to t, well I think we've discussed this before but now the final girls coming back and killing the big bad at the end. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Thank you again for the joy laughs and the pure love and hate you're showing to these movies. Pure hate, huh, Le Medi? You think that's good? We got some of that for some of these movies. Yeah, I guess they deserve it. They finish it off with, Viva, the ambulance. Loupe! Yes, that's that's where where where where where where where where where where where where where?? that's? that's? that's? the ambulance? that's? the ambulance? that's? the ambulance? that's? the ambulance? that's? the ambulance? the ambulance? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the their? their? their? their? the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their? their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. the? the? the. ta. ta. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. th. thoo? Yes, that's wherewolf ambulance in French. Say it to me one more time. Viva? Yeah.

The ambulance? Obulance? Loup guru. Loup caroo. I'm sure I got everything wrong in that. Le Meddy. Right in and let us know. Le Medi.

Katie, what are we're doing a film that you picked. I did pick this. We're doing the, in order, we're doing this in order, because this is the second film in the franchise, we're doing Purge Anarchy. Yeah, yeah. So I guess buckle up for that. Yeah, oh boy. It's a good movie. It feels like a good time for right now.

to do this. another episode of where willf ambulance. Patreon.com back slash where all familance find us on the internet. Go buy a Costco Middle T-shirt. Bye-bye. Empty. Clear. Oh God, go into your bladder. Maybe accent on dead pools, civeties I exe'ex at the pool. No way to make Finland's to fulfill reviews. Killing clouds and let the face. Can't live in the atmosphere.

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