Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 396- X (2022)

Episode Date: September 19, 2022

In this week's episode, we're talking about the "Texas Chainsaw Massacre"/pornography crossover of the century: the 2022 film "X." Special topics for your consideration include: an abundance of bodily fluids, old age makeup and its effect on a film's creepiness quotient, being a secret Ti West stan, a real accent bonanza, and a very specific request for one very specific dick pic (please please do not send us your dick). We reviewed Ti West's film "House of the Devil" in Episode 172, and he performed in the film "You're Next," Episode 40. Mia Goth was in the new "Suspiria" in Episode 232, and Jenna Ortega has graced our screens in both "The Babysitter: Killer Queen" (Episode 358) and "Scream 5" (Episode 374). She was also apparently in "Insidious 2," a film I genuinely cannot believe we haven't covered but maybe some other sweet day. Hey, give us a call and leave us a voicemail! You can call 412-407-7025 and let us hear your sweet sweet voices. Otherwise, find us online: Support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance where you can hear us discuss an action movie each month.  Buy merch for yourself or those you love at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance on Twitter @werebulance on Instagram @werewolfambulance. [e-mail] If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow.   Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down.  

Katie, Alan, X gonna give it to you. Oh, I was gonna go, it's first we're gonna rock, then we're gonna roll, then we're gonna pop, go let it go, X gonna give it to you. How many times, how many times are we gonna say it? Uh, this is, it'll be a bad idea for a drinking game, because X's gonna give it to you. How many times? How many times are we going to say it? It'll be a bad idea for a drinking game because X's going to give it to you. Too many times. And X does give it to you. Okay so this movie opens with warnings right about what's in it and it's literally every warning in the world. It's like nudity, sexual content, gore, violence, scares, smoking, swears. When did alcohol use become a warning?

Is it just like a trigger warning? I don't know. I don't know. I just noticed like... Very little alcohol use in this movie. Yeah. You just sip on beers. Yeah. Yeah. I just, I will be on a upcoming episode of the Fly to the Fear podcast that you've done a couple times. They got around to the B team. And I did... I'm the opener.

You know what I mean? I'm the band that only their grandmas came to see. I'm the band that their moms came to see. But I did the movie The Fog for that and the warnings for that were violence and alcohol use and I was like I guess one of those is weird but... Yeah I don't know I just wanted to let you know what's out there. I was like do I do I need a warning now? Because I drink a lot of beer y'all. Yeah. Also I might get kind of drunk in this episode and probably really drunk in the next episode. I'm going to leave my car here tonight, it's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry about you. It's been a week.

And I also brought some petite pumpkin spice cookies up so they might get added sometime too. Should I dip them in this white wine that I got that is called Vino Blanca, which just means white wine? I'm so fucking cl. Are you sure you don't want some of this? I'm good, thank you. I have my, uh, uh, typical 40-something-year-old white guy IPA that I'm drinking over here. Oh, nice grass-flavored grass. It's kind of a grapefruit-flavored grass? Yeah, I guess so. Oh, and we're back in the attic to avoid any more bug attacks. I just can't do it again. Plus it's Matt comfortable up here. It is nice. I'm like

curled up in an armchair right now. Yeah. Feels good man. Did you know much about this movie before we decided to do it? I knew that it was a film about people going to shoot a porn film in Texas in the 70s and something went terribly wrong. Okay. That's as much as I knew. I had not even heard of it. Okay. But I went into it, I gotta be honest with you, ready to hate it. Oh, weird. Yeah. It's directed by Ty West. So I don't know why I have a Ty West bias because I really liked the innkeepers. I really liked House of the Devil. I didn't really like VHS, but I don't even remember which segment was his. But I'm still th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that that that that that's that's th that's that's th th that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thee. thi. thi. that's thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that fucking guy, this fucking guy. I don't know why. You liked him as an actor in your next.

I loved him in your next. Here's, maybe I like him. I think so. Okay, so what, I gotta stop just being a dick. Also, for our Halloween month, maybe we should do the innkeeper since somehow we have never done that movie on this podcast. I feel like the movie we can make it work. Yeah, I think so. We just like the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the there's not a lot to talk about but maybe we can make it work. Yeah, I think so. We just like talking to each other. That's true. Let's see what happens. Hopefully they'll listen. they'll listen. And I want to say also, I have never seen a movie with Mia Goff that I've enjoyed. Oh really. I really don't like her. I don't know if I've seen her in anything else. She was in the the the the the remake. She she she she she she she she she she she she was in the remake. She she was in the remake. She was in the remake. She was in the remake. She was in the remake. She was in they they they they they they they they they they' they' they're they're they'll they'll they'll they're they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they they'll they'll they they they'll they'll they'll. She she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she they'll. She's they'll they'll th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She was in th. She was in th. She was in th. She was in th. She was in th. She was in th. She was in th. She was in they're they're they I really love. No, you just like talking about it. Yeah, she's just been in stuff like that. And I just, I don't like her as an actor, but I was shocked how much I liked her in this. Counterpoint, Jenny Ortega. I do love Jenny Ortega.

Yeah. Even though my kids are watching a lot of Elena of Avalor, and so I'm hearing her be like th. I be like thina be like thina be like thi thing thing thi thi thing thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I don't th- I don't th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th- I th-I th-I th-s th-s th-s th-s th-s just just just just just just just just just just just thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th just fucking... Well, that's basically what she does in this. Yeah, just fucking. Do you know anything about Kid Cutty? I know he's like about my age. I think he's from Cleveland. Okay. He's apparently an influential hip-hop guy Who I know nothing about,

other than I've heard his name. Same thing, yeah. And then I know he th th th th that he that he th that that that that that that that that that th that that that th that that that th th that th that's th th that's thi thi thi that's that's thi's the the the's thi's the's thea the's tho that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's tho tho tho tho th I've heard his name. Same thing. And then I know he's from Ohio. And then he's in the most recent Bill and Ted movie and they make a big deal about kid cutty being in it. Nice. He's one of the people that they go back in time and grab or something for their band. Okay, okay. I thought he was that's it.

Oh, I thought she was fine. I thought actually I really liked her. I thought she was like, maybe it was just that everybody else I thought really fit a 70s vibe in a way that these movies that are meant to be said in the 70s can never really capture. Except for her. She's like very modern looking. I felt like like like that like that like that like that like that like that like that like that like that that that that that th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like th like out a little. Even with that like 70s Dolly Part and hair that she had? Even with the 70s Dolly Part and hair she has. When I say I liked her the least, I liked her the least of things I liked a lot.

Sure. To be fair. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm stunned. I liked it. I liked it. So this film opens opens. I almost daring you not to like it, because it opens on a house that looks very much like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre house. The entire opening sequence, the land, the way it looks is extremely Texas Chainsaw Massacre. And they're like, come on, get mad about this.

And I did! Can you know what? I did. But I also like the cops, like our introduction to the movie is just the cops showing up and being like, you know, shit got fucked up. Yes, they're just wandering slowly around the property so you know no one's left alive. Right, right. And they're wandering around ends with two of them in the basement being like, oh, you gotta take a look at this. Yeah. We don't know what it is. And then cut to, it's 24, it's 24 it's 24 it's 24 it's 24 it's 24 it's 24 it's 24 their their their their their to their to to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the property. their their the property. tooooo. too. too. too. too. too. to. to to to to to. then cut to it's 24 hours before the movie started. Yes. And it's people at the Bayou Berlesque building. I love it.

And Mia Goth is two in lines. What's her character's name? Maxine Minsk? Minks. Minks, not Minsk. That's the capital of Belarus. You've made her a little bit more continental. Oh God her accent though. A British girl doing a southern accent. Oh she British? She sure is. Could you not tell at the end when she has to raise her voice and you're like, what? I get no, no, I did not, I did not.

Oh boy. Is she always eyebrowless? Is that just like her thing? Yeah, that's like a way that she looks. Yeah. I didn't know if it was a choice for this movie or not. No, I think it's just her. Yeah.

She's one of those people that you're like, I can absolutely see why you're a like kind of weird looking, you know? But that's like kind of a thing for like a certain style of supermodel, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, of course she's gorgeous. It's fine. For sure.

Like everybody in this movie is drop dead gorgeous, even like the people you're supposed to like, oh, you're just a regular guy. And I was like, Bunco, Matthew McConaughey? Yes, exactly. You're just like, oh, you're tactically a very handsome man. Who is from, is either Australian or from New Zealand? Yeah. He's doing the most convincing Southern accent in this film. I do believe this film was shot in New Zealand. Okay. Because the guy who is the sheriff. the sheriff is the sheriff. th. th. th. th. th. th. It is th. It is he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he's is he's is he's is he's he's he's. It's he's. It's. It's to to to he's actually. It's. It's. It's. It's actually. It's actually. It's actually. It's actually. It's actually. It's actually. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's actually. It's actually. It's actually. It's actually. It's actually. It's he. It's actually. It's he. It's actually. It's actually. It's he. It's actually. It's actually. It's he. It's actually.the guy who is Howard is from New Zealand. Howard is... The old man. Okay. Okay. And he actually played a pretty big ork in the Lord of the Rings movies. Really? He's not the guy with the hand on his face. No, no, no,

not one of the orakai. He's one of the orakai. The oraq high are the orcs that were made by Soramon. Is everybody asleep now? I'm still awaiting my explanation. So Soramon made the Orachi to be like these Uber orks that were like, if you remember from the movies, they're the ones that are made in the mud and the other orcs are bringing them out. Yeah, I the other or the other or the other or the other or the other or the other or the other or the other o o o o' the other o' the other o' the other o' the other o' the other o' thorks, thorks, thorks, thoks, thics, thics, thics, thi, thir o' thi, thi, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is the other other thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooes. thes. thes. thes. that way. No, Soron made the other orcs who were corrupted elves. Oh, so I know that? Yeah, yeah. Okay.

That was fine. That was a quick and succinct explanation. Relaxed. I've been watching. I know one thing nobody in the world has ever liked Lord of the Rings. I've been watching the Lord of the Rings series that's on Amazon and enjoying the hell out of it. Yeah, Perry told me it's great. And having missie's like, well, what's that?

I'm like, I'll just tell you the shortest way possible. It's a... Ooh, can I do a little bit of, what's it called, not business? Housekeeping? Yeah. I need to say a load of Victoria in the Pacific Northwest who works in a grocery store where she ran into my friends Kason and Perry who were out visiting from Pittsburgh. They used to live there and

Kaysen was wearing a World Ambulance t-shirt and Victoria was listening to Wear Wolf Ambulance at the time they bumped into each other and they apparently had a really nice conversation and I just want to say hi to Victoria. And second I want to say a get well soon to our listener Diane who just went through surgery and it's going to be housebound for a while so we're hoping she uh oh find some comfort in listening to us get progressively drunker as the evening goes on. I will also send a shout-out to Roland Blackburn who sent us two copies. I. I. I. I. I. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to their. their, their, their, to to their, to to to to to to their, their, their, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their their their their their their their the. their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi Blackburn who sent us two copies of his book that are downstairs and I will give you your copy and they're signed to each of us. Oh that is so kind. Yeah. What's his book? I will don't remember because I left it

downstairs. In the next episode I will tell you the title of that book because I ain't running downstares. Let's be honest everybody. you're not running downstairs between episodes either so just keep it yours just edit the whole thing out. No I will I will give the next episode big reveal of Roland Blackburn's book title. He's a very sweet human being has been very kind to us and was nice enough to send us copies of his book. Yeah. Yeah. I mean I'm a big fan of him on Twitter th th. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th the th th the the th the th th the the the th th the the the th. I'm the the th. I th. I'm the th. I'm the the the the the thi. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the next the the the the the the next the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tip. I tip. I tip. I tip. I tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip.. Cocaine? Yeah, yeah. Strip clubs? Yeah. I mean, I'm also like coming off of Blackphone.

I'm like, can we not be in 1979? Can we not be there? Yeah. But I want to be honest with you, I didn't hate it in this. I think it's done in such a way that you don't... It doesn't, it looks like it's from the 70 70, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, it doesn't, it looks like it's from the 70s. Yeah. You're swept up in it in a way that like Blackphone can't do. Ty West knocks it out of the fucking park when he does a period piece.

I think I like Ty West. The House of the Devil is a lost 80s gem up until like the last 15 minutes when it turns into a rob zombie film, but it's still fun. Oh, that's right. When you have to dig through the ditches. I still need to get one of those sides where like someone just did the dig the witches in the ditches but did it as live laugh love. I think those are very funny. Your birthday is coming up. My birthday's not.

Six months away. So Mia goth this doing lines of coke and looking in the mirror and going... With the $2 bill, which I like because it's probably lucky for her, her lucky Coke bill. She's like, you're a fucking sex simple in the mirror, which is how I start every day. You honestly ought to. Yeah. Line of cocaine. Affirmations. I also tell anybody who will listen to that I got to tan these titties.

Tann these titties. You'll also tell anybody who will listen about a vasectomy because everybody who's ever had a vasectomy just wants guys buttons as I ask me about my vasectomy. It's traumatic, we all broke our dicks. I don't know if you know what happened. So what is this nuclear backdrop that we're getting outside the strip club? It's just, it's like in Louisiana where all the oil refineries are. Okay. Yeah. It's very, right.there. Right, right, right. But it's still

like, where else would you put a titty bar? But in the middle of like this industrial complex where guys getting off their shift are going to come in and spend all their money on beer and boobies. I guess so. Still saying tiddy bar? It's a titty bar. It's a titties out we don't find tiddy offensive I speak for all women when I say titties just fine I'm every woman you could say titty I love that I love that someday we're gonna put out an album now that's what I call now that's what I call now that's what I call that's what I call 2023 now that's what I call losing our day jobs now that's what I call losing our day jobs. Now that's what I call a mistake.

So we're told that they're going to another location and make an adult film. Yeah. With, oh gosh, what is Brittany Snow's name? Bobby Lynn? Yeah. And what is Kid Cuddy's name? Jackson Hole? Jackson Hole? So good!

Yeah. Do you ever get mad that you didn't write something? It's such a good bad porn name. It really fucking is like every bit about it. Okay. Yeah. And Jenna Ortega and her boyfriend, R.J, who is like an avant-garde college filmmaker and she's going to be holding the mic. And she's very prudish, we're told.

Yeah, or just not as freaky-deaky as these people. Sure. Like, she's like, regular. Maybe, yeah, she's a bit of a square though. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah, yeah. But R.J, like feels like a square who's like trying to get loose. Yeah, he's like, these cool people hired me.

I'm gonna fucking act cool. Yeah, and I'm gonna make an artsy porn film. When he and Jen Ortega's character Lorraine are arguing, she's like, I don't understand why you're doing all this. And he said, because it is possible to make a good dirty movie. And I thought, fuck yeah, R.J. For sure. Give the people what they want. But this is even like Texas Chainsaw Massacre down to the way they're sitting in, you know what I mean? For sure, 100 percent. the the the the the the the the the th percent, the the th percent, th percent, the sort th th all the sort of style of van that they're in.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which again, I'm like he's he's defying you like he's sort of like setting up an expectation of what this movie's going to be. Right. And then yeah, he wants you to be mad about it. Yeah, it's a little confrontational I appreciate that. I don't really like being confronted in general. It's not comfortable. So they stop at a gas station to pick up supplies, which is Wonder Bread and Peanut Butter and Jelly, or Wonder Bread and Ham and Cheese. And two six packs of beer.

Yeah, that's enough for a weekend. Six people who are making a porn. Okay. And we see a preacher on the TV. Oh, this may give me real Johnny Knoxville movie vibes. Oh, nice. Yeah. What was that thing called? Uh, oh, I don't know. We just did it. Literally like three months ago. Gone. The other night it was like, oh man we should do. We're all head rec's the that. that. the thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. We th it. Literally like three months ago. Gone. The other night I was like, oh man, we should do. We're all head wrecks. Wait a minute. He's fool.

He's fool. We summoned the darkness. We summoned the darkness. There you go. Yeah, raise a glass to yourself. I was just raising it to my lips. It went up a lot higher than your lips and had to go back down to us. I was gesticulating while I was doing it. I'm an Italian.

I'm a coveno. So, but while we're, while they're inside getting supplies and listening to the preacher and sort of like commiserating from the woman behind the counter who is also into the preacher and not into the commiseration that they're doing about these Bible thumpers. We also saw the preacher at the opening sequence of 24 hours from where we are now. Right. Every time we see a television he will be on it. Yes. Fuck that guy. And he's talking about how he lost his daughter to these like satanic dark forces. Right. And we all go, well I know who that's gonna be right? No not me. Oh really? I was like I'm watching a movie. Wow I like that

we flip the script that's usually my my way I'm going I had a real like look at these people. How look at these moving images? Yeah oh it's a talkie I fucking this scene where kid goodies pump and gas and Bobby Lins like they're the thin tho th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th talkie. I fucking love this scene where Kid Cuddy's pumping gas and Bobby Lynn's like, shoot it from below, it'll look like it's coming from his cock. And it does, and it looks great. And I just, I was like, you know what, fuck it, I'm on board for this movie. Let's do it. Yeah, but if I'm trying to go somewhere and you're just fucking the gas tank. Yeah it's true. Come on Kid Cutty, put gas in there. Oh also we saw that a car or a truckhead hit a cow on the road and its hot dogs around

the outside. It exploded it. There's a lot of hot dogs inside a cow. Yeah, well yeah, come on, all beef the thanks. Dude, I love hot dogs, don't do this to me. Yeah, you know what beefed. the the the the the the the the their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. toge. thi. tha. tog. tog. tog. tog. tog. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. toy. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. this to me. Yeah, you know what beef is, right? Not their insides. They're mostly, it's like just under the skin. Oh, I'm a 602 vegetarian. I'm gonna get smug. Fuck you, hot dogs rule. I like the idea that just underneath the cow's outer layer of fur, it's just rows of hot dogs. Pre-made

This is your chop your flank your hot dog also at this point when he pulls into the gas station we see that the van says plowing service on the side which I thought it's really funny really funny really funny really funny it's not like lingered upon it just drives by and that's it and I laughed I really like that because why would you have that van in the south it don't snow down there you're not plowing it doesn't it doesn't it doesn't it doesn't the the the the th it doesn't th it doesn't th it doesn't th it doesn't th it doesn't th it doesn't th it doesn't th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th out tho th out th out th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th out th out th out thou tou tou tou tou tou ttou tttou ttou tou tttou tttou ttttou t's it. And I laughed, I really liked that. Yeah, because why would you have that van in the south? It don't snow down the air. It doesn't have a plow on the front? It's about sex. But Mia gothawks almost vomits when she sees the cow because she hates blood and guts.

I mean I would probably almost garbunnel that too. Yeah, so they arrive at the farm. So their Airbnb, presumably? How did he find this point? Their Airbnb? For porn? For porn? Air, bed and porn. So they had to go to Texas because it was too expensive to rent some place in Louisiana where they started off.

Okay. Yeah. And so he he talked to this guy, Howard. So he goes up and knocks on the door the door the door the door the door the door the door th th th th th th the door, th th th th th th th the door, th the door, th tho, th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiolk, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. th. to. th. thin, I I I I I I I'm, I'm, I'm to too. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooomp. the. the talked to this guy Howard. So he goes up and knocks on the door and he's like, hey, I'm going to talk to Howard. And Howard pulls a fucking gun on him. Yes, he does right away. And then they talk it through and Howard's like, oh, don't worry, it's not even loaded. And, Chekhov's gun. And R.J says, oh, I have the same thing in the glove compartment of the van, an unloaded gun. So as they are unloading from the car, Maxine sees like a face looking down at her from an

upstairs window. Yes. Very spooky. Yeah. Yeah. Very spooky. it was the actor who played the woman with dementia slash snake lady in the taking of... Deborah Logan. Yes that's the one I was gonna say Lorna Dorgan. That was actually an elderly woman though right? In this movie or in that in that movie yes. This is clearly a young person wearing old person's makeup and that is my beef with this. Do you know who it is? No. It's me a got. Don't fucking Tilda Swinton this shit. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. This. This is. This is. This is. This is. It is. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. my beef with this. Do you know who it is? No. It's Mia Goth. Don't fucking Tilda Swinton this shit. That's why in the... Really? Her like nose and features look so different! Wow!

They're a prequel to this film has just come out or is about to come out called Pearl with Mia Goth playing the main character. And there's another movie called Maxine that's coming out. Yeah, or they shot it at the same time or they're- They shot Pearl at the same time as this- Okay, Maxine is then going to be made. Oh, okay, okay. Yeah. All right, all right. Yeah.

All right. That's good. See, that's better that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's better that's that's better that's better that's better that's better that's that's that's better that's better that's better that's better that's better that's better that's better. that's better. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. that's better. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they's they're they're they're the the the the the the the the old man is also not an old man. No, but he's an older man. I think he's like, he's in his 60s. Okay, so he's not, yeah. It's just the way that, this is my only real beef with this movie, is the way that the woman moves is how a young woman moves. She does not have, she just doesn't nail that one.

There's no joint. But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I feel, I feel, I, I, I, I feel, I feel, I feel, I, it's, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. It, th. It's just, th. It's just, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the, it's, it, it's, it, it, it, know what it's like when you stand up in your knees crack. Sure. But that's okay. It's all right. But there's also like this, throughout the movie, there is this mirroring of those two, of Mia and Pearl. No, that's perfect, yeah. So like it's really interesting that they chose to do this shadow, so you never fully see him. Yeah, that's a weird thing about Howard. You never really see his face.

I mean you see it, but mostly what you see is his teeth. Right, and his eyes are always shadowed. Yeah, which is like, oh, that's cool. That's like a, like, it adds this air of mystery to him. Because you don't know what his deal is. Right. Right. He he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he comes he is, and he is he is he is he is th. He is th. He is th. He is like, he is like, he is like, he is like, he is like, he is like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. He. He's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to ree to him. Because you don't know what his deal is. Right. Because he comes in and he's talking to them about like how this was set up for soldiers and the Civil War. Yeah. And he goes they didn't see any action though and Rob goes, yeah that's true. And I was like, thanks, thanks. Thanks. How do you know these soldiers didn't see any action? He knows the campaigns. There was no Texas porn soldiers. No Texas porn shoulders. I love it, he just got a chance and took it.

Cheer your shot, Rob. You didn't shoot your shot. I also love when Wayne refers to Maxine's future fiance. Yeah. I thought that was such a cleverly, like, throwaway line that's really fucking funny. Yeah. Yeah. Because he's at least, what, 10, 15 years older than she is. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. he. he. he. he. he. he. He. he. he. He. He. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. th. th. th. th. He th. He's. He's th. He's th. I th. I th. I he. I he. I he. I he. I he. I th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. He's th. He's th. He like throwaway line that's really fucking funny. Yeah. Because he's at least what, 10, 15 years older than she is. Oh God, if that. Yeah.

And he calls her his future fiance. And then later Bobby Lynn's like, I see why? Wayne left is wife for you. You're like, oh, fuck. Future fiance. I like that she immediately goes sideboob out. Yeah. She's like, yeah, I'm gonna go wander around and just overalls. Nude but for overalls.

Meanwhile, we're told she does not like people staring at her, but also wants to be a porn star. And famous, she's a sex symbol. You want to be a sex symbol. It's people looking at you. And she's been made uncomfortable already by the older people looking at her. Right, right, right. But no, wander around and overalls in no shirt, you do you?

And at this point I said, hey Missy, this movie, should be called Side Titty. And she was like, yeah, no, you know how hard that guy is creeping though. Howard. Yeah. Do it anyway. Yeah. So then they're like, yeah, let's shoot a porno. Yeh!

I like the whole subplot of it being like a really good film. Where like, um, what's his face? R.J shows, whatever they shot that day to Wayne. And, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they. Yeah, they, the his face? RJ shows, whatever they shot that day to Wayne, and he's like, feel how hard my cock is right now. And R.J. does. Yeah, he just grabs it and they both just stand there. I loved it. I wanted R.J. To be like, oh, sweet, that's a hard cock. Well done, buddy But I love that he got such a hard cock about it being a good movie. Yeah. I love that. Not even excited about the pornography that he saw, just that he's making a good movie. Right.

And so when Kid Cuddy and Bobby Lynn, I'm sorry, when Jackson Hole and Bobby Lynn are fucking, the RJ is giving them, he's like, do thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, th, the, the, the, they, they, they, they, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I's, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I I, I I I, I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm, I'm thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, tho, tho, tho, tha, tho.a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'l, tho, tho, tho. tho, not th, do this, do that. And RJ's or Kid Cuddy's response is, you keep to filming, let me do the screwing. Yeah, he says tells him to stay in his lane. Let me do the screwing. And yes, Maxine is wandering around nude but for her overalls. And she gets in the lake. Yeah. Well, totally nude. Totally nude. Overall's abandoned. And what's in the lake?

Croc a gator? Croc a gator. Yeah. So when I read the description of this movie, it's basically what you said earlier, when I asked you if you'd heard of it, yeah. It was like an unexpected threat emerges. And I was like, oh, please let it be the gaiters. Like, I was freaking out that that that was the unexpected the unexpected the unexpected the unexpected the unexpected the unexpected the unexpected.. Crox. Crox. th. C th. C. Cro. Cro. Cro. C, th. Croo? Croo? Croo? Croo? Crook. Crook, th. Crook. Crook. Crook, th. Croc, croc, croc, croc, crock. Crook. Crook. Croc. Croc. Croc. Croc. Croc. Crock. Crock. Crock. Crock. Crock. Crock. Crock. Crook. Crook. Crook. Crook. Croke. Croke. Croke. Croke. Cro. Cro. Cro. Cro. Cro. Cro. th. th. Cro. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the. the the the the, the the t. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C., oh please let it be the gaiters like I was freaking out that that was the unexpected threat and I was like please let this be a secret creature movie because we haven't done a creature movie in ages sure and I was really excited that it was it's not no no you're right although the gator does get a little bit of something something the gator plays a role yes. But I thought that scene was

phenomenally well shot, extremely tense. So tense, it's basically floating behind her. She has no idea that it's there. And she... While she's being watched. Right. So that's the so it's double tension. The old double tense. As they say. Yeah. Very good. She gets out and finds a withered old lady beckoning her in slow motion. Seems fine. We also get the post-porn shoot scene where Bobby Lynn is cleaning come off of her back and throws the cum rag at Jenna Ortega. It's a mean thing to do. It's very mean.

Very mean. Jenna just goes like, oh. How do you not immediately just throw it back at that breast? I'm not touching that with my hand. Gotta get it off you? It doesn't talk. So there's this like lemonade scene. Yes. Which is being mirrored between Pearl and Maxine. Right. And then Bobby Lynn and

Jenna Ortega maybe? Maybe? I remember now. I remember really liking it and I have no notes on it. Yeah, but it was really cool. It was just this really interesting like, like juxtaposition of the, again, like that mirroring. There's also this really great thing that he does where when a scene is going to change, you get a glimpse of the scene, and then the scene you've been watching, a glimpse of the scene, the scene you've been watching, and then the other scene starts.

Yeah, it's very disconcertcerting. Yes, it makes you off off kill dirt. Yes, yes, yes, yes. So yeah the... Is it motocross night? Why is this happening? Welcome to in front of Allen's house, tragway. Thursday, Thursday, Thursday, Thursday. That's monster trucks, come on. 8 p.m. See, there's this really tense lemonade scene, but I love that Mia gothaw's way of handling it is just chugging the glass of lemonade and be like, okay, gotta go. I like that because she's southern. She's got to be polite.

Exactly. She can't not drink it, but she's like, I'm gonna drink it as fast as I can. And then Howard comes home and... Well, first Pearl says to her, I was young once, too. Yeah. He talks to her about, like, I don't know if this is the point where she starts bringing up like not living the life she'd wanted to live. Right. But, yeah. Which is this thing that Pearl keeps, like part of her, your sexy mantra is, you deserve to live the life that you deserve. Right. Maxine's, yeah. Maxine, sorry, sorry.

Oh, that's right, because she's talking about how Howard served in both world wars. And she goes there was, it wasn't anything he wouldn't do for me back then. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then tries to like touch her side through her. I mean she is to be fair, full nude but for overalls. Not that that gives anyone a right to touch you. But why did you not put some clothes on before you went to visit this woman? She had no clothes with her. Yeah. The older woman tries to like to touch her side and then th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, she was, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thu, thu, she is, she is, she is, she is, she is, she is, she is, she is, she is, she is, she is, she is, she is, she is, she is, she is, she is, she is, she is, she is, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thutouch her side and then successfully touches it says it'll be our secret yeah then I wrote Mia goth runs funny she does run a bit like Khyat her reefs arms akimbo but so at this point I'm like oh this is real weird and creepy and if that was a legit old person I would like the fact that you could tell that it wasn't an old person somehow made it more palatable

you think so yeah I would have felt yeah I guess it would have been a whole lot creepier if it was a genuine old person right I would have liked that more okay yeah okay I don't know why I was like it's fine it's a young yeah I don't know I guess we'll get to talking about yeah yeah yeah the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th the th th th th th to to th I to th I th I to to th I to to to th I to to th I th I th th th th I th th I th th th th I th I to to to th I to to to th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thin thin the the the the the the the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, I don't know. I guess we'll get to talking about this. So she doesn't clean up the glasses because Howard comes in and sees them. Right. I guess she wants him to see them. Yeah, yeah, she's kind of chiding him almost. And then we see a bunch of creepy dolls all wearing the same makeup as Maxine, which is like blue eye shadow and light pink lipstick. It's weird.

I think it's creepy. This is where I wrote, I hope I'm crazy when I'm old. I just want to like have people be obligated to care for me even though I'm like, it's fucking out of my gourd, you know? Is that a bad thing to want? No, I think it's a perfect thing to one. Have you, have you, have you let Lucy know about this, Jen? I mean, she's just five. And so is this when we see Pearl putting on the eye shadow?

Or does that come later? Okay. This is where, so Maxine runs back to the cabin, the guest house, I guess, is kind of what it is. Oh, that's right. You're right. And then she has her scene with Jackson Hole. The farmer's daughter scene.

The farmer's daughter scene. She's wearing like a pig tales and a bandana. Uh-huh. That's what's what's a fom's-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-oes-a-oes-oes-o-o-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s. that's that's that's that's that's what's what's that's-s-s. I's what's what's what's what's what's-s-s. I's-s. I is what is what is what is what is what is what is what is what is what is that's-s-s-s-s-s-s. I is that's-s. I is what is what is what is what is what is what is what is what is what is what is what is what is what is what's-s. that's-s. that's-s. that's-s. that's that's-s. that's-s. that's that's that's-s. that's that's what's thoera-s. thoaua-s. that's-s. that's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's what's that's what's moaning, I felt, was very un-ungood. Oh, I have the note. She moans like a funky ghost. Funky ghost. She was like, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh. If I'm ever haunted, I hope the ghosts are funky. But so Pearl's at the window watching this fucking yeah and for a moment Maxine like sees herself as the old lady. She turns around a looks at Pearl they make eye contact and then there's like this like Freaky Friday thing.

Well I think you're supposed to think that Pearl is seeing herself fucking kiddy. Got it. Okay oh it's in's in Pearl's mind, not in Maxine's mind. I think so. I think we've got a POV, a Pearl of View. Pearl of Vision. All right. But it's super, super, super, super creepy. It's super creepy, and then she gets all horned up from it and goes in the house and starts like, this is where she starts kind of like dancing for her husband.

Yeah. And it's very clearly a young woman doing it because it's like, no, like I'm only 38 and I cannot move that fluidly. You know, my hips lock up. But Howard says he can't because of his heart and it is clear that this is an ongoing issue for them. But then again, like I feel like if you can can't a a thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the and thi and thi and the and the and th and th and it's clearly th and it's clearly th and it's that's that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th and it th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and thi thi thi thi thi thi the and the and go the the the the the the the the the the the the the the and go the and go the and go the and go the and it is clear that this is an ongoing issue for them. But then again, like I feel like if you can carry firewood, you can finger bang your wife. Well Justin Gray, get that shirt going. No, no, no. I don't know, make it scaw. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's doing like enough physical labor, but he just like...

You can pleasure your wife. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think she wants more than a finger-banging. Take what you can get, Pearl. Then we see, uh, Wayne making baloney and cheese sandwiches. Then we see, uh, Wayne making baloney and cheese sandwiches. And then we get a baloney kiss, which I was like, oh, bolognyny the the the the the the th th thi thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you Wayne. Yeah, it's just making a baloney and two sandwiches. And then we get a baloney kiss, which I was like, how baloney kisses.

Gross. And Jenna Ortega is staring at Jackson Hole. Yeah. And what is it? Bobby Lynn's like, oh, I don't mind if you look at him. And he's like, she's right, I don't mind. I like that a lot. So they're having this conversation about like how do they just fuck people without it meaning anything, essentially.

Right. And R.J is like a pompous prick. And it's like, it's a movie. It's not real life. Yeah. To which Jenna Orteg says, I want to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to to to to to to to to to to to to to thage, thage, thage, thage, thage, thage, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, the the the the the the the the the the the the th, the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. And, they's, they're they're thi. they're they're thi. they're they're they're they're thi. they're thi, to be in this movie. Yep. And then he fucking freaks out. Yeah. Of course he does. Yeah. And he was like, oh, it's every dude.

But before that happens, yeah. Um, Britney Snow sings landslide. Yeah. And I wrote here, oh no, it's Lanslide. Is Alan okay, someone please check on Alan welfare check, please. Because I know that song makes you cry. So good. It's such a good song, too. Just like a montage of an aged woman being aged.

Anyway, yes. How did I not get a text while you were watching this? Are you okay? I figured you had already watched it because of the text I had previously sent you. So yes, RJ does not want her to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the song. It. It. It's a good. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It. It's. It's. It's, the the the the the the the t. It's t t t the t toda. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the because of the text I had previously sent you. So yes, R.J. does not want her to do a scene in the movie. Yeah. And then R.J. and Wayne have a talk. Yeah. And Wayne is very like sensible and he's like, yeah man, you can say she can't do it. She's gonna do it anyway. And wouldn't you rather be here rather than they're doing it with strangers? Yeah, although it is in his benefit. Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, no, Wayne is totally like manipulating the situation.

Absolutely. And they have this conversation where R.J's like, you can't just change the plot halfway through and someone's like, they did it in psycho. Yeah, well, yeah, no, Jenner Or Tegger said it to him, and he's like, yeah, yeah, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, R. R. R. R. R. R. that, Rga said it to him. And he's like, yeah, but oh, oh, that's different. Yeah. But there is a line that Wayne says to R.J, which is, because you ain't been 42 and I've been 23. So good. And I loved that. Yeah. I love that. I to somebody at some point. I'm going to use that on Lucy all the time. You ain't been 38 and I've been 5.

You're going to deliver it in the McConaughey voice too? Why wouldn't I? I hate to be the one to tell you this, but ain't none of them nice girls. Wain. Wain. Yeah. Yeah. That's true, tho'n. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It that's that's that's th. that's th. th. th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the. It's the. It's to. It's. It's. It's. It's the. It's to. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. the. the. the. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's all nasty. So she makes her scene in the movie. And I like that this is very tastefully done. Yeah. Because to me, Jenna Ortegill straight looks like a child. She's a kid, yeah.

So it's just like... She takes off her crucifix. And Jackson Hole is just in a bathrobe and we see through the lens of the camera, that she's going th. th camera, that she's going to go down on him and then the scene cuts. Do you love that he does push-ups before he films the scene, so you can try to pop it up? Oh yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, whenever you make it porn, you got to do a bunch of push-ups before you do it. And then I thought who's going to hold a mic of a mic of a mic of a mic mic mic mic mic mic mic mic mic mic mic mic mic mic mic mic mic mic mic mic mic mic mic mic mic. But Gami has Dick Dar, like Esther in the orphan. Because every time someone's touching a dick, she knows about it.

Oh yeah, she's real horned up. She gets real horned up. And then R.J's crying in the shower. Uh-huh. Did you feel for him? I did. Oh, also, another reason I thought that General Ortega was just a child is because her underwear said Sunday. No! No! No, oh no, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi. thi. thi. that's thi. thi. thi. that's thi. that's that's thi. that's that's thi. that no I didn't notice that. That is very

childlike. Yeah. Or that's heartbreaking. Yeah. Yeah. So RJ's full on sobbing in the shower. It's rough. And then he's like, fuck this and he's going to take the van and leave and abandon them all there. Yeah. So he, he spins, you know, spins out in the van, what's that, you know? Peels out? Peels out. Sorry, words are hard for me right now. It's all good. He catches Pearl and the headlights while listening to Don't Fear.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Which I was very stoked about. . Because, the, the, th. I, th. T. T. T. th. th. T. T. T. th. T. T. th. th. th. T th. th. T tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. It. It. It. It......................................................................................................................... slaps. I have a lot of notes about that. Yeah. He is angry and could just drive right by her, but instead he gets out of the van. He's like, hey, are you okay? Yeah.

He seems like a very nice kid. Sure, yeah. She goes, fucking ropes him. Yeah, yeah, hugs him. Give him a little, a little, a little, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, tho, th, th, th, th. He, th. He, th. He, th. He, th. He, th. He, he, he, he, he, he, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he. He's, he. He's, he. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He, he. He's, maybe we should just go find your husband. Oh, what's she doing? What did that happen? She stabs him? Yeah, she put a knife in his fucking neck. She stabs him to the bridge from Don't Hear the Reaper. I'm gonna say, if you're gonna die, and I don't want anyone to die, but if you're gonna die in a horrible murder... That news for you, we're all going to die. Do it to the freak out part of Don't Fear the Reaper because that makes the song and the radio edits that take that out are a real bummer.

Let it be all seven god damn minutes. Yeah. Once I was on a plane that was caught in an electrical storm and I was like, I'm going down. And I was like, what am I going to listen to in my last moment. I had my iPod with th. Oh. I had th. I had th. I had th. I had th. I had th. I had th. I had to th. I had to th. I had to to th. I was. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the th. th. the the the the. the. the. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. theeeeeeeeeeeeeee. theeeee. the. the. the. the. the. the. had my iPod with me. Oh yeah, yeah. You know what song I chose? Was Higher and Higher by Jackie Wilson, because it seems like the perfect song to die too. For sure, for sure. It feels like Stephen Spielberg was directing your final scene. Panned out. What song would you pick if you were going to die? Oh, I, oh, it's got to be like love song by the cure or something, thure..... Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th. Oh, th. th. th. th. th th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that, that's that, that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's,'s got to be like love song by the cure or something. Oh my God, what? I'm going out crying, I'm not going out.

Would that also be your stripper song? Whenever I'm alone. You're just sobbing while you take your clothes off. You make me feel like I'm home again. That's a good stripper song, though. I did a little tushy push while I said home again. My struper song is going to be, I put a spell on you, but then I'm going to come out and just build a full-size wicker fan. Is it going to be the screaming Jay Hawkins version of it?

No. Okay, all right, okay. Need a Simone? What do you? Okay, all right, yeah. My girl, Nina. Anyway, yeah. My girl, Nina.

Anyway, yes, don't fear the Reaper freak out. the freak out. their freak out. She stabs him on one side and then the other side she stabs him like she's making Swiss cheese she stabs him so many fucking times the blood sprays the headlights yeah so that the scene is now lit in red which I thought was really good so cool so good and I was like so this is surrogate fucking at this point it seems like she's getting it a a little bit yeah yeah yeah thrusting it yeah I was watching this this this this this this this this this this this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is this is this is this is this is this is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is thi the thi the the the the the thi the the the thi the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th little bit. Yeah, she's thrusting and thrusting and thrusting. Enjoying it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was watching this movie with my husband who turned to me and said, there's a lot to unpack in that scene. 100% rough. Two things you've gotten totally right in this movie. Yeah. Those soldiers did not see any action. He gestured at it like, I respect this historical accuracy. Chipped his cap to the movie. No, that's right. That's true. That's true. And this woman needs a lot of therapy. A lot of therapy. And the song just keeps going. We're into like the song beyond at this point. Yeah. Until she goes and turns the van off. Yeah. Yeah. So crazy.

I also like that in this part of the movie, you don't really, you haven't really gotten a sense of like what's where on the property? Like you know there's a house, a driveway, a sort of a guest house and a lake in some outbuildings. You don't really know how far things are from each other. You don't know like what direction thir the direction the direction the direction thiiiiiiiiiiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thooomoes so thi. So, thoomoomoomoomoomoomo thoomo thoom- thoom-s. So, so crazy thoom-s. I tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I th. I th. I th. I th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, to thi. So, toeeeaa. So, toea. So, thoooooooooooooooo from each other, you don't know what direction they're in. I like that sort of also disorienting factor. Yeah, the initial scene where they walk from the farmhouse to the barnhouse that they're staying in is a really long scene of them walking. So you think it's really far away and then you see it from the farmhouse and it's like a stone throw from the house. Because when Mia Goth has the lemonade scene, and then she turns and runs back to the

cabin. Right, right. And she's there really quickly. Right. It's like not a long run, but yeah. Yeah, pretty wild. So Howard comes. I think this is where Jenna Ortega gets up and realizes that RJ isn't there. That's right. You're right. And then we see Wayne and then there's like a when the shot cuts back to Wayne it's a wider and he's wearing little teeny tiny

tiny onions. I really liked. But she's like I'm really concerned about R.J. I think he did not take it well. You know what happened earlier. I think he did not take it well that, you know, what happened earlier. You think? So we should go find him. Yes. And Wayne's like, fine. I don't want to be in the middle of this. But I'm also a decent dude.

Yeah. I like that nobody's an asshole in this movie. Yeah. I mean, earlier when they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their their they're talking about like fucking and Bobby Lint's like yeah, like queer, straight, white, black, like who gives a shit? Like just have fun. She does however throw a comragg at a woman who does not appreciate that but. Just to loosen her up. It doesn't hit her or anything. Just a little little party fun. Party come. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. By the way, I am so bum to myself for not saying th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Yeah, thi. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. Yeah, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Yeah, thi. thi. Yeah, thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to thi. to to thi. to to theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. thi. thi. thi. thi. no! By the way, I am so bum to myself for not saying jizz regularly because I hate saying come. We do say jizz mostly on the same thing. Yeah, yeah.

The boy jizz agreement. The boy jizz agreement. Come seems so aggressive. It's a hard, it's a hard sounding word. Sure. Where jizz is like a little party. Yes, it's a hard sounding word. Sure, where jizz is like a little party. Jizz, yes, it's like jazzy. But da da da da da da da da da da da da come. It just doesn't work as well.

You're right, it's too hard. It's like the German language, you're like, oh God. Okay, whatever you say. So, uh, Wayne goes out and, um... He ends up in the barn. He does. Looking for R.J. And he steps on a nail. Oh, you see it happening.

You're just like, no. Yeah. And he calls a cow, a cheeseburger. Yeah. I love that like, this shitty thing has happened to you. You have to pull it out. You know that's that's going that's going that's going that's going that's going that's going that's going that's going that's going that's going that's going that's going that's going that's going that's going that's going that's going that's going that's going that's going that's going to be that's going tothis this shitty thing has happened to you you have to pull it out you know that's gonna be so painful the cows are all yelling at you and having still having the presence of mind to call a cow a cheeseburger I love that question yeah yeah yeah you ever had to pull a nail out of your foot

yes yeah yeah yeah that's fun yeah when I was like 10 yeah oh I was like 38 I did it a nail went right through a pair th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho thou the the the the the thou the the the thou the the thoooooooooo I did it. And Nail went right through a pair of bands that I was wearing. Oof. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just. I didn't, I stepped on that wearing a flip flop and I didn't realize it until my foot felt wet and I looked down. I was like, that's blood. I don't know if my little tiny body just went in a shock or what? Your nerves hadn't grown all the way down to your feet yet. You were just fucking useless. What are these floppy things in the end of my legs? God damn flippers. So yeah, he steps on this and Jenny Ortega at the same time is being confronted by Howard that's like why you out here? He tells her to go into the cellar and get the other light, which, fuck, no. Word to everyone? No. No.

If a man tells you to go in his cellar, you never go in his cellar. I don't care if you're a boiler repairman. You don't go in his cellar. Where's the boiler? Downs you bring it up? Fuck you then. Yes, this is like being intertwined with Wayne looking through a hole in the barn. Yeah. I love this scene where she goes to...

Wayne is looking through a hole in the door because he sees movement outside of the door. Doesn't say anything, just looks for a hole through, he is to bend over to look through while his foot is bleeding. No. And just as a pitchwork is coming through to stab him in the eye, as an homage to Fulchie, I can only assume. Presumably. As the pitchwork hits him in the eye, cut to her tuturning a light, in the b in the b in the the their to their to their to their their to their their their their to stop, to their their their their th. their, thigh. thigh. their, thigh. thigh. thigh. throwe, throwing, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and just. And, and just. And, and just, and just, just. And, just, just, just, just, just. And, just, thi. thi. thi. the basement. That's art. It was art. Yes. Yes. Yeah, Ty West. It was art and then it cuts back to him lying on the ground and Pearl is outlined in shadow. She's backlit. Yeah. Just casting the shadow of her holding a pitchfork and I adored it. Yeah. I adored it. It's so cool. And then she starts burying him in the hay with the pitchfork. This whole scene is so good.

So good. So then we get Howard, Kid Cutty gets woken up by the sound of creaking in the house. And he goes out to examine what's going on with no clothes on whatsoever. Just dick hanging. Holy ghost, when you asked me at the beginning of this episode if I knew anything about Kid Cody, I should have said he's got a huge dick. That had to be a prosthetic, right? No, that's his dick, I'm sure of it. It almost hit his knees.

Yes. There is like a definitive shot of him standing back lit in the doorway, so you just see this huge crank. I mean, like a dick you've never seen it before in your life. A dick that if it got up and walked away of its own volition, you would not be surprised. Yes, it's big. Yeah, of course he was holding a cat. Why wouldn't you do that? You can't just leave it there. He's just stadler, he's, the back, the back, the back, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. He's, th. He's, th. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi. He, th. He, th. He, th. He, th. He, th, th, th, th, th, th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's thi. He's thi. He's thi. He's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. shorts on, I'll come to help you. I love him.

He's a next Marine. He did two tours of duty in Vietnam, we're told. And he's once a Marine, always a Marine. Howard has also had this military service and so he feels like bonded with Howard to help him find his wife. Because Howard kind of like when he was like, he was like, to be a, like, like, like to them in the beginning when he's renting the house and he's like I didn't expect all these people and like kind of like giving them like the your hippies business sure and kid cutting was like yeah not so much right and that's why you pointed out the

two tours and like and then he's like yeah I'll help you find your way because that's what we do for each other to be fair to be he was nude but for dog tags. Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and a huge crank. I mean, Jesus, Christ. He could have thrown that thing around his... You don't think that's real. He could have thrown that thing around his neck like a fucking giant scarf on Lettie grabbits. Yeah, like a feather boa. I mean, maybe it is, I don't know. Kid cutty. You, and only you can send us dick. No one else. I feel like if it was real we would know it. Like there would be a blooper real at the end where he's like, hey! Look at this thing. I don't know. You know what, I will not have this negativity in my life that Dick was real. So John O'Reilly is locked in the basement because a fucking courtier. Yeah, well what's in the basement with her? So I thought it was R.J at first.

Yeah. It is not. No, it's some other dude. It's a man all strung up in the basement. Yeah. that man all strung up in the basement. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, the thi, the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. toge, togeeeeeeeeeeea. togeeeeeeea. togeeeeeeeeeeeea. thi. thi. thi. th Yeah. Raping that man who was hung up in the basement. Oh, 100%. Oh, God damn it, girl. Yeah. This movie like makes a term where you're like, oh it's gross. Oh, it's a gross movie. It's gross, yeah. Yeah, yeah. But I'm still on board. I'm still on board with the grossness. And Jenny, or Jennatega finds a hatchet. She does. That she's going to start hacking her way out of the basement with. She does. And then we cut back into the interior fairhouse where Pearl has gone into. Mia Gots.

Mea Guts. Has pulled the blanket off of her, starts undressing. And you're just like, please don't assault the sleeping woman. She just gets on into the bed with blood all over her hands. Yeah, yeah, rubbing her side with the bloody, bloody hands. Yeah. Yeah. It's even weirder when you know that Bia gotthaf was running her own side. Less weird, honestly. Okay, okay. I think it should have been an old person. I don't, was like, was like, was like, was like, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was that, was that, was that, was that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. Please, please, thi, thi, thi, thi, theeea, thea, thea, thi, thea, thi. Please, thea, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, okay. I think it should have been an old person. Was that just, do you think that was just an artistic choice to be like, it's a, oh, it's me a goth?

Rather than just getting an actor's... I think it... Rather than just getting an elderly actor to do it? I think so, because the whole thing of, like, the fact that they were shooting Pearl at the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, like, the, like, like, Yeah, I think that it was on purpose so that like there was that continuity. I feel like if it had been an actual elderly woman, this would have haunted my nightmares. Yeah, yeah, for sure. That's what I meant about, it been making it like palatable knowing that it's like a youngster. Yeah. And I also want to know, so I have this theory, So I have this thor spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler. So I this this this th spoiler. So I th spoiler. So I th, so I have th, so I have th, so I have th, so I have th, so I have th, so I have th, so I have th, so I have th, so I have th, so I have thi, so I want th. So I want th. So I've th. So I've th. So I've th. So I've th. So I've th, th, th, th, th. So I've th. So I've th. So I th. So I th. So I th. So I th. So I th. So I th. So I th. So I th. So I th. So I th. So I th. So I th. So I th. So I th. So I th. I th. I thi, I thi, thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. thi. I'm thi. thi. I'm thi. thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm th. I I have this theory, spoiler alert for the end of this movie where it's revealed that Mia Goths character is the daughter of the preacher. Just like in We Sum of the Darkness. Just like in We Some of the Darkness, except that that preacher is a far better actor

than Johnny Niesville. Well, but has that preacher ever been shot in the nuts with a BB gun? You didn't stick around for the end credit scene. Bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow. Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville and welcome to X. But so I have, I want to know like, is Maxine Pearls like somehow related to Pearl and that preacher getting it on at some point? Because he was also old and shit. I guess, I don't know. I mean, I really, I mean, the theme of the movie is that someday you're gonna be too old to fuck and it's gonna break your heart.

Right. Right? Right. Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And also, it will drive you to murder. I mean, I hope not. The old man kills Kid Cutty as you know where was going to happen. Shoot some with a shotgun, which I feel like Kid Cutty deserves so much more. And Kid Cutty gets freaked out because he finds a Volkswagen bug stuck in the swamp.

Yes, and not push into the lake and not very well. And he's like, oh no, this is bad. Yes, but he still doesn't distrust the old man. Right, right, right, right. Which is also heartbreaking. And then the old man shoots and kills him. And then the old man goes back to the house where Jenna Ortega is trying to, uh, I'm sorry, what is her character's name?

Lorraine. Where Lorain is to bust out of the scene. And she gets most of her arm out of this hole in the basement. Why did she not break out the panel in the door that was closer to the lock? So she could reach it? Lorraine, you're supposed to be brainy. So that we could see her hand get smashed with a shotgun. Oh, he fucking mashes it. So brutal. So brutal. So brutal. Meanwhile, this is being cut with Bobby Lynn waking up to Maxine screaming and Pearl hustling out just fucking full ass naked, shambling by. One made say Stark Raving Nude. Stark Raving Nude. And then the next thing time we see Maxine, she's just taking a little toot. Just getting herself ready for this. It's like, hold,

I'll clear your mind. She loves pugger, man. She sure does.. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thuu. thu. thu. thu. thu. getting herself ready for this. It's like hold I'll clear your mind. She loves poker sugar man. She sure does and then Bobby Lynn's like as I have the note Bobby Lynn goes to look for the menfolk. She does and she gets confronted by Pearl who slaps her right in the face yeah and calls her an old bit. She well she says to her why should you get to have it all? And Bobby Lynn says, It ain't my fault you didn't live life you wanted. Yeah. And then she, Pearl shoves her right into the water.

Yeah. And then, the crock and gator gets to eat the lady. I wrote, ha ha ha, ha, ha, ha, the gator, I gasped, I'm squealing, I'm very happy right now. Do you feel like this made up for crawl? The Crocogger movie that you hated? Yeah, I mean no berry pepper in this but I could do without it. I like berry pepper. I know you do. You're a pepper.

They call us Sergeant Peppers. So, um, she gets eaten and then, uh, Howard and, uh, what does the, oh, a pearl come out of the woods towards Mia goth. And she's like, oh, oh, oh, I don't like this. Right. She hides under a bed. Yeah. And then the elderly folks come in and have this conversation where she's like, tell me I'm pretty, tell me you love me, tell me I'm special.... th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. And I'm th. And I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. H Ha. Ha. Ha. And I's. And I's. And I's. And I's. And I's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the th the the thi. the thi. thi. th th come in and have this conversation where she's like, tell me I'm pretty, tell me you love me, tell me I'm special. And I was just like, I hope I'm fucking over my insecurities by the time I'm her age. Yeah, hopefully.

This is a bummer. You think the, these two old people fucking with the young lady. No, I think that being like, I don't know, so he served in two world wars, so he had to have been at least a teenager in the mid-1910, so he had to have been born in like 1900, right? Yeah, yeah, or earlier, it's 1979. He's actually not as old as I would have expected. Right, as old as that makeup make is, I'm like a god damn wizard. He does look 110. Anyway, when I'm 80, I'm just gonna be okay with it, right? Yeah, I think so. I'm fine by then.

I, I 100% believe also when I'm 80, like, fuck it is the last thing I'm gonna wanna do like. I mean, who's exhausting? Who was he ever? Anyway, he's like, the old ticker. She's like, you're fine, you fucking puss. Give me that dick, dog? And he does, he gives her that dick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Somehow the bed creaking meagoth is just hilarious.

Well, interesting you say that, because this was the point in the movie that when I rented this movie, the description was suspense comedy horror. And I said, in what world is this movie funny? No, this movie's not funny. And it was like, only if you think, oh, people fucking on top of me and God, this funny. And I mean, to be fair, I do. Yeah, there's some funny scenes,

but there's no way on earth that would ever call this movie a comedy. No, this is like that Australian one. With that that th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. that that that that that that that that that that that thi thi. that that thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tha. tha. tha. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. ure porn one that I thought was gonna be a comedy? Which one was that? Where the girl and the prom and her dad just, yes, yes, yes. Yes, yes. The last, the loved ones. The loved ones, yes. I was like Lake Mungo? That was not a comedy. But so she gets away.

But so she gets away. the room, thinks the thinks, I I I I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, thi, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the last, the last, the last, his heart is gonna be better. Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. But now she gets away. She slinks across the floor and gets away. She's feet, feet tall. God damn Sasquatch. She gets out to the van and the tire has been stabbed. And then we see R.J. Yeah. Yeah.

And this seemingly just pisses me a govol off. It does, but then she goes into the house, the big house, where they, the older folks live and starts creeping around, which is kind of weird because she knows where they are. Right, right. But that's when she hears Jenna Ortega screaming. Yes, who's like screaming, I never should have listened to you, this is all your fault. She tries to run out the door door, to, to, to, to, to, the the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the older, the older, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, and, their, and, and, and, their, and, and, their, th. And, tho, tho, tho, thoooooooooooo, the. And, their their their their their their their, their, their, their, the front door and Harold fucking blasts her with a shotgun and she goes up in the air and down to the ground. Yeah, and that's the end of John Ortega. Bye-bye. So, Mia goth go to get the gun out of the glove box. But we know it's not loaded. Yes. She also goes, where are the fucking keys?

All right. Oh, my! It's like as soon as she has to yell, you're like, nope. It's the downfall. I think that's why House never yells. How can you get upset? He always just has to talk like this the entire time he's speaking. If British people have to be doing an American accent, the only way they can be mad is to crunch them teeth. Although I feel like doing like a super southern accent is probably a lot easier for them. That's what they think American sound like anyway.

Exactly. Yeah. It is kind of what we sound. Oh, have you ever seen the Nick Kroll show? Yes. Have you seen the Ponsilvania skit? No. It's these series of skits that take place thi. th. th. th. th. ththea ththea ththea ththea th-in thi thi their thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, thi, thi, thi, its that take place in Pittsburgh and Philly and it's basically just two actors doing Pittsburgh and Philly accents at each other. I love that. And it's fucking hilarious. That sounds so fun. I'm going to watch that later. And like some people have such strong accents that they get subtitles.

And like this one woman she's like saying downtown and it's just like downtown at the bottom of the screen. Look I'm proud of my accent. Oh sure yeah you should be. It's getting worse they get older too. Oh God. Did you see that thing that I sent you on Twitter that was the news like I did. The accents in that are just nah. No, Harold come down. So there's this confrontation where Mia Goth is pointing the gun at them and Howard's ticker finally gives out. Oh God, yes. Yes. His ticker.

And how does, how does Mia Goth get outside with the, with the lady? She shoots her, the old lady. She was not prepared for the kickback and breaks her god-dame hip. That was a funny sie where she's just like, ah, my hip. Yeah, help. The Mia goth just backs over her dome. It fucking crutches her head.

And then it does more tut. And then her head falls apart. Here's where I wrote, some muddled themes in this guy. And then we get the reveal that Mia goth is the preacher's daughter. Because he shows a picture of her where she looks all like a schoolgirly. Exactly, exactly. And the cops, we cut back to the present day where the cops are talking in the house again. One of them's like, it's one god damn fucked up horror picture. That's the end of the movie. I like that dude because

that guy's from New Zealand and I was like, oh you're nailing it. Kiwis can do a great southern accent. Yeah. I thought Wayne was fantastic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But plus you just have all those Matthew McConah job of that. You know what I mean? He watched, Dazed and Confused, he was like, I can do Waterson. So Katie, Alan, did you stick around? What are you fucking? For the mid-credit sequence. Neither did I, but I know that it exists. And there was...

I did not go back and watch it, despite knowing about it. There's a teaser for Pearl that that that happens, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,-sequence or mid-credits thing. Well, I'm really looking forward to that. Yeah, I'm excited for it. I think the Maxine movie has three X's. Oh. You know, that's got to be like, sexy. Sexy.

Katie. What's your rating on this flim? I love this movie. This is a nine and a half. Nine and a half! I loved it. I adored it. It was so weird and sexy, which I don't normally like sexy. You know that's a thing that I have a physical repulsion towards. We both are uncomfortable with human affection.

Because I was ready to be mad at it. I thought I was, I was, I was, I was that I was that I was that I God, making a porn is just a way to get tits in a movie. But the movie ends up being about these themes of like getting old and not being able to fuck, and like wistfulness for your past beauty. And even like, at my age, I feel like I was so hard on myself in my 20s, when I look so much better than I do now. And it's like, I look back at that and I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, that, that, that, that, that, that's like, that's that's like, that's th, th, th, th, th like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. couldn't you've been easier on yourself? Yeah. It's weird. Life is weird. Yeah and I feel like that's the theme of this movie and I loved it. Yeah for sure. Whoa whoa. Yeah I also really liked it I'll give it a nine I thought it was a solid-ass movie I am I am I am a Thai West fan. Fnck I am I am a tie-F I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am a fan. I am a fan. F fan. F fan. F fan. F fan. F fan. I am a th. F F F F F F F F. I am a th. I am a thi I am a thi I am a thi I am a thi I am a thi thi. I am a thi. I am a thi thi thi thi thi thi. I am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am am a fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan fan. I am a fan. I am a fan. I am a fan. I am a fan. I am a fan. I am a fan. F fan. F fan. F fan. F fan. F F F F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi th, like, Innkevers is a super slow-ass movie that I can understand why people would tap out on. That's why I'm worried about doing it for the show.

Yeah, you're right. But I think as like, the scenes that are rewarding in that movie are so fucking rewarding. And when it ends, you're just like, t, Kelly McGillis, isn't that? Yeah, she's the older woman. I don't remember that. Yeah, all right. Yeah, she's the woman with the crystals. I like Kelly McGillis. Yeah, who doesn't? Sideboob for her in that movie too, Top Gun. There you go. Who doesn't love a sideboob? Everybody loves sideboob. Yeah, it's true. Just reminded me of my favorite graffiti I thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm like thi, I thi, I thi, I th. I th. I th. I th. I I th. I th. I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi. I thi. I thi. I'm thi. I'm like thi. I'm like, I'm like, thiiiiiiiiiii. I like thiii. I like thi. I like thi. I like thi. I blowjops. I don't know why that just reminded me that. I know I love that. Yeah, it's true. My favorite graffiti I've ever seen was in Pittsburgh and it said,

Bill Padoo is a Dickless Rascal. Bill Padoo was the mayor at the time. And then someone wrote, it's all in the same. It was up for 24 hours. Gone. Wasn't it right in front of the Chersaid? Yep, he was on the bridge coming across into my neighborhood. Bill Paduto is a Dickless rascal. No, he's not. Yes, I am.

It's so good. It's fucking art. Like this movie, it's fucking art. Whatever, fucking human being did that is a genius Yeah, someone out there because we got a lot of Pittsburgh listeners. Yeah someone is either that person or knows that person. Yeah, tell them I love them. Yeah, tell them that Dickless Rascal is my favorite phrase of the last 10 years Katie, you know what one of my favorite thing is? What? That we have a Google phone line that people can leave us messages on? All right? Prepare yourself for some information? th. th. th. to? to? to? to? to? to to th. to to th. th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. thi? thi? thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's, that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, the the the thi. Yeah, tell, the thi. Yeah, tell, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, Prepare yourself for some information that's about to be dropped on y'all's heads. Okay. Oh my god, you guys. I'm so excited that you have this thing that we can leave a message on because so often I'm in my car screaming at you and this time I was like I'm going to call them and leave this message. So I'm listening to the orphan podcast first of all.

I just saw what's it called barbarians and it was super good you guys are trying to try it out second I'm listening to Orphan and it's just the beginning and Katie's like this is ridiculous and I'm screaming and wondering and I'm assuming since you didn't bring it up then that you don't know this is there is a real life. This just happened Like some foreign Woman with this condition That was like 33 was adopted by a family No shit. I'm gonna find out how you can find this out. I don't know if I can do that without hanging up on you

Just Google real-life orphan and it will come up. I have so much more to say to both of you guys. I love you so much, but I'm going to go pick up my prescription at TVS. All right, Google real-life orphan. You won't regret it. M-Wa. Dawn, rhymes with yawn. Dawn rhymes with yawn. Don rhymes with yawn, dawn rhymes with dawn. And that is how you say dawn. Yawn and on.

Rime, I don't know what to tell you. So whenever I get a Google voicemail, it always does it out in text, and it's usually wildly incorrect, which I appreciate. But every time they said, Dawn, or dawn, it just wrote it as dawn. I don't know what you're saying. I know, I know, people out there are hearing it. So, on and on don't rhyme?

No, they do when you say them, yes. When you say them, what do they sound like? No, I feel like on and dawn are pretty close for me. Wait. Like when you're yawning. pretty close for me. Wait. Don is something completely different. Yawn? Like when you're yawning. Yawn. Say it again.

Yawning. Yawning. Yawning. Yawny. Yeah, why you yawning? Anyway, I'm googling. Anyway, I'm Googling real life or a while. Also, I really appreciate this email. I love you for this because that means we're getting we're they they they they they they they're getting they're getting they're getting they're getting they're getting they're getting they're getting they're getting they're getting they're getting they're getting they're getting they're getting they're getting they're getting they're getting I appreciate that you didn't bother to leave your fucking name.

I love you for this because that means we're getting another voicemail. Real life orphan. Real life orphan! Oh, fuck. Oh my God. Is it real? Yeah. Oh, wait. Thank you anonymous Tipster.

Is it just this Angelfire website that they set up? Okay, apparently this woman is 22. Oh no! Do not like! Do not like... But she doesn't look quite proportional to me. She's got a really big head. Oh boy, she had periods.

She had adult teeth. All right, I'm done reading that. So thank you, Anonymous Caller for that phone call. Look, Anonymous Caller. One, love your energy. Two, you're wrong about Dawn and Dawn. And three... Get that prescription! What was I really going to say, though. Thank you for telling us, so that was a documentary. Yeah.

Great. That's why the sex scenes were so realistic. It was a documentary. Oh, Katie, speaking of documentaries, what are we doing next week? A movie you selected? I did. To be fair, I said, saw a two through eight. Yeah. And you said, oh, I think we've been doing these movies a disservice and

I think we got to do it in order? I forgot that I talk like Keanu Reeves. In your dreams. So we're doing saw two. So to sa two. Oh, fuck me! Starring one, Marcus Mark's brother, Donna Walburg. I have so much to say about Donus Wahlberg. Is his name Donald? Donald Walberg? It must be, yeah. Go fuck yourself.

Although he's from South Boston, he may just be named Donnie. Yeah, Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Donnie. Yaw. This is what I don't get. Yon and on. What am I missing? I know that. That, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that, that, to to to, to, to, to, to, to, don't, don't, don't, don't, to to to to that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is thoan, thoan thoan thoanan thoanan thoann, thoan thoann, thoanan, thoan, thoan, thoan, than, thi. Don,? Donnie. Yaw. This is what I don't get. Yawn and on. What am I missing? I know that is a bad example because they're the same sound. You, ah! Anyway, come back for Satu.

Find us on the internet. Join our Patreon if you'd like to get our action movie episodes. Where are all wolfambulance. to come back. Nope. Ah. If you go to any of our social media, there is a link tree that will give you all of our links. I highly encourage you to donate to the Western PA abortion fund. Yes.

Or your local abortion fund, too, because it matters where you are as well. Exactly. And if you live in Western Pennsylvania, both West Virginia and Ohio are having a lot of problems right now, the Ohio's law that they're trying to inflict was just put on hold for a little while. But Pittsburgh is the closest place for many, many hundreds of miles in a lot of directions. Yeah, so they could use your monies and help people who can get pregnant out, not getting the health care they need. Right. So keep being righteous and thanks for listening to another episode of where I will famulf ambulance. Bye-bye. Spicy? I think you're supposed to say empty.

Clear. Okay. Empty! Woo! I'm not in the clouds and laugh of face. Can him live in his face. A pair in sarcastic in case. Please make I continue to look right. E&T.

A-Roddum comedy reviews hungry, Pryor, Brian from wings and Stephen Gang. E-T. We live deliciously bad temperatures obesely come to daddy. A paranormal act in tidies from Mr. Rogers to me. EFT. E.M.2.